Clinton News-Record, 1985-11-27, Page 39P'•
rig
-1 r
401.0111
p.iue S otter, Nevembot~ , ;985 P
Continued from. pap 10
ptd how to get along with your
eoiiaague:i. •
Pat, a lQngti:te executive
secretary, notes that yott can
help a co-worker advance
through persuasive, strategically
timed gossip:
"1 noticed that an employee
• was finishing a.lot of work that
'As irapossibleio do at the
office. As we were talking one
day, it came out that he was
doing most of the work at home,
unknown to anyone in charge.
.So I mentioned it to the boss,
and that person soon got a
raise."
Stay in touch; Chitchat places
you in direct contact with the
. world at large. Gossiping with
the right people can satisfy your
appetite to know what's going
on, and being well-informed
makes you much more
likteresting to others.
Keep your head on straight.
Gossip can serve as a catharsis
for ill will. Telling someone off
behind his, back, or savoring the
failure of an adversary, can get
rid of envy, jealousy, anger -;d
resentment without harming
anyone, provided your volcanic
spewings never go beyond your
confidant.
"Malicious gossip makes
people feel better," says Amy, a
hospital public relations
coordinator. "It turns life into a
big soap -opera."
Still, you'd better watch out
for gossip that backfires, as
often happens if it gets back to
its target. You're wise to
r wetnr that gossip travels•
Fast,
espeAttkwyen laced with
venom, Md that It coin tt ally
hurt and embarrass peQpJe.
Gossip tends to be dfbrmed
if it's recycledby too 934031
indifferent listeners_
Before tuou know it,. your
teetotaling new boss cion: be
regarded as a rampaging lush
and your hardworking boyfriend
as an unconscionable gigolo.
Some folks hear only what
they'd like to hear, or else they
exaggerate and fabricate with
abandon.
In a recent experiment,
Professor Levin observed just
how fanciful people can become
in the face of a rumor. He
distributed on campus hundreds
of flyers inviting the public to a
fictitious wedding between two
equally imaginary students.
From the questionnaire he
handed out a week later, he
found that half of those
questioned had heard about the.
wedding and that more
surprisingly, .12 percent actually
claimed to have attended the
occasion personally, even to the
extent that they could describe
the gown worn by the bride and
the gleaming black limousine
that carried the newlyweds
away.
In a different study, Levin
came across findings that went
very much against popular
beliefs about gossip. He
dispatched two students to
eavesdrop on conversations in
the university student lounge,
five hours a day for 10 weeks.
The tasuhing, survey show
that t'ertthles. gosstl.'fi•
slightly tore that m
third SOO. it also vl,
that,. Weerall, .the gossip: -
overheard was more positive
than negative. •
"That shatlered`the stereotype
that: women are tttlte only
gossip-nilongers and the notion
that most gossip is negative,"
says the professor.
But what should you do if you
hear gossip about yourself?
Suppose a manipulative
co-worker is spreading bitchy or
damaging innuendo about you.
You could quietly let the
indiscretion pass, the theory
being that to acknowledge the
rumor would lend it credence.
On the other hand, silence could
imply guilt.
Your best bet is to get your
version told. Trace the gossip to
its origins, confront its source
and coolly rebut it. If you can.
.GOSSIP WITH STYLE, SENSITIVITY
Since gossip remains so
irrepressibly popular, the
question is not really whether we
should gossip — because we
will — but how we should go
about it.
If you're going to gossip, you
Might as well do it with style,
savvy and common sense.
Here are some tips on what it
takes to be a first-class gossip:
Be tastefully discreet. Other
people will entrust you with
gossip, or put stock in yours,
once you've demonstrated a
sense of restraint, judgment and
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