HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1892-10-27, Page 3I
171,
Wanted -A Illusband.
The year is fast. advancing,
My chances slippthg by;
And yet I tun unmarried,
And. this thoreasoa why:
rvo always been too modest,
I've dressed ell out of etyle,
cannot don suspenders,
or train my shirt a utile.
do not like the women
Whose skirts the street must sweep,
Or else compel the wearers
Their hands behind to keep,
And in a fast ion ugly,
Their skirts aside to dam
.And show I.hoir ankles great °small
.And let the men ha! ha
Foe I'm a little maiden
Whose age 1 will not toll,
'You neverwould believe me,
And so I may as woll
.Adopt the whim of women,
Which men all know, Twee's.
.And (Clarice you then belioving
That I am " sweet sixteen."
I'm fond of fun and mischief,
I'm gond a reading, too,
I love to cook, to sing and play,
To sow and mend and do
The things our dear old mothers did
When they were young and gay;
I'm serious, jolly, tender, true,
And constant as tho day.
My oyes are like the summer skies,
My hair of golden Imo,
That curls a.boutmy brow;
My size just five Seat two ;
My form plump, round and trim ;
My Purse 3 Ah,'twill not do
To tell its size or its contents,
Lest it might influence you.
But ho who for my hand would ask,
Must have an income fair,
A cheerful heart, a cultured mind,
And must not dye his hair;
Ile must with money generous be,
And fond of home and company,
If such a one these lines should meet,
Then please address
MISS BESSIE SWEET.
-.Detroit Free Press.
Pussy's Queer Mitten.
s Once a tiny little rabbit strayed from home
away,
Tar from woodland haunts she wandered, little
rabbit gray.
Our old Tabby -cat, while sitting by the kitchen
door,
'Thought she saw her long -lost kitten, home re-
turned onco more
Garr) a pounce, and quickly caught it .with
happy mew,
Bre the frightsned little wanderer quite knew
what to do.
Gently Tabby brought her treasure to the old
doom at,
Purred and rubbed and licked and smoothed
-motherly old cat.
But what puzzled pussy, truly, and aroused her
fears,
Was the length to which had grown her kitty's
once small oars;
Most amazing, most alarming, was that sight
to her ;
Green and round her eyes were swelling, stiff
and straight her fur.
" Poor, weak kitty, what a pity you're de-
formed," thought she;
-"Surely this has somehow happened since you
went from me ;
But you're woloanse home, my kitten ; mother's
love is strong -
Though I will confess, I wish your ears were
not so long !"
So the tiny little rabbit grew contented quite.
.And, my children, I can I ell you Was a pi etty
sight
When nice old Tabby and her rabbit -kitty
gray.
Would frolic in the sunshine and so merrily
would play,
And when by and by it happened that some
wee, new kittens came,
Dear old mother -cat, she loved herrabbit-kitten
just the same.
But she's never yet discovered, spite of all her
doubts and fears,
"{Mit happened that one kitty had such extra
lengthy ears.
emcee and Nephew.
Six cents for dinner is enough
For any mat that's brainy,
Two coots for mush. two cents for milk,
Two cents for miscellsny.
Four cents for breakfast. four for tea,
Was all a fellow needed ;
'Twee alt .Tack wanted and no man
Nods any more than he did.
"Besides," said Jack, "men spend for clothes
And such extravagances,
Good IU9Dey that; shuurd never be
Spent on sach foolish fanoies.
An old meal bag for pantaloons,
A bedtick for a jacket,
And for suspenders a good rope
Will quite stand any racket.
s' I live on seventy cents a weeks
Go visiting on Sunday,
And, if they feed me pretty full,.
have enough for 11Isnday.
So fifty dollars in tho year
Is all I spend for living,
Hotpot my money in the bank
And render up thanksgiving."
jack died and loft his nephew Bil
Nine hundred thousand dollars,
And Bill he spent a thousand quick
For neckties and for sonars.
He rained his money right and left
On horses, Maude, and Jenny,
And one Tear from his unclo'e death
Hy wasn't worth a pennss
In Town.
They hadno "parting. in the wood,"
No "meetings in the Hawthorne lane,"
"Beside the sea" they never stood,
Nor "watched tho sunset after ram.'
Thcir pathway was the busy street,
Their trysting place the office chair,
Yet well I know joy more complete
Did never visit mortal pair.
And why should rustic love alone
Be decked with all poetic art?
Th se dull, gr ty city walls hare known
The beating of a nation's heart.
The weary workers eome and go;
The secret of each soul is dumb;
Yet still at times a radiant glow
Across their wayworn lives may COMO.
And. them my happy loa.ors, knew
Hard toil small wage, and scanty faro;
The skies they saw were ever blue,
Batlove made gladness everywhere.
His step -upon tho °Slice floor
Was sweet to hear as thrush's song;
Her face that passed the open door
For him made sunshine all day long.
-London Pigaro.
" A Itles Vie Took."
A kiss he look and a backward look
And her heart grew suddenly lighter;
A trifle, you say, to oolor a day ;
Yet tho duli g ay morn seemed brighter.
For hearts aro such that a tender touch
May banish look or e d nese ;
A small, slight thing can make US sing,
Mut a frown will Chock our gladness.
The cheeriest ray along our way
Is the little act of kindness, ,
And the keenest sting some careless thing
That WA s done in a moment of blindness,
We can bravely face lite in a home where strife
No foothold can discover,
And be lovers still, if we only will,
Though youth's bright days are over.
Ab, sharp as swords get the unkind words
That aro far beyond recalling.
When a face lies hid Swath a collin.lid,
Assad bitter tears are falling,
Wo fain would give half the lives we live
To undo our idle seorning
'Then lot us notroiss the smile and kiss .
When we part in the light of the morning.
To Tell a Gelid
How can 1 tell her?
By her collar,
Cleanly shelves awl Whitened avail%
can guess her
By her dresser,
33y tho back streircneo and halls;
And with pleasure
Telco her measure
By the way she keeps her brooms.
Or the peepieg
At the "keeping "
()Cher back and, unseen rooms.
By her kitchen's air of neatness,
And it general completeness
Where in cleanlinose and sweetness
The Mao of order bloorrits
Munn trig it IICACe•
A little tear arid a little smile
Set out to run a race;
We watched them okeiely all the while, .
Thole course was baby% bum.
The little tom' he got the stare,
Wo really feared he'd win;
HO ran Po fast, and made a dart
Straight for her diinplod Chin.
Brit scanehoW-it wag very' queer.
We 'watched them ali the while—
The little, shiniere fretted teat
enot beaten be the smile.
LOVE IN CHICAGO.
-
A Story Showing the Danger of Proposing
in a Foreign Language,
IT might be interesting to consider
white fateful power it is that seizes two
individuals born at opposite ends of
the mean and hurries them along
through varied scenes and viciasitudes,
CMOil ignorant of the other's existence,
bringing them together, sometimes in
love and friendship, sometimes in
enmity and deadly hatred.
These philosophic thoughts were sug-
gested a few days ago as we doubled the
northwest corner of a street in the great
kaleidoseopic city of Chicago. On that
northwest corner was a fruit -stand. That
fruitnitand had withstood many a change in
Chicago's governing powers. Boodle
aldermanic bodies had succeeded eaoh
other, police chiefs had come and gone
and were forgotten, mayor followed mayor,
yet there it edema, serene amid the warring
elements of municipal and State elections
and other such tempests in tea -kettles.
One earringed foreigner after another.
braving the sun and storm, raked in
the nickels, doled out the bananas and re-
turned to his native land wealthy a,nd
independent. Truly it might be said of the
apple stand:
Ib shall still stand in the undiminished
splendor of its bananas when some traveller
from St. Louis shall stand on a broken arch
tie Clerk street litidge to Fillet* the ruine
of tele 'county building.'"
By that stand,prealding over its destinies,
was a black -haired, black-eyed, black -eye -
brewed, olive -complexioned daughter of
Greece. By that stand and gazing into
those dangerous Greek optics was a atal-
wart form, with red hair, blue eyes, blue
coat, brass buttons, silver star on breast
and a tessellated hickory under his arm.
He looked good natured and honest and
wore a well educated blond mustache.
There was one defect in his physique—he
was so round shouldered as to be almost
humpbacked. His name was Michael
O'Callaghan, or, as he himself puts it,
"Officer Michael O'Callaghan."
There they stand, the one for aught we
know a lineal descendant of Leonidas, if
that worthy had ventured into matrimony
before he ventured into Thermopylie,
and the other—it goes without saying—a
descendant of somebody equally ancient
and illustrious. Yes, there they stand—
from Ireland and from Greece—making
love to each other on the curbstones of a
busy street in Chicago. Oh, Love, they
say you rule the court, the camp, the
grove; you do budeed, and you rule the
curbstones, the apple stands and the police
force of the city of Chicago.
How Mr. Michael O'Callaghan had ever
succeeded in making love to the fair Zoe
—for that was the name of this Pythoness
of the apple stand—the boy Eros himself
only can tell, for Zoe's vocabulary in
English was limited to such trade terms
as ' tw fo' fife," " three fo' fife," and
Michel's knowlege of modern Greek was,
if anything, more limited. Love laughs at
locksmiths but the little rascal in this case
seemed equally to laugh at languages, and
the Tower of 13abel had no more penalcon-
sequences for him than if it never rained its
defiant bead to an offended heaven.
The officers "beat" embraced the locality
on which stood the apple stand, and surely
no policeman ever travelled his cbstriet so
rapidly as he did. Ever and anon his bright
star flashing coruscations of light, and his
eyes, blue as his native akies, when it is
not raining there flashing coruscations of
love, would round the northwest corner and
approach the apple stand.
"How much ?" he would say, holding an
apple which Zoe had burnished then morn-
ing with a greasy rag, while the Volapuk
language of love would say more truly than
ever Byron said ib;
Zoe rime sas agape.
and Zoe would answer with a smile and a
not unmusical vcdue :
" Two fo' fife."
Then they would rummage amid the fruit,
their hands would meet, a little surrepti-
tious squeeze of the fingers would follow.
and then this stalwart suppressor of
Anarchists would march along, twirling his
club, lowly whistling " The Girl I Left
Behind Me," and dreaming dreams no
" copper " ever dared to droam before.
These day dreams generally took the shape
of a flat on the west side, with Zoe its
miatress and a little Grwoo-Irish O'Calla-
ghan crowing and kicking up his heels on
the floor.
Several times each day that unspoken
comedy of love was performed. Day after
day Michael boldly gazed into those dark
Grecian eyes'and Zoe stole bashful glances
into the Irish blue ones, and the surrep-
titious finger equeeziug WAN perpeti•ated, but
never a word was !Token save : " How
much?" "Two fo' fife."
The time had now come when 'language
was a necessity, and towards this desider-
atum our Lothario in blue, as he marched
through tho crowded streets, bent all the
energies of his thinking powers. Many
methode rapidly suggested themselves to
his fervid imagination and were as rapidly
rejected, and many a Smile played over his
broad face as he saw the "bull" in some
of those suggestions.
One dey while immersed in deep thought
he was suddenly aroused by a commotion
ieauing from a crowd of small boys in an
alleyway. It was only a fight between two
street arabs The others had formed 5 ring,
and various words of encouragement were
offered by the young speotatoes to the
chempions in the ring.
At another time, Michael, who had only
recently been a boy himself, would have
-paesed this matter by, but now be jelt that
he wan prospectively the head of a family
and then he would not tolerate such things.
On tiptoe he approached the 150013 0 of the
combat,.
As Michael approached he heard some
one in the crowd scream,. " Look out
there, Jim ; he's got a knife" The boys,
ranging in every degree of d irtee facednees
and tatterodneas, were too intent on the
struggle to notice the officer, who reached
the outer edge of the crowd unseen.
One of the boy combatants, with ewarthy
face, scowling brow and a recently acquired
black eye, atood at ouo side of the ring like
a hunted animal at bay, with his handa
behind his back and concealed under his
coetrtall, while tho other urchin, small and
wiry -looking, with Ms libtle handa clinched
and his eyes blating, etood like an infantile
gladiator ready to spriog on his antagonist
and dare the worst, knife end all. ,
In a moment the policeman had each of
them by the collar. In another itstant he
pulled thehand of the ecearthy boy from
Underneath his coat-tail and .wrenched from
it a murdereus-looking knife.
At the officteree approach the crowd of
boys broke end scampered like rate on the
appearance of the feline enemy, and while
he was wreating the knife from the evearthy
lmy his lete antagroxisit took advantage) of
the opeortunity ne regale hie liberty, so
that officer and captive were left alone in
tibe alleyway.
The instate* to the teeniest was 1101/ far)
and the officer thought he would walk there
inatead of ealliug the patrol, Little wales,
— —
late spectateof the combat, peeked from
dteerWays and alleyways like rats at the
mouth of their holes, and small knees of
people followed them for a ahort dietaries)
and then dropped off,
" Who gave you the black eye ?" aid
the officerglooking &ma from his six feet
on the diminutive little man walking by his
aidi‘ef.He giv'er ter ine," anewered the child,
with a scowl that belonged to more mature
years.
"And you oarne near killing him, and
then you'd be leung."
" I'll give it ter 'em sit," hissed the boy
through his clinched teeth.
See're Eyetalian, ain't ye?" queried the
officer.
" Nos ; 1 W118 horned in Greece.'
"Ye're a Greek, are ye?" hall soliloquized
Mr. O'Callaghan, and immediately a secret
sympathy eprung up in the mind of the
ceptor for his captive,
Half dozen thoughts now jostled each
other through the officer's mind. His
prospective paternity memo upon him
again; once more he saw the Grieco -
Irish scion of the O'Callaghan kicking his
infantile heels in midair, and he softened
towards Zoo's compatriot.
A thought came—he might be a brother
of Zoe's—and this thought was voiced by
the queetion, " What's your name, my
boyV'
" Petrels ; they calls me Pete for short."
" What's ger other name?"
" Zarouski."
That point was settled. Was not Zoe
rouski Zoe' s name? They had almost
reached the statioli when the officer sud-
denly turned around, saying to the boy,
"Cone along," and walking a few squares
led his captive to his awn lodging. Here
he locked the door, and 'mining the poor
little urchin who thought he seem ping
to be tortured to death, in a seat oppalte
him, opened the ball thus, " Pete, do ye
know whet they'll do to ye there ?" jerking
his thumb in the direction of the police
cout.
"Nos," replied the lad, his short, bare
legs hanging down from the chair and six
inches from the floor, while dismay was
written on the face staring at his inter-
looutor.
"They'll send ye to the reform school,
where you'll have to work every day—on
the treadmill—get nothin' t' eat, and be
flogged every night."
The officer winced at his own want of
veracity, while the poor little fellow dropped
his head on his breeet in deeper.
"You ain't a bad kid, are ye, Pete?"
asked the officer.
"1 ain't when I'ze left alone. Pze bad
when I'ze maddened," added the boy, can-
did1
P
"Pete, I've took a likin' to ye, Pete,"
says the officer, "and if ye promise not to
cut than boy that blacked yer eye when ye
meet 'im I'll be per friend, and ye won't go
to the reform echool."
Peter didn't answer; it was not every
day that people took a liking to him. He
clutched his old rag of a hat tighter in his
little swarthy hands and the tears stood in
his eyes.
"Now, will you promise not to cut that
boy r queried the officer, with an assump-
tion of that tone he had seen the Police
Justice assume towards culprits. Still the
child—ohild-man rather—did not speak.
He was doing his best to control the rising
tears. He was afraid he would blubber
out, and that, according to his code, would
be unmanly.
" Well, queried the officer. " do ye
promise ?" The boy nodded his head, with
the mass of black, unkempt hair on it, as a
sign in the affitusetive, and with a quick
movement of his hand across his eyes man-
aged to intercept; a tear that in spite of his
efforts escaped his eyelids. The officer saw
and was satisfied; then addressing himself
to the child as if he were a full-grown man,
and cheerily rubbing his eyes, he said:
"Now, Pete, me boy, we'll have some
dinner, you and me."
Very soon they were on the best of terms,
and Pete would have gladly laid down his
life for his new friend. He told O'Callaghan
his little history.
But what interested the officer most was
that Pete knew Zoe.
"Yes, I knows Zoe,' said the little fel-
low, swelling with delight. " Zoe's out
on'y a little—mebbe two months.; her old
fadder, he bought that sten' off a Italian
feller, and Zoe she runs it all her own self,
she does."
The officer had early in their acquaint-
ance determined to .make use of Pete in
declaring his love for Zoe, so that his
friondehip had a selfish motive, and was
not all so disinterested as was Pete's for
him ; so he took the little fellow entirely
into his confidence, and the latter was as
delighted at being able to do his great
friend a favor as was the little mouse in the
fable when it was given an opportunity to
gnaw the meshes of the net that held
entangled its great benefactor the lion.
Perhaps the simile is a bed one in this case,
as Pete was helping to entangle his friend
in the meshes of a net rather than to die -
entangle him.
The officer well knew that in the course
he had determined on there were many dif-
ficulties to be overcome ; he recognized the
fact (like another great man of recent
times) that it was a condition, not a theory,
that confronted him, and, taking a heroic
resolve, determined to learn Greek—that is,
he determined to learn enough Greek to pop
the question in it, and Pete should be his
teacher. It did not need mAny words, he
soliloquized one short sentence, and
towards the production of this one great
sentence our hero turned the full force of his
great intellect, after covering with a short
stub of a pencil quires of foolscap paper—
why foolscap rather than any other kind of
cap is not stated—he selected the following,
more in despair of being able to do any
better than on account of its perfectfun
LORI •
" Zoe, I love you. Do you love me in re-
turn?'
This was no slouch of a sentence, our
lovesick hero thought, as he surveyed it
vvith his head first on one side and then on
the other, and the author of this veracious
history is inclined to agree with him and
earnestly recommends it to young gentle-
men in similar situations. Pete could
put this gem of a sentence into pretty fair
Greek, all bub the words "in return,"
what did that mean? he asked, and our
hero replied, " Why, to love me iu return
means to love me back." Accordingly the
sentence as Pete understood it read :
"Zoe, I love you. Do you love me back ?"
Now Pete was a precocious child, and
very bright in those things in which he had
had experience, but a little knowledge of
philology would have taught him there was
such a thing as idiom in all languages and
that literal translation often. givee a differ-
ent and sometimes ludicrous meaning. Bob
what he lacked in knowledge Was made up
in enthusiasm for his friend.
He translated boldly like the reformation
translators, and like them arrived at similar
results. Ho knew no distinction between
a noun and an adverb ; so accordingly the
adverb "back he translated into the
Greek noun "ten platen," which is a toll°.
quiet and someWbet slangy Greek word
meaning a "Ototilted back," Pete instead
of the personal pronoun "me," used the
poariestinee Adjective "my " ; so that the
sentencerellinionelY Ronimitted to Mentery
by Michael, instead of being "Zoo, I love
you,; do you love in return 1" read :
"Zoe, I love you ; do you love my crooked
back ?"
At length the fateful sentence was
learned; and one bright morning in Man
Officer O'Callaghan, In his newest uniform,
with two rows of bettors buttons meandering
down his broad breast, his tasselled hickory
under his Arm and, his helmet perched on
one side of his head, boldly marched to-
wards Zoe antl the apple stand, with Pete
closely following.
Zoe spoke to Pete in their owe modern,
ungrammatical Greek, and to Michael in
that language of the eyes where grairunar
outs no figure. But thie could not last
always, and our lover, with his heart gal-
loping all over his body, prepared for that
terrible ordeal which, it is said, causes the
bravemb to tremble. Holding up in his
hand a rosy apple se that passers-by would
think he was asking the price, he repeated
with terrible precision the sentence as he
had learned it.
Zoe did love him, and she said so in
Greek so vehement and voluble that Pete,
the would-be interpreter, did not under-
stand more than every second word. She
went on to say than she did love, and that
the did not mind his poor crooked
back the least bit. The words flitted by
Pete ect rapidly that he succeeded only in
understanding and retaining the last son -
tome.
Judge of our hero's astonishment when
Pete translated this back to him :
" She says she'll marry you, but she
don't like your crooked back the least
little bit." Zoe stood by listening to Pete's
English, her eyes beaming over with love.
Now laughter is closely akin to love, and
for the first time our hero in those Grecian'
orbs saw only laughter ; he was wounded
in his most sensitive point, and that by her
,lannoeed.
Whenrea schoolboy in Ireland his school -
metes used *meal! him Humpback Calla-
ghan, and evn. his brother officers some-
times twitted higood humoredly on his
slight deformity"; \but now, unkindest out
ofthem all, his Beloved Zoe told him
that indeed she wouln, marry him, but she
did not like his hump nsok the least little
bit.
With one reproachful g mice at Zoe he
turned and slowly walked tkvay. Zoe saw
the reproachful glance andn felt, like the
soldiere at Balaklava, that ee ittome one had
blundered." Perhaps, she thotl' ht, he was
going away, as he often did, b cause the
passers-by were beginning to not e., ,Per
haps he would return'. n
Time rolled on calmly and inevitably ad
if nothing had over happened to mar the
happiness of two human beings. Time
rolled on, and every mornifig Zoe burnished
her apples with the same greasy rag and
always looked neat and trim, expectiug
him to return. She had learned enough
English now for all practical purposee.
But he never returned. He is still single,
somewhat more silent than he used tr) be,
but a brave and faithful officer, und Zoe,
with the blue black hair that Michael
admired so much, streaked with gray, is
still the Grecian maiden of the apple stand.
The moral of this story is : Never pro-
pose in a language you do not understand,
and never employ Petros Zarouslci to in-
terpret the reply.—Dorris E. Drone in
Short Stories.
APPLICATIONS,THORDUCHLY ngrwevEs
DANDRUFF
Exulting Wolf Story.
"1 had an exciting experience with wolves
in the winter of '87, up in the Badger
State," said James W. Cheek, a member of
the Long Bow Club, that was holding forth
at the Lindell. "I was up above Orystal
Falls on a hunting expedition and, with a
companies.), had taken posseasion of a cozy
log cabin that nestled deep in the heart of a
great pine forest. There was a dance at a
cabin about four miles distant one cold, clear
night, anti I decided to attend. My com-
panion, a portly Englishenan, declared the
tramp too long for him and I set out alone.
I danced with the country lassies until late,
then started for home through the woods.
I had not gone far before the wolves began
to grow insolent, and by the time that I
had covered half the distance I was coin -
pollen to climb a tree to avoid being re-
ferred to the interior economy of the raven-
ous brutes. There were a dozen of them in
the pack when I took a rise in the world,
but the number kept increasing until half
a hundred were snapping and snarling.
howling and fighting around the tree. I
hed no weapon, and realized that if I re-
mained in the tree until morning I would
freeze to death. I had been fishiug through
a hole in the ice that day and my overcoat
pockets were filled with large fish-hooks
and lines, and among them was a lunch,
composed chiefly of bologna sausages. To
revenge myself upon the brutes and while
away the time, but without any expectation
of effecting my escape, I baited my hooks
and began feeding them to my visitors. I
caught six of them, drew them up until
they stood on their hind legs, and fastened
the line to a strong limb. Then began the
most remarkable circus I ever witnessed.
They danced round axid round the tree, as
though it were a May pole, until closely
wound up, howling like demons meanwhile.
When brought together by the winding,up
of the linen they began a war of extermina-
tion upon each other. The rest of the pack
sat upon their haunches, interested epee -
eaters of the performance, until the fight to
a finish began, when tkey quietly slunk
away into the forest. Yes, sir, I've got the
fish-hooks and the lines for this story."—
St. Louis Globe•Democrat.
Railroads doing business iu connection
with the World's Fair have formed a nice
little trust. They charge full rates for
shipping goods intended for exhibition,
with the understanding that they eau be
returned free. As most of the goods will
be sold at the fair this generous offer has a
large string attached.
Would it surprise you to hear, writes a
correspondent of Mr. Lthouchere Truth,
that the Lofoden Islands, off Norway, are,
on their South side, a terrestrial paradise?
The Gulf Stream warms them all the year
round, and the consumptives of the world
enrich them by taking their cod-liver oil.
The cod-liver oil boss ii Peter Muller, who,
I was told, employs 70,000 people in fish -
m.
ees, factories, bottling, packing ansi so on.
His daughters were the greatest catches in
the Scandinavian marriage market. They
married according to their taste, and hap-
pily, One of them chows from her many
euitors a Captain in the Norwegian Navy,
who left it en hie marriage and became a
distinguished marine painter. There are
pastoral Edens on the ledges of the Lofo-
den Mountains. I never saw more grace in
Combination with the sorb of craggy severity
that one meets with on the west come of
Scotland, with thia difference, however,
that the Hebrides are as though painted in
Indian ink, whereas the coloring in summer
in the Lofoden scenery is indescribably
eplendid. I shall not easily forget how all
, new to it were lifted oub of themselves by
the sail through Rafe Sued.
"By Jove, Bronson, your wife is a charm-
ing woman." "Pm glad you And her so,
Parelotte" "1 do, iudeed. If you Over
contemplate getting divorced, old man, let
me know, will you? I'd like to marry Min.
Bronson myself."
GUARANTEED
D. re OAVEnie
ePreeeMnreeeetinkreetesteer eleset, et Men
bays: Antl-uanatealsepoifoottioncYvvoKoaa•
!hag —its' action t,marystiogs—*4 toy ova nos
0. raw allocations not only moneogtarreovoil
excessive asadrolf necumnintiOn nn iMppou
failing of tho hom made goon and p pie and
promoted visible gtowth,
Restores Fading halt 101
original COM
Stops falling of Italie
Neeee the Reale can.
makes hair soft and eliabife
PrometeeGrOWilt.
NOTHING BUT LEAVES.
Yonne"' Lady Oolle,otors or the Red and
Yellow Leaf,
THE PRETTY AUTUMN TINTS.
ERE now is the season
whoa the girl who en-
thuses over nature's
beauties makes of her-
self a great nuisance in
her home or herboarding
house. It is pretty safe
to say that the house or
mon the room of nine -tenths
— of these impressionable
girls will be in a state of litter for the next
two weeks with dead leaves. For verdure
is now making its final glorious splurge in
color before being shut off by the winter
curtain of bleakness. e
It ie like the final transformation in a
ballet. The most pretentious effect is kept
to the very end. Nature always was a
good stage manager.
A month ago the bathing girl came back
from the seaside with her trunk full of
shells, polished stones, horsefoots and dried
aea moss. The collection was entirely of
souvenirs of some delightful occasion or
other and the things themselves -were "just
too lovely, you Iniow, to leave behind,"
and they would mike such pretty orna-
ments. She knew just how to utilize them
in fanoy Work and it would be such a
pleosure to have them around as reminders
of this and that never to be forgotten event.
WHAT CABLE OF IT.
The rubbish lay around her room for
a while. The shells were ground into the
carpet, the sea moss became powdered up
and dusted itself over thedressing table, and
elle night sbe stepped on the horsefoot and
pricked her pink little feet.
And eowah I now she't got nature on the
nentagain.
inneleinnelmecleautumn leaves can be had
by the bashel. Itelan fascinating occupation
to gather them mill lerkeire the artistic
mingling of delicate and bolatnolorhle• The
one can deny that they are bes>wtefkit nhe
girls simply go daft on the subjs., re. each
year, and this is no exception. Then, tneeetH
they can be put to such practiced use leen.
decorative purposes.
I don't mean to imply that all the sea-
side and mountain trophies are not worth
gathering, too. On the contrary, if pains
is taken in preparing them, they can be
made very pretty adjuncts to the pleasant-
ness of a room. I am simply stating
facies. The fun of gathering them is all
over; they have had their day and now
they are gone.
THEY WILL FOLLOW.
And, whisper, the leaves will go in the
same way ere the sleigh -bells are jingling.
After all the whole attraction in these
things as in everything else lies in the mak-
ing of the collection, whether ie be the
gathering of autumn leaves, the collectum
of a library or picture gallery or the amass-
ing of dollars or honors. It's all in the
getting of it and the anticipation of future
enjoyment. When the time for sitting
down and enioying comes the thing has
palled.
So these girls with a mania for collecting
withering vegetation are only doing the
amine thing that statesmen and financiers
are constantly up to.
The trees are glorious just now in their
autumnal coloring. Brilliant reds and yel-
lows, rich maroons and browns, delicate
greens and grays are all blended together
in such a combination as no artist of human
kind could paint. The great variety of
trees affords the best opportuuties for col-
lecting peculierly good specimente.
IN RUINS BOORS.
There are lots of pretty ways to utilize
the leaves for decoration if one has only the
patience to do it. In the majority of cases,
however, the girls who are so enthusiastic
on the subject lose most of their enthu-
siasm before dinner the next day. All the
available books are filled with the leaves to
press. It does not do the books any good,
for the leaves are very apt to put a stain on
the pages, and it is always the prettiest
leaves'too that drop out and get crushed.
Notwithatanding all these drawbacks a
great rnany people persist and get very
pretty effects for their pains.
The thicker the leaf the better, it will
hold its color. Fent that reason the tough
leaves of the oak and maple are the moat
desirable ; their colorings are usually the
brightest, also. Beech leaves turn a very
pretty yellow, and the long leaves of the
sumac are excellent for effect and aro usu-
ally strikingly colored. The soft maple
leaves are the most, gaudy, but they do not
retain their color as well as those of the
hard or rock maple.'
NOW TO PRESS TEEM
A great deal depends upon the care
taken in pressing the leaves. Old books
serve the purpose better than anything else.
A number of sheets should be left between
each two leaves to absorb the moisture and
even then it is much better to carnfully
change the leaves eaeh day and transfer
themtodry books.
Let the pressing process be gradual. The
first day or two no pressure should be
applied. After that gradually increase the
weights with each change until at the end
of a week or so the harder the leaves are
equeezed the better.
WAXING AND VARNISHING.
'steess
CARTER'S
ITTLE
OVER
PILLS.
Sick Headache and rel eve all the troubles inca
dent to a bilious state of the system, such at
Dizziness, Nausea, Drowsiness, Distress after
eating P1110 10 the Side, 8.:0, While their most
remaritable success has been shourn in curbee
Headache, yet CIARTEE'S LITTLE Iftvna lf°,11As
are equally valuable in Cionstip;Itio9, curlew
and preventing this annoying coinplaint, while
they also correct all disorders of the stomach,
stimulate the liver and regulate the bowels.
Even if they only cured
Ache they would be almost pr celess to those •
who suar from this distressing complaint;
but fortunately their goodness does. not end
here, and those who once try them will Mid
these little pills valuable in so many ways that
they will not be withng to do without them.
But after all sick head
is thobane of so many lives that here is where
we make our great boast. Our pills cure it
while others do not.
OARTER'S LITTLE LITER PILLS are very small
and very easy to take. One or two pills make
a dose. They are strictly vegetable and do
not gripe or purge, but by their gentle action
please all who use them. In vials at 24 cents; '
five for Sl. Sold everywhere, or sent by /math
0AET311 Will11011121 CO., row York.
Isa11Pi1l. 1211 Dom Small 2riv,;
O room with autumn leaves. Any one with
a little ingenuity can devise a thousand and
one ways of doing it. Arranged in az tistic
bunches on the wall and back of pictures is
the usual way. The effect can be heightened
by the addition of a big bow of ribbon
where the stems meet. A woodland
landscape can also be very prettily set off
placing it at one corner of a natured
od frame and on the wide expanse of mat
mre g ue leaves and grasees in some graceful
arranere,* can be utilized in a dozen dif-
gzernent.
ferent ways\ either over windows or doors,
standing inremege;:
some picture frann • r or rising from behind
pANEL DENEATIONS.
If the woodwork in \s„.the room to be
ferably white, the leaves can be d to
color, pre -
decorated is painted some pi .4
geed effect by being glued on wine °w
casings or closet door panels in the foi
of a running twig. Each should overlan
the other and great care should be taken to
avoid anything approaching stiffness or al•
set riAdobenos,vit,
plaster your rooms with leaves.
gel'ail things don't overdo it.
Only have them in one room, and not too
many there.
Go ahead, girls, and enjoy the healthful
fun of gathering the leaves anyway. Per-
haps you will preserve a few of them, and
you will not regret it.
When taken one of the books it will be
found that the reds, yellows and greens of *
the leaves have lore a great deal of their
brilliancy. There are several ways of re-
storing this, and at the same time meking
the leaves more durable. Perhape the beat
way is to rub a hot iron on white wax ansi
then run it quickly over both sides of the
leaf. The thinner the coating of wax left;
the better. Another Way is to paint them
with a thin coat of colorless varnish. Thia
beeves them brittle and unnaturally shiny, "
however. Still Another way, which hardly
pests for the extra trouble, is to tirst go over
the leaves with sizing, put them away to
dry for a day or two, and then wax them.
If you wish to preserve a large branch
intaon to large then pressing is one of the
question, the leaves Inay be preserved by
drying them with a moderately warm iron
until the moisture is all absorbed, and then
ironing with wax.
Verne are too delicate to stand ironing or
waxing and, in fad, they don't need it, as
they will preserve their color anyway after
heir g pressed.
SOME PEETTY WAVe.
It le tamest useless to tellhoW to decorate
".Didn't you say six months ago that if
Miss Meier wouldn't marry you you would
throw yourself into the deepest part of the
sea? Now, Miss Meier married some one
else three months ago and yet you haven't"
"Oh, it's easy to talk, but let me tell
you it is not such an easy matter to find the
deepest part of the ACF1.'
Dukane—I read the other day that a Ger-
man chemist has discovered a brilliant dye
so expensive that enough of it to color a
square inch of surface costs $100. Snaggs—
Hush 1 " Hush ? Why ?" "1 don't want
my wife to hear you." " What difference
would it make ?" "Why, she'd haslet on
having a dress dyed with the stuff right
away. •
" It's a nice point for the physiciet and
the tlie 1 heologian," said r. pr eminent
Chicago phT, sician, to tight over again
that olden battle over what constitutes, the
Ego in man. The surgical folk have dis-
covered of late that for grafting purposes
the skin of a dead man is abouif as good as
that of a live man. Now, if the skin were
dead then it wouldn't sprcut and grow,
would. it 1" -Chicago Mail.
In new stationery pale lilac, with ad-
dress or monogram in darker tones, it
shown. Light, and clerk green are also
shown, and a dark blue, with white letter-
ing, is a novelty. Gray in softest dove
tints bas the address in silver. In a
stationer's shop the other day the
decorative possibilitiea of writing paper
weremost effectively demonstrated by e.
display of 11 10 wheels and stars of colors,
shading from light to the darkest tints.
Felicia—Oh, I am engaged. Estelle—To
whom 1 Felicia—To Lord—to Lord—. Oh,
bother 1 I forget the rest of bis name.
If you have money in the bank you don%
have to be a professor of peernanship to
make your checks worth something.—Ham's
Horn.
$111LOWS
.CONSUIP7ION,
trt_, F
q..,011g 1.7
This GREAT COUGH CUP,E, this see-
m:men CONSUMPTION CURE, is without
a parallel in the history of medicine. All
druggists are authorized to sell it on a pos-
itive guarantee, a test that im other cure eau
successfully stand. If you have a Cougle
Sore Throat, or Bronchitis, use it, for it will
cure you. If your child has the Croup, or
Whoopmg Coegh, um it promptly, and relief
is sure. If you clread that insidiees disease
CONSUMPTION, datet fail to use it, it will
cure you or cost nothing. Ask your Drug-
gist for SHILOH'S CURE, Price to Mee
eo cis. and $t-oo.
NERVE
BEANS
fent 1.1tAXii r.ro .11 he'N ao•
catory thel. onoo tho wort 'ccses 01!
OVOUN LOIE ViZOr and
'A1511( *1; restero the
I vavuloiess of body or mind 4.emed
by evue•Avork, try tilt: cetot, or ...,x-
ett.WatifettWebi 4M17IMi
OZ 3*41.1, 'Ibrft )1P1',.'111b1P
:111tr%r n oh,..tin..ao 1 10.1 eLhor
eeente 'Ore, Ailed 0.,111 1.• • ,Irtig.
r pc. rmr.l.rt % or r„..q
, •,'•• E0.