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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1892-10-6, Page 3tnaerendinnes The ntsuassed Pieter New Yerk in September, a torrid aetuum term, olora bullies typhus fever germ, . ie latter cried, " Friend 'Claus, • bow are yea to -day R osad Itk the papers were penned up down the bay. ' °Was winked his other eye, nd said; "Dar brother Thus, takes more than a quarantine To got ahead of us. "Just because you came from Russia, And I from Teheran, Folks think ere're just as foolish As this biped creature, man. But now that .WO are in hero, Let us alhow this Yankee crew What hardworking foreign emigrants Like us two sports can chi You go over in ` Hell's Kitchen,' • While I stay here in "rho Bend,' And we'll make these people dizzy And a jolly time we'll spend." , `Then Mr. Typhes answered— " You have your plans laid Pat, But I fear, dear 0011Sill That you're talking through your hat." . '"For a year Ivo tried to settle In the swamps or on the ridge, :But the Health Board's keptille a humpin" From the Battery to the Bridge, ' " What with ens••ed disin feetants, And their everlastin' slinks, haven't had a single sleep Of more than forty winks. I'm goin' back to Europe, Where the people always give "Mard-avorkin bactoroids like .is An even chance to live. And if your head is level, You'll grab your coat and grip, • And. 'stead of fight& Yankees You'lljoin me for the trip." Bacillus he was pained indeed, And said: " That's sad to hear, And I think that I'll go with you, For here comes Microbus Fear. He always follows where I go, and stays whore I abide, And downs a dozen to my one; • Confound his measly hide! "He grows fat on fumigation, And boiliug he derides ; ,.A.b arsenates ho snickers, .And just laughs at bi-chlorides. You couldn't kill him with a club 'He's so almighty tough! 'While almost anything downs us, And that's what I call rough 1' "Don't worry, 'Cities," said his friend, As, they sprinted for a ship, i•You'll get the glory, though it's Fear Who'll make these sinners zip 1" And so the twain, disgusted, Departed from our strand, . ,But left behiad. Microbus Fear .To ravage all the land! --hr. It. Herald, E.aock-Oat Blow. He criticized herpuddings ancl he found fault with her cake. He wished she'd make such biscuit as his 1 -nether used to make; She didn't wash the dishes, and she didn'tmake a slew, _Nor even mend his steckingle„atisitkis naoth r' •usecl.to de, • 4: MS mother had six children, but by night her work was done ; His wife seemed drudging always, yet she only had the one. His mother always was well dressed., his wife would be so, too, If only she would manage as his mother used * to do. Ah, well! she was not perfect, though she tried to do her best, Until at length she thought her time had come to have a rest ; So when one day he went the same old rigma- role all through, She turned and boxed his ears just as his mother used to do. fa Chicago. Tho buildings are the tallest In Chicago; The ladies' feet are smallest in Chicago. ' The wits are always keenest, 'The pavements are the cleanest, 'The boulevards are greeneSt, • In Chicago. The newspapers are brightest In Cnicago ; Policemen are politest In Chicago. .Annoyances are fewest, And the jokes are a ways newest, While the skies are ever bluest In Chicago. • The ladies are the fairest In Chicago; And the homely girls aro rarest In Chicago. The husbands are the neatest, While their wives are always sweetest, And the err and -boys are fleetest In Chicago. ' The aldermen are greatest In Chicago; "Their doings are the straightest In Chicago. 'The Winters are the mildest, 9 And the Summers reconeiledest, And— * * The liars lie the wildest In Chicago. LWOW POLICE FORCE. Rew York:s Assistant District Attorney Tells How it is Organized. FREE pRorit pommel, ".Ta" HE hietoey of the Loudon police has • yet to be written, and a very curious record indeed wou Id • be that a the elec. °mine changes, ale ways in the direc- tion of improve- ment, which have been made in the constitution, the discipline and the dress of the Metro- . e paten ad City police since the force, established by Act 10 of George IV., commenced duty on September 29th, 1829. Although the blundering and inefficient force of police constables had by this time discarded their ewallowtailed coats and their stovepipe hats, the city authorities, excepting for a very short period in 1848, hesitated to provide the force with any weapon whatsoever, ex- cepting a lantern and a rattle. Even as late as 1860 the Metropolitan police force numbered only 5,200 constables, although the city had over 3,000,000 in- habitants. At present its total strength is 14,081, maintained at a coot of a little over £1,000,000 ($5,000,000). This civilian army was practically founded by the second Sir Robert Peel while Home Secretary, and was bitterly opposed in the outset by a large section of the public press. The London police force once a national scandal, has now become., however the pardonable pride of every inhabitant of the city. What I write is intended in no sense to be a criticism of our own splendid organ- ization under Superintendent Bymee, but ib seems reasonable that the two great Eng- lish speaking countries should study each other's institutions and profit by whatever is best in both. POLITICS ELIMINATED. At the head of this army of fourteen thousand police is a single Commissioner called the Chief Commissioner of Police. He is appointed by the Queen, and holds his office for life: A general in the army of twenty years' standing is always selected for the place—some soldier who has dis- tinguished himself for his executive ability. The present Chief Commissioner is Sir Edward Bradford, K. C. B., K. C. S. T., who organized. the King of Persia's cavalry some years ago. His salary is £2,500 or $12,500. This Commissioner has the ap- pointment of three assistant commissioners ietntalatary tf- £1500 ($7,500) and allow- ances of about £500 a year extra. These assistants are chosen from the rants of bar- risters who have distinguished themselves for upward of twelve years in the criminal courts. Next in rank come four chief constables, who likewise must be chosen from the list of army officers in good standing. There is strictly no politics in any of these appointments, and they are all for life or during good behavior. It would seem fitting to put an experienced army officer at the head of such a body of men, and especially fitting to join with him as his assistants three experienced criminal lawyers. . In addition to the fourteen thousand uni- formed police there are six hundred detec- tives and five hundred mounted police. 1 he department breed all their own horses, and they board in barracks—all bachelors be- longing to the force—at one shilling a week. n Enigmas." ll'avarited the sweep of the wild wet weather, The wind's long lash arid the rain's free fall, The toss of the trees as they swayed together, The measureless gray that was over them all; 'Whose roar speaks more than a language spoken, Wordless and wonderful, cry on cry, 'The sob of an earth that is vexed and broken, , The answering sob of a broken sky. :What could they tell us? We see them ever, The trees and the sky and the stretch of the land; • But they give us a word. of their secret never; They tell no story we understand. • Yet happily the ghost-like birch out yonder Knows much in a placid, silent way; The rain raight tell what the gray clouds ponder, The winds repeat what the violets say. `Why weeps the rain? Do you know its sorrow Do you know why the wind is so sad, so sad ..Have you stood in a rift 'twixt a day and a morrow, Seen their hands meet and their eyes grow gladl lAs the tree's pride strong at its top's abase- ment I Is the white rose more of a saint than the rod? —What thinks the star as ib sees through the easetnent A young girl lying, bea:utifel, dead °lase of men in the world—the London cabs bies--etand in absolute ewe of the police. This feeling is rohared equally by the trades- people. I was assured on the beat of authority that there was not a disorderly house or policy shop in the entire oity of London with its 690 Naar° miles and its streets and roads ineasuriug 6,600 miles in aggregate length and over five million in- habitente. It is commonly said of London that there aro more Scotchmen there than in Edinburgh, more Irish than in Dublin, more Jews than in Paleetine and more Roman Catholics than in Rome. Nothing is allowed to be sold in the wey of either food or drink after 12 o'clock and every public restaurant or bar met be closed. by 1230. This rule is kept to the very minute, or the Hoene° is forfeited. Nobody once convicted of even a misdemeanor can obtain a license for a bar or public house in London. The fidelity and bravery of the Loudon police was well shown in • 1884, when a couples onofficere on duty at the Parliament buildings discovered a lighted dynamite cartridge in the hallway directly undee the hall in which the House of Commons was sitting at the time. The two men seized the cartridge together and ran with it burning in their hands out into the open courtyard, where it exploded. Both men are cripples for life. Both are deaf and blind, and one has lost hie reason. They were at once promoted to the rank of ser- goents and pensioned for life. One was summoued to Windeor Castle, where the Queen herself decorated him with the Albert medal. The officer who was confined to the hospital was then visited by the Queen in person, who preeented him with the Albert medal. The latest innovation among the London police is the introduction of a lamp fed by electricity in lieu of the oil lamp or dark lantern. Every constable on the force is to he provided with one. The advantage of the new illuminating agent for the dectec- tion of crime and criminals will be obvious, for the piercing rays of the electric lamp will be a veritable search light—FanNors L. WELLMAN, Assistant Dieerict Attorney. A HONGRE NATION. It is raising on in Pennsylvania Coal Fields. One who desires to study the vital phase of the immigration problem should go to the anthracite fields of Pennsylvania. There he will find one of the richest regions of the earth overrun with a horde of -Hungarians, Slays, Menders, Bohemians, Arabs, Ital- ians, Sicilians, Russians and Tyrolese of the lowest class ; a section almost denationized by the scum of the continent, where women hesitate to drive about the country roads by day, where unarmed men are not eafe after the sinking of the sun. There he will see prosperous little cities like Hazelton, Mahony, Ashland, Shenan- doah, with fine business housee and educated people of fortune, and surrounding these towns great wastes of the commonwealth, diseased by thoueands and tens of thousands of foreigners who have no desire to become Americans, who emigrate to the United States for a few yeare to make money, who have driven to the cities and to the west the great army of English, Scotch, Irish, Welsh, Germans and Americans who once gave stability to the coal regions; in short, a condition of affairs which, if equalled elsewhere, may become more than a national problem—a national peril. They leave their families abroad and eend their sums of money that seem enor- mous when the fact is considered that they belong to the laboring class. The little city of Hazleton is said to send each month to Southern Europe $75,000 to $125,000. Such immigrants, as a rule, make no aitempt to become Americans. They care naught for our country but as a place where they can accumulate enough money to make them independent when they re- turn home. --The Forum. STRICT DISCIPLINE. The pay of an ordinary constable is from thirty to thirty-six shillings ($7.50 to $9) a week. The detectives or inspectors receive £185 ($925) a year, and £5 ($25) advance for each year of service for ten years and then £10 advance for the next fifteen years. After twenty-five years' service they are pen- sioned for life on two-thirds pay. The ser- geants of police receive 45 shillings ($11.25) a week and are only chosen from the ranks of constable. Every one connected with • the force, excepting the Commissioner and his assistants and the four chief constables, must rise in the service from the lowest ranks. No ordinary policeman is allowed to carry a revolver excepting in the suburbs, where revolvers are handed to the men when going out on duty and are inspected each morning to see if any shot has been fired. Each officer must likewise report each use of his stick or truncheon. There is almost no drunkenness found among the force. Most of the men are recruits from the country and are farmers' sons. Any policeman found intoxicated off service is put beck from two to three years in rank and pay, and if found drunk while on service is die - charged at once. While I was in London and enjoying the courtesy of Scotland Yard one of their valuable detectives was discovered intoxi- cated when off duty. He was reported to the Cernmissioner and summoned before him the following morning. This man happened to be a favorite of the superintendent at Scotland Yard, Mr. Shore, who interceded in his behalf before the Commissioner. He had never been reported for any prior neglect during his long term of service, but had, on the contrary, been of great service to the department on account of his fluency in speaking four languages. Commissioner Bradford said that his disposition was to discharge at once, but owing to the excel- lent character given the man by the Superintendent he would consider the ease for three days, at the end of which time he decided to sot the detective back three years in his class and suspend him from all leave of absence for two years. This, I was told, was the equivalent in money of a fine of £65, or 8325. From this instance one can obtain a very correct idea of the discipline enforced under the present Chief Comrnissitmer. NO STREET BLOCKS. A Cure for Laziness. If tbe following story is true, the cure for laziness in Amsterdam is very much more practical than pleasant : A traveler says he saw a strongly built man let down -into a wall, after which a pipe was opened n at the top, and a stream of water was - turned into it Regarding the affair as a • cruel joke, seeing that the man below had • hard work in pumping the water up again, nth° stranger made inquitiee. "Sir," re- plied an old man standing near, "that fellow is, as you see, healthy and strong. I have myself offered him work 20 thrice, • but he always allowit lazineea to get the • better of him, and will make any excuse to beg his bread from door to door though • he Might easily earn it if he chose. We are now trying to make him realize that he must work. If he iltleS the strength that • is in his arms he will be saved ; if he lets+ them hang idle he will be drowned." • About an hour later the "man was re- leatted, tired but otherwise unhurt. --Drake's Magazine, . An Rarly'ettart. ' Barcilay—Dordt you think all young min- • istersi shotild marry before accepting a •ohergo ? Mrs. de Pischpal—Oh, certainly ' -r pro- • viding ell our num girls could live intciwne -*there there aro theologital seminaries. Iriar ALL 00 IT. The Wan a Woman Will Ingest on +netting Oir a, Street Cur. "Hold up a bit, ma'am," said the con. duotor, warningly ; "the cer'll step on t'other side of the street." The woman gave hint a scornful glenee. She was tall and angular, and the tip ot her nose uplifted perceptibly as elle re plied: "You've enough to mind your own busi- ness," and then eidled down upon the step of ie Wentworth avenue box car, It was last night, but an electric light made the otreet as bright as deY. "Don't do it, ma'am," he persisted. "'Tis my business to warn ye." Then he stretched forth his arm to atop her as the horses began to slacken, obedient to the pull of the bell. The Clubman joined his voice with that of the coaduotor. Too late. Nimbly she sprang ground. ward, first turning her back upon the horse. In her sublime effort to teach couductor and. spectators how much she did know about springing off moving cars she overleaped many feet, then sidled in a demi-curvette, caught upon her left heel, turned half about and measured her full length upon the cruel stones of the street. "They all will do it—jump afore its time to stop, and always backward," cried the conductor, half in despair and half in terror, as he jumped off and rushed to the assist- ance of the proatrate female. Disdaining assistance, she elowly iegained an erect attitude, and then poured out a torrent of wrath. " You sorry wretch she cried, pointing her long and bony finger at the innocent but trembling offiaial." You mean, con- temptible wretch ! Don't tell me you didn't do it, for I saw you signal the driver to touch up them horses just before I jumped. You pizen reseal ! You're jest groanin' now because you didn't break my leg, or neck, or somethiu' !" And much more of the same sort poured from her thin lips. She insisted upon having his number, and called for names of bystanders, all of whom promptly responded by giving her names their mothers wouldn't know them by and addresses that are not in the directory. When the car -had started and the ruffled spirit of the conductor had been somewhat smoothed by the free expressions of sym- pathy from sundry passengers, the man of nickels said to the Clubman: "I'm not saying all women do it, beceuse I know some typewriter girls and women clerks that can jump off and on as nimble as you or me, or any other man. But they're exceptions. It amounts to more than half oue business to wench 'em. I tell you, We • this here way about a woman. She idlers points her face toward her home. If it's in the direction of the driver, then she's all right; but if the car han,gone ten foot • beyond the side of the street she walks on • to get home, she'll spring off backward, and no amount of warnin' or experience '11 teach her any better. "What knocks me out is why they can't wait for a stop. .It's only a few feet at the beet, and they ain't in a hurry, for I've seen. 'an stand. and gossip as long as the car was in sight, after rushin' like mad to jump off while it was movinh "They never charge up anything to their own account. Not they. It's always the conductor that's tripped 'em with his foot, or pushed 'em off, or started up the horses. Mebbe it's because there so used to being waited on and served by the men that they lose their common sense when any of us is around. It jest keeps me miaerable all the time watchin"em 'an blessed if I don'tdream o' nights of their fallire off an' breakin' of their necks. Their gory corpses haunt me in my dreams, an' if tho thing goes on much longer I'll go stark, ra.vin' crazy. Some one oughter invent s patent machine for holdin them tight in their seats till the cars stop dead still. Ten to one that there blessed woman% get me called to the office and lose me half a day which I won't get paid for. There'd oughter be a school for teaching 'ena how to get on an' off, and a law passed to make every one on 'em attend it. Blessed, though, if I don't believe there's Lots of 'em that wouldn't graduate in a thousand yearn"— Chicago Mail. The queen Honors the Highlanders. The Queen's predilection for he High- lands and for Highlanders is well known, and it extends even to the appointment of servants at Osborne and Windsor. The superintendency of the Royal farm . at Windsor, for instance, has- beenin the hand e of a Highland family, the Taits, for two generations, and may- not im- probably remain in that family for a third. John Brown's brother is now the keeper of the Queen's kennel, and John's successor, Clerk, is a genuine Scottish gillie, whose portrait appears in the illustrated papers whenever Her Majesty is represented driving. Clark's brother is a sort of secondary footman, also frequently in attendance. The two sisters who preside over the dairy whence the Queen gets all the butter and cream she uses are Highland lassies, who were until six years ago in the employment of the Duke of Sutherland. Moat of the responsible gardeners, foresters and keepers, both at Windsor and at Osborne, come from the north. All the children of the outdoor servants at Windsor attend a free echool at the back of Cumberland Lodge, and are distin- guished by a suit of Scottish tweed and a Glengarry. Anyone visiting London for the first time is stunned on week days by the tourbillan of movement in its streets, and the constant eddies at all the great Crossings in thewhiii. pool of its leishiess life such as no other city In the , world can show. It l0 estimated that over 20,000 vehicles pass the Bank of England each day. Such a thing AO a block or stoppage in the stream of vehiclefor MOTO than a moment is never allowed to occur, thanks to the skilful manage/tent of the police under the present perfect sys- tem. Thete le on officer at nearly every street corner, and any cabman or driver who Advances a yard beyond the upraised hand of the offieer may expect te have his number taken and is certain to have a £2 fine to pay. If he drives on, his lkense is for: felted. This IR not a rule Simply, for the aw is invariably enforced; and the cense, queue° is absolute oder and freedom from blocks. The police seldom Use force. 14 10 not necepeaty in a city vrhere the latva are enforced with unfailing promptness and' certainty. In .donsequenee perhaps the moot unittly WitlaSR 0LE 'WAS n Tire Tretty Rears nave a intimate me okkinth Cr. The two got on together at Cloud Court, and the two dears began aide:oily spar over who ehould pay the fare of the other. ViThen the conductor resealed them they were +still at it. f‘ Now conductor, if you take her dime I shall hate you." "Lf you take fere rn report you to the company for 'insulting nie,' cried the ether. All the time each was endeavoring to drop a dime into the capacieue hand of the conductor. The remit was that the stone whieh o wicked boy had put upon the rail a few minutes before caused a little, riee of O wheel and a birch of the car that made both women give a. squeak and drop their coins upon the door. After much groaning and internal swearing the conductor found the lost silver and with a very red face he gave two angry pulls at his punch. Then he extended his hand with one of the re- maining dimes in it. "1,11 not take it. It's yours," said one. " 'I'ain'n youre. roa take it." I'll never do it's long'oI live,"cried one with great decision. "It may stay there until the end of time," eaaculated the other. Didn't I ask yea to go downtown with me 2" "Yee, and didn't I ask you to. You'd better keep it. I'd be jout the iseeaneet, spitefuleet thing ha the whole evortol if I took in" "1 should be ashamed to see my faoe in the gismo if I took it" "Web!, ladies, I can't tay Lem all day long waiting for you to settle the :matter. There it is, and he placed it on the mat between the two. "Now, Bessie, don't be etribborn, dear. If you don't take it rm afraid I'd not epeak to yoaa any more." "No, Claire,it'e yours. I'm generally -very yielding, but in thie I'm very firm." Thus they proceeded .ad nausem. Now this is the difference between women and men under rsuch circumstances. The man who gets his change out first says "Two" or "Three," as the case may be, and the other regards it EIS a matter of course. But ladies always will make e great fuss over the matter. So these two ladies. They talked and they talked—in fact, until Tessenty-eecond street AVE43 reached, where the car stopped for a moment+ or two—long encragh for a street Arab to take in the eituation—and the money, all ao quickly that he was up and off and away befene the wen= re- covered their breath, when both raised their umbrellas aloft franticeilyand vocifer- ated in highest key: " Catch hire I Catch him I 'lie aole my money 1" screamed one. "Shoot balm! Shoot him 1" sobbed the other. "He's stole my money.' Then they nagged the ,notadnator, insist- ing that he z2aake good the deficiency— demand he promptly declined to meet. The bottles of their wrath buret. They took his number, insistecl he was no gentleman vaid utterly diequaliEed for his position. Their husba.nds had pulls, strong ones, and they were morally sure he wouldn't be a con- ductor twenty-four hours longer.--aak.90 "Haddon Ball:, Sir Arthur Sullivan has so completely recovered from the grievous illness that threatened his life in the summer that he expects to be able to conduct in person his next opera, which opens at the Savoynext i Saturday. Mr. H. W. Lucy writes n the Sunday Tribune, "Haddon Hall," as it is called, is written in callaboration with Mr. Sydney Grundy, vice Mr. Gilbert, who, in spite of reporta to the contrary, has not returned to the old partnership and is not likely to do so. The story is founded on an old legend of the elopement from Haddon of Dorothy Vernon, who married Lord John Manners, youngest son of the Protestant Earl of Rutland. Haddon Hall still belongs to the Rutland& and it is the favorite residence of the present Duke. To this day is shown Dorothy Vernon's door through which, according to the tradition, the lovelorn damsel stole. Mr. Hawes Craven has painted the doorway as part of the scenery in the new opera. Much interest is excited in the piece, which marks the return of Sir Arthur Sullivan to - lighter opera after his not too successful excursion on high planes. A Lovely Evening Gown. An exquisite creation of white moire and suety -white frostwork lace has a corseleb of the moire running high ab the shoulders,but deeply rounded over the bust. It is waist- line length with a little point front and back. Beneath the corselet is worn a blouse of the lace gown whose long skirt reaches half way down the gown skirt. Above the corselet the blouse makes a yoke that is gathered to a high standing ruffle about the throet. The sleeves had moire tops finished below the elbow with ruffles of the lace. GEMS MADE TO OlIDER. 010 OOPES WOW filtIdatTED., iS .4301hiCiOlt Was to Slurry no Heiress, hut Witte Was wari clerk in a fruit and confectionery store My 'ambition was to marry' anhelra00 end lead a hie of wedded luxury. ',Me ambition, 1 alight add, has not been real- ised. One afternonsa the proprietor and olerks went to a ball ge me, leaving me alone. An foal: Tof nueeo els; irmtb; niaoiwtmaThhinn5iae )od :79b ,wrs e' 1,a, dsclukYt:t thtawhelelaet tat 8d. nt:tarrdlinaetad?dli. a:fraorcidsfut3trhi ntieLtd.: "One thirty-five." " Dollar thirty-five; eh ? Well, charge it, and TheelderIa 'fruit puyrcleirads:rrehaarde iitt 0101 ettbri urna ssOtk etio,af toninrdet aaid rflIurry,; for I grasped " What'n that 1" q3ieriet al the would -ho debtor. I calmly repeated my foie ner statement. "Do you know who 1 aaz ?" he eaid, angrily.Idon't know, nor care ; an money, 910 goods. Order -are orderer" I ,said in one breath, and placed the baectent on the counter. " Why ! That's an insult, it, to me 1" Ifta ana:rlinnelditatnied mienipdu, cl,e,nItgnitheesist ,taiks:tejnoon, "You, you insolent three clollar sa week, till -tapping puppy I'll have thate .baeket or you'll buffer for it," he said hoarneVy and • shook his llst in my face. "Till tapping 1' That hart nena a.nd vaniting over the counter I informee.hins that for two cents Pol wipe the door see 'th his fat form. He put his hand into h 10 pocket, produced a couple of pennieeasa d • told me to " " sailed in," and soon he sailed" own" He howled for the police and stepping ou - I grasped him by his coaecollar and rushee him around the corner. Then I went back! to the store to again dream of heiressessas About an hour later a young lady entered. She was beautiful, and judging by her diamonds and dress -an heiress to a fortune. I did my prettiest, and before: she left I'd received an invitation to call on her that. evening. I thought I was in luck. That evening I called, and she received me as a princess might a princely wooer. She excueed herself for a few -moments, and soon I heard heavy footsteps in the hall. I looked up, and there stood the old gentle- man who had " sailed out." He advanced; I arose, and held out my hand with a feeble • smile said, " How do you do, sir?' "I'll show you how ludo in a minute," he growled, and made a strike at my head with the club he carried. "Don't hurt the poor fool, papa," the 44 heiress " said. Papa ordered her to retina • and then cried, "Coma on, men e Give it to him!" Three tough -looking citizer se stepped into the room. Thmen were professionals„ I think. for every time they Mt I fell, and every time they kicked I wont up. I was dragged • to the door, thrown down the steps, kicked across the lawn and laid- to rest in the ug a coal cart now.—Che. New lame• tr. driving York Recorder. A. WIWI/ Labottellere does not believe that to him that hath should be given. He protested in Truth against the payment of a life peneion of SiEls000 a year to Lord George Hamilton, and a oorreeporadent wrote to say that he should not be so hard upon Lord George, who had recently loot a consider- able amount of money in the River Plate Bank, of which he was 0 director. Labouchere replied: I am sorry that he lost his money, hat this is iso reaeen why he should take mine. Lard George is 46 years old. I think that his warmest admirer will say that he was fortunate in getting a salary of £4,500 per annum, plus the use of a commodious town house daring the last six years, and that, had 10 not been the son of a duke, his position in the navy would have been nmrer that of a powder - monkey then of First Lord of the Admiralty. Bat why should the fact that he did get this enormous salary qualify him to receive from the taxpayer 42,000 per annum for the rest of his life whenever he does not receive the salary of a Minis- ter 2 We have heard lately a good deal about old -age pensions, we have been asked to express our admiration of the Unionists because one of them suggested that a man who had toiled and moiled emtil he a.ttained the age of 65 should receive a pension of five shillings per week, provided that he quedified himself for this handsome pension by subscribing a portion of his hard-earned wages during his youth. Yet here we have a gentleman at the age of 46 quartered on the taxpayer with a. perraion of £2,000 per annum, not because he made any payments, but because for six years he was paid 44,500 per annum and given the use of a house. -Can the difference between a duke's eon and a man who is not a duke's son be more sharply accentuated? How long is this sort of inequality to go on? "1 have always held that the maximum pension granted to any servant of the State should not be more than £500 per annum, and that he thank' not get this until he is past work. This indeed is a concession, for if a, man wants to provide for his old age he can do so by an annuel paymentto an insurance company. There is nothing to my naiad more scandalene than the syetein of huge pensions, based upon the astounding principle that the more a man gete in aelary the more he is to get in pension. But when, as in this case, a comparatively yoang man ia thus secured an income during his life for doing abso- lutely nothing, because he was pitclaforked into a high paid office on account; ,of his family connections, it is high time that the taxpayer shoukl raise a protest." A. Glasgow Chemist Who Thinks He Cam Equal Nature's Work. Numerous methods have been suggested and extensively employed for the manufac- ture of artificial gems, but the production of crystals having the hardness, durability and other qualities, both physical and chemical, of natural atones has, up to the present time, been one of the unsolved problems of applied chemistry. A Glas- gow chemist claims to have succeeded by a simple method in obtaining precious stones that approach in all their characteristics' the noblest products of nature. The details of the process are of course kept a secret. Working on a, laboratory scale and using small vessels, stones have been obtained over ono -sixteenth inch in diameter, and very large numbers have been formed approaching that size. These are hard, infusible at all ordinarily attainable temperatures, and insoluble in auy acid. The bulk of the gems are white, or rather colorless, sapphires. They are compactand transparent crystals, and many specimens have a splendid lustre. By subsequent treatment some of them heve token on the sapphire blue. Apart from the poisibilitioe of the pro- cess in the direetirn of producing the dia- mond, the chief point already establis.hed is that of having found an easy method of crystalizing alumina. The Oriental ruby, Oriental amethyst, and other gems, coming under the heading Oriental, are all of, them only variously colored sapphires, and alumina . forms the chief constituent of the series. There appears to be little doubt that the new process will yield the ruby and other varieties. Apart from ornamentation, their hardness will fit them for mechanical purposes, and their cutting power le remarkable. The English penny -in -the -slot machine for the sale of postage stamps is arranged to hand out a penny stamp with an envel- ope and a memorandum book for a penny. The profits of the business are expected to be derived from advertisements in the mem, orandum books, which will have an enormotu3 circulation minutely distributed, and will therefore be a very attractive medium for advertiser& Cheerful Prospect. A young graduete in the law visited a successfullawyer and aaked his advioe as to the beat general course to pursue in building up a practice. "Above all," said the old lawyer, " keep up your fees. Don't work cheap. If you do, people Will think you are good for nothing. "But, sir, nobody will pay my fees and I shall die of starvation." "Oh, well, you must expect+ to die for awhile—lent after that you'll be all right." —Yoga's Companion. • Too Merlons for That. Her inother—You think it is serious between you and him ? Herself—Yes, mamma. Her mother—Then I'll try to get acquainted with his mother at the reception this evening, Herself—Please don't, mamma, it's tee serious. gallant Drummer (on the porch of back- woods store)—Can I help you to alight, Midst Miss Lyddy Green (who has just, ridden up—No, thank ye, sir, I don't amok*. PON'TS, FOR EOCN,G. DIEN. SOTSIC Mats For Thom To Act ITWITat Remember. Don't be late in the hour appointed for breakfasts, luncheons or dinners. Don't be careless in your personal appear- ance. It is an old saying that the tailor makes the man. Lest your linen be spotless, your finger nails in trine order, yaiiFolothes, without blemish or spots, your hat a shoes in good shape, your gloves well -fitting. Don't be inattentive to elderly persons. The seat near the fire, the comfortable chair, the neweat periodicals—all should be theirs. Don't talk too freely about yourself, your doings, your comings and goings, or your affairs at large. Don't imagine yourself of great import- ance, and to women in particular. A man who is always echoing his own praises is to be dreaded and a bore. Don't smoke in the drawing room or any other room which is not used for that pur- pose. To smoke on the streets escorting a lady is out of the question to all well-bred people. Don't smoke in public places. There is a time for smoking. It is a pleasure men should not be deprived of. But there is a time and place. Don't ask any ,young woman with whom you are slightly acquainted. for her address. Your card presented to her parents or chaperon will decide the matter in your case, and by that you should abide. Young men are not supposed to invite themselves to other people's houses, and when invited their credentials should be of a nature that can be relied upon. Don't, when accosting a woman at table, turn your whole body. Incline your head. Keep yourself in an upright position. Don't lounge or tilt your chair, and be careful not to spill your food on the table, on your coat or in your lap. Vulgarities at table show at all times the lack of good taste and good society. —New York Recorder. Of No Vac Now. Nellie Fosdick—Papa, you inight as well take down the front gate audience. Fosdick pere—Why, daughter, you always have objected to their removal. Nellie Fosdick—Yea, but the city author- ities have hung an eleetnie light right in front of the house. It is very hard to convince a pretty girl that it is necessary for her to know any- thing. Jack -1 have noticed one thing a great many times about the reigning belle. Jess —What? Jack --She is too apt to develop into the reigning wife. "How blue the sky is to-daye'l chirped the optiinist. "Yes, I feel blue ,myself," groaned the pessinaist. "There is no greater bleseingoan !befall a thinker than a union with a woman who is at least his peer in her appreciations," writes Walter Blackburn Harte in the Melo' Englang Magazine 4., "and it, must be re- membered that Balm claimed that appro.. °NUM is complete equality.' A woman worldly enough to proieoba thinker from the world, and unworldly enough to live with him in the world of his thought and iniatibuition, is the ideal wife for the man, o lugli ohne ; and with such a woman a min aim 1117e serenely in the ,motot scleeirshIe middy." queer Proposals of Marriage. When Victoria was a young queen, and a marriage was arranged between her and Prince Albert, she was obliged to ask him to marry her, because he was of lower rank than she. In England, nobody presumes to speak to the Queen unless addressed by her, or shc signifies her willingness to listen, and a proposal of marriage to a queen from mere prince would be looked upon as an insult. Victoria's proposal was made by means of a rose which she gave to the Prince as they were walking together. Nearly everybody has heard of the Scotch - man who asked his sweetheart to marry him by leading her to the cemetery, point- ing out the family lot, and inquiring, plaintively, "Lass, would ye no like to lie there ?" One of the strangest proposale, however, was that of an aeronaut named Walker, who asked a young. lady to marry him as they were sailing mto the air on a trapeze. She zonsented, and it is said that they were to have been married next Christmas; but the young woman, whoee name was Gertie Cameo, fell from a bal- loon at Detroit a few days ago and was killed.—Ezchange. No Cue. Minnie—That was an awful pathethe scene in the second act, but you never cried 0. bit, yeti hard-hearted thing. Mamie—How should I know I was ex- pected to cry ? There wasn't any of that delightful shivery music with it. Purdy a Selfish Love. She—Do you love nie for myself alone? He—Yes, and when we're married /don't want any of the family thrown In. Priscilla—Do you think:it is' right for a man to be engaged to four girls at once t Pierre—Well, it does: seem a little more than can fairly be expected of him. A young lady named Smith jilted a young IMM battled Sallaa when ho asked her if she wouldn't elaeuge her name.