The Goderich Signal-Star, 1970-05-07, Page 20gDEMou S. GNAL*ARR, "L �r ` RS SAY, MAY' ums 7,1970•
ocutt
BY G. MacLEOD R SS •
You are unlikely, to be as
conversant with military
obituaries as I aro, so you will
lt`laveto take' my word for it that
regimenital journals invariably
containxdry•as-bone accounts Of
old soldiers; soldiers Who
perhaps remember Roberts
Sahib; who sat at the feet . of
Kitchener , of Khartum, or
scouted for Baden-Powell in
1VI•afeking. Ihave always felt how
• far. short :they fall to give the
true flavour ofthe mourned. Of
what interest the arid recital of
the appointments held? . More
especially when no hint is given
of successes or failures; no word
of aspirations and least of -all of
the soldier himself. Isn't` it
possible to crystallize something
of the character of the man?
Some clue as to the charm which
endeared him to his peers, no
less than to his subordinates? To
illustrate my meaning, here are
some recollections of a most
attractive character who was
killed returning from . the
Casablanca Conference in 1943;
when the plane, which carried
him, crashed in flames.
At this late date I am not
quite sure when Vivian Dykes
'arrived in Bannu in:the North
West Frontier Province 'of what
.4 is now called Pakistan. I believe
it was the summer of 1921. The
Government of India was in the
process of gestating a road to
. •Razmak •in another half hearted
attempt ..to .��contain ... the
;rt'ecacitrantsuds. dykes
°p brought] up a Signal- Section to
refurbish and increase , the
communications from Bannu, up
the Tochi valley to Isha, • Idak,
Dardoni,-._S yai one th nee. to
Datta .Khei fort. After all,
8 -gauge, telegraph wire was metal
'arid- metal was the_ lifeblood of
several` Kohat rifle .factories, run
(as we say in Canada) by Pathans
for Pathans.
During the Afghan war of
1919, , we. had been forced to
withdraw from many of our
outlying posts, due to the ;
mutinies of the Militia garrisons,
after_ which the wire disappeared
lice snow in summery The Royal
Corps of Signals was still but' a
'clea'm in the eye of the War
Office and all commdnications
troops were still officered by
Sappers,
Vivian joined the summer
Mess ' we ran in the A.C.R.E.'s
bungalow; the incumbent having
gone to Gulmarg in Kashmir to
knock'a few balls about. Because •
he was an extrovert of the first
water, we soon got to ' know
Vivian and found thatbehind
the facade of a very efficient
officer, there lurked a mimic, a
huinourist and an entertainer of
high order, with a pronounced
sense of the ludicrous. He had a
photographic memory which
assimilated languages with .ease.
Just then,. having qualified in
Gurkhali, so that he could
converse with his Gurkha
drivers, he was busy with
Pushtu, Very few could have
,worked all day • in 'the dripping
humidity of a Bannu- summer
and then returned to sit with a
munshi night after night.
Needless to say he got his first
class interpretership and in later
years also qualified in Italian.
Apart from the lines up the
Tochi. Valley,; he was responsible
for the manning of the 'Bannu
civil telegraph office, which
adjoined the Dak bungalow,, or
Rest House, where some of us
existed. There were employed
some ten Muslim civilian
telegraphists, who sat together in
a stifling room, under ceiling
fans, each at his key. They were
supervised by a Hindu Babu of
the • I-ndian Telegraph
° Department. From time to ,time
this staff went beserk, whether
from the awful climate, or. just
Blain animal joie de vivre, was
never . determined. Their
conduct, bordering on
insubordination, • caused the
Babu . constant anguish. So it
happened that the first time we
had an example •of Vivian's
--pow :mimicry was :when _he
-•reronstiu cted:� :his-„ interview' with
the Babu, after the latter had
complained • of the complete
abandon of his subordinates. `For
the purposes of this replay;
Vivian' -s chameleon -propensities
enabled him to become the
Babu: "But -Sir! These men, they
jeer; . they do not listen. They
chatter teeth and -spit betel make
face and rude noise. Take care I
warn them; you will•,go too far.
Last night they all run out
screaming and dance naked on
tennis court. Sir What to do?
How to stop this wild men?"
The 'outcome of these high
• jinks was that the Signals
Quartermaster sat in with them.
' 'He ' • could- read five keys
chattering at " -once and thus
could tell which one was talking
to a Bhaibund down the line and
who was working • h pukka
message.
When •Vivian went t�
Kalabagh on the Indus river to
-bring up more stores lie returned
in the empty train on the metre
gauge railway. Just short of
Lakki Marwat Junction the train
had to slow down to a walking
pace when it faced the grade.
This failing was well known to
the ,z Pathanlog and as often
before, a crowd was waiting at
the critical point of impotence.
The speed having be 'sufficieii tly
reduced, this crowd, with -one
coorddbbed-th
open the doors and filled all the
carriages. Those -for whom there
was no room inside, swarmed on
to the roofs of the carriages,
whereupon the unfortunate
locomotive, ,gave out a sigh of
utter exhaustion and came to'a
stop.._ The fat 4Hindu North
Western Railway ' guard
dd4
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524-8787
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descended from his caboose and
came running along the track
shouting: "Nickelo.! Nickelo!!
Nickelo • bhai", and of course
failed to get the slightest
response. After much effort and
reasoning,, enough ,. were
persuaded to leave the carriages,
sufficient to permit the train to
move, but as soon as its pace
accelerated, the , Pathans •.•
alongside rushed it and resumed
their places. The train came tone
halt: There were more pleadings;
more "Nickeljao ,bhai", the
meaning of Which was probably
as little understood , by the.
Pathans asby my readers. Dyko,
solitary in his compartment, had
watched this performance and
was getting fed up with the
delay. He got out and addressed
the motley crowd of men,
women and children in Pushtu,
promising that if they would
allow the • train, to crest the
grade, he would see that it
waited for them. He climbed
back, leaving a number on the
ground and ., the train made
another effort. But just as a dog
cannot resist food, so the crowd,
convinced this was -a trick,
mobbed the train again and
brought it to, a standstill. Dyko,
the only European on the train,
dismounted once•' more and
brandishing his revolver,
persuaded a sufficient number to
get off. To instil the necessary
confidence -he too remained with
them.. By this means the grade
was made, but long before Lakki
Marwat _station , was reached, _all
n i e: hoar�desw f :free-3oariers had
disappeared- -into •-the -.hills.
Recounting this experience
Dyko successively became the '
Hindu • guard, the locomotive
sighing to a halt the Pathan
crowd and finally himself: It was
a masterly performance and a
trip you ought CO' take yourself
one day.—
From
ay.-•From Bannu Dyko went to
Rawalpindi where, en route for
Kashmir,u. I spent the night with.
,
him at the • Signals Mess.. I was
fortunate as they'; were dining
the Commander -in -Chief. *2.
that night and decorum was in
the air; at least during the earlier
part ". cif the evening. After the
port had circulated and all had
retired to the ante -room, Dyko
' decided they had better give the
•C. in C. something to remember
them by. So, with some of his
• cohorts, • they procured some
Signals bicycles and put on what
they called "Trick . BikeS".
Having divested himself of his
Mess jacket, Dyko proceeded to
lead a hilarious, cross-country
ride over divans, sofas, and easy
chairs, ° accompanied by
numerous spills redolent 'of
Beecher's Brook in the Grand
National. This spectacle reduced
the C: in C. to a condition
bordering an apoplexy. That he.
recalled it whenever he ran into' -
Dykes proves how effective it
41.
ilitary obitu
had done a year at Cambridge to
their Mechanical Science
obtain th is c ence
Tripos. The broader stage of the
School of Military Engineering
and the Headquarter Mess .it�elf, '
offered Dyko not only the
terrain, but the audience,.so that
he was encouraged , to diversify
his *considerable • histrionic
talents. '
A very catty favourite was
R.S.M. Bright, a huge man who
drilled us. on the Square. Puffing
out his chest in an attempt to
simulate Bright's 250 pounds
plus, Dyko would declaim: "It is
not necessary—to ,have the voice
of a bull: in order•to-do good
drill. All that is necessary..;."
'It was on guest nights that
Dyko was really seen to
advantage. Today • you may
enjoy Rich Little or' Marcel-
Marceau,- but in 1925 we had
Dyko doing one of his most
famous pr�otearkacts: Inoculating
-
a line of mules. In this
extravaganza he became
successively the vet, the mule
and 1 am not sure that he did
not impersonate, the
hypodermic. I can see him as the
Vet, going along the line of
rumps,. left hand stroking the
.posteriors to reassure them,
secreting the hypodermic as he
went, next quickly jabbing it
into the flank of the mule.
Changing to the mule, he would
produce the wild kicks ' and
prapcings' of the animal. You
remark that you see nothing
funny in that? Well perhaps you
_have not _looked ._upon .the
--vintage when,.it-wascimson
• -There was the•oecssion;when'
Professor - Inglis of Cambridge
University Engineering' Faculty,
who fathered the Sapper courses
' there, - wase. tertained at the
Mess at Chatham: Long -before
the , day; Dyko and his
_companions in crime, decided
they would put on a
Convocation `' and confer an
honorary -degree on Inglis after
dinner. Assuming the role of,the
Public Orator, Dyko concocted a
very {funny ' peroration - in
pig=Latin, which had the effect
of - reducing Inglis to
incoherence., I regret I cannot
quote from the original pig -skin,
because Inglis insisted •on taking
it with him. " "-
There was one man at
Chatham named' Sam Baker
whc, together with another,
known by' Dykes as "the
virtuous . eccentric _ and yet
another, known as ` Hari Singh,
*6, -all of .whom were a constant
source - of inspiration. As far as
most of us were concerned in
the' type :of jungle warfare Which
went - for a Supplementary
' Course, Baker's main claim to
. fame was his ability to -produce a
guffaw of public address
dimension. Throat specialists;
even ' teachers of voice would
have beenintrigued had they
been able to fathom the secret -cut his ,act and leave the stage,
' control. - ; only.withyet
of � his volume ort ol. The .y to' b�' greeted y t
devastating effects of this first another barrage of guffaws.
came to notice at the Ghyatharn With the whole house rolling
Music Hall. We are talking now in• the •aisles and the curtain rung
of 1925, when the standardof,., down,, the manager ' would
variety turn was not high, even • appear out of the gloom and we
then; certainly not a4 Chatham. .would . be escorted to the exit.
What usually occbirred was that With the exuberance Of, youth
after a few turns of juggling or these visits became a weekly
trick bikes, a straightcomedian routine; lots were drawn as to
would • come on stage. Sam who should treat Sam to the
would be sitting up in the circle show. where,'his presence once
'with Hari . Singh, Dyko and spotted by the crowd, he' wast:
myself. The coinedian would hailed as a guarantee of a good
make his opening sally. Dead .laugh, - -
silence! He would' reinforce it - Happy days these - for . a
with. some contrived inanity collection of Young Turks, all of
Sam, nudged ' by Hari 'Singh, whom h1ad cut their teeth in the
Italian, he became Viviano; it
appears that later oil he acquired -
another: Tumble'. Ian Jacob;
*8, his colleague, mentions this
in his diary, recounting how
Vivian would mimic the
C.I.G. S.'s, *b, "birdlike aspect
and fast clipped speech....his
constant habit, when. talking, of
shooting out - his tongue and
round -his lips with the speed of
a,chamn"
Vivianeleo, Bri.
tish' Secretary to
the Combined Chiefs of . Staff, -
was posthumously decorated by
the. President of the •.United -
States, but I do not know that
has ever been •buried, not that
would emit two staccato artof war during the years 1914
guffaws. • The audience iri the to 1924 in France and Belgium,
'immediate vicinity would tarn Mespot, Persia and Waziristan.
and goggle. The comedian would , Our adolescent experiences had
crack another vapid joke; Dyko not fitted us to welcome the
would gun Sam and if the bright new peace, and there
circumstances were favourable, seemed to linger 'about the
Sam would emit a quadruple establishment too much of the
guffaw which, achieving aura of the Crimea, the4Sudan,
resonance, permeated the whole Egypt, Peking and South Africa.
hall: By now the entire audience After all were we not
was alerted, even expectant, and surrounded by 'Gordon in his
we knew that Sam was "in Imperial yellow mandarin robes;
voice'. As the comedian drove by his Dragon Throne; on his
deeper into his material, it camel? By Kitchener.'s stern
would be sufficientdisdainful eye, 'looking down
for any one
of us • to make -some quip for from his life size portrait? We
Sam to give . off that awful could arouse no nostalgia for the
shattering bray, long before the steam tractors:of the Boer War,
comedian had reached his punch for we •had arrived with the birth
of `the internal combustion
line.
engine. •
The audience by now was This derisive •mockery 'of past
divided into two camps. 'Some equipment became typified by
thought it was part of the act _.anM engineer..store ..known.. -as _a
and avaYted~foor..Sam:to go..,down- - 4gabion!.::dt-•vsas•mucl used-ir he
ion
:the -,stage. .Others,. ,tike,: the,cyjnyea. when Dykrs--bee m fine''
of Hankey's, *7, boys at the
•Committee of Imperial- Defence,
he met me delightedly. one day
tO tell me he had ,looked up the
first`mhlute of the -first -meeting
of the Committee in
18-soffiething, when the order of
,the day had been Co approve the
issue of, 5000 gabions for the
defence of Heligoland.
I° have always , thought that
the possession of a - niclt me
was the hallmark' of a good
companion arid whilst inhis
earlier days we called him Dyko,
later when he went to live with.
an Italian general ' to learn
wor,i five seats away shouted:
"It's a cryin',shime! "'E cater be
ashamed of isself spoihn' a go80
show;'. There -were cries of:
"Woe's the idea ,smarty ." and a
growing roar of indignation, .
mixed with the sheer delight of
the vast majority, bid fair 'to
produce a shamblesJ`df the act.
The man -behind us bent over
and said: "Another of • those
hyena -like • laughs and I go
straight to the manager. Right?",
only to be squelched with` x
another quadruple bray.
The audience was now
thoroughly diverted. Each burst .
was reprised and Sam gave off a
few sextuple sallies which really
got the audience : going- From IIARBOUR LITE INN
then on it was sheer mayhem for • GODERICH
the comedian. He . stopped his -
act. Came to the front of the ANNUAL
stage ,, and made a tearjerking i
appeal for a fair hearing. Sam, MOLE - Dar
gunned again, gave off.a. series of -
triple and: quadruple brays in
quick • succession, which were
now greeted . by, shouts of
applause: Most of the audience
had turned to look up at the
circle and the comedian was.
forgotten for -the -much superior
show being enacted if! the circle.
The comedian again approached
„the footlights and threatened to
-BUFFET
DINNER
5-7:30 P.M.
Sunday, May . 10
Reservations:
' , _524-9371 or 524-9264 -
a, •
that would worry such 'an
endearing . and delightful
companion, such a very happy
warrior. * 1. Brigadier Vivian
Dykes. R. E. * 2. Field Marshal
Lod • Birdwood of Anzac. -
.* 3.Lt. Genl. Sir Harold
Williams. - KBE,CB, R.E.
* 4.Brigadier L. O. Clarke. OBE
R.E. * '5.Lt Col. It.°C.P.James.
R.E. * 6.Lt Cole H.B.Harrison.
R.E. * '.Colonel Lord Hankey.
Pc 'GCB,GCIVIG,GCVO.- , Royal
Marines, retired * 8. Lt Genl, Sir
Ian Jacob,GBE,GB. - R.E.
* 9. Field Marshal Lord
Alanbrooke KG,Om. Royal
Artillery retired.
one
Gift that, Every
Mom Loves to Receive
Nothing makes o woman feel so.special
as a lovely gift of flower's .. and: noth-
ging would make Mother happier' than to
be gifted with flowers on her day.
FLOWER
DENOMME smog
THE SQUARE GODERICH
a
t7
The next time I teamed up
with Dyko . was • at the Royal
Engineer Headquarters at
Chatham in,1925, when we were
both in No. 11 Supplementary
Course, forming a very happy
syndicate with Bill Williams, *3 ;
Clarkie, *4 and Jimmy James,
*5. In the meantime these others
vs
re. -you goin�
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