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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Goderich Signal-Star, 1969-05-01, Page 15ook • v BLUE THUMB BY G. MacLEOD ROSS ismomppmemis- 5. THE CONCERT OF EUROPE This particular set, owing to its age and tempermental nature, is operated^ by two French boys for whom the Austrian Countess has more than a passing interest, As a matter of fact she fairly oozes amour, to an extent that I feared for the boys' ability to., resist such displays of infatuation. She has the proportions of a prima donna and a love of opera which fits these proportions well. She is a perfect marvel „of the- corsetieres art. Her husband, on the other hand, is tall and thin and ever at the beck and call of her tempermental nature with cushion; chair, stick, parasol, salt, and kerchief. The company includes a couple, of„Dutchmen, very solid ' men these. They ,- gnverre,-tpget ler in low-pitc"tied growling guttural, only to break into perfect English when' I' address them. There is the usual party of Our Host, M. le Patron, has two main interests in life. The radio and his fishes. The fishes will lreep till next week, for they live in a pond adjoining this Pension. But about the radio UntilytIu have twisted the dials of a vintage five valve,radio set in Switzerland, you may not realize how admirably that little country Is situated for listening -in to .< the "concert of .Europe. The B.B.C. • (London) conies through familiarly, loud; another few degrees of the dial and Faust is with us in his native tongue.. Add the fact thato la Suisse ' is the magnet for the holiday makers of every European country; place the guests in the Salon with the radio set and the Disunited Nations are in sessioki with a vengeance. 4,ish stew . today, or clam chdwder, or whatever yourfa-,4, vorite- rnucky"ti-dish 44. It will contain `fish and eggs, metal and glass. A.recent colemn on personal beefs brought a hair - raiser from W. T. House of West -Gcavenhurst• • Quote: "Question—for what formal education teachers have - done -and -are doing, should his - tory indict them as murder �► ers, manslaughterers, suicitfes and conspirators thereto? I must vote `yes,' because after years .of research I have not been able to find others on whom to place the responsibili- ty for the hell on earth which will be Our Canada in a very. few years now — death and destruction everywhere." It may have been my attack on the beer can that sparked this. But he goes on to say that scarcely any teachers know that ours is a metal civiliza- tion, that we have nearly ex- hausted the most necessary of these metals and that there- fore our form of civilization is ending, " Mr. House -would never make a public relations man for. ei- ther the teaching vocation • or the metals. • industry, but , he sure comes to the point. The same column in which 1 attacked disposable bottles,' • Information needed on John MacDonald burial site brought a letter from — guefis who --= the public relations firm fear the ' -Glass Container t ounril.� Enclosed was a hroc hure. Called "No -Deposit '- Bot- tles ---- A The surnmary of The Study says the facts have shown that, ,properly handled;- the- no=d -e - posit bottle .is not a danger to children or livestock, not a sig- nificad-t-- :our-ce ca.f litter, _-not -a cause of forest fires, not a •problem in. handling solid, waste. How did we get onto forest fires? • It ends on a smug note: "The no -deposit bottle is wanted by the public as'a fprm of conven• ience packaging." Well, I'rr, one .of the public, and •I don't want it. -Also °- "convenience," used to be a noun when I went to school. But the key words" in that blurb are "properly .handled". Do they mean -the facts of the Bottles.. Facts, properly han- dled, can be a snow job. lipwever, nrustnrt get 14 400 up on the bottle. I. promised some fish in this stew. Read the fish.„story the other day. It's too good to be true, but wi1-l. pass - -t -alon; . Local couple was vacationing in California. They were invit- ed to a wine and fish dinner. Hostess- had a huge fish, sal- mon or.something; cooked, gar- nished and put on the table. She went in from the 'patio for a 1ast•mint.ite check and there N,vas the family cat up to its eyebrows in .fish. She squealed for he -r hus- band- He came and like a sensi- ble chap, said. "Turn it over: • - .For a forthcoming, Book III of Hurori Early Houses.t have'a.-:•. chapter about JohW"Macdoria*'a',' surveyor, sheriff, bank manager etc. Searching for his memorial in Maitland Cemetery, I learned that his bursalon Aug. 4, 1873, ,, is not entered in the book. There is no reason to believe he was buried elsewhere; Maitland was opened- in 1868. If n anyone knows the whereabouts of the Macdonald plot I should/ very much like to have V the information. It would be embarrassing to have to write, in the -words- of --Coed-Alexander's. Burial of Moses, that "No man knows that sepulchre And no man `saw it e'er." W. E. Elliott 1 a Holiday an the Yontinong' three school marms from Middlesborough, who.” 1 kers• with suburban gaucheness in the corner by night and are very prominent by `day with rucksack,, , spiked stick, stocknagel,- while undertaking to a rigidschedule, every excursion, every spaziergang mentioned on Fritz's map. They set off in attire which resembles the dregs of the old clothes hamper. There is the German family consisting of portly Ma and :.'Pa, with a sprinkling of grown up brothers, three - skinny daughters replete with bare legs, pigtails and embroidered frocks. There is also an impossible.: boy with a pill -box cap, who spends; his life "wondering why." There is the lone Spaniard -with whom only M. le Patron can converse and ,the German spinster who still has hopes of catching a man and who is forever going off on whole -day excursions with a The readers write they'll never notice'.'„, There was only about •a pound miss- ing, frons the one side. They did, the guests were called in,r and unanimously called it the best fish they'd ever eaten. Host, pleased at his ingenui- ty .strolled outside and saw the -e Wit- lying dead. His thoughts can only be conjec- tured. But three hours later, a-ftcr--- all -the - .t:rests had been_ -t.o..__ hospital and had their sto- machs pumped out, he and his wife got home, just a little harassed. A neighbor woman came to the door. "I didn't want to' disturb you while you had guests, and I'nl terribly sorry, but I ran over your cat and killed it." End of story. - Which. reminds nie of Gracie Fields and the eggs. This is true. I was there. Miss Fields, Lancashire lass with . great voice and comic sense, was on her fourth -last farewell tour. She took the old steamer Ha- monic, on which 1 worked, down the lakes. from Duluth to 41, Detroit. In for late, she chef was breakfast two hours ordered eggs. The sore, but fried them. She sent them hack, because they were sunny -"side ,up. The chef lifted an Oriental eyebrow then his spatula, flipped them over 'on the plate, and -sent them hack in, sunny side 'down. Gracie being a woman, peek- ed, and the poor devil of a waiter, working his way through college, took the Tull force of a Lancashire tirade, while the wily old chef• in the galley, helped himself to a gin, caring not a Cantonese damn about Gracie Fields. HOCMEN 1.) A Complete Line of Master Hog Feeds. 2..) ,Extended Credit on Feed. 3.) Financing For Pigs: Available. 4.) Bulk or , Bag Feed ($5 / Ton Discount For Bulk). ASK FOR COMPLETE DETAILS AT GOWER'S INDUSTRIAL AND GARDENbCENTRE -. 75 HAMILTON ST. GODERICH 524-8761 Gotfve Ire Anotherdd with WICKER the New Storybook Fragrance by PRINCE MATCHABELLI 3.00 and 4.50 Wicker Spray Cologne • 3.50 aridi 5.00 - Wicker comes in all kinds of other lovely ways—everything, truly everything you will need to go live in this otherworld of Wicker. DUNLOP'S PHARMACY J. C. MARIOTT, Phm.B. 108 The Square - Goderich pocket dictionary. Finally there is Mrs. Macfarlane; very Scots, who cannot speak a word of any known language. The French boys are radio enthusiasts. In fact whenever the Countess manages to segregate one of them and becomes soulful - the boys speak German' too - all she can elicit in response is a description of the wonder set they made in far off Alsace, upon which they once heard Sydney, Australia "calling -- calling in vain. This motley company gradually assembles after "Abendessen," attracted by the fitful wails and squarks of Jacques searching for Wien, whence "Carmen" is scheduled t� be ,broadcast, and for which .the Countess' is waiting, so that she can humand sing in accompaniment A 'whistle, crescendo; a stifled grating and "issue of the. Radio Times will appear on Fri..."To a disgusted cry from the Countess of: "Ach nein dass ist London," we pass to the faint strains of a band• Pierre asserts it is "Strasbourg.", One of the Dutchmen crunches in • wit1i what is , believed to be the rebuttal that it is " , genburg," but as the music en l lir atiother shrill whistle; : neither opinion can be confirmed,, To these all;ernate bursts -of music 'and whistled gratings, Pierreis once more explaining to ,a newcomer the radio set he Made, at home in Strasbourg. I havee heard the story so -often I can now build• an identical set. myself. There are - certain essential feati "res which -account- for the suttees fou , of his set, which ' he_ wishes to impress on_.. his latest victim. The coils, it' appears, are' "ganz ganz klein," whilst any capacity 'required . is readilymanufactured out of tin -foil and old glass jam jars. "Dass ist Wien!" breaks in the Countess: "Ja Wien• Ach wie schon!" and she rolls her eyes to the ceiling, transported into a state of delight. But once again ,.the matter of fact Dutchman dashes romance to the ground. "Dass ist der Eifel Touren" he insists. .Meanwhile progress on . the description of the radio set has reached the aerial, clearly a marvel of ingenuity if not in r itself, then at least in the � Method, of . erecti&i. Pierre' is - tracing the lead:in. We are just passing the "fenster" safely; it is all given in immense detail for his is now red hot - and over two ,pictures hanging on the wall, when an ear-splitting crackling brings everybody back to earth. Very gradually Jacqures, who is also a keen bicyclist,, soothes of t the crackling and a soprano voice comes through to equal the screechings of oscillation. The Countess is rolling her eyes, again. "Schon! Schon! dass ist Carmen oh lal-sal-las-las-Lal-la- la.•.." She hums in company with the artists, her eyes caressing- the boy at the dials. Now she is. in ecstasy and for the moment has forgotten to require the attention of her husband, inspite of the audience. But Jacques . is nu longer manipulating the- dials to produce a connected programme bless you! no, he is far away,' engaged on a minute calibration of the set for future reference; so' tliat he may be able'to pick up any station at will from the known setting of the dials. Pierre, for his part, is now balanced in imagination, half in and half out of the skylight in -.h his home; hoping against hope that WI, landlady w i1 not discover him whilst his aerial wire hangs in a spiral down on the floor of the landing The Countess _ still thinks Jacques is trying to get Wien and gives him unheeded encouragement. from time to time, while, the Dutchmen 'are Preparing to leave in disgust at being denied Langenburg: It is but a short half hour since dinner was eaten, but -lo! a huge tray appears, set with coffee, liqueurs, fruit, leckerli eto., etc., and is set down before the German Family. Just a little snack before retiring.'Thus with sounds heard only from the lion house at the Zoo, they prepare to fall upon it. Under the circumstances I believe it would 'be wise for. us to withdraw also from the Concert of Europe'. • FOR QUALITY PRODUCTS THAT HAVE PROVEN THEIR DEPENDABILITY VISIT SHOWROOM HUte - . snso�. 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