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HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1987-10-07, Page 12Page 12—CLINTON NEWS -RECORD, WEDNESDAY. OCTOBER 7 1987 IN TRANSIT - AN INNOVATIVE NEW PROJECT Youth Centre program aims to help kids through divorce By Shelley McPhee Haist ('LINTON - When a husband and wife divorce, it not only means the end of a mar- riage. Divorce also means the end of family life as it is traditionally known. "or children this end can be devestating. In an effort to ease the pain and confusion that divorce brings to children, The Huron - Perth Centres for Children and Youth is run- ning an innovative new program in Clinton. "In Transit" will raun as a group session on a weekly basis, being held on Thursday nights at Ontario Street United Church, .Clinton, from 7 to 8:30 p.rn. It begins on Oc- tober 15 and will run for six weeks. , "In 'Transit" is geared to 12 to 14 year olds and will pay particular attention to their questions and concerns about divorce in their families. Don Keillor, director of the Huron -Perth ('entre in Clinton said that ,ntprest in the program has been evidenced over the past several years. It is now being made available through the leadership of two specially trainees counsellors, Anne Newby and Janie Gattinger. The airs of "In Transit" is to shorten the time of emotional upheaval that children of divorced parents suffer. Mr. Keillor sug- gested that the program does not profess to avoid such emotional upsets in children, but works to alleviate the pain. "When marriages dissolve there is usual- ly a period when the children are upset," Mr. Keillor explained. "This is often mask- ed. The children don't let on that there are problems, but it is often seen in school when their achievement levels drop off." Mr. Keillor noted that it is a natural development, for children to be upset by their parents' divorce. However, he sug- gested, "Problems can loom very large in a chilrl'c mind. When problemq are put away. they become very large, . when they're unveilled, they become less scary." "In Transit" will endeavor to ease some of the fears, the problems, the insecurities that children have. The program aims to reach children at a level where they feel comfortable enough to talk about their concerns. Often children won't share such feelings with their parents, but they respond to a listener who is outside of the family circle. Divorce is harder on kids than death of parents Divorce can have a more long-lasting and devastating effect un children than the death of a parent. a Montreal psychiatrist Dr. ..lean -Francois Saucier reports that 1 h c hilllren caught in the stresses of parental divorce and the constant conflict that often follows it have a "gloomier" outlook for their own future lives. '11hc as�uinption was that when you lose 47. 1 parent completely ( through death ) it tuul,l he worse," he said. The tragedy for children caught up in parents splitting is the conflict that can go on sur tears, he said. -Sometimes parents are divorced for 10 scars ,irid still fighting like mad and when tht' t ry to get the child on their side, that is the worst thing." The most critical age for damage to children through divorce is between six and lune tears for girls and 12 to 15 for buts. Saucier said. (:iris, he said, seem to Ire aware earlier in life of "the terrible flint; that is happening" when parents lit uric. 1 n London recently to speak to the an- nual meeting of the Canadian Academy of child Psychiatry, Saucier said that couples thinking of divorce must first off realize that their children will be hurt in the process so they must be prepared to keep tabs on them afterward for signs of depression that might be manifested through falling school performance or loss of friends. It is not true that children will automatically come around a year or two after the divorce, he said, stressing the need for immediate intervention if signs of problems surface. Above all, parents must avoid trying to "get the child on their side," he said. "Don't involve the children in your fight .. keep the fight among the adults." Nor, he said, should one spouse start asking a child later what he or she thinks of a new man or woman on the scene. Regardless of which parent has custody of the child it is wise for contact to he maintained with both parents "because the child is loyal to both." It is also important not to try to force a child into accepting a new husband or wife as a parent, he said. Girls seem to do best with their mothers after a divorce, but boys seem to do equal- ly well with the mother or father, he said "When they talk to someone, it's a relief. They no longer feel isolated, like they're the only kids in the world with separated parents. They find that their problems are normal and they put things in a more human and realistic light," Mr. Keillor said. Divorce is a difficult situation for children to deal with. Many react in different ways. A child's imagination is a vivid one, and often misunderstandings and between parents build up in a child's mind. Some children feel that they are to blame for the separation of their parents. Others feel trapped between the emotional tension of their parents. Some children become con- fused about which parent is right and which is wrong. They don't know who to side with. They don't who to blame. Even the most co-operative, the most Over 600 CI,INTON - For more than 10 years now, the Huron -P'er'th Centres for Children and Youth have been working for children, for adults, for families. This past year alone, more than 8,000 visits were made to the Clinton, Stratford and Listowel offices. More than 600 families were served, and staff conducted more than 4,000 counselling sessions. The figures ex- ceeded projections for the year. John Patterson, president of the board of directors of the Huron -Perth Centres, told an audience at the annual meeting of the Centres, "The good work is never finished; there is still a great deal yet to be done." Mr. Patterson, who also workls as Superindent of Schools for the Perth County Board of Education served over the past year as president of the board for the youth centres. The non-profit corporation provides mental health services for children, youth and their families. First established in Clin- ton in 1986, the agency now has a Perth Cen- tre in Straford where family services have been offered for some two years. Mr Patterson in his annual message, commented on the wide range of services that the centres provide. "The staff of the Centres, under the capable leadership of Don Keillor, are offer- ing a wide range of services to support families and to assist service providers who are concerned about the social, emotional and behavioral adjustment of children and youth. Assessment, family therapy and counselling, discussion and support through small groups, mediation, research and publication, professional consultation, in- volvement with inter -agency initiatives — these are just some of the ways that our ex- cellent staff provide both direct and indirect service. Our board of directors is gratified BUSINESS AND PROFESSIONAL DIRECTORY Phone: 482-7741 GLASS / ALUMINUM See us for your building projects •Glass and Mirrors •Energy Efficient Replacement Windows *Seamless Eavestroughing •Complete Range of Aluminum or Vinyl Siding and Building Products •Window and Screen Repairs "Door Service and Repairs COMMERCIAL AND RESIDENTIAL clintorl 01,k00 24 Princess St. West, CLINTON 482-3322 DEMOLITION SERVICE .. - DON NICKEL r',/,A,14 ft FWE OfMOCIrIONOF COME BUIUDINGS VANASTRA DEMOLITION `,c'rc LAIIZING IN DEMOLITION OF HOUSES 8 BARNS REASONABLE RATFS IJSF0 BUILDING MATERIALS SEASONAL HARDWOOD A\ All ABI F IN BUSH OR FACE CORD ',,i, A✓ANASTRA P R 5 CLINTON P 482-5533 Rps 482-7451 I SATIPIG ✓....:a: CNDIT! 1 . 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BELL OPTOMETRIST The Square, GODERICH 524-7661 JOHN LONGSTAFF OPTOMETRIST Seaforth 527-1240 Monday. Tuesday, Thursday, Friday 9:00 - 5:30 Saturday 9:00 - 12:00 noon Closed Wednesdays BY APPOINTMENT Free parking on premises Clinton Electric Thrt p iwut t Appliances Sales & Service APPYCA.NCE R,EPACRS TO ALL MAKES Eloctrlcal MointOnonc® Woolrty 'moor. Sp®clalo Sow Er,c Schollonin®rgor 90 Allton St., Clinton 482-3646 JOHN WISE INSURANCE BRIFKEPS 1.38. General insurance Guaranteed Investments Clinton Office: 482-3401 Res.: 482-7265 APPLIANCE and REFRIGERATION REPAIR SERVICE Jim fir e adfoot 482 7032 understanding of parents can have children with emotional problems when divorce becomes part of their lives. Program leader Anne Newby says that "In Transit" will work to re -affirm trust and stability in a child's mind with regards to their family situation. It will emphasize the strengths of their parents and their lives, not the weaknesses or the trauma of divorce. The program will use such things as art and play activities, movies and group discussions to talk about divorce and its ef- fects on the family. "It's not.like you drop your kids off and we fix them." she noted. However she en- couraged that "In Transit" has a proven record. Innovative programs of this nature are being offered in some five areas in North America. The Family Services of Toronto initiated the "In Transit" program that is being offered in Clinton, A similar one is be- ing offered through the Huron Centre offices in Stratford. "We're right on the cutting edge of what's being done here," Mr. Keillor noted. It is anticipated that some eight parents and their children will take part in the first "In Transit" program to be offered in Clin- ton. If enough interest is shown, a compa- nion session will be set up for non-custodial parents. A babysitting service will also be offered at the church. For more information on "In 'Transit" and other services offered by the Huron -Perth Centres for Children and Youth. call 482-3931. amides are helped by the commitment of the staff ui our cen- tres — a commitment to have families rediscover their own strengths — a commit- ment to provide relief for the immediate distress of a child or a teenager — and a com- mitment to improve the well-being of the family as a whole." Programs offered a the Huron -Perth Cen- tres include individual and family counsell- ing. Other programs offered included - to help minimize the impact on children of parental separation and divorce to improve general parenting skills to decrease family violence to help parents reach agreement on custody and access matters to help isolated and distressed young people. Plans for the future include the renovation of Clinton offices, establishing a new office in Listowel,. and more on-site services in secondary schools. Currently individual counselling is offered at Central Huron Secondary School in Clinton. In his address to the annual meeting, Mr Patterson said that the Huron -Perth Centres for Children and Youth share the views of Laurier L. Pierre. In "1'o Herald A Child, he wrote, "We are not living in an unfeeling society'.. Many among us are concerned about children and feel an obligation about these concerns. We, therefore recognize that children, like adults, have needs, but unlike adults, children must have assistance before their needs can be satisfied: for this, they need the help from adults." 3flea fliarkrt HWY. 4, KIPPEN OPEN DAILY 9 - 5 EXCEPT: CLOSED MONDAYS VENDORS WELCOME FREE ADMISSION For Information Call 482-5759 We sell fresh eggs, syrup, china, antiques, furniture. old tools, etc. WE BUY ABOVE ITEMS OUTRIGHT Are your steps safe for this winter? GORD'S WELDING offers decorative, sturdy IRON RAILINGS Competitively priced! 3 main styles plus many variations. 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