Clinton News-Record, 1985-2-27, Page 32Weddings are traditional
The word for weddings today is "tra.'
tional". Anyone who attends a nuptial 1980s -
style can see why right away. The bareffoot-
in-the-park ceremonies of the 1960s and 70s
have disappeared as completely as flower
children and love beads_ Elegant cloVVhes,
age-old ritual and a spirit of nostalgia are
the rule.
But does this swing -back mean that all in-
novation is out ,of style? Does the bride of
today, really have a wedding that is in-
distinguishable from the one her mother or
grandmother had?
"You need to look more closely to see
what's happened," says' bara Tober,
Editor-in-Chiaof BRIDE'S • gazine.
."Today's weddings do seek otic the best
,and most beautiful traditions of the past —
in contrast to a few years ago when anything
old was automatically suspect. But, at the
same time, they're very, very modern in
that they express new ideals."
Fewer "rules" of etiquette plus a climate
that favors personal expression have led
couples to add their own creative touch.
"But today's individuality is very different
from the 'do your own thing' brand of the
last decade," says Mrs. Tober.
Couples don't throw out the whole
ceremony and start from scratch; they
must change or add little things. For exam-
ple, they have their own special music
played, have a little girl instead of a boy as a
ring bearer, or pass out printed ceremony
"programs."
Modern weddings also break with the past
over the ideal of equality. Today's bride
may be dressed in a demure turn -of -the -
century style, but that isn't necessarily in-
dicative of her approach to marriage. For
example, because couple after couple decid-
Showcase '85, page 5
ed that ritual phrases such as "love, honor
and obey" and "man and wife" just didn't
fit anymore, these phrases have largely
disappeared.
The "giving away" (a part of some
ceremonies in which the celebrant asks,
"Who gives this woman in marriage") has
also changed with the times. Today, a cou-
ple might rewrite the question to read,
"Who blesses this marriage," with both the
bride's and groom's, parents answering "We
do."
The same kind of thinking has likewise
revised the. idea of who pays for a wedding.
Traditionally, the bride's parents
shouldered the whole bill.
"But for the first time," says Mrs. Tober,
"there's a definite trend toward the sharing
of expenses by the groom's family." This is
partly economic — inflation for some
families means everyone has to chip in for
there to be a wedding at all.
But it's also a sign of the times. A bride's
parents are no longer considered to be
"marrying off" their daughter. Rather, the
wedding is seen as a joining of two people
and two families.
Finally, equality means a new role in the
wedding for today's groom. In the past, a
groom often felt like a spectator at his
bride's "big day." Modern couples simply
take for granted that it's his wedding too!
Grooms have new responsiblities: They
help pick the wedding site, choose china pat-
terns, address invitations and write thank -
you notes. And they bask in a larger share of
the limelight: Some men wear engagement
rings, appear with the fiancees in
newspaper announcements, and even have
showers thrownin their honor.
Her polyester organza gown is reminiscent of Lady Diana's with the full sleeve touched with lace.
A matching wide brimmed hat with net and veiling add.nomanee. His silver grey tuxedo has satin
notched lapels and wing collared shirt with matching satin tie.
(Photo by Mary Layton Photography)
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