HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1985-11-27, Page 36ft'
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,
by Robert Ilrod1,
hroughout history,
finger -wagging scolds
have warned us that
gossiping is taboo,
nothing more than
malicious recreation for
the petty, the jealous and the
vindictive. Long linked with
slander and scandal, gossip
carries a bad name.
It's true that gossip is very
much like confetti — easy to
throw around if you want to
leave a mess. At it's vicious
worst,. gossip can bruise
emotions, shatter reputations,
ruin careers, dnve away friends,
family and lovers.
What people say about you
behind your back signifies, for
better or worse, your standing in
the community.
"Gossip is universal," says
Jack Levine, sociology professor
who specializes in the study of
gossip. "Gossip has not changed
in the history of the human
race."
Nothing but tape over the lips
will stop people from murmuring
about a sizzling affair, a
marriage on the rocks or newly
disclosed unspeakable acts.
Why do we gossip? What
compels us all to inform on each
other? It's addicting because it's
easy .for• anyone with a myth
and: ears w de. Ws safer than
skiing and it's as satisfying as a
gourmet feast,
We also gossip to convey
information, to feed our intense
curiosity about how others live
and to act out a kind of
intoxicating voyeurism.
According to one wag, "Gossip
is vice enjoyed vicariously."
In the quest for status,
prestige and power, gossip can
be handed around much like
money. Gossip lets you play
puppeteer and pull a few strings.
"More than anything," says
Joe, a publishing executive,
"the person you're telling the
juicy rumor to thinks you're au
courant."
"People gossip to get
attention," says Frederick
Koenig, a social psychology
professor with scholarly
expertise in gossip. "If you
want to make an impression,
gossip gives you a place in the
sun for a short time,"
On the whole, people gossip
to get ahead, both socially and
professionally. That's why it's
often the least popular people
who circulate rumors, especially
the odious kind — they're trying
to gain importance.
"It's very rare for people at •
the top to engage in petty
gossip," says lt.oemg.."11's also
interesting that we get more
mileae out of bad news than'
good."
Another reason we gossip is
to relieve deep-seated emotional
problems. For many people,
spilling a few tasty morsels
about, say, the randy goingsfon
in another household can
actuatly ease anxiety, release
tensioj3, overcome hostility,
combat boredom. A good gossip
session can fUricficin as therapy.
letting you express W4111101
otherwise go unsaid.
Gossip also enables us to
examine our behavior and, hi so
doing, to establish morality. By
making public our opinions
about others: we're circulating
ideas about what's right and
what's wrong' Gossip confirms
or challenges our most basic
beliefs and, ultimately,
influences our feelings about
everything from love and sex to
work and manners.
By now it's clear that gossip,
contrary to its reputation,
involves much more than sniping
and backbiting. Gossip can be a
valuable positive tool if 'handled
correctly, offering you the
chance to:
Make new friends. In a recent
experiment at the University of
California at San Diego,
psychologists found out that
sbanng secrets made teller and
listener feel more favorably
toward each other. Swapping
confidences can form a bond
that leads to trust and intimacy.
• Do a better jab. if you're
' attuned to office scuttlebutt, you
can learn, indirectly, what kind
of work your boss expects from
you. By listening to casual
conversation, you can determine
unwritten policies about conduct
Please turn to page 13
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