HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1972-03-09, Page 23Ann Lenders ° says...
�7r +
Short fuse'
problem.
Dear'Ann Landers:
I am continually surprised by
s your childlike faith „in counseling
as a prattical .-solution to
problems. I speak as a,physician
assiciated with Boston City
Hospital.
• For example, your relily to,thre•
letter about ,a, mother's.- brutal
treatment of her little ,girl, en
,oWalking-ay-to
r a-t�•a
ut « •bus��stop: �.
that angry mother and telling' her
she needs counseling would be as,
effective as telling a sinner he .
needs salvation. What the woman
needed to be told in no-nonsense
terms was to'cut out the karate
1r and 'then some cold, hard facts
about battered -child laws. That
mother sounded sub -human. She
wouldn't even • know what
"counseling" means. She
WOULD, however; understand
cops, laws; and jail.
Furthermore, Ann, you know
effective counseling requires an
intelligent, cooperative subject
who• is reasonably well -matched
to at' therapist.
While counseling may be the
correct long-term, text -book
solution to the problem, it is,.not
practical 'for the masses. We
expect workable advice from you,
Ann, not pie -in -the -sky stuff.—No
Identification Please
Dear No I.D.: You have a point,
Doctor, but I'm not convinced
•' you're right. To threaten any
stranger on the street (to,.,say
nothing of a'mother who is already
angry and out of control) with.ops
and jail might not prodtice•- the
desired results. -It would,.•
undoubtedly make the-worrian-
Y "more circumspect about hitting
her kid publicly, but it would not
solve her basic problem, which is
a short fuse.
You say the woman' is sub-.
human. Not .necessarily. Rare
indeed is the mother who has not
at least once• in her 'life been
pushed beyond the limit 'of her
endurance and let her kid have it. I
recall vividly the time it happened
to me—nearly 20 years agog -=acid
I stiil feel ashamed when I think of.
it, •
Counseling, in my opinion, is
still the best solution to this' kind'
of a problem. I have no,guarantee
that an angry, frustrated mother;
would `b e`t'`t i't I e t r1Y`rtl�re'
but optirnism is part of my nature
and I will continue to•give it. '
Lear Ann Landers: My wife and
I celebrated our,.' 50th wedding
-anniversary last week, We were
married in our teens and areboth
under 70, which these days is not
really old.
Both of us enjoy your column
and often laugh over it together. I
have a question which I hope you
can answer in the, paper. I don't
want to go into detail but I need to
know -in just .a few' words, what
people our age should be doing
about sex? -Floridian
Dear Flor: Enjoying it.
Dear Ann Landers: My .sister
and I want your opinion. We both
have young children. Velma 'feels
.. that, wherr,.her child .is .invited' to.a
birthday party and there areether
children in the family, it is' a good
idea to bring a little gift:for each
of them. I do not agree. 1 feel the
birthday child should not have the
glory of his day diminished. Wiry
appease and•cater to the other
children? They ought to be willing
to let a brother or Sister be the
center of attraction one day of the
year. How about it, Ann? Whos
• right?—Verbiage In Vancouver -
4 Dear Verb; There are valid
arguments on both sides. I do. not
feel --that- a-- yOung
bring gifts for the brothers or
sisters of the birthday child. Buta
granny or an aunt might bring just
a trifle—something for the little
hands to unwrap.
DEAR ANN LANDERS: I was
'interested in your advice to
women who wish to .remain
youthful looking: "Stop baring in
the sun," you warned, According
to you, Ann, suntan lotions won't,
prevent skin damage that shows
up in Yater years. You said,
"Today's' , beautiful tan is
tomorrow's wrinkled face."
I was inthe front row when you
spoke at the Indiana Bar
Association Dinner last year and
your skin looked remarkable for a
woman past 50. Have you ever had
a face lift or did you take your own
advice and stay out of the sun?-,-
NOSEY ROSIE
M DEAR ROSIE: fi tiaVe never had
a face lift but I HAVE stayed out of
the sun. Twenty-eight years ago
when we lived''in New Orleans, a ,
derrtitologist noticed my deep
mahogany tan. Instead of
complimenting 'me, 'as most
people did, he warned, me� to stop
baking my skin or I'd regret it. I
listened.
•
•
t'
4
irP
, �h
•
A
example, you said in a recent
column: "lam not against breast
feeding. I suppdr't it,recommend
it and applaud it. The breast-fed
baby has , a head .start, both,s
physically "
and emotionally...
No one has proved (although
many have tried) that . breast-fed
• babies are healthier or bettor
' grounded emotionally, than bottle
�
recerttresearch at
the. ' University , of Wisconsin
proved'that babies don't even need
_a mother, mucbA s a breast. In
an experiment:3vith m"dlr�,''ttey,
absented the mother and put in her,
place a broomstick with a mop's
head attached. The baby monkey
didn'teven know the difference.
All he needed was something to
hang on to. So let's not perpetuate
that old wives' tale about.
mothers''n3ilk. The son, I nursed
is the most poorly adjusted of our
three children. Sign me -No
Thanks for the Mammories
. Dear Mammy: One of the most
emotionally charged'battles of the
last 25 years emerged from this
issue: To nurse or not to rfurse,
that is the question.,Whether 'tis
nobler to get up at 4:00 a.m. to
provide mother's milk or will a
bottle do just as well? •
I consulted five pediatricians
and „received four • different
answers. Three physicians urged
me to help destroy the myth that
mother'asmilk protects the baby
againstchildbotA diseases. They
all agreed that i.t h
is not so much'
whether• a mother nurses, her
infant, but how she feels about it
„„.;,that counts. If it's a labor of love
thb baby.will reap rich rewards. If
not—forget it. Doctor Number
Four asked me to tos's in some
additional advice which might be
more than you want to know. on the
subject: He said, "Please tell
your women readers, Ann, "that
there is no truth to the old yarn
that nursing mothers can't get
pregnant. They CAN and they DQ.
Often."
Dear Ann Landers: Can I get in
on the exchange between you" and
the 'reader's who were unhappy.
with your advice to "Forgive and
Forget?" Please count me as one'
°who"believes that -was"'t1 a best
advice you ever gave.
It issad how fe'w people
aa.. txiitlei st�alll �at'he ,°true ,ni rtfite-;,: , ,i
forgiveness. To forgive does not
mean that the transgressor goes
free and unscathed. He often
suffers more than if he 'had -been
,made, to do penance. •
Does „there exist a single
,person among us who has never
',made a mistake? We all know the
warmth and. gratitude that fills
our hearts when we are forgiven.
To forgive is a healing balm not
only.to the one who needs. to be •
forgiven but to the person who
• dties the forgiving. To keep a
wound open ' and festering` by
holding a grudge or .!refusing to
allow the wrongdoer to right
himself is 'not only .punitive but
self-destructive. SO; Ann, the one •
who forgives is being good to
himself as well as generous to the
person who needs to be forgiven.
This philosophy': runs through
your column like a shimmering,
golden thread. Thank you•for.
A Forgiver And A Forgetter
Dear Friend: Thank you 'for a
beautiful letter. I have never
believed in the Biblical line ".an
ti eye for an eye and a tooth for a
tooth." If eyeryone practiced this
philosophy we, Would eventually
have a worldof blind and toothless
people. �
" r
•
•4
TtDAYL!S CHILD
13Y HELEN ALLEN
THE TORONTO INJ S'ADICATE
SPORTS—MINDED
This young lad with friendly smile is Bill, 12 years old:' Anglo -
'Saxon in descent, he.is a.handsonte, healthy boy with light brown`
hair, green eyes and medium complexion. Thougho4tockily built, he
is rather:small for his age.
Bill is a shy boy, extremely diffident. in offering to,take part in
any activities though he joins in eagerly when others make the
own nd hRecently
ce t ly he became Aida member of a hockey team on his
suggestion.
was both surprised and
'delighted at this evidence of gr`owr g seif=confience.ur
This lad takes to all sports."He plays baseball in the slimmer and
at school has played both football and soccer. In the summer he
attended day` camp which he enjo-yed very much.
Bill is a. pleasant, co-operative boy who gets on well with
• Children his own age, With thm he is much more outgoing than with
adults. He is having some difficulties with his work in Grade 5 and ,.
is waiting to get ' into an opportunity class. Though not ;
academically inclined, he enjoys some :aspects Of .school. He is
imaginative 'and 1,kes being in plays ` and doing projects.•
Physical education is his favorite subject. '.
4
r•+
GO ERI S1GNAM-$TIAf,
It's only a matter of time.
In the st 'generation; Joe
Nobody, you and 1, have
suffered from every con-
ceivable type „of striker that
the warped little human
mind can conceive.
You name it: from °dock -
wallopers to doctors,, from
technicians • to teachers,
everybody seems to have
had. a whack.at" trying to
.strangle a few more bucks
or privile e.:outoL_
F ... . -Che;innp--
cent by-stander. That's you"
and 1.
l'm getting 'pretty sour
about the whole nonsense.
Somehow, • I can't fathom
either the econgrnics'of the
ethics of a man who is ,
worth $1.25 an hour, and is ..
getting $2.75, demanding
that he be paid $4.00 and
arfother $2.00 in fringe
benefits.
Strikes are annoying,
frustrating and usually
point1' ss, in these days. The
worker gets' a raise and it
takes. him two years to get
back to where he was, finan-
,rrially. The employer merely
raises his prices, or taxes.
The rest of us get it in two
painful places; the neck and
the pocket -book.
But' that's all common
knowledge, and beside' the
point. One of these fine
days, the most potent work
force in` -Me -country is going
to realise what a powerful
weapon is the strike, and hit'
the picket line.
When it does, we'll, look
back with nostalgia and
longing to the good old days
.when a strike merely meant
you couldn't. take that trip,
,or there was a shortage of
sanitary °napkins, or , some
� 4� efrnilar calamity was thrust
Bill very much' needs the security •and support Of a family who
will encourage him to realize his abilities. and help him develop self
confidence without pressure for academic excellence. To inquire
about adopting Bill, please write to Today's Child, Station K,,Tor
.onto. For general adoption information ask your Children's Aid
Society. ,
L
*hen
..v _4:<� w... .4-11A-4
When You Shop• Say . .
• I SADA/•.W--
If IN`THE
----.,;•- -
oOwN-SPOUTS, EAVES=
" TROUGHS - IN NEED
OF THESE
, WE DO
, SHEET' METAL
' WORK TO
PLEASE
-r--
Ln,'AL'MAMMA KK
P'IbMBIIiG
& HEATING
• —' - S5 KINGSTON ST. '
OPEN SATURDAYS
>4
HOME OWNE
REDUCE PAYMENT$,:
BY AS MUCH AS HALF
upon •us.
-. That will be -the day the
housewives or the country,
inflamed by Women's,,
dull husbands, and rotten
kids, walk out the doors de-
anding more money, bet-
ter working conditions, and
vast fringe benefits.
That will be a day that
will make the present vast
tie-ups due '.to strikes look
like tiddleywinks. That will
be a day that :might signal
the end of civilization as we
know it.
I'm not kidding, and I'm
definitely 'not exaggerating.
If the housewives of this
nation , withdrew such ele-
mentary items as cooking
and cleaning, sex• and sewing
from our olives, the whole
foundation of our society
would collapse;
Not' immediately, of
course., For perhaps two
days, husbands would chor-
tle, "She'll * skin',. conte
aroltrnd.She . knows'when
she has ,S'o
;od; 0ltillig%�`;.,And•:;
kids would roar with laugh-
ter., "Is your •old lady on
this, strike kick too? It's a
dot. But she :won't -last. She
needs, us."
After •a week, the .eom-
ments would change Cone."
Husbands: "What the hell'is'
wrong with that -crazy wo-
man? 1'e given her the best
years of my life." And kids:
'Look, if she doesn't come
back, 'she's in for trouble. I
haven't had ,'a decent meal
-ea
URS AY. MA4C11 O.
1 .*,�!' ' L! I AT r
THE FRONT ;R
or a clean pivot socks for
days. And Dad is getting
nasty. Wants rued to do the
dishes and garbage like
that."
In two weeks the "inno-
•,-cent , bystanders" ,.would,be'
on their knees, And the gar-.
bage would be up, to their
knees.. ittsbands: "Listen, p, en, kid.
You gp ,out' and tell your
another ' that !'11 give her
�.,_r'1;h•-lollars a
..month. to blow qn' herself.
"Sky's the limit." Kids: "LIS -
ten • Dad, this is an your
fault. We need that woman,,
even if . she. is only our
N " mother. All:our buttons are
off, and the `sink's full of
dishes, and ,the dishes are
full of .crud."
1na-month, the hospitals
and the mental institutions
would be overflowing` The
take-home chicken joints
and the delicatessens would
be booming but the super.
..:. markets would be heeding
for bankruptcy. FaMily
axe -murders would be• ao
common they "wouldn't
even rate *.two inches on;
Page 38,
,There's only 'one, thing,
that, will ,prevent this Fate,
• strophe. A3,,, we ` ail know1,
housewives,, are extreme ine
dividualists. They .nen't even
agree on the texture off" toil,
let taper. 'How
agrees • on such delicate
tars as fringe benefitsr•!Some.
'would want forty cents to
sew on a button;, others
would; -settle for a..quarter.
And if ;they did form a
Union, it would take them
twelve years to draw up the
constitution, and everyone
would want to be president.
So relax, -,you neglectful.
husbands and demanding
kids. We're probably safe.
But give the whole idea a
long, deep thought.. •
GIVE GENEROUSLY DURING THE ..
E
• •
MONDAY, MARCH 1 3
SATURDAY,'ARCH 1 s
The Goderich Campaign is being sponsored ' by the Maple Leaf
Chapter of the LO.D.E., assisted ' by Volunteer Canvassers from
other service organizations of the town. _
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You as home owner are now eligible for a low cost second
or third -Mortgage loan from $2,,000 to $25,000 at reduced
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Find out how a low cost home owner loan can ' pay all .your
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A'v IS.•�ng rF a;rVf'.`:•
Dear ,Ann Landers: You're
wrong again. How do you hold your
job? ° I am. infuriated by the.,
cavalier manner .,inn which you
state,''facts" which are not facts
al all -just opinions. Por
i
GOING
CRAZY 5
on
your
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VVoeitdaiy.t � a.nt_. to 84 p.m. 'Saturdays g' a.m, to, 5 pail.,
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LtBhthbUs@,: Sty .,, , Phone 524 461
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WOMEN S WORK 7',
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DO YOU KNOW .. .
OUTPOST HOSPITALSANo
HEALTH CENTRES Ritz
C QS1' hosaitals,and hk8lth
Cert'e • I ,c t
y aR , 8.801n nCt1Y•
ern and rnrthwoSte ,
Onti' D They 4,1(5( 441
emergent' y heath set vl{ t•*
le fatlying 311435
•
1 The London Area Blood Bank, of which Goderich district is ' a pal
cost the Red Cross over $60,000 to operate lasts year. •
2- The Red Cross supplied' more than 10,000 bottles of blood fres in our
area last year.
3 Hospital beds and wheel chairs are supplied free of charge by the Red
Cross Loan Cupboard for Goderich area residents.
4 Goderich veterans in military hospitals are; given free movies and the Red
Cross lodges provide accommodation -for visitingwives.
—5 -,Swimming- and -water -safety tests -are -conducted -in thisarei -by -thsr'-Reit
Cross. Instructors are provided for the local program by your Red Cross`,_
6 Handicrafts are taught free' in military hospitalti to veterans by the
Red Cross.
. In time of disaster, throughout ,the world, you are there
to help through your Red Cross contribution.
THIS YEAR THERE WILL BE A
H QU SE -T
CANVASS
n THERE 'WI4L BE. 'NO CA14{SA§S INDUSTiCk,i
If a Red Cross canvasser does. not contact you at your home, leave
-your donation at any Bank or Trust Company in Goderich or call Virg.
E'. Curry at 52476112. •°