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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1892-9-1, Page 3LAUGH AND LEARN. The Saddest Part. Wheri1L10 Bess was but a child She came to me one day Atul laid heed opoo Any cheek Di her sweet babe way, " Papa," she said, "1 want a doll." Wbee could hor father do? Win', heart quite full of parent love I etraightwa,y bought her two. The rime sped on. The crown of youth Lay on her maiden brow. aren she genie to me and said, X want a pony now. The pone came. How glad was To eee her happy face, And on my wrinkled hoart there lay No blighting sorrow's traoe. Alas ! how easy 'tie to give Our treasurers of the heart To those we love, but oh, how hard. It is from them to part. For yesterday she came again, Just as a child, of three, And, blushing, said, "fle's there down stairs, Papa, a,ne. he svante me," The best cure for insomnia is to try to keep awake. When a man is afraid a a woman he can- not) be in love with her. s Sho—At whae age do you think women should marry? lie—Oh, I'm in favor of allowing them to call it what they like. 1VIrs. De Gush—Why does Mrs. De Kash call her husband " papa "7 Mrs. De Mush —Because he is old enough to be, I fancy. There is one good thing about being a commercial traveller. If you get murdered the dear ones at home can prove an alibi. The estimated lose in wages from the strike of the granite cutters of New Eng. land is already $2,S00,000, and the strike still goes on. He—Will you marry zne ? She—No. He—Whoin are you going to marry? She - 1 shall marry whom I please. He—Well— you please me! Tired Traddles--Yeh look awfully com- fortable today, Weary. Weary Wiggins— An' l'd orter. I've juat stolen a ride in from Chisesgo on a refrigerator car. When a young woman begins to sit around and look worried and her husband begins to work overtime and look haggard, Lb is a sign that the couple have begun keep- ing a servant girl. When you struggle through half a column in an Euglieh paper and then bump up against the expression, " but, seriously speaking," you may know that you have been reading a joke. " Was there any evasion on his ,part when you asked him for the money ? ' in- quired the manager. "N -no, sir," replied the collector. The evasion was all on my =aide. He tried to kick me out." Surface—Elder Goodly insists that we ,should never speak ill of the dead. Rowley —Yee, indeed. A few days ago he re - roved our minister for acme remarks he had made about Judas Iscariot. There's one thing certain about white ib :takes a pretty woman to wear it. A plain ”face mast have the color reflections, the • richness of decoration ; a pretty one is =fairer, shining, star.like, in clouds of white. Walter Parrett, the musician who was ...knighted recently by the Queen, played the -organ in a Yorkshire church when only 7 years old. At 10 he performed all of Bach's ett8 preludes and fugues without the music before him. Mrs. Bagley (dropping into a chair and throwing off her bonnet)—We had such a lovely time at the conversazione this after- noon. One of the members has separated from her husband. Mr. Bagley—And? Mrs. Begley—And she was not present. IDidevou know that if you wanted your gowne to have a distinguished appearance youanuat manage to introduce a touch of black into thenee Ib accentuates graceful dines and curves, and has a way of bringing the delicate hues into prominence by con - Teasing friend—What =keit that new baby at your house cry so /Duch, Tommy? Tommy (indignantly)—It doesn't cry so fvery much.. ; and anyway if all your teeth was out, and you hair off, and your legs so weak you couldn't even stand on them, I _guess you'd feel like crying yourself. There are 12 memorial kindergartens at fwork in San Francisco, and six ol them were .stareed by Mrs. Leland Stanford. To put them on a permanent basis she has now set aside 4100,000 as an endowment fund. She had given $60,000 for these schools previ- ously. The one opened in 1884 by Mrs. %Stanford was the first memorial kindergar- ten in the world, is is said. The old joke about the man whomanaged teseget a holiday by taking his advertise- ment out of the ,newspapers is being printed and reprinted with great zest by Western papers. Unfortunately there seems to be some reason in this bit of humor, for the season is now at hand wheu business man relax their efforts to draw custom through primer's ink. If this is not done with the •idea of getting a little vaoation one may inquire what the real reason is. • An eminent children's phyidoian is re - sported as saying that infants, generally, whether brought up at breast or artificially, will in warm, dry weather tele water every hour with advantage, and their frequent 'fretfulness and rise of temperature are ,often due to their not having it. In teeth - lug, spoonfuls of water given every hour or ,oftener cool and soothe the gums, and this, with larger cooling evaporations,often stops the fretting and restlessness so universal at this period. We all eat too much in the summer time. The man who begins a hot sunamer day with a cup of hot coffee, a big slice of beefsteak, • a couple of boiled eggs and two or three • hot, soggy rolls, fresh from the oven, is feimply firing up for the day. A glass of water, a few sips of coffee, a little fruit, a .craoker and a glass of milk constitutes all the breakfast that is needed for suinmer time in this climate' and during the in- tensely hot weather ifa man eats meet once -a day that is generally once too often. A baboon escaped from Sangerka circus at Mallow, Ireland, recently, and ran amuck -through the town. Hie first victim was a ,dog which he eeized and killed after a brief struggle. Ile then bolted into a china Shop, •Where he caught a little girl by the neck, cutting her severely. Driven out from this shop he rushed down Ball Alley lane, where ' he met another child, on vvhose cheek and • neck he inflicted an ugly wound. The furi- ous brute was at last brought to bay in a yard, where he was killed by policemen armed with If a hueband be jealous he is duped ; if crecluloue he is ridiculed; cleepotic, he is hated ; feeble, he is despised; tOoattentive, he in voted a bore; iedifferent, he hurts se/nobody's feelbegs and revenge is mire to Allow sooner or later. There is only one chance in his favor, viz. : that by good luck or through merit or 'skill on his part he may come to be worshipped by hie wife. • In which case let hien be, as the fit takes hina either pleasant or grumpy, brutal Or affectionate, gentlemanly or bOorish, fickle -or faithful, loving or distant, intelligent or Stupid—eeerything will be see down% to him ,itis a virtue. —Daniel Dare, plaits that she can't even mash potatoes. " Did Cant. Begga ever kill a man in battler' "No, he's only a lady-killer." Ocean Grove noting ladies are so proper that they blueh at the eight ef a garter enake. A eboeleaker does not mind going bare- footed, bowls° he knows that everybody knows he does not have to. One of thepoorest men on earth is the one who has no time or ieclination to do any- thing except to make money. Don't measure a man by the length of his funeral procession. A one hearse often contains the remains of a very decent man. He—It woo hardly fair treatment of me, I called on you and you were nob at home. She—Well, I looked out of tho window at you. " What is the matter, Bridget? Why are you going to leave?" "Sure, ma'am our policeman has been appointed to another district." He—Is tide the first time you've ever •been in love, darling? She (thoughtlessly) —Yee, but it's so nice that I hope it won't be the last. "He slapped your face! Well, you pre- ferred a oharge against him, of course." "No, I didn't. I preferred to thump him then and there." Mrs. Jason—jehiel, what is an agnostics? Mr. Jason—Why, it Is a feller that don't believe in neither doctors nor preachers as long as he is in good health. "How about the rent of this house of youre, Jones? Doesn't the landlord ask a good deal for it?" "Yes, he often asks five or alas times a month for it" "Papa," KIM Harry, as he looked at his new baby brother, I wish we had seven more, because with him and me and seven more we'd have a baseball nine." "You ought to be very.glad your corns are cured," said the pessimist's wife. "1 suppose so," said the pessimist, "bub now I can't tell when it's going to rain." Cholly—Do you know, Gov'nor, that sometimes I think life is not worth living? The Gov'nor—I'm sure that the life you are living is not worth what ib costs me. Mrs. Weeds—Dear Mr. Hanks will not remarry ; he has burned the bridges behind him. Mrs. Williiags—How ea? Mrs. Weeds—Given all his money to charity. On Koesuth's birthday, Sept lat, a party of independent Hungarian deputies intend to present the patriot with an album with an imposing number of signa- tures. " Well, Jack," said the visitor, "they tell me you have a velocipede." "Yes, sir." "Have you learned to ride it yet ?" "No, sir. I've only learned how to fall off, so Wool—I met a bunco man this morning who had just had a round with a Cape Cod farmer. Van Pelt—Did he skin him Wool —Yes ; the bunco men was crying when I saw him. "How is it that you look so cool and cheerful on this hot day 7" "Well, I have just had a talk with the oldest inhu.bisatit, and he remembers summers when is was twice as hot as this." Oillot, a Frenchman, believes that he has solved the problem of long distance tele. phoning under water and that it will soon be possible to carryon conversation between Paris and New York. The reason that men rioh enough to live in the country and work in the city always want a whole seat to themselves in a rail- way oar is not beoause they are selfish but because they are half dead. When you eee a newspaper soundly berat- ing some letter writer for being too cowardly to sign his name look at the head of the paper, and ten chances to one you will not find a solitary name there. Agent—I have one lady twenty years of age who has $30,000 in her own name. Cus- tomers. Is she good-looking? " No ; but she has got the consumption." "Just the kind of a wife to make me happy. Trother out." Musical enthusiasts often worry their neighbors considerably in warm weather by practising with their windows open. Such conduct is penal in Ems, where the muni- cipality has just issued a decree forbidding any one to play the piano in a room, with open windows uuder penalty of a heavy fine. " In a health resort," states the de- cree, " it is especially necessary not to •annoy one's neighbors." "You need not deny it. I know that he kissed you while you were sitting on the steps last night."Yes mamma, eight or ten times, I guess." " Eight) or ten times! Why—I—you----" "Yes, mamma, dear. I told him the first time if he did it again I wouldn't speak to him, and after that I could not tell him to stop without breaking my word. And I knew you would not want your daughter to tell a The Earl of Orkney and his Countess, formerly known as Connie Gilchrist have taken a residence near the old-fas'nemed Bedfordshire town of Leighton Buzzard. As Connie is a veritable Diana in the saddle, she will be able to indulge in hunting to her heart's content, for Leighton Buzzard is in the midst of capital meets. Connie's Earl has a rent roll of $30,000 per annum, all the land being situated in Ireland, although he site in the gilded chamber as a representative Scotch peer. A correspondent writes to inquire why the passing bicyclist has so grave a mien— why he looks as if he might be pedaling his own hearse to the cemetery. Tho sport of wheeling is described in the bicycle adver- tisements as so exhilarating thab one expecte to see the face of a maaa &wheel constantly wreathed in smiles, his cheeks glowing with the ruddy flame of health, and his eyes sparkling with the vitality imparted by fresh air and exercise. But the expecte,. tions are seldom realized. The average cyclist looks as if he had been sent out to suncsaa coroner'sj ury for hie own inquest. His gaze is fixed about a mile and a half up the road, his lips are set, and the corners of his mouth drawn down until his faeial ex- pression is a mixture of grim determination and utter despair. • How to Make Shoes /Waterproof. Dissolve half an ounce of Burgundy pitoh in half a pint of drying oil, mixed with half an ounce of turpentine. To nee this fluid the shoes must be warmed slightly before the fire and then painted over with the compoaition by mecum of a soft brush, and then allowed to dry and painted over again with the fluid. The shoe e should then be placed hi a warm and dry plaee until per- fectly dry. —New York Recorder, It is announeed that on the occasion of the episcopal jubilee of the Popo next year there will be 700 priestly pilgrnes from the United States, besides nearly hundreds from other parts of North America and from South America, attemled by tumorous bishops and archbishops. They are expeeted to reatth 'lane itt Apeil. Gledston0 deolites to be made "Lord LiverpOol." "'When I die I went men to read on my tend:atone, William EwartGlad. Stone." Gladetone eernembers how Disraeli Waggles etsyri that his new 000k is so was bui4e1 m ozie TeletelleldltAIV'S ArfellfhlEs A roaster to *he Tooveir or a Sleuths& Waisted tarirl, • Thaolseray, who detested " wasp.evaisted women," mace told a young relative Who Was •much in love to take his betrothed to a physician before purehasing the engage. ment ring. "What for ?" his companion inquired in conaidereble autonielunent "To see whether that Wasp Waist ie an inheritance or a consequence," he replied. "Consequenee 1" exclaimed the young man; "whet do you mean ?" "Coreete," said ThischeraO IttoonioallY. "Miss-- hen the most beautiful figure itt Euglaucl," said the infatuated lover. "She is deformed," Thackeray responded. "If it is a natural deformity ahe may be a moderately healthy woman. Even hump. lamas are not always delicate, you know. Mind, 1 say moderately healthy. But if that girl's figure is the result of corsets you might better go and hang yourself rather than risk the evils that will inevit- ably follow." ILON. NO. BOSS ON The PRESS. The toast of the press generally comes near the end of the list, and newspaper men, as a rule, him very little to say. Hon. G. W. Ross, in respondbag to the toast " Journalieta as Educators," at the Typo. thetas banquet in Toronto, made a notable speech, which might well serve as a model to othera. We quote from the report;: The theme allotted to me—journalists as educators—is too comprehensive and too weighty to be aucceesfully considered in a brief after-dinner speech. Do not imagine when I say thih that I consider you incapa- ble after dinner of dwelling even upon a greater theme than mine. My own experi- ence of many a banquet is that the repre- sentatives ot the press are quite as fit to be trusted with a place at the foob of the toast list as any other of the guests. At this stage of the proceedings I need not there- fore entertain any fear with regard to your intelligent interest in my subject. Of all the educators entrusted with the duty of giving form and fashion to the human mind, the pupils of the journalist are the most varied in social position, inaa oupation and in mental attainments. I you could bring together in a procession the readers of the humblest weekly for a single year or of your largest dailies for a single day, you would find it composed, perhaps, of the millionaire and the scavenger, the professor and the olown the fashionable lady at a seaside hotel ancethe eervant girl in a sweltering garret, the clergyman and the pickpocket, the statesman and the ward heeler, with all other varieties of rank and station conceivable and inconceivable. What a motley crowd of pupils; and what amarvel of genius must the man be who is capable for 300 days in the year (for Sunday i should not be included) of nteresting such pupils, and in addition make them pay for their instruction. Then look at the journalist's school. It is not a free school. There is no compulsory legislation to secure the attendance of pupils. There is no act of Pediment or of a State Legislature authorizing him to levy taxes for the °reci- sion and equipment of such buildings as he requires. If he cannot collect the fees from the pupils themselves he must go without. if his classes are too large for one man he must increase his staff and pay for such in - °reuse out of his own pocket. He has not even the power of preventing competition, whether reasonable or otherwise. In the face of these diffieulties he asks to be paid for teaching, and to a public not always too discriminating he offers the best products of his journalistic brain. It does appear to me then to be a journalist under such cif.' eametances is to be possessed of more than ordinary courage. Sensible onggestions. It is best to save all egg shells to settle coffee. Lettuce leaves should be wiped dry with a towel and torn apart, never cut. Green corn only needs to be boiled &wen or twenty minutes to be thoroughly done. A young onion cut into a salad mayon- naise of any sort improves it, evon for the people who profess it would kill them to eat onion. Kerosene will make a tin kettle as Might as new. Web a flannel cloth and rub with it. Kerosene will also remove stains and dirt from varnished furniture. Combiag and rubbing the scalp of the head with the hand draws the blood up to the series* of the head, and not only re- lieves the pain at times, but adds new strength to the hair. Eat From the Fingers. Radiehee, olives, salted ahnonds, pickles, celery and asparagus'. • Lettuce, if served with salt ; if with may- onnaise, a fork is required. Strawberries, if served with the hulls on. Peaches, pears, plums and apricots, the larger fruits peeled and divided in quarters. Bread end butter, dry toast, muffins, small cakes and cheese that is sufficiently firm. With the sugar basket the tongs are offered, but frequently the block of sugar eacapes their hold, and theresult is a, splash, as it fells too suddenly into the fragile cup. Fingers are allowed in consequence. An ever -disputed point is whether one can with propriety take the wings and legs of birds in the fingers. It is advocated and condemned about eglaelly, but at fashiona- ble luncheons it is repeatedly done. eustnentee Gone. Elder Berry—I guess Dr. Thirdly is glad this is his last year; hicc influence isn't what it used to be in this perish. Mrs. Berry—How do you make that out? Elder Berry—Formerly when he began to pray for rani folks began to mend their roofs ; now they talk of employing a lay- man wb.o owns a dynamite outfit Meinme--1,Vhat in the world are you two quarrelling about? Little Dick—Nothing. " Nothieg, eh 7" " Yes'm. Dot left her box of candy here, an' when she tisane back there was nothing in it." Chappie—You wooldn't marry me, would you, Miss Sears? Mine Swan —Deeidedly not. Chappie--There ; than's what I told mamma. -She said you would jump et any- body. Rev. Dr. F. E. Clerk, President of the United Society of Christian Endeavor, will :mil from an Francisco Augusb 19oh for Sydney, New South Wales. He le to spend nearly a yearin Aisle and Europe, visiting the numerous foreign Endeavor eocieties. Mrs. Clark accompaties him. Little johnny had hoard the miniater ex. horting his heaters to strive to enter in at the strait gate. A few moments later when the contribution box was paeeed around, he whispered? "Ma, are they after the gate money 7" Do wrote her name upon the sand, And thee, with gentle laughter, She added on & hyphen small And pub ids name right after. " Taka your tine" ie oho of the pick. pocket's favorite mottoes. Despite the bee's reputation for steedy devotion to haainees ib is a hum- bug. A CHATHAM MIRACLE, Dr. Oarl Verrinder's Vicissitudes of Torture and of geath. Ile Survives Them all and Inecennte eon Wonderful Deliverance From Poverty and Death. and BO IlestOratIOR to Frosperity aud Vigor or Mind and Body —cood Words for the A. 0. tr. W. (Chatham Planet.) • In a Raleigh Arcot reeidence there lives with wife and one child—a little 10 -year- old daughter—a musician known through- out Ontario, if not the whole Dominion, as a prince among pianists organists and choir masters—a veriaable maestro and "Wizard of the Ivory Keys," and no one who has ever lietened to his manipulation of the great organ in the Park Street elethodist Church, or heard him evoke "magic music's mystic melody" from the magnificent Deeker Grand in his own drawing -room but will declare that his eminence is well deserved, and his peers can be but few among the professors of Divine Art. The doorplate bears the fol- lowing inscription: CONSERVATORY OF NIUSlO. DR. CARL Lao VERRINDIM, Director. lo sit, as did a .Planet reporter a few daya ago, in a very atmosphere of sweet harmony, created by Dr. Verrinder's magician -like touch, was an experience that might well be envied, and one calculated to inspire the most sentimental reveries. But sentimental moods finally vanish and leave one facing the sober and practical side of • life. The music ceased and the conversation took a turn leading to the real object of the reporter's call. "There are stories abroad," said the newspaper man, "regarding some extra- ordinary deliverance from death, which you have met with recently, doctor. Would you object to stating what foundation there is for them, and, if any, furnish me with the true faces for publication ?" Dr. Ver - Hader shrugged his shoulders and laughed. "1 have not," he replied, "been given to seeking newspaper notoriety, and at 55 years of age it is not likely I shall begin, and yet," said the professor, after thinking a moment and consulting Mrs. Verrinder, "perhaps it is best that I should give you the circumstances for use in the Planet. The story of my rescue from the grave might fittingly be prefaced by a little of my early history. We resided in England, where, though I was a professor of music, I was not dependenton ray art, as Ihad acquired a competence. My wife was an heiress, having £50,000 in her own right. Through the rascality of a broker she was robbed almost of all her fortune, while by the Bank of Glasgow failure, my money vanished for- ever, It became necessary for me bhen to retum to my profession in order to live. I do not speak of it boastingly, but 1 stood well among the musicians of that day in the old land. My fees were a guinea a lesson, and it was no uncommon thing for me to } give twenty in a day. We Came ta America landing In Quebec, where anticipetei getting engagement as organist in 1 -he cathedral, but was disappointed. Sabee- quently we moved to St. C.sthuainen in which city I procured an organ and choir and soon had a large clientele. Later, in order as'IL,. thought to better my fortune I took up my residence in London, first fildng an engagement with a Methodist church and afterwards accepting the position of organist ha St. Peter's Cathedral. In those cities I made many warm friends, and their tributes and gifts I ehall ever retaba as among the most precious of my possessions. It was while living in London and pursuing my art with much earnestness and labor that I received a stroke of paralysis. Per- haps,"—here the speaker rose and stretch- ing himself to his full height, thus dispiay- ing his well-built and well-nourished frame —" I do not look like a paralytic. But the truth is I have had three strokes—yes, sir, first, second and third,. and they say the third is fatal, ninety-mne times oat of one hundred. Yet here you see before you a • three -stroke victim, and a man who feeels, both in body and mind: as vigo- rous as he ever did in his life. My ultimate cure I attribute to my testing the virtues of a medicine whose praise I shall never cease sounding as long as I live, and which I shall recommend to suffering humanity as I am now constantly dein, while I know of a. case and ean reach the ear of the patient. After removing to Chatham I had not long been here when my health further began to give way. Gradually I noted the change. I felt it first and most strongly in a stomach affection which pro- duced constant and distressing nausea. It grew worse and worse, I myself attributed it to bad water poisoning my eyabona. One • doctor said it was catarrh of the stomach. Another pronounced it die.betea, still another a different diaansoeis. I kept on doctoring, but getting no relief. I tried one medicine after another, but it was 110 1150. Grippe attacked me aria added to my pain,discomfort and weakness. At last I took to my bed and it a- erased that I was never going to get well. N ening of a nourishing nature would rkm./n. on my stomach. No drugs seemed ta have is counteracting infiuence on the diseesse which was dragging me davve i i.4A1 h , My wife would sit et ray bedeide Raid woieten my lips with diluted spirire, which was all that could be done to relieve me. Besides three local doctors who gave me up, I had doctors from London and Kirtgaton whose skill I believed in and to whom I paid heavy fees, bub without receiving any help or en- courage/none It is true that o. atotnacli pump operation afforded teznporazy relief, but yetl: felt that my peculiar case beetled Some special and particular compound or remedial agent which I knew- uot of. But, at last, thank God, I discovered it. I had been for eighteen months a mieerable wreck, unable to work, unable to oab or to deep properly. My Means Wore becoming exhaueted. My poor wife wan worn out in body aud spirit. Suddenly the deliverer came Pink Pills! Yes sir! Pink Pine— God bless their inventor or discoverer !— have rescued me from the jaws of death end miraculously made me what you eee ine to- day, hearty, happy, with a aplenclid appe- tite, o, clear brain, a capacity for work tend an ability to sleep sound and refreelling Sleep—a boon that only a Mall Who has ex- perienced the terrors of insommie, can rightly appreciate. Bear in mina, my friend, 1 am no wild enthusiast over the suppoeed merits of this inedicine. 1 have tatted the virtue of Pink Pills and am ready to take oath to that efficacy. No one dould Nitrate my faith its them; because what a man has thoroughly proved in his own experience and what he has had eon. firmed itt the experience of others—I 'hive , prescribed the pills to other skit paeans and know what extraordinary good t}iny. hoard effected in their mace he ought to 1.)e convinced is so. I ehall tell you how 1 can. N to try them. .A fellow member of the A 0. IL W., the brethren Of which order heel i.."7"17.7a been more than kind to me diving retY 111^ 440114 aboute1/Iene PukP theiyWerelliee. ik rwhattilbee; &mild accomplish. In fact, I am rather a sceptic On What ate termed proprietary remedies.' Bu t I started to take Pink Pills for Pale People, made by the Dr. Williams Medicine Co,, Brockville. From the Very Arst, one at a dose, I began tc? mend, and before I had taken more then a box or •two I knew that I had fonnd the right remedy and that to the Pink Pills I owed my life, In nine months I have taken twelve tones—just six dollannwath. Think of it, my friend ? Hundreds of dollars for other treatment, and ory ;six dollars for what has made a man Of Me and set me again on the highway of health and pros- perity. There 18 some euletle, life-giving principle in Pink Pills which I do not attempt to fathom. I only know like the blind man of old; "Once I was blind; now I can see ! God, in the mystery of His providence directed my brother of the A. O. U. W. to me, I took it. I live and rejoice in my health and strength. I have no phyincal malady, saving a slight etiffnese in my leg due to grippe. I feel as well as in my palmieat days. My prospects are good. All this I gratefully attribute to the virtue of Pink Pills for Pale People, "and now any story is dope !" as the nur- sery ballad rune. If anybody should ask confirmation of this tele of mine let them write to me and I ahall cheerfully furnish I'll be their friend and advocate while e The Pink Pills were my rescuer and 1 liv The reporter finally took his leave of Dr. Verrinder, but not without the professor entertaining him to another piano. treat, a symphony played with faultless execution and soulful interpretation of the eomposer's • thought. Calling upon Messrs. A. E. Pilkey Ss Co., the well-known druggists, the reporter ascertained that Dr. Williams' Plnk Pills ; have an enormous eale in Chatham, and that from all quarters come glowing reports of the excellent results following their use. In fact Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are recog- nized as one of the greatest modern medi- cines—a perfect blood builder and nerve re- storer—curing such diseases as rheumatism neuralgia, partial paralysis, locomotor ataxia, St. Vitus dance, nervous headache, nervous prostration and the tired feeling re- sulting therefrom'diseases depending von humors in the blood, such as scrofula, chronic eryeipelase, etc. Pink Pills re- store pale and Hollow complexions to the glow of health, and are a. specific for all troubles peculiar to the female sex, while in theesee of men they effect a, radical cure ha all cages arising front mental worry, over- work or excesses of whatever nature. These Pills are manufactured by the Dr. Williams' Medicine Company, Brockville, Ont., and Schenectady, N. Y., and are sold in boxes (never in loose form by the dozen or hundred and the public are cautioned against numerous imitations sold in this shape) at 50 cents a box, or six boxes for $2.50, and may be had of all druggists, or direct by mail from Dr. Williams' Medicine Company from either address. The price of which these pills are sold make a course of treatment comparatively inexpensive as • compared with other remedies; or medical treatment. Berlin's Richest Citizen. Berlin's richest citizen has an annual in - Rome of $750,000. But two persons in Prussia paying an income tax are richer. •A man (said to be a Rothschild) in Weis- babea is taxed on an income of $1,000,000 and another (said to be Krupp) in Dussel- dorf is taxed on $1,500,000. Krupp stands at the top of the one hundred and twenty- eighth class of income taxpayers. The in- come tax rolls for 1892 show that in Berlin in the last year the number of " thaler (seventy-five cents) millionaires" has in- creased from 198 to 223 and that of "mark (twenty-five cents) millionaires" from 1,088 to 1,167. Prussia has but 565 subjects whose annual incomes are more than$30,000 each. Bet MM. Sterilized milk diluted with water and served hot is a good drink for the sick. In hospital practice nurses have often told me that patients for whom hypodermicee of morphine had been ordered for sleepless- ness have been put to sleep with hot milk instead. It is particularly comforting and, of course, exceedingly valuable as a nutrient. Wining to Oblige. Houeekeeper—No, no, no. I don't want anything. . This is the tenth time I have had to say that this morning. Tramp peddler—Don't you want ter hire me ter stay here an' say it fer yer, ma'am ? peels on Wheels. A novel form of duel is reported from Spain, the combatants being mounted on bioycles, and each armed with a knife. The collision appears to home been tremendous. When 'cyclist meets 'cyclistsick list is the inevitable vault. —London Globe An Episcopal clergyman, who rather likes a joke, was engaged to read the service for another minister, and was hurrying to church a little belated on Sunday. A friend, struck by his uncommon speed, asked, "Sir, why so fast ?" "In order that he who runs may read," was the reply. A L.ONG DISTANON electric -power erans- mission plant is now under construction in Southern California by the Westinghouse Meanie and Manufacturing Company and the Peiton Water Wheel Company. The water is brought to the generating steeion through 1,900 feet of 30 -inch and 600 feet of 24.inM riveted pipe, and has an effective heed at the nozzle of 390 feet. A rock tunnel 1,300 feet long was driven on the line of this pipe, and some of the excava- tion waa very heavy. At the power station are four doublefnozzle, 34 -inch Pelton wheels coupled direct to the armature ;thefts of as many Westinghouse alternating geeereMrs of 200 horse -power each. There are also two exciters of 20 horse -power each run by Pelton wheels. The current is taken by two bare No. 7 copper wires for 7 miles itt parallel lines. Then the conduce. tore diverge, one miming 15 miles to Pomona and one 28 miles to SanBernardino, the entire eireuit in the latter case being 56 miles The potential at the generating station is raised by transformers to 10,000 volts, and thus maintained to the sub- stations at the above-named (deice, where it is reduced to 1,000 volts by seep -clown transformers. When & widower begins to be particular about his neckties it is a sign that the un- dertaker has hem paid. Here itt an unertlote, and Mr, Lebouchere vela:hes for its authority, illustrative of the eitlightened tolerance which distinguishes donsiderable section of the Established clergy of England at the end of the 19th century, A perste liztachrag the other day at a entail cotmtry house loraieed his hest - ease butter arid eraser', end inquired where they Mine from, "r0m Pareaer -wife," replied the lady. The person pulled a long face. Serely yen are not D.War.3,1' he 'soul, grave!y, "that X is a Danenter, and Las in rril bit doceixtied Wife's abater." 14,1[11114 Or RUM. TlicY ltsu Imennocives th Mtn end Men Ride Itt ilailroad Cars. The Indian newspapere are complaining of fakirs, who they say, are getting to be particularly who, as railroad pax+ eengers, eays the Boston Your45c4, Tnese hely men are usually very dirty, ae they cannot spare time from their religions; devoe done and incessant begging to attend ti) their toilet, The fakir is addieted to the practice of rolling himself in filth and smearing himself with disgusting sub- stances in order to propitiate the deity he serves. It is hard to decide Whets to del with these objectionable persons when they apply for tickets on the cars. The theme ^ agent e fear that if they refuse to let fakir' st ride it might raise a religious distfirbancet. it is estimated that 3,000,000 of these mendicant prieete are in the Indian pen?' insula Most of them are regarded by the European population as mere Munbuge, whO are too lazy to work for a living. It it be- lieved, however, that many faleire become whet they are out of sheer religious devo- tion, for it is hard to suppose that any • human being through mere love of impose ture, would cement to keep his fists cloaed until his nails grew through the back of his hand, or would hold both arms above* his head until the limbs became withered. The general feeling, however, seems to be that most of the present generation, offaint in India are rogues of the worst descriptions, , who use their supposed eanctity to mak money out of their dupes. • A fakir who applied at a railroad ticket office two weeks ago illustrates the . peculiar problems With which Indian rail- way officials have to deal. He had con- tracted the erroneous idea that in order ta show hie, annotity it was necessary Mr him to wear on his person a greater burden of chains than a priaon convict ever stag- gered under. Chains and iron bands were • loaded on; his person until he could hardly walk. • When asked for a railroad ticket the • agent did not feel disposed to allow all that weight of hardware to be earned, on the • price of the passenger fare He thought it • a dangerousprecedent to establish. He thereforeinformed the iron -bound theologian that if he wished to travel by that line he must put his iron ehains in a box or other receptacle and forward them at the ordinary freight rates. The fakir is usually a most voluble person, and that particular specimen wan nothing loath to- argue the matter. He talked for more than an hour, but could not change or soften the heart of the agent, and at last he betook himself away ire sadness and with all his iron drapery wrapped around him. What Some Things Have Cost. The magnificent national Capitol at Wash- ington has cost, since the laying of the cor- ner -stone in 1793, very nearly $15,000,000, but the State Capitol of New York at Albany, although r.ot yet completed accord- ing to the architect's designs, has already cost almost $20,000,000, and is the mosb e-xpensive building of modern times. The largest ane most expensive city hal/ in the United States is that of Philadelphia, and its principal tower is to contain the largest clock in the world. The greatest price ever paid for a horse was $150,00G given by Mr. Makora Forbes, of Boston, for Arlon, which he bought from Senator Stanford, of California. Axtell, the trotter, brought $105,000 when three years old, while in.1S91 St Blaise was sold for $100,000. One hundred and three thousand dollars has been offered and refused for a Hebrew Bible now in the library of the Vatican at Rome. This makes it the most valuable book in the world, so far as dollars and cents go. In 1635, when the entire Dutch nation was crazy upon the subject of tulips, a sin- gle bulb was sold for $2,200. At each prima it would pay better to raise tulips than to own the mast valuable gold mine in the world. Speakkg of gold mines, where do you suppose the most valuable bit of ore ever smelted in the world, so far as is known, was found? In California, or Australia or India? No, indeed. It was a, lot contain- ing 200 -pounds of quartz -holding gold atthe rate of $50,00 per ton, and was found in a, mine at Ishpeming, Michigan. The costliest cigars ever exported from Havana were a quantity made expressly for the Prince of Wales, and valaed at $1.87 apiece in the factory. The largest sum ever asked or offered for a single diamond was $2,150,000, which the Prince of Hyderabad, in India, agreed to give the jeweller, who then owned the Im- perial, which is considered the finest stone in the *odd. The Shah of Persia and the Sultan of Turkey each possesses a prayer mat, or rugs made of diamonds and pearls, and valued at something over $2,500,000 apiece. The largest end most expensive rug in the world, made of the ordinary materials of which suck things are manufactured, is owned by the Carlton Club of London. A broken wooden horse, with which Napoleon Bonaparte played when a child, was recently sold for 1,000 francs. Think of paying $250,000 for a single• meal 1. That is what a wealthy Roman once did, when he wished to impress a dozen guests with his disregard for riches. The moat valuable of modem paintings is Meissonier's "1814," which was bought by a Frenchman for $170,000. The same gentleman paid $150,000 for " TheAngelus," by Millet, of which you all have doubtless seen photographs or other reproductiona — Harper's Young .People. Down Long Island. First tramp—Did you tackle de dude in a tennis suit ? Second tramp (sadly)--Dat's no dude; doe's Sullivan trainfie. I wonder where de doctor lives. So serious are the results of the absence of the summer resort young man front Estill Springe, Ky., that the managers advertise their promise to "give to the first young man with is dresa suit who applies his board for a week free of Cost." A rivel of the Salvation Army,orgartired. in San Francisco ie about opening a cam- paign against the'Devil in New Yoelt under General" Maybe% formerly fine Heaton - ant of Dennis Kearney in the "sand lots" agitation. • This Maybell has not as yet alarmed the Devil. Life! We've boon long together s Through pleasant and throllgh 010110'v/tether 'Tis hard to part when friende are dear— Perhaps 'twill oast a eigh, a tear ; Then steal away—giVe little warning— Choose thhic own. tiam Sae gee., Good night,' bue le the brighter emu° Did ine "Good morning," —Anna Letitia 13arIntidd. 1it is a great shook to A young 'metaled weinan to realiee that Whim her busbana cOinte helm) it', im net te tell her how Muelx , he thinks of her4b‘tt to got something to 44 This is the season when the summer outer goes boating in the day time and gets sun - struck, goes promenading in the evening and gets malaria and goes home at the end of the week and pita the blues because his money is all gone.