The Goderich Signal-Star, 1987-02-04, Page 4PAGE 4-GODEikICH SIGNAL -STAR, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 1987
There's a bit of the old entrepreneurial
spirit in all of us.
Everyone, I would daringly submit, has
fantasized about inventing new and novel
products for mass consumption. Have
you looked at some useless product and
marvelled at the daring of its inventor to
go so far as to market the thing and then
have the audacity to cash the hefty
residual cheques'?
Sorne people have no morals.
And have you ever marvelled at; the in-
genuity of other inventors who concoct
and fashion appliances, comforting
beverages and other modern conve-
niences that make us wonder how we
ever got by without the product in the
first place?
Isn't technology wonderful?
And, during weak moments, 1 have
boldly maintained that my cerebral parts
are adequately equipped to conjure up
such inventions. Some inventions are so
DAVE SYK
ES
blatantly obvious they make one say out
loud, -Now why didn't I think of that."
Many inventions are gnerely ridiculous.
and border on insane. Pet rocks and
Slime immediately come to mind as
perfect examples. But, if people can con-
opinion
o
p n -
vince the masses they need these things
•to lead fulfilling lives, and become pro-
sperous at the same time, then who am I
to question the results.
The consuming public not only craves,
but demands these -inane products. And
•the opportunities appear to be endless.
Ever since products like the famous
Hula Hoop and gourmet popping corn and
chocolate chip cookies have made their
creators financially secure, en-
trepreneurs have been salivating in
search of the next hot prospect.
The toy and game market is always
ripe for the novel inventor and products
like Trivial Pursuit, talking teddy bears
and dolls and winged creatures have e„
been turned into success stories.
I've had my own ideas over the years,
ideas that, given the financial backing,
could spell instant buckerinos for this
correspondent. My fertile thought process
spews out ingenious ideas as rapidly as
obscenities tumble from the mouth of
Harold Ballard.
In short, the supply is plentiful.
Some of my ideas may border on the
absurd, but others are so simple that,
well...any idiot could have thought of
them. Sample the following.
I firmly believe that prescription wind-
shields would be a big seller in North
America and Japan. How many people do
you know who are legally blind without
their glasses and yet insist on driving
without them.
Plenty, tight? They claim their.
eyesight is just fine while they glance off
parked cars and the sides of buildings. I
think the product could be a commercial
succes if the major car makers, could on-
ly manufacture a car that could last 25
years.
Another prospect that deserves dutiful
consideration is the electric driveway.
Image not having to shovel to get the
family wagon out of the driveway in the
morning. Just turn on the electric
driveway before going to bed and enjoy
carefree motoring.
Of course, a warm driveway is likely to
become home to 90 per cent of the town's
stray animal population but there are
'minor, inconvenient, side effects to some
of these ingenious inventions.
And I've often surmised that those
humid, muggy summer days could be
much more comfortable if I was to in-
troduce air-conditioned toilets. What a
way to cool off, not just in the summer,
but year round.
I think the idea has modest potential.
Everyone in the country has at least one
toilet and there would have to be a net-
work of sales and service people. Not to
mention the retail outlets.
I have other sure-fire ideas that can't
be released for obvious reasons. Now if I
only had the money.
d inion
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Attend public meeting
Many citizens of the town of Goderich have adequately voiced their opinions on the future
of recreation and the facilities they feel should be a part of the future of the town.
Using the input from the master plan and feasibility study as a barometer, it is obvious
people have definite and ambitious ideas of what is needed in Goderich to satisfy their pre-
sent and future recreation needs. .
A comprehensive master plan was prepared by John Stevenson and Associates,of Toronto
and a recreation complex' feasibility :study arose from that work. ' ,
On Tuesday; Feb. 10 another in a series of public meetings on'the recreation master plan -
complex issue will be held at The Livery on South Street at 8:30 p.m. Other public meetings
asked for your input, your ideas and your energies.
This meeting is ,perhaps, the most important. The consultant will present his'recommen-
dations to the public with respect to what kinds of facilities are wanted aid needed in
Goderich, 'where they should be located and how we can go about financing them.
If you are concerned and interested about the issue, then you are urged to attend, D.S.
A disturbing trend
Goderich Town Council recently re -affirmed an earlier decision not, to allow tobogganing
in the Optimist Park. At first glance, the decision seems an innocuous one, similar to many
such decisions being made in other rnunicipalities throughout the country — aimed at
safeguarding municipalities from the threat of lawsuits launched by citzens injured while
making unathorized use of municipal property. However, it is representative of a much
larger problem.
Sorne citizens are naturally upset at being denied use of an ideal facility for an enjoyable
winter sport, as was one local man who attended the Jan. 26 session of council to protest the
tobogganing ban. Unfortunately, Goderich Council, like councils country -wide, has no
choice but to protect their Municipalities from financially -crippling lawsuits through
precautions like the tobogganing ban. ' •
This reasoning behind the tobogganing ban is Similar in nature to the town's decision two
.years ago, not to create a facility 'for use by riders of BMX bicycles.. In this age of multi-
million dollar settlements, to condone or create facilities for for potentially injurious ac-
' tivities
c-'tivities is Cahtamount to inviting litigation.
Most municipalities began to take a more cautious approach to such activities after the
City of Brampton was orded to pay around $6 million to a man"injured while riding a motor-
bike on land owned by the city. While in this case, the land in question was not designated as
an area for use by motorized vehicles — neither'wafi it posted as an area where they, were
prohibited and the city was found liable.
Goderich Councillor Jim Searls, in opposing the ban, made a valid point, in suggesting
that if the town backs away from this type of recreation for fear of lawsuits, it must also look
at the potential dangers of such traditional activities as hockey, soccer, baseball and other
recognized sports.
Council made the only decision it could, in light of the current insurance and legal implica-
tions, of the decision. It is to be hoped that the judical'.systern will look more carefully at the
reasonablity of its settlements in the future, before it manages to frighten municipalities out
of supporting recreational activities altogether. — P. R..
Recruits from Goderich and area
needed for artillery work in 1917
25 years ago
February 1, 1962:
A new modern machine was recently in-
stalled at the W.A. Sheaffer Pen Company
of Canada Limited. The new machine
turns out 150 ink -filled cartridges every
minute,. The set-up provides an automated
production line with an endless chain of 200
Individual pockets, each of which holds a
single cartridge. , The machine collates,
fills, caps, seals and tests each cartridge
on the assembly line. Al three components
are manufactured from basic ingredients
right in the Goderich plant and are 100 per
. cent Canadian content. This new machine
has three -times the production capacity of
the formes one which is being dismantled
and shipped to Australia for use in that
plant.
For many years, the name Reg McGee
has' been synonymous with the car sales
district in Goderich and. district. Just
recently it was announced that the. firm
was making a change in their franchise. •
Now a great name in the national
automobile scene joins a -well-known name
on the local scene. Reg McGee and Sons
Limited become Pontiac, Buick, Cadillac;
'Vauxhall, Acadia and GMC truck dealers.
Efforts are being made to raze the old
park fence around Agricultural Park over
which kids have climbed for nearly 40
years to get free entrance into sporting
events in the Park. Or, if the youngsters
haven't been climbing over the fence, the
LOOKING BACK
meeker ones have peeked through cracks
in the fence. The Kinsmen Club passed a
motion in favour of providing financial
assistance to the Town of Goderich to help
defray expenses in putting up an entirely
new. fence.
50 years•ago
February 4, 1937:
Cupid was frozen out of Goderich last
month apparently, according to vital
statisties at the town hall: Not one couple
said "I do" during January. In January of
last year, there were two marriages. The
stork did a, land-office business however,
there being 11 births as compared to 5 last
year. • Death almost tripled the number
taken in January of 1936, six persons hav-
ing -died during that month last year while
16 passed away last month.
•
Over 7000 bottles of milk have been given
out to the children of Central School in the
past five months, Miss Mabel Baillie, con-
venor fo the Welfare Committee of Central
Home and School Club, reported at the an-
nual meeting held Tuesday afternoon. She
stated that $127.65 had been received for
the milk fund during the year, and $32.07
was given for clothing.
•
Flu of a mild form has been temporarily-
disorganizing
emporarilydisorganizing business and school staffs.
Efforts to combat an attack "without stay-
ing in bed for the prescribed four days in-
variably runs the days of enforced retire-
ment to -double the number.
70 years ago '
February 1, 1917:
Lt. Col. E.N. Lewis would like to receive
a good number of recruits from Goderich
and vicinity for the artillery units which he
is organizing. He ports out that this will
probably be the 1st chance .for the young
men to .get a trip across the ocean at the
expense of the country, with the probabili-
ty that they will be home by next fall. Mr.
Andrew Porter will receive applications
from any intendingdrecruit.
A Juvenile Court for the City of Stratford
and the County of Perth has been
established with Mr. James Torrance, col-
lector of customs at Stratford and former
member of the Legislature for North
Perth, as judge. . A similiar court for
Huron County was advocated in letters
recently published in The Signal.
Clara Kimball Young, surrounded by a
cast of exceptional brilliance; will be.seen
in a great seven -reel production of Robert
W. Chambers' novel "The Common Law"
at the Model Theatre. The production is
heralded as magnificent in every respect
and is creating a sensation in the movie
world.
IDEMEINS
Recently; I made a typical rookie shop-
pers' mistake and went to the super-
market during prime shopping hours.
.While the grocery shopping itself was
uneventful, I was treated to several as-
tounding revelations while standing in the
lengthy express checkout line.
First of all, contrary to popular belief,
flying saucers., UFOs and,alierd
spacecrafts in general do exist in great
numbers and make frequent visits to
earth. Also, there a many famous people
long believed dead, who were actually
merely in hiding or had been kidnapped
by some subversive agency, and in reali-
ty continue to walk the earth. Despite
what you might hear from the overweight
segment of the population, there are any
number of diets which allow for the shed-
ding of several hundred unwanted pounds
within the sparse of a Yew. days.
• 1 learned all of this without even turn-
ing the pages of. the assortment of color-
ful tabloids displayed near the checkout'.
counter. Thi much information was
available to anyone who took the time to
read a few of the brash headlines on the
covers of such publications.
Had I known these'fountains of
misknowledge existed in my youth, I
might have thought twice about going in-
to the comparatively banal field of com-
munity news reporting. 1 mean, here we
are wasting all this time gathering facts
and checking for accuracy, when we
could have what appears at first glance
to be,the greatest job in journalism.
Imagine the freedom to sit at your
typewriter and fantasize about the news,
rather than taking the trouble to gather,
it. It could signifigantly shorten the
reporter's work day. If you can't reach
someone for in time for your deadline —
no problem — simply use your ingenuity
to conjur up what he might have said,
given the oplportunity.
To continue as they do, the tabloids
must have a solid .base of readers
somewhere. Hut where are they? Clow
-often have you seen one of them on
somebody's coffee table? Do you know
anyone with a subscription? Their,
readers seem to feel a need to conceal
their loyalty.
Since most tabloid readers claim to
peruse these publications merely for •
laughs, it is hard to tell what portion of
the population'is really keeping these
',rags in business.
Therefore, 1 thought 1 would offer these
helpful hints. for silotting theserious
tabliod reader.
You know someone is a tabloid junkie
when:
1. They remark to you that you should
really break out the telescope after din-
ner because Martian spatecraft were
recently spotted near Pasadena and are
reportedly heading this way.
2. Theyask you if you've heard that the
Chicago Bears' defence are gay?
3. They eht nothing Wt nails and crushed
glass for several days and claim they are
on the "Joan Collin's Wonder Diet."
4. They claim explorers have discovered
from
this
angle
liV
iiionnimemm
Patrick Raftis
the Fatifitain of Youth in some remote
country, but the information is being sur -
pressed by the makers of "Wrinkle
Begone".
5. They say to you in a hushed voice,
"EMs isn't really dead, you know?"
I°recently saw the publisher of a
tabloid tvdhich shall remain nameless ex-
cept to say it is a "National" publication,
with an "Enquiring" nature) in a televi-
sion interview. He explained that his
publication does not vouch for the ac-
curacy of all their printed matter. They
only promise that whateyer is printed,
you can be sure that someone (possibly
the office boy) has said it
Several years ago, the Harva d Lam-
poon gang attempted to pull one their
famous magazine satires on a well -know
tabloid. While the idea worked well in the
past with such reputable magazines as
Sports Illustrated and People; the dif-
ference between the satirical bogus
tabloid and the real thing was undiscer-
nable. While the far-fetched stories in the
Lampoon edition were indeed ridiculous,
they could easily have been pulled from
any issue of any number of real tabloids.
That should tell you something.
No doubt some people will continue to
keep these printers of nonsense in• • ,
business by purchasing their questionable
'wares. Hopefully though, more people
will continue to purchase tabloid 'jour-"
nalisrn, than will buy it.
t
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