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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1892-7-28, Page 3LAUGli AND LEARN. A Kursk Alelady. Zip 1 I am the boss mosquito ; Sometimes I'm called Skeeter for short.'" I am all right, And hungry enough for six. ani out for blood. If you think I am satisfied To subsist on Lean dudes and summer resorts, Or on the sunburned fishermen With alcoholic breaths, You are "wayoff. I shall lini ger n the moonlight; And haunt the dim piazza At midnight's solemn hour And dine sumptuously on the Girl graduate and the tempting debutante, • I shall sample the blushing cheeks On next year's Juno brides And lull them with the melody - Of my kazoo. T am a skeeter that has got ; Sand, I wear spikes in my Shoes and my kit of tools Is mostly gitnlets I can ceasing the girl in the Lower flat. Get onto my Curves. The hammock girl is in full swing. Mr. Carnegie'm charity doesn't seem to be- gin at Homestead. It is a pretty small wended of which there isn't enough to go round. It is a very rare girl who smiles so pleasantly on an old man as on a young one. Verily, my son, wrath is nursed on the • bottle ; kind Mother Nature has no food -for it. A liberal spirit broadens a man. You can . always detect a liberal spirit in a man's breath. It is surprising how many parents there • are who,try to scold sweetness into their children. Indiana has more Germans than any other : State. They constitute 55 per cent. of the population. No self-respecting Saratoga trunk goes travelling now -a -days without a leather belt around its waist. Woxnen are braver than men. It is not the man who first tackles the ice cream to see if it is poison. According to the returns of the Census there are nearly 2,000,000 more men than women in the United States. " Who steals my purse steals trash," , quoted Mrs. Tompkins. "Yes," observed her husband, " dress goods samples." Mrs. 149-1 like Dr. Winkeye so much. Mrs. 148—So do I. He always advises me to go to such nice places for one's health. Siberia is to have the longest railway on earth. It will extend 1 rom the Eastern coast to Moscow, Russia; a distance of 8,000 miles. " By reptiles we mean such creatures as creep along the ground. Can you name one as an example, Adolf ?" Yes ; my little • brother," Giddy—Whatever temp ed Bricabrac to marry that dreadful-loue ng old maid? e Gaddy—Oh! just his fa 1 for collecting - antiques, I suppose. " What is so rare as steak well done? " said the June poet !sadly to himself as he contemplated the ill -cooked meat set before him in a third-class restaurant. Penelope—Whydo you say Charley Nixon is like a spy -glass? Perdita—Because I can - draw him out, see right through him, and when I am tired of him, shut him up. A man can sit down in a cheap restaurant and smile sweetly at the pretty waiter girl who brings him a miserably cooked mess which would drive him to divorce at home. Little Sadie—Oh, Uncle Harry, Miss _ Brown and Mr. Swift are in the parlor, and . she has her head on his shoulder ! Uncle Harry—That is all right. She has a lien on him. Frankly—Now, I have taken a day off - to see this game, and I want you to tell me where to put my money." 'lankly— Cert, , old boy; just go back and give it to your wife. The Queen has not yet donned the blue ribbon. • Part of Her Majesty's golden wed- • ding present to the King and Queen of Den- mark consisted of a cask of Lochnagar 'whiskey, 20 years old. - First juryman—We can't convict the 'iprinoner of bigamy. Second—Why not? First—His having a wife made -his second marriage null and void. Hence he has but - one wife'and, as I understand bigamy, it is having two. Tenniel, the cartoonist of Punch, is 72 • years old, elastic of foot, supple of fingers, and bright-eyed as in hie youth. He has ,but one eye since a friend's foil maimed him in a fencing bout 50 years ago. But what "an eye for effect" it is! Casper Corker—Say cull ! If I was goin to kill meself, I'd take morphine. Jonas Deadbeat—Don't you never do it. Casper ,Corker—Why not? Jonas Deadbeat—A -friend o' mine did it onct, an' they found 'im an' walked 'im eight hours to bring 'im -to ! , In Brooklyn the other day a father com- plained to a Police Justice that his landlady had kept his baby because he had not paid his board bill. She had cared for it quite a time while the father was seeking work and .appears to think she has a lienon the child's affections. Of the 11,000,000 women in Italy, nearly '.2,000,000 are employed in industrial labor, and over 3,000,000 in agriculture. They are in the majority in the cotton, linen and jute industries, and in the silk trade there are 117,000 women employed, and but 17,- 700 men. Philadelphia has a free milk tent on Franklin Square where thirsty citizens are irefreshed with the cool lacteal fluid, con- tributed by Chester county farmers. Milk has been rapidly increasing in popularity as a beverage during the past three or four years. No saloon, restaurant or stand for the sale of summer drinks is now without it. The greatest sum ever paid for telegraph tolls in one week by a newspaper was the •expenditure of the London Times for cable .service from Buemos Ayres during the revo- lution in the Argentine Republic. The cost of cabling from Buenos Ayres to Lon- don was $1.75 a word, and the Times paid out $30,000 for one week's despatches. In his early youth Mr. Gladstone wrote 4' poetry "—and poetry very poor ofits kind. Curious delvers in the volumes of the Eton Miscellany will find enshrined 'there these first efforts of a clever boy. Hie " Ode to the Shade of Wat Tyler," is, perhaps, the best of Ms verses : Shade of him whose valiant tongue On high the song of freedom sung; Shade of him whose mighty soul Would pay no taxes on his poll ; Though swift as lightning, civic sword Descended on thy fated head, The blood of England's boldest poured, And numbered Tyler with the dead 1 Still may thy spirit flap its wings At midnight o'er the couch of kings, And peer and, prelate tremble too, In dread of nightly interview With patriot gesture of command, With eyes that like thy forges gleam, • Let Tyler's voice and Tyler's hand Bo heard and seen in nightly dream. The new Greek Cabinet seeina to have the Greek symptoms. Such names as Tricoupis, Dragouniis, Theotokis, Simopoulis, Keen - ekes and Tzamados make it as easy of iden- tification 88 Homer's catalogue of ships. How to get rid, of surplusmilk— cheese it. A bootblack may be ignorant,but he is fit- ted to shine in society. There probably never was a man who could wear carpet slippers without looking slouchy and worthless. Mrs. Rice—I have a good dog ; nowwould you buy a gun to scare off tramps? Mrs. Spice—No, a cord of wood. The French and Italian silver coin of 21. and below are 835 fine, but their twenty franc and 10 franc pieces are 900 fine. Dancing is taught in many of the public schools in Scotland, and is made a feature of the closing exercises at the end of the term. Lawyers must be superior to other men, or they are generally seen at their best when going through the greatest trials of their live. Mrs. Bloobumper (looking up from the newspaper)—George, dear, what -is the labor problem ? Bloobuniper—How to get more wages for less work. Tertullian, who wrote about A. D. 195, said that kissing was first instituted for the purpose of discovering whether the person kissed had been guilty of tippling. A railway locomotive earns on an average about $100 a day until it gets smashed up. This would be a good income, but it's life is as uncertain as that of a rented piano. The man who knows it all, And keeps it, we adore; But he who knows it all, And tells it, is a bore. They were juskengaged. " We had bet- ter be married to -morrow," said he. " So soon " M'hm. Your father and I differ in politics, and there is no telling how soon we may lasedeadly enemies." Omitting a few Esquimau exceptions, all other spear throwers appear to be ambidex- terous. The development of a purely right- handed implement points to a southern origin for the original inventor. " Why is it that you are bringing up your daughter to work for a living when you have enough to keep her in comfort at home ?" "I want her to be able to support her hus- band properly if she ever gets married." The fifteen -inch aeriel torpedo thrower, now introduced as a British service weapon for coast defense, resembles in appearance a powder gun, having the axis of its trunnions at or near the centre of gravity of the barrel. M. Zola used 500 gooee-quills five and a quarter pints of black ink and haif a pint of red ink in writing his last novel. Batgoose. and pints of ink alone will not pro- duce novels, particularly of the Zolaistic kind. Vests are quitel ndispensable in this Sum- mer's wardrobe. Every woman who as- pires to dress effects has a drawer full of them. They range from delicate silk with a frill down the front to pique or mar- eeilles. Minnie—I am almost sure that Mrs. Four - hundred has not been accustomed to ,roocl society. Katie—Why? last night she invited Miss Sparrow to sing, and as soon as she began Mrs. F. quit talking. It is said that if good seeds are sown they are sure to come up. It may be added that bad seeds are, edso. In the moral vineyards no need is ever too dead to sprout, to spring up and grow. Even dragon's teeth will make a crop. "Palet is playing in hard luck," said one artist to another. How?" "He painted a picture of the grate in his room, and got it so natural and life -like that a new servant he had threw a scuttle full of coal through it and ruined it" Rev. Dr. C. A. A. Taylor, of the Florida African Methodist Episcopal Conference, has figured it out that hell is really a lake of fire and brimstone'52 miles beneath the earth's surface, and having an area of 544,- 900,000 cubic miles. AS USUAL. He knew "it wasn't loaded," he was "certain %wasn't loaded," And he looked into the barrel of the gun; Then he pulled the trigger gently, just to make assurance sure— And his funeral's to -morrow, prompt at one. Customer—Is this one of your "special sale" days? Dry goods clerk—Yes, ma'am. This is umbrella day. "1 thought it was umbrella day yesterday." " Yes, ma'am. It's been umbrella day right along for about four months, ma'am. Italian workmen testify their respect for Christopher Columbus by donating several days' work on his monument at Eighth avenue and Sixty-ninth street. This is not less touching than the story of the widow's mite. —New York Recorder. The gauntlet glove for shopping, driving and seaside wear is now considered the pro- per thing. For the seaside white and tan chamois are the favored materials. The cuff is frequently embroidered in black or gold thread, with the same stitching down the back. The front name of Adlai Ewing Steven- son, Cleveland's running mate'occurs but once in the Bible, according to the Concord- ance—in I. Chronicles—and then simply as the father of his son, a young man who acted as herdsman for David. The present Adlai acted as herdsman for Grover. Plans are being examined for the construc- tion of a railroad across the main chain of the Caucasus Mountains. The line will have a length of 100 miles, and will present great engineering difficulties. There are to be two tunnels, one four and a third and the other six and three-quarters miles long. Captain Merryat, the jolly British tar, while in New York on the Fourth of July, 1838, wondered why so many men engaged in celebrating Independence Day should be dependent—upon lamp -posts. He had failed to make allowance for the praise- worthy fact that these men had entered into the patriotic celebration with a great deal of 'Tis Sunday in the Morning. The prospect brightens as it nears, Fondly as any lover We greet the day that time endears, Our six days' toiling over; The good wife goes about the house With touches of adorning ; And hunks the while with .pleasant smile— 'TM Sunday in the morning. Onr joy and crown, whose very name Is ever wreathed in beauty; And sets the longing eyes aflame Of him who does his duty; The lazy lout who hangs about, All honest labor scorning, Can never know the pleasure -glow Of Sunday in the morning. Ye need not set your schemes afloat, Unsound and sentimental, To make for us a Sunday coat Of pattern continental; We'll scout it as a tawdry rag, Unfit as an adorning, With which to meet the jewel sweet, Our Sunday in the Morning. Old England loves her day of rest, (Love s bond ye must not sever), And when sho took it to her breast, She took it there for ever' Hands off it then, ye wicked men, Or take a sterner warning; Our treasure truo we keep in view, Our Sunday in the morning. The man who gives while he lives knows precisely where his money goese It is a test that a youth is In love with a Maid when he goes shopping with her. Areong the white gewns worn in England the greater number have tomehes of green. After a woman posses a certain age she would just as soon get married on Friday as on any other day. • " This is leap year," aid Miss Flypp, re- flectively. "Yes, but • look before you leap," replied Miss Fosdick. s Nothing is so fortunately built 48 a, fly. It can attdad on one leg and scratch itself any- where with five legs at once. mamas. 1" said Willie, when he !Jaw the crescent moon, "the man in the moon has turned it into a hammock." , Teacher—Mary? And what is your last name? Young woman—I can't tell, just yet, but the chances are that it will be 8it Are you sure I arn the only man you ever Hreally and truly loved? She— Perfectly sure. I went over the whole list only yesterdey. He—Have you heard ? She—What? He—Miss Spinster is going to be married. She—Oh, yes, I've heard that ever since I can remember ! If you own a house You would like to rent Place an 'ad" in Tire Trsus And you'll. not repent. He—I had several good brushes drivrng in from the races, dear.' She—Well, I should never have believed it; why you're just covered with dust." "Madam, I understood your daughter had married a rich husband." "My daughter, sir, married a rich man, I admit, but he is a very poor husband." -The groom -1 can't see that cheque your father placed among the wedding preaents. The bride—Papa is so absent-minded. He lit his cigar with it. " I think society is so much pleasanter 4 in summer than in winter." Indeed ?" " Yes, it's so delightful to be in the swim during this hot weather." Until August 5th Mars will be nearer the earth than it will be again for fifteen years, and if the inhabitants of Mars want to do any sassing now is their time. " Well, if that ain't mean," exclaimed the prisoner. "Every dunked 080 0' the stories in this here paper they've gimme to read is continued! An me to be hung next week !" Guest (after a delay of half an hour)—I say, waiter, is your name Time? Waiter— No, sir. Guest—Then it must be Tide. Time and Tide, you know, wait on no man. At Atlantic City—" Go out and give the dog its breakfast, Tommy." "Oh, it don't want any, I guess!" " Why not ?" "Well, it had several rolls on tbe beach this morn- ing." " No, Mr. Gilgal," she said kindly, " I am sure I could never learn. to love you." "Oh, maybe you could," rejoined Gilgal cheeringly. Never too old to learn, you know." Judge—You have already been punished many times, I see. Accused (modestly)— Yes, your honor, but please don't forget that I have also been several times ac- quitted. No one knows when whiskey was first made, but, according to Mr. Ashton, it was hardly known until the time of the Preten- der, being a drink strictly of the High- lander s. 44 Your fiancee is a Boston girl, I be- lieve ?" " Yes." "Then I suppose she is familiar with Browning." "1 beg your pardon. The true Boston girl is never familiar with anybody." " Yes, sir," said Mr. Gallacher, " it was funny enough to make a donkey laugh. I laughed till I cried." And then, as he saw a smile go round the room, he grew red in the face and felt foolish. " John," said the minister, " will you take this woman to be your wedded wife ?" " Now, hero, parson, what's the use of ask- ing questions like that? What do you sup- pose I am after—a divorce ?" A lady stood hanging on the strap of a street car, when a workman in the far corner arose and politely offered her a seat. "1 thank you,' she said in a very sweet tone, "but I dislike to deprive the only gentleman. in the car of a scat. "What has become of the big man who used to beat the bass drum ? ' ask ed the private of the drum major. "He quit us about three months ago." "Good drum- mer, too, wasn't he ?" " Yes, very good; but he got so fat that when he marched he couldn't hit the drum in the middle" The late Baron de Rothschild once took a cab to his offices, and, on alighting, ten- dered the proper fare. The cabman re- ceived it, but kept his hand open, and looked at the money significantly, --which caused the Baron to inquire whether it was not right. "Oh, yes !" replied the cabman, "it's quite right; but your sons usually give me double." "They do, do they ?' was the Baron's reply. Well, they have a rich father and can afford ib; I have not." Miss Pinkerly (before the good night)— It's raining so now, Mr. Tatter, that you had better take my umbrella. Tatter— Thanks, Mies PinkerIer, I don't know but I will. But (brightly) I will try and bring it back with me to -morrow night. Miss Pinkerly—Oh, you needn't tronble your- self, Mr. Tutter. You can just as well send it. A Woman— In Stockholm is engraver of medals at the Royal Mint. In Harlem, Mary Evans, is licensed captain of a ship. In New York, Mrs. Elizabeth Gill, pu sues the craft of a cobbler. In Boston, A. Florence Graht, publishes the Woman's Voice and conducts a printing office. In Brooklyn, Miss Cornelia. K. Hood, President of the Kempin Club, is lawyer, lecturer and writer. In New York, Dr. Mary Putnam Jacobi, has been appointed visiting physician of St. Mark's Hoepital. In Syracuse, Miss Ca.therine V. Curry has written 182 perfect words in one minute and broken the record. In California, Mrs. Juana Neal is in charge of the Women's Department of two leading New York life insurance cornpo.nies at a yearly salary of $10,000. In Washington, Miss Calhoun, one of the money -handlers in the Treasury Depart- partment, counted 85,000 coins in a day and didn't pass a counterfeit In Chicago, Miss Amanda. Jones is Pre- sident of the Woman's Canning and Pre- serving Company, capital $1,000,000, and keep a secret the process of canning un- cooked food. Mothers, are your daughterm. pale oa nallow? Remember that the polled when they are budding into womanlaood is most critical, fortify their system for the change with Dr. Williams' Pink Pills, unsurpassed for the speedy cure of all troubles peculiat to females. A trial of a Single box will convince you. Beware of imitations and take no substitute. On Monday evening Wmwpeep, a eco - tion man, working for Mr. lge . 'meet Port etarted to go toeninsuiti ham, bor. He was struck by a freight trait Ma ADELAIDE. A Romantic Story of a Great AOtreSs' Life, I. T is now a long while since the man- ager of a theatrical company, then re- hearsing " The New Year's Present" in the town of Cividale near Udine, declared that no stiff doll should be used to represent the infant introduced into the piece, but that a real baby must be found at once. "Hasn't somebody a baby ?" he cried. A good-looking actor who was standing at one side of the stage instantly nudged his wife with his elbow. She laughed and blushed. •" Mine is only two months old, mon- sieur," he said. " But I can -promise you that she shall know her part, since I can prompt her when it is time for her to cry," "That matter is settled, then," the man- ager remarked, with a sigh of content; and the name of another actress was placed upon the list, and its parents drew a tiny salary for its services in addition to their own. Afterwards people said that the baby really cried and cooed in the right places, and was evidently a born actress. There was after this no want of a baby in the company with which its parents were connected, and at the age of five the little girl had a speaking part of her own. Little Signorina Adelaide created quite a furore in this part. She went to Venice, to Milan and to Rome; and at an age when most young actresses aro seeking an oppor- tunity to appear was well established in her profession. It was at the Royal Theatre of Turin that a young nobleman, the Count Capranica Della Grille, first saw her. The part she played was one that called forth all the powers of her genius and de- manded the costliest and moat elegant costumes and the most brilliant display of jewels. Her dark beauty, wonderful even in the simplest dress, was enhanced by this magnificence, so that it seemed actually superhuman. The young Count leaned from his box with his eyes fixed upon her. His admira- tion was so evident that the whole house remarked it. The admiration of a nobleman for a beau- tiful actress was not uncommon. It gene- rally ended in one way. The nobleman won the lady's smiles, surrounded her with luxury and for a while adored her. Then they quarrelled. When the Count's devotion became mani- fest, as it did shortly, all the world ex- pected this history to be repeated. They were disappointed. The Signorina Ade- laide had wise parents, and was a dignified as well as beautiful girl. The Count's love was tinctured with respect. Shortly he made an offer of marriage to the fair Ade- laide and was accepted. After this he confided to his parents the fact that he was about to marry the best, the loveliest and the greatest genius among women—in fact, the most incomparable creature upon earth—and asked them to congratulate and bless him. They did no such thing. Parents are seldom to be calculated on in this particu- lar, and the young Count's were no ex- ception to the general rule. Instead of rejoicing, the ladies of the family be- moaned themselves with the energy only possible to Italians. The father, instead of blessing, uttered curses loud and deep.] The daughter of a poor nobody ! "An actress !" The son of their ancient family should not so cast himself away. He might be - Broth himself as much as he pleased, but he should never marry the girl. The old Count went to see Signorina Adelaide's father, but was treated' with little reverence. He commanded his son to give up his mad idea and set before him the fact that he was about to disgrace his family. The son declared that the alliance he was about to make would honor it. The old Count prayed his son to re- member his mother's grief, his sister's tears. The young Count declared that they were not to be pitied, since they wept when they should rejoice. Finally the indignant and terrified father had his son seized upon and carried away in a fashion quite possible in Italy and con- fined in an old castle which he possessed in Campagna, there to remain until he pro- mised to give up his loved Adelaide for ever and take for a wife some high-born madame of his mother's choosing. Thus parted from each other, the lovers grieved and yearned and watched the moon, and counted the hours as lovers always do under such circumstances, but did not de- spair. The guard set at the gates would never have allowed the young Count to pass through them or to climb the walls, but when a waggon laden with provisions entered no one thought of watching the waggoner's boy in his frock and slouch hat, and so a little bribe bought the costume of the fellow, and the young Count smacked his whip gayly as he drove over the hill and got away without being discovered, though the guard would examine the waggon before he let it pass. The Count sat under a tree reading a book for a long time afterwards—that is, the waggoner in the Count's clothes—and when the truth was discovered the con- sternation was so great that the confedeeates escaped scot free. By that time the young Count was mar- riedlie had met his wife at a little church, to which she came with her father and other friends, and they were made one and went off together. There was some talk of the Count himself becoming an actor, but, whatever happened, the old nobleman, his father, could do nothing. Finally the family held counsel that they would forgive their son if his wife would leave the stage. Now, the beautiful Adelaide was a born actress, but at the moment love dominated her soul. Her husband was all in all to her. She yielded to his persuasions and re- tired from the profession she adorned. She went to live with the great family, who were very kind to her. She tasted all the sweets of idleness and luxury and was adored by her husband. She was for a while perfectly happy. But slowly, surely, a nameless longing crept into her soul. She felt her life dull and uninteresting. The artist within her got the better of her. Her one groat long- ing was to act once more, to tread the stage as of yore, to live the life for which she was born. She dreamed of it at night, she dreamed of it by day, but she never spoke of it Her word had been pledged and she must keep it. Society had teased to charm her. All occupation was wearisome. • She turned her attention to the poor and was bountiful to them. Among other wretched people she gave alms to the poor creatures in the debtors prison. It was in the year 1847. At that day in the place where she abode a creditor who Chose could cast his debtor into a foe' prieon and let him rot there. There was, I believe, Nome law which merle it conipaliory to give the man who owed money which be could not pay bread rand wattle. For all else be had to depend FExAs 13_2-V1usitLiszit CORKS, CrALLS, I3QIUI e.11:101llLOMItS, 80 -MATCHES, ox.- any WOLIN-PS oa IOJf o Cie.'1"r Lexie qiitl Healed. / CNA y ()tire C VARA, adleTeles) 11 yen use 1 Sent by 5L.tlI on receiItt e.Z Pelee 25 Oe qte, liy e, P. SE,G,BWOBTilt TORONTO, CAN. AG -.EN Wante Evo whey TESTIMONIALS, on charity, and there were bare in his cage behind which he could Bit, thrusting out Ms hand for whateverpitiful strangers chose to give. The Countess Adelaide had often spoken to one unfortunate man, a gentleman whose debt was very large, and one day it came to her mind that there was a way in which he might be :delivered from his bonds and re- stored to his helpless wife and children. Ac- cordingly she spoke of it to her husband. Her idea was to give an entertainment to the public, the object being specified in the public prints and in private letters. The tickets sold at high prices; actors of posi- tion would be imported to offer their ser- vices, and she would take the principal part. To this the Count gave his consent. His parents, after some demur, agreed that act- ing for acharity, and to such an audience, was not objectionable, and one night the play was put upon the boards of a magnifi- cent theatre. Once more Adelaide, in all the splendor of a queenly costume, walked the stage. Once more she was happy. And how she aoted ! Applause rent the air. Her wonderful genius impressed all who listened. The old delight in it returned to her husband, and none was more enthusiastic than his rela- tives. I do not know what the play was, or I would give its name to my readers, but those who saw it that night never for- got it. How often did they call the beautifu Countess before the curtain! How often did she smile and courtesy and kiss her hands to them ! She was happy for the first time for long, long months. A good deed had been done. The poor debtor was happy, too, for his debt had been paid, and he had money besides to begin the world with on his day of freedom. His wife knelt to kiss the hand of the benevolent Countess and the poor man himself, bewildered by his unexpected good fortune, could only weep. Happiness was restored to a home that had been very mis- erable. As for Adelaide herself, hope arose in her heart. The sensation her acting had caused was so tremendous that the whole feeling of her husband's family changed. Italians are all artists enough to feel pride in genius like hers, and when she un- burdened her heart to them and told of her longing to return to the stage they gave their consent, and eo that greatest of all modern actresses, Adelaide Ristori, began the triumphant career that has made her name known in every country in the world as the greatest of all modern tragic act- resses. Surely no one can say that truth may not be as romantic as fiction.—Mary Kyle Dallas in Fireside Companion. EXPOSE YOLD NECK r Sir Moral Mackenzie Gives Some Good Pointers. Sir Morell Mackenzie, who was a special- ist in throat trouble% always insisted that a great many of the ailments that were brought under his notice could have been escaped but for the injudicious coddling of the throat. The throat must not be wreeped up too much; the great thing_ is to try to harden it. By care and persist- ence the throat can be made as weather- proof as the face. Many people who are not in the secret are amazed that the patriarchal Gladstone can stand for hours with head uncovered in the open air while a strong breeze is blowing The ability to do this with impunity was gained by sitting habitually at a window through which a draught was created that the head became accustomed to all variations of temperature and all degrees of air motion. In the same way the throat can become habituated to varying conditionIt should be kept free from wrappings. Woxnen should dispense with their great feather boas and medici col- lars and men should cast aside their stifling mufflers. It is an excellent practice to wear turn -down collars and gargling with cold salt water in the morning has sovereign virtue, as well as bathing the throat first with very cold water. The throat ge.s the effect of a sudden shock and is braced up and permanently strengthened. Gratifying To All. The high position attained and the uni- versal acceptance and approval of the pleasant liquid fruit remedy Syrup of Figs, as the most e,Z00,1pnt laXatiV keoWn, illustrate the value of the qualities 021 which its success is based and are abun- dantly gratifying to the California Fig Syrup Company. How to Keep Water Cold. Here is a wrinkle—how to get ice-cold water in places where there is no ice. Wrap a jug—.e porous jug—one of those common earthenware things—in flannel—wet flannel —wrap it all around, leaving no place ex- posed to the air; place it, filled with water —or with 'claret cup, which some sinners prefer to water—in an open window exposed to all the air there is. Keep the flannel web; in an hour the contents of that jug will be almost as cool as if they had been iced. This is a tropical trick, which tricks the tropics. . FITS.—All Fits stopped free by Dr. Great Nerve Restorer. No Fits after first day's use. Marvellous cures. Treatise and $2.0D trial bottle free to Fit eases. Send bo Dr. Kline, 931 Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa. A piece of chamois skin bound on the edges'ahaped to fit the heel and kept in placeby a piece of elastic rubber, worn over the stockings, will save much mend ing. Isaac Flewellyn'a farmer living near Harrisburg, was killed by lightning on Monday evening. A Rad Featheretone—I have just made the rule take of my life. Ringway—How so 1 Featherstone—I was foolish enough to call on my doctor in a silk hat and he charged me double rates The Government railway works at Bre, lau, Prussia, have been burned, causing a loss of two million marks. ISSUE NO 30. 1892. NOTE. In replying to any of these Advertisments kindly mention this papa C E T k.3 (silver) pays for Otir largo PEOPLES, JOURNAL one year, Best stories and o titer reading for old and young. Regular price 50c. per year, but to introduce, we will send one year on trial for only one dime and alsa insert your name one year in the 'AGENTS' DIRECTORY" which we send all over the United States to firms who wish to mail papers, magazines. pictures, cards, etc., as samples, FREE, with terms. Our patrons receive bushels of mail. Send AT ONCE and you will be WELL PLEASED. T. D, CAMP BELL, X 97, Boyleston, Ind., U. 8. A. ALBERT . COLLEGE, Belleville, Ont. Leads the colleges—enrollment 220. Largesb number of rnarticulants of any college in Canada. WILL RE -OPEN TUESDAY, S'EPT; EMBER Gth, '92. For caleudar address PRINCIPAL DYER, M. £, B. So. Bralltfovd Ladies College And Conseruatory of Music. Reopens September 7th, 1892. The most largely attended Presbyterian Ladies' College in Ontario, with students from Manitoba, British Columbia, Quebec and the United States. Tho faculty consists of twenty members, chiefly specialists, affording students superior advantages in Literature, Science, Modern Languages, Elocution, Pianoforte, Voice Culture, Art, Stenography and Typewrit- ing, etc. For new calendar address Rev. Wm. Cochrane, D. D., Governor, ALMALeading YOUNG College WOMEN. 'l.60 -page Illustrated Catalogue free. Graduating Courses in Literature, Music, Fine Arts, Commercial Science, Elocution. Finest buildings and furnishings and lowest rates. Reopens Sept. 10th. PRINCIPAL AUSTIN, A. M., St. Thomas, Ont. THRILLING detective Stories, 16Cona piece love stories and 100Popular Songs LJ lac. BARNARD BROS, 36 NePara street, Toronto, Oni; 500 Teachers tocanvass TV r.ai Pr one or more ef onr firstsclass subscription books. Send for Mils tra.ted catalogue and terms. W1LLAM BRIGGS, Publisher, TORONTO. DOMINION SILVER COMPANY VETE HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT certain perdu., without proper authority. are using our name and reputation to secure orders for goods of an inferior quality. The Public aro notified that all our goods are stamped with our neinne so that the imposition can be dete,eted at once. We want several more pushing men to act as agents. DOMINION SILVER COMPANY, Toronto, Ont. 10Cent Sample A Lovely Maud. painted (Cushion Top. Hand painting —Address— done to order. Send "THE LADIES AltT your own material or SUPPLY CO.," law:d gujipgl4 mAtnrialp- Torowlo, Ont e ICountry trade e_sped. ally solicited. II`e.neY woe supplies of all kinda CHEAPFARMS IN VIRGINIA MILD CLImATE, GOOD MARKETS And good /and from 435 to 020 PER ACRE with improvements. Send for our circular. PYLE & DEHAVEN, Petersburg, Va. 171LORIDA'S ADVANTAGES FOR SMALL .11.' investments. See Florida Real Estate Journal. Arcadia, Fla. Sample and map 10e. silver. IIICRIGH LANDS FOR SALL 12,000 Of good Farming Lands,title voile As on Michigan Central, Detroit & AL cres pena and Loon Lake Railroads, at prices ranging from *2 to $5 per acre. Theaa lands are close to enterprising new townn, churches, schools, etc., and will be sold on mos favoralfie berms. Apply to R. M. PIERCE, West Bay City O J. W. CURTIrto S,'Whittemore, Mieb Pleaso mention this paper when writing • SOOTHING, CLEANSING, HEALING. Instant Relief, Permanent Cure, Failure Impossible, Many so-called frit,oriqrs are simply symptom:. I rrh, such as headache, losing fitillSO of smell, foul breath, hawking and spitting, general feeling of debility, etc. If you are troubled with any Of thoSe or Xindred eymptoms, yen have Catarrh, and shoal a loso 00 timo procuring_a bottle of NASAL. BALM. Bo warned in time, negle-, litiegl in bead reSults in Catarrh, followed by consumption and death. Sold by all drugeists, or sent, post paid, on r(. apt of price (GO cents and $1) by addressing MILFORD & CO. Brockville. Ont. To iorra ilinipp, Loon on& I48 00144(4)1(1 UU. 110 01 oans money anywhere in the Uni tad States„ an add orteed money, apply to Local Agents or wtite toMie4:tvcnoy, ti.v.itt/hAoluitpsre:purreitsym. :n4f you BUTTE CITY, fAONTilf401- Agents Wanted Everywhestit PENNYROYAL WAFERS. A onecine monthly modielne for !CUM', to restore uud regulate the Insuse.4 • -prodUeing free, healthy And pidatemk (Mud:large Ni news or pains ora ove preach. Now used by over 30,01101adle: Once used, will use again. Invigorateo these organs. Buy of your druggire Only those 'with our signature acalttaQ face of labeL Avoid aubstItutes. Beattedt particulars mailed Se Stam5,. Eflcom box. Addreas, &BURKA CR COMPANY, Mirsonrattlrlls. JSTIATEDMACH .W .PETR I E. "r6 eAN _ . _ 1491k121"0 0 1.',Y6 Viioults60 ega 'poea, tts,C n somEt , 111U 3S11 "11 804 3 wlo s,csid