HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1985-12-18, Page 38Sexual dry Spells
Continued from page 4 CURES FOR THE
DRY SPELL
helps here., So does talking it ow Looking to wash that dry spell
with a friend, lover or ` out of your life'? The experts
professional. suggest
Then there's anxiety. Like
boredom, it can rear its head on
either side of the bedroom door.
When it's inside anxiety (also
dubbed performance anxiety),
for a man, it's agonizing about
getting (or maintaining or
faking) an erection. For a
woman, it's agonizing about
avoiding pregnancy, becoming .
aroused or reaching an orgasm.
If each orgasm is becoming an
ordeal lately, it's important to
realize that a lot of cares might
anish if you could somehow be
re relaxed and laid-back and
ss reluctant in bed.
Also try to exchange your
"musts" fair "it would be nice
ifs." Keep your wishes as
preferences instead of iron -clad
,l requirements.
Other anxieties can also erode
your passion. A certain amount
of agitation begins because
women rarely go to bed simply
out of lust. They go to bed for
love. Women can sometimes be
worried when they do have good
sex because they're afraid of
getting emotionally involved.
Rather than risk falling for Mr.
Wrong, some women prefer to
dose up or fail sexually. .
Even those anxieties that
occur completely outside the
bedroom can create interference.
Career demands and work
overload figure heavily.
Taking a vacation from sex to
re-route your energy is a popular
motivation and a positive one. A
period of self-induced chastity
can give you a welcome respite
from the worries, pressures and
commitment of a more involved
• relationship (particularly
important after a break-up).
The 'dry spell also allows you
Oassess yourself and work on
lf-improvement and new
projects without worrying about
pleasing someone else.
Many women find six months
of chastity rewarding because it
helps them concentrate on
writing that novel, changing that
career or simply thinking things
over,
An unpremeditated dry -spell,
which seems to move in from
nowhere, is useful as a
barometer. In fact. when. it
happens to a once lusty lady,
this lack of passion may be
Mother Nature's way of sending
a telegram: "incipient illness
ahead. Proceed with caution."
But while this sudden
disinterest may sometimes
indicate that a bodily 'ailment is
brewing, by itself, a steady diet
of chastity won't cause poor •
health, rot your teeth or shorten
your life expectancy.
However, if you have
currently been chaste for several
months, don't chew your
fingernails over it. Being aware
of the condition gives you a
certain control. Besides, each
person has his or her own •
timetable for everything. Sex,
when you finally do engage in
it, may very well be better than
a er your.celibate stage is
ded.
1. Confide in a friend and/or
consult a therapist, especially if
your sexual aridity has lasted
over a year.
2. Spend time with attractive,
stimulating potential partners.
3. Immerse yourself in erotica
4. Write down your most
riveting fantasy.
5. Masturbate.
6. Douse yourself with
cologne and wear silky fabrics
next to your skin. Aim to arouse
all your senses.
7. Try new things when
you're making love or being
obliging. Why not whisper
something wicked?
8. Leave your TV locked
away. Focus on his body, his
eyes instead.
9. Scribble a naughty note
describing, in delicious detail,
how he should turn you on, even
if you don't mail it.
10. Schedule a sexy session
with him — and keep the
appointment.
11. Take a romantic vacation a
deux or take separate vacations.
(The reunion itself might be
worth it.)
12. Realize that dry spells
don't end spontaneously. Seduce
a new (or current) lover. After a
period of chastity, lovemaking is
usually better than ever. ■
Regional Value Spotter, December 18, 1985
Page 5
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