HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1985-10-09, Page 601
401 it.
vort -
,49• yQ,nhn� a
carefree child, again."?
The popular adult belief
is that children are happy all the
time. What little sadnesses they
do experience can be healed
with a kiss or an ice-cream
cone. And they never experience
stress.
Or do they?
Until recently, few adults,
including professionals, took
children's stress seriously.
Whenever children manifested
the symptoms ,of stress through
behavior unacceptable to adults
in authority, they were usually
regarded as "problem" children.
Terri, who at 6, was labeled
by her teachers as "an extremely
difficult child," is a classic child
stress victim. She certainly
didn't fit the adult fantasy of the
happy child.
"Terri spent most of
kindergarten and first grade
being disciplined in some
fashion," says her mother, Jean.
"My husband and 1 received
many notes and phone calls and
attended several
parent -teacher -principal
conferences which got us all
nowhere.
"Finally the school's guidance
counselor directed us to a child
psychologist, a woman who was
aware of the new research done
on child stress. She told us that
Terri was a classic type
personality, something we didn't
even know kids could be. She
taught us how to help Terri cope
with her stress in positive ways
rather than through the
disruptive behaviors she had
been using."
Admittedly every case of child
misbehavior isn't stress-related.
How can parents recognize child
stress? Andwhat can they do to
help. the stressed child?
Jill Nelson, a Midwestern
child psychologist, says,
jai eu.0
pact out`
tf !caws parents and
teacberS anti Professionais
playing a guessing game, a
charade of sorts. We see the
effect, the behavior; and we
have to root out the cause, the
underlying problem. If I were
trying to determine the cause of
a child's behavior problems, I
would find out what major
changes have occurred recently
in his life. I would begin the
guessing game by examining the
child's recent past."
Just as' adults suffer stress
from major life changes
including moving, divorce, death
of a family member, loss of a
job ; so do children suffer. And
they do not have the advantage
•
pellet i; we a geiuomg
04:011,10$1# W **major • .
eha ge doest 't .unpact heavily
on chtldre'n just 'because_ they
don't talk about their feelings.
"1 went back to work when •
Terri started kindergarten," Jean
says. "And her father began
!night school at the same time.
Our whole lives changed. Then
when we had settled into•
something of a nOW. routine, 1
got pregnant and rniscarried at
four months. We thought. Terri
had hardly noticed or
understood, but we were
wrong."
What makes one child react
negatively to stress, while •
another seems to take these life
changes in stride? •
Terri's father groused that`
"other kids" suffered similar
and worse traumas without
Q
yi
.'M
,pge
lig to ,stress, And be
°kn'OvV1whytOS
dau hter didn' . Or wouldn't.
Perhatas she couldn't, •
need help. And in fact, the ..
`natter" coping probably reflects
Nelson I^elieves certain
personality types are more
stress -prone than others. These
children need help in learning
stress -management techniques
early.
"Children who learn how to
cope with stress are less likely to
suffer its' ill effects as adults,"
she says. "While some seem to
cope with crises naturally, others
a combination of two things: a
„ more easygoing personality type
and parents who have, whether
consciously or not, taught their
children not to be overly fearful
of life and shown them how to
tackle problems head on and
solve them.
(continued on next page)
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All seats reserved. Tickets on sale now at campus box offices: Talbot Theatre box office in
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