HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1981-11-18, Page 2141° The truth
about waffles
r
by Randy Lobb
I knew the moment I saw
them that I was going to die
if I ate any of those waffles.
Many people have died dur-
ing a feast upon waffles.
Waffles were first in-
vented in Asia Minor by the
Assyrians. One of the
cruelest of the Assyrian
kings was the actual creator.
It is commonly thought that
King Otis came upon waffles
while carving various
shapes and indentations into
the hands of a young slave,
the co -inventor, Doug. Otis
decided to market these
goodies and far: a whi.lc waf-
fles made of flesh from cer-
tain prisoners and laced with
poison thorns were all the
rage for suicides and sneak
assassinations.
Waffle's didn't show up
again until Monday, July 18
at about 11:30 in the year
1450 B.C. in Knossos on the
island of Crete. Waffles were
credited with the disap-
pearance of all the Minoans
and the destruction of the ci-
ty. Waffles were again lost in
this great disaster but found
during the end of the Roman
Empire.
The barbarians who sack-
ed the great Romans were
armed with waffles. Here
again, waffles caused the
doionfall of a whole civiliza-
tion! During these Dark
Ages much was lost concern-
ing waffles but we do know
that certai sects of religious
fanatics worshipped a great
waffle as the "God of
Destruction."
Since then perhaps the
most viciously felt presence
of waffles was during the
year 1322 in Italy.
The records show that
giant waffles stormed a
large city. The attacking
horde of waffles broke down
the walls, voicing terrific
war cries and brandishing
waffle; irurbs. The ctt3r
dwellers fought bravely but
the horrible onslaught of
these guerilla waffles over-
took them.
Yes, waffles have always
played a large part in wars.
In World War 2 a crack team
of eight waffles wiped out a
complete American bat-
talion.
So you see, never trust a
waffle. Remember, I've
warned you!
Smile
Nowadays you'll find
almost everything in the
average American
home...except the family.
WHITE CARNATION
Holmesville
FRIDAY -SUNDAY EVENING
BUFFET
5 p.m. to 7:90 p.m.
Roast Beef - Pork - Fowl
;J.9s per person
LUNCHEON BUFFET
FRIDAY AND SATURDAY cid
12 till 2 p.m. off'
3 95
. per person
Reservations requested Saturday Evening
OPEN WEEKENDS UNTIL Christmas.
Agar In March '82. ?:°tering to
weddings. banquets and private parties �'!r
482-'228
After hours - 524-4133
Licenced under L.L. O`,f'
jrr T. •
w central huren chronicle
Darryl Fox, editor
41.
secondary schol news
Mystery of the week
The drug store clerk is
frantic. "That nut held me
up!" he says. "He took a
couple of hundred dollars,
and I could have been kill-
ed!"
"Calm down," orders the
Inspector. "Just tell us what
happened."
The clerk speaks quickly.
"This man came into the
store. He was wearing some
kind of military uniform but-
toned right up to his chin. He
had a paper bag in his left
hand, and he took a gun out
of his right pocket when he
came to my counter. "Give
me all the money you've
got," he said. He even emp-
tied my wallet,- Then he put
the gun in his pocket and
walked towards the door.
About ten steps away, he
turned toward me with his
left hand, stuck in the coat
between the front buttons
and he said, "Your Emperor
Napolean demands this
tribute." Then he was out the
door and gone.
"You think the man
thought he was Napoleon?"
you ask.
"Who knows?" answered
the clerk. "He's some kind of
nut, that's for sure."
"This is an odd case, if
ever there was one," says In-
spector Hartman on the way
to the station.
"Not at all," you remark.
"It's just an ordinary lie."
"What makes you think
it's a he?" demands the In-
spector.
"The clerk was so positive
about every detail he told
us," you reply.
The Inspector bristles,
"What's wrong with that?
An observant witness comes
along once in a while, you
know."
'Think it over. The story
has to be a lie."
Answer next week! .
+++
Last Puzzle's Answer:
Post office box three -one -
seven Springfield, combina-
tion left 9, right 26, left 62.
Exam overload hits
by Barry Turner
The exam: the most
dreaded thing at CHSS. And
for good reason. What a
trauma. It causes a problem
worse than death itself —
OVERLOAD.
All fall, you study for tests
and then drop any excess in-
formation out of your brain.
Well, now in November, you
will experience
OVERLOAD.
The night before an exam
you bring home all your
notes and test papers you
an find for that subject. You
e going to cram. This re-
quires concentration and
isolation from the outside
world. So turn up the radio,
and study.
Five p.m. study, study,
study. Six p.m. study, eat,
study. Nine p.m., study,
cram, study. Eleven p.m.
study, cram, cram. One a.m.
cram, cram, cram. Eight
a.m. ring, ring, ring! The
alarm clock? You must have
fallen asleep.
By now you are feeling the
effects of overload. There's
the headache from chronic
brain strain, bloodshot eyes
from studying, and droopy
eyelids from lack of sleep.
At school, you proceed to a
predetermined exam room.
Soon the exam starts.
Around you, people write
feverishly. One can almost
hear the brains rattle. You
write quickly for what seems
to be an eternity. Finally,
one hour is up. Many people
give up trying, crumple up
excess paper and leave. Still
you continue. Finally you
finish.
Feeling weak from the ex-
am, you feel you have failed.
In this situation the best
thing to do is crawl in a
locker and die. For there is
no cure for sufferers of the
dreaded brain OVERLOAD.
CLINTON NEWS -RECORD, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 1981—PAGE 21
Jr. Fariners history published
A new book about the pro-
vince's Junior Farmers is
sure to be a best seller in
rural Ontario.
A Rural Legacy — The
History of the Junior
Daniel Steven Talbot, son of
Clifford and Barbara Talbot,
London, graduated with a
Bachelor of Science Honours
degree in Mechanical
Engineering. Daniel is a
graduate of Montcalm
secondary school, Loudon,
and is presently employed at
the Eastman Kodak Co.
Toronto. Dan is a grandson
of Mrs. Mina Talbot,
Bayfield and Lee and Anna
McConnell Clinton.
Dear Mary Jane,
How did you enjoy that Bridge Game? I'm sure Cathy asked us there just to
gloat. She must have started last Christmas making her decorations and buying and
wrapping this year's gifts. Can you imagine, all finished! Well, I intend to be
finished before Dec. 1 if it kills ,me, and it might.
My first stop is going to be the Country Spire. You know, I must be deaf,
dumb and blind, because I never knew this place existed until last week when
Susan told me about it. •
I had to go to Mitchell on Monday so dashed over to the Country Spire - it's
only a few miles from Mitchell on 83 highway. 1 only had a very few minutes but
what 1 saw made me want to go back. It is an old converted church with all the
appeal of a church, and jamed'packed full of beautiful gifts, decorations, silk flower
arrangements and•so very much more from rag dolls to fine china figurines and
everything in. between.
But most important - the prices are very reasonable. You can get a beautiful
gift for under $10.00, as well as the more expensive gifts.
Don't you dare tell me you knew of this placeand never mentioned it to me
because 1'11 be a bit upset to say the least; besides I want to show it to you. Believe
me we can probably do most of our gift shopping there plus get some beautiful
Christmas decorations.
We can go on from there to any place you'd like. See you Sat: A.M.
Betty
Farmers' Association of On-
tario is the first book tracing
the development of this rural
youth organization, says
Amber Gibbons, of the On-
tario Ministry of Agriculture
and Food extension branch.
Author Linda Biesenthal of
Kenilworth charts the
history of the organization
back to 1914 when short
courses were offered by the
county agricultural
representative. Later,
Junior Farmer Improve-
ment Associations sprung in-
to action at the county level.
"It wasn't until 1944 that
the provincial organization
was formed," says Miss Gib-
bons. "At that all -day
meeting, the then premier
George Drew offered words
of encouragement to the
organization."
A Rural Legacy describes
the Junior Farmers' war ef-
fort during the Second World
War. The group raised more
than $11,000 and donated an
ambulance, a mobile can-
teen and a stationwagon to
the Salvation Army and the
Red Cross.
The book follows the
association as it became a
respected voice in govern-
ment and the agricultural in-
dustry.
"About one half of the book
details the chronological
history 'of the organization,"
says Miss Gibbons. "The lat-
ter half is a collection of
reminiscences and reflec-
tions of Junior Farmers'
yesterday and today."
The 220 -page, soft -covered
book features more than 75
photographs, many from the
Ontario Ministry of
Agriculture and Food files.
A Rural Legacy is
available for $10 through the
Junior Farmer clubs ' and
from the Junior Farmers'
Association of Ontario, 801
Bay Street, Toronto, Ontario
M5S 1Z1.
Our mistake
t was incorrectly reported
in recent story about the
ministry of community and
social services, that Tom
Ewer worked for Huroru and
Perth Counties through the
ministry. However, Mr.
Ewer, a juvenile probation
after care officer, works
strictly in Huron County on a
full-time basis.
(MOONLI 6 r�
= SALE--=
Christmas
BOWS
Reg. 1 49
NOW
.87
THURSDAY EVENING
Starting at 7 p.m. until 9 p.m.
November. 19th
Children's
LEOTARDS
Values to 1.99
NOW
1.27
Ladies'
eg. .89
NOW
.47
eg. . 8
NOW
L4
Boy's
SKATE SOCKS
Reg. $1,79
NOW
.97
Surplir Stock LinniiaMo. Role Bo.r is papery Entire Stock on Sale! Save 1540-110% sad 1. isa.y'ee-
y plea and r.eh kr! Bay year rd. Whiter and Holiday Needs new aed SAVE -SAVE -SAVE -SAVE!
Polyester
Suede
Reg 15 00 M
NOW
9.97m
Icicles
.97
Men's
GLOVES
Reg, '4 99
TO -NIGHT ONLY
2.97
Infants'
STRETCH
SLEEPERS
Reg 5,99
• TO -NIGHT ONLY
2.97
Larone - Spittal
• Quantities Limited d
527-1960 Aincl
No Rain Cheques
Seaforth
Cube
Puzzle
Reg 3.97
NOW
2.97
Toddlers'
Cardigans ,
Reg. 8,95
NOW
4.97
6 CYLINDER
DOUBLE OVERHEAD CAM
FUELIN'JECTED
CELICA
TOYOTA
holiday"
We're located at
346 Huron Rd.,
GODERICH
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f%✓_ .'fir tl' a d •.
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KRK :T
Pf .•'•
PHONE
524-8411
524-9381
524-8311