HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1889-6-13, Page 6P.SVDEROB PRACTICAL'S ADVICE TO Altr 1D RATORE.
An "old maid" you would call min girls,
and you would have to look at me twice
before you would decide whether or not, I
wets of the paletable kied, New, you will
have to look at wee through the pagea
paper perhape °Riefler than thee, before
you make up your mind.
I heard mete of a gay young friend of mine,
who classified rue as followe : Prude nee P.
Profeetion-Old,Maid. Certainitiesregarding
above -Tongue, temper and handiness.
Uncertainties regarding eame-Age and com-
plexion. And my complexion ie the one
thing I am proud of, for in spite of my three
decades, I have preserved my good healthy
color. Bat sorne &dojo° on that, by and by.
I expel this kind of thing, bub ant prectical
enoug to rather enjoy in Think of thae 1
And the young scamp knew it when • he told
me of the friendly ontitism. But before I
begin any peroration on your shortcomings,
for the loving and lovable girl of to -day"
has them, I must answer a question, which I
know will have arisen in ytur miud ere this,
and after having done so, I am confident
you will accept my old fashioned counsel
muck better.
How well I remember one het day in July,
when the lea-ves hung, limp and 'Reims, and
the grass with its bledes curled up thirst-
ed just for one drop from the clear cloudless
sky, and as I lay under the cool shady bran-
ches of a gnarled old Ani''mist apple tree, I
thought out my C ereer. One thing I wee
sure of. If anything happ.eined to a certain
friend of mine, I should live and die an "old
ntaid." I did not admire the prospect, but
was too praotioal, as my name tells you,,to
consider this an impeasibility although we
had made wondrous plans for our future.
"Dear me 1" I said, as I gazed up in the
tree and (taught a speck of bark or a bug in
my wide open eye, "I wonder if all old
maids have a story."
Just then, I caught sight of a tall figure
leaping over the old tenni at the end of the
orchard, and coming striding up to my old
apple -tree, whereupon I immediately sat up
properly, blinked the bug out of my vision
ary organ and fancied the air felt a little
cooler and more. pleasant. Such thinge will
affect our surroundings, girls. I had always
scoffed at old maids, but that thought was
the beginning of a revelation to me. Since
that day, through avaried experience, I aave
decided that there are but few Maiden- ladies
who have not some story, "sweet though sad'
that they might tell you. Den'b be c pt:cal,
girls, but remember that beneath teat ro,
ther repelling exterior may be hidden a heart
filled with a memory only, but surrounded
by a love, stronger and deeper than any you
have ever experienced.
And so I. had my story. Frank was
dreamy, unworldly and generous to a fault,
and though he had his profession, he could
nevertarn enough to keep us comfortably,
so afte our families had talked it over, they
persuaded him to go away, thinking a fresh
start in a new place would help him. We
thought it hard, but absence only strength
ened the bond. The rest of my story it
short. He went to the war as surgeon.
While performing some operation,he incur-
red blood poisoning, and in a few days died.
Theneves, they thought, would kill me. It
did fief.. I kept my vow and thought of the
day under the apple tree.
Now I am just Prudence Praotioal ; pro-
fession, -Old Maid. Yet, to be an " Old
Maid "is far from unhappy, provided you
are blessed with that boon of providence,
good nature, that gives to the countenance
an air far more amiable than beauty. Now,
I hope you understand. I am not a (nabbed
old lady without a particle of romance ,or
sympathy for girl life in ma. No, I am not
thaw and whatever counsel or advice I give
you will be in proportions of two pars heart
felt sympathy to one of comrnon sense. Will
that emulsion be palatable, think you?
Sometime, when you thought yonr life
was to be linked with another by the strong
chain of love, by an interposition of the
divine hand all was changed, and you were
left with but a memory, and with your true,
strong girl's love you cling to that memory
and the love that filled your heart. Yet
you looked upon yourself as somewhat of s
martyr' did you not? And yoa seemed a
sort ofahadow in the home. Above all
things do not be that. Ace the pare of sun
shine inetead of the lowering clo ad, and if
you have made up your mind to be the
practical, common sense old maid, do so and
be happy. Don't examine and disouse your
own trials, dears, or you will never be -hap
py. Abie at alleviating those of others,
rather, and, strange to say, your own will
fade. Get up early some morning, or spare
a few minutes to read a few of Joseph Ad-
dison's essays on cheerfulness, mirth, good
nature, etc., and you will think tee time
well spent, and soon become as cheerful and
practical and even more so than your sincere
well wisher and adviser, Prudence Practical,
0. M., who hopes at some other time to
proffer you another dose of the prescrip
tion.
The Kairier's Fondness for the Navy.
Kaiser William's predilection for the Navy
has now become a byword. He loses no
opportunity for showing the officers and men
of his fleet that he wishes to secure for them
as privileged a position as thatealivays enjoy-
ed in Prussia by the army. Naval reviews
are now as popular in Germany, and there
seeros a probability of their becoming almont
as frequent, as military spectacle% Instead
of spending his summer et Ems, or some
other inland watering -place, the Kaiser in-
tends to trust to the saline breezte of the
deep for the annual restoration of health and
the recreation necessary after the hard work
of a Berlin winter. Soon after the departure
of hie guests, the King of Italy and the
Prince of Naples, the German monarch will
be steaming northwards along the coast ot
Norway. An amusing instance of the
Kaiser's fondness for everything naval oc-
curred the other day. The beautiful summer
weather enticen many hundreds of people to
spenlit few hours of the afternoon in the
shade of the pines of the extensive forest,
the Granewald. On the occasion referred
to, his Majesty, accompanied by two dis
anguished effieers, and attended by his es-
cort, was suddenly aeon approaching, and
the cry, "Der Kehler kommt," was heard
by some ladies and two little boys'one of
whom was in the full costume of a diminu-
tive British tar. The little fellow imme-
lately drew himself up, and saluted in true
sailor Wham, whilst the ladies curtseyed.
His Majesty returned the Wart in due form,
but wee so much impressed by the accuracy
of the little mite's uniform and his prompt
apprecietion of his duty, that he raised him-
self in his middle, and turned to leek back at
the little fellow, and the same time remark-
ing to the offioer on his right that each a eight
always affotdec1 him pleestire. The general
public are influenced by their Sovereign's
pail:lion for the sem and the premoters of the
ExhibitiOn for the Prevention of Amidente
have hung up in a ccrapicuous place a pic-
ture of His Majestystancling on the bridge
of the Hoheni
zollern n aclutirelea uniform
Attention to small things is the economy
of virtue. --(Dr. J. B, Molettrioh,
BY J. E. roe...Lome, B. A.
Art is a thing made, nature is a tiiing
created. Art Is the ernbodiraent of the
mind of man, nature is the embodiment of the
&m.amm. Ar . .
a ; e re the oluld of man, nig
ture is the,child of God. Art, being A thin
made by mam he can understand allies 'veil-
ed and complioated mechanism, but nature,
though so familiar to our every sense, in her
myetio naovemente her exceede the cm:0pr%
hension of our finite minds.
We know not the meohaniem of that won-
derful loom by which, So secretly and silent-
ly she weaves the green weba of her sum-
medress, and the many an4 delicate dyes
of her autumnal robes of glory. Like soine
celestial visitant her footatepe fall on the
cold dead lawn and lo 1 the grass grows
green and the leaven uafold, and the fiovvers
bloom. The foreat is eileet and seemingly
dead ; no foliage enfolds its skeleton limbs ;
no music teeounda in ita desolate courte ; jte
rills and its riven are still. Then conies
nature-aweeb, gentle, graceful, lightfoot-
edfair-formed nature. and her heart beats
Fat, for her blood is young and il3W9 with
magic swiftness through every fibre of her
being, till every hill and vale and shrub and
tree is mantled with her magic touch ;
she breathes on the ice -bound rivera
and rills and their waters are all unlock
ed; she cheats a melody ,se low, so
sweet that the feathered warblers return
from their Senthern groves to greet her.
Is it strange that heathen nations should
have vvorehipped this angelic being -this
handiwork of God?
Yet the atheist says there le no God 1 if
he thinks so, let him, after having studied
nature, account for these mysterious laws -
these secret workinge that' have baffled the
genius and the learning of every age and
nation. Let him discover not only in the
mysteries of the mighty Oinall alien which
the aun never seta; not alone in the terres-
trial sphere or the universe itself, but in
every blade of gase, every leaf, every flow-
er, the work of an incompreheneible infinite
Being. Men cannot even understand these,
far less cell into existence a simple atom of
matter.
But it is with the materials- that nature
has already provided that man labors. Na-
ture provides the material 'both for the hut
and the palace; for the light canoe of the
Indian, and for the iron clads of England;
for all the arts of peace and for all the en
gines of war.
In the Fine Arts, nature net only supplies
the material but often the model. In
eculpture and painting, art is dependent
upon nature for both material and copy;
and the genius of Praxitilea and oT Michael
Angelo, the skill of Raphael and Titian
only unfolded " inanimate nature," -life-
less matter, having the size, form and ex
pression, but lacking all the superior parte
that nature gives -the organizetion of life,
motion, seneation, reflection, et%
Art, then, is subordinate to Nature in all
essential parte and is wholly dependent upon
Nature, since Nature must provide the
material for every Art. Consider them in
regard to their beauty. Where does the
Artist find the richest tints, the finest grad-
ations of color, the most perfect arohetypee
of form and figure? Does the painter copy
from the sculptor, or the sculptor from the
painter, or do they both go to the fountain-
head and seek their model in nature? Is
the highest type of Beauty found in the
embodiment of man's ideas, or in the unfold -
Jugs of the divine Mind?
We look upon a beautiful landsoape paint
'Mg and we eee it a3 it is -a collection of
lights and shades. From these we judge of
the forms, figures and distances tie the ob
hicts in the pie:three, and we admire it the
more, the more theseobj sets resemble N %turn
It may be the faihiliar scenes of childhood
deeply imprinted, or impressions made on
the mind of the tourist, which hub for the
copy, would coon grow dim. In each case
we admire and praiae the copy. Bat it is
only a copy. Hovv different when we be.
bold Nature itself 1 It is then that we feel
the presence of the Almighty. Who can
look at a painting of the Fells of Niagara
with the same feelings as when his eyes be
hold that mighty Cataract which Gateau
briand, the Frenth poet, even heard with
feelingei of awein the dietant forest?
In beholding N.ture we drink in by
several senees the same scene. Thus the
realization is far more distinct; the impres
dons are deeper and more lasting. Wnen
we look upon the water, we not only see the
color but motion of the waves, and we hear
the rising and falling inflections of their
gentle murmur or their mighty swell. When
we look upon a garden or a landscape we
behold not only all the beauty of form and
figure and color that the artist gives to the
painting, but we may see motion in these,
and may hear the whispering winds, the
songs of bird, the murmuring of rippling
rills and eparkliug, fountains, and may drink
in at the seine time sweet perfumes borne to
ue epon the gentle breeze from livirg
fibwere.
It is this combination which Art leek
, -
that gives the charm to Naiure. It is Mile
combinatioa that gives it all its grand=
and sublimity. It is this combination thee
calls forth the emotions of the soul, infusing
pleesure or pein inspiring fear, terror,
wonder, admiration. How different arc
our feelings as we gaze upon a picture) of a
etorm at sea from those of the mariner who
beholds the vivid lightnings shooting
athwart the darkened vaults of heaven, who
hears the crashiug thunders of tho skies, and
Utile the violent rockings of the vessel
toning on the billows of the sea. The one
at moat calls forth our admiration as a
work of Art, the other at least mast inspire
awe an the work of Him "Who holds the
waters in the hollow of His hand."
A writer in a London journal calls ea-
tention to the unappreciated wise and preser-
vative qualities of soapstone, a material, he
says whioh posseeses what may be regard-
ed as extraordinary qualities in with
attending atmottpherio influences, those
especially which have eo much to do
with the corrosion of iron and steel ;
it being a well-known fact that the inside of
a ateatner which is not exposed to the action
of salt water, like the bottom, corrodes much
more quickly than the outside. le has, too,
an additional quality in thie line, one which
adapts it in remarkable degree as a protect-
ve point for ships,and this le the extreme
finenene of its grain ; indeed, ground soap.
atone is one of the finest meterials produce
ble, aud, from experiments made, ie is
found that no other material is capable of
taking hold of the fibre of iron and steel so
readily and firmly as this. It is also lighter
than metallic pigment% and on this amount
when mixed as a paint, is capable of cover-
ing a larger surface than zinc white, red
lead, or oxide of iron. In China, soapstone
has long been largely used for preeerving
struotures bat of sandstone and other
stones liable to crumble from the offset of
the atmosphere ; and the covering with
powdered soapetom in the form of [paint on
some obeliske in that country oompolied of
stone liable to atmospheric deteriotatieni
has been the memo oepteserving them intact
for hundreds of 'year%
Callada.
Now joyfully our voices We
With gladeome heertir Unite,
A strain to peur with sweetness oei.
Our loved Canadian life.
We love our dear Canadian home,
Its Mlle and valleYa green,
Tea boundless weeith In hidden stow,
And eaoh romantic WOO.
•
The glassy lakes, clear rolling dream,
And mountains towering high,
The valleys green that stoop between
Delight the wandering eye.
Amidst these varied noble scenes
Of natureat grandeur oft I reused,
My swelliug bout would form a theme
Which in expression all diffueed.
Ye woods and hills, sweet flowery dells,
For you my heart doth leap for joy,
And wealth with independency
We must retain, and not alloy.
What beauty in thy menes appear
As mattered homes among them shine,
Outstretching landsospes fax and dear
With fertile fields and wealthy mine.
Then let as all devoted be
And pledge the oath to our back -bone,
That as Canadians we will prove
True to our own Centedian home.
-T. ROWLEY.
I Love Tbee, 0, Thou Stormy Sea.
ERNEST E. LEIGEC.
I love thee, 0 thou etormy sea:
Thou'rt like my troubled heart;
Where waves of care dash everywhere
And wraok and ache and smart 1
I love thee, 0 thou gem -set sea
Thou'rt like a woman's heart;
Where beauties glow far down below,
Hid in the deepest pare 1
1 love thee, 0 thou sunset sea;
All glimmering with gold;
Thy glorious hue, is like the view
The pearly gates unfold.
I love thee, 0 thou moonlit see,;
Dim, glassy and serene;
Thy tranquil grace is like the face
Of memory, I ween.
--
My Friend.
BY ERNEST IteGAFFEY.
The old year fades in the far-off mist -t
new year follows it quickly -
As a billow sinks in the Spenith main
with a billow in its wake.
The old days die and are buried deep b
new days covered thiokly;
And never a hope was born that live
except for friendehip's sake.
For love limes out in a blaze of light like
carnet's transient motion
As it fleshes past through the halls o
night and illuminates the skies. •
Bat the light of friendehip still endures, a
lives within the ocean
The steadfast flow of the Gulf Stream'
course, whose ptogress never dies.
No music sounds like a true friend's voice,
no words like Ms words of greeting
For they come to the heart] welcom
guests, and are breasured one by one
And their cadence meet in after days th
soul keeps on repeating,
As a heap once touched will nibrate still
though the minstrel's song is done.
eci I turn to you, dear friend of mine, 'mid
the changes ever thronging,
• For friendship laets through the old and
new, as gold in the midst of droop.
I ask not love with its bitter-sweet 'o.nd its
hopeless voice of loriging,
That echoes back the forsaken cry of Christ
upon the cross.
The old year melts in the sea of time, the
new years swiftly follow,
As a billow sinks in the Spanish main
with billows in its wake.
And though there is anneh on the broad
earth that is feline andfrail and hollow,
There are men and vromen living yet who
Would die for friendship's same.
--neere-aesteasite-ni
About the Shah.
The Shah is going to England virithont a
grey. hair, after a reign more nearly approach.
big in duration to thee of Her Mejester than
thaa of any other Sovereign of Europe or
Asia. In his Imperial Majesty's dominion%
writes the London correspondent of the Man
cheater Guardian, grey hair is by praotioally
universel euetom prohibited. Travellers agree
that this mark of age is never exhibited in
Persia. The choice' when greyness appears is
ebetween a raven black and that state of red
which is nenally associated with the use of
leiter:Me. It is usual for Persian monarchs at
any ago to have black hair and beard, but
whether the moarch has a beard or not uo
Court painter would venture to make a port.
mit of his Majesty without a well-developed
black beard. The only witness of geographi
cal knowleige the Shah has in his Palace a
Teheran is a 12-inoh globe, upon which the
Parte of the world are set out in jewels of
various colours -England with rubies, India
With diamonds and the sea with emeredda.
he
a
1
In the Romantic Riviera.
Half the enchantment of Italy is gone
when we lose sight of the Mediterranean,
says a correspondent. It is along the shore
of that sapphire me, that the romance and
blee glamour of Italian landscape are to be
found. There are spots between San Ramo and
Bordighera, between Monte Carla and Nice,
whioh make the soul ache with their loveli-
ness, saddened almost to despair by an ideal
beauty which eitema to accentuate the ugliness
of life; and it is only with this sea for a fore-
ground of the picture that the light and col-
or of the South can be felt in all their ex-
guisite variety. Rome thrills and vibrates
with the spectral past, a city of fountains and
phantoms; Florence is a vast repository of
art; Venice is a dream of vanished great.
nem carved in stone and glorified with fres-
coes that are vast and wonderful as any
dream; but the western Riviera is a happy
holiday ground whioh nee,ven hs e lefb to ma.
kind out of a long -lost fairyland.
Ready to Take His Medicine.
"Did I ever say all that ?" he asked des-
pondently, as he replaced the phonograph
on the corner of the maul &picot'.
"You did."
"And you oan grind it out of thab ma.
chine whenever you olaoose ?"
" Certanily.
" And your father is a awyer ? '
"Yes."
"Mabel, when on I piste the ring on
yotir finger and call you my wife ?"
www
The "penny in the aloe" machine must
have Teethed its culmination in that invent-
ed by a Mr. Engelbert, which, after the
prescribed reel° has been compliet1 with, will
take your photographfinish Ib, and drop it
out already framed.
BRITISH NEWS.
The latest railway signal indicates auto
matically the time that has elapsed, up t
twenty minutes, since the laeb train paesed
it.
The opinion ie expressed that if all that ie
promised by recent applications in the um
of water gas be verified, eleotrio lighting Will
be outrivalled both in cleeapness and beauty
of light).
A new work on a Century of Muni°
in England" draws the interesting contrast
hebvveen the time when Lard Cneaterfield
warned his son against being a fiddler, even
in the amateur some, and the present, when
a prince of royal Wool is the most noted
amateur in England.
The Sir John Lewes who has just given
$500,000 for the promotion of agriculture in
Eogland is the father of the sculptor who
figured conspicuously in the famous Belt -
Lewes suit. Sir John is one of the beat
living authorities on farming. Despite his
vase wealth he is a man of plain and simple
habits.
The Suffolk Coroner has held, an inquiry
into the death of Robert Brandon, a labor-
er. -The dimmed With other men went out
early one morning in search of pheasant's
eggs, one of which deceased sucked. He
died shortly afterwards in great agony. LI
was found that the ego hact been poisoned
with strychnine, and laid about the grounds
for the purpose of killing vermin. Ib is
stated that Colonel Mackenzie has since
undertaken to give the wife of the deceased
108 a week for life. -The jury returned
a verdiob of " Death from Misadventure."
In 1566 Henry Irving stood on the stage
of a theatre at Liverpool wondering what he
should do in the summer months when the
theatre would be closed and he would be
left without an engagement dr a shilling.
A letter was brought to him from[
lion
Boucioault, offering him a part in ae, new
play and asking his terms. 'Six pounds a
week.'- he wrote and added that he hoped
the part was a good one. The answer was
characteristic "Dear sir ; the part is a
good one. The eatery is more than lin-
tended giving, but I never bargain with an
artist. Yours, Dion Bouoicault. '
The Archbishop of Canterbury has written
a letter to the English Presbyterian Synod,
In which he eaid he was requested by the
Bishops lately in conference to send a copy
of the encyclical letter issued by the Con-
ference. The letter was to the effect that
the authorities of the various branches of the
Anglican Communion hold themselves in
readiness to enter into fraternal conference
with the representatives of the other Chria-
tia.n communions in the English speaking
races, in order to consider what steps oould
be taken, either toward corporate reunion
or toward such relations as might preface
the way for fuller organic unity hereafter.
To this Principal Dykes of the Synod sent a -
reply, in which he said thab he would bring
the matter to the notice of the Church which
he represented. The Synod approved of
this course, and deferred any further action
in the matter in the mean time.
NORTH -WT SETTLEMENT,
tee panison instituted tern eve
° urtire'd States and Canada.
The Dominion Statistician writes the fol.
lowieg letter to the Ottawa Citizen :
"Sia, -In consequence of en interview
published in your journal, several oorree-
pondente have written tae aekirg two qua,.
tions ; let. Why Caneda's Northeweet has
nob itteremed in population ati rapidly as the
Uoited States domain? 2ed, Why the
farmers of the United S eites tee a body, are
in less prosperous circumstances than the
farmers of Oatario
r did not bargain for so much additional
work when the interview W(1S published,
but the 'questions aro important ono,. and
it would III become me to ehirk them, m the
oircumetauces. Will you, therefore, kindly
give me space in your next issue to Waimea
the first question ?
First, I ask is it so ? Now, how shall we
go to work to find opt? Well, the proper
Ivey, it seems to me, is to examine the re
porde. Theee show that the United States
formed a Union in 1787; that by 1789 thir-
teen States had ratified the othastitution and
semmed a President. These thirteen States
had their metes and bounds. Some of them
oast off portions of their territory to form
new States -as 1Waseachusetts, out of which
Maine was carvel, and Virginia, out of whioh
West Virginia and Tenneesee were formed.
Other outlying regions were purohasedi or
otherwise obtained, as Californie, Louisiana
and Texas, The remainder formed the un
organized territory, to which settlement was
to be directed, just as our Manitoba and
North-west Terr itories beim constituted,
since July, 1870, the region in which we
Canadians have had to try our hand at
oWonizing.
To flad out which country eettled its out-
lying territory the more rapidly, we may
take the first 23 years of the United States'
possession of their outlying domain and the
development of that domain with the deve-
lopment whioh has taken place in our
North-west during Canada's nineteen years
posseesion of her outlying territory. This
is hardly fair to Canada because it gives the
United States four years longer for their
efforts then it gives Canada, But we have
the record, supplied by their own hand, of
the population in 1810. We will give the
United States the advantage of tour years
longer record than we can give Canada, and
we will say nothing about it.
At the end of the first 23 years (from 1787
to 1810) Alabanae,, Arkansas, Indiana., Mk-
higan, Florida, Missouri, Arizona, Dakota,
Idaho, Montana, New Mexico, Utah, Wash
ington, Wyoming, Iowa, Illinois, Kamm,
Minnesota, Nebraska, Nevada, Oregon, Wis
oonsin and Colorado (which States and Ter-
ritories eomprise the unoccupied domain of
the original States at the time of their
union) had a population of 62,409 all told,
The four million people in the original State,
had managed in twenty-three yearato plants
colonies throughoub their outlying domain,
aggregating a population of 62.409 souls.
Now, what has Canada done in the nine-
teen years of her poseession of the North-
west? Teking the population in 1871, we
had within our borders 3 600,000 souls -four
hundred thousand fewer than the United
States when they began colonizing operations
in their outlying public domain. The 3,600,-
000 persons have secured for Manitoba and
the North west in nineteen years a white
population of 180,C00 sous. In a word, we
have numaged our colonizetlon plans so well
that we have in nineteen years beaten the
United States, record of twenty-three years,
three to ono. Where they planted one set-
tler, we have planted three.
In the face of these feats I cannot agree
with tame correspondenis who, by askiog
why Canada ham nob increased taw North-
west population as rapidly ah the United
States' outlying regione increased, imply
that she has not. We have been very rauch
more successful than our neighbors, and
there are the records to show it.
the
Talking Goods Up in a Clever, Forcible
Wan.
"Never let a customer go away without
making a purchase,' said Mr. Threads to a
newly engaged clerk. "Talk the geode up
in a clever, forcible way and you'll be certain
to make a sale every time."
"All right," replied Fearless Gall, the new
clerk, who had been an auctioneer for a year
out West, "I think I know just what you
mean, sir, ane you can rely upon nee. I
know the Woke of the trade."
Ten minutes later he was going on in this
fathion to Mrs. Marahalle Neale, one of
the wealthiest and most aristocratic patrons
of the house:
"Damask towels, is Da madam ? Well, I
should smile 1 It you can'b get damask
towels hero, there's no place in this city
where you can get 'ern. Look at that towel,
my friend ! Doesn't it fairly warm your heart
to look at it, oh? And just glenoe at this
pair,- marked down from four dollars to a
dollar and ten cents. Doenn't it fairly make
you look young again to geze on a bargain
like that ? And suppose you just concentrate
your intellectual capacity en this towel for a
second 1 A -ha! makes you fairly held your
breath to gaze on be doesn'e it? Did you
ever see anything mere perfectly irresistible
since you was born into this world of sin and
sorrow? Of course, yon never did. Oh, it's
a cold day when this firm gets left on damask
towels I hook at this ono-loek at it, wo-
man; it won't bite you; now, tell me'tell
me if you ever bought a towel like that for
less than two dollars, Of comae, you didn't 1
You've paid that for dish bowels, and thank-
ed Heaven for the irivilege of doing so,
haven't you? Course you have, sweet fnend
of my childhood dap! 1"
Mr. Threads happened along just in time
to have his blood curdled by this last remark,
and also in time to ambit the gasping and
and livid Mrs. Marshalle Neale to her oar-
riege where she bade him adien for ever,
and tee° minutes later he was going through
the same ceremony with Mr. Fearless Gall.
.1•11.
Cautioned, That's All.
Hasband-" Don't worry, my dear, if I
get home a trifle late momionally, now that
I've joined the Athletic Club. I used to be
a great athlete when I was a boy, you know,
and it seems like renewing my youth to go
through with the old exercises again."
Wile-" No, John, I won't, but when you
get home at 2 A. M., as you did this morn-
ing, please don't renew your youth by stand-
ine on your head in the front porch, nor
climbing , through the transom, become° ib's
apb to create remark, you know -that's all,
dear."
wersionee-...
A Distinguished Oharaoteristio.
'Speakin' of twins," said the old man
()bumpkins, "There was two boys raised in
our neighborhood that looked just alike till
their dym' day% Lem didn't have any
teeth, and him brother Dave did, but they
looked prin.-dimly alik a all the same. The
only way you oould tell 'em apart wan to put
your finger in Lem's mouth, and if he bit
yer 'twits Dave."
The doer of a secret sin supposes it is he
they are talking about,- [L. C. Sbarkel.
It is a solemn thought with the middle
aged that life's last business is begun in
earnest.- [L. D. Rithardnon.
A society named the Army Floral AS80-
dation has been formed in London for the
stele of fiewers in the street by discharge.
soldiers of good oharaoter. Barrows are to
be eupplied to the mereenrolled, ate conatruotd
ed that the flowers will be protected from
the weather and kept parte:ley Reale Eaoh
man employed willreceive 2e 6c1 a day, with
a commission on all he sells over a certain
um.
The Omaha Herald thus apostrophises the
coming of the flannel shirt :--" Garment'
through which the summer winds love to
stray, you are thrice welcome 1 Come with
your soft folds, which irritate not ; oome
with your wide, comfortable collar and gen-
eral rollioking air. Next) to a vacation heal
Is the pleasure and comfort to be derived
from a vacation garment, the flannel shirt."
Yours, etc.,
GEORGE JOHNSON.
Jogging His Memory.
A clergyman in Iowa relates the following
anecdote, which, as he trap, ought to be a
hint to all -oouplee who are going to be
married. A laiy celled upon him aria an-
nonnoed her name as Mrs. M—, a widow
living in a distant pare of the State. Her
hueleand had been killed in the Civil War,
and she had applied for a pension. But it
was necessary for her to prove her marriage.
This she had not been able to do, as her
marriage certificate was lost, and all the
witnesses, except the minister himself, were
dead.
She had come a long distance to get the
minister's evidence, insisting upon it that he
was the person who had ptrformr1 rthe
ceremony.
"But I do not remenaber anything about
ib, madam," said the minister, after listening
carefully to the woman's story. " I have
married hundreds of people ia the last
twenty years, and I cannot reoall your case
at all."
"Why, you must remember that eveniug.
I wore a travelling suit, and my husband
was a tall man with black whiskers."
"I have married a,great many tall men
with black whiskerae
"But don't you remember, we came in
while you wore at supper, tend you milted us
to wait in the parlor a few minutes ?"
"I don't remember it."
" Don't you recall how my husband was
very much embarraesed, and during the
ceremony knocked a vase off the tabie near
which we were standing? And then he
apologized right in the middle of the service,
and we all laughed about it afterwarde"
"1 don't remember even that. Other
things like it have happened since. Can't
you name something else ?''
Other little things were mentioned, and
the clergymen hunted up all his old letters
and journals in hopes of discovering some-
thing that would recall the ceremony, and
enable him truthfully to identify the widow.
But all in vain.
Finally, the lady, with some hesitation
and confusion, said: "There is one thing
that 1 am sure you cannot) have forgotten.
My husband had driven over from the nerd)
town. In hie absent mindedness he had
left every cent of money at home.
"Now, don'b you remember that after
the ceremony be came up to you as if to
hand you the regular fee, and then, instead
of doing thet, he stammered and blushed,
and finally asked you to lend him five dollen
with which to pay his hotel bill, promising
to return the money the next day. Surely
you inuat remember that 1"
" Ah,yes, inclee I, I remember that very
well f' exclaimed the minister, And be
could not help adding, "1 haven't men the
money yeb."
The widow received her pension shortly
afterward and not longafter that, the minis-
ter received a ten -dollar bill, withthe words:
'Peymenb for a good memory."
Ib costs us inore to be mieereble than
would make eel perfeetly happy,-eDt. 11,
M. Wilder.
Lem to Economize.
Triels are seldom without their oompoloa..-
done. When the &throes' produce re high,
and prices flash, carelessness and exttavai
ganoe inevitably results. This is the time
when man's judgment ia warped and hire
vision blinded. He is thrown off his guard.
He indulger, in extravagant bargains and
cerelesely contreeets clot% Then whem
closer times come, large debts hewn to be
peicl with low pricee for labor and produce.
The present thne is favorable for calculating
economy end enforcing a moral.
Then let our readers recollect that aman:
is happier in hie old house with cramped
conveniences, than he dam be in a large man-
sion with a heavy mortgage on it Or n
Family can go to chureh in a farm wagon as
easily, and worahip more dew. utly than they
min with a fine carriage with a mortgage on
the carriage and horses, especially if it be
just after harvest and the chinch bugs have
taken all their grain. If in the farm wag-
on, they would not be embarrasaed if they
should meet old Silverhorn, who generally
has the chattel mortgages on fine kerma and
carriages. Stick to the old house and wag-
on, and to a olear conscienoe, and a happy
mind, until you have the money and spare
oash to build and to buy.
It is not generally the best policy to bor-
row money to buy more land, and give in
mortgage on tlae new land and the old farm.
Entereat eats like ta oarker-it devours day
and night ; ie rests not for oold or hent; it
spares not the high or the humble -it eats
on forever, and cries for more. He that be
caught in its meehes is not wise.
Now is the time to learn -and to learn it
so well you will never forget -that one
hundred bushels of corn can be raieed ars
easily on one acre as on three with ono -half
the labor. 11 11 a good time to have the fact
ground into all the sensee, that three hundred
pounds of pork can now be made for half the
cost in eight mom bets that your father took
thirty years ago to make in eighteen months.
And this a good time to learn, and to prac-
tice a aoore of other pracrical lessons, which
you will never learn when the produces of
the farm:are extravagantly high. Thousand
of families are made unhappy by recklemly
°entreating debts when times are flush, for
matters of mere show, whioh 'add little or
nothing to the comfort, eonvenience or re-
spectability of the ft:wily. Then ace -tab oft
the present time as the most favorable op.
portunity to seek practical wiedem, and to
instill into your family those true lemons of
economy, and to learnfrom whence ti ue eon-
tentment comes.
How Crop Reports Are .Made
Now that the system of gathering crop,
reports and making estimates, as used by
the Government, is being adopted by the,
several Stater, giving uniformity throughout
the country, it may be interesting to therm
who read these reports from time to time,,
to know on what basis they are made.
The instructions to local reporters, are
given by the Statistician of the United
States Department of Agriculture, are as
follows: One hundred is made the unit of
measure or basis on which estimates are
made, and any increase or decrees9 freM
that is represented by percentage. An in --
crease of one-tenth means a ten per cent; in-
crease and is represented by 110. A de-
crease ot one -twentieth means a five per.
cent decrease and is represented by 95.
In comparisons of area with that of the •
previous crop, 100 represents the acreage
of the previous year. As to products, the
question may be in reference to the present
yield as compared with thet of the previous s
year, or it may refer to an average yielder
100 being tho basis in each case. In re -
porta of "condition" of growing crops, 100
is the standard of full condition, repreeent-
ing perfect healthfulness, exemption from
trjury, from insects or drouth, or other
clue% with average growth or development.
Condition of crop can never go above 100,
except' froni ono cause, unusual or extra-
ordinary development and vigor of plant_
which more than counter -balances any de-
fioiency in stand or other loss." Any irjury-
from wnatever cause, is estimated as suck a
per cent or part of 100 and is subtracted
from 100. To illustrate: If a correapond-
enb estimates that the wheat, crop in the
section far whioh he is repenting had beete
injured by chinoh bugs, so that the condi-
tiou is not so good by one-fourth as it
would otherwise have been, he will, if there
is no other injury, zeport the condition aa
being seventy-five per cent, twentwfive per
cent or one forth below what the condi-
tion would have been had there been no in-
ury. If othor causes, such as bad condi-
tions at seeding time winter killing, drenthe
etc., have affected "the Condition so that
a result of all the iejuries it is, only one-
half as good as it would otherwise have
been, it is represented by fifty -
Entombed Three Thousand Years Azo.
A letter from Naples says : While some re.
pairs were lately being made under a house
belonging to Baron di Donato, which is eitu-
ated in the northern quarter of the city, to-
wards the slope of the hill of Cape di Monte, -
where already many ancient catacombs have'
beenfound, a door way (over which there in
a, marble relief of the head of Mecham) was
eiscovered leading into a subterranean cham-
ber. Along the centre of this chamber
runs a Mosaic pavement, and on each aide
there is a double row of sepulchres hewn in
the recle, the 'fronts of which are stuccoed
and painted and decorated with terra cotta
and marble reliefs. Within the tombewere
perfect: skeletons, vases, and other objects,
the antique lamps being in such good condi-
tion that April 18, when this new find was,
impacted by a party of German arebaeolo-
este, the workmen made use of bhem to light
-
up the vaults. The rnanyiwell preserved in-
scriptions are chiefly in Greek, with mime in,
Latin, and prove that the epoch of these
tombs was about 1,000 B. C. Other bombe
in a seeond chamber have not yet been exca-
vated. It is probable that (hie subterranean
dwelling of the dead may extend some dis-
tance and prove to be a portion of a large
necropolis.
Mrs. Garfield's Fortune.
The rothecription raieed for Mrs. Garfield
through the inetrumentality of Cyrus W.
Field aggregated, when invested in G overn-
trient bonds, About $312,000, General
Garfield's life was insured for $50,003, the
payment of which the companien, for the sake,
of the extended advertisernent it woUld give
them, for BO other purpose, promptly made.
Congress also voied the etnainder of the
eatery which would have been due Gen,
Garfield for the drat year of service an
President, whioh ameunbed to $40,000:
The litte estate whioh Garfield left ag-
gregated some $30,000. Thiel was all that
he had been able to accumulate leiter a Hie
of untimal activity. This inakee her total
estate, in round ill:lumber% about $450,000
in money well inveetei. From tide an
daTie ile:nadi:suimde arf oleo ri 1°13:uee on: earti°bhobnl eat: finol,hYtitill$1:65e0:r01:af:rs,c from ws cure hinove irdsa; as netnoIwennl
voted to the veidows 6/ all ex.Preddents.
A. Garfield's death.-401eveland Plaint