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The Exeter Advocate, 1892-1-21, Page 7," Maggie Murphy's Hone." (,A. song that was asked fora $ohind a grammar school -hof se, In a double tenement, I live with my old mother And always pay the rent. A bedroom and a parlor Is all we call our own, And you're welcome every evening .At Maggie Murphy's home. • -Chorus— On Sunday night, 'tis my delight And pleasure, don't you see! Meeting all the girls and all the boys That work down town with me, 'There's an organ in the parlor, '1'o give tho house a tone, ...and you're welcome every evening Ataggie Murphy's home. :Such dancing in the parlor, There's a waltz for you and I; Sucir mashing in the corner, And kisses on the sly 1 • Oh, blessed leisure hours That working -people own! And they're welcome every evening At Maggie Murphy's hone. <Ohorus. It's from the open window, At the noon -time of the day, You'll see the neighbors' ohildren So happy at their play. There's Jimmie with his Nellie, Together romp and roam; And they gather in the school -yard Near Maggie Murphy's home. porus. I walk through Hogan's alloy, At the closing of the day, To greet my dear old mother. You'll hear thenoigbbors say: Oh ! there goes little Maggio, I wish she were my own; Oh, may blessings ever linger O'er Maggio Murphy's home! SUPERFLUOUS WORDS. Plumber Farmer autl the Cod Fish Sign. Monetary Times : " Office Boy " writes to us from Hamilton in a holiday mood, saying : " Your amusibg article about the ' Barber's Sign ' in your issue of 18th Dec- ember reminds me of a somewhat similar story, which I•enclose" : A grocer in la—, named M having received a consignment of codfish, pied a quantity in front of his store and placed a black -board on top of the heapwith this inscription : "COD FISH FOR SALE HERE." A well-known plumber named Iv—, who is quite a wag in his way, happened along, and accosted the storekeeper, a friend of his, with 0° What's the use of wasting chalk writing the word " here," as no one Respects you to advertise the stock of a merchant in the next block ?" The accommodating grocer at once rubbed out the superfluous word, and the sign rea " COD FISH FOIL SALE." Even this did not satisfy the critic, who at once remarked, " Whet on earth is the use of the words ' FOB SALE'; do you sup- pose people think you give your goods away ?" Two more words disappeared from the sign, and this is what remained, in pure, unvarnished English :, " COD FISH." The grocer, perhaps, thought this would satisfy his tormentor ; but no, the hard -to - please one let fly his parting shot, " Do you imagine, sir, for one instant, ,that the inhabitants of this Ambitious City do not know a cod -fish from a sardine ? The plumber did not wait to seethe result of this crusher, but history tells us that the sign on the blackboard for the rest of the day was : A GRAND COLLAPSE. The Liberian Emigration Room. Among the Negroes of the South. The laborious attempts to induce the col- ored people of the South to emigrate to Liberia that were begun early this year have come to an end, and have ended in failure. The emigration boomers held . meetings in many State ..of the South, ' especially in Florida, Louisiana and Miesisi sippi. They told the colored people all, about the woes they endured in this coun- try, and all about the attractions of Liberia; ani in midsummer they declared that hun- dreds of thousands of then were aflame with the desire to rush to the' continent of their ancestors. The movement culminated in a farcical way two months ago, when, ?ss the grand result of the agitation, 68 emi- grants, most of whom were preachers with their families, sailed from this port on a trim little barque for the African port of Monrovia. The tale has been told. They got to Liberia ; they found it to be unlike Florida or Alabama ; several of them raised enough money to pay their passage back to this port, and most of the others would like to be able to do the same thing. The Liberian boom in the South has col- lapsed ; the emigration boomers do not hold any more agitation meetings ; the multi- tudes of colored people who were said to be anxious to get away from this country must have changed their minds.—New York Sun. Avoiding Disgrace. Puck • —Upson Downes (7 a. m.)—Great Clesar ! A sneak -thief has been in our room. and taken all our clothes. What'll we do ? Rown de Bout—Not all. He has missed our dress suits. We can put them on. " What? Dress -suits in the morning. ''We'll be eternally disgraced." "Can't be helped. We roust put them •'on and go out to breakfast. Perhaps our ',friends will think we've been out all night." "By Jove ! Good idea ! We'll pretend •to be drunk." Sir Edwin Arnold can say something that but very few, if any, of his contemporary 'newspaper writers can say. lie says that '-in his thirty years of newspaper writing he can not recall a single sentence which he would wish to erase. , 'BRIDAL FANCIES. Married in white, you have chosen all right; Married in gray, you will go far away; 'Married in black, you will wish yourself back ; Married in red, you will wish yourself dead; Married in grreen, ashamed to bo seen; Married in.blue he will always be true; Married in pearl, you will live in a whirl; Married in yellow, ashamed of your fellow; 'Married in brown, you will live out of town; Married in pink, your spirits will sink. Olcl ,thymes. —Alexandria possesses the largest arti;. 1fioial harbor in the world. These are brief sketches of two of the probable successors of Pope Looe Raphael 'Monaco La Valetta, cardinal -bishop, was 'born at Aquila February 23, 1827, and is therefore 6t years old. He was created 'bishop of Ostina and V'elletri in 1889, but cardinal in 1868. He is the doyen of the -Sacred college. Lucido Maria Paroochi was born at Mantua in 1833. He was created cardinal, vicar in 1'877 and bishop of Albano in'l889. —In proportion 'to population, exactly throe times as mueh spirits aro drunk in ,SSootland.as.in.England, A Gimp ROY sTOlplif. 1!i0 a Poor Apprentice Soy Beeasi.e a Partner. Why city boys are preferred to country boys. This is what a lawyer said about the story that I am aboutto relate to you, "It is the best boy story I ever heard,' " We have a good many boys with us from time to time," said Mr. Alden, the senior mem- ber of a large hardware establishment in Market street, Philadelphia, " as appren- tioes tolearn the business. What may sur- prise you is, that we never take the country boys unless they live in the city with some relative, who take care of them and keep them home at night, for when a country boy comes to the city to live, everything is new to him, and he is attracted by every show window and unusual sight. A city boy, accustomed to these, cares little for them, and if he has a good mother he is at home and in bed in due season. And we aro very particular about our. boys, and before accepting one as an apprentice, we must know that he comes of an honest and industrious parent. The best boy we over had is now with us, and a member of the firm. He is the one man in the establish- ment that we could not do without. He was thirteen years old when he 'was ap- preniced to us and he was with us for eleven years, acting for several years as salesman. When he first came, we told him that for a long time"his wages would be very small, but that if he proved to be a good boy his salary would be increased at a certain rate every year, but as it turned out, when, according to agreement, we should have been paying him $500 a year, we paid him $900, and he never said a word about an increase of salary. From the very out- set he showed that he had an interest in the business. He was prompt in the morning, and if kept a little over time at night it never seemed to make any differ- ence to him. If information was wanted it was to this boy, Frank Jones, that every- one applied. The entire establishment seemed to be mapped out in his head, and everything in it catalogued and numbered. His memory of facts was equally remarka- ble ; he knew the name of every man who came to buy goods, what he bought and where he came from. I used to say to him, ` Jones, your memory is worth more than a gold mine ; how do you manage to remem- ber?' ' I make it a business to'remember,' he would say. ' I know that if I can re- member a man, and call him by name when he comes into the store, and ask him how things are going on where he lives, I will be very likely to keep him as a customer.' And this is the exact case. He made friends of buyers. He took the same interest in their purchases as he took in the store, and would go to no end of trouble to suit them and fulfill to the letter everything he promised. Well, affairs went on in this way till he had been with us eleven years, when we concluded to make him a partner. We knew that he had no extravagant habits, that he neither used tobacco, nor beer, nor went to the theatre. He continued to board at home, and even when his salary was at its lowest he paid his mother $2 a week for his board. He was always neatly dressed, and we thought it very probable that she had laid up $2,000, as his; salary for the last two years years had been $1,200. So when we made him the offer to become a partner in business, and suggested that it would be more satisfactory if he could put m moneyin the firm,he relied some ` If $10,000 will be any object I can put in that much. I,have saved out of my salary $9,400, and my sister will let me have $600.' I can tell you I was never more surprised in my life than when that fellow said that he could put in $10,000, and most of it his own money. He never spent a dollar, nor 25 cents, nor 5 cents, for any unnecessary thing, and kept his money in the bank, where it gathered a small interest. I am a great believer in the Bible, you know, and always keep two placards in big letters up in the store. One is this text : ` He that is faithful in that which is small, is faithful in that which is much.' On the other : " He that is diligent in business shall stand before kings, and not before mean men.' And Frank Jones' success was the literal fulfillment of these two texts. He had been faithful in the smaller things as in the greater ones, and diligent in busi- ness. That kind of a boy always succeeds." continued Mr. Alden. A small boy of .,en, who had listened to the story with eager eyes as well as ears, said, " But we don't have any kings in this country for diligent boys to stand before." " Yes we do," laughed Mr. Alden, " we have more kings here than in any other country in the world. We have money kings, merchant kings, and railroad kings, . and land kings, and business kings, and publishing kings, and some of them wield enormous power. This is a great country , for kings."—Wide- Awake. How to `Vin. a Husband. Here is some suulight for the girl that wants to be married, if there is such a girl in these days, when political economy has overshadowed household economy and conic sections are more than kisses : "If I were a girl on the lookout for a husband I should play the game by adroitly flattering my contemplated victim, listening with rapt attention when he spoke, and generally seeking to create the impression that I thought him in wisdom and charm not in- ferior to the angels. At the same thime I should endeavor to bring home to him the fact that in me he would find a person with a heavenly temper, brimming over with domestic affection. I should take care to be becomingly dressed, but my get-up would look as if it cost nothing. In my movements I should cultivate grace. My likeef and dis- likes would be chose of my victim. In the present day a man rarely deliberately con- emplates marriago. The fly has to be very adroitly thrown to catch him. Men are just as vain as women, and it is by keeping this fact well in mind that a girl gets a hus- band."—Ladies' Home Journal. The idea Chicago Press : Mr. Wayback—I want to buy a brush. Drug Store Clerk Tooth -brush ? Mr. W.—Naw. What would I want a tooth -brush for ? They ain't no hair on my teeth. :Proof Positive. Comic : Melinda—Pa, that young man, Mr. Charley, is awful fond of kissing. Papa—How did you find that out, you naughty girl e Melinda—I had it from his own lips, pa. A Needed Effort. New York Herald : Charles—I'm trying as hard as I can, darling, to get ahead. Clara—Well, the Lord knows, Charles, you need one badly enough. William W. Wilhelm, the travelling baggage -master of the Pennsylvania Rail- road, has travelled nearly 3,000,000 miles, without accident, during his long service on the road. Mra. Rump who has been President of the Alleghany County Farmers' Club Weft its organization, has managed its • affairs with marked ability. She now retires to give her entire attention to the publishing business, she being the editor of the Every Week and Belfast Champion. T.� li#LUNG. A lilAN. ri A Soldier Relates His Experieneg and now Ire Felt About It. They do not call it murder when mon meet to slaughter each other in battle. They simply report so many dead, wounded and missing. When you fire into the smoke concealing the other battle line you fire in the hopes to kill or wound. It is your duty, Battles cannot be won without killing. You load and fire—load and fire; move to the right or loft ; advance or re- treat, and when the battle is over you may have fired fifty rounds and yet you havesnot had a near sight of the enemy ; you have simply fired at him, and you cannot vouch that a single one of your bullets has found a living target. Here is a brigade of us in battle line across an old meadow ; our right and left join other brigades. We have thrown down the rail fence, gathered logs and brush and sod, and erected a breastwork. It is only a slight one, but enough to shelter us while lying down. A division of the energy breaks cover half a mile away and comes marching down upon us. The field pieces behind us open on their solid columns, but they are not checked. Under the smoke we cannot see the work of the shells, but they cannot halt that mass of men. The grape and cannister does awful execution, but there should be a dozen guns instead of the They are going to charge us. The guns can not prevent that. Orders run along the line, and we are waiting until every bullet, no matter if fired by a soldier with his eyes shut, must hit a foe. I select my man while he is yet beyond range. I have eyes for no other. He is a tall, soldierly fellow wearing the stripes of a sergeant. As he comes nearer I imagine that he is looking as fixedly at me as I am at him. I admire his coolness. -He looks neither to the right nor to the left. The man on his right is hit and goes down, but he does not falter. I am going to kill that man. I have a rest for niy gun on the breastwork and when the order comes to fire I can not miss him. He is living his last minute on earth. We are calmly waiting until our volley shall prove a veritale flame of death. Now they close up the gaps and we can hear the shouts of their officers as they make ready to charge. My man is still opposite me. He still seems to be looking at me and no one else. I know the word is coming in a few seconds more and I aim at his chest. I could almost be sure of hitting him with a stone when we get the word to fire. There is a billow of flame—a billow of smoke—a fierce crash and 4,000 bullets are fired into the compact mass of advancing men. Not one volley alone, though that worked horri- ble destruction, but another and another until there was no longer a living man to fire at. The smoke drifts slowly away—men cheer and yell—we can see the meadow be- yond heaped with dead and dying men. We advance our line. As we go forward I look for my victim. He is lying on his back, eyes half shut and fingers clutching at the grass. He gasps, draws up his legs and straightens them out again and is dead as I pass on. I have killed my man ! My bullet alone struck him, tearing that ghastly wound in his breast, and I am entitled to all the honor. leo I swing my cap and cheer ? Do I point him out and expeot to be con- gratulated ? No 1 I have no cheers. I feel no elation. I feel that I murdered him, war or no war, and that his agonized ' face will haunt me through all the years of my life. A Man With a Heart. " Yes," said the station agent to the preacher, who was waiting to take the train for Atlanta, " talking about kind-hearted men, there's none of 'em kin beat Lawyer Jenkins." " Good man, is he ?" " You're right, he is. I kin tell you a little story which'll show you what a heart he's got in him." " I'd like to hear it," said the preacher, looking at his watch. " Well," said the station agent, whittling a corncob, " you see it wus this way ; Bill Jones wuz a mighty poor man, an' the rail- road took an' cut off his leg." " Well ?" " Well, he got Lawyer Jenkins to sue the road an' the road compromised with him fur $$200." "Well?" " Well, sir, what do you think Lawyer Jenkins did ?" " Have no idea.' • " Well, his charges in the case was $250, but as Jones only got $1.).00, blamed if he didn't let him off with the odd $50, takin' only the $200 for himself."—Atlanta Con- stitution. It is Said That some men keep everything except their distance. That the most wonderful flight on record was when the chimney flue. That some men should be called Lily— they toil not, neither do they spin. That some men are born great, and grow smaller every day of their lives. That we should always forgive our enemies —especially those we can't whip. Than an hour -glass is made smallest in the middle to show the waist of time. That time softens all things ; but a railroad sandwich is not included in the list. That the man who wants the earth need not expect to get it unless he advertises. That the world is but a fleeting show, and to most of us the good seats have all been taken. That happiness begins when wishes end ; and he who hankers after more enjoys noth- ing. That if there is one thing that quicker than another will drive a man to drink it is thirst. That a man is always reedy to listen to words of wisdsm when he is speaking them himself.—Chin. Paradoxical but to the Point. New York Press : " You don't seem to be as friendly with young Wilde as for- merly, Maude." r, " No , I am trying to cast him out ofmy thoughts,, he is unworthy." " Do you find it hard to forget him?" " Well, the more I think of him the leas I think of him." Preceded It. "Now, gentlemen," asked the professor of literature, " what preceded the 'Mid- summer Night's Dream 1" " A few early harvest apples," suggested the class wag. —All petitions to the British House of Commons must be in handwriting, and may riot be printed. At a recent meeting of the Shipmasters' Society of England, the fact was brought out that one fireman 011 board ship commits suicide to every 900 employed, as against one in 10,000 among landsmen. It is sug- gested that the high temperatures in which the mon are compelled to work is, to a large measure, responsible for the great percentage of suicides. "Lady Leapyear" wishes to know if we think wile should propose. Net unless they tan support a httaband, FUME, llWEE'I i1Ol1l1S. Sentiinentul Definitions oftbe .'lace Loved by .All. Tid Bits offeredbay prize for the best defi- nition of home. Here aro some of thebest. of 5,000 answers sent in e. The golden setting in which the brightest jewel is. "mother." A world of strife shut out, a world of love shut An arbor which shades when the aunshine of prosperity becomes too dazzling ; a harbor where the human bark finds shelter in the time of adversity. , Home is the blossom, of which heaven is the fruit. Home is a person's estate obtained with- out injustice, kept without disquietude ; a place where time is spent without repent- ance, and which is ruled by justice, mercy and love. A grand old mirror, through which both sides of us are seen. That source of comfort which youth does not fully appreciate, which the young men and maidens lovingly desire, which the middle-aged generally possess, which the old rightly value. A hive in which, like the industrious bee, youth garners the sweets and'memories of life for age to meditate and feed upon. The best place for a married man after business hours. Home is the cosiest, kindliest, sweetest place in all the world, the scene of our purest earthly joys and deepest sorrows. The only spot on earth where the faults and failings of fallen humanity are hidden under the mantle of charity. An abode in which the inmate, the "superior being called man," can pay back at night with 50 per cent. interest every annoyance that has met him in business during the day. The place where the great are sometimes small and the small sometimes great. The father's kingdom, the children's para- dise, the mother's world. The jewel casket containing the most precious of all jewels—domestic happiness. Where you are treated best and you grumble most. Home is a central telegraph office of human love, into which run innumerable wires of affection, many of which, though extending thousands of miles, are never dis- connected from the one great terminus. The centre of our affections, around which our hearts' beat wishes twine. . ,•_„ A little hollow scooped out of the windy hill of the world, where we can be shielded from its cares and annoyances. A popular but paradoxical institution, in which woman works in the absence of man and man rests in the presence of woman. A working model of heaven, with real angels in the form of mothers and wives. The place where all husbands should be at night.—London Tid Bits. The English soldiers in the Soudan were supplied with. St. Jacob's Oil. HAN SHOULD NOT LIVE ALONE. Chief Inspector Byrnes a Strong Advocate of Second Marriage. Inspector Byrnes has very decided views in regard to second marriages. To a New York Mercury reporter he said : "I would not have any man or woman live alone, if I could direct things a little more on this planet. My dealings are chiefly with people in trouble, and when I get a fellow in a corner, if he has never been married, I say to hien the first thing, ' Why aren't you married?' and if he has been, and his wife is dead, I say, ' Why in the mischief don't you marry again ? You wouldn't be in this hole if yon had a good wife and a home.' ' And it is always so,' said the inspector. ' Many a good fellow has gone to the devil, where he'd have kept all straight if he'd married again. He feels he has no one to welcome him when he gets back, and there's always good cheer and a welcome to be bought out- side. That's the slippery road, and he takes it just to kill time. He doesn't know where it's going to take him, and he gets landed in a bad spot before he knows where he is. It's not good for any man to feel the domestic responsibility lifted off him. That's his safeguard, and where he hasn't it he's very often apt to shake off social and moral re- sponsibility as well. " Yes," said the inspector earnestly, " I strongly advise second marriages." Across the Continent. Wm, Renwick, M.D., M.R.C.S.E., Vic- toria, B.C., writes : I have used Miller's Emulsion of Cod Liver Oil in cases of indi- gent patients with the most gratif,ing aesults. It does not upset the stomach, is easily assimilated and possesses 'undoubted power in rebuilding weakened constitutions, where the ordinary form of administering Cod Liver Oil is not admissable. For the future, whenever I have occasion to pres- cribe any preparation of Cod Liver Oil, I will give Miller's Emulsion the preference, being perfectly satisfied with its therapeutic efficacy. In big bottles, 50c. and $1 at all drug stores. Changed His Nalne. There is a man a compositor on one of the old dailies here who very suddenly bad his name changed. This was nearly twenty years ago. He went into the office for work. The foreman gave him a case at once, and he set type for a week. When the foreman was ready to make up his pay roll he asked this man his name. The printer is a Pole and is or was blessed with one of the most jaw -breaking ones of its class. In reply to the foreman's question he said : " My name is Kantzenwokowski." " Not by a jugful," said the foreman, realizing what it would be to put that name on paper every week ; "your name is Brown." And as a matter of fact that printer has been Brown ever since. He still works in the same office, but Brown he became and Brown he always will be. It is doubtful if he himself can even remember his real Polander name.—Chicago News. Novel El etioneering. Washington Post : This is how John 0. Kyle, the new member from the Second Minnesota district, secured his election : He made the rounds in a buggy, with a big, stout negro to drive him. He went right to the fields of the white voters, and, driv- ing up to where the sovereign was plowing, he would introduce himself and then he would make the negro take hold of the plow and turn many a furrow while he and the farmer took a smoke under a shade tree and talked over the situation. It worked like a charm, and though Mr. Morgan tried to hold on through the Farmers' Alliance he was " not in it " at all when it came to " show down." Kyle and his swarthy travelling plow hand had captured the horny handed voters. How many English speaking people who read of the attempted suicide of the famous French author, Guy do Maupassant, know how he pronounces his . last name. The English "Guy," pronounced to rhyme with "high," is familiar enough as a clang term and as a proper name. But the French eeins by the very best authorities to be cor- rectly called to Gweo." The timeliest pariah in England is Wil. cot, Oxon. It contains seven persons. Ikr yn,±NM„J,�fINUI'1[dilL40,6:ikV.U11190 'f044401,4uWA1iANCNM'4A101 100640100.4.•. ,.... ,.* + xc4C11 1 L r21,4a4 a :4 4. :'FAC >fK:au�wt.�..E.,a�•i4>I:«.r�,;i2 r ITIT V .A. A1:�`f :EQUAL. • t IACOJ ojWiZ e "•...::: . ,. f HEU TSM 01/1 TRADE tl*e ,,� MARL( k I URALWA !. •�i11'�'``1,?Mb,l�� LUMBAGO, - 1�M =Tt1� CREAT d+ �A loft 1 iiic., Sprain Bruises, lhoarnsi Swellings. THE CHARLE$ A. VOOELER COMPANY, Baltlmn "e, W1d. Canadian Depot: TORONTO, ONT. ...i! ,tih,fi) t'lI ;14,:ts A .J reit,.: RETURNED AT LAST. Story of Ileal Life Which Reads Like a ' Romance. That was an interesting party that sat down to dinner on New Year's Day in the neatly furnished home of Mr. and Mrs. Hall, on Hanover street, Boston. The party con- sisted of Mrs. Mary Hall, the mother ; on her right was young Charles, on her left Minnie, a pretty miss of 14, while opposite the mother sat " Jim " Hall, the husband and father. This was a reunion dinner, for "Jim " Hall had been absent for 10 years, and during that time etrange occurrences had taken place. The day was also the an- niversary of their wedding, and when the elder couple looked back over the events of their lives since their marriage fifteen years ago, tears of joy and sorrow strove for the mastery as they fell from overflowing eye- lids. The story of the lives of this little family is worth telling, for it is very strange and unusual and shows a new phase in the affec- tions of human families. "Jim "Hall was a fisherman, and alter five years of happy married life, he shipped on a Gloucester vessel for a trip to the Western banks. While away from the vessel in a dory, after striking fish, a fog set in, followed by a blinding storm. There were two in the boat, and row which way they would they could not find their vessel. Two days of suffering and his companion died. Another day and Hall became unconscious. He awoke in the cabin of a New Bedford brig, bound to the Artie seas on a whaling voyage. He was rescued, but terribly frozen. Misfortunes and disappointments followed. The skip- per of the brig held him a prisoner for two voyages from the Azores, and five years had passed when "Jim" Hall returned to his native town. He sought his wife and child- ren, but they could not be found. He learned that the fishing smack on which he left Gloucester returned in due time with colors flying at half-mast, and the report of the loss was duly made. Then he learned that his wife mourned his loss for three years, and, . becoming satisfied that her husband was lost at sea, she, for the sake of her children, accepted an offer of marriage and had re- moved to Belleville, Kan. The money saved from his long voyage gave "Jim" Hall the opportunity he wanted. The first train he could get, after his inquiries had elicited all the information necessary, bore him to the West. He located his wife as Mrs. Winsor, Iiving very happily with her new husband. The rest of the story may be given in Mr. Hall's own language : " Then came the crisis of "my life. Would I call at the peaceful home and announce myself, or wait and try to out- live the man who married my wife and cared for my children during the hours of need ? I got a job ten milea out of the city, and my only pleasure was to keep n watchful eye over my family and stand ready, if need be, to lend a helping hand. Nov. 15th he died. I attended the funeral, and after waiting a few days I sent a note stating that I was near, and would call the following evening." The aequel of this strange story is the reunion of the family around the family dinner table on New Year's Day. " May they live long and • prosper," will be the wish of many who will read this remarkable chapter from real life. The OM, Old Story. Troy Times : The preacher who merely turns the sermon barrel the other end up when a new year rolls around must not be surprised if most of his congregation consists of empty pews. Not as Ile Looks. Rochester Herald : Mrs. Gobbs—It is very strange that your friend Dobbs never married. Mr. Gobba—Oh, you don't know Dobbs. He isn't half such a fool as he looks. A mechanical le,ter-stamper worked by electricity is being tested at the post•office in Washington. The ten lines of railroad centering in London send out 2,210 suburban trains a day, carrying 400,000,000 passengers a year. OATIO 3ZNJQXS Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant and refreshing to the taste and acts gently yet promptly on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys- tem effectually, dispels colds, head- aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is the only remedy of its kind ever pro (luced, pleasing to the taste and ac- ceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its manyexcellentqualities commend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale in. 75c bottles by all leading druggists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will procure it Pprotl for • any one who wishes .mpY , to try it. Manufactured only by the FIC SYRUPCO„CALIFORNIA FIG C SAN To RA1YOIS0o, 0.11.14. LOUISVILLE, 11CX. NNW YORE,1!t. PROPERLY COl6STIZ UEIP. The Court's Orders were Transgressed, "fllsut There was en Excuse. A judge had issued an order that all at- torneys appearing in his court should wear "black coat and trousers." His Honor, with frowning visage,acoosted a disobedient attorney : " Mr. Pettigrew, do you know, sir, that you are transgressing a most positive order of this court?' " In what way, may it please you Honor ?" " The order says you shall wear black coat and trousers," yelled the judge. " I have on a black coat and trousers," replied the wit. " But," roared the judge, " the order means black coat and black trousers." " I don't read it so," replied Pettigrew. " It also reads that the sergeant -at -arms should wear a cocked hat and sword. I see the cocked hat, but I don't see any 'cocked' sword." There was no further judicial comment on the nankeens. FITS.—All kits stopped free by Dr. Blinds Great Nerve Restorer. No Fits after first day's use. Marvellous cures. Treatise and$2,90 trial bottle free to Fit cases. Send to Dr. Mine 931 Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa Nothing is to be compared for value with goodness ; riches, honor, -power, pleasure learning, the whole world and all in it are not worth having in comparison with being good.—Charles Kingsley. D. C. N. L. 3. 92 ARE NOT a Pur- gative Medi- cine. They are a BLOOD BLIILDRE, Toaro and REoole STRUOTOR, as they supply in a condensed form the substances actually needed to en- ich the Blood, oaring all diseases Doming from Poop and WAT- RY BLOOD, Or ir011I VITIATED HUMORS in the BLOOD, and also invigorate and BUILD up the BLOOD and SYSTEM, when broken down by overwork; mental worry disease: excesses and lmdisore- tions. They have a SPECIFIC ACTION On. the SEXUAL SYSTEM of both men and women. restoring LOST vrGcn and correcting all IRREGULARITIES and SUPPRESSIONS. EVERYMAN Who finds bis mentai'iac- m 619 6111 la ultiea dull or tailing, ar his physical powers flagging, should take these Puma. They will restore his lost energies, both. physical and mental. EVERY 5MbN They ouraks eall hsem preseions and ,sregularities,. which inevitably entail sicknes3 ",Then neglected. YOUNG MEN Theywill ecuro ttho sults of youthful bad habits, and strengthen this system. YOUNG WOMEN she so take thef. These FILLS will make them regular. For sale by all druggists, or will be sent uxpon receipt of price (50c. per box), by addressing TSE DR: irizzILMS' MED. CO. Erocleiiis. Ont. WEAK M E N TI will explain asbY stomach medicine not mesa a broken law of nature. An instru ment invented by a German doctor, the Alarm Waker, worn et night, will stop emissions at once. Write me if you are in needofhyelyp. It Address P. B. LA t•, Bosuffering 44, nekama, Mich. 1 Ax71?.. &itlf aF ,c r"gonc,ol0a1,oowo ""j, Oh , Vanes, Coo, mm, t1 . n4- my xr"�N.ine'are VITVE: 8.vrC.r110 itaow tbu. CONSUMPTION. rl'1HE GREAT PULMONARY REMEDY 4 Wistar's Pulmonic Syrup of Wild Cherry and Hoarhound." Consumption, that hydra headed monster that annually sweeps awayits tens of thousands of our blooming youths, may be prevented by the timely use of of this vale able medicine. Consumption and lung disease arise from coughs and colds neglected. Wistar's Pulmonio Syrup is sold by drug {Mets at 25o. PENNYROYAL WAFERS.. A specieo monthly modlolno for ladies to restore and regulate rho manse; 'producing free, oar and neon ap- proach, Now used by over 30,000 lading,. Once used, willing' again. Invigorates those organs, Buy of your druggist only those with our signature across face of label. Avoid substitutes. SealeQ, particulars mailed 2c stamp. stepper. box. Address, EUREKA. onalliVdL COsiPANY. Dsrnorr, h9na ilot Air ileating Gurney's : Standard : Fupna ► Y, Are Powerful, Durable. Eoonoinical. THOU8ANDS let USE, giving ever' sat. tn' tion. For sale byall the leading dea'fera. Write for catalogue and fall pnt'tloaleen The E. & 0. Gurney Oo.s. HAMILTON, ONT, t, ,c Pt r �' �i Q�ES W ER` Alt E SE A118. Hest ugh rtip Tastes Goo IIs va in, mai Sold , ,• `�. Cc h�1$ ! , P-I'I N.. 4.,