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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1888-9-13, Page 7(4, 1,ROUGH1NG IT IN THE BUSH,1' CHAPTER Joe Ann His had purchesecl the farm of Old Satan, load brought Captain S--- over to inspeet the the Piss daegeroui fn."; 3helLeitruin on' Ile winch in that neighborhood. With some difnculty An, Tour rogue Is s laughing rogue ond not a whit land as he wished to buy v. farm, and eettle ith ht nob at ed ut he eat re ncl _fel! ld re - co. we oe in - at re er r. n- or he he It er ld he er Bt ot 0, ft of ot 's he Y, ts ir a g, a 1 • comes net from an honest heart, whrsh reflects the light of the emu through the eye, Ail hOliOW gj vdthin ; and the contortion , the up, like she phosphoric glow upon decayed timber, platy serves to point out the totteenees within. Uncle Joe 1 1 see him now before me, with his jelly red, face, twinkling intent eyes, and rubiound ;lose. No thin weasel - faced Yankee waft he, looking as if he had lived upon 'cute ideas and epeculations all hie life,; yet Yankee he vras by birth, ay, and in mind, too ; fpr a mole knowing fellow at •a bargain never crossed the taken to abuse British inseitutions and locate himself colon fortebly eaniong the despised Britislaere. But, thenebe had swab. good.natured, fat face, etiolate miaohievous, mirth -loving emile, and such a merry, rognieh expression in those smallejet-black, glittering eyes, that you Buffered yoorself to be taken in by him, without offering the least resistance to his impositions.' Uncle Joe's father had been a New Eng- land loyalist, and his doubtful Attachment to the British Government heel been repaid • by a, grant of land in the townehip of He was the firat settler in that township, and chose his locution in a remote epot, for the sake of a beautiful natural spring, whieh bubbled Uplin a Brasil ittone basin in the green bank at the back of the house. "Fattier might have had the piok of the township," ,quoth Uncle Joe; "but the old •coon preferred that sup of good water to the site of a town. Well, 1 guess it's Flekken trouble the 'spring ; and whenever I step that way to water the horses, I think what a tornado): fool the old One 'WAS, to throw away such a •thance of making hie fortnne, for such cold lap," "Your father was a temperance man?" "Temperance 1—He had been fond enough of the whiskey bottle in hie day. He drank up a good farm in the United States, and then he thought be could not do better than turn loyal, and get one here for nothing. He did not care.cacent, not he, for the King of England. He thought himself as good, as anyhow. But he found that he would have to work hard here to scratch along, and he was naightily plagued with the rheumatics, and some old woman told him that good apring water was the beet cure for that; so he chows this poor, light', stony. land on ac- count of the epring, and took to hard work and drinking cold water in his old age." " HOW did thechange agree with him ?" "1 guess better than could have been ex- peoted. Re planted that fine orchard, and cleared his hundred aeree, and we got along slick enough as long as the old fellow lived." " And what happened after his death, that obliged you to part with your land ?" "Badttimes—bad crops," said Unale Joe lifting his shoulders. "1. had not my father's View • of scraping money togetner. I made acme deuced clever •speculations, but they ail failed. I married young, and got a large family.; and the women critters ran up , heavy bills at the stores, and the crops did not yield enough to pay ahem; • nd teem bad we got to • worts, and Mr. B pub in an executionand seized upon the 'hole concern. He sold it to your man for double what it cost hien ; and you got all that my father toiled for during the last twenty years of his life for less than half the cash he laid out upon clearing it ?" " And had the whiskey nothing to do e•weith this change ?" said I looking him in the faoe suspiciously. "Not a -bib 1 When a man gets into difficultieseit is the only thing to keep him from sinking outright. When your hus• - band has had as many troubles as I have had, he will know how to value the whiskey bottle." • This converaation was interrupted by a queer -looking urchin of five years old, dressed in a long tailed coat and trousers, poppirg his black shock in at the door, and calling out, " Unole Joe !—You're wanted to hum." "In that your nephew?" "No!I guess 'tie my woman's eldeet son," said Uncle Joe, rising, " but they call me Uncle Joe. 'Tis a epry chap that —as cunning as a fox. I tell you what it is— he will meke a •smart man. ,Go' home, Ammon, and tell your ma that I am com- ing. $1 " won't," said the boy; "yon may go hum and tell her yourself. She has wanted wood cut this hour, and you'll catch it V' • Away ran ihe dutiful son, but not before he had applied • his forefinger eignificantly to the side of his nose, and, with a knowing wink, pointed in the direction of home. Uucle Joe obeyed the sigual, drily remark- ing that he could not leave the barn door without the old hen clucking him back. • At this period. we Were still living in Old Satan's log house, and anxiously looking out for the first snow to put us in possession • of the good substantial log dwelling occu- pied by Uncle Joe and hie faintly, which consisted of a brown brood of seven girls, and the highly -prized boy who rejoiced in the extraordinary name of Ammon. Strange names are to be found. in this free country. • What think you, gentle reader, of Solomon Sly, Beynevrd Fox, Hiram Dolittle, and Prudence Fidget; all veritable names and belonging to subetantialyeomen ? After Ammon and lohabod, I should not be at all surprised to meet with Judas lecariot, Pilate, and Herod. And then the fereale appelations 1 But the subject is a delicate one, and I will forbear to touch upon it. I have enjoyed many a hearty laugh over the strange affectations which people designate here very handsome names. I prefer the old • homely Jewish names, such as that which it • pleased ray godfather and godmothers to bestow on me, to one of those high-sounding ohristianities, the Minervas, Cinderellas, Almerias of Canada. The love of singular names is here carried to a marvellous ex- tent. • It was only yesterday that, in dueling throtigta one busy village, 1 stoped in as- tonithinent before a tombstone headed thus; --"Sacred to the memory of Silence Sharman, beloved wife of Asa Sherman." Was the woman deaf and dumb, or did her friends hope by bestowing upon her tuth an impossible natne,tb still the voice of Nature, and check by an admenitary appellative, the active *hit that lives in the tongue of woman? Truly, Aga Sharmae, if thy wife was silent by name as well as by nature, thou Wert a fortunate man I But to return to Thiele doe, Ade. inAde many fair promisee ot leaving the residenee we had bought, the moments he had sold hie evens and could remove his family. We Could SOO no intense which eould be served lty his deceiving ue, and therefore we be lieved him, ,strivieg, to melte ourselves as comfortable an we Chttld in the meitetiree itt our present wtetched abode. But mentere are nevet eco bad but that they May be woree. One day when we were at. dihner, waggon dtove up to the door, and Mr. --- alighted, accompanied by a finelookieg, --middle-aged tnen, who *proved to be Captain 5—n-, who had arrived from Demerara With his wife and family, who contrived to acoommc dune the visitors w seats and provide them with a totem dinner, Fortunately, Moodie had broug tn a brace et rfine fat partridges that MO ing; these the wervant transferred to a of boiling water, in wliich the immers them for the space of a minute—a novel b very empedttious way of removing ,t feathers Which then come off at the le touch: 'In less than ten minutes, they we stuffed, trussed and bathe bake -kettle; a before the gentlemen returned from walki over the farm, the dinner eras on the tab • To our utter consternation, Captain 5 agreed to purchase, and asked if we ecu give itim Poesession in a week! "Oood rheaven 1" cded I, glancing proaohfully at Mr. ---, who was diseuesi his partridge with stoical indifferen What will become of ua ? Wenre are to go ?" "Oh make youreelf ;easy; I will for that old witch Joe's mother to clear out." • "But 'till impoesible to stow ourselves to that pigaity." " It will only be for a week or two, fartlaest , Tlais October; Joe will be su to be off by the fret of sleighing." "But if she refines to give up the place • leave her to me. • I'll talk h ever," said the knowing land speculate Lt it come to the womb," he said, tur ing to my lausband, "ho will go ottt f the sake of a few dollars. By -the -by, e refused to bar the dower when I bought t place : met etvjole her out of that, is aline afternoon; suppose we walk ov the hill, and try our luck with the o I felt so anxious about the result of t . . negottatton that, throwing my cloak ov my shoulders, and tying on my bonnet wit out the assistance of a glass, I took m husbandnearm, and we walked forth. It was a bright, .elear afternoon, the fir week in October and the fading woods, n yet, denuded Of their gorgeoue foliag glowed in a mellow, golden light. A so purple haze rested on the bold outline the Haldimand hills, and in the rugge beauty of the wild landscape I soon forg the purport of our visit to the old woman log hut. On reaching the ridge of the hill, t lovely valley in which our future home la Broiled peacefully upon us from amidst i fruitful orchards, still loaded with the rich, ripe fruit. " What a pretty plaoe it is!" thought for the first time feeling something like local interest in the spot springing up my heart "How I wish those • °diet people would give us possession of the hoza which for some time has been our own 1" The log hut that we wore approachin and in which the old woman, B,--, r sided by herself—having quarrelled year ago with her son's wife --was of the smalles dimensions, only containing one room which served the old dame for kitohen, an bed -room and all. The open door, and few glazed panes, supplied it with light an sir; while a huge hearth, on which cracskle two enormous logs—which are technical' termed a front and a back stiok—took u nearly half the domicils; and theold wo mann bed, which was covered with an un exceptionably clean patched quilt, nearl the other half, leaving just room for a sinal home-made deal table of the rudest work rnanahip, two basswood -bottomed chair stained red, one of which WAS a rocking chair, approPriated solely to the old wo man's use, and a spitining-wheel. Anaids this muddle of things—for small as was th quantum of furniture, it was all crowde into such a tiny space that you had t squeeze your way through in the bes manner you could—we found the old wo man, with re red Cotton handkerchief tied over her grey looks, hood -fashion, shelling white buth-beans into a wooden bowl Without rising trout her seat, she pointed to the only terming chair. "1 guess, miss you can sit there • and if the others can' stand, they can make a seat of my bed." The gentlemen assured her that they were not tied, and could dispense with seats. Mr. -- then went up to the old a omen and proffering his hand, asked after her health in his blandest manner. " Pm none the better for seeing you or the like of you," was the ungracious reply. "You have cheated -my pcor boy out of his good farm.; and I hope it may prove a bad bargain to you and yours." "Mrs. R —," returned the land specu- lator, nothing ruffled by her unceremonious greeting, "1 could not help yonr eon giving way to drink, and getting into my debt. If people will be so imprudent, they cannot be so stupid as to' imagine that others can antler foe their folly." "Seer!" repeated the old woman, fie,sh- ing her small, keen, black eyes upon him with a glance of withering scorn. "You suffer 1 I wonder what the widows and, or- phans you have cheated would say to that? My non was a poor, weak, silly fool, to be sucked in by the like of you. For a debt of eight hundred dollars—the goods never cost you four hundred—you take from uin our good farm; and these, I s'pose," pointing to my husband and me, "are the folk you sold it to. Pray mien" turning quickly to me, "what might your man give for the place ?" "Three hundred pounds in cash." "Poor sufferer 1" again sneered the hag. "Pour hundred dollen is a very mann pro. fit in. as Many weeks. Well, I guess, you beat the Yankees hollow. And pray, what brought you hero today, scenting about you like a melon -crow ?, We have no more land for you to sieze from us." • • Moodie nowstepped forward,and briefly explained our situation, offering the old woman anything in reason to give up the cottage and reside with her son until he re- moved from tbe pre nines; which, he added, must be it a very short time, The old dame regarded him with a BM' MOHO smile. "1 guess Joe will take his own time, The hottse is not built which is to receive hum; and he is not the man to turn his back on a warm hearth to camp hi the wilderneta. You were green when you bought a farm of that min without getting along with it the right of poseeesicm, Bat, Mrs. R -----n, yout son promised to go out the first of sleighing." "Wheugh 1" said the old woman. 4i Would you have a man give away his hat mid leave his own head bars? It's neither the first snow nor the last frost that will turn Joe out of his comfortable home. I tell you all that he will stay here, if it is only to plague p7w:lattl'ecti: e eine:deg old fox "And now, what will yeti give me to leave my Threate and remonetronces were alike we less, the old Woman remained inexotable ; arid we were just turtling to leave the hone°, "Twelve dollars, if s'�u give us preens - siert next Monday," said my husband. " Twelve dollars t tgoso you won't get me out for that," "The rent would not be worth more than a dollar a month," said Mr. --- pointing with his cane to the delapidated "Mr. Mocidie has offered eou a year's rent for the plaoe." - "It may not be worth a cent," returned the woman; "for it will give everybody the rheumatism that stays a week in it— but it is worth that to me, and MOTO nor double that jusb now to him. Bat I will ) not be hard with him," centime(' ehe, rock- ) ing herself to and fro. "Say twenty don lar, and I will turn eat on Monday." "1 dare sayyou will," said Mr. —2-, "and whe do you think would be fool enough to give you such an exorbitant sum for a ruined old shed like thie "Mind your own business and make your own bargains," returned the old woman, tartly. "The devil himself could not deal with you, for I guess he would have the wont of it, What do you sant sir ?" and she fixed her keen eyes upon toy husband, as if the would read his thoughts. Will you agree to my price "It is a very high one, Mrs. R—; but an I cannot) hal p myself, and you take ad- vantage of that, I suppone I must give it." a bargain oried the old crone, holding out her hard, bony hand. "Come, .caeli down 1" " Not until you give me possession on Monday next; or you might serve me aa your son has done.' " Ha 1" said the old woman, laughingand rubbing her hands together; "you begin to see daylight, do you? In a few months, with the help of him," pointing to Mr. ---, "you will be able to go along; but have a oare of your teacher, for it's no goocl that you will learn from him. But will you teedly stand to your word, mister?" she added, in a coaxing tone, "if I go out on MondayV' " To be sure I will; I never break my word." • "Well I guess you are not so clever as our people, for they only keep it as long as it suits there. You have an honest look; I will truet you ; but I will not trust him," nodding to Mr. "he can bny and sll his word aa fast as a horse can trot. So on Monday I vrill turn out my taps. I have lived here six•andtthirty years; 'tis &pretty place, and it vexes me to leave it," continued the poor creature, asa touch of natural feeling softened and agitated her world.. burdened heart. "There is not an acre in cultivation but that I helped to clear it, nor a tree in yonder orohard but I held it while my poor man, who is dead and gone, planted it; and I have watched the trees bud from year to year, until their boughs overshadow- ed the hut, where all my ohildren, but Joe, were born. Yea, I came here young, and in my prime; and must leave it in age and poverty. My children and husband are dead,and their bones red beneath tne i turf n the burying -ground on the side ot the hill. Of all that once gathered about my knees, Joe and his young ones alone re- main. And it is hard, very hard, that I must leave their graves to be turned by the plough of a stranger." (TO BB COiTTINIJED.) The Face in the Looking -Glass, BY jOSEPRINE POLLARD. The little Mamie, Namely three y.ears old, Dwelt near the prairie, where the wends blow cold, In a log cabin very plain and neat, With kitchen, parlor, bedroom, all complete Within one room. And o'er the mantel -shelf Hung the small looking -glass. And so it came to pass The little maid had never seen herself. She knew not if her eyes were brown or blue, Or how her hair along her temples grew, Or if she looked like mother when she sinned, Or was, in fact, like any other ohild. No vanity there.was about the lass For, oh, how could there be, rd like to know, when she Had never gazed within a, looting -glass? Her little sinter Rene just her a,ge.••••• As pretty as a picture, 111 engage—, Took sick one day, and could not raise her head And grew so white 1 And mamma, weeping, said, In words that Mamie scarce could under- • stand, That Rene'd gone away • From their rude home to play With happy angels in the summer land. One day a visitor by love beguiled Took from her trunk a toy to please the child— A smell hand -mirror, that in its embrace Would surely frame the little maiden's face; And Mantle turned the curioustrinket o'er And laughed aloud with glee To see how merrily The bright flecks danced on ceiling and on floor. Then all at once she turned it so her gaze Fell on its polished surface. With amaze She started, then a closer scrutiny gave As though one had arisen from the gravest And, "Bene! Rene!" screamed with passion- . ate stir, Thinking, poor little lass, That from the sea of glass Her sister had come back to play with her. A Bad Habit, "Now, hubby, before , we were marled we promised to tell each other of our little faults and try to correct them, do you re. member dear ?" " Um•huh," grunted the husband, who was deep in reading the latest scandal. "Well, we've been married a week, and Irnotioe a bad habit; you have—do you hear ?" " Um- heth," "Yea, a bad habit, you have of not pay- ing attention when one is talking—are you listening to me ?" • " Unahuh." " ui not peying attention, and then when one gets through and Deka you something you say, Do what n This is not only very aggravating, but impolite, and I want yon to break yourself of the diaagreeable habit." "1)n what ?" Complete and Blissful Rest. "Had veer vacation yet, Jobkins ? ' "Yes, four vreeks---nioe qttiet time." "Queer. Seems as if I had seen you around town all Summer." "Oh, I've been here, but my daughter has been ofE • The piano hasn't; been opened for four weeks." Sir ,» he said to the old mom "for months'l have woiehipped yout daughter With a BMWS passionewhich I had every reason to suppose won reciprooated." bit Well?" und " Laet Wight she cruelly refused nie and tea in the depth of my dark despair I overesti• ,111 5 mated my capacity, and tine morniug was nee fined ten dollars, giv toti I think, sir, that, in vrinee of all eliding vet cirouiristances, it would W More than but right for yott to tehribunie me the fine.' S Street Scenes in a iiexioan City. The oddities of Mextean life and (Inatome strike the traveller toreibly everywhere itt Mexico, but more especially in'the interior towns, Where waddled " progrees" has made few innovations. In Guadalajara, as in many otherMexican cities, one of the finit things a stranger observee hi the fact that nearly every Mock ono street has a different name. Suppose he stunt doom the Calle (street) de Eturbide • going etraieht eltead a few stelae, the Orst'thinghe knowe he ia in the Calle de Mentos, and, a few feet farther on, in the Celle de Santa Guadalupe. Hav- in.g set put for a given place, he soon fitade wise in a hopelees earl—for even the numbers: begin and end and skip about as erratically as everythinv else that is Mexit can. La Guadalajara, not only has every saint in the calendar a, street or blook named after him or his, but some of them have their names several times repeated in Yarn •ous parts 9f the city; and then there are all the men eminent in local history to be thus honoured, beside a hundred historic hap- . penings, winch are commemorated in thin manner. Perhaps the beet illustration of the Catho- lic idea of constantly reminding people of their religion is the main thoroughfare of the Mexican capital. '4In the lump," it is known as the Calle de San Francisco, but every one of its seventeen Moths has a elifferent name mad the bundinge M each are numbered in the usual haphazard fashion, without regard to 'the numbers in any other book or to nu - merlin,' order in its own. Should you wish to go to a house or shop whose number is 500 , if you set out to look for "No. 500 San Francisco Street," you will probably find tieventeen buildings bearing that number be- tween the grand plaza and the statue of Care los V., but no block at all which is distinc- tively called San Francisco Street; therefore It ia neceesary to know not only the street and numlaer, but the name of the Femme in which that particular 500 is located. In that famous Calle de San Francisco, Some of the prominent names, translated into English, are aa follows: Street of the Sacred Heart, Jesus Street, Street of the Love of God, Heart of Jesus Street, John the Bap- tist Street, Blood of Christ Street, Crown of Thorns Street, Holy Ghost Street, Mother of Christ Street, Body of Christ Street, Fifth of May Street, and Street of the Sad Indian. Another peculiarity of Mexican life is that everybody lives over a shop, if the house be of two stories, or uses his lower floor for stabling the horses, quartering the servants, etc. Even millionaires often rent the ground floors of their swellest retsiclences for business purposes, and nobody seems to have any domestic use for their lower front rooms, which Americans consider most de- sirable. Go to call upon a Bishop, or some other high dignitary, or upon any family of known wealth and if there is not a shoe- , maker pegging away at his bench just inside the front door, or a tailor -shop, or hair- dressing), or blaoksmithing establishment you are obliged to squeeze past carriages standing in the pampa -way, or run the gauntlet of horses' heels besides viewing the paraphernalia of the forever -open kitch- ens, and smelling the next meal's menu. Another puzzling phenonaenon to the for- eigner is, that every man and woman to whom he speaks immediately presents him with a residence. On being introduced to a Mexican, he grasps your hand with ardent cordiality, and remarks: "My hobs° is yours ;it stands in the Calle de so and so, No.—, and is entirely at your service;" or he enforms you with great earnestness that La case de U (" your house") is such and such anumber, that he shall be offended if you do not ocoupy it, and that he and all his family are your most humble servants. As probably he has just been introduced to you by some other casual acquaintance, and has enjoyed the honour of knowing you not more than five minutes, he would naturall be astonished if . you took him at his word The funniest part of it is that those person who so recklessly lay all they possess a your feet, Would scarcely be able to recog wee you should they meet you next day and certainly if you (being of the male per suasion ") took the liberty of calling the cant so generously placed at your dis posal, you should meet with the coldes of welcomes, and be permitted to see non of:the ladies of the household. Another amusing oddity is that the stree oars run in groups, one car never seen alone not two togethen but always three or fou in a row, less than half a block apart, In stead of starting from the terminus one every five or ten minutes, several are started at once, every half hoar. To run each car it requires two conductors, besides the driver, and also in many places two or three soldiers armed cape; pie. The first conduo- tor approaches a passenger, sells him a ticket and pockets the money, and soon the second conductor comes along and takes up the bit of printed pasteboard ; meanwhile the brass - buttoned guardians of the peace stand glow- ering upon you, with suspicions eyes and loaded carbines. In some respects this double -conductor system is better than the "Punch In the pTesenoe of the passengaire " mode of the U, S. ; but though the soldiers are provided to insure the safety of passen- gers from robbers and revolutionists, a thnid person is more worried by their presence than by the possible dangers they are sup- posed to avert. There are alway first, second and third class oars, The coaches e the first and second class are made in New York, and are simi- lar to those used in that ; While the third class cars, manufactured in Mexico, look more like cabooses wed on freight trains than anything else with vrhich we fire taunter. Firat class fares are sometimes as high as fif ty cents—though:oftener almadin cents)—according to the length of the line—and though there is little difference between riding first or second class except in the character of the company, the second class fares are usually just half as much a a first class, and the third elites one-third. The drivers are compelled by latinto carry horns and to blow them whenever it crossing is approached, keeping up it perteot pande- monium popieloits it:Marten. • In Mexican society street -car conductors are gentlemen of cOnsulerable importance, with their silvergainiehed Sombreros, em- broidered linen, breeches bedecked with silver buttow up the outside Seams, end handsome pistols pto tru ding froM their belts. Why the pittole, I do not know—bub win ductor /AWAY/3 W04171 two of them conspien- ously displayed, probably because otherwise he doesn't °mender himself irt " full dress." Indeed, almost any Mexican would ate soon go out of doom without his wet as without his pistol. no wears it to thumb, to the opera, to see his best girl—in short, wherever he goes you May see a glietening of nickleplated steel sticking out from er hie eoat-tail. Every day, when my cher of Spanish (a awarthy young matt jacket of yellow kia atid powited-toed ts with enormoutly high heels) comes to ei in:see:he customary Innen, he is .obliged nbuckle his helt and deposit it big revel. upon my table before he can Sit dente to Athett the mon persist, in sweating such ex, tremely large hats, it menas a little queer that the ladiee wear no hats at all, and one cannot but feel impreseed with the idea that • if they could be persea,ded to "split the dif- ference" end average ela their head gear taste - tone the result would be more comfortable for both sexes. The moat ordinary sombre. ro coats not lents than $15, while the more uni- venally popular ones --those profusely gar- nished with hulhon—range m price from 860 to $600. Of late years the upper strata of society cover their heads exactly as do gentlernee itt London, Paris or New 'York—but A geouine Mexican of the middle class still invests all his surplue capital in his bat. A tierving man, whose wages ars not more than $12 per month patriottcally puts a year's income nate the expensive national eorobrero, though he economises to make up for it in the man ter of sheen vvearing ox -hide sandals of his own manufacture. An A merican gentleman tells me that, after being absent about thr months, he paid his footman $42 ba wages: and before night the fellow lead i meted $35 of it inc. new hat, and devoted t remaining $7 to the wants of his num rous and needy family. While many a tho oughbred Mexican sports a sombrero who valet, is away up in the hundreds, the bo ragged, who blacks your boots, is the pro possessor of one which cost him at least 1 " shhaes." But the most stunning spectacle of all the Mexican equestrian. Horseback ridi being the favourite amusement of the, ma population, the streets are lull of gallopi caballeros, particularly in the cooler hou of morning and evening, .An equestri may (nosily 'mend $1,000 on his outfit— course exclusive of the horse he rides—an then find himself eclipsed by many ef h neighbours. First, his magnificent silve mounted saddle coats all the way from $10 to $500; gold -mounted bridle; $125 ; ailv spurs, of marvellous size, as much mor sword $50; the buttons of solid silver, s in double rows up his trouser -legs, $100 hat, jewelled whip, eto., all his meat will Below. Indeed, Solomon, in all h glory, was never so arrayed, and, if no strictly speaking, "a thing of beauty he is something to be admired and wondere at from,the crown of the head to the sole of the feet. Generally he wears a sho jacket of kid or tiger-skm, or one of ease mere, heavily embroidered with gold silver thread ; a silken sash of pale blu pink, or crimson, partially concealing th silver -mounted belt he wadi are a couple o reyolvers ; while the rows of buttons on h trousers are linked together by. little loop and chains of silver, vrhieh jingle h rides, like the adornraents of that histori lady, who wore "rings on her fingers AB bells on her toes," and, like her, he also ha musics wherever he goes. Riding suits for small boys, from s years old and upwards, can be purchase here for akout $250, with full outfit trete sombrero to sword. And exceedingly com ical a black and -tan youngster looks evhe thus tricked out, huge spars and all, as w frequently see them riding beside tbei wealthy papas, or followed at respectful dis tame by a groom ---the yery miniatures o their elders. t Mexican ladies generally take their exer cise in closed carriages, as etiquette forbid them to ride on horseback, unless acoom panted by huelta.nd, father or brother. Fo a gentleman to ask his first -cousin to go ou with him, either on foot on horse, or in carriage, would be resented as incleadly. in sult, and give sufficient cause:for a duel, sum to accept the invitation would seriously com promise her good name. On pleasant afternoons (and all afternoon are pleasatit hare except during the rainy season), everybody who owns a carriage, or is able tb hire one, drives out to the Alameda or Paseo—the fashionable boulevard attach ed to every Mexican town. In all Mexico there is not a phaeton, or any other o en e, vehicle above a cart; but though hermeti- n cally sealed up in closed carriages, one may • catch glimpses of bright eyes and bea,utiful t faces—for the fair occupants are not . averse to admiration, deapite their rigid ; adherence to etiquette, and ale gener- . ally about the easiest creatures in the t wotld to flirt with. . Many of the handsomest ouriages of the t wealthiest people are drawn by mules, for O "blooded stock" of that description brings fabulous prices here. • In truth, a pair of t anew -white olosely clipped and care - WIT AND WISDOM, Y.^ Firi3t Memo° missionary—How did you leave Baxter county, Smith, by ? Second Mormon missionary—Yes, fence rail. And can smell the tar yet. mixings °yen up pretty wen after all. Men throve the banana, thine ? he sidewalk, and then the banana thine tin o w men on the sidewalk, It is said that Sunday liquor is frequently drank under a New York policeman's nose. There can be little doubt of it, for that its where a policeman's mouth generally is. An ambitious young writer having asked, "What inagaziue will give me the highest posttion quickest ?" was told, "A powder magazine, if you contribute a fiery article." It is said that the marriage of the young Emperor of China will coatsoma $6,000,000. 5,e The young gentleman marries early, but °K he can hardly afford to marry often at that n* rate. he Would-be funny man—Say, professor, tt which is the inost musical, the voice of it et donkey or that of a jackass ? Profeesor—I n't shall have to hear you sing before I can de- n' oide ud ' eo " But the worst of all isms," said a. leo, turer on sectatianiant " is pugilism " is know a worse ism than that," sold a lame ng ,man in the back of the hall. "What ia it ?" en, " Rheumatism." ng Major Smith—" Colonel Jones, can yon re tell me where General Robinson got hie mili- eu tary title ?" Colonel Jones--"- Certalnly,, f sir. He was general ticket agent at Kale - el memo, Mich,. for six years." Kala - .11 t. A Good Job.—"Mamina," said Flossie, who was adnairing herself' in the glass "did 0 ' te, God make me ?" "Yes dear," replied mam ma. "Well," was Flossien dictum, after a "et,' pause, "he needn't be ashamed of it." No wonder the Emperor William doesn't ns want the Schteswig-tiolstein question raised Is by Russia. Only one man ever understood t, the Schleswig-Holstein !petition, and he ," died in the effort to explain it to others. As fair warning against indulgence in illt rt • afforded luxury, Josh Billings said: "It iz t„ but a step forard from hoeciaik to plunnpud- d din,' but it iz a mile and a, half by the near- , est road when we have to go back again." e Miss De Smith—What made you and f Augustus Popinjay look so sheepish and is glum this afternoon vilien I called? Had you se the efahlelinnIgmeocukt ? Miss Travis—Yes—out Of g• Every bad motion which men do makes " humanity seem less lovely, and so makes it 8 harder to love not only the brother we ix have eeen, but also the God we have not d seen. The mother of the present German Em- . press is confined in a madhouse. She n wa.nted.to become the wife of Louis Napo - e loon, when be was President, and would r. yhaiveteedrioan.e so but for the opposition of Queen • f No detaining society hasever yet settled the momentous question which is the worst • really to have a burglar in the room, or to • lie awake in intense expectancy for half an • hour morally convinced that one is there. re Young Featherly (yeaitingfor Miss Clara) " —" And so your sister expected me to call thiB evening, did she, Bobby?" Bobby—" Yes, sir, I guess she did, I o heard her tell ma that she had, set the clock an hour ahead.'" 8 Guest (indignantly)—.Waiter, there are feathers in this soup ! Waiter (inspecting it)—Why, so there are. I thought I was giving you bean soup. It's chicken broth, sir ; cons ten cents more. (Changes figures on the check.) fully grooreed, decorated veith gold -mount. d harness and bunches of ma roses at the r e . base of their ears, make a turn -out by no means to be despised. Mexicau ladies even shop in:their carriages, and oompell the clerks to bring out to the curbstone the goods they wish to look at A row of carriages jammed close together before a fashionable store, and a row of bonen:leaden salesmen bargaining with the occupants, ia a common sight; while other clerks rush to and fro in it frenzy cf excite- ment, bringing out nox after box and piece after piece of goods, matching shades, sera - plea and trimmings, etc. Nooe but Servants and foreigners stand at the counters to buy. In a few of the stores the merchants have fitted up private • parlours where ladies may sit, if they like, and have the goods brought to them—but even this lb considered " gaestiona,ble." • Shopping is a serious undertakintt here, for merchants never classify their goods, but keep silks and cottons, woollens and lin- ens mixed up together on their shelves in wildeat confusion. If you step into a store and ask for a pair of gloves, nobody his any idea, where the kind you require are to be found, and a ...wand search commences. The obligiug blerks tumblnover drawers in which are shoes and ribbons, bustles, laces' per- fumery Diva d what not until the desiredarti- cles are &scorned. Nor are goods ever delivered by the mer- chants at the resideece of the phrchaser. If a package it too bulky to tele in year carriage (and never under any circemstances would a Mexieen lady or gentleman be mon with a buxidle in his hands), you pay a car- aclor.to take it to your ttddrese, These licensed carriers are similar to tite district inessengere of northern cities, except that these leatheraproned functionaries are al- waya men aud never boys. The ,cargador's fee is fiked by law. Each wears a brass edge beating his number, and if he does not delieerthe goods promptly and in good order, you report him to the police and he rll iyn. Oa the ot er hand, if he cannot find your residenee, or if there hes been some -mistake in the direotions, it ia hs y Itt ttsko t e pae ago to po ice head' quarters, where you tnay recover it en prov- ing property.—nannie B. Ward in eV Week. A feller tetew cents to help him alone, t A Score. lIarcl.tip Gent Say, Bess, can't yer give Mr. balawney u Why don't you do some. thing few yaw oun living You bad bettah ask fox' bWaine instead of enemy, Hard -up Gent: Well, Boss, I waked yer for what I thought yer hadthe most of, The Soul aide the body, and at earbeiri MernehtS reiBeS it. It is the only bird which , bears up Ito own cage. At a recent ball at the house of Mrs. Mulholland, in London, the mantlepieces were covered with banks of rare orchids, pyramids of flowers were placed in every available corner, and baskets of flowers were lining from the ceilings, while the staircase was a trellis work of flowers. • Willie—What makes you come to our hewn so often, Mr. Hankinson ? Do you want to marry our /raw ? Miss Irene (taken by surprise, but realizing with rare presence of mind that Mr. Hankinson has got to say something new)—Willie, , you impertnient boy, leave the room 1 • "But I don't understand about this phone- , graph. How is it done 1 what is it like ?" Why, 18 18 simply talking into a machine instead of to ears of flesh and blood." " Talking to a maohine ?" "Yes, talking to a, machine ; not precisely as I'm' doing now, but very much the same." His Portrait. • Astatits do not always devote brush and pencil to the portrayal of the beautiful ; sometimes those potent instruments are turned into weanons which may reasonably be feared by evil -doers. A ready hand and brain are possession, likely to coma into play under any circumstances ; they may even cope tuocessfully with brute force. The following adventure is told by Mulready, the artist : One bright moonlight night, in my student days'I was walking in a street on the out- skirts of London, little better that a country late, when aman came out of the shadow thrown by it large tree, and, producing a pistol, addreseed me in the usual robber fashion With: " Your watch and money, please 1" "1 am a poor artist," said I. "See, these are my drawings. I have no watch ; I have never been able to buy one." "Your nioney, then, and be quick 1" All this time 1 was watching the fellown face ; it was very white, and I think he Was more frightened than I was. I gave hint all the silver I had about me ; he said !'Good. ight," civilly enough, a,nd star ted off towarda Lohdon. I made the best of my way home, and before I went tented, I drew the man's face very oarefully. The next morning, I went to Bow Street with my drawingiltoping it might be recognized by the officers there, but no 1 The face, they said, was new to them. " If you will leave the likeness here, air„ " said the chief detective, " We may perhaps dome aoross the person'it represents." That very soon happened, a, fortnights had scarcely passed before I was tailed on to identify, the man who had robbed me. He had been arrested lot niutder, and was easilYeonVicted. It Was a Miracle. Court—" What is the Enlarge againet this Officer*" Stealing a sheep." l'risoner—" X didn't steal no sheep. I'se it remain' in depapahs dab wool wuz free, BO he'ped myself to Mr. SmiPe wool." Officer —" Your honor, the prisoner stole sheep, wool Arta all." Prisonet-e" tem', Rah ; not quietta eah, 1 aia took up dat free wool w'at I done been s..roadit' 'bout sah, mad dog My amid ef / Med dat theep orawi inter dat wool I Must be one ob dem der merhicles, sal."