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HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1986-02-19, Page 36to— Showcase '86, page 16 snow, Realities of marriagecan get lost inconfetti 9 BY SUSAN HUNDERTMARK Marriage is serious business. It's a lifetime commitment with its share of both sorrow and joy. It's a joining of two people who must cope together with their strengths, weaknesses, desires, ambitions, goals, values, finances, sex, children and family and all other aspects of daily life. But,•too often the realities of marriage get lost in the confetti and glitter of a wed- ding, which is really only one day out of a lifetime, says Father Joseph Hardy, of St. Peter's Roman Catholic Church in Goderich. That's why Father Hardy expects the couples he marries to take marriage preparation courses. In fact, the Roman Catholic Church has been offering mar- riage courses for the past 40 years. But, the church's increased insistence on courses has resulted from growing divorce statistices. '.When couples corse to see me about getting mar'r'ied, the first thing I ask is 'How much longer do you think you'll live?' 'They usually say 50 or 60 years so 1 remind them that their vows say, 'All the days of our life,—says Father Hardy. „When I marry thein, I presume they'll stay married. So, if they don't see mar- riage preparation as important, I have to worry about what they do see. They may see a wedding as one tremendous game," he says. Because marriage courses are not available in Huron County, Father Hardy offers two options to engaged couples. They may attend five sessions covering topics such as finances, legal aspects, con- flict and conunitment, faith in marriage, sexual intimacy and the family and values in marriage at the Christian Renewal Cen- tre in London for $25. Rules for second -time -around w Nearly 30 percent of all marriages to- day are remarriages. But the nurnber of remarriages isn't all that's growing. So is the spirit of celebration. Traditionally, couples embarking on se- cond and third marriages faced strong pressure to keep the wedding a small, quiet affair bearing little resemblance to a first wedding. Etiquette books address- ed the subject with an abundance of negatives: "The remarrying bridt,.does not wear white" "a second engagement is never announced in .the newspapers." All that has changed, says Bride's Z. // Ir tpo iMA* .„.✓ from... temember \G magazine. The emphasis now is a lot less on rules, a lot more on the importance of sharing a joyful new beginning surround- ed by family and friends. Some of the magazine's suggestions for a remarrying couple: •As the bride, be a little bit selfish at this tune. Wear an engagement ring. In- dulge in a beauty day at the salon - com- plete with lavish hair care, facial and manicure. •Feel free to marry in the outfit of your choice. The traditionally simple, cream - colored suit still is lovely - but so is a of i WEDDING TRADITIONS 11 Antiques .and Collectibles Something: Old - Antiques & Collectibles New - Giftware & Tableware Borrowed - Reproductions from the past Blue -Jewellery & Graniteware FREE GIFT ...every 1986 bride shopping at "Remember When" will receive a free gift. s;7r► 170 Dinsley Street, West BLYTH 523-9554 rr Atem r % These sessions attempt to help a couple deeperf its conunitrnent by exploring various topics, discovering areas of con- flict and skills to deal with them. "We do not push beliefs at you but rather encourage you to understand each other and how your attitudes affect your relationship," says the pamphlet. Or, they may attend a weekend retreat with Catholic Engaged Encounter in Lon- don for $85. The weekend retreat is designed to help couples "concentrate exclusively on one another, free of the tensions and pressures and interruptipns of the world" and to "give the couples planning ma;e an opportunity to dialogue honest yy and inten- •sively about their prospective lives together." Two Catholic couples and a priest run the discussions after which couples separate to write down a list of questions to be answered and then come together to read each other's answers. "When a couple knows each other, they presume they know what the other will say. But, when they discuss what they've put down on paper, they may find areas or agreement or disagreement that they've never talked about before," says Father l -lardy. The courses also emphasize how to argue in a constructive way and why com- munication is so important in a marriage. They also talk about how the church or faith in Gott eaters into a marriage but couples don't have to be Roman Catholic to take the courses. Often Father Hardy sees that couples who are most interested in marriage preparation courses are the best can - Tura to page 17 eddings are changing romantically long and lacy .gown, in party as you wish, complete with all the white or your favorite color. The only ac- cessory best omitted is the veil - long a symbol of youth. A more sophisticated choice might be a hat, cloche or wreath of flowers. •If either of you has children, try to in- clude them in as many plans as you can. They'll feel especially important playing a role in your ceremony. Depending on their ages, they can be ring bearers or flower girls, bridesmaids, ushers or honor attendants. •Make your reception as extravagant a wedding traditions — a receiving line, the first dance, the ceremonial cutting of the cake and a champagne toast. A warm way to welcome guests is to head up the receiving line yourselves, rather than leaving it to your parents. They, in turn, will be free to circulate among guest. •Don't feel a honeymoon isn't necessary this tune around. Getting mar- ried is tiring, even if you've been through it before. Plan a trip just for the two of you first, then a group honeymoon with your children so you'll all feel like a family. Bridal Photography The latest appreciation in wedding photography, is to have your wedding professionally recorded on to live action video tape. I.special.ize in wedding photography and invite you to juin the fun, colour and ex- citement of the video revolulinn. William Mason Studio of Photography Exeter 235-0134 SEAF0RTH RESTAURANT & STEAK HOUSE 5 MAIN STREET, SEAFORTH BOOK YOUR WEDDING PARTY In our brand new private dining room. Phone 527-1020 SUNDAY BRUNCH 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. 4 �� ALL YOU CAN EAT •