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Clinton News Record, 1981-01-22, Page 113AYFI ELD by end sturgeon and Helen Owen Espion e in the attic One evening recently, the Reeve of Hayfield, George Fellows, was -sitting quietly with his wife when they were startled by inexplicable noises which seemed to be coming from somewhere overhead. A man of action, the Reeve ®tely proceeded to investigate, but this wasn't an easy task since the attic area provided the minimum of space. In fact, the only method was to lie face - downward and then edge one's way forward in this ex- tremely stremely uncomfortable horizontal position. Nevertheless, armed only with a light, the leve prop- wed to insinuate himself between the rafters and gingerly approached the area from which he believed the sounds had 'emanated. Exploration of the first sec- tion yielded nothing. A bar- rier between the original building and a subsequent extension further hampered the Reeve's progress because at this point the only access to the rest of the area was through a t small open- ing, no bigger than a pocket- book. Moving forward cautiously the Reeve lifted his head to peer through the aperture, and suddenly found himself confronting the intruder, face to face, eye to eye. There revealed in the lamplight was the culprit - one small red squirrel! Before the Reeve could move another inch the little creature backed to a safe distance and a formal en- quiry requesting an explana- tion of his presence met with some uicomprehensible .ex- pletives concluding with something that sounded remarkably like "Niet, niet". Now here was a very serious situation. Returning to the living room the Reeve had to consider his many responsibilities to the village, as well as the viola- tion of his privacy. References of the media to "reds under the beds" had political undertones, but what about "reds in the at- tic"? Was it possible for an enemy agent to assume the guise of _a squirrel? What was the next step? But Mrs. Reeve, showing a practical application of the old saw that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and was busily engaged in baiting a squirrel trap with luscious lumps of peanut butter generously studded with crisp, crunchy peanuts. The lure was placed in a strategic position and wham - unable to overcome the most basic of animal "in - stints, the capitalistic greed for acquisition of the goodies of this world secured another victim. What action should be taken next was something of a dilemma since the Reeve did not feel able to proceed to summary execution. Likewise the abolition of cor- poral punishment being no longer acceptable - what was to be done? Fortunately, the Reeve's next door neighbour was at hand. This was the answer. Not only cotild he .speak the lingo, but he had considerable experience , in the field of military in- telligence. The prisoner was interviewed, but apart from revealing that his name was Comrade Ivan Ivanovitch, resoh telt' refused to answer any questions concerning his activities in the attic. ® It was at this point that the Reeve was struck by an ap- propriate solution to the pro- blem. There was no doubt that the weather outside was putting on a pretty good im- itation of that, to be found in the wastes of Siberia, and so it was only a matter of minutes to start up the car and transport the prisoner to Capsules of wisdom • some lonely and desolate location, maybe gigglier to that from which he had originated. But that was not Quite the end of the story because the noises recurred and this time led td the discaveayof an accomplice - Comrade Maria Ivanova- She prompt- ly romlptly received the sante treat- ment reatment and to date there has The hardest thing about skating is the ice - when you come right down to it. + + + Nature ick generous. When we reach the sitting -around stage of life, she provides us with more cushions. been no further evidence of espionage activities in the attic. Thereis, of course, another possible explanation and that is that the two little "reds" were merely seeking political asylum For the mo- ment the mystery remains unsolved, but, just in case - do watch out for agents in the attic! Lampoonery ny Bad Sturgeon Winter was getting us down Last week so on the spur ' oi'thesnioment we decided to take a.little side trip to the Sun Parlour of Ontario. Underneath all that Detroit smog lies an unblemished little harslet called Windsor, and that's where we went. After carefully loading the Toyota on Friday night, four of us snuck quietly out of Bayfield on the new blanket of snow, headed for blacktop adventure. It was snowing fairly heavy and travel was slow. Just north of Thamesville we wondered if we shouldn't turn back because the squall was so dense, visibility was cut to nil at times. However, we forged on and it cleared up by the turn at Betty's Saloon. Everybody had the hungries so I detoured towards Ridgetown and found a neat little truck 'stop called Danny's or Daniel's or something, where everybody had a brushcut and wore oversized galoshes. It was like the 1950's. The waitress advised against the peaches and cot- tage cheese and laughed out loud 'when I ordered a muffin, a cheese omelet and a shake. I always said, "Order an egg in a strange restaurant, even a rotten cook can't do much to spoil it". Frankly after the laugh, I was worried, but it turned out A -OK. Barb was the less fortunate of the foursome after ordering a burger and fries with gravy. It was the kind of place or I should say, seemed to be the kind of place where fries with gravy are cheaper than fries without. We dined for under $10 and the service was great. Racks of key fobs and souvenirs made the decor complete. Eventually, we made Windsor before midnight with little excitement. There were a few cars in the ditch along the 401 but that's to be effected because of ,,poor driving habits it the winter. No sooner had we arrived than it was time to leave on Sunday. We did manage to fit five hours off shopping, a sightseeing tour, an Italian dinner, a hockey game, a case of Buckeye and a couple of movies into the day' however. You wouldn't believe the snow on the streets of Windsor, they never plow it and it's worse than Bayfield if you can imagine. Off we went on Sunday with no gas in the tank and counted the kilometres somebody was going to have to. walk if we ran out before the service centre at Tilbury. The car sputtered along the way but we made it. After putting the car up as collateral and handing over a goodly sum of told hard cash, the attendant pumped in a little petrol at 35 cents a litre. And who says gas sta- tions aren't ripping people off? So on and on we went heading towards Chatham where we figured on holing up at the Wheel's Inn overnight. Nora kept asking how far it was and when we would get there, and looking out the window at a herd of cat- tle, commented, "Oh look, there is 'so and so's' fami- ly." Two minutes later we entered the metropolis and had a choice of eating at MacDonalds, Wendys or the Burgerpuke, so we opted for H. Salt Fish and Ships. }I had a Pirate Dinner. Barb was the less fortunate as she ordered plain fish without chips. At the Wheek we had a mini-olympics atter a few snorts of rye and saki. We bowled ten pin, played billiards, racketball, went skating and did things. I'll tell you it was a tough weekend because I didn't win many of the games. It was always three against one and I was the one. It just goes to show they respect me for my superio7 athletic ability. We dined at the motel and Barb was the less fortunate by ordering a steak even though Tin had the special, liver and onions. It was good but we decided to drown it with a fifty and a Spanish coffee just in case. And that was about all that happened on an unevent- ful winter weekend in the snow. Once arrived back in Bayfield we immediately got stuck in a snow drift. l guess that was only fitting. Would we go and do it again? You're damn right we would, when do you want to leave' CLINTON NEWS—RECORD, Z, JANUARY 22, 1%1—PAGE 11 The Bayfield Bullets hockey team played an intra -squad warm-up game in preparation for the upcoming tour namen! (Bud Sturgeon photo 1 Lakers swamp Hawks in weekend match The. dim names ,sounded more familiar as baseball teams, but assuredly the game was hockey last Satur- day night at the Bayfield Arena. The Bluewater Lakers downed the Bayfield Knighthawks by a narrow 7-5 margin in the game. Scoring details were not available. The two baseball teams turned hockey clubs Buckeyes win • frons page 10 making the allstar team this year are: Pat Bedard, Gerald Weido, Kirn McKin- non and John Graham. Un- fortunately, John Graham will be unable to play due to prior commitments but he will be replaced by rookie will ,image each other in Zurich at a later date for the rummber match. Rink Mire -7 - Oldtimers 7 The race for the Loogan Cup continued last Saturday night at the Bayfield Arena as the Rink Mice ended their season long tailspin with a hard fought 7-7 tie against the Oldtimers_ defenceman Kris Bedard. The game will get underway at 8 p.m. The Buckeyes are they, idle until they play in a tourna- ment in Forest in a week's time. The next scheduled game is at home against the Forest Boyds on February 1. BURGESS DEPT. STORE Romping _. Rhea's four goals led the Mice who took advantage of the absence of several key players from the Oldtimer lineup, including their leading scorer and all round nice guy, Larouche. The game this Saty will be delayed dighttly because of the broomball tournament, but will be played nonetheless. Neons welcome Rev, Bennett back Members of the congrega- tion were happy to welcome back the Rev. Wan- whe officiated at the ser- vices evicaes at Tasty and St. Jaws Following the cid condi- tis of the previous week, the clnrvb beating system now has been the benefits of which were ob- vious atSunday's warm ser- vice. Thanks erviae to the generosi- ty of a p tyofaf ,anew stove has also been installed in the Parish Hall to replace the essiclieig one, which had been found to be beyond repair. Finally, a further reminder that the vestry meeting will take place: on Thursday, Jannary 29 at 6.3 0 psn, in the parish hall_ Followinga pot -luck supper, the business will include the election of officers for 1901, presentation of reports, and — for MATERNITY WEAR NOW ON SALE© The Separate Shoppe MAIN CORNER. CLINTON 402-11/8 . ;NEXT TO CAMPBELL 'S MEN S WEAR) OPEN I-5.30 OPEN I-5:30 021703 GREAT WINTER CLEARANCE ALL WINTER WEAR SKI SUITS, COATS JACKETS Clinton Cleaners is EXPANDING OUR SERVICE! 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