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FUTURE.
The Recently Completed Maitland Manor
•
E A nnet- Street
We of Refinghaus Construction are proud to be sharing
in the building and the growth. of the Town of Goderich.
- Maitland Manor is but another .,building we have recent-
ly completed. This institution brings to Goderich a much need-
ed service and we are pleased with the,fact that we were chosen
as the General Contractor for this project.
ACROSS THE BOSPHORYS BY
SfPECIAL% DELIVERY LETTER
Now that, summer threatens,
everyone is planipiing a holiday;
1 a. vacation; glorious nights un -
.der- a canopy of stars etc. On-
tario, which is the Education
Centre -of -the New W.orld,..offers..
as a first, a series of Holiday
Conditioning Courses for all
ages. •True you can scuba. -dive
in -the bathroom, ski at the
curling club, while spear -fishing
can be fun in the living room
and you can always take a Sur-
vival Test in the hospital or
nursing home. • But now the
Wawanosh Research Lab. offers
you a series of training: courses
which meet the real needs of
fun loving vacationers. Here are
a few of the courses they offer
you:
Happimotoring Course
This' is merely a sample of
over 50 such courses offered to
clients. The candidate is pro-
vided with a blurred copy of
the same plan ' of Goderich
which is handed to all tourists
calling at the Information Booth.
This plan, which is based on a
very old survey, has a certain
subtlety in that it marks roads
which have long since disap-
peared, over the' bank. This
feature makes our Happimotor-
ing Course much more interest-
ing and educational. For the
easier understanding by local
inhabitants only, non-existent
roads or streets are placed in
quotation marks below.. The
prescribed route is marked in
red on the plan. The starting
point of the course is the top
By G.. MpcLEOD ROSS
of Harbour Hill at the junction
of 'West And Cobourg streets;
one of the trickiest 311/actions tb
negotiate with a whole skin in
all Ontai Co. A digest of the
test goes °thus: '
9.30 a.m. Start ' towards Co-
_. -1 Qura ,s'r ,._lw cna a: !YTolks
wager. coming ' up , the hill
from the harbor at 80 m.p.h.
plus,' removes right 1 .
10.00 a.m... Proceed alongpCo-
bourg street and bear right
handed and on down "Ship
street." (N.B. The anchor
chains have been specially
lowered for this test) 10.03
a.m. Collect senses at'bottom
of "Ship street" where it joins
"Beach street." (Note: "Beach
street" has been under the
lake for the past 50 years .but
it provides, a reliable test of
the waterproof qualities of
your ignition system.)
11.00 a.m. The tow truck fin-
ally drags the . car on to
"Water street" where dewater-
ing is effected.
2.00 p.m. Candidate. follows
"Harbor' Lane" on to the CPR
tracks to obtain a simulation
of Belgian block pave.
3.00 p.m. 'Candidate finds„ left
front wheel has penetrated
the decking on CPii, bridge
and comes to abrupt halt.
5.00 p.m. Candidate still stuck
on bridge. Is summoned for
contravention of two-hour
parking by-law.
6.00 p.m. Candidate leaves
bridge in cust;dd p, and is then
attacked by large elkhound.
6.05 p.m. Custodian having
left for hospital en route to
•
Vet away from all!
Get an. HFC
Traveloan
Take that well-earned vacation
-it's important for your family's
health and well-being. An HFC
Traveloan is a sensible way -te-
- pay for all the tiings you need
to Make your.vacation a success:
transortation, lodging, clothing,
equipment. When you
• return, relaxed and re-
freshed, you can repay,
conveniently. Ask about
your Traveloan today
at HFC.
Ask about
credit life insurance Above p yments include principal and interest and are
at low grow rates based on prompt repayment, but do•not include the cost of
A-lite-insuraam-.
AMOUNT
OF •
LOAN
MONTHLY
36
months
PAYMENT
30
months
PLANS
20 I 12
months I months
$100
$..,,
•
$. •.. _
$ 6.12
-$ 9.46
550
23.73-
32.86
.51.24
750
31.65
44.13
'"69.21
1000
41.45
-58.11
91.56
1600'"'
-- 81
94:11"
146.52
.2200-
83.71
9.4.6.
129.41
201.46
2500
95.12
107.52
147:05
228.93
HOUSEHOLD FINANC
GODERICF1
35A West Street -Telephone 524-7383
(above the Signal Star)
Ask about our ez'eiiing hours
pound! candidate no longer
•• in "custody, Ile may returni
hope, able.
Xaravan Knish !Course
Suppose ° you are one- of the
two' million funlovers Planning
a vacation in Harbor Park, the
Caravtan Headquarter ; ,,o n.
t'ario, well, we have not' over-
looked. ,YOU. Our Wawanosh
Swamp Labs have been busy,
Here is . an outline_ of the ,Car-
avan Course:
The lucky holidaymaker is
locked in a wooden case with
two of our specially trained
Simulated Family Members.
During preliminary -training an
"upper" bed falls on his head;
brooms are jabbed in his eyes
and ears; a constant roof 'leak
trickles down the back of his
neck. Then, with his fingers
trapped in a folding. bed, the
lavatory overflows; -followed by
the explosion of the propane
bottle (very realistic this), while
the Artificial Family Members
jeer and abuse him. A thick
blue cloud of burning fat vapor
pervades the whole. Two whole
days are then spent lin complete
darkness and silence with our
trained rats, a rattler, two
spiders and a rabid- dog. This
is followed by a night on a
filter bed.
The TENTING COURSE on
the other hand, provides a tent
of revolutionary and hence un-
familiar design, which has to
be set up in darkness in our
wind .tunnel on a floor com-
posed of 75`;x• granite and 25°,
sand. Each night a different
object wanders into the tent
beginning with selected mem-
• bers of our Simulated 'Family,
accompanied by a mad - cat.
This works up to a black Angus
bull, into the rump .of which,
our specially trained small boys'
fire • airgun darts. Optio ,
are: An uncontrollable fire a
or supporting a fallen tree.
Obligatory is •the course• in Bot-
tle -Lobbing into adjoining gar-
dens. • We also offer an advanc-
ed course ($50.00 in advance)
which gives a choice"-of"being
struck• 7 'l ghtnIr g or complete
immersion under a 15 foot
seiche.
Parents ! - I
Taking the kids•for their first
holiday away • from home this
year? Thena trial course (as
little as $150.80) with Billy the
Butane -Baby Th for you. Billy,
developed exclusively in our,
Wawanosh Swamp Lab. to sim-
144, 7ilal, 1060
ulata typical live -yew' old', boy,
Comes,. 10 roa CQnulete With .
1014/4T $t1ue C, Om* .t ate,
ids head uck In 8 -Section o.....
railings, (z'gti rabic$ Dilly: can
be pre-set set to throw up bis food'.
at 'hourly, 4fteeut. minute or IF-
.regular interval's. lie
structed to scream .,jmmoderate
]y„after wounding himself _with.r
a broken bottle. a high powered
rills•or . ;a souped ,up '4ode1 E''•
iiagaar ear. Wind Billy` p be•'
fare going. to, :bed. 40 be, will -
wander off and fter two hours .•
scream bluQ mur erg until .fpund.
Billy xs packa,odi in a hint' t;L.w
fooa. .'When 'ordering.,.add 50c
for aaditional bag .of "feed."
*
For those going abroad, a per-
sonalized copy of the , NEW
CONCISE OXFORD VACATION-
ER is a must, This essential
adjunct contains;
1. A Technical Glossary explain-
ing such terms as: • '
H. & C. -the well is half a
mile away.
Modern Sanitation: -the little
wooden shed at the bottom
of the garden.
Dogs Welcome. - Carry a
heavy club.
Tipping Forbidden. - 50%
service charge.
Stone's throw from Beach. -
Choose a room at rear of
house.
2. Instant conversion tables.
For example: $1.00 Can. ---
50c U.S.
3. Easy to read, BIG PRINT in
structions on:
How to fly a DC7B on one
one wing with the under-
carriage stuck.
What to do till the Consul
arrives.
A layman's guide to Beri-beri.
How to deal with your hypo-
, chrondiac companion.
Spanish Prisons can he fun.
Crown 8 vo Cloth $15.00 or.
edible, in various flavors, $76.10
post free. Do not pay the
Postman!
Much pride" of workriians'hip goes into every, undertak-
ing. Completing the job on schedule is another aspect of the
job that we are ' very particular about. Refflinghaus Construc-
tion will be pleased to work with you if you are thinking of con-.
struction in the future.
We will be gratified to help you build your future.
REFFLI
ON'ST
.
re
0
GHAUS'
UCTION
LIMITED
REC
PROGRAM
• REGISTRATIONS
Dead Animal'
REMOVAL
For dead and disabled animals
' call collect
Darling & Company.
of Canada Ltd. •
:Phone 482-7269, Clinton
Dead animal licence number
350-C-65
4tf
ERE -CH
REA'tmTION
For those proposing to visit
Goderich ONLY we include,
gratis, a short monograph by
the Ontario water resolaxces ex,.
penis entitled: Ta filter or NOT
to filter.
Be' Prepared!
Try otie of our' 'DO-IT-YOUR-
SELF Kits. An amazing selec-
tion to cover any eventuality
while away from home.
j'. Wife s g1i se's case down a
German Drain Kit.
2. Child Overboard in the Greek
Isles Kit.
3. Plumbing Made Easy Any-
where Kit.
4. MVMassasagua rattler wrapped
round the Throat Kit. -
5. How .to open- the BY=PASS-- 4-•+ -
without phoning Toronto Kit.
Many- _43 thers_ir_pr_eparatian....
Write us today, mentioning The
Blue Thumb, to 'Wawanosh
Swamp Research Labs.,. Ont.
12345 -a» -Telex- Swampy.
P.S. Planning a cruise to the
Mediterranean or West Indiies?
Then you must take our "FAIL-
ING -TO -TIP" course Only
three weeks. You return an ex-
pert in Judo and Jui Jitsu and
can get away with murder; Call,
don't write,' "NO -TIP" Wawa -
nosh, Ont. Send no money.
We trust you.
(With apologies to "Punch".)
Registrations For The Summer Swimming Recreation
Program Are . .
0
AVAILABLE. AT TOWN HALL
• ADULTS
Registration For Adult Swim Classes Are AvaiIabie
DEADLINE FOR REGISTRATION
JUNE 18, 1965
FEE $3.00