Clinton News-Record, 1983-02-16, Page 28PAGE 8 RI ES EDITION 133
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Remember those
fatuat ,r. i :,ys of gir
when, pen in hand, you
would dreamily write the
name of you most recent
bean with a neatly -penned
"Mrs." preceding it?
What little girl does not
dream of the day when she
will become, for example,
Mrs. Michael Evans? Well,
it just might be that little
girls of the '60s no longer
think along these lines.
It is no longer the excep-
tional woman who, once
she's married, decides to
keep her maiden name. This
is a trend which has become
increasingly common
among American women in
recent years.
Women are more assertive
these days. And, with more
than 50 percent of American
women in the work force, it
is frequently more practical
from a professional point of
view to keep the maiden
name.
This is not to say that all
s in
an -
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'61 Orange Street, Clinton
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ty!
women are retaining their
maiden names. A marred
woman has several options,
as was pointed out recently
an Brides magazine.
Taking the husband's
name as by far the most
popular choice among mar-
ried women. If you are Janet
Grayson, for example, you
will pro :. bly become Mrs.
Michael Evans or, more
commonly, Mrs. Janet
Evans. (Strict etiquette
would have held you to Mrs.
Michael Evans in former
times; today, however, Mrs.
Janet Evans is quite accep-
table.)
If you like your maiden
name, and for whatever
reasons, decide you want to
keep it, by all means do so.
Becoming .'Mrs. His -Name"
is custom, not law, Bride's
points out, except in Hawaii,
where a woman is legally re-
quired to take her husband's
name.
You may Choose to lead a
dual existence: one as Ms.
Janet Grayson ( most likely
for professional peroses),
the other as Mrs. Janet
Evans. Both names are
legally recognized, as long
as you carry dual identifica-
tion.
A popular solution to the
identity dilemma is to
hyphenate both names, in
this case becoming Mr. and
Mrs. Grayson -Evans. This
does not necessitate a cou-
ple's going through legal
proceedings.
An important considera-
tion for the newly -married
woman, Bride's points out, is
to establish credit in her own
name.
Use one name — either
Janet Grayson or Janet
Grayson Evans — in all your
financial dealings_ Have
your own bank and charge
accounts, and expect to be
treated as an individual. If
you do open any kind of joint
account, insist that creditors
keep separate files on both
you and your husband.
Advice for remarrying
Nearly 30 percent of all
marriages today are remar-
riages. But the number of
remarriages isn't all that's
•
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growing, says Bride's
magazine. So is the spirit of
celebration.
Traditionally, couples em-
barking on second and third
marriages faced strong
pressure to keep the wedding
a small, quiet affair bearing
little resemblance to a first
wedding. Etiquette books ad-
dressed the subject with an
abundance of negatives:
"The remarrying bride does
not wear white:" "A second
engagement is never an-
nounced in the newspapers."
All that's changed, says
Bride's. The emphasis now
is a lot less on rules, a lot
more on the importance of
sharing a joyful new beginn-
ing surrounded by family
and friends.
Some of Bride's sugges-
tions for a remarrying cou-
ple:
• As the bride, be just a lit-
tle bit selfish at this time.
Wear an engagement ring.
Indulge in a beauty day at
the salon — complete with
lavish haircare, facial, and
manicure. You deserve it
all!
o Feel free to marry in the
outfit of your choice. The
traditionally simple, cream -
colored suit is still lovely -
but so is a romantically long
and lacy gown, in white or
your favorite color.
The only accessory best
omitted, suggests Bride's, is
the veil — long a symbol of
youth. A more sophisticated
choice might be a dramatic
picture hat, cloche, or
wreath of fresh or silk
flowers.
• If either of you has
children, try to include them
in as many plans as you can.
As Barbara Tober, Editor -
in -Chief of Bride's says, "If
children will be part of your
marriage, why not make
them part of your wedding?"
They'll feel especially im-
portant playing a role in
your ceremony — depending
on their ages, they can be
ring bearers or flower girls,
bridesmaids, ushers, or
honor attendants.
• Make your reception as
extravagant a party as you
wish, complete with all the
wedding traditions — a
receiving line, the "first
dance", the ceremonial cut-
ting of the cake, and a cham-
pagne toast.
A warm way to welcome
guests is to head up the
receiving line yourselves
rather than leaving it to your
parents. They, in turn, will
be free to circulate among
guests. ,'
• Don't feel a honeymoon
isn't necessary "this time
around." Getting married is
tiring, even if you've been
through it before. How to fit
in some rest and relaxation
around children?
If possible, plan a trip just
for the two of you first, then
a "group honeymoon" so
you'll all feel like a family.
Giving of rima..
from ps _;e 5
ceremony. It's to be hoped
that the love felt by the two
people married in such a
way was more lasting than
the bride's possession of the
wedding ring.
For bride and groom
And, what of a ring for the
groom? Is today's increas-
ingly popular double ring
ceremony a phenomenon of
the 20th century? With This
Ring says, not necessarily,
and cites the case of a man
named Nicholas Blundell
who, way back in 1703, pur-
chased two rings — one for
himself as well as one for his
bride-to-be.
And this, very simply, is
an idea which more and
more people are beginning to
feel "runs rings" around the
more traditional one where
the bride only receives a
wedding ring from her,
groom.
The iexchange of rings
parallels the exchange of
vows, and is the symbol of
the deep mutual commit-
ment both partners have
made. What could be more
romantic?