HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Wingham Advance-Times, 1975-10-30, Page 21• �.•0 e.0114*a$0►0q•}
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' y` ree ea
that all MY teeth Ore etunib
and bred ingooff;like toast, Jt's
terrible ightmare X, always
wake .up sweating, = me flu«
sera -into my' month and, ,grout
With relief when I find' .teeth
are still there, and with pain be-
cause �X• have 'bitten. ►y fingers.
�,�TodAay.,1 feel that I'm a"'Tacvpi�Rng}a
claymore,. rather than ,43
mares .Last night at dinner, one of
my front, teeth came away in the
midst ofa glorious dish ofcurried
chicken.. I love curried., ;chicken,
and this time my wife had excel+
led,herself, whatever that means,
but I atn not keen an CU cried
chicken with teeth in it, even
when they are my own.
However, this incident did not
alarm me, unduly or otherwise. It
wasonly my peg tooth.. Every
couple of .months it comes un-
screwed or whatever, I carefully
comb it out of the soup or spag-
hetti, trot down to the dentist
with it clutched in my hand; he
dusts it off, pops it back in, ce-
ments -it in place and•I'm back in
business, stuffing my guts.
But this morning, munching
my matins (in this case a ripe
yellow pear that tasted, as so
much fruit does nowadays, like
wet cardboard), I crunched on
something hard. Now I know that
pears do riot have either bones or
stones. They have pips. And I
knew that this particular pear did
not even have a pip, because my
OU
Oi
tOOth
jot the` "mi
j,
There was no pain I
ease, :uuat a se
fself-disgust, as I v
nightmare It's .bad r
pull a filling wben eati.
or to snap off a'bit of nip.
you crunch dolfin en. an.
pected beef -bone, or
an aching"tooth y►
have one break of f,.whe ►, sat
an ever -ripe. Pear. • . Yellow=t
I still wasn't plunged into t
depths, Some people go for years
with no hair on their hem
plant articles in magazines:,sug-
gesting baaldies are more vire.
Others go all their lives wiLh no
brains to speak of:. f . reekoi
eouldget. through theeday without'
two teeth. (.
And I did. But bymoone ti 'tip
of my tongue was raw 4144044
ded,` from thrusting it into
Jagged crevice (creval ?) ,rr„ i
But I was coping. And' 1 w
that if I hustled down to my,
friendly dentist, he . wOuid
squeeze me in somehow, and.
patch me up somehow.
I should have known better.'
From my air force days,"I knn
that disasters always comeArt
(such as legs"), - };
somehow, rami
needle into a ;t _ '7 lower
jaw-borle,,feb and, two
spaces from he,
*1011.4,4"4.
I almost sea d. loud, a f
screamed eilently.;; The. needle
was removed. TWOpinutes later,
that red-hot, needle Pktiaged int°
the tooth directly .above itj haYe
two teeth on that side, upperand
lower, and, they are fainly friend-
ly with each of 'i c+ a there
is nobody els arOtMit
This time I couldn t help it. I
emitted, "Huh!", as though
someone were driving a stake
through my heart. I sagged into
my chair, white and shaken
You can always depend on stu-
dents. They rally around when
things are rough,. despite their
outward cynicism.y're all
heart inside that tougexterior.
"I think the old sod's havenna
hardatak. Wuddells we dao?"
"Jeez, I hope he hazzen godour
tests marked yet, I think. I failed
mine."
"Maybe he's just godda bad
hangover. Slap him in the face a
coupla times and he might come
around."
I came out of it, of course, and
pretended I was enacting Heath -
cliff's grief in Wuthering Heights.
When they looked as though they
didn't believe me, I curled back
my bottom lip and snarled . at
them with my new gap-toothed
look. They shut up.
When everything cooled down,
I realized that my back teeth
were merely expressing sym-
pathy for my lost front teeth. It
made them lonelier than ever.
But they didn't have to shriek
their sympathy at such volume.
My whole jaw has been aching
for the remainder of this dark
day, but the red-hot needle has
cooled to a blunt instrument.
As soon as I finish telling you
this fascinating episode of a con-
tinued story called "One Man's
Fangs," I'm going straight to the
dentist, and have him rip every
tattered remnant of bone out of
my head. Then i am going up to
the hospital and have the calcium
chipped off my right foot -bone,
my gall -bladder removed, just in
case it ever acts up, a heart-
pacer put in, and three or four
pints of blood in the, event of
threes.
Right in the middle of a bril-
liant
iliant lesson on the use of four -I0 -
ter words in Victorian .1iteratui.re.
•
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VIEW •!.
ltRn`f ^main R. acter of rine
and Private Place :is Eugene
'Shore, a hometown writer of in
ternational' fame, yet unknown
eveh''by s el eat aelgbbours,
11110 la Sh's ovate way, Of Vie..
mit l Pne day, a,. New York critic
bei ttles the town for ignoring
talented Writer . who lives among-
st them: �•.. It its only then that
Shore's neighbours of many
years finally ',discover what he
does for a ,living,Meanwhile,; on
the other side of the ravine, a
young "scholar"' (ie university
grad), Al Delaney is seeking
fame and 'fortune by attempting
to write a book about Norman
Mailer.
As most anyone can guess, De-
laney meets Shore, becomes ob.
sessed by .Shore's/work and life,
and begins delving into what
makes Shore's books the master-
ful works they .are. Works that
are, on the surface, simple, but
which stir the soul, the empathy,
the mind of the reader.
The book is, on the surface,
simple, yet has a quality that
stirs the soul, the empathy, the
mind of the reader. AH HA!
Reading the book, it is hard to re-
main unconfused, to stay clear of
the teasing little trap Callaghan
has set up. If ever an author at-
tempted to arrange his own im-
age, Callaghan has certainly suc-
ceeded at that. He never pro-
claimed this to be an autobiogra-
phy, yet this is what the critics
tell us. This is based on similari-
ties between Callaghan and his,
character, Shore. Both are elder-
ly writers, law school graduates
who never practised law, Toronto
born"and known more prominent-
ly on the international market
than in their home country. But
do these similarities mean it is an
autobiography?
Or, does Callaghan ingeniously
predetermine for us to believe on
alk
ac
.LET'S
.ycipr own .pgth
factstbeie that it is
AO satOlegraPtY1 If we , then
iens)ywe Confuse the
sonage More with Callaghan.
And t ' a er, reading thrugh
Unconscious",
:believewe: reading aY
Iaghan,:,i k. teasy1
Make believe .villa.
choos.
What he 400e
au "effect"; of mys
dark. s mystery. technique
what makesthe a. ole story of
Shore's (Callaghan's?) Jolting..a..
masterpiece,:Callas cei y
does this in A .Fid and Private
Place. What is outlined as a
simple lot -boy seeks to write a
Wit atit welt ;known author
and his style,, combined wwitl
various intertwined Subplots --
boy meets girt, bayand girl argue
because`bo)r is .so,involved with
his Shore obsession, girl inter-
feres b talking to ssurro of prob.
tem r ting sn'�angry boy, and
on and on, vely, ,simple, al -
moat prosaic; pro n d subplots
on the surface. Yet Callaghan
does something masterful with
these basics. ' He creates, in his
own words, an effect, all aura of
mystery, the very quality, in
Shore's writing that Taney is
constantly trying to interpret. We
never do really understand ex=
actly what Shore's mysterious
technique is, a$ we" may riot un-
derstand what it is about A Fine .,
And Private Place that makes it
so readable, 41'
Whether this quality is a reali-
ty, or whether this reader for one •
has been caught up i what.may_
be Callaghan's•:& tease of image,
doesn't really Matter.. What-mat-
ters
hat :mat-ters is that Callaghan is a' fine
and private writer, and• A Fine
and Private Place is the work of a
truly masterful Canadian writer.
Just one little thing, though —
didn't anyone ever tell Morley
that miniskirts are out of style?
Read it .— you'll understand;
1
amine li
;yeas -,long f s!
whales porpoises,
marine
1411001011110
way
verity i California.
scientists. The purpose
Bi reau of
Rv REV. LEE TRUMAN
On one pf the last days of
my paternal crandmother's
Remember the days when the
comic strips were called "the
funnies"? Remember when they
were funny? Remember Barney
Google? The Katzenjammer
lUds? Happy Hooligan?
If you do you're probably a
moss -backed grandad like my-
self, and your bewildering off-
spring would never be able to be-
lieve now much that world of the
cartoon fantasy once meant to us.
There were two kinds of funnies
when we were kids. There was
first of all the black and white
daily kind. We didn't buy a daily
newspaper at our house but we
always got one just the same. We
got yesteday's paper from one of
the lovelier women we delivered
milk to. She always put it out with
her empty milk bottle. And let me
tell you there was many a fierce
squabble when that paper was
taken apart on our kitchen table.
There were after all only three or
four pages of funnies in those
days and there were eight of us
Butit was the coloured funnies
which came with the Sunday
paper which wcre the real trea-
sure, We bought it downtown
every Saturday night even
though a dime was a lot of money
then. And for those of us who
were old enough to do our own
reading, we devoured the funnies
before we went to bed that night.
But the Sunday paper was sup-
posed to be read on Sunday, and
for the younger ones, that's when
it was read.
Remember how your kid bro-
thers and sisters would spread
the pages out on the kitchen floor
and flake out on their little bellies
trying, trying to figure out what
the writing meant? I can never
recall hearing an educationalist
giving them any praise, but I
wonder sometimes if those old
funny pages weren't one of the
reasons why my generation
reads so much better than our
gandehildren do.
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At our house the kids could
hardly wait till Dad got in from
the chores. "Read this one first!
Will you Dad? It's about Andy
Gump and He's still lost in the
desert!"
Dad would take an inordinate
time at the cistern pump washing
up, but he never disappointed
them: "You should be studying
your Sunday School lesson in-
stead of looking at that silly
stuff!" he'd say. Then he would
pull a chair up to the stove, hoist
a child on either knee and the
higher ones would look over his
shoulder as he took up the Andy
Gump page. And as he read, his
big cracked finger would trace
out the words. Sometimes it
would take most Of an hour before
the last page was put aside and
the questions were all answered.
"Where is the desert, Dad?"
"That hump on the camel, it's
full up with water, eh Dad?
That's why we can't have camels
in this country, because here
come winter they'd freeze up and
bust, eh Dad?"
Our mother didn't approve of
the funnies. They seemed a bit
worldly for a Christian home, she
thought.
Well mother dear, wherever
you are, the kids aren't so crazy
about the funnies anymore. To-
. day they have records, tapes,
slick magazines, Book -of -the -
Month, colour television with
UHF. But I'm afraid they have so
much, so much today that noth-
ing seems precious to them any
more. And the Dad of the house —
that Dad who used to put his sock
feet on the oven door to read the
comics to his brood — where is he
now come Sunday morning? Up-
stairs in bed likely. And he'll be
there till noon probably, resting
from his never-ending struggle to
keep his home filled with the
absolute best. But his kids don't
miss him' much. Not really. Be-
cause chances are they haven't
got to know him yet.
life, I was sitting beside her
bed. Gram was reminiscing,
and as her memory
wandered, she talked of how
the world had changed during
the half century when she
was a pioneering bride in the
flatlands of Oldahama.
He a Chocktaw Indian, she
had married my grandfather
when she was 16. She saw
things a little different, and
certainly walked to a differ-
ent drummer all her life, in
bare feet no less.
19 asked Gram what
changes during her life she
considered the most signifi-
cant. I was musing in my own
mind about the telegraph,
tractor, airplane, automobile
or even the rocket. She was
quiet for some time. "I'll tell
you the one I most regret,"
she said.
"When I was a girl, there
were so many persons who
stood out as individuals and
now there are so few. It
seems that more and more
people are trying to be like
each other, to conform," she
continued, "to think, talk,
dress and even look alike. In
those days you could tell a
person who was worth know -
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Wednesday of week prior io pub -
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