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HomeMy WebLinkAboutClinton News-Record, 1981-11-18, Page 2141° The truth about waffles r by Randy Lobb I knew the moment I saw them that I was going to die if I ate any of those waffles. Many people have died dur- ing a feast upon waffles. Waffles were first in- vented in Asia Minor by the Assyrians. One of the cruelest of the Assyrian kings was the actual creator. It is commonly thought that King Otis came upon waffles while carving various shapes and indentations into the hands of a young slave, the co -inventor, Doug. Otis decided to market these goodies and far: a whi.lc waf- fles made of flesh from cer- tain prisoners and laced with poison thorns were all the rage for suicides and sneak assassinations. Waffle's didn't show up again until Monday, July 18 at about 11:30 in the year 1450 B.C. in Knossos on the island of Crete. Waffles were credited with the disap- pearance of all the Minoans and the destruction of the ci- ty. Waffles were again lost in this great disaster but found during the end of the Roman Empire. The barbarians who sack- ed the great Romans were armed with waffles. Here again, waffles caused the doionfall of a whole civiliza- tion! During these Dark Ages much was lost concern- ing waffles but we do know that certai sects of religious fanatics worshipped a great waffle as the "God of Destruction." Since then perhaps the most viciously felt presence of waffles was during the year 1322 in Italy. The records show that giant waffles stormed a large city. The attacking horde of waffles broke down the walls, voicing terrific war cries and brandishing waffle; irurbs. The ctt3r dwellers fought bravely but the horrible onslaught of these guerilla waffles over- took them. Yes, waffles have always played a large part in wars. In World War 2 a crack team of eight waffles wiped out a complete American bat- talion. So you see, never trust a waffle. Remember, I've warned you! Smile Nowadays you'll find almost everything in the average American home...except the family. WHITE CARNATION Holmesville FRIDAY -SUNDAY EVENING BUFFET 5 p.m. to 7:90 p.m. Roast Beef - Pork - Fowl ;J.9s per person LUNCHEON BUFFET FRIDAY AND SATURDAY cid 12 till 2 p.m. off' 3 95 . per person Reservations requested Saturday Evening OPEN WEEKENDS UNTIL Christmas. Agar In March '82. ?:°tering to weddings. banquets and private parties �'!r 482-'228 After hours - 524-4133 Licenced under L.L. O`,f' jrr T. • w central huren chronicle Darryl Fox, editor 41. secondary schol news Mystery of the week The drug store clerk is frantic. "That nut held me up!" he says. "He took a couple of hundred dollars, and I could have been kill- ed!" "Calm down," orders the Inspector. "Just tell us what happened." The clerk speaks quickly. "This man came into the store. He was wearing some kind of military uniform but- toned right up to his chin. He had a paper bag in his left hand, and he took a gun out of his right pocket when he came to my counter. "Give me all the money you've got," he said. He even emp- tied my wallet,- Then he put the gun in his pocket and walked towards the door. About ten steps away, he turned toward me with his left hand, stuck in the coat between the front buttons and he said, "Your Emperor Napolean demands this tribute." Then he was out the door and gone. "You think the man thought he was Napoleon?" you ask. "Who knows?" answered the clerk. "He's some kind of nut, that's for sure." "This is an odd case, if ever there was one," says In- spector Hartman on the way to the station. "Not at all," you remark. "It's just an ordinary lie." "What makes you think it's a he?" demands the In- spector. "The clerk was so positive about every detail he told us," you reply. The Inspector bristles, "What's wrong with that? An observant witness comes along once in a while, you know." 'Think it over. The story has to be a lie." Answer next week! . +++ Last Puzzle's Answer: Post office box three -one - seven Springfield, combina- tion left 9, right 26, left 62. Exam overload hits by Barry Turner The exam: the most dreaded thing at CHSS. And for good reason. What a trauma. It causes a problem worse than death itself — OVERLOAD. All fall, you study for tests and then drop any excess in- formation out of your brain. Well, now in November, you will experience OVERLOAD. The night before an exam you bring home all your notes and test papers you an find for that subject. You e going to cram. This re- quires concentration and isolation from the outside world. So turn up the radio, and study. Five p.m. study, study, study. Six p.m. study, eat, study. Nine p.m., study, cram, study. Eleven p.m. study, cram, cram. One a.m. cram, cram, cram. Eight a.m. ring, ring, ring! The alarm clock? You must have fallen asleep. By now you are feeling the effects of overload. There's the headache from chronic brain strain, bloodshot eyes from studying, and droopy eyelids from lack of sleep. At school, you proceed to a predetermined exam room. Soon the exam starts. Around you, people write feverishly. One can almost hear the brains rattle. You write quickly for what seems to be an eternity. Finally, one hour is up. Many people give up trying, crumple up excess paper and leave. Still you continue. Finally you finish. Feeling weak from the ex- am, you feel you have failed. In this situation the best thing to do is crawl in a locker and die. For there is no cure for sufferers of the dreaded brain OVERLOAD. CLINTON NEWS -RECORD, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 1981—PAGE 21 Jr. Fariners history published A new book about the pro- vince's Junior Farmers is sure to be a best seller in rural Ontario. A Rural Legacy — The History of the Junior Daniel Steven Talbot, son of Clifford and Barbara Talbot, London, graduated with a Bachelor of Science Honours degree in Mechanical Engineering. Daniel is a graduate of Montcalm secondary school, Loudon, and is presently employed at the Eastman Kodak Co. Toronto. Dan is a grandson of Mrs. Mina Talbot, Bayfield and Lee and Anna McConnell Clinton. Dear Mary Jane, How did you enjoy that Bridge Game? I'm sure Cathy asked us there just to gloat. She must have started last Christmas making her decorations and buying and wrapping this year's gifts. Can you imagine, all finished! Well, I intend to be finished before Dec. 1 if it kills ,me, and it might. My first stop is going to be the Country Spire. You know, I must be deaf, dumb and blind, because I never knew this place existed until last week when Susan told me about it. • I had to go to Mitchell on Monday so dashed over to the Country Spire - it's only a few miles from Mitchell on 83 highway. 1 only had a very few minutes but what 1 saw made me want to go back. It is an old converted church with all the appeal of a church, and jamed'packed full of beautiful gifts, decorations, silk flower arrangements and•so very much more from rag dolls to fine china figurines and everything in. between. But most important - the prices are very reasonable. You can get a beautiful gift for under $10.00, as well as the more expensive gifts. Don't you dare tell me you knew of this placeand never mentioned it to me because 1'11 be a bit upset to say the least; besides I want to show it to you. Believe me we can probably do most of our gift shopping there plus get some beautiful Christmas decorations. We can go on from there to any place you'd like. See you Sat: A.M. Betty Farmers' Association of On- tario is the first book tracing the development of this rural youth organization, says Amber Gibbons, of the On- tario Ministry of Agriculture and Food extension branch. Author Linda Biesenthal of Kenilworth charts the history of the organization back to 1914 when short courses were offered by the county agricultural representative. Later, Junior Farmer Improve- ment Associations sprung in- to action at the county level. "It wasn't until 1944 that the provincial organization was formed," says Miss Gib- bons. "At that all -day meeting, the then premier George Drew offered words of encouragement to the organization." A Rural Legacy describes the Junior Farmers' war ef- fort during the Second World War. The group raised more than $11,000 and donated an ambulance, a mobile can- teen and a stationwagon to the Salvation Army and the Red Cross. The book follows the association as it became a respected voice in govern- ment and the agricultural in- dustry. "About one half of the book details the chronological history 'of the organization," says Miss Gibbons. "The lat- ter half is a collection of reminiscences and reflec- tions of Junior Farmers' yesterday and today." The 220 -page, soft -covered book features more than 75 photographs, many from the Ontario Ministry of Agriculture and Food files. A Rural Legacy is available for $10 through the Junior Farmer clubs ' and from the Junior Farmers' Association of Ontario, 801 Bay Street, Toronto, Ontario M5S 1Z1. Our mistake t was incorrectly reported in recent story about the ministry of community and social services, that Tom Ewer worked for Huroru and Perth Counties through the ministry. However, Mr. Ewer, a juvenile probation after care officer, works strictly in Huron County on a full-time basis. (MOONLI 6 r� = SALE--= Christmas BOWS Reg. 1 49 NOW .87 THURSDAY EVENING Starting at 7 p.m. until 9 p.m. November. 19th Children's LEOTARDS Values to 1.99 NOW 1.27 Ladies' eg. .89 NOW .47 eg. . 8 NOW L4 Boy's SKATE SOCKS Reg. $1,79 NOW .97 Surplir Stock LinniiaMo. Role Bo.r is papery Entire Stock on Sale! Save 1540-110% sad 1. isa.y'ee- y plea and r.eh kr! Bay year rd. Whiter and Holiday Needs new aed SAVE -SAVE -SAVE -SAVE! Polyester Suede Reg 15 00 M NOW 9.97m Icicles .97 Men's GLOVES Reg, '4 99 TO -NIGHT ONLY 2.97 Infants' STRETCH SLEEPERS Reg 5,99 • TO -NIGHT ONLY 2.97 Larone - Spittal • Quantities Limited d 527-1960 Aincl No Rain Cheques Seaforth Cube Puzzle Reg 3.97 NOW 2.97 Toddlers' Cardigans , Reg. 8,95 NOW 4.97 6 CYLINDER DOUBLE OVERHEAD CAM FUELIN'JECTED CELICA TOYOTA holiday" We're located at 346 Huron Rd., GODERICH .. F ,,'�'}�r `fr:: ':`r•r :• :If•.p::2.+r,.:i:P{rF,{5::;,•: rfi`r i S• •••• fiOLri/.• f%✓_ .'fir tl' a d •. r l•: i:fi •. y$1 KRK :T Pf .•'• PHONE 524-8411 524-9381 524-8311