HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1986-02-19, Page 36to—
Showcase '86, page 16
snow,
Realities of marriagecan get lost inconfetti
9
BY SUSAN HUNDERTMARK
Marriage is serious business. It's a
lifetime commitment with its share of both
sorrow and joy. It's a joining of two people
who must cope together with their
strengths, weaknesses, desires, ambitions,
goals, values, finances, sex, children and
family and all other aspects of daily life.
But,•too often the realities of marriage
get lost in the confetti and glitter of a wed-
ding, which is really only one day out of a
lifetime, says Father Joseph Hardy, of St.
Peter's Roman Catholic Church in
Goderich.
That's why Father Hardy expects the
couples he marries to take marriage
preparation courses. In fact, the Roman
Catholic Church has been offering mar-
riage courses for the past 40 years. But,
the church's increased insistence on
courses has resulted from growing divorce
statistices.
'.When couples corse to see me about
getting mar'r'ied, the first thing I ask is
'How much longer do you think you'll
live?' 'They usually say 50 or 60 years so 1
remind them that their vows say, 'All the
days of our life,—says Father Hardy.
„When I marry thein, I presume they'll
stay married. So, if they don't see mar-
riage preparation as important, I have to
worry about what they do see. They may
see a wedding as one tremendous game,"
he says.
Because marriage courses are not
available in Huron County, Father Hardy
offers two options to engaged couples.
They may attend five sessions covering
topics such as finances, legal aspects, con-
flict and conunitment, faith in marriage,
sexual intimacy and the family and values
in marriage at the Christian Renewal Cen-
tre in London for $25.
Rules for second -time -around w
Nearly 30 percent of all marriages to-
day are remarriages. But the nurnber of
remarriages isn't all that's growing. So is
the spirit of celebration.
Traditionally, couples embarking on se-
cond and third marriages faced strong
pressure to keep the wedding a small,
quiet affair bearing little resemblance to
a first wedding. Etiquette books address-
ed the subject with an abundance of
negatives: "The remarrying bridt,.does
not wear white" "a second engagement
is never announced in .the newspapers."
All that has changed, says Bride's
Z.
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magazine. The emphasis now is a lot less
on rules, a lot more on the importance of
sharing a joyful new beginning surround-
ed by family and friends.
Some of the magazine's suggestions for
a remarrying couple:
•As the bride, be a little bit selfish at
this tune. Wear an engagement ring. In-
dulge in a beauty day at the salon - com-
plete with lavish hair care, facial and
manicure.
•Feel free to marry in the outfit of your
choice. The traditionally simple, cream -
colored suit still is lovely - but so is a
of
i
WEDDING
TRADITIONS
11
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These sessions attempt to help a couple
deeperf its conunitrnent by exploring
various topics, discovering areas of con-
flict and skills to deal with them.
"We do not push beliefs at you but
rather encourage you to understand each
other and how your attitudes affect your
relationship," says the pamphlet.
Or, they may attend a weekend retreat
with Catholic Engaged Encounter in Lon-
don for $85.
The weekend retreat is designed to help
couples "concentrate exclusively on one
another, free of the tensions and pressures
and interruptipns of the world" and to
"give the couples planning ma;e an
opportunity to dialogue honest yy and inten-
•sively about their prospective lives
together."
Two Catholic couples and a priest run
the discussions after which couples
separate to write down a list of questions
to be answered and then come together to
read each other's answers.
"When a couple knows each other, they
presume they know what the other will
say. But, when they discuss what they've
put down on paper, they may find areas or
agreement or disagreement that they've
never talked about before," says Father
l -lardy.
The courses also emphasize how to
argue in a constructive way and why com-
munication is so important in a marriage.
They also talk about how the church or
faith in Gott eaters into a marriage but
couples don't have to be Roman Catholic to
take the courses.
Often Father Hardy sees that couples
who are most interested in marriage
preparation courses are the best can -
Tura to page 17
eddings are changing
romantically long and lacy .gown, in party as you wish, complete with all the
white or your favorite color. The only ac-
cessory best omitted is the veil - long a
symbol of youth. A more sophisticated
choice might be a hat, cloche or wreath
of flowers.
•If either of you has children, try to in-
clude them in as many plans as you can.
They'll feel especially important playing
a role in your ceremony. Depending on
their ages, they can be ring bearers or
flower girls, bridesmaids, ushers or
honor attendants.
•Make your reception as extravagant a
wedding traditions — a receiving line, the
first dance, the ceremonial cutting of the
cake and a champagne toast. A warm
way to welcome guests is to head up the
receiving line yourselves, rather than
leaving it to your parents. They, in turn,
will be free to circulate among guest.
•Don't feel a honeymoon isn't
necessary this tune around. Getting mar-
ried is tiring, even if you've been through
it before. Plan a trip just for the two of
you first, then a group honeymoon with
your children so you'll all feel like a
family.
Bridal Photography
The latest appreciation in wedding
photography, is to have your wedding
professionally recorded on to live action
video tape.
I.special.ize in wedding photography and
invite you to juin the fun, colour and ex-
citement of the video revolulinn.
William Mason
Studio of Photography
Exeter 235-0134
SEAF0RTH
RESTAURANT & STEAK HOUSE
5 MAIN STREET, SEAFORTH
BOOK YOUR
WEDDING PARTY
In our brand new private dining room.
Phone 527-1020
SUNDAY BRUNCH
9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. 4 ��
ALL YOU CAN EAT •