Clinton News-Record, 1985-12-18, Page 37,4-4 Regi.+ ntt1i(ak Spsftter, Peceni
1985.
Sexual Dr
aybe this has
happened to you. For
a while your sex life
is simply wonderful,
your lover is
interesting and
sensitive. Nonetheless, you
realize you're gradually losing
that loving feeling. The prospect
of spending an afternoon
experimenting in bed is now as
exciting to you as having your
teeth cleaned by the dentist.
What's a dry spell? Doctors
define it as an interval during
which people either have no sex
or merely perfunctory
unsatisfying bouts of it.
Certain experiences make you
re-evaluate your sexual behavior.
Some women react to these by
developing a cumulative feeling
that the hassles involved with
sex and intimacy are just not
worth it.
How can you recognize an
approaching dry spell? A distinct
drop-off in your desire, even for
Robert Redford look-alikes, is a
major clue. Other signs include
nerves on edge, a tired feeling
(not due to lack of sleep),
hair -triggered irritability, a
sudden disinterest in your
appearance, friends or weekend
plans.
Although chastity has no time
limits, I'm talking about the
short-term variety (a few months
to a few years) that takes away
the spice, temporarily, for some
people.
By itself or combined with
poor physical health, fatigue is
sometimes responsible for
sabotaging your responsiveness.
It is not unheard of for women
who have been ill or who have
just'had babies not to feel like
having intercourse for one or
two years afterwards.
Still, being tired creates less
of a problem if you just admit it.
Too often, women get tired of
saying, "I'm tired," so they
invent excuses:. "Why didn't
you brush your teeth first?" or
"Why do you handle me so
roughly?"' and other subterfuges.
By the time the woman has
physically recovered, she has to
begin nursing her lover's ego
back to emotional health.
A man who is rejected several
times in succession invariably
becomes angry and paranoiac.
Touching, however, keeps a
couple in touch. Being
affectionately tactile has a
built-in bonus for the stroker,
too. Since it helps keep a
relationship alive, that makes it
esier for the chaste partner to
become the active participant
when she's well again.
Now and then, a woman who
sighs, "Not tonight. I'm tired"
may be signaling that she's tired
of her lover, or of their
predictable sexual routine.
However, for many couples,
the major problem may be habit.
But no matter how boring the
man may be, a woman tends to
think, "It's my fault." The
thing to remember is that it's
probably not your fault. The
fault is usually lack of variety.
If you've lost interest in sex
because of bedroom boredom,
here's a cure you can bank on:
experiment. Doctors say they
can't stress this enough. It's
unfair, though, to expect lovers
to read minds. You're
co -responsible for making those
special requests.
Presumably, then, if you
voice your uesires and your
Romeo answers the call, the
bedroom boredom will go away.
Yes, unless those yawns were
generated not by your positions,
but by your partner.
Are you hot for others but
cool to your current darling's
embraces? Bingo! You've hit the
boredom button. It's time for I)
a little self-analysis, 2) a
heart-to-heart talk with your
soul -mate or possibly 3) a new
sweetie.
A few experts completely
discount the boredom theory,
arguing that disinterest in sex
only disguises other reasons —
anger and a need to get even. In
"The Second Sex," Simone de
Beauvoir calls resentment ,"the
most common source of
feminine frigidity. In bed, the
woman punishes the male for all
the wrongs she feels she has
endured."
New Year's Eve
"Make This Party
A Special One"
5 p.m. - Reserve Now For Our Special Early Evening
Menu and Be Free by 7 O'Clock
8 p.m. - Choose from 2 Carefully Selected 5 Course
Dinners of Finest Cuisine
C71.:
OW E
(C37
Dancing Till 2 a.m.
Plenty'of Party Favor
,Limited Tickets
on Sale Now
Plenty of Free Parking
On The North Bank of the Thames
Just Over the Bridge - No. 1 York St., London
Full Licensed .519 672-01
Sells
However, several doctors say
that it's hard for some women to
realize they'r. angry, or why.
Anguish can occur because of
what your partner does as well
as -because of what' he or she
doesn't do. It may be not the
absence of orgasm that's
unfulfilling, but another lack,
such as a lack of empathy or
tenderness, which was sought
but not achieved.
What you might be missing in
your relationship is a certain
amount of "fellow feeling."
And, sorry, you get no points
asir-
By LindaAnn 1,oschiavo
for sufferin('in silence. Stoicism
won't help fill the gap or make
you less angry.
Look what happens when you
mix ire with desire. No matter
how skilled the lover, a sexual
gymnast does not equal a loving,
concerned p,rtner, and your
reaction may be: "Is that all
there is?" Then follows a
feeling that it's just not worth
making love.
To overcome this sexual
apathy, the first step is to
identify and unleash the fury.
Completing the statement "I feel
angry when..." helps some
people recognize the ernotionai
sore spot, while talking out their
indignation helps others.
Yet another sexual appetite
suppressor is depression, a close
cousin► to anger. A good dose of
the mopes can wash even the
most ardent lust down the drain.
To detennine your depression
quotient, weigh your appetite for
sex against other appetites (for
food, alcohol, tobacco, going
out, etc.) and see if you notice
any parallels.
Staying home alone and
polishing off a''whole pizza or n
cheesecake can be a warning
that you're on the brink. Sudden
chain-smoking can be a tip-off
as well. As with rage and
boredom, a little self-analysis
Please turn to page 5
DRESSES
GOATS
SPORTS
398 RICHMOND ST., LONDON
(opposite Simpsons) 432-5485
Mf
'
'
z
ii.
Set Yourself Apart.
Nothing, lifts you out of the ordinary like an extra-
ordinary vehicle.
And the 1986 Suzuki Samurai rises above all the
ordinary economy cars that are in its price range
because of its extra -ordinary versatility.
A smooth -shifting 5 speed transmission is standard. ,
As is a peppy 13 litre engine. All -season radial tires.
And power assisted front disc brakes. Combine these
with the ability to shift from 2 to 4 wheel drive while
you're on the go, and a Samurai will take you to places
where economy cars would fear to tread.
Inside, the fit and finish show the attention to detail
that goes into every Samurai. Four people can be accom-
modated comfortably. The plush front bucket seats
are scientifically contoured and fully reclining, and the
passenger seat slides forward as it folds to allow easy
access to the real:
Quality, comfort and functional good looks make
:the Samurai interior a driving pleasure inside... regard-
less of the terrain you're tackling outside!
The 1986 Suzuki Samurai. Isn't it time you set your-
self apart?And had a
little more driving fun?
Drive a new 1986 Suzuki Samurai.
*SUZUKI
Samurai has features making it useful for 'off road' as well as 'on road' driving 1'hrs off passenger ear lust as a 'low slung' sports car is riot designed to perform well off road,
road capability makes the Samurai handle and maooeuver ddleren tly than an ordinary the Sanmurat is not designed to tomer at the same speed as a conventional passenger ear .
Suzuki Samurai sets you apart.
SUZUKI 416
HIGHBURY
odMill .ter wr a.,fs
8
974 Western Rd.
LONDON
N60 1G4
*SUZUKI
519
673-3315