The Exeter Advocate, 1892-10-6, Page 2FAIR WOMAN'S REALM.
Vanity Fair's Efforts to Define
"Vanity."
NOVELTIES IN LADIES' WEAL
Pointe, Hint e an.a, Flora pe of Newe for
reillitlitte Roeder&
FEW weeks ago Len-
• don Tict-Bits offered a
prize of two guineas
for the best definition
of "Vanity." The
definition submitted
by Mies A. Rowland,
78 Median Road,
Lower Clapton, Lon-
don, N. E., has been
• adjudged to be the
best sent in, and a
cheque for two guineas
has, therefore, been
forwarded to the
sender.
SUlik The winning define
o -d° tion is
: 'rose-colored, spectacles through :
: which we view ourselves.
" • " • " ' • ' • • ''t ''''''''''''' ' ''''''' " ' '' ' • ••
The following are some of the deb:aims
sent in:
The thin end of nothing eharpened to a
point.
The reflection of no thing seen in the glass
of self-conceit.
The tendency which most men have to
keep their best goods in the front shop
window.
A bird that has a gorgeous wing,
Yet has no beauteous song to sing.
Fool's food,
Emptiness priding itself on its contents.
An attempt to recommend ourselves by a
behavior contrary to oar real character.
The mittlinurn of egg and the maximum
of cackle.
The egotism of little mode.
A hollow drum upon which any passerby
may play.
A merciful provision of Nature whereby
fools are satisfied with their folly.
An inflated belief in the vastness of our
supreme nothingness.
A mirror in which we always see the
faiths of others, but never our own.
A sensitive plant, which cannot live with-
out the amishine of public applause.
The peacock's tail of humanity.
A grain of sand convinded that it is a
mountain.
The outward fullness of inward empti-
ness.
Everybody's private opinion.
The gilded robes in which Ignorance
wraps itself.
A. mean, petty conceit of any superiority,
showing want of true greatness.
A house of which the roof is emptiness,
the walls shadows, the windows ignorance,
the doors conceit, and of foundation there
is none.
Self-esteem caricatured.
An undue sense of self-appreciaeion.
Man's meanest attempt to oheat Nature.
The incurable "I" affection whioh unfor-
tunately blinds us all.
Pride Amoralized.
The attribute that makes a farthing dip
fancy itself an electric light.
A small " i " with a big dot.
Concentrated essence of self -opinion.
The glory of mean ambition.
A permanent eagerness to bask in one's
own splendor, and to dazzle others by it.
The difference between a fool's estimate
of his own value and the estimate of the
world at large.
Pride, in a state of effervescence.
An overdraft on one's personal account at
the Bank of Self -Esteem.
The caricature of true ambition—regret-
able in great men, laughable in smell men.
That upon which the "knowing ones"
play to attain their desires.
As to Getting Married.
Young ladies who wish to marry take care
to parade their domestic talents. Here is a
curious example of it, which is dedicated to
gourmands:
Six young ladies in Ohio, leaving received
the appearaten of being 'Madded into it.
Of the leen, etreigliteleanginn fent is the
Henry VIII, coat!. Tiere material used is
oinnamme-leroten corthemy with a out prim
Brewni_ the' Wale in OM he theta le the
color ot the noon. While boat the feout
and back are atraight it hi go ad,leated that
it is graceful and chic. The piling pollee'
aod haute ere edged with Iregeled *loon.
The sleeves mid revers' ate Of dark brown
LAUGH AND
mer rocket.
They etopped on the steps ere they wed to the
And site euddenly started and ogee, "Oh, say!
The hey of the house, my dear, is above;
Go run up eml fetch Ite Pew there is a love.
Go look in the closet, just off erom the doh ;
Alin i gron.aetne pocket up there,'
'velvet tend are nerrowly e gewHh miz,k 1 And SO with step that WAS joyous and light
fun About the skirt of this redly fetching lie bounded up stain in the getherieg night.
garMene Yeinet like that Whieh ferrite U1G1 Ann the door of tho. closet be opened quite
VeVara and afeaTnal banded on each eide
ikn. iill
And iVishehiled to himccit ba stepped insiae.
with mn. lieapried n this way w
comin.And he felt for
winter, the place where a pocket he'd
g
be much used, od y for street garments,• And he clutched. with a °humid° the old group,
but also for entire mistumee divine the dine.
seen.
Brave Ladies °Inflame- Then ho thought that the garment was inside
The fair Viennese are growidg weary of out,
pose to Ed the feshions in future for them- And he felt with a feverish hand in vain
eaves. Why, they queetion with reason, For a sup, and he swore with his might and
should we wear a peeticular color or a main.
special cut becanee Parisian milliners say Then he turned the thing up and he turned it
it is the proper thing? There seems to down,
And he jumped on tho cursed old grenadine
be widespread discontent, nob to Pay gown,
revolution, in this roped in fashiases Until, as he lay with the dress on the floor,
realm, Ooly Pared= women are servile If., m
better -halt came up and opened the door.
moue, wear um:location .
the tyranny of la mode de Pa.too, and pro. So with toetli set together he turned it about.
imitators of the
inglf what Use myeterions on dit of the And she took up the gown and she put in her
ha
nd,
orae e commands. In London French And sho pulled out the key with a ensile that
fashions are modified until scarcely recog- was blaud.
niza,ble to their own designers. Elution- And she said, as she stamped on the floor: "1
larly is this true among American women, declare
whose skill in theadaptation and roanipu- That isjust like a man. Why, the key was
lation of modes to mit various styles of right there :"
beauty is quite equal to the fertility of
• Frenchinvention and results in an onei
- Ths latest pathetic ballad s called:
-
nality, individuality and harmony in dress "The Night I Lit the Gas With Papa's
unknown even at tho great dress centre, Breath."
Paris the home beautiful of cootume, —New " He tried to kin me !" " How impa-
York:Sun. dent 1" "But he was interrupted 1" "How
weddings Mose Weddinga. annoying r'
I have long worshipped, and, though on To get a net in an overcrowded street
familiar terms with my deity, I could not car explainnhat you are just from Hamburg
rain enough courage to pep the im- and don't feel very well.
little dosen
, he would toss about restiely
for noure,—Food,
The boy who gotpartly tanned at the sea-
shore now has the job finished at school.
jageme wee confirmed when I was 16
years old, Skagge—Indeed Epiecepalian
or drunkard
I yo e think bathieg is un-
healthy ? Pruuella—Oh, no, unless you get
your feet wet
Vegetables should always be put in cold
water half an hour before lasing them ; it
will freshen them up wonderfully.
Woman never realizes what perfilious
scoundrels men can be until she marries one
ot them and gives him a letter to mail.
Cholly is very pick, Pop-
injay—Poor fellah ! What's the rnattah
with him? Billjay--Cholero, infantuni,
believe.
•attentions from six young men, exchanged
• confidences, and came to a mutual under-
standing.
Although matters seemed to be progress-
ing according to their wishes, there is
still a certain impatience of victory among
Eve's daughters, and they resolved upon aa
audacious Move which ahold prove to the
objects of theiraffection that they were, one
and all, really good housekeepers.
Theyfixed upon a day, secured the house of
O mutual friend and sent out six invitations
to saw:wheat that was to be prepared and
served be, their own fair hands, *Upon the
appointed day the six young men, punctual
to such an appetizing engagement, were
welcomed by six pretty cooks dressed like
the soubrettes in a comedy, with bare arms,
dainty little coma, shore skirts and embroi
dered white aprons. After having con-
ducted their guests on a tour of inspection,
letting them peep into the ovens and over-
see the cooking of the beefsteaks, that they
might be sure there was no trickery, they
all sat down to a table decked with flowers
and enjoyed a delicious meal perfectly
served.
A few weeks later Ohio was the richer by
six more young households.
Novelties in Ithoes.
• The woman whose valne to the shoe
dealer is practically boundless is my lady of
the little feet. The girl who buys a 4 0 or
any such size is usually content with un-
ostentatious black, for in that her feet look
smallest and least conspicuous.
But if she has a tiny foot, her great ambis
tion is to shoe it is such a manner as shall
make its small size apparent to all the
world. For this woman there ere a greet
many novelties shown now.
A new thing in slippers is of blaok velvet,
etarred with tiny steel points, which are
guaranteed never to mune off, as they are
riveted ot to a thin plate underneath. They
are made also in green and brown velvet
and studded with gold. A dainty evening
slipper is composed of bands of openwork
from the toe to the ankle. Theme are
woven with jet steel, silver or gold* as the
slipper requites.
Another pretey thieg th auede shoes
made in two shade e of tan and ornamented
With tan -colored ribbon hows, For house
Wear, dippers in Morocco, lioed with silk,
are shown. These have too a lietle broad
• and Imola) inclining to the common
sense model, but, they are very, dainty
things for all that—if they are email enough
in Size. ---St, Lolls POst Dispatch.
wraps tot Fall Weari
If the faehlorei in wrepti for the coming
nation are not eolectic, then lenient indica-
tions are meet misleading. There le the
eve t popular cape in varietn as to ehape and
also at to length, Then there ars melee*
longe short and medium ; coats thee folloW
the linea of the egere ahd then that hatg
straight and fell atom the shoulder, app'
ently not filled at, all and yen more carefully
'planned than the one that giveit the Bennie
portant questioe, says nowriter in thoBoston Whittier used to admit that he had no
mer for music, and could not tell "Yankee
At my sister's wedding I was beside the Doodle" from "Old Hundred."
objeot of my adoration. Looting through A sufferer from a severe cough says
the marriage service previous to the coin -
that his complaint has one of the modern
menoement of the ceremony, an idem jocular, improtements—a pneumetio tire.
though perhaps lacking in solemnity, semen
Miss Bleecker (patting her friend on the
me.
When the clergyman asked, "Will thou shoulder)—Never say die 1 Miss Emerson
have this man? etc., I murmured tbe (ed Boston)—I do not. I always say ex -
same words inter my companion's ear. Pim.
Somewhat to my surprise and greatly to Mrs. Young --Won't you put away your
my delight, she, with the inide, responded rper now and talk for a, while, Jack? Mr.
The cfromitie thus given was confirmed get to the tunnel.
was announced during the nnptialfestivities. baby has fell out of the window: Boston
Best met for Weans children. mother—" Fallen," you mean, dear. Quick!
The best diet for young children is irnits Run for the doctor!
and grains, with a moderate allowauce of "Do you think that Hatriletwas insane?"
milk. Such fruits as baked sweet apple% "1 need not to; but since I have seen hirn
strawberries, stewed prunes, peaches iand rendered by Vickere in an amateur pro -
grapes can be eaten with hnpunity, pro- &melon I have concluded that he was an
vided they be eaten at regular meals and ediooe
not at all sorts of irregular honre, and. if "This is a very serious case," said the
good bread and milk be added, nothing doctor, examining his patient; "what was
more is needed. Indeed, this diet is the the num eating when he got the bone in his
best for anyone whose digestion ie not throat "Boneless fish, doctor," was the
strong. These constitute the best and paradoxical reply.
most digestible of the fruits, and the oues m • •
He—You don't love me as you did before
lent likely to disagree with the digestive de
I don't believe. She—Of
organs. Children are often made chronic we were married,
course I don't, John. You wouldn't expect
dyspeptics through improper diet before
love a, married man as she could
they are 10 years old. They are allowed woman to
a bachelor, would you?
to eat all sorts of indi,gestible compounds at
irregular hours, to say nothing of mate, Phyllis—I am going to be real economical
fats, coarse vegetables sugar and other this fall. Phyllida—In what way? Pbyllis
sweets, besides deinkingjtea and coffee. It —I am thinking of having my bathing dress
is no wonder that the Americans aro be- trimmed with lace and made over into a
combig noted as a nation of dyspeptics. fancy dress ball -room costume.
" I will." oung--Yea, my love. Just wait until we
while riving home, and our engagement Boston child—Mamma 1 Mamma 1 The
Getting Aeons While esie Dress. The following advertisement recently ap-
If you are limited Mita Mean; and must peered in the Wiltshire (England) Tams:
make one dress serve many needs, choose a 1' Notice—Baptizing . by the Rev. A. E.
color that isnot striking—none of those Johnson, Stononore Water, next Sunday, at
that register theineelves each time on the 10.30a. m. Photographers invited."
retina or Stimulate the unfriendly to count- Mr. LtirkerExcuse me, Miss Snapper,
ing the number of times yen have appeared but I have long sought this opportunity to
in it. With certain olnusge in the dressing — Miss Snapper—Never mind the pre -
of the neck, freak knots of ribbon, lace or amble, Mr. Lurker. Run right, in and ask
some pretty conceit of your own, a single pa. He's been expecting this would come
frock in its time can play many parte. It is for the last two years.
one of those tooches of the homely that "Mo," said Miss Parvenue, " Jenny
Howells mereetimcs lista with such akin, Jones has been prerented at court in Eng.
when, in speaking of two little old maids, England." "That's nothing," replied ma.
he told how their Meek silk (Inner, from "Why, 1 was in court two whole weeks
many makings over, retained the lines of when my sister was getting her divorce.
small holes where the thread was ripped
out, and how they wore them high at the We are just as good as the Joneses."
throat when they went en their little shop- — usually affedts people that way theSympathetic Passenger (on lake steamer)
ping expeditions, and at night "turned It
first time. You'll soon get over it. Uncle
them in " if they went out to tea. Even if
there is a toneh of pathos ahont all this, Josh (from Upthecreek, feebly)—You mean
they were undoubtedly ingenimm and re- wen, stranger,b dt neen' n you t try to com-
sourceful little people. fort me. That dinner cost me seventy-five
Fashion Notes for little Irons% cent13' b gmb '
Sleeves are made with feB ipuffs xesehing Does the point of the back of your waist
persist in curling up when you sit in the
just below the elbow, and gathered on a
fitted cuff, vehicle is trimmed about the car or even 10 80 ordinary chair? If so,
• wrist. sew two inches Of black elastic on the under
mew gee& at emu geed kie aildrmes side, leaving it the least bit tighter than the
dresses. Cheviots its small plaids or cheap dress just over the whalebone, and see
how delightfully it will hug the top of your
are worn a great deal, said make up very
skirt.
prettily.
Small rosettea of balm Albeit are still "1 shall not ask you to look pleasant,"
used for trimming tbe meats of the little said the photographer to the lady of more
dresses, and in all cases elaborate trimming or less artificial beauty"1 shall simply
is not considered in good taste. ask you to gaze upoe your own fair face in
Wide rimmed bats for tbe little one that little mirror aboye the camera."
always in style, and this season ie no ex- And the mirror, being as tough as the
ception. Beaver is to be worn and feathers nhotonraPhet'a ""cience, bt°°c1 the strain
and ribbons are trimmings -need on the UM nobly.
fall hats. The late Archbishop Smith, of Edin-
A simple and pretty hat for a child is of burgh, has bequeathed bis splendid library
dark blue felt svitb a wide, soft brim, and to the Soots College at Rome, and it was
trimmed with a big bow and three email shipped recently for Italy. The Romen
ostrich tips. The stiff felt hats with Catholics of the north lament the loss of
wide brims are'not as pretty as the soft the collection, which was regarded as the
drooping ones, which are so fasbiortable this finest library of ecoladeetical literature in
season. Scotland.
Fall cloaks for little gimlet have the mile Evidently suspenders for women are not
tary capes reaching to the waist. Some new this year, for as early as 1808 Die
have one long cape, while others have two 1 Ramsay, in his history of South Carolina,
and einnetimes three, each one edged with remarks in 'a diatribe against feminine
fart sealskin and mink behig given the dress absurdities that many women will
Preference. This style of eleeh is 'seeming hitch up their petticoate with suspenders
to the majority of children, especially the heedless of the danger of causing cancer of
slender ones. the bosom.
Seen In the anemia
intoYo
the rule aaln—estWate'
ellbussiirneare"just g
in the city,
Old punster—Ali, indeed! Then you have
lots to learn.
An actress should marry sortie man in
her profession, nye an authority. That is
cerbainly a better plan than trying to marry
every man in her profession,
Edwin—Do you think your father and
mother will do anything for ila when eve
marry? Angelina—Yes, indeed 1 They
have promised to come and live with us.
Clara—Wouldn't it be a good rule to give
unmarried women of 20 the right to pro-
pose? Charlie—If sooiety made such a
rule there would never be any unmarried
women of 20.
Why do you return my"
poem after
accepting it ?" he asked. You sold it
under false pretences," said the editor.
You said it was your last and yet you've
gene on writing."
Clara—When the poor fellow fell into the
water I suppose you tried to rescue him?
Chao:Tie—Oh, yes! I telephoned for a doctor
right away. But it was no use ; the man
drowned before he got there.
Cheviot suits, piped with silk on "These apple dumplings of yours, Lo -
edges, that matchethe plastron, ell
belia," said Mr. McSwitt, with erimhasise as
s
pearl bigots of wo.adergui zbadet in he turned the half -eaten one on his plate
handsomely-cerved designs.
over and impeded the other side, are
Empire ankles and bowie, of moire and Positively me on, sir 1" said Mrs,
satin or dbuble-faced ribbonMeSwat, with blazing eyes, bracing herself
.
to meet " Are positively the been 1
Girlie woolen dream with accesaoriee o
ever "--But she had fainted.
velvet of a contresting °der. ,
Sealskin circulars and jackets having a The Mouse Cleaning Semen.
Watteau fullness at the bacle. shThe,ref'12:o?am her azurc eye,
glitter shining
Narrow Inc bindings, heads and taile of g tho carets up and pulling
the animadim
ls for es trim/doge, esti di e 1.3
nags awry.
Large andemail buckles, ot on or two She hag wrapped a towel around her head and
h.g
1,
metals, for millinery Imposes. or donned honso Or oldest OWll
elements must bo finished. though
Eiderdown (milts covered with light -eel- the heavens tumble down.
%red atines in delieate floral designs. And her husband gazes sadle at her soot-be-
13ti11iaut red bengaline for a 'treat in sprinkled face,
Atiacaryasotelitelthiatipiclaawfel costume, as S11.0 filOS
woolen gowns oho -Meng tiny red thread.
1 (le ;
Jet dren en
trimtsms repzenenting large And he wonders and he poeders, as she rushes
half-moons with an aigrette tip the centre.
"CSIltothainsdrefarllo'y be the angel that I wed a year
Plaid draw geode in dark colds cross -
barred with red and yellow, blue, greenee A aPheLdelphie, physician slys that a
etc.
great deal of whet passes for heart disease
At the Centennial Exhibition sixteen Only miEsi dYspepsis, that siervouenesa,
years agopeople word pushed anent on contmoriy, ia eiteple bed temper, endthat
rolling dhaird and shown the queer little toy two-thir s of the eo-calied smalaria is
ealled a telephone and tolii about' the nothing but laaimiss. Imagination, he says
curious light whiner 01080 named Ittusb ha- •rempensible for a niultiteide of Hie, and he
taided to exhibit if be couln ettet it ready in gives cis 811 inetance the ease of clergy.
time. At the NVIex year vore an, who, alter preaching aermert wolf e
of 'tile same people, Will tido abut in elec. take a teaepoodul of sweeteried, water, and
trio carriages and *Malt Wean look at the doze off like a babe, under the impreeaion
electrie lighta and toleplitheas Allin waren- that it was a bota .fidc preeeriptioti of
ital root t
Teach your daughter to run, to swim, to
be neat, to be punctual, to sew, to respect
her elders!, to speak low, to read loud, to be
gracious and graceful, to trust her mother,
to keep a promise when once made, though
the heavens fall.
First Tramp—Bill, how frightened you
look? Second Tramp—Do you blame me?
Just think of the cholera. First Tramp—
Cholera can't be caught except in food or
drink. Second Tramp (with a sigh of relief)
—Then we're all right.
"1 have never been conquered by a
woman yet," said he, bitterly, as he rose
from his knees," ani I will not give up
my hope." "There is more than one way
of getting left," she responded. "Some one
may accept you some day."
It is said that in China the wife is very
seldom mentioned by her husband, but
when he does mention her it is always in
some roundabout way. He has BOMB name
that he calls her in his flowery lauguage
which takes the place of the veord "wile."
"1 know what I'd do if I'd been one of
Mrs. Twernlow's little girls' " said Dorothy,
giving her mother's handan affectionate
squeeze. "What would you do, Dorothy ?"
asked her mother. "I'd run away, and
come and live with you and papa,' said
Dorothy.
Perhaps the biggest horse in the world is
the " White Horse, ' of Berkshire. It is a
figure 170 yards long, out in the side of a
hill. A long way off it looks as though
drawn in chalk lines, but the outlines are
really deep ditches in the soil, kept clean
and free from grass by the people, who take
great pride in it.
There is one good point about cholera. It
does not keep its victims in suspense. If
they are to die, they die -quickly; if they
are to recover, they regain their usual
health and spirits in a day—such, at least,
is the obaervation of Miss Henrietta Ken-
ealy, a volunteer nurse in the Eppendorfer
Hospital, Hamburg. ,
Mr. Flatteman (who has been attempting
to shave himself)—Quick, Arabella, fetch
me 0 towel or something. I've nearly cut
my throat and it's bleechng terribly 1 Mrs.
Flattaeman—Oh, Henry, how inconsiderate
you are—bleeding on the bedroom carpet,
when I've often told you not to shave any-
where but in the bathroom!
Two Women.
know two women, and One is chaste
And cold as the snows on a winter waste,
Stainless ever in act and thought,
(As a man born dumb in speech errs not).
But she has malice toward her kind,
A cruel tongue and a jealous mind,
Void of pity and full of greed
She judges the world by her narrow creed;
A brewer of quarrels, a breeder of hate,
Yet she holds the key to " society's" gate.
The other woman, with heart of flame,
Went mad for a love that marred her name
And out of the grave of her murdered faith '
Shedreoasteh. like a soul that has Passed through
Her aims are noble, her pity so broad
It covers the world like a mercy of Cod.
A soother of discord, a healer of woes,
Peace follows her footsteps wherever she goes.
The worthier life oe the two, no doubt,
Alai yet society' lohcEksulaierout.
W7sccicr miaow.
Rene Bache tells the PittsburgDispatch
that any one who goes out at all into New
Yolk snider can hardly fail to be shuck
with the marked absence or scarcity of
beauty in that exclusive circle which is
called the 400. There are oo few really
pretty girls that you could almost count
them on the fingers of one hand. Why
should thin be so ? Luxurious habits are
doubtless accountable for it. Pampering in
• childhood, with plenty of candy and cake
and limited opportunities for such health.
giving exercises as yew:meters less highly
born enjoy, is not conductive to the most
perfect blossoining. of womanhood. Nor
are balls, beginning well along toward
midnight, and late suppers, calculated to
keep the stomach and liver in good order.
Without a first rate digestion, and a proper
internal economy otherwise, beauty is nob.
Beeirlea, it has been thrathfully remarked
that wine drinking in the soma set is
ahookingly prevalent among womete even
with those who are unmarried, and should
he restrained from going beyond a tip or
two of champagne.
No lady will be received ia society this
winter urdese her clothes have the regula-
tion quarantine odor. This is official.
A greet many respectable citizen who
bed little bete on Sullivan are umenimously
of the opinion that, prize fighting is a dis-
grace to civilization.
"He who rune may reed " is often a great
help to the abaconding ceshier, who thereby
leatne from the newspapers how his pur-
mars are getting on.
. Perhaps the time when a womanhood
feels that she is the full equal of any man la
when elle has beget to feel at horn on a
bicycle. —,Ram's flora.
She—I wonder "why it 10 than womett are
not ea great poets as men are? He—That's
80 eriey one. The Muse is a evoman, and it
taken te Man to manage her.
is wainied, offer thie el:seeking, it will be
found to be perfectly white.
Clustomer—The leather Seems very thin
in this purse. Merchant—You pee, Mies,
it hi Russia leather, and, eon know they have
been having ouch a, terrible famine over
there.
" When I wee as little girl,"
began. "You never were a
Jimmieboy," said the visitor,
was, returned jimmeyboy.
dresses till I was gone on 4.'
Polly—Tell me a story, nurse, Name—
Very well honey, what'll it be about
Polly—Oh—abent a—about a dwarf two
miles higb, who lived on aenountain that
was so email you couldneesee it.
Mrs, Smythe—Your s dressmakers bill
came last night, didn't 11 dear? Mrs.
Tompkins—Yee ; why? Mrs. Smythe—
Ohl nothing, only we Woe Mr. Tompkins
down town and I overheard him saying
runnething to John about the poorhouse.
Mre. X.—I understand that they have a
marriageable daughter—yes and a dissi-
pated son, Mrs. .—Indeed?YNo wonder
they are so popular.
He—I eee by the paper that a Kentucky
Congressman is to open the World's Fair
with an oration.. She—I'm so glad to hear
it. I was afraid he might want to open it
with a corkscrew.
He (salesman)—Dear little hand (absent.
rniudedly) I wonder if it veill wadi ? She
(conspirito)—No, sir, it won't—nor it won't
ecrub either—but if you want it to play the
piano, it's young, George.
Tho prayere of a woman on her knees
with a scrub bruah in her hand are more
effective than the prayers of a deacon in a
church pew—when it comes to warding off
cholera.—.New York Herald.
Our wife is following the fashion tend
wearing suspenders. She's been wearing
the other things ever since we were married,
and the wonder is she never thought of the
suspenders before.—Billville Banner.
Jimanieboy
little girl,
"Yes,
"1 wore
Persevering Widower—It Was ehe who
drove me to drink, Miss A. little weary)
—Whet. could elle have driven yeti to OM
you would have liked better 7—Life.
Napkins and teble cloths that have 1)a-
oomo yellow and stained should be soeleed
in mem milk for several days, diming and
morphia* whereas, in leek of tine harmlese Oohing tint linen now and then. When it
Bombineki—Whom are you going to hill
next? Redflagski—A mon who tyrannizes
over the laboring men. Bombinski—An-
other oapitaliat, eh? Redflagaki—No. A
walking delegate.
She—What makes you think he is so
much in love with her? He—He has been
three weeks trying to teach her to play
whist.
apple pie, will learn with delight that the
weArind*E"og
what the busy man add to the organ
Providence than this has rarely edified the
ProvidencePie Trust is now drying apples
office.
for 32,000,000 pies. The Philadelphia Record
is moved to remark that " a larger frust in
" Just take a turn around the block," is
grinder who was playing in front of his
Lovers of the delicious, if deceptive, dried
lish clergyman hires a military
band and gives free concerts every Sunday
afternoon, smoking not prohibited. The
concerts are, of course, largely attended,
good order and good fellowship rule and, so
far as heard from, no Bouts have been lost
by the experiment-.
A New York newspaper /tells of two
small black-and-tan dogs that are of
great assistance to a restaurant keeper who
owns therm They are very bright dogs:and
have memories that are truly remarkable.
Their self-appointed task is to waib in the
dining -room until a guest comes in, and if
there ta no waiter present one of them will
rushout into the kitchen or pantry, or
wherever else a disengaged waiter may be,
and by means of two sharp shrill barks,
give notice of the customer's arrival.W The
dogs also see that cuatomers do not leave
without settling their accounts, for if the
landlord is not preemie at the time of a
customer's depa,rno e, they make it their
business to find hint and inform him` that
he is needed at the desk.
The summer giti now declares her inten.
tion of filling her sofa pillows with freakily
gathered hops, instead of the odorous pine
needles, as heretofore. The hop pillows are
delightfully fragrant, and are said to exer-
cise wonderful powers over the gentle god -
den who is supposed to knit up the sleeves
of care that we have been busily raveling
all day long. The victim of insomnia will
do well to try a hop pillow, aided and
abetted by a cup of warm hop tea just be-
fore retiring. The chances are that his
tangled nerves will straighten themselves
out, and he will sleep like a seraph. At any
rate, he will not feel depressed and misera-
• ble in the morning, as he surelywill if he
i
tampers with powerful drugs n order to
produce sleep.
Aparty of gentlemen were the other
evening discussing literary subjecte, when
one asked another to point out the gram-
matical blunder in the Lord's Prayer. Half
o; dozen 'tried. Some thought it lay in the
• word "which art in Heaven," others placed
it elsewhere, but not one detected it in the
expression, "For thine is the kingdom, the
power and the glory." To be perfectly cor-
rect the word is "should be " are,' but
people have ueed it in the present form so
long that they never think of regarding it
as a blunder. There are teachers who say
such an expression is right, because it
sounds rtglit, but reverse it and say, "The
kingdom, the power and the glory is thine,"
and the fault is Soon perceived. --St. Louis
Globe -Democrat.
The household blessed with noble daugh-
ters ought to be a happy one most parents
forget, however, to imbue them with love
of nature, which is so invigorating and
healthful. Give them not only noble teach-
ings, but noble teachers, and give them the
help which alone has sometimes done more
than all other Influences—the help of wild
a,ud fair nature. You cannot baptize them
rightly in incledeep church fonts unless you
baptize than in the sweet waters which the
great Lawgiver ibikes forth from the rock
of your native land. You cannot lead them
faithfully to those narrow, axe -hewn church
altars white the azure altars in heaven
remain, for yen, without inscription ; altars
built, not to, but by an unknown God.—
• The other day a prominent political man,
• ID referring to a passer-by, digressed from
his politics long enongh to say : "11
women realized how much more dangerdas
to the masculine peace of mind is a sweet
voice then a pretty face they would spend
more tithe upon its cultivation." By the
way, have you ever thought whet an
influence a low-pitched, mellow voice
nonemes for you? Five times out of aix
the influence of the minister who touches
the better impuisee of your nature is
tradeable to his deep, rich, magnolia voice.
Put eympather in your voice, not a reek°.
• believe sympathy that the listener will ab
once doted, but the genuine article, Weed
on ad honest interest in your listener.
They may be bores., but if you must talk
to theth force yourself to be interested.
IL is not hypocritical. Itis the very
eseence o enselfishoess, and the interest
will unfailingly ebow hi the sympathetic
tone.
ar.or
How the old 1o?g Vas Becolved by th
"Some of youIrtlueretz741tbele.e.ti Idetne ; Your
very best whiekey. Abe that's like it," and
the onatoreer, menewhet seedy in appear.
once, but with a renterkably bright eye,
filled his glees nearly to the brim, raised it
in front of his face, gazed at it admiringly
for a moment, and then with a single long
gulp shot it into his elougatecl throat.
Well, I declare to graeious !" ho cried
immediately, "Mr, Bartender, I never had
swill a thing happen to me before in my
life. Reelly, I left my office all in a hurry
and I find I haven't a cent in my pocket.
It's a horrible dilemma for a gentleman toi
be placed in. Never mind, never mini:Vile
added after the bilefeat possible pause,
c"hlia:111Higeol.);()Qniety
?'baeks it ao u nfili:ri u y
n 1 eo ntt w
oihai
i
tih
tin'et
no change adore yer runs yer hands into yer
pocket!? It's a old trick, but yer played it
desperate poor. Allem run yer hands in
fust—this ere way. Then let yer jaws
tumble down eadlike, ate an' then say as to•
how yer little boy must er slipped the
change out unbeknownst to you. Gin'rally
when it's done handsome I lets it go, but 0
—and the bartender, who had been getting,
closer and clocer to his man, now stepped
out from behind the bar mid eeized his
collar—" Nshon a drink fiend plays it in,
thtt there sorry fashion I takes a part ter
kinder give force 'n 'mere:Won ter it."
So speaking he gave the stranger a vigor..
ous kick that projected him six feet forward
upon his hands and knees.
Assuming a perpiudicular the manturned.
about, and with a emile (laid:
Thanks for the information, which shall
be of future service to me, As for the kick.
sir, I hope it was satisfactory to you. I
really thought, I didn't know you see—I
really thought aud feared you were going
to take the drink from me, You wouldn't
be willing, would you, to let me have
another upon the same terms
He narrowly dodged the beer glass thrown
at him by the now matt bartender and shot
out into the street.
"The idee ?" growled the bartender.
"Left his money ab home. Didn't knOw lt
until he'd drunk the whiekey. How could
he know ie then when he han't run his
halide into his pockets to see, eh ?" and as
nobody could answer him he tried to pick a
quarrel with the porter.---Ohica.go Mail.
Ho—You know there ere some girls Wlio
require that eonipliments ehould be paid
theni alt the time. Sho—t know it I
ehould think it would he awfully tiresorrie
The Wrench Flag.
Do you know how often the French peos
ple have charmed their flags? No -nation
has been so fickle in the matter of their
standarde. In the time of the Franks their'
banners were imitations of those of the
Romans. Clovis adopted the lily as the
emblem of France. Then csame St. Martin
with his blue cape or hood. Then, after
various changes, came the oriflamme,
which was originally the banner of the
Abbey of St. Denis. When St. LOUIS came
from his Entern captivity he marched
under a flag of golden lilies on a white
ground. Nexb came the White cross, used
in the long wars with the English, a,nd up
to the time of tho Revolution white plumes,
white scarfs and flags were characteristic
of French soldiery. With the Revolution
came first a knot of tri -colored ribbons on
the top of the flog -staff. Next a tri -colored
quarter was placed on the upper left-hand
corner of the flag- and border of red and
blue fringed the edges. At the Restoration
the teenier was abolished and replaced by
the lilies, but in their turn they gave way -
gain to the tri -color. Since then the
French flag has changed with every forum
of government.
The Love of Money.
The devil has a tight grip on the man,
whose god is money.
The love of money kills more people than.
the cholera.
The money -lover is never contented.
No man who loves! money alone can ever
be made rich.
When a ms,n loves money with all his
heart, he will break all the commandments
ID the decalogue to get it. -,
The love of money is another name for
the love of the devil.
• The more people love money the less
proepeot there is that they will ever live in
heaven.
To dee the Wind.
Take a polished metallic surface of two
feet or more with a straight edge ; a large
handeaw will answer the purpose. Select a
windy day, whether hot or cold, clear or
cloudy, only let it not ram or the air be
murky—in other words, let the air be dry.
Hold the metallic eurface at right angles to
the wind, i. e., if the wind is north, hold
your surface east and west, and incline it
at an angle of about 45 degrees to the hori-
zon, so that the wind striking, glances and
flows over the edge. Now sight carefully
over the edge at some minute and sharply -
defined object and you will see the air flow
over as water flows over a dam..
Origin of Galati Nonp.
During the reign of Terror in Paris in,
1703, many of the iiobility were reduced
to starvation and beggary. The abattoirs
sent their hides fresh to the tannerin
without removing the tails, azd in cleaning y
them the tails were thrown away. One of -
these noble beggars asked for a tail and it
was Willingly given to him ;ho took it to.
his lodgings and made (what is now famous),
the first dish of oxtail soup. He toldothers
of his his good luck aud they annoyed the
tannees so much that a price was pub upon
them, —Food.
Drowned Ulla at Last.
Papa—Well, Tommy, and how did you!
like it ?
Tommy (who has been to church for the
first time)—Vory much, indeed. Every one
had to keep very quiet, but one man stood
up and talked the whole time,
and at last,
we all had to gat up told sing to keep him,.
quiet.
A woman with an ordinarily poor memory'
will remember every detail of how much
money her husband has epent on hie rola.
tives in the post ten yeare.
An aluminum bieyele 18 proponel, As it,
will probably be So lighe that it w00% hurt,
so much to be knocked down by one the,
almninum bicyele should. be encouraged.
Van Speck—How much do you suppose it
would oat to start e new athletic clnb. Dm
Jones—Not muds. All you need is a
couple of pairs of boxing gloves, a dozen.
card tables ata bar fixturce.
One of the St. Louie papers is re.sponsible
for a ghastly story to the ffout that a Sur-
gebn, while performing an autopsy on the
body of a "rounder," held a lighted matoh
to the man's brains mid that ehey burned
with a blue flame. Thie novel pyrotechnic.
display might be utilized ae a text for an in-
structive temperaree !cot ore about thes
effects of alcohol on the Inman system.
Inevyer—Oh 1 Vim thiek you know it,
ail* don't you ? Witneee—No, not quite. .
For instance, I don't !mow how you manage -
to get a -living.
Maud—Ifow could you be so free with,
to slay /tattering things tcre gift when theta Me. Gabbl'
e an entire atrauger ? Eate—Ro
iS nothing to flatter about her, He—lt, le, aahot, Mt (111.bitS StratVri He lost one arrn
1 OM AO odd yoa aro not that Way. . several yllem ago."