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HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1985-11-20, Page 14Page 14--CLINTON NEWS RECORD WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 20 1985 Teeswater author, pork producer hasgone ' Wild" by Ran Wassiuk Gisele Ireland, Teeswater author and pork producer, hasn't gone hog wild, but her latest book, flog Wild has. Hog Wild is the third book written and published by Gisele. The latest book, as with Bumps in your Coveralls, shows the humourous side of rural living and the per- sonal experiences of a growing family. Though Gisele and her husband, Brian, alias, Super Wrench, are in the financial, , squeeze many Bruce County farmers are facing, she has still maintained a sense of humour while the world around her could collapse any time. A published columnist, Gisele's latest book includes columns which have ap- peared in the Western Ontario Farmer ( Ontario Farmer) and Rural Voice. Response to her books has told Gisele that rural and urbanites alike can relate to her personal anecdotes. Experiences of the Ireland family are similar to those ex- perienced by others, only Gisele is the first to write them down. What at first is embar- rassing or frustrating has become hilarious as she looks back at what hap- pened when the Ireland pup grew to a huge size, or the times she went to get parts at a machinery dealer and didn't know the female end of a hose from the male end. And then there's the time she had to pick up fingers for the swather. She didn't even know swathers had fingers. Every housewife has made the same last-minute trip to town for parts that were needed yesterday. Like Gisele, they soon learn what parts look like, even if the terms are somewhat misleading. "Another memorable encounter of the worst kind was when I was sent to buy a new tail pipe and muffler system for the farm truck. The instructions were written on a greasy piece of paper towelling. After the fingers routine, I wasn't going in un- prepared again. The mechanic brought me out the required pieces with a bill slightly over $80. I looked at the stuff on the counter and the bill in my hand and re- quested a new pipe for that price. The one HOG WILD is the latest book published by Teeswater author, Gisele Ireland. When she was interviewed by Herald -Times editor, Ron Wassink, she was working on a new book for children. The new book will deal with a young boy's experience on a farm after moving from the city. Hog Wild was released in July and is a compilation of columns written by Gisele. (Wassir,,k photo) he had brought out looked like an elephant had danced on it." Gisele goes on to write the parts man was having convulsions while trying to ex- plain that all exhaust systems were bent out of shape. Unfortunately, he phoned Super Wrench to relay the news while Gisele was on her way home. "I now take a few precautions when ap- proaching the parts department of . a machinery dealer. I never wear a skirt and la ANNUAL MEETING in the Clinton Town Hall Auditorium WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 27 AT 8:00 P.M. for the purpose of receiving reports and financial statements f'ar the year ending on September 30th, 1985 electing Directors and Credit Commit- tee officers, appointing auditors: for the purpose of amending By -Laws and of transacting all other business of an Annual Meeting. Lunch will follow the meeting. Door Prizes. Clinton Community CREDIT UNION 70 ONTARIO ST. CLINTON 482-3467 374 MAIN STREET SOUTH EXETER 235-0640 .i! K1184 2725 C.HiUW Stands out at harvest time Characterized by its red grain and exceptional bushel weight, K1184 has consistently proven to have the best standability in its maturity. It achieves top results under high plant populations 1984 PERFORMANCE DATA Yield Broken % Bu/Acre $/ stalks Moisture @ 15.5% Acre' Pride K1184 6.5 31.1 110 5 344 76 Pioneer 3949 12.4 27 9 109.4 346 80 Average of all varieties 10.4 295 963 303.35 Data collected, from Pride test plol program 'S/Acre based on $3 50/bu after drying costs Profit- from our IVew Num BOYD TAYLOR (519) 523-9279 jiggle around on high heels. It just jcreams novice. I put on a faded pair of eans, an old flannel shirt and liberally smear the front with grease from the shop floor. I find a cap, covered with grime, and put it on. I then swagger into the dealer's premises, defying anyone to take advan- tage of me. The point of this exercise is to appear as if you just crawled out from under whatever machine you are getting parts for. This Works only in places where I have not previously entertained the management and clientele. For those, I need HELP." Poor husband, Brian, carries the brunt of Gisele's wit in Hog'Wild. Super Wrench is featured in the opening chapter. Gisele explains he received his name because wrenches of different sizes and description are found in his clothing when it comes wash time. Like most farmers, Super Wrench also carries everything from nuts to bolts in his pockets. "When a wrench wasn't beating off the enamel of the sides of the washer or dryer, it was in the hands of the expert. Super Wrench always comes to the rescue with his tool. The application of a wrench to equipment or appliances either made it Gisele moved from Germany with her parents 27 years ago. Her parents moved to the U.S. after farming near Teeswater. One sister is married to a doctor, a brother is a computer programmer and two brothers farm. "And I ended up with Super Wrench," says Gisele with a chuckle. Experiencing a financial squeeze in the pork business, she says what she earns from her books and speaking engagements is putting food on the table. Last year she made more than 30 speaking engagements and this fall and winter proves to be as hec- tic. Gisele will open the Canadian National Farm Women's Conference in Prince Ed- ward Island in November. She has speak- ing engagements set up until next March. "I know the market my books appeal to. You don't have to be a farmer to enjoy them. After portions of Bumps in your Coveralls were read on CFRB, a Toronto radio station, I received 400 requests for the book from Mississauga." Gisele first became interested in writing when she worked as a stringer for the Huron Expositor in Seaforth seven years, ago. She reported on farm meetings and decided theice had to be more to farming than meetings so she started writing a humourous column on the meetings. "I would like to do a column with a sar- castic view on what's happening in agriculture. There's a lot of apathy in agriculture. I could write a lot on it and the problems farmers face. At present, my column is the up side to the down side of farm life." . Well aware of the problems farmers are facing, Gisele sees a bleak future in agriculture. She can see corporate farm- ing instead of the present family farm. She can also see much social unrest in Canada as is now present in England. "Canada is one of few countries in the world where colour television is a necessi- ty. But it's definitely a luxury. If we have to run our country by lowering the stan- dard of living, then let's." She says farmers must unify in order to be heard. And that's happening because attitudes are changing. The role of the farm wife is also chang- ing as more (about 60 per cent) of women are working off the farm. In most cases, women took jobs for the betterment of the farm, financially. "Will they look back and say 'was it worth it'?" That's what Gisele's books do for the Ireland family. Though income from speaking engagements and book sales keeps food on the table, "I sure resent it," she says. "Not only do I help with the farm work, but I have another job and also do the housework." She doesn't plan to write humour forever but would like to get into educational books. "I would also like to do some serious books because the average Cana- dian doesn't understand the slaughter that's going on in agriculture. It's going to get worse and we're dragging the business community and taxpayer with us. "Farm people have been so gullible and trusting. They never expected anything like this to happen. It was like getting hit With a sledgehammer." It's through her writing that Gisele finds •an outlet. Hog Wild is available by writing ,Gisele Ireland, Teeswater, Ontario, NOG 2S0. Cost is $9 per copy'. "Court Jesters" provides laughter for readers by Corinne Boyle Need a cure for the blues? Peter MacDonald has just the answer. In his recently released book titled "Court Jesters" MacDonald, a lawyer from Hanover, presents a collection of funny stories gathered from lawyers,judges, court clerks, witnesses and jurymen from across Canada. The average Canadian may think of the courtroom as a dull and boring place. MacDonald concedes that much of the time such is the case. However, every once in a while the. unexpected happens in Canada's courtrooms. Somebody makes a joke. Most times jokes are made unintentionally, but never -the -less, they make good conversation at the end of the day and inevitably get told again and again. MacDonald has been an audience to many of these yarns over the years and is now sharing them with•,,peaders across, the country. / -I knew at an early age ;that there was something special about these stories." he says. • MacDonald's father was Vincent C. MacDonald, a prominent lawyer who was the Dean of the Faculty of Law at Dalhousie University and 'was appointed to the Supreme Court of Nova .Scotia. In the introduction of "Court Jesters" MacDonald calls listening to amusing stories which originated in the courtroom, some of which he includes in his book. - "Dad was a great raconteur, and so were rnany of his friends. When they got together at our house, explosions of laughter usually drove me from my bed to the top of the stairs, where I'd sit and listen to grown•men- -learned men—trying to outdo each other in the ancient and honorable art of telling stories. Sometimes I didn't understand what they were saying, but I knew it had to do with lawyers and judges and things that happened in court. What I remember most is h6w obviously happy these men were to be there, swapping stories about the law." MacDonald says he often found himself thinking, "Somebody could write a book with all these stories. It was incidental who wrote it. Little did I know it would be me." MacDonald possesses the right combination of qualifications to author "Court Jesters." A native of Halifax, he received his B.A. from St. Francis I Xavier University in Antigonish and as a student, worked as a reporter for the Globe and Mail, the Toronto Telegram and the Star Weekly. After attending the Faculty of Law at the University of Toronto, he was called to the bar in 1962. He has been practicing law in Hanover since 1963. With his background in writing and law; MacDonald finally asked himself, "Why not me?" Once the decision was made, MacDonald set to work. On January 30, 1984, he called Gerry Rogers, also of Hanover, who had taught MacDonald's three kids. He intended to get the phone number of a possibly contributor. Rogers, himself gave MacDonald a story. "I wrote it down," says MacDonald. "I said, there, I've started the book. I only had one story, but I was proud of it." ' MacDonald's collection of stories grew into the hundreds as he solicited tales from law people across the country. In September of 1984 he began a column in The National, a publication of the Canadian Bar Association. He thought that through his column, he could get contributions to his book. "I was more right than I thought. I was bombarded with replies from across the country. In November the stories started rolling in. There were days when I couldn't wait to get the morning mail. I was starting every day with a good chuckle." ' MacDonald credits -the contents of "Court Jesters" to about 320 contributors across the country and ironically, the.only name that is missing from this list (a purely unintentional mistake) is 9•erry Rogers. As for MacDonald's entry into the book business, he says, "I'm the new kid on the block." He was a little vague on what happened between the time an idea was born and a book was on sale in a store. He's learning fast. Methuen Publications put out 6,000 copies of "Court Jesters" in the first printing and a second printing of 2,000 more is now on bookshelves. MacDonald says there is a good possibility a third printing will be published before Christmas. ' MacDonald beams with pride when he talks about the success he is having with "Court Jesters." It was published in August and within a month, it took the eighth spot on the national best-seller list, After a week, it was bumped off the list. Since its birth, MacDonald's column has been ridden with plugs for his book and when it was published he kept his faithful readers up-to-date on its success. "After a week in the sun, the book was jostled off the charts by a pair of fast riders named Shirley . MacLaine and Priscilla Presley, who barged by on the rail and raced straight into the hearts and wallets of vast throngs of ready-made readers." Shortly after that. "Court Jesters" was back on the list, claiming the 10th spot, this time to be bumped by Peter Newman. MacDonald is not even sightly disgruntled at MacLaine, Presley and Newman, though. "It's really something to get on the list at all;" he says with the enthusiasm of a first- time author. A conversation withMacDonald about his book picks up speed as it progresses because - he has a lot, to say about its success. His column repeatedly includes the phrase "our book" as he remains ever grateful to the "legal types" from whom he got the stories. In his October column he writes, "I told you' we „ we're a pretty funny crew, now' didn't I?. So take a bow, folks. We couldn't have done it without your yarns. In a real sense, this is your "baby" too." MacDonald is quick to get a plug in for his next book, "More Court Jesters." "Don't forget, either, that there's another one on the way. I'm chipping away at the sequel and, naturally, I'd be lost without you. We'll have a lot of fun together, as we have all along, and in the process .we'll preserve many wonderful stories for posterity." MacDonald is tickled with the results of his first book and considers his satisfaction with the finished product reward enough for the nights and weekends be spent putting the hook together. Clarkhill Feeders Ltd. Silo Unloaders- Conveyors-Feeders. R.R. 5 GODERICH, ONT. N7A 3Y2 PHIL CLARK 524+4367 CANAC KITCHEN CABINETS on display at Home Hardware in Goderieb. Installed and distributed by Gerrie Glenn cau 262-2274 529-7030 4 deK22O4 K2204 2850 C11.1.1. Standability that lets you harvest a bigger corn crop This Canadian -developed hybrid has set a new standard for standability. Extremely stiff stalks combined with outstanding,yield make K2204 a truly exceptional hybrid in 2850 heat unit areas. 1984 PERFORMANCE DATA . Yield Broken % Bu/Acre $/ stalks Moisture @ 15.5% Acre' Pride K2204 2.7 25.0 138.3 443.94 Pioneer 3906 2.6 26.9 137.3 436.61 Average of, all varieties '6.7 25.9 125.5 401.60. • Data 'S Acre collected Irom Pnde test plot program and 0 C C performance Irials based on S3 50.bu alter drying costs • Profit from our rioe New Numbers GEORGE THOMPSON (519) 482'9327 bookshelves. MacDonald says there is a good possibility a third printing will be published before Christmas. ' MacDonald beams with pride when he talks about the success he is having with "Court Jesters." It was published in August and within a month, it took the eighth spot on the national best-seller list, After a week, it was bumped off the list. Since its birth, MacDonald's column has been ridden with plugs for his book and when it was published he kept his faithful readers up-to-date on its success. "After a week in the sun, the book was jostled off the charts by a pair of fast riders named Shirley . MacLaine and Priscilla Presley, who barged by on the rail and raced straight into the hearts and wallets of vast throngs of ready-made readers." Shortly after that. "Court Jesters" was back on the list, claiming the 10th spot, this time to be bumped by Peter Newman. MacDonald is not even sightly disgruntled at MacLaine, Presley and Newman, though. "It's really something to get on the list at all;" he says with the enthusiasm of a first- time author. A conversation withMacDonald about his book picks up speed as it progresses because - he has a lot, to say about its success. His column repeatedly includes the phrase "our book" as he remains ever grateful to the "legal types" from whom he got the stories. In his October column he writes, "I told you' we „ we're a pretty funny crew, now' didn't I?. So take a bow, folks. We couldn't have done it without your yarns. In a real sense, this is your "baby" too." MacDonald is quick to get a plug in for his next book, "More Court Jesters." "Don't forget, either, that there's another one on the way. I'm chipping away at the sequel and, naturally, I'd be lost without you. We'll have a lot of fun together, as we have all along, and in the process .we'll preserve many wonderful stories for posterity." MacDonald is tickled with the results of his first book and considers his satisfaction with the finished product reward enough for the nights and weekends be spent putting the hook together. Clarkhill Feeders Ltd. Silo Unloaders- Conveyors-Feeders. R.R. 5 GODERICH, ONT. N7A 3Y2 PHIL CLARK 524+4367 CANAC KITCHEN CABINETS on display at Home Hardware in Goderieb. Installed and distributed by Gerrie Glenn cau 262-2274 529-7030 4