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Clinton News-Record, 1985-11-13, Page 40Page 14 r Regional Value ter, November 1 , ygi Enjoyin By Rita Robinson Have you ever been talking with a group of friends and find your mind drifting to the • potted plants at home you forgot to water or to an argument you had with your mate earlier that morning? , Perhaps in the middle of a business meeting you start thinking about an important phone call you forgot to make and your mind skirts from the issues being discussed. Before long, your mind is adrift with all sorts of problems and you're only catching bits and pieces of the conversation, adding nothing of your own, Mind drift, or not having the ability to stay tuned to the here and now, is an occasional problem for most people, and a serious one for some. Whether it occurs infrequently or most of the time, it robs us of one of life's biggest pleasures — the ability to enjoy the moment. And the problem may go deeper, Pat Allen, Newport, Calif., psychotherapist and frequent radio and TV talk -show guest, says that people who aren't focused on what's taking place in the present don't love themselves. "Experience what you're experiencing at the moment, share it with someone else, and that's really living and loving," she says. "It's similar to the age-old problem of making out the grocery list while you're making love." Tuning out is not only mentally unhealthy and draining, but it causes accidents, she points out. How many times have you nearly bumped into a car in front of you or run a stop sign because your thoughts were elsewhere? Additionally, people who have a difficult time focusing on the 1 't issue at hand may be suffering mild to severe forms of depression, which have affected up to 70 percent of the population at one time or another in their lives. Drifting out of a conversation may not seem as threatening as crashing into another car, but the outcome can be just as serious. h can be a lifelong habit that cheats one out of full participation in life, says Irwin Jay Knops, professor of psychology at Emory University in Atlanta, Ga. Knops, who specializes in treating children with short attention spans, says people who want to break the mind -drift habit must convince themselves that it's important to stay focused, and that requires a change in attitude. Too many people believe that what they have to contribute to our society, and this includes communicating, is unimportant. "A person doesn't have to be a passive influence in the world," says Lewis Picher, clinical psychologist in Denver, Colo., who works with depressed patients. "People's attitudes can pull them out of a seemingly boring situation. It's difficult to do it even when you're mildly depressed, but you can train yourself to pull out of it." Pitcher recalls one woman he treated who was still hung up over a two-year-old divorce. She tried getting out with other people, but once with them her mind continually drifted to her ex-husband the bitterness she felt over the divorce. He also worked with a woman who drifted out of what she perceived as boring conversations by turning inward and counting each breath she took. • Whether they realized it or not, the two women are living a passive life, and few seek help for what they believe is a minor problem. Who cares if they drift out of a conversation, they think. In ow fast -paced society, with its emphasis on communication, it's important to stay in tune, and it's up to the individual to find out how to do it. We need substitutes for the old hickory stick used during 19th century church services to jolt people into wakefulness when the sermons went on for hours sending parishioners into semi -doze states. Knops suggests a method not quite as harsh as the hickory stick, but one that he says works — bite"your lip hard enough to jolt you back into the picture. Picher uses the STOP! technique. "Simply shout loudly in your mind, 'STOP!' The word sort of P1 jolts the consciousness and brings a person back to the here and now." A person can use the technique to its fullest when alone. If the mind starts to drift to depressing thoughts, shout the word,out loud. There are exceptions and sometimes it may be healthy .to tune out a tacky conversation. On the other hand, if the problem is frequent and persistent, something should be done about it. Learning how to avoid mind drift, caused by depression, was a problem for Mary Natale of Claremont, Calif. But she says that learning how to overcome it helped her in the battle against cancer. Natale, a hospice volunteer and speech instructor who was given six months to live as the result of cancer more than five years ago, says that a simple act like rubbing someone's feet can be a time of enjoyment if your 141 mind is completely on the task at hand. "I told this hospice patient 1 was working with that i was enjoying rubbing her feet, that it gave me pleasure. She asked me how something so menial could give me pleasure and 1 asked her to try a simple exercise. "The woman was eating cottage cheese and pears and 1 told her to really concentrate on what she was eating, to think about the texture of the food, to delight in the sweetness of the pears and to really savor the taste of the cottage cheese. "That's being in tune with what's going on now, and it adds Immense pleasure to our lives," Natale says. Not everyone is faded with a life-threatening situation like Mary's that jolts them into a deeper appreciation of their existence,, but everyone can enjoy a better quality life when they're tuned to the here and now, but it takes disciplgte and commitment. "Politicians are good at giving you that 'moment,' with that handshake that says, 'I'm connecting with you,' " says Knops. However, they train themselves to focus this way and seldom remember once they have moved on to the next person. But their skill at making the other person feel important enhances their popularity. Ron J., who is successful at making friends of the opposite sex, has another form of -this skill. "When we go out to dinner at a crowded restaurant, he acts as if I'm the only one in the room. That makes me feel very special." It's important to make people we deal with feel special, even though at times it seems impossible to stay tuned in. Bobbe Sommer, a San t Clemente, Calif., THE LONDON FOUR POSTER This Bed includes: Frame, Headboard, Footboard, Deck, Particle Board Pedestal, Mattress Pad, Mattress, Line and Linerlock, Heater, Thermostat, Fill Kit and Algaecide. The ix drawer pede tal is optional at $152.° NOW ONLY 5349.00 Until November 27, 1985 Free Delivery in London / Take Advantage of Our "30 Day Comfort Satisfaction Guarantee!" SOUND SLEEP WATERBEDS A Division of Sound Sleep Systems Inc. Hours: Mon. To Fri. 10-9 Sat. 9-6 600 OXFORD ST. E. (AT ADELAIDE) LONDON 672®3923 psychothetaptst, suggests that when ynu) re involved in a boring conversation, grab hold of a key phrase, such as 'politics' if that's what's being discussed." Say the word quietly to yourself. If you don't have any expertise on the subject, ask questions. "Successful people do this all the time and have the ability to enjoy the moment, even when things seem boring," she says. Some people seen to believe that it's up to others to keep them from being bored, when it's clearly a matter of changing one's own attitude. "It's the old saw of every cloud having a silver lining," says Picher. "If you're caught walking in the rain unprepared, look for a rainbow." People who don't focus on what's going on around them live in the content of their lives and not the context," says Allen. By living in ,the content of life, we're restricted to a given area, including our own inter world. When we live in the context of our lives, it involves the entire situation: our environment, background, personality and environment. We're always drifting into the future and into the past. We have to pay attention to the here and now, and it even helps to get angry at yourself (or being a passive participant instead of an active one, according to the experts. Enjoying the moment, despite the circumstances, affects the quality of our lives, and to do s� is a conscious choice that has 'to be made and acted upon. ■ KIDNEY DISEASE CAUSED BY ANALGESICS' Between 200 and 250 Americans a year experience permanent kidney failure as a result of taking large doses of over-the-counter combination analgesics (pain medicine). Patients age 65 and older are the heaviest users of analgesic drugs. Dr. Roscoe R. Robinson, professor of medicine at Vanderbilt AiniveisitylVfedical Center, says that the consumer should read labels and avoid over-the-counter (OTC) preparations containing more than one of the following ingredients: aspirin, acetaminophen, salicylamide, sodium salicylate, calcium salicylate or choline salicylate. He further states that the danger point with combination OTC analgesics seems to be 10 tablets a day for three years or more. He says that there is no evidence that long-term use of a single -ingredient OTC analgesic produces analgesic -associated kidney disease when taken according to the manufacturer's directions. The danger is that some patients don't consider OTC preparations to be drugs and so they may hide their use from their families and their doctors. The cost of caring for these patients by dialysis is over $40 million,a year. (Geriatric Consultant, August 1984)1a. Parents never fully ap- preciate teachers unless it rains all weekend. -Quoted by .Bob Goddard in St: Louis Globe' -Democrat ' Sev%ittits 00 =1:1-.1'.44E111 111nri F-1 "Let's .face -facts. We've had no strikes for a year which means we're overpaying the workers." MITE BITES A 6 -year-old girl who took a nap in her pet dog's sleeping box developed hundreds of red, itchy lesions on her body, arms and legs. They were caused by microscopic mites living on the dog. Three other family members also had similar lesions which were not initially diagnosed. The itchy eruptions occurred mostly at the sites of direct .contact with the pet. By the time, a patient seeks medical care, the lesions may: be so changedlby scratching that a doctor may find it hard to diagnose the cause. (Modern Medicine, November 1984) • tMAGNETIC SEAL INTERIOR STORM WINDOWS ARE UNBEATABLE... OInHhration Savings *Approved tiro •Heat Conduction response Sovingi • Lightweight s Air Conditioning • Eosy Maintenance Savings 0 Rapid installation *Noise Reduction • 10•Year Warranty • Higher Impact Resistance than glass GEORGE HARRISON St. Marys 284-2435 Den -Way Ltd. London (519) 673-0194 '