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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1970-02-05, Page 18SA OODERICII..S.IGNAI.4-,,STAIL T1 R$DA ','F4fRU, Y 5,191'0 e Moslem wedding customs BY,LIftI A VINCENT , Who-16oked:-. cn r�nl the, aeroplane in -early morning light l 'saw nothing' below but the, 4es 't, ,Intricately patterned with sand ,dunes and meandering camel tracks. T thought that we 'must be a loing • way from Tehran, but, Within the next • few moments . the announcement came through •to,.fwasten ov_tr seat belts for' the .:I' : in . telt bewildered at anrli � d • what seen`ied to me , the , incongruity of an impressive new arpQrt rising from the treeless ' • �andti :. So".this vias the strange and. rather .hostile • land, where my husband had been entrusted by the . Canadian goyernment to open a new Legation and find diving quarters for the Minister," 'and the staff. 'Little did I realize -then that we would: be spending seven months in -a Persian hotel white our" furnishings made -the--T slow journey by sea, and that only the, hotel manager. co»ld speak I ngiish. We were met by the - • Commercial Coundillor'who, had arrived some`weeksearlier. When we had gone through customs . and arrived at the' taxi stand outside the airport, two drivers . Were" shaking their fists in each other's faces., and, exchanging loud insults in farsi. This. scene was oto repeat itself many times during our tour. of duty there, an.d the ever-present undercurrent of vidlence kept me timid and apprelt@nsive. • We followed- a broad new boulevard into ..the city,, Tiny trees had been planted all along, the edge, and 1. wondered how • • Elderly parentsuseful; need somet The biggest problem facing ._senior citizens is not that they are frequently ill but that - they are usually.broke or made to Teel useless, according to an expert onthe`aged. "Money is a real problem," said Dr, . Ada .Barnett Stough. "But .the fact that there is no - role in society today for the older person, may be even more -of a problem," she added. Dr. 'Stough recently retired from the -Office . of Aging at the Department. of Health, • Education and Welfare, U.S.A. Dr- Stough noted that while: the ' financial.. `problems of the aged have been partially eased by such governmental programs as»Medi,re, Social Security and public assistance, the, as Medicare, 'Social Security and public and public assistance, the emotional concerns are 'often a _family. responsibility. The reason for this is that 80 percent of the aged live with sons and . daughters. But this figure drops to 14 percent for people 75 years old or over. Since many mature women are -faced- With problems , of elderly parents - theirs or their. husband's - Dr. Stough offered this advice: "If 1 were a 40 -year-old daughter' with a parent 75 or so, 1 would try to find ou,t" as much as I could about;, the normal processes of aging." High on the list she cited the • problem of loneliness due to the death of ' friends or family. • members, feelings of uselessness, and the common miscdnception that the characteristics of the 'aged can he-- appreciably changed. Not only do lifelong habits remain unchanged, . but age may reinforce them. As has been said: '"Marna is like she always was - only More so." " FEELINGS OF USELESSNESS While pointing out that it is difficult to generalize abcat-the Many of them would survive in that dry, sandy soil. As the car •sped toward the -city .we,ea .e.' upon the contents of a peasant's vegetaple cart scattered far and wide. A group. " of, ,people clustered around his, motionless form which lay on theioadside covered with a piece • of sacking. Apparently the vehicle which struck had 'driven off and left it . victim. I' was to learp later that this Solt ,pf lawlessness happened' often in Iran. I realizekl• then that I could never grow to,, love this country. 1 - w» tched the passing paiiora/ a of ugly puildings With fir d brick walls, broken ▪ d Ik and ~ gutters fcalled si ewa s jubes) running with muddy water. The sparse and dried-up foliage, the ragged -children and unkempt laborers in the street made a sorry picture_ I was oveorne with disappointment. So this was the land of the "Thousand and one nights,” celebrated by famous 07- ' Persiai-poets-*bo wrateLalso of encourage her mother and help her find opportunities," she said. While these are often .lacking, she added, progress is, _being made. "The whole educational system is beginning to realize something should be done for the aging woi'na i. We're doing a lot more in senior citizen centres and church programs." ROLE AS GRANDPARENTS Dr. Stough believes that the status of the explo-ding senior citizen population can be upgraded. `.`We may ,lie on• the t hreshoid of finding that. volunteer work is a very real role for the older person," she said. One federal program designed for the • elderly poor has approximately 4,000 l• aged persons in about 65 institutions acting as substitute grandparents to children who are ill, mentally retarded or underprivileged: The program was so successful in New Jersey that the state has instituted a foster grandparent program ' for volunteers, regardtPss of income. As substitute grandparents, giving love and affection. to • hospitalized children, or •• uas grandparents to • members • of their awn family, the elderly have an important role, Dr. • Stough says, Within the'•family, for example, the generation gap between -parent and adolescent child does not also exist between the elderly ' and their „ grandchildren. ' Sometimes there is a. closer linkage between grandparent and youth ' than between parent. and youth. Possibly" becau•,e there's not a threat 'there. Grandma is • more indulgent." • She does nbt recommend, however, that the -elderly live together,- in a three -generation • many extras have been aaaea �o. «, household. _��� �� ... ..... �..,.,, �..� the- nightingale and the rose.. Later on, , however, the other side of the picture unfolded, The mansions of , the rich, hidden from curious, eyes, behind high walls, arose from cultivated gardens amid trees, flowers and pools. The owner usually had a cadillac, a ,mark of great prestige here, as well as other cars, and a staff of servants to handle -every household 'task. „ Rich, women seldom condescended to enter their kitchens which; I heard, were usually in a very unsanitary condition.. ,A Women had not 'gained much status' since the reign of Reza Shah,` the father of the present Shah; who after the first world war, ordered their unveiling: He was known as a violent man who did not give them tinie'to adjust to this new idea. To women who had spent, their entire life in purdah, it seemed as bad as finding oneself in public without one's clothes. Reza Shah ' set a • date for discarding the chador (veil), and Regular review dipaysvidends the- police had Wen Ordered to of lows three wives to those who Someone heats a drum ani Y• tear ;it from any woman who can afford them; Often,rnen who everyone,chants verses," 't boil wre after to al e stu n o � e h wom b s marry v n Y o ae eta . - ,._ .�.._ �Y _�� .F� .- Y.. -a , r . " warm m � For r - r 13e :trousseau she has tw' fladline.to help with the work, outfits, and perhaps her Bowery Many women ' fro m then on • At' t1e -present time, . might consist of a carpet,a piece 4 g g ° d parents ., " of tapestry remained at home, refusing to �-- dau htens of enlightens ,p ry .,or aewellery�--Before appear unveiled in the streets, don't marry until they reach. the her w, dding, the bride 'is The new law wrecked marriages age of eighteen, but many rural • escorted to `the village bath by, Where one or the • other girls marry at fifteen and all her *o men friends. _ It is disagreed. Men who -had any -occasionally from twelve years usually a mud• brick building status 'm society followed the on, hecause it,relieves conditions with a . slimy pool..The more' Shah's orders to their women or of poverty and 'overcrowding., Modern places. have .a•hot .water they -wo d have lout their obs. Girls 'ar'e $ometimes 'sold ,b • . � . , J . � 1 . 1y , :tap, .and •,sometimes a shower. However, that was as far as their fathers to- older-suiters who They -take -basics qt„water and' ' women's freedom advanced, paya lump sum to the parent,'In proceed to 'wash 'and gossi all. Most of them wereso timid that ° such cases the gild is virtually 'a morning,' They.pihck•the bride's • they shrank from any' struggle slave ,and she can be di eadfullY eyebrows, fix her hair and ,dye for independence. Of • course mistreated by her husbaltd. ''Pile • -her nails with, ;henna; Then in there are always those women, village marriages where. the this musty. smelling. atmosphere` How long is it since you reviewed the- insurance coverage on yopr house and contents? If you just automatically renew the ' same . policy year after • year, chances are your coverage isn't adequate. who through natural intelligence young people have grown up they have a, picnic lunch 'which and power of personality,, rule together are usually happiest. 'has been prepared and sent in by their own households as well as Many city girls marry, men the village mothers. . the. lives of their husbands. From- chosen by their - parents: Often w�- On the seventh day after such women are arising the new they have never known each. marriage 'the bride's friends. meet leaders • of today who are Other before. in her house. At ,that time they „ diligently organizing forces . tow A city wedding includes bring the wedding gifts. fight for complete emancipation, many symbolic, items: The According to village custom, the One such person is Princess Koran or Holy book of Islam, bride, unless she .becomes Dowlat Shahi whose forbears pieces of silver for prosperity, • pregnant, cannot enter the home belonged to the Quagar. Dynasty sugar and cake for a sweet and of. her 'parents for one year. which passed away when the carefree life, a long loaf of bread However, - they are not usually throne was seized by thepresent s y m b o 1 i z ng continuous' separated for long, as the wife's Shah's father who was an army abundance through life, candles aim. is to bear a son which 'Officer with no royal blood. The to ensue a bright future, incense increases her status in the eyes Princess, a beautiful "and to keep , evil spirits away, and of her husband. • ' • charming woman with a doctor's water, a symbol of life in the One village girl who returned: - degree, 'is devoting her life to rain -starved mid -east.. *,fronv,a domestic job in the city social work in Iran. • There is. always a mirror at • to marry her childhood ,She organized an every wedding, for according to sweetheart-, confessed just before international-e*position to show ancient' Persian custom,. young the wedding ceremony that she • the women of her country what couples' should see each other • had • a love affair: ' with ..her women in other countries' were for the first. time as man•and . doing Each nation had its own wife in a mirror. .After the display. staff of pictures, ceremony the groom hands the handcrafts and ' information bride a bowl of sugar. The pamphlets, as well as films of all mother of the bride then 'rubs kinds of activities, Most of the some sugar on•�the heads of the embassies, including .our own newlywedsf This is supposed to Legation, contributed with" the -ensure future happiness. importing of arts and crafts etc. Post -wedding celebrations The , new .Empress' Farah Diba sometimes extend -to three days,, opened ' the expositipn and depending upon the 'means of. vis�il=e'd each booth to` -meet the, the parents. staff. Jt was a huge success and The rural marriage customs aroused much interest. are different 'and much more One progressive -minded simple. The 'bride 'is paraded to .married woman organized • a the. wedding on a decorated group of other' women who horse. She wears'a white chador presented a petition -to a and veil with feather headdress. member of ,parliament who • happened to be a friend of,.h.er 'husband. Ile promised faithfully, to bring up the' matter of Women's' Rights when it was his • turf to speak. The group,on that day went in a. body to .,the parliamentary session, and they waited with bated breath until their member arose in the house. To their ,collective horror he never uttered a .word on their behalf, but spoke on an entirely different subject. When this man ' came again to the woman's house as a friend, she was so C Property values have elderly as a group, Dr. Stough said that the lack of a role in our society is a, common•'problem. "You have a role when you're a :child:". you go to school; you have roles when you're married; a You have roles- - whep you're working. But after retirement there is absolutely -hb -rad- in .society for the elderly; Consequently, life can be meaningless - there is no status. Perhaps as far as the family is- concerned sconcerned this is one of. the Overriding problems - that•Iack _of_,purpose for older.people." Hopefully, she added, the image of the: aged as,, "old, unhappy .and ready to die" will change with• further .,. he ..-_.aging understanding of _-..- processes. She cited a study ' showing that - elderly persons who possessed the ability to learn in, the past can continue to do so, providing mental facilities are. still active and motivation and opportunity exist. Dr. Stough believes that women -with -elderly paients who possess these qualifications .should put them to use. "A . dau'ghtgr -should increased so much during the -furious that she refused to let past few years that a policy him in: She 'told him neVer to - taken out on your honse ten return.until he had fulfilled his . years ago \,./ouldn't begin to promise but nothing was ever coyer its ''present value. How done „about it. Apparently, about the . contents of your mern`bers of - parliament were „ house? Are they adequately afraid of losing presfig with the covered ‘by in§Urance? How voters who at that time were all th Arany of the ,western "If possible,": people should and enable i rid e pendently she said' "Older be erk-ou'raged d 'to live as long as Recreation tips A high percentage - of snowmobile injurie§, particularly the serious and fatal ones, occtir .to the head. For this 'reason, the Ontario Safety League and most snowmobile groups strongly recommend the use of safety, helthets. These helmets come ''''Ikrith warm linets and can be obtained -with attached -tinted, shatterproof -goggles. A number of snowmobile clubs insist upon their Member§ wearing safety helmets at all times when they • are operating a machine whether for racing or casual use. ' The League also suggests using the popular and coMmonly,used --snowmobile suit of the coverall style: This is a ' warm, comparatively waterproof type of ga.rme'tit which makes for ,conifort in cold weather, but also Provides considerable safety against having clOthing caught.in moving parts of a snowrriobile snagged by brush, fences or other obstructiong along- a trail. ' The same„ „Applies tO popular snowinobile footwear. 1 • • STUDIO Specializing in .. • * Weddings Children Single or Group Portraits ,and Passports 524-8787- 118 St. David Goderich .' • employer. This seduction of i bycit simple. ;country girls c c, employers Was a cow occurrence in Iran: While the girl's fi .rice still wanted to marry he , is parents adamantly refuse. oto allow him. She' was the isowned• by .her own paten and turned out .of'. the house:; so this young bride disappeared in the -big city, most likely to become a prostitute. i , co ere d'a crime for an. �t .s ns cl. d ,:. • Iraniangirl to,have a- re-maritall- a p affair, ..yet' there' is no . Moral: standard' whatever -for the men. Their past is never questioned. - However, many of the rich,°both men • and' women, are quite dissolute after marriage. (To. Be Continued) You CANT geh YOU�as L �A[ D hv f ° WOE`! 0 -.. SKPArrhva yiUP E F ., � ,...�.. If t • S .tvic StaYia .- a and' °: • > coffee Shop., 411 ,Huron `Rd.; Godi;.�ic 524-6871 tf. CLINTON WINTER CARNIVAL Snowmobile Races SUNDAY,.. FEB. 15 CLINTON- COMMUNITY PARK - REGISTRATION 10 A.M.'to 12 .NOON RACES 1:00. P.M. SHARP Admission: $1.00 Children Under 12 Free CLASSES: STOCK -- LADIES STOCK MAYOR'S AND REEVE'S. RACE - NOVELTY AND MODIFIED - ALL FOR CASH -PRIZES For Further. Information Contact: ° 1 FRED LOBS Chairman 482-9431 -DON HALL Co -Chairman 482-7220 SNOWMOBILE. RACES SPONSORED BY. a CLINTON KINSMEN' CI, ,J13 64. additional sports and hobby think of their wives as goo s an it ? chattels. Some of their women ems • teach in the Universities and Perhaps you should change the type of policy. Many people professional positions. -6arry .only fire insurance bn the , _Divorce laws make it -very • contents when, for a few more easy for the male. A wife may be • dollars, they could . get divorced and turned out of the , protection against other types of, home on the signing of a paper. loss. -or Add a liability clause that-. . At the titne of marriage ...a would "A"'prOtect them • against woman is usually given a dowerS7 claims ,, for damages by persons in her own right so that in case who might be injured on their ,of abandonment or divorceLshe property. If you -rent rather than has some means of suppb-ft, but , own your ' home; 'you might ' many husbands get possession of - consider a "Tenant's Policy," the dowery by artful means, or which is specially designed to,,___selI .the expensive tugs or silver protect tenants. ' :' . Which belong to her, then she is It is a good idea to make a tuined out and 'left- destitute. - periodic check of your insurange There are some laws to protect • • -policies to determine whether or women hut with a little bribery not you haVe proper protection. they cease to function. Conditions change and what. was According)... to tMoslem law, adequate coverage a , few years- men are allowed to beat their ago may be quite unsatisfactory wives as long -as they do no - now. bodily injury. The law also SUR4NCE see or call s' Aliackwimmi 44 North St. - 524,9531 1.1 ESTATE/ " 'POURED' CONCRETE TH-E.'...:.131.0 YALU! 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