HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1986-02-19, Page 51ousisimowimasaasimospopiamaaviaiiwala
Counselling,
from page 29 finish
treadmill called process. "They
school, get a job and gel:.niarried just
.because they think it's time.
Penn agrees. "A lot of people see mar-
riage as a solution. It moves them into
adulthood. It is seen as an endpoint when
in reality, getting married is just the
dm beginning of a whole lot of issues."
Expectations
Penn says when people enter into mar-
riage, they bring a lot of expectations
with them. They can even do this un-
consciously.
"You bring into the marriage ideas
about who men and women are, what
their roles should be and what the mar-
riage should be like," he says.
Expectations are often based on how
one was raised and that's why McCafferY
doesn't think that couples staying
together "for the sake of the children is
a valid reason for a marriage to con-
tinue.
"Children growing up in unhappy
families often learn poor relationship
skills. Even if a couple doesn't argue m
front of the children, they are not show-
ing them positive interaction either. Stay-
ing together for the sake of the children
is just an excuse for a person not to have
to come to terms with his or her situa-
tion," she says.
When a couple first comes to New
Beginnings for counselling, McCafferY
and Penn both see them in order to
assess who will be able to counsel them
most effectively. Once this is determined,
both partners are then seen together in the
sessions that follow.
"If you see couples sep whe other
one
ippartner starts wondering what
partner and the counsellor have said
about him or her. It inhibits the process,"
explains McCaffery.
She says a popular myth is that aafper-
son has to be "down in thedepths
despair" before going for counselling.
But many people just need a little help in
understanding changes they are going
through in themselves and in their rela-
tionships-
Despite the growing divorce rate, Mc-
Caffery remains optimistic that there can
be resolutions to many marital dif-
ficulties through skillful counselling.
"It doesn't always mean couples will
end up happily ever after together but at
least they can gain an understanding of
one another's needs."
Showease '86, page 3
Bridesmaids
It may not be at the top of your list but,
sometime in the near future it would be a wise
idea to consider insurance. Upon beginning
life together it is necessary to provide security
for one another in the best possible manner.
Consider these qualified Life & Auto
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"See me for all your
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from page 29
to read during the ceremony. Practice
passing the bouquet to your attendant.
Before the wedding, ask them for help
if you need it, in choosing your dress, ad-
dressing invitations and welcoming out-
of-town guests. Remember, though that
bridesmaids, as well as brides, are busy
with the details of their own lives. Don't
expect a total commitment to planning
your wedding.
Finally, try to find time to spend with
your bridesmaids. They're friends and
trelatives who, it's o be close to you after assumecd,
ceremony is but a fond memory. Many
bridesmaids complained to Bride's that
the bride was so engrossed in her plans
and parties that she wasn't interested in
thein anymore.
Sensitivity is the key to handling Bride
aspects of planning your wedding.
should be sensitive to the fact that even
e
to ride roughshod overher friends.
gallow on
ARNOLD J.�,STI1N\NISSEN
LIFE \U 1
DEFERRED 1\\1 MES
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Plain talk about life insurance
London
8 -Life
JOHN PRESTON
482.5040
James FrOrr
—LIFE INSURANCE BROKER-
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BANTER & Mac EWAN
INSURANCE BROKERS. LTD.
12 Victoria Street, South
Goderich 524-8.