HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1970-02-05, Page 18SA OODERICII..S.IGNAI.4-,,STAIL T1 R$DA ','F4fRU, Y 5,191'0
e Moslem wedding customs
BY,LIftI A VINCENT
, Who-16oked:-. cn r�nl
the, aeroplane in -early morning
light l 'saw nothing' below but
the, 4es 't, ,Intricately patterned
with sand ,dunes and meandering
camel tracks.
T thought that we 'must be a
loing • way from Tehran, but,
Within the next • few moments .
the announcement came through
•to,.fwasten ov_tr seat belts for' the
.:I' : in . telt bewildered at
anrli � d •
what seen`ied to me , the ,
incongruity of an impressive new
arpQrt rising from the treeless '
• �andti
:. So".this vias the strange and.
rather .hostile • land, where my
husband had been entrusted by
the . Canadian goyernment to
open a new Legation and find
diving quarters for the Minister,"
'and the staff. 'Little did I realize
-then that we would: be spending
seven months in -a Persian hotel
white our" furnishings made -the--T
slow journey by sea, and that
only the, hotel manager. co»ld
speak I ngiish.
We were met by the -
• Commercial Coundillor'who, had
arrived some`weeksearlier. When
we had gone through customs .
and arrived at the' taxi stand
outside the airport, two drivers .
Were" shaking their fists in each
other's faces., and, exchanging
loud insults in farsi. This. scene
was oto repeat itself many times
during our tour. of duty there,
an.d the ever-present
undercurrent of vidlence kept
me timid and apprelt@nsive. •
We followed- a broad new
boulevard into ..the city,, Tiny
trees had been planted all along,
the edge, and 1. wondered how
•
•
Elderly parentsuseful;
need somet
The biggest problem facing
._senior citizens is not that they
are frequently ill but that - they
are usually.broke or made to Teel
useless, according to an expert
onthe`aged.
"Money is a real problem,"
said Dr, . Ada .Barnett Stough.
"But .the fact that there is no
- role in society today for the
older person, may be even more
-of a problem," she added. Dr.
'Stough recently retired from the
-Office . of Aging at the
Department. of Health,
• Education and Welfare, U.S.A.
Dr- Stough noted that while:
the ' financial.. `problems of the
aged have been partially eased
by such governmental programs
as»Medi,re, Social Security and
public assistance, the,
as Medicare, 'Social Security and
public and public assistance, the
emotional concerns are 'often a
_family. responsibility. The reason
for this is that 80 percent of the
aged live with sons and .
daughters. But this figure drops
to 14 percent for people 75
years old or over.
Since many mature women
are -faced- With problems , of
elderly parents - theirs or their.
husband's - Dr. Stough offered
this advice: "If 1 were a
40 -year-old daughter' with a
parent 75 or so, 1 would try to
find ou,t" as much as I could
about;, the normal processes of
aging."
High on the list she cited the •
problem of loneliness due to the
death of ' friends or family.
•
members, feelings of uselessness,
and the common miscdnception
that the characteristics of the
'aged can he-- appreciably
changed.
Not only do lifelong habits
remain unchanged, . but age may
reinforce them. As has been
said: '"Marna is like she always
was - only More so." "
FEELINGS OF USELESSNESS
While pointing out that it is
difficult to generalize abcat-the
Many of them would survive in
that dry, sandy soil. As the car
•sped toward the -city .we,ea .e.'
upon the contents of a peasant's
vegetaple cart scattered far and
wide. A group. " of, ,people
clustered around his, motionless
form which lay on theioadside
covered
with a piece • of sacking.
Apparently the vehicle which
struck had 'driven off and left it .
victim. I' was to learp later that
this Solt ,pf lawlessness happened'
often in Iran. I realizekl• then that
I could never grow to,, love this
country.
1 - w» tched the passing
paiiora/ a of ugly puildings With
fir d brick walls, broken
▪ d Ik and ~ gutters fcalled
si ewa s
jubes) running with muddy
water. The sparse and dried-up
foliage, the ragged -children and
unkempt laborers in the street
made a sorry picture_
I was oveorne with
disappointment. So this was the
land of the "Thousand and one
nights,” celebrated by famous
07- ' Persiai-poets-*bo wrateLalso of
encourage her mother and help
her find opportunities," she said.
While these are often .lacking,
she added, progress is, _being
made. "The whole educational
system is beginning to realize
something should be done for
the aging woi'na i. We're doing a
lot more in senior citizen centres
and church programs."
ROLE AS GRANDPARENTS
Dr. Stough believes that the
status of the explo-ding senior
citizen population can be
upgraded. `.`We may ,lie on• the
t hreshoid of finding that.
volunteer work is a very real role
for the older person," she said.
One federal program designed
for the • elderly poor has
approximately 4,000 l• aged
persons in about 65 institutions
acting as substitute grandparents
to children who are ill, mentally
retarded or underprivileged: The
program was so successful in
New Jersey that the state has
instituted a foster grandparent
program ' for volunteers,
regardtPss of income.
As substitute grandparents,
giving love and affection. to
•
hospitalized children, or •• uas
grandparents to • members • of
their awn family, the elderly
have an important role, Dr.
• Stough says, Within the'•family,
for example, the generation gap
between -parent and adolescent
child does not also exist between
the elderly ' and their
„ grandchildren. '
Sometimes there is a. closer
linkage between grandparent and
youth ' than between parent. and
youth. Possibly" becau•,e there's
not a threat 'there. Grandma is
• more indulgent." •
She does nbt recommend,
however, that the -elderly live
together,- in a three -generation
• many extras have been aaaea �o. «,
household. _��� �� ... ..... �..,.,, �..�
the- nightingale and the rose..
Later on, , however, the other
side of the picture unfolded, The
mansions of , the rich, hidden
from curious, eyes, behind high
walls, arose from cultivated
gardens amid trees, flowers and
pools. The owner usually had a
cadillac, a ,mark of great prestige
here, as well as other cars, and a
staff of servants to handle -every
household 'task. „ Rich, women
seldom condescended to enter
their kitchens which; I heard,
were usually in a very unsanitary
condition.. ,A
Women had not 'gained much
status' since the reign of Reza
Shah,` the father of the present
Shah; who after the first world
war, ordered their unveiling: He
was known as a violent man who
did not give them tinie'to adjust
to this new idea.
To women who had spent,
their entire life in purdah, it
seemed as bad as finding oneself
in public without one's clothes.
Reza Shah ' set a • date for
discarding the chador (veil), and
Regular review
dipaysvidends
the- police had Wen Ordered to of lows three wives to those who Someone heats a drum ani
Y•
tear ;it from any woman who can afford them; Often,rnen who everyone,chants verses,"
't
boil wre after to al e
stu n o � e h wom
b s marry v n
Y o ae eta . -
,._ .�.._ �Y _�� .F� .- Y.. -a , r . " warm m � For
r - r 13e :trousseau she has tw'
fladline.to help with the work, outfits, and perhaps her Bowery
Many women ' fro m then on • At' t1e -present time, . might consist of a carpet,a piece
4 g g ° d parents ., " of tapestry remained at home, refusing to �-- dau htens of enlightens ,p ry .,or aewellery�--Before
appear unveiled in the streets, don't marry until they reach. the her w, dding, the bride 'is
The new law wrecked marriages age of eighteen, but many rural • escorted to `the village bath by,
Where one or the • other girls marry at fifteen and all her *o men friends. _ It is
disagreed. Men who -had any -occasionally from twelve years usually a mud• brick building
status 'm society followed the on, hecause it,relieves conditions with a . slimy pool..The more'
Shah's orders to their women or of poverty and 'overcrowding., Modern places. have .a•hot .water
they -wo d have lout their obs. Girls 'ar'e $ometimes 'sold ,b • .
� . , J . � 1 . 1y , :tap, .and •,sometimes a shower.
However, that was as far as their fathers to- older-suiters who They -take -basics qt„water and'
' women's freedom advanced, paya lump sum to the parent,'In proceed to 'wash 'and gossi all.
Most of them wereso timid that ° such cases the gild is virtually 'a morning,' They.pihck•the bride's
• they shrank from any' struggle slave ,and she can be di eadfullY eyebrows, fix her hair and ,dye
for independence. Of • course mistreated by her husbaltd. ''Pile • -her nails with, ;henna; Then in
there are always those women, village marriages where. the this musty. smelling. atmosphere`
How long is it since you
reviewed the- insurance coverage
on yopr house and contents? If
you just automatically renew the
' same . policy year after • year,
chances are your coverage isn't
adequate.
who through natural intelligence young people have grown up they have a, picnic lunch 'which
and power of personality,, rule together are usually happiest. 'has been prepared and sent in by
their own households as well as Many city girls marry, men the village mothers. .
the. lives of their husbands. From- chosen by their - parents: Often w�- On the seventh day after
such women are arising the new they have never known each. marriage 'the bride's friends. meet
leaders • of today who are Other before. in her house. At ,that time they „
diligently organizing forces . tow A city wedding includes bring the wedding gifts.
fight for complete emancipation, many symbolic, items: The According to village custom, the
One such person is Princess Koran or Holy book of Islam, bride, unless she .becomes
Dowlat Shahi whose forbears pieces of silver for prosperity, • pregnant, cannot enter the home
belonged to the Quagar. Dynasty sugar and cake for a sweet and of. her 'parents for one year.
which passed away when the carefree life, a long loaf of bread However, - they are not usually
throne was seized by thepresent s y m b o 1 i z ng continuous' separated for long, as the wife's
Shah's father who was an army abundance through life, candles aim. is to bear a son which
'Officer with no royal blood. The to ensue a bright future, incense increases her status in the eyes
Princess, a beautiful "and to keep , evil spirits away, and of her husband. • ' •
charming woman with a doctor's water, a symbol of life in the One village girl who returned: -
degree, 'is devoting her life to rain -starved mid -east.. *,fronv,a domestic job in the city
social work in Iran. • There is. always a mirror at • to marry her childhood
,She organized an every wedding, for according to sweetheart-, confessed just before
international-e*position to show ancient' Persian custom,. young the wedding ceremony that she •
the women of her country what couples' should see each other • had • a love affair: ' with ..her
women in other countries' were for the first. time as man•and .
doing Each nation had its own wife in a mirror. .After the
display. staff of pictures, ceremony the groom hands the
handcrafts and ' information bride a bowl of sugar. The
pamphlets, as well as films of all mother of the bride then 'rubs
kinds of activities, Most of the some sugar on•�the heads of the
embassies, including .our own newlywedsf This is supposed to
Legation, contributed with" the -ensure future happiness.
importing of arts and crafts etc. Post -wedding celebrations
The , new .Empress' Farah Diba sometimes extend -to three days,,
opened ' the expositipn and depending upon the 'means of.
vis�il=e'd each booth to` -meet the, the parents.
staff. Jt was a huge success and The rural marriage customs
aroused much interest. are different 'and much more
One progressive -minded simple. The 'bride 'is paraded to
.married woman organized • a the. wedding on a decorated
group of other' women who horse. She wears'a white chador
presented a petition -to a and veil with feather headdress.
member of ,parliament who
• happened to be a friend of,.h.er
'husband. Ile promised faithfully,
to bring up the' matter of
Women's' Rights when it was his
• turf to speak. The group,on that
day went in a. body to .,the
parliamentary session, and they
waited with bated breath until
their member arose in the house.
To their ,collective horror he
never uttered a .word on their
behalf, but spoke on an entirely
different subject. When this man '
came again to the woman's
house as a friend, she was so
C Property values have
elderly as a group, Dr. Stough
said that the lack of a role in our
society is a, common•'problem.
"You have a role when you're a
:child:". you go to school; you
have roles when you're married; a
You have roles- - whep you're
working. But after retirement
there is absolutely -hb -rad- in
.society for the elderly;
Consequently, life can be
meaningless - there is no status.
Perhaps as far as the family is-
concerned
sconcerned this is one of. the
Overriding problems - that•Iack
_of_,purpose for older.people."
Hopefully, she added, the
image of the: aged as,, "old,
unhappy .and ready to die" will
change with• further
.,. he ..-_.aging
understanding of _-..-
processes. She cited a study
' showing that - elderly persons
who possessed the ability to
learn in, the past can continue to
do so, providing mental facilities
are. still active and motivation
and opportunity exist. Dr.
Stough believes that women
-with -elderly paients who possess
these qualifications .should put
them to use.
"A . dau'ghtgr -should
increased so much during the -furious that she refused to let
past few years that a policy him in: She 'told him neVer to
- taken out on your honse ten return.until he had fulfilled his
. years ago \,./ouldn't begin to promise but nothing was ever
coyer its ''present value. How done „about it. Apparently,
about the . contents of your mern`bers of - parliament were „
house? Are they adequately afraid of losing presfig with the
covered ‘by in§Urance? How voters who at that time were all
th Arany of the ,western
"If possible,":
people should
and enable
i rid e pendently
she said' "Older
be erk-ou'raged
d 'to live
as long as
Recreation tips
A high percentage - of
snowmobile injurie§, particularly
the serious and fatal ones, occtir
.to the head. For this 'reason, the
Ontario Safety League and most
snowmobile groups strongly
recommend the use of safety,
helthets. These helmets come
''''Ikrith warm linets and can be
obtained -with attached -tinted,
shatterproof -goggles. A number
of snowmobile clubs insist upon
their Member§ wearing safety
helmets at all times when they
• are operating a machine whether
for racing or casual use.
' The League also suggests using
the popular and coMmonly,used
--snowmobile suit of the coverall
style: This is a ' warm,
comparatively waterproof type
of ga.rme'tit which makes for
,conifort in cold weather, but
also Provides considerable safety
against having clOthing caught.in
moving parts of a snowrriobile
snagged by brush, fences or
other obstructiong along- a trail.
' The same„ „Applies tO popular
snowinobile footwear.
1
•
•
STUDIO
Specializing in .. •
* Weddings
Children
Single or Group Portraits
,and Passports
524-8787-
118 St. David Goderich
.'
•
employer. This seduction of
i bycit
simple. ;country girls c
c,
employers Was a cow
occurrence in Iran:
While the girl's fi .rice still
wanted to marry he , is parents
adamantly refuse. oto allow him.
She' was the isowned• by .her
own paten and turned out .of'.
the house:; so this young bride
disappeared in the -big city, most
likely to become a prostitute.
i , co ere d'a crime for an.
�t .s ns cl. d ,:. •
Iraniangirl to,have a- re-maritall-
a p
affair, ..yet' there' is no . Moral:
standard' whatever -for the men.
Their past is never questioned. -
However, many of the rich,°both
men • and' women, are quite
dissolute after marriage.
(To. Be Continued)
You CANT
geh
YOU�as L �A[
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hv f ° WOE`! 0 -..
SKPArrhva yiUP E F
.,
� ,...�..
If
t
•
S .tvic StaYia .-
a and'
°: • > coffee Shop.,
411 ,Huron `Rd.; Godi;.�ic
524-6871 tf.
CLINTON WINTER
CARNIVAL
Snowmobile Races
SUNDAY,.. FEB. 15
CLINTON- COMMUNITY PARK -
REGISTRATION 10 A.M.'to 12 .NOON
RACES 1:00. P.M. SHARP
Admission: $1.00 Children Under 12 Free
CLASSES: STOCK -- LADIES STOCK
MAYOR'S AND REEVE'S. RACE - NOVELTY
AND MODIFIED - ALL FOR CASH -PRIZES
For Further. Information Contact: °
1
FRED LOBS
Chairman 482-9431
-DON HALL
Co -Chairman 482-7220
SNOWMOBILE. RACES SPONSORED BY.
a CLINTON KINSMEN' CI, ,J13
64.
additional sports and hobby think of their wives as goo s an
it ? chattels. Some of their women
ems
• teach in the Universities and
Perhaps you should change
the type of policy. Many people professional positions.
-6arry .only fire insurance bn the , _Divorce laws make it -very •
contents when, for a few more easy for the male. A wife may be
• dollars, they could . get divorced and turned out of the ,
protection against other types of, home on the signing of a paper.
loss. -or Add a liability clause that-. . At the titne of marriage ...a
would "A"'prOtect them • against woman is usually given a dowerS7
claims ,, for damages by persons in her own right so that in case
who might be injured on their ,of abandonment or divorceLshe
property. If you -rent rather than has some means of suppb-ft, but ,
own your ' home; 'you might ' many husbands get possession of
- consider a "Tenant's Policy," the dowery by artful means, or
which is specially designed to,,___selI .the expensive tugs or silver
protect tenants. ' :' . Which belong to her, then she is
It is a good idea to make a tuined out and 'left- destitute.
- periodic check of your insurange There are some laws to protect •
• -policies to determine whether or women hut with a little bribery
not you haVe proper protection. they cease to function.
Conditions change and what. was According)... to tMoslem law,
adequate coverage a , few years- men are allowed to beat their
ago may be quite unsatisfactory wives as long -as they do no -
now. bodily injury. The law also
SUR4NCE
see or call s'
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1.1
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