Clinton News-Record, 1985-11-13, Page 33yf
By Or. Judith Ktariansky
Prior to our marripge, my wife
always signed her letters "Your
loving gal." Lo and behold,
this loving gal turned out to be
dead set against everything
known as sex. So I have slept
in a bed with a full-grown
woman for half a century who
was — and still is — as
responsive as a
department -store manikin.
Her excuse: "That's the way
1 was raised up at home."
During our waking hours I
furnish her with all of today's
conveniences l can afford, then
retire to the bedroom in an
atmosphere of the Victorian
period. Should I say, as Jackie
Gleason always did, "How
sweet it is;" or just say what I
would like to? A monk's life in
Indiana
Patience is a virtue, but in
your case you should have
written to me 45 years ago — to
riev64*s 1
"First, I'm going to wipe out
poverty."
nip yaw passionless marriage in
the. bud. Since you let -it go on
so long, I wonder. All those
years you let your wife take the
heat for being asexual while you
could profess being the normal
one without ever having to prove
it. She's probably not the only
one of the two of you who grew
up ruled by.guilt, or messages
that sex was taboo.
Obviously you believed the
man pays the bills and the
woman pays him back to the
bedroom. But it was safer for
you to play martyr than satyr.
Alas, your time of sexual
awakening has come. So can
your wife's. Unlike becoming an
Olympic gymnast at 60, it is
never too late to start enjoying
your body. At any age, yotl can
say, "I no longer buy (my
mother's, etc.) rules. No sex
may have been right for (her,
him, them), but not for me
now . "
Feeling you missed out makes
you angry. Damming up anger,
or letting it flood out, ruins a
relationship. Don't blame or
accuse your wife. Start slowly
and positively. Say, "Now's our
time to make the most of life
and love." Write her love letters
— with censored parts. Ask her
to answer them, and make
additions that bring you both out
of the Victorian age and up to
date.
CAN'T SAY HIS NAME
In the heat of sexual passion, I
haven't been able to call out my
husband's name. I want to, but
then I forget it. Then I get
afraid I'll call him something
else. What is my dilemma?
A George would surely not be
happy hearing you scream for a
Harry during a moment of
intense intimacy. But he — and
you — would have to
FJ
PANDA SHOES
MASONi/ILLE Place
1680 Richmond St. N.,
London, Ont. 438-7498
EARL( WEEK SAVINGS
$400 OFF
ANY PAIR OF
IN STOCK
WINTER BOOTS
Nov.• 18 - 19 and 20!
Footwear for young folks
Fit for growing feet
Booties - Shoes - Slippers - Runners - Boots
.17
understand the mistake is
reasonable and doesn't mean any
other man is in your heart or
your life.
Reaching a peak of sexual r,
pleasure alters your
consciousness. Because of
muscle tension, blood flow and
chemical changes in the brain,
you are no longer in full control;
of what you say or do. You may
remember events or feelings
long buried. Or you may forget
— where you are or who you're
with. It's a state to welcome,
not to fear.
If a name other than your
partner's comes to mind, don't
panic. Your unconscious is
coming to the fore. Maybe you
are happy this love is better than
what you had with Bill in the
past. Or you could miss Jack's
way of treating you (If so, make
that happen in your present
relationship).
If the dreaded happens and you
call out another moniker aloud
by accident, your oldie i not
mud. Reassure your husband it
was a.normal unconscious
intrusion, talk about parts of
your past and tell him
extensively how he is special.
Should you want to shout out
your husband's name — short of
writing it on the ceiling above
your bed — practice saying it
over and over while imagining
making love. Such sexual
rehearsals fix responses in your
brain and body and make it
more likely they will actually
happen. R
Dr. Kuriansky !s a
clinical psychologist and
certified sex therapist in
New York City. Send
your question to Dr.
Judith Kurtansky, Sunday
Woman, 235 E. 45th St.,
N.Y., N.Y. 10017
•
•
•
Cm
--SANTA
d „rI
IS COMING
TO WHITE
OAKS MALL
SATURDAY
following the Santa Claus Parade
1
HAVE YOUR PICTURE
TAKEN WITH SANTA
only295
Tai.
I+scluded
Nov. 16
Nov. 21,22,23
Nov. 28,29,30
Dec. 1-23
Dec. 24
12:00 to 4:00, 5:00 to 8:00
11:00 to 2:00, 3:00 to 5:00, 6:00 to 8:00
11:00 to 2:00, 3:00 to 5:00, 6:00 to 8:00
11:00 to 2:00, 3:00 to 5:00, 6:00 to 8:00
11:00 to 2:00, 3:00 to 5:00
WELLINGTON RD.
North of Hwy. 401
MALL HOURS: Mon. to Sat. 10 till 10
.11
Your Fashion
Centre
•