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The Exeter Advocate, 1892-6-30, Page 7Ole Aunt Murtha. IlOende Bee 'or 604/Y reeklre M the faded el' settee, With a pan o' rosy apples on 'er lap; Itie the slot -Kier peelee, trailin' like a ribbon crest 'er knee, Kinks and reales like the triennia's on 'er • eaP, ; While apo gray hair idly flutters, like the . breezes from the south, As they stray aloug the crimson poppies' hod, An' the ISMOlee a•Carlin.upward from the pipe that's in her mouth, . Forms blue an' hazy wreath above 'or head. There the honey bees 're buzeln"bout othe pectin' on the Poor, An' the snashine, letticin' through in yellow spote, Makes kind o' shiftha carpet round, the open kitchen door. As it weaves about in tangled loops an' knots, While 'er brass -rimmed specs 're glibtadn' in the sunbeams as they fall— Like a show'r o' golden blessin's on the place— An' the wooden clock a-tlekin' h. its placeupon the wall Bees a crystal tear a-tricklin' clown 'er faeo. 'Then she lifts 'er gingham apron to 'er wrinkled homely.cheek, An' the swinunin', tell-tale tears she quickly dri es— But if any one ud, ketch nr she ud simply smile, an' speak Somethin"bout the smoke a-git tin' in' er eyes, 'Cause Aunt alarthe,'s independent, an as prowl as Lucifer, An' she don't believe in makin' no complaint; LSo if anybody say she's sad, an' tries to pity 'er— W'y, she mighty speedy tells 'ern that she ain't. vOn Aunt Martha's got a secret, somethin' 'bout an early love, When 'er °hooks was red, as apples on the tree; When 'er eyes wo.s blue an' tender as the autumn skies a,bovo, An"er heart was like the breezes—light an' free, 4So I sometimes ketch en weopin' when she thinks no ono is 'round 'Till the shawl upon 'er bosom heavean' swells, An' the bitter tears She's sheddia' gently splat- ters on the gronnd, But the secret ol' Aunt Martha never tells .1 'THE OLD MAN'S ROMANCE. A Lone VOW Which Wee Kept Faithfully to the End, HE Was quite an old man when I knew him—older in looks, per- haps, than in years. I was a struggling student, trying to get through a law college in C--, when I met him. He wore a shabby, threadbare coat and a dusty old hat of soft felt. I had of tep noticed him coming in and •out of the musty little third-rate boarding- house which necessity then compelled me to -call home. With his kindly, wrinkled face, hair partly white, and general air of good breeding, he was quite noticeable in contrast with the ordinary inhabitants of Elm street. :Shabby as he was, he somehow seemed out of place. One evening we jostled against each other •in the narrow, dark hallway, and I reoeived . a rather severe knock from the banisters. He was full of concern, and insieted upon having me come into his room. I did not need very much persuasion, and ,gladly entered. What a queen little room it was, and so characteristic of the man. There was a little iron bed in one corner of the room, kept scrupulously neat and smooth (he afterwards told me that he took care of the room himself). and remarkably clean for a lorlging-houee ; two chairs, a table with a faded green cover, an old couch, a chest of drawers, and back in a little corner curtained off with chintz was a email wash -stand. These comprised the furniture in the roam. On the walls were a few bright unframed prints and several pieces of fragile porcelain. On one side of the room three er four shelves were filled with well worn books, and over the mantel was hung a small curtain of pale blue silk somewhat soiled and faded. Over the couch was thrown a piece of tapestry, evidently a relic of days long gone by. This,together with several pipes and a tobacco jar, was all the room contained. Soon after I was seated my new friend handed me a pipe and drew the remaining chair up to the grate, which held, by the way, a very poor apology for a fire. We hat for as much as half an hour or more 'without saying a word. The old man finally drew his pipe from his mouth, knocked the ashes out on the fender and aid: "Young man, you are a wonder; a wonderful boy. Yon know when to keep your mouth shut." Then looking at me c losely : "What's your name? Graham? .Just so. • Mine's Dick Siller, but you are • not to call me Dick—call me Siller." And he looked at me with a frown, but his eyes twinkled. "Weil, Graham, I hone you enjoyed your smoke. I am going to send you up stairs now. It is time old men like me were in bed." So it was every evening. He would call me in for a smokmand,when it was finished, send me out, but he gave me much whole- some advice and often helped me in various little ways. There were two questions I often wanted to ask him : What did the blue sfik curtain cover? And what person in the house played so exquisitely on the violin ? He answered them in his own time, without any goes - tion from me. One evening we were sitting before the fire, smoking as usual, and my eyes un- consciously wandered to the dainty cur- tain. Biller noticed it, and smiling at me said: "You want, to know what is behind there, do you not? Perhaps some day I will show you, but not now, not now." He smoked a few minutes watching the blue smoke as it curled and twisted. Then he knocked the ashes out slowly. "Io ; I won't show you that now, but I will entertain you another way," He walked over to the chest of drawers and • took from it a violin, and bow. • "Did you wonder who played ?" I nodded in silence. He rubbed his hand over the strings with a little caressing gesture' tightened a string and then began. Suchmusic ! I never heard the like before or since. I cried like a schoolgirl. I laughed or wept, just as he willed. 1 sobbed aloud. He finished the strain and began another. The more notes rose and fell. Xt was an exquisitely tender strain and served to tell of many heartaches • of infinite sadness and of a never -dying love. The musk rose into a grand triumphant gong, chtinged to a sweet andante and :Softly, softly ceased. Then he put the violin back reverently and relighted hie pipe. I could not thank him, but I looked with eyes hill and he underatood. "1 am superstitious about my violin," he said. " II, belonged to a little Italian boy years ago. He died with it in his lame and sometimes I imagine the boy's epirit lingers there and talks tome. " Not long after that he seemed very resat - leas. He Decoct back cited forth tletOSS the room and finally aid: "Graham, I don't think I Shall livo very long—in fact I have known it for come dine—and if I am taken seriously ill—am dying -4 want you to promise to do me a anon" Ile walked stiddenly up to the mantel and pulled the little blue curtain to one side. There was a tender little smile on his face as he bade me look. 1 raised my eyes and saw a picture, evidently done m water colors, of a young girl -.-a beautiful girl, with wavy browu hair, brewn eyes and a glorious face. Jt was framed. in a. doll, white frame, and I thought it the loveliest thing had ever geen. He enraged at ray rapt Leone. " She was jut as beemtiful aa that, end just as good, We leved mune other very dearly, and looked forward to the happy time when we might, perhaps, be minded ; but I eves poor, and her father forbade it, and emit her from me. I have aeon her only once since then. She brought me the picture, and told me she should never marry. That was years ago. My Con- stance is 63 now, • Yes, she is alive and lives in the city. She promised to come to nee, wherever 1 nm, when I am dying, and I want you to call her for me when the time comes." Poor old man! The time came sooner than either of us thought. He sone for me one evening. I found him in bed. The doctor was with him, and as I entered the room looked up and said: "Ho wants to see seine one, and the sooner you can get her here the better." Siller motioned me to G small box that stood on the table. I brought it and opened it for him. He picked out a card, handed it to me and whispered: "Hurry !" I spent the only dollar I had for a cab and soon found myself outside a palatial resi- dence in Park Lane. I inquired for lilies Wetherby, and aeon a dear little lady in black, with snow-white hair, entered the room. When I told my errand her face blenched and she left the room. She was back in a moment, bonneted and cloaked, and as soon as possible we were back at Silber's bedside. I heard a cry of Connie !" "Dick 1" and then I stole away, waiting to be called. Soon after that the doctor oalled me, saying all was over. I entered to find a woman weeping and calling "Dick !" understood why he would not let me use that name, made dear by a woman's love. I have been successful since then and live in Park lane, too ; but the most prized of all my possessions is a violin—a violin which I allow no one but myself to touch and which I handle with reverent, loving care. The Sleiglahell Ball. An iron founder has been talking about the manufacture of sleighbells and has ex- plained a circumstance which has, no doubt, puzzled a great many people, old as well as young. The little iron ball," he says, " is too big to be put in through the holes in the bell, and yet it is inside. How did it get there? The little iron ball is called the jinglet.' When you shake the sleigh - bell it jingles. In making the bell the jinglet is put iuside a little ball of mud, just the shape of the outside of the bell. This mud ball, with the jinglet inside, is placed in the mould of the outside, and the metal is pored in, which fills up the ewe between the bell and the mould. When the mould is taken off you see a sleighbell, but it will not ring, as it is full of dirt. The hot metal that the bell is made of dries the dirt so that it can be shaken out. After the dirt is all shaken out of the holes in the bell the little iron jinglet will still be in the bell and will ring. It took a good many years to think out how to make a sleigh. bell." The Horses Foot. The foot of a horse is one of the most ingenious and unexampled pieces of mechan- ism in the whole range of animal structure. The outside hoof is made up of a series of thin vertical laminae of horn, about 500 ha number. Into this are fitted 500 more thin laminae, which belong to the coffin bone, both sets being elastic and adherent. The edges of a quire of paper inserted leaf by leaf into another quire will furnish a good idea of the arrangement of the laminae as mentioned above. Thus the weight of the animal Is supported by as many elastic springs as there are lamince in all the feet, amounting to about 4,000. These are dis- tributed m the most secure manner and its a way that every spring is acted tition in an oblique direction. Verily there is a display of nacure's wonders everywhere.—Galveston News 'Mingo Useful to Know. To whiten the nails, cut a lemon in two and rub in well at night. Wash off in warm water the next morning. It is claimed that a preparation made of two-thirds lemon juice to one-third Jamaica rum will remove freckles. Clean hairbrushes with warm water and a little ammonia. It is best to clean two brushes at the same time, as they ean be rubbed together. Let them dry in the hot sun. It is frequently stated that granite iron. ware cannot be mended after it leaks, and so must be thrown away. Bur, in face, it is quite possible to mend it in the same way as tin, by soldering. --Good Howse. keeplag. Uor Conscientious Scruples. Guest (at church fair)—And what is the bill, if you please, Miss? Sweat young thing—You have had two spoonfuls of lolly- pop and a smile • that will be $1. Thanks. Yes ; I notice it: is a $2 bill, but you can't expect us to make change in a church. It is forbidden to make the temple of the Most High a house of merchandise, you know. Little Johnny on Sermons. I'd like sermons better if they only said something. Most all preachers I ever heard spent so much time tellin' what the text didn't mean that when it come to explainin' what it did mean they had to stop, 'cause everybody's dinner was ready. If school teachers did that we'd never gee through the 'rithmetio. Avoid Unnecessary Temptation. Missionwry Letter: •" Of course I have all the cannibals converted, but do not send me a fat assistant. There is no need of putting temptation in their way." Bank President—You can assure me can you that you understand flgures, and are quick at them? Applicant—Oh, yes, in- deed ; I have led the gemenn hundreds of times. An unfortunate Circumstance is reported from the village of Woolen A young man named Cross, working for Albert Wessels, was driving a team attachedto a waggon loaded with gravel, and while going down hill the tongue broke. The horses ran away and Croee was thrown out, the wheels page- ing over his breast. • He lived only half an hoar, and only spoke once. —Trim up your premises. Take a leaf out of the book of your tasty neighbor. Neatness and tidiness repays for troable. Cut down that long gram and exterminate theme rank weeds. If you don't do it nobody else will. They are growing on your property and your neighbor would be trespassing if he did it for you. lheides he is not likely to do the job, unless he is nnpeounious and you are good-hearted enough to pay hini. The repent is published in San Francisco that three vessehi have been reized at Kodiak, Alaska,for violation of the modus i vivendi, but e is disareditecl at the Navy and Ttetteury Departenetits in Wash- Ingtem. LADY SOMERSET'S VIEWS, lutemperance Not the Sole Cause of Poverty. COMPLIMENT TO AMERICAN WOMEN. Uneaqual Justice in the Courts Of Great Britain, The following are extracts from an address by Lady Henry Somerset: It is characterietie of this age that evil is no longer considered a necessity. That I believe to be the greatest credo that the nineteenth century has formulated. • We have all along said that it is necessary that sin should be; then it is necessary that euffering should exist ; but to-dey we see that there is no such necessity according to God's laws, and by God's help we are to see that that necessity shell have no record. It is upon these lines that we are working. We are breaking down the barriers that have long hedged up creeds and national- ities. We are going into wider fields and realizing that which we have m long been looking for that men and women every- where, calethemselves by what name they will, let them inhabit whatever country under the sun, are bound together in that grand name, humanity. As I walked through the Bowery of New York, and saw the miseries there in that modern city, I felt that the new world had some of our greatest difficulties to meet and some of our weightiest problems to face ; when you see the cal -marching growth of that splendid country, the power and riches of those weetern cities that arise almost as by magic from the prairies, then we realize that the greatest come in Americas is this same miserable liquor traffic, and that their mightiest problems are the same with which we have to do battle over here. We draw a long breath when we get to America, because we feel that we are at any rate in it country where there is room for everybody. THE INFLGE OF Aunts. We dare not stand on any platform in England and say that the drink traffic is the sole source of poverty ; indeed, we weaken our cause if we do. There is no statement that does so much harm to our holy work as this. There are correlating causes that we need to take into oonsideretion. There is the great labor question, there is the housing of the poor, and there are a thou- sand other things that belong to the work of the true reformer. In America you realize that the liquor traffic has done a harm which is probably almost incalculable, becauee there is room and workforallstrong and industrione men and women, and yet there are men and women strug- gling even in great and prosperous city idle Chicago. They have difficulties to con- tend with of which we know nothing. The great alien population with which America is flooded renders it one of the most difficult countries for philanthropic work. You talk glibly of America, but America means the problems of four or five nationalities rolled into one. We send our hopeless ones over there and expect the Americans to reform these men and women. We are giving them a desperate task. There is probably noth- ing more unyielding to deal with than the flood of an idle, incoming population. AMERICAN WOMEN DO NOT DRINK. But there is one feature in America, that I tell you, friends, if I could see in Eogland to -day, I would willingly sacrifice my right band; nay, more, I would give almost everything I possess in life. Go where you will in the lowest quartera of New York or in Chicago; go where you will through any city in that great country and you will never witness scenes in any saloon that at all equal what you see in this country. You may go right through the saloons of America and no woman would dare open that door save one who had cast away every rag of respectability. It would be impossible, in an afternoon's walk, for a young man and woman to turn in together to take a drink. There is a popular send - meat in America on the question of women drinking and I would that only one-third of such sentiment as that existed here. During the six months that I spent there only at one table d'hote did lever see a woman touch wine or beer. I have never seen a woman in any private house put one single drop of wine into her glass and drink it. It would be well for us if the work we had done could claim such results as that. WOMEN'S RIG= TO VOTE. We bear a great deal about the immense advantage we are going to have when we get the popular vote. I thank God I be- lieve that vote will bring an unadulterated blessing on this nation. I look on it as the firet streak of dawn upon the horizon. There are people who tell us that the mil- lennium will begin when we get the vote. All we shall then have is justice for the working classes and righteousness for humanity. The struggle iu America is just here ; we think they have temperance legislation • unless the women can uphold that legislation it is too often null and • void. We fight because there is injuseice. I hear women who are surrounded by every luxury say, T do not want to vote.' No, but the toil- ing sister in that factory wants to vote. I heo.r women say, What advantage is it going to bring?'one to those in the home circle who have men who love and protect them; but when we read today that a man in Durham who killed his wife by striking her on the head with a poker, received only nine months' imprisonment, but thab a young girl, in the frenzy of shame that lay before her, under the great Gethsemane of suffering she was called upon to bear alone, although another had equally participated in her sin —who in the misery of that awful moment smothered her new-born babe, received the penalty, of death commuted only. to penal servitude for life, say that womienn voice is wanted in this case--(cheers)—and that the woman vote today means for us home protection. / do not think that any one will ever accuse me of wanting to Avocets that women should be unsexed, because I believe that the truese strength of woman is in he.' womanliness ; but I do believe that no man dares to draw a line whero the woman's protection of her child shall end. TED Young Men' Emigration Advice Society " is the name of en organization which operates in connection with the Young Men's Chrititian Association, of Menchester'England, There would seem to be much of good to aceorriplithed by an intelligently conducted and disinterested bureau Of that kind. The average English enligrant needs eknce as much at he needs any other part of hie equipment, and it this organized= acquaints itself with the foreign end of its work it may. be OW means not only of rendering ereluarne aid to those who denigrate, but oleo of nrenenting the esti- gratiOn of tnese Mhos° inaclaptaeion or lack of capaoity diequallfies them for success in the neve Wald. ROBINSON'S WOOING. A Bashful, Man's Proposal, With Laugh- able Detail& Mrt, ROBINSON, of Brooklyn, had fora longtime been iu love With Miss Illlizabeth, but he was SU& & timid young man that he had hesitated eboiat confessing his love for her. Once he had proposed to hese, and on that occasion she had— to use his own words—" made a fool of him," so that he hesitated about repeating the experiment. But finally he mustered up'his courage, and then the question as to how he should propose became leading and Perttinfit Ahe thought it would be advisable to take ber out for a drive. He had heard from intitriate friends that a girl in the 00111'00 of an afternoon drive cannot help but tell the man that oho loves him—that is, if she does love him—so he came to the eonclusion that the drive was the best way out of the difficulty. • But an examination of his pocketbook revealed the fact that after all there might be better ways. He then suggested to himself that perhaps it would be well to take her to some one of the dances to which they both had invita- tions. He explained this scheme to his friend, Rapleigh, and Rapleigh immediately •discouraged it. Rapleigh, recalled to his mind the fact that dances are generally well attended and that proposing in a crowd calls for a great deal more tact and circumspection than the amount in the possession of Rob- inson. Then Robinson came to the oonclus Rion that proposing by telephone was the correct thing in these days of improve- ments and novelties. " It would be so dramatic," exclaimed Robinson. But Rapleigh also discouraged this idea. " I once heard of a man," he :said, "who proposed to a girl over the telephone. She was a telephone girl. He said ' Hello ' to her in proposing to her. After they were married he turned the word around when- ever he thought of her. So that I wouldn't advise you to propose to Miss Elizabeth over the telephone. Not that I think that she would lead you to that kind of a life, but I am superstitious." Robinson said something abeut the con- demnation of Rapleigh's superstition. "Why don't you go to her and propose to her like a man ? " said Rapleigh. Robinson called attention to the tact that he was very bashful and nervous. "But it will be all over in a moment." "Bub suppose it turns out the wrong way ?" " Oh, nonsense. It's the adventurous hawk that catches the—and besides, she can't say anything worse than 'no.'" " Rapleigh," exclaimed. Robinson, "you don't know Miss Elizabeth; in fact, you don't know women at all if you think 'no ' is the only thing—the worst thing that they can say. I would rather, for the time being, have an ordinary judge say, 'And may heaven have mercy on your soul,' than to have an ordinary girl of the nineteenth century say that she appreciates the compliment, but "----- "1 have a scheme," interrupted Rap- leirrh • "take it pen and write as I dictate." " lint "— "Do as I say." So Robinson got a pen and sat down. Rapleigh began: "My dear" — exclaimed Robinson, "that will not do. It is not affectionate enough. It sounds as if I were about to ask her to pees the butter." "How would simple ' dearest ' do?" • "Nott at all. I'll begin with the letter anddeave off the address. Would you make re paragraph mark?" " No, leave it off. She will then know that you mean the address'but cannot find words sufficiently loving to express your meaning.* Then feapleigh dictated: "1• want you to be my wife. I will call Friday night for my answer. If you will not marry me say that you are out. If you will marry me, then come down into the parlor when I call. Rayleigh wanted it some other night than Friday. He said that Friday was an unlucky day. "It's my kicky day," said Robinson, and so they made it Friday. Robinson sealed the letter and stamped it. "Here," he said, "you address it. 1 ani too nervous." So Rapleigh addressed it and put it into his pocket to mail. Friday afternoon Rapleigh told Robinson thae, he had forgotten all about the letter. They put a stamp upon it, and the postman said it would get up town before dinner- time. After dinner Robinson dressed himself very carefully in his state -occasion clothes and went up town for his answer Robin- son deternitued on the way up town that if • she said no it would ruin him and put him into a young and drunkard's grave. Robinson rang the bell and the servant girl took his card. He sat in the drawing. room to wait for an answer. His heart and his ribs began a fistic encounter. His fingers clutched matt other torvously. Finally the maid reappeared. She had his card in her hand. She was smiling. • " She has refused me," exclaimed Robin- son to himself, and he felt something snap in. his head. "Miss Elizabeth will be down in a moment," said the maid. " She has just come in and is at dinner." It was a great, a trying moment. Robinson turned deathly pale, then eank back into the chair. It was the happiest moment in his life. In a minute he heard the rustling of a skirt—her Aire. The portieres were parted, pushed aside, Miss Elizabeth, radiant, with a beautiful blush on her face, stood before him, coyly peeping up at him. Robinson sprang to his feet. He rushed like a young oyclone down upon her. He clasped her in his arm& He kissed her furiously, passionately, once twice, half a hundred tnnes. A shriek rank through the house. Ms Elizabeth, struggling, panting, shrieked time and time agele. "How dare you, sir 1 how dare you 1" she cried, nnanly freeing herself and standing before hien white with rage. Robinson, stupefied, looked at leer in dumb amazement, SAW the white face, the flashily epee; heard approaching foot- steps, made it dash for the hall, caught up hie coat cued hat, slammed the door shut after him, and never etopped running until he reached the club barroom. That night Miss Elizabeth'after recover. ing her COMpOSUrO, Wellh up to her room and found on the bureau a letter addressed to her in a strange handwriting. She opened it. The letter inside was written in a difi- erent hand—a well-known hand. Miss Elizabeth read the letter. Then the tears came into her °yen. She rang for the servaut girl. The see, vant girl beet her place—was discharged without a recothmenclation. Robinson began to drink, tben sieddenly stopped drinking, and now they sass about to be married to Miss Elizabeth.—Ciaaia- liati Past. $AD OC41171i7ESOP. wee. Bow $ IrOXIMEXadY Nutertaftted skilfneclinit Here is a story, sayp a writer in the Min- neapolis journs2, 1 picked up an One of my lecturing touro. A charming rang woman, just eoteringwhat is called soerntin met a distinguished lawyer at a reception, and was much flattered when he asked leave to call upon her the next evening. She consulted One or two friendsas to the best methon of making bit call agreeable. "TM nearly scared to death," she con- feesed to one of them. "They say hes awfully emart, and I'm certain I won't talk well enough to please him. Now you've known him a long time; do tell me what subjects to discuss, and I'll run home and get ready for him." "Well," eaid the kind-hearted friend, "literature is his fad. You can't go wrong if you turn the conversation into that chan- nel." With thia valuable hint, Miss Budd hast- ened home, and devoted the rest of the day to remling. Promptly at 8 o'clock the young lawyer was ushered into the drawing -room. " Wasn't it a delightful reception we at- tended last evening ?" he asked presently, byway of opening the conversation. " Oh, yes," was the enthusisetic response ; "but wasn't that Bad aboub poor Mary, Queen of Scots? They cut her head off, you know." It is to be regretted that the remainder of this very literary conversation its not reported. 15 Pounds Gained in Three Weeks,. and Cured or Consumption. Messrs. Craddock & Co., 1,032 Race street, Philadelphia, Pa. Gentlemen -- Please send me twelve bottles of Dr. James' Cannabis Indica, one each of Pills and Ointment, for a friend of mine who is not expected to live ; and as your medicine cured me of Consumption sores three years ago, I want him to try them. I gamed fifteen pounds while taking the first three bottles, and I know it is just the thing for him. Respectfully, J. V. Hull, Levine:me- berg, Anderson Co., Ky. Not to be Bluffed. A young saleswoman in a dry goodo store who had just sold a quantity of goods to a lady, asked: "Will you have the goods sent, or take them with you ?" "Do you expect that I am going to carry a bundle like that ?" said the shopper in- dignantly. "Oh, no, madam in answered the sales- woman, mistress of herself. "1 supposed your carriage was at the door, and that you might prefer to take your purchase with you." And she scored one on the victorious side. Confirmed. The favorable impression produced on the first appearance of the agreeable liquid fruit remedy Syrup of Figs a few years ago has been more than confirmed by the pleasant experience of all who have used lb, and the success of the proprietors and manufactux- ers the California Fig Syrup Company. Proof Pooltivei; New York Herald; Aesistant—I have a new freak ---the homeliest woman in the world. Manager of Museum—How do you know she is the homeliest? Assistant—She got into trouble once ancl the sensational reporters wrote her up with- out Saying that she was pretty. If you are troubled with hawking and spitting, dull headaches, losing sense of taste or smell, you are afflisatedwith catarrh, and to prevent it developing into consumption, Nasal Balm should be used promptly. There is no case of catarrh which lb will not cure, and for cold in the head it gives immediate relief. Try it. Al/ dealers. Not Yet Discouraged Trying. Truth: Miss Passe—Don't be afraid ; ril steady the ladder. Rev. Mr. Youngman (unmarried) --And will you catch me if I fall? Miss Passe—I'm sure I'll try; bu.t !think it'll be a pretty smart girl that catches you. Jack—How about Miss Million, Charlie? Have your hopes in that direotion reached a consummation ? Charlie—Not exactly The fact is they have only reached the con- fieMnle. PATERNAL government is a great thing for the governed. The other day United States detectives swooped down on the Philadelphia Record office and destroyed its stock of business envelopes and forbade their further publication, because there was printed on the corner, in black ink, the cub of a one -cent piece, that coinbeing the selling price of the paper. It was a small action, but then, you see, Philadelphians must not be exposed to the danger of having these " cents " cut out and palmed off upon them for legal tender. FREE HOMES We will Sell you a Good Farm on the Grain System. See ite Advantage& 1st You have no money to pay. 2nd You have no interest to pay. 3rd Your own labor pays for your farm. 4.th We stand equal chance with you ort poor seasons of your mise. No crop we get no pay. Is that not fair 5th You cannot lose your farm by txtortgage as you give none. 6th rt is cheaper and better than securing Government land. eth Many of our farms are partially improved • nave. 8th They are near good R. Rat, school's, churches, towns and markets. Oth They will be sold as cheap for grain as money. 10th • It is the renter's, the poor man's, chance of getting a home for his family. Be a free man in a free country. llth It is very healthy. good water, good. climate, good fruit, good society, good Roil, good roads and sure crops. 12th This golden opportunity is offered itt the best, the grandest and the noblest of • states, and that is Ktvaisas. A Grand Home.Seckem'Excursionwill be run About every 10 days through the summer an& fall, when reduced rates to parties wishing to exttmine our lands will be given. Come now so that you may havo your land prepared for fall wheat. COMO now before it is all taken up; this chance will not be open long. For all information, maps, route, rates and date, call on or address us at mice, CENTRAL EXCHANGE CO., C. B. & Q. R. R. Emigration Agents. • Galesburg, Illinois. 312 E. Main St. THE PATENT PINLESS CLOTH Agents PEGSLIMF° %Vented. This is a great suecoss, millions of fame rota in use. The elothee cannot 8raw orr. Orotnuall. TARIM Bites. 73 Adelaide St W., Toronto. ISSUE NO 26. 1892. NOTE. In replying to, away of these AdVertharoaro kindly mention, this Payer TO 'LADIESrtrelvantna, IMRE We pay the highest price for the work and sup- PlY the Materials. Send stamped envelope for narticulare to Ben. Lomand, San Francisco. ikTO MEDICINE TO SELL, BUT 4. VALLI- wtten recipe to every gentleinan who •21liersenai a few stamps or dirotie to hell) pay for this ad. Mention this paper. Box ne Council Bluffs, Iowa. . ufurfaalRI /G Deteotive Stories. 16 CO. I tote love stories and MO Popular Songs. Ple. BARNARD BROS, 36 McCaul • street, Toronto, Ont MON EY—Shrewd, careful, infiestrielle (respectable) young men an.i; I'( can make thousands of dollars in a legitimate manner (quietly), With secrets of SCARCE GOODS. Outfit, with f ea instructions, mated tor 30e. (1%To etatnps.) Address Merritt Young, Peachton, Ottawa Ca., Ohio. WANTED A RELIABLE MAN IN f each county to Tack Up Advertisement Cards. $3 A DAY and EXPENSES to eight Party. Send stamped envelope for particulars to Ben.. Loinand, advertising manager, San Francisca, AGENTS. MaLLIST-CLASS AGENTS WANTED IN IL every town and district in Canada. Big profits to pushing People. Send stamp for Particulars to Dominion Silver Company, Toronto, Ont, SAY, sWattiergeNigiaroin.fikt:tgoniatt some money in an honest, respectable way If so, we can put you in the way of doing ib. We employ hundreds of men constantly. Refer - 0000800 the best people in Canada. Write for particulars before you sleep. MoDERMID & LOGIA/sT, London, IF YOU ARE A LADY, Send us your CORSET measure, 10 cents and a 2 cent stamp, and we will forward you, charges prepaid, an article of dress wornby every lady as we do this merely to introduce the style only one article will be sent to any family; others inust purchase in Dry Goods or Corset Stores at regular retallprices. Address 'PAWN MANUFACTURING CO., No. 2 West 14th nil. New York City. AGENTS WRITE TO US For particulars and terms. If you want to make money, now is your time. If you are handling any line that does not bring you in big money, drop it and engage with us, and mimeos is sure. IVILLIAM BR/GGS, Toronto, Ont. CHEAPFAIiIVIS IN VIRGINIA MILD . MUTE, GOOD MARRETS And good land from 85 to 820 PER ACRE with improvemenis. Send for our circular. PYLE 8t DnITAVEN, Petersburg, Va, MILORIDA!S ADVANTAGES FOR SMALL investments. See Flotida Real Estate .Tournal. Arcadia, Fla. Sample and map 10e., QUM, NOTICE. 1 will sell your House, Farm. or any other Real Estate, or forfeit S125: Send steam for reply. • ALFRED COLES, Real Estate Agent, 476 Myrtle Ave., Brooklyn, N. Y. MICHIGAN 'LANDS FOR SALE. pens and n Lake ads, at 12,000 Ofltgolcohdiroarmin one4gtrLaar Ds,etit.rotleitp,stertAetit ees ranging from $2 to $5 per aore. These Acres on lands are close to enterprising new towns, churchee, schools, etc., and will be sold on meet West Bay CitY, favorable terma. ma.. xtAjpErtplyetesx w Otto J. W. CURTIS, Whitternore, Bach Please mention this paper when writing GIVING 3,000 LOTS AWAY GIVING 3,000 LOTS AWAY Three Thousand Pali Lots THE LAKE PUBLISIIINti COMPANY. mIME IS MONEY AND WE INTEND TO .1 save some. On or about the let July, 1892. the Lake Pablisbing Company will issue the initial number of TEEM Lem; a magazine which will prove to be without a peer in Canada. In order to mve time and the expense of can vassers, we propose making the following un paralltele de flst3 offer: Toh,000 subscribers who send 0\80 we will mail one copy of the magazine for one rear and give them a warranty deed of a lot, 25z129 feet, I.n Huron Park. This is nota hum bugging proposal, but will be fairly and squarely fulfilled. We Lope by offering this indueetnent to at once place our subscription list) on a sub- stantial basis instead of incurring the tedious delay that has hitherto marked attempts to secure for Canadian magazines an adequate ckcalraciPPB. • Huron ark adjoins the town plot of Oli phant, overlooking Lake Huron. This 18 000 of the mosb delightful locations along the shores of this charming lake. Remember. there are noblanks, the magazine alone is worth the money, but this is our method to save time in introducing it to the public. ticiAeflfrosilt-$031.ase publication and a lot with clear Send m your subscriptions at once. Remit by money order, postal note, draft or registered letter. • Sample copies sent on receipt of fifteen cents atter July 1st, 1892. Address THE LAHE PUB- LISHING GO., Toronte, Ont. P. 0. box No. 13. Te filootaga Riniug, Lon eiol inuestinent (w,t,otvoacAtc.,mte &RN UU. NU, UNIS11NINOWt1,1114.) • FAM tiff CAPITAL, $12.000,000 toarts ni On ey anywhere in the Lin ;tad States. Canada or Mexico, without security. If you mica snoney, apply to Local Agents or write 'Mein° IIENPV 1. HA v pr, Peesident, Burre PITY, MONTANA, Agents Wanted Everyvvi(ere PENNYROYAL WAFERS. ee IMUSTRATE0 n7iFFttt: A specific monthly 'Medicine tor Isere to restore and reghlete the reeneak prodnstg fIT'airg siroach.dlaolttrgoNow infect hyikket &WOO laic,. Once need, Will use ftgain3 Intiltoratee theta orgAns. DIV .ot your drinrifitt Only those With oar slwna.tin,li_cercar reetiof label AWaidetibstitntea beitleci 'fartieitlaiiii Mailed aff st0. 8100 0c' Lek,• Addrelia, hillEEKA • COkleaNr. natitora, Amu. Pfs0'1 IMMody trn• (J4M11.11 is th0 Ostf LaStet4 tO it, and CheitpcSt. GoviNnattyl:,' rvirnt 11Zztall'