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Showcase '87 Page ti
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Sharing expenses is now
common between families
It's traditional for the parents of the
bride to cover the entire cost of a cou-
ple's wedding. But according to Bride's
magazine, this situation is changing.
For the first time, there's a definite
trend toward the sharing of wedding ex-
penses, says Bride's. The groom's fami-
ly, as well as the bride and groom
themselves, are taking on a chunk of the
financial responsibility.
One reason for this may be changing
attitudes toward the nature of marriage.
In the era of liberation, a bride's parents
are no longer considered to be "marry-
ing off" their daughter. Rather, the wed-
ding is seen as the joining of two people,
and two families, with everyone con-
tributing to the festivities.
A second reason is frankly economic:
The cost of a formal wedding these days,
according to a 1984 Bride's Reader Pro-
file Study, runs on average around
$6,009. (It can go as high as $1O-$15,000 in
some urban areas.)
Rather than cut back on their idea of
the perfect celebration, many couples
and their families are instead finding
new ways to meet the expenses.
Especially where the bride and groom
are on their own and earning money
themselves (increasingly common as the
average age for marriage goes up), it
only makes sense for them to pitch in.
The actual dividing up of the costs can
be done in several ways. An easy, tactful
method that Bride's recommends is to
settle on specific expenses in advance,
rather than to just split the cost of the
whole wedding down the middle.
For instance, the groom's family
might agree to cover the flowers, the
music d the liquor. They would then
discusshe general budget for these
items with the couple and have the bills
sent directly to them.
The eliminates the need for money
changing hands or for further talking
about costs between families.
An alternative idea would be for one
family to pay for the ceremony (flowers,
church rental, limousines), the other to
pick up the reception tab. Each family
then has complete jurisdiction over their
part of the celebration.
There are many possible arrangements
and the options should be discussed open-
ly and early m the engagement, so an
agreeable plan can be worked out.
It's also important to remember, says
Bride's, that it's still the prerogative of
the bride's family to decline an offer of
help if they wish. If this happens, the
groom's family can celebrate the
mariage in another way, such as hosting
the rehearsal dinner or thrpwing an
engagement party.
Incidentally, the idea of sharing wed-
ding expenses is not really a new one. In
many countries, the practice has been
followed for centuries. For instance, in
Spain, fathers of the bride and groom
traditionally issue the invitations and
host the wedding together.
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