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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1981-03-04, Page 38Share the. housewor A word to the bride and groom: If you think the joyous tones of the wedding recessional, the laughter as the rice flies and the excitement of speeding off for your honeymoon - are but samples of the happily -ever -after to come... And if you think you are well acquainted with that gorgeous person who just said "I do" to you at the altar... Well, hear this: All is not moonlight and roses from this day forward,. Now comes the business of learning to live together. And it isn't easy. Love won't carry you through. But co-operation will — if combined with a sense of humor and the wisdom to keep your mouth shut at crucial times. The first crisis could come in a hurry. For instance, there was the bride who- had the bad luck to choose a wedding date that coincided with Playboy publication day. At 'the first gas stop en. route to a seaside resort, Mr. Newlywed bought the magazine and turned the steering wheel over to his bride. She steamed! But his head didn't come up until he heard the siren. The speeding fine still is a hot subject 15 years later. Assuming, however, that love has triumphed long enough for you to take up residence in your first abode and settle down to the business of living together, be ready for some adjustments. The way ',figure it, on the housekeeping front there's- a whole new day due, for even with most young wives solidly ensconced in the working world, there lingers the assumption that home is her responsibility and anything he contributes in the way of chores is a gift. We have to change tli world's thinking, brides. Try to get across to Mr. Newlywed that housework is also his responsibility. He's not helping you, he's doing his half. But remember that if you. succeed, he expect you to do your half, too. In this regard, the worst trap, by far, is paying attention to the neighbors. If you remark, "Mr. Downstairs gets up first every morning. and cooks breakfast," Friend • Husband may counter with "Mrs. Adjoiningapartment washes and waxes the car!" Or if you try, "Sam Southcorner does all the vacuuming," There's "Fran Fir- stfloor insists that her husband have TWO nights a week out with the boys." If you use this bait to try to get some .co- operative action, watch out for a mate with a snappy answer. Mine's rebuttal to my neighborly comparisons was, "Mr. Downstairs is not my ideal.' And it turned out, neither was Sam South - corner. The pattern was set early in our marriage. I heard voices outside. Mr. Nextdoor, a seasoned husband, was giving advice: "Now son, don't start ANYTHING that you don't want to do the rest of your life. Why, once. when my littlecupcake had a bad cold, I did the dishes for her. Ever since, she sits on a kit- chen stool raud talks to inc while I do the dishes. That's 23 years: Don't lift a hand, son! You'll -be sorry for the rest of your That's the kind of man my husband chose as his ideal. One who thinks first and acts never. But all in a marriage is not work and the proper distribution of same, so, young lovers, let's take up another topic — one on which you've probably made some assumptions that will have to be rethought. You expect no problem in the bedr.00m...right? Well, there's more than lovemaking goes on within those four walls. There's also the matter of sleep, a necessity. And there are rules to the game. And you do not both ,enter this marriage with the same sleep rules. Is it impossible for you to sleep unless the covers are cozily tucked in at the foot of the bed? Adjust, my girl. He kicks them out as a prelude to set- tling down to his dreams. Like to read in bed? Well, turn out the light. He doesn't. And a word about sleep attire. For every bride who shops the lingerie department for silk and lace there is a bridegroom who sleeps in old gym shorts. (Or, worse, in the underwear he has had on allday and will wear again tomorrow if you don't swipe it while he is in the shower.) It's revolting, but not worth worrying about in comparison to... Snoring ! Doesn't seem like a hearts and flowers subject,. does it? But there is a 100 per cent chance that one of you will snore every night and it's 99 per cent sure to be him. My dear girl, there are only two avenues open to you:, (1) Go to sleep first so you won't hear it. This may. be difficult to ac- complish, so there's the alternative: (2) Give him a nudge. This takes constant ex- perimentation and ad- justment of technique. You start gently, progress through shove, move on to punch, then a few well placed kicks, and hope it never gets to slug. The trick is to determine what it takes to stop the snore without waking him and bringing on a bellow, "What the heck do you think you are doing?" Those are just some of the battlegrounds. Also, fair bride, if your young man has been living a bachelor's life, away from his mother's washing machine, you may confront -the dirty - sock syndrome. He has learned to avoid laun- dromata until his clothes walk there alone, and Best man's duties Everybody wants their wedding to go as smoothly as posible butwith the moun- tains of obligations pressing upon the bride and groom, it's no wonder that they often feel overwhelmed This is, where the wedding party can best serve the happy and sometimes harried couple. Usually a good friend of the groom acting as best man takes on a great many important wedding duties, the most familiar of which is holding the bride's ring until the ceremony and then presenting it to the groom who then places it on the bride's finger. Planning the bachelor party or stag is also left 'up to the best man. He makes all the arrangements regarding time, place and guest list. The best man is respon- sible forgetting 'the groom to the church on time the day of the wedding. Immediately before or just after the ceremony, he should present the fee for services to the clergyman. This he obtains from the groom on the preceeding day. After the ceremony is over, the best man will usually drive the newlyweds to the reception and preside as official toastmaster. Acting in this capacity, he will generally propose the first toast to the happy couple. Perfect spouse If new brides share one fault above all in common, it is probably that of just plain trying too bard to be `the perfect wife'. The first months of marriage may find the newlywed woman caught up in a frantic whirl of gourmet cooking and baking, men- ding and cleaning–all done at the same time she is trying to adjust to her new spouse. There is no real `cure' for the syndrome, which is not restricted to the female sex. You can be sure that the new groom is going through the same tortures in his self- imposed new roles of Don Juan, the Great Protector and Mr. Fix -it. It's• a good idea for newlyweds to remember that no one in the world can or will expect these towering heights of perfection and he or she who adjusts slowly and reasonably will not be filled with guilt when the souffle falls or the new shelf comes crashing down. there is armale quirk that can let him step out of a shower, fresh and shiny, into the same soggy clothes he took off. You'll learn to deal with it. Meantime, try not to head- - for .the _ marriage counselor when you discover that — his mother never taught him to wipe down the wall after a shower. — the sound of an emory board on her finger nails drowns out everything else. — he simply will not hang towels neatly after he's used them. — she is latefor everything: - there sometimes seems to be NOTHING on which you agree. Really, it's a wonder any marriage survives. But yours can. The secret is for one of you to, have a wonderful disposition. Impossible? Not at all. - You take turns. IT'S,. t HOUSEHUSBAND . . Eureka! With shared house- work on the 'upswing among young marrieds, husbands .u-,. taking a greate r interest in household appliances. A two. for vacuum cleaner such as this Power Team 'ratrs-high µitir "househusbands"' beeeause'it combines thebeating action oral, upright with the strong suction of u canister, and handily,, ar- ries its attachments arom►d with it. Be the 1981 Groom of Distinction with FreemanTormal Wear Here, Bob shows Colin one of the many smartly styled tuxedos iwfhe 1981 Freeman catalogue Campbell's, your Freeman Formal Rental dealer for Clinton, Goderich, Bayfield and area. Come in, and pick up a catalogue and put together your version of the FREEMAN LOOK.... MAIN CORNER CLINTON 482-9732 For you at your Best CA' FNEEAD •?. "Tailored to fit like your own"