Clinton News-Record, 1985-11-13, Page 41I Survived a T
By Rachel Cope Goldfarb
plashy ads, dollar -off
deals, well-intentioned
acquaintances and the
Manipulative efforts of.
our small (but powerful)
brood had finally worn
us down.
My husband and I consented
to join the teeming masses last
weekend at one of the
perpetually popular
"pay -to -play" theme parks
where fresh -faced young sadists
stood poised to amuse/abuse us
to the marrow of our bones.
The excitement began in the
SOI'HIES
GOWN SHOPPE
Regional, Value Spotter, November 13, 1985 Page 15
eme Park Visit 9
"I'm sure your husband is in
terrific shape but by 'trade in'
we mean a car."
12FILJN 1
,+ 9WITH x56
FIGURES •
By: J.A.H. Hunter
All In Stock Bridal Gowns
Mothers, Bridesmaids,
Hats, Veils
Stili At
160 York Ste Downstairs
London
Look for the red awning
433-2865
"Your wife looks far
too young to be a gran-
nie," said George.
"And you don't look
much older."
Harry smiled. "I'm
not," he replied. "In
fact our ages are two
consecutive odd num-.
bers, and the difference
of their squares is the
cube of our grandson's
age." • �'
What was the age of
the grandson?
PIo SJeaX
xis sum uosptie1D
iI3MSNIV
parking lot amidst gravel, about
30,000 other early birds and
complicated double -coded
locator signs designed to help
tired funlovers and find their
vehicles at the end of the day.
Each sign prominent1#
displayed the face of a
whimsical character to assist
those who were not too
self-conscious to inquire as to
the whereabouts of lots like
"Sweetpea Princess Parking."
We found a place in line
where tickets could be purchased
for a mere day's salary and the
promise of a sliding percentage
of pay increments over the next
12 months. With a discount
coupon, however, each ticket
cost one dollar less (but added a
75 cent service charge).
Once inside the fantasy gates,
we were blasted with the
thematically coordinated sights,
sounds and smells of FUN.
Performing cartoon characters
peering out of ,tiny eyeholes in
fuzzy, humongous headpieces
shook the hand of any child who
didn't bite.
Brass band renditions of
vaguely familiar tunes (sounding
as if they were performed within
a tuna can) squalled from
speakers everywhere disguised
as grotesquely hued posies.
And baking, popping, swirling
vessels of gooey calories sent
odorous messages to passers-by,
luring them into shops where
samples could be had for a
price.
But the kids had other things
on their minds, the real reason
for the drive, the admission and
fighting the crowds. They
wanted their brains rattled!
We raced to one much -touted
ride, named after an animal
belonging to an endangered
species that I would never miss.
Once there, we learned that we
faced a 45 -minute wait before j
we could experience the
promised thrills and chills.
During the trek to the front
line, we trudged like cattle
through the barred and chained
zigzagging lanes, seeing the
same weary faces and tacky
attire pass us over and over
again.
At certain points during the
wait, sections of the man-made
wonders could be spied, giving
pause and cause for futher
consideration about the wisdom
of the ride. Free -falling log -like
containers of humans were
pelted by hundreds of gallons of
water; single -link chains held
vehicles suspended over
evergreen forests; and flimsy,
connected carts raced through
tunnels sideways at close to the
speed of light.
Well, you know, I actually
enjoyed it. Fear is invigorating,
and I can't remember ever
feeling quite that vigorous.
We experienced about a dozen
of these "once-in-a-lifetime"
moments, and had begun to feel
blase about risking our lives and
Please turn to page 16
Don MesCr Jubilee
A full-scale musical that
recreates those special
nights with Charlie
Chamberlain, Marg
Osborne and the Don
Messer gang. It is a
nostalgic look at a
Canadian institution,
written by John Gray.
Don Messer's "Jubilee"
lives again in this
production from
Neptune Theatre in
Halifax.
Thursday and Friday,
14 and 15 at 8 pm in Althouse
College $12 — Reg. 10 — Stu./Sr./Alumni
Les BalletsJazz
de on
London's favourite
ballet company returns
by popular demand.
'This highly -charged,
good-looking,
well- trained' and
meticulously- •
rehearsed company
wins new enthusiasts
for dance every year.
November
•
Wednesday,
Dec. 4 at
8:30 pm in
Alumni Hall
SECTIONS
A 13
$15 13 —Reg.
12 10 —Stu./Sr. /Alumni
The University of Wes ern Ontario 1985-86
• All seats reserved. Tickets on sale now at campus box offices: Talbot Theatre box office in
Talbot College and Central box office in UCC Bldg. Also downtown at Orchestra London
and Sam the Record Man or call 679.3391 and charge it.