Loading...
HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1888-3-8, Page 6Want of Sleep IA sending thonsands annually to the *eau° asylum ; and the doctors say this likeable is alarmingly on the inereaee. 31128 usual remedies, while they may stive -temporary relief, are likely to do more harm than good. 'What is neede1 Is an Alterative and Blood. -purifier. .11.7er's Sarsaparilla is incomparably She best. It correets those disturbances * the circulation which cause sleepless.. *ass, gives increased 'Vitality, wed, ree stores the nervous system to a healthful *audition. Rey. T. G. A. Cote, agent of the Masa, Home Missionary Soeiety, writes that is stomach was out oi order, his sleep very often disturbed, and some im- purity of the blood manifest; but that a perfect cure was obtained by the use et Ayer's Sarsaparilla. Frederick W. Pratt, 424 Washington street, Boston, writes: My daughter VMS prostratedewith nervous debility. Ayer's Sarsaparilla restored her to health." William lit Bowker, Erie, Pa., was awed of nervousness and sleeplessness by taking Ayer's Sarsaparilla for about two months, during which time his weight increased over twenty pounds. Ayer's Sarsaparilla, PREPARED BY Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass. field by all Drugglets. Price $1; six bottles, $6. THE EXETER TIMES. Is publisned every Thursday morning,at tette Ti HIES STEAM PRINTING HOUSE lffam-street, nearly olposite Fitton's Jovvelory Store,Exeter,Ont.,by John, White tt: Son. Pro- prietors. RATES OF ADVERTISING- : Firstinsertion,per line ..... ................ .10 cents. Each subsequep tinsertion ,per cents. To insure insertion, advertisements should be sent in not later them tVednesday morning Our.TOR PRINTING DEP 1RTMENT is one f the largest a.nd best equipped in the County t Huron, All work entrusted to uF1 ream,- ur prompt attention. Any person who takes a paperregularly from he post -office, whether directed in bis name or another's, or whether he he s subscribed or not ta responsible for payment. 2 If a person orders his paper discontinued he must pay all atrears or the publisher may continue to sendit until the payment is made, and then colleet the whole amount whether the paper is taken from the office or not. 3 In suits f or subseripti OnS, the suit rutty be instituted in the place -where the paper is pub- lished, although the subscriber may reside hundreds of miles away. 4 The courts have decided that refusing ts take newspapers or petiodicals from the post - office ,or reraoNing and ma -ring them unealled for is prima facie evidence of intentionalfraurl • YOUNQ F01.01KS. nIE TINANT IN 'TEE TIN TO1V411, lieerotle roIttattra. and perch with, all four feet tightly clas row* the wire Which serves as an axle f be wheel, Uldufe his long tail as 41 1)4411 azd. curling the fuld of it Around oue t wires, like is South Amerloan monkey, They 41W4ygi Ott OW Of theiehende, eitti up tie thew hannehes. and greening the She is not is veu large Tyrant, nos doee of bread or creeker between their fore pa her tearer comma/id aik. eXtenitivo dotnain. like a squirrel. They are also cleanly Ho The fact is, it etands apo n my writing. creatures, washing tlaemselyee freouentl desk ; but she is just as arbitrary as a end, I am sorry to say, using their erinki monarch of the Middle Ages, and as :supreme cup as is wash-bowm l. Dummy and Stup in, her authority as if her vaesals were regi. wash each other, Robin oue another all oe meats of nien.at-arms, insteed of two poor carefully, but die Tyrant disdains such f mice. I do not know the grounds for her miliarity and performs her own toilet, was autherity, for 1 only made her aequaintence ing her face with her hands just on I ha is few months ago, arid I have not yet seen ber human COUbilla do, sufficiently pert e eted inviielf in mouse len- One morning there was a terrible comm gua,ge to domes political questions with tion in the cage. Dummy jumped up 0.0 her, Moreover) elle is haughty and distant, down from the shelf, and Stupid did n and, ignores Inv friendly advances. Her seem to be contented in the reel, but Wa tWO serviturs wel take bite of clacker from dered back and forth like an unquiet apiri my fingers, but she Only A.a20$ at me with I peeped in on the shelf and there was t her black (yes, and elevates her nose with explanation. Meditate Tyrant was curie a contempitious sniff. Yet I bear it all with up, coatentectly miming four phdr hitt becoming humility, for I um used to it. Be. bits of mouse -flesh, of which she was sides, she is only is mouse. proud as any human mother. Stupid an I caught my Tyrant in a trap. Like many Dummy redoubled. their attentions, and another Want, she fell a victim to her was airaid that they 'would smother th passion kr devouring that which did not youngsters under the quantities of melte belong to her. Some months ago a scratch- and corn which they oarried up to the shelf ing in the wainseot and is scamper- The young ones thrived and grew, and is scamper in the walls led us—the honseevife the lower scarcely afforded accommodatio and me—to believe that there were mice in tor 88V8/I, I was obliged to put on an exte the house, Su long as they staid in the walla sion in the shape of is tin ontoker.box fasten and behind the wainscot I did not mind, eel on one side. but the Tyrant was evidently not satisfied I do not know that I ever had a pet le hic with this. aftorded me mote amusement thau my Ty Before long I found that ray shoes were rant in the tin tower. She and her com tubbled, the bindings of my favorite) books penions are so human in their actions, so were curiously scalloped, and to cap the graceful, so easy to take care of, and so in- olimax, holes were eaten in the bosom of my telligent. They are pets within the reach best dress shirt. This was not to be endur- of any boy or girl. i fancy no househeeper ed, and accordingly the housewife procured will object to having you catch a Jew com- a trap. It was not one of those cruel ma- mon brown mice; and if you don't happen chines ith springs which kill the unfortun. to have a cage, you can easily make oue out ate rodent who dares to tamper with the of an old cracker -box, with a glass front and tempting bait, but a humane affair cunning- la few cents' worth of wire netting, which I ly contrived so that as soon as one mouse , you can get at any hardware store. Only j was safely caged inside, the trap set itself I remember that mico are naturally very ; for the entrance of another. This trap was cleanly in their habits, and it is your own , solemnly belted and we awaited' develop- fault if they are dirty. Another thing, do not force your attention upon them; let them get a little lased to you before you at- mews. The next morning we found the Tyrant in the trap. She was a sleek, plump little I tempt to make them eat from your hand. . creature, with big black eyes, thin delicate As to t.°°di ask an house -keeper what a ears, and is long graceful tail. Her little mouse will eat ; there is variety enough in heart beat violently, her big eyes looked !their bill of fare; but take my advice and out between the bars so appealingly that I do not feed them on your good ahoes or immediately said to the housewife, e.ssum. , your best shirts ; that is what got my Ty- rant into the tin tower. Ty- ing an air of unconcern, , "Now you have camght your mouse, you had better drown the thing." "My mouse 1" exclaimed the housewife, FLASHES FROM THE TELEGRAPH. in fine scorn. "It was your shirt it ate. I -- would not kill it for anything." The expenditure last year on the Indians I took one more look at the pleading eyes of the Dominion was $1,147,724. and quiveriug sides, and bethoughe 3210 of a 1 Voting on the repeal of the Scott Act in . n caatle in the garret, a relic Renfrew -will take place on Thursday, April of the days when I kept white mice. 1 . brought it down and dusted it, end trans- ferred our unwilling guest to her new home, 1 . The new parcel post convention between And that is the way the Tyrant came to oc- Canada and the United States is now in cepy her tin tower. operation. That night the trap was set again, and 1 The Grand Jury in Montreal has returned such an odd-looking specimen of the mouse ; "true bills," against Detectives Fahey and tribe as greeted our gaze the next morning! Naegele for larceny and conspiracy. He was little and ragged; one ear hung for- I The sarcophagus that contained the body lornly over his eye, while the other was per- of Alexander the Great has been discovered forated with many holes. He cowered in at Saida, is town of Syria, on the Mediter- the corner so dejectedly that I could but be ranean. moved with pity, t and quickly obeyed the 1 It is rumoured Emperor William has housewife's order to put him in the tower. I "He will be company for the other," said signed a decree which, in the event of his the housewife. becoming incapable of ruling, will make He was. He had hardly entered the tow- 1 er before the Tyrant sprang from her p,roh The annual report of the Indian Depart. on the shelf and attacked him. She raised 1 ment states that there are now 128,000 In- dians in the Dominion, under the charge of herself on her hind -feet and boxed his rag- 1 the Government, oecupyieg 1,147 reserves. ged ears; the squeaked at him and shook I him; and he cowered in the corner and took I At a meeting of the Panama Canal Com - it as is matter of course, never offering to PanYt held in Paris recently, M. de Lesseps defend himself. I concluded that they were expected to have the canal navigable by old acquaintances --possibly enemies—and means of locks in 1890, though the work left them to fight it out between themeelves. . would not be entirely completed by that 'But when the next day we caught another , date. in the trap, and found that our pretty I At a meeting in Toronto the Other day of Tyrant treated him in the same way, the creditors of the Central Bank, Mr. Henry we decided that she must be a sort of Lye was unanimously appointed liquidator queen in mouseland, and that these were I in place of Mr. Campbell. Resolutions were her servitors. To be sure, this was adopted expressing approval of Mesar. B ow - a very unmannerly and unladylike way to ; lona and Gooderham's course of action, and treat her servants but then she may. have ; instructing them to prosecute any party or ived in a household where the mistress parties who helped to wreck the bank, hought she was made of a finer clay than those who were compelled to work, and we cannot expect a mouse to be better than =Ian beings. In fact, she treated those ,Decisions _Regarding News- papers. Exeter Butcher Shop, R.DAVIS, Butcher & General Dealer —TN ALL XIZ73)S OF-- . MF',AT easterners supplied TUESDAYS, THUBS- _DAYS AND SATUBDAYS at their resideace ORDERS LEFT AT THE SHOP WILL RE I CEIVE PROMPT ATTENTION. I 'PENNYROYAL WAFERS. ' f2tilehron tiff a pbytdedaa who I a Me lorgeasezperletwej , areating female es. t mon with pwleot swum 1W effectual. Ladies ask_your over 10, _ .U. Pleasent,S gist for Pennyroyal Wafers h lake no substitute, or Mel ..me for soolodparticears. WE BUDIMILiabi Ici Er 1 geilt V.7DIDTOrrs Sold in Exeter by J. W. Browning, a*. Lutz, and all druggists. 1Prince William Regent. 1 Utilizing Sewage. The New York World says :—The French two poor unfortunates so nearly as I had Chamber of Deputies has passed a bill svhieh seen a certain lady treat her maids, that I has for its object the utilization of the straightway named her Mrs. Blank, but sewage of Paris for fertilizing purposes. was corrected by the housewife, who christ- The eucceesful carrying out of this plan ened her "The Tyrant." I would bring the sewerage system of the The airs and graces which this little Tyr- French capital into a state little short of ant puts on are amusing, and it is interest- ideal perfection. Of all the great cities of ing to see in how many things mice reseal- the world Berlin now stands first in the .e real people. I pushed a quantity of cot- matter of utilizing sewage. Twelve thou - On through the wires for her to make her sand acres of the unfertile plains about the est of. She came down from her shelf, city are being enriched through condicts ravely inspected the cotton, and jumped fromits reservoir sinks and powerful pumps. a,ck again. Presently the two servitors, What the pecuniary outcome of the experi- how 1 christened Stupid and Dummy (for ment will be renmins to be seen, but the had very little respect for them for allow- presumption is in its favour. The River g themselves to be imposed upon as they Spree flows through the German capital as were), came down, and began tugging and clear as is mountain stream, nor is it pollut- pulling to getthecottonupon the shelf. After ed below ail in the case of the Hudson near a deal of trouble theysucceeded, 8,nd when I Albany and Troy. peeped in I found matters just as I expect- ed they would be. The Tyrant was cozily curled up in her cotton nest, while the two servitors crouched on the cold tin a few in- ches away. I put in more cotton, and it was not until the two poor workers had com- pletely fil'ed the shelf that she allowed them a bit of the bed for themselves. She compels them to wait on her. If I put a bit of cracker or bread between the wires, Stupid or Dummy will straightway snatch it and dutifully early it up to the Tyrant on the shelf. She does not receive these attentions with gratitude, but scolds and snarls, and I suspect that she does not confine her faultfinding to squeaks, for poor Dummede ears are becoming more ragged every day. Each of the little creatures displays (lia- na traits of character. As I have said, e Tyrant seems to have an utter contempt r her surroundings, myself included. She fuses to make: my acquaintance, and noy she would order me about if she uld make me understand. Dummy, on e contrary, is very sociable, and is intense - interested in me and my work. He ill stand by the half-hour erect on his nel.feet, with one hand grasping the wire, d his sharp little nose pressed against the re, watching every movement of my pen. O gazes at me 80 intently that I cannot t over the uncomfortable feeling that me one is looking over my shoulder as 1 ite, Oceasionally his nose will get tired om resting against the cold wires, and he Had Gone Down. ill rub it gravely with his disengaged paw, ver relaxing his watch for an instant. ve great hope e of Dummy, and if all goes 111 shall make an editor of him some day. 018 having considerable experience in look - g over manuscript. Stupid, on the contrary, has no literary rn. He is gentle enou h, and will take AGI Send 10 cents postage and we will send you 1, free a. royal, valuable " sample box of good.' t that will pu t you in the way of making more n .2aoney at onca, than anything e.lse in America. b Bothsexes of all ages can live at home and work in sparetime, or all the time. Capital " notrequirud. We will start you. Immense W ay 8TO f or those -who start at once. see -armee I ze Portland Maine "BELL" ORGANS Unapproached for Tone and Quality CATALOGUES FREE. BELL & C051 Guelph, Ont. C. & S. GIDIJEY, th ti fo UNDERTAKERS! th ly hi ba ge so ver fr Furniture Manufacurers • —A FULL STOOK OF— Furniture, Coffins, Caskets, ..tbia everything hi the above line, to meet ioanaediate wante. We have one of the very best Hearses in the County, Scandal in the Family. One of the most fruitful sources of family quarrel is the habit of "repeating round" A. tells B. something that C. has said or done. B. on his part tells somebody else, with a d little embellishment from his own somewhat lively imagination. This is welltalked over and discussed in private by all three, till at t last poor C. himself would finite fail to re- v cognise bis own thoughtless speech erection e in the highly -coloured picture of his miede- g meanour that is going the round ofthe family. It is well for him if it goes no farther, and dis- tant relatives do not catch the echo and add their voice to the sibilant censure that runs L 33 ife and happinese. la 111 is hi in is fo TE,eram};-LILIT abu.33, The first thing in order when the meeting opened owas tepert ite to the amount of der:loges ousteined the raid ori Paradise Hall, as deoribed last week. Brother Gard- ner maid that a careful ,estimate had beee made by the 'committee, and the damage would not fall far short of 03,000,oco. The club would have to bear every dollar of this loss, as the iusurame only covered' fire. Over 100 seemed and historical relics which could not be replaged for any sum had been destroyed It WAS is hard blow at the penes of the olub, but bilsittess would mot be inter- rupted for is angle hour. Even ehould the hall be deetroyed, the note meeting of the club would be held in the Common Council chamber, and permanent quarters would be had within is week, Nothing had thus far been heard, of the vandals, and it was proe bable they made their eecatae. It might be that human juetice would never overtake them, but there was a hereafter from which they could not eimape. The hall had been put in shape again, and during the next few e1ays Giveadion Jones and Dreadful Smith would protect it, one wetolung by day and the other by night. Each had. been armed with a shot -gun filied to the muzzle with duck -shot, shingle nails, marblee, carpet racks and lead nickles and the marauder who got within half is mile of one of them would never atteud another ward caucus, MANY THANES. The destruction of relics, as stated last week, e was telegraphed over the country, and th many friends of the club bestirred themselves to replace the museum. The fol. lowing articles were received during the week: Six swords which were more or less worn by Napoleon on his retreat iroin Moscow. Five relies from Valley Forge, all of whiele were used by George Washington. Various cups, bottles, candlesticks, pad- locks, boot -jacks and jackhraves used by celebrated privates as they sealed the regal main. ate cons, clay pipes, poker chips an checker -boards which were Ivied by venous crowned heads from the thirteenth to the sixteenth century. The Secretetry Wee instruoted to return the thanks of the club to the various donors and to publish an appeal to the country at s large to contribute further objects of in- terest. CONDOLENCE. leave of abeenee for two weeks without re, spousibility. The lanitor reported finding a bone , - handled 'embrolla in the wood-bex, and the llama proved te be the article 100t by Sir Isaao Walpole seven months ago. The ineeting then adjourned. The Counta7 Houle Ali I the old country home nOW BO SIPr • pantly named " the new heattienism," wee? oau calculate its influeeoe or its power for good ? Diatinet it is from the city home, yet its history is there written in living characters drawn from every hillside home in fair Ontario. in e pery city Immo, meny tures are lovingly drawn of the early home. It may have been a wood- colored old farm- houee, with the well near the door over which the welleaweep stands guard, and from wliich the bucket descends to bring the liquid nectar so grateful to the thirsty fam- ily, or it may have been the large squat*, white house with the green surround- ed by the old and graceful elms wherein the oriole builds her net and from whose pen- dant branches he swings and sings his wel- eome notes; or it may have beentheone el ory cottage, poor and bare in all its appoint- ments, but in children, who are in suffieient number to supply all deficiency in the other furnishings of its roCIXIS--bright and ha ppy n aa nags ita belongings are no part of its happiness to the mind. And yet, there has one out from these homes ati in- fluence the power of which is beyond all calculation, and it is never lost, hardly diminished, by the on -rolling years, till in the quiet of old age, the mind goes back with relief and delight to those early prim- itive clays with their blessed connectione, and we fully realize all that is sweet, rot- ful and sacred in home love. The aterling character, the loving thoughts, the pure aspirations, all that man loves on earth or °pee login heaven, rise with reflective vision g of the old home, for they were born there. d I How Men Should Aot Virben Their Ador- ers Propose Marriage. Young man, we want just is word with you privately. Now listen. Being leap year, you will doubtlees heve more or lees • offers of marriage from the fair sex. Of ! course you aro not called upon to accept I any of them unless you choose. When your I adorer falls on her knees, and with dis- Letters of condolence were announce from several branches of the government from a score of different societies, and from nearly 100 honorary membeca. It was no ticed and whispered about that not on singie missive had been received from membera. it was noticel and whispered about that not one single missive had been received from a member of the Legislature and preaently Iillaydown Bebee arose to it question of privilege and called the atten tion of the club to this point. Was it be cause the Legislature was jealous of th Lime -Kiln Club, and exulted over the grea disaster which had come upon it? The question being declared open for de bate, Col. Cahoots he felt a pan in th region of his heart to gee it great legislativ body animated by such a principle. He knew several members of the preseut Legis lature, and he had gone out of his way on various occasions to show that he did no feel above them. From this date to the year 2000 he would never speak to nor re cognize a member of the State Legislature. Sir Junkerford Whitington had always re spected the Legialature as a body, but he could clo so no longer. He owed a membei of that body $7 for hay, but he would never pay it—never. Judge Shaoleleforcl Jackson gave notice that he would ask leave to introduce at some future meeting a resolution calling for an investigation of all the crimes and offen- ses comraitted by the Legislatures of Michi- gan during the last forty years, and several other membere spoke with much feeling against that body for its apparent want of sympathy. THE RIGHT SPIRIT. The Secretary then read the following: HEADQUARTEB.S CONCORD SCHOOL OF PHILOSOPHY. CONCORD, Mime. Brother Gardner: d hevelled hair, dilating eyes, distended nos. , I trils and clenched fists she beats upon her breast bone and swears by all the stars that •1 , she loves you and you alone, don't get O frightened and send for it policeman under a the impression that you have a lunaticess on your hands. She's not crazy. All you have ' to do is to sit still until the area ern is , 1 passed, when she veill subside and calmly - 1 frankly tell her that you have always loved await your decieion. If you want her, THE CULVERWELL MEDICAL CO 41 Alin Street, New York. ° - her, and thank her cordially for giving you Post Office Box 450 4586.1y o , this opportunity of saying a,s much. If you I don't wee t her, you should enuffie a few 1 times, aud tell her that you are awfully - sorry, but your heart belongs to another, e and the best you can do is to love her as a e brother. If she has any hind of stuff in her she will then stand on her feet, straighten - her bustle around where it belongs, coil up her hair in shape again, pin her hat on her t , head, crawl into her sealskin sa.cque, 8,nd I with an expressed wish that you may be - I happy with whoever is fortunate enough 1 to win your heart, sail out into the night, - ! and lay plans for further campaigns. These ordeals are liable to come to you any mo- ' 1 ment, so you will do well to be always on the lookout, lest in any unguarded mo- ment, you get frightened into making a promise that will cloud the whole course of your future life. To Save Life a Frequently requires pretupt action, An bmer's delay waiting for the doctor may be attended with sexious consequences, especially in cases of Croup, Fueumenia, and other throat and lung troubles. gene°, no family Should be without a bottle of Ayer's Cherry pectoral, ethieli has proved itself, in thousands of eases, the best Emergeuey Medicine ever discovered. It gives Prompt relief and prepares .the way for a there/16h cure, which is certain to be effected by its continued use. S. H. Latimer, M, D., Mt. Vernon, Gan say's: "I have found A.yer's Cherry Pectoral a perfect cure for Crotty in all oases. have known the worst cases relieved in a very short time by its use; and I advise all families to use it intend - den emergencies, for coughs, croup, Fee." A. J. Eidson, M. D., lvfiddleAwn, Tenn., says : "1 have used Ayer's Cherry Pectoral, with the best effect in my practice. This wonderful prepara- tion once saved my life. I had is con- stant cough, night sweats, was greatly reduced in flesh, and given up by my physician, One bottle and a half of the Pectoral cured me." "1 cannot ,say enough in praise of Ayer's Cherry Pectoral," writes E. I3ragdon, of Palestine, Texas, " believ- ing as I do that, but for its use, I should long since have died.'4 Ayer's erry Pectoral; ch PREPARED BY Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass. Sold by all Druggists. Price $1; six bottles, $5. How Lost, How Restored Just published, now edition of Dr. Culver - well's Celebrated Essay on the radical cure -of SPIIRMATORRIRMA or incapaeity induced by excess er early indiscretion. The celebrated author, in this admirable man olearly demonstrates from a thirty years' atteeessfal practice, that the alarming consequences of Self- abuse tnsy radioaliy mired ; pointing out a mode of cure at ones cettatu and effectual, by means of which every eufferer, no matter what his condition may be. may cure himself cheaply, pri- vately and radicalk. Thls lecture should be in the hands of every youth and every man in the land, Sent under gee!, in a .plain envelope, to say ad- dress, post-paid, on receipt of four seats, or two postage stamps. Address Sin—We notice by telegram from Detroit that another attempt has been made to wreck your Lime -Kiln Club. Accept our sympathies, and in case we can help you don't be afraid to prefer a request. We are now distributing a lot of our philosophy around the country free of cnarge, and have ordered a large quantity sent to you, charg- es prepaid. With respect, C. S. P. "15 was werry, kind o' em, replied Brother Gardner, an' de Seckretasy will see dat our thanks ar' duly returned. When de philosophy comes we will spread it on de shelves of de muneum, properly labeled, an' it will no doubt attract a great deal of at- tenehun." DON'T WANT ONE. Pickles Smith didn't want to take up the valuable time of the meeting, but he lead re- ceived several letters from Prof. Brinkerhoff, of Louisville, offering to act as weather - prophet for the club at a small monthly salary. He didn't know how to reply, and would therefore ask if the club proposed to employ any such personage. " No, sah," promptly replied the Presi- ent, "we ain't so rushed wid bizness dat we can't wale till to.morrer to know what cle weather am gwine ter be. You kin write o your friend dat we doan' need his scr- ims, an' it might bo well to call hie a.tten- hun to de fact dat pork an"taters am wine to be mighty high next spring." A DECISION. like a deadly under-ourrent, marring Cas A Matter of Life and Death. Little Nellie—" Ma, in the baby very sick ?" Mother—" Not very, Nellie." " He isn't likely to die, is he ?" " Oh, no ; you wouldn't like poor little brother to die, would you?" " Well, n -no, IVIa, (with just a tirge of hesitation) I wouldn't like him to die, of course, but, still, Ma, when Willie 'Waffles' little brother died he didn't have to go to school for a whole week." ne ha we ID tu ed Ititeralg turnigheid and eanaaataa a bits of cracker from my ngers) and winsk extterriely low priceS them up on the shelf to the Tyrant; but he not greatly prefere to exereilie in the wheel, Which, like a gigantic treadmill, is fastened Amt., Trill thilIBBBBT SOOMCB91 to one end of the tower. Or he will climb He was ringing the elevator itt one of the big business blocks when a boy came down stairs and said : "What are you trying to do ?" "Bring the elevator down." " Yon are too late. The ropes broke and it fell five milatites ago." " Ah—yes. I eee I Then it'e no use and will step ringing." An, Abel dieeourse—A eention on the first murder, An official communication from Branch odge No. 124, Fiorence, Alm, asked that rother Gardner make a decision in a case efore that lodge. The Treasurer, in mak. ng change with is number for dues, put hree ten -cent pieces in his mouth for the oment, and accidentally falling over is hair he swallowed them. Be was there - or that much short in his settlement, but nsists that no shortage has occurred, as he on hand and the money, preforce, is en and with him. While he can't produce it, e hasn't converted it to his own use nor tentionally hidden it away. The, branch divided in opinion, and an appeal is there - r made to the head -center. " While de club can t blame de treasurer r gulpin'clown its money," replied Brother Ladner, after a moment's reflection, "ho blame de club fur wantin' him to gulp up again. /5 le ray decishunditt speshual mmittee has de tight to stand him on his ead until it is proved dat do recovery of e eash is a hopeless case." fo ea it co MISCELLANEODS, The Librarian reported the number of al - macs on hand at 11,240, and he asked that o mini of $3 be appropriated for repairs in department. The Committee on the Fisheries reported no porgress for the last three months, but signs of good fishing for the spring. The lieeper of the BeitieTtape was given th hi The India Rubber Trunk. BY A. W. EELLAW. It had on it, "Please don't menkey With this India rubber trimk, It has loaded genie and pistols, And it won't stand any monk ; It holds glassware, bombs ancl children. And you want to touch it light, Nitro-glycerine, gun cotton, .And a lot of dynamite 1" Fierce the baggage -master grabbed it, For it roused leis savage ire, Ansi he smashed it, crushed it, dashed it In a manner that was dire; And he bounced it, and he trounced it, And he caved, and raved and swore, And he bumped it, and he " stomped" it, And he whooped, and howled, and tore. He ill-used it, and he bruised it, And he tossed it, and he crushed, And he pitched six trunks upon it, But this one would not be 1 mushed," And he pounded, and he bumped it, And he heaved it, and he dumped it, For it rendered him insane. Then upon the top pile bumped it As he shrieked with might and main; But this trunk slid down upon Wm' And it bounced him, and it trounced him, And it chugged him, and it mugged him, And it stemped him, and it tramped bins, And ilbused him, and confused him, And it kicked him, and it licked him; .And when theyhad stopped its jumping, And its thumping, and its bumping, ' Thelast words they heard from Chunkey, As they bora him to his bunk, Were, " My friends, don't ever monkey With an India rubber trunka- The Colors of the Alpine Sky. When the Alpine sun is setting, or, bet- ter still, some time after it has set, leaving the limbs and shoulders of the mountains in shadow, while their snowy °ruts are bathed by the retreating light, the snow glows with a tmautyeand solemnity hardly equalled by any other natural phenomenon. So, also, when first illumined by the rays of the tin - risen sun, the mountain heeds, under favorable atmospheric conditions, shine like rubies. And all this splendor is evoked by elle simple mechanism of minute particles, themselves without color, suspended in the air. Those who referred the extraordinary succession of atmospheric glows,witnessed some years ago, to a vast and violent dis- charge of volcanic ashes, were dealing with " a true cause." The fine floatieg residue of such ashes would undoubtedly be able to produce the effects ascribed to it. Still the mechanism to produce the morniugand even- ing red, though of variable efficiency, hi alwayti preeent in the atmosphere. I Imo° seen displays, equal in magnificence to the finest of those above referred to, when there was no special voleanic outburst to which they could be referred. It was the long - continued repetition of the glows which rendered the volcanic theory highly probable. T. Headland, for several years private ecretary to Charles Dickens'died at East- ourniN Eng, i recently, at the age of 8. e was buried with public honors. Mr, eadland accompanied the famoue novelist n his Arnoriantour4 and was fall of anee. otee et his employer. 0 cl eVattalatiBUBMBUIMBaragzstmg=stutm ADVERTISERS can learn the exaot cost of any proposed line of advertising in American papers by addressing Geo. P.. Rowell & Co., svspeper Advertising 73urosaa, .•0 prune St, New York. Woad t.ciats. for 100 -Page Parruottlet. 'rho Groat English PreseriptIon. asecossful Medicine need over years in thousands of masa Qum Spermaterrhoci, Nervosa Weakness, &Missions, Impotency and all diseases caused by abuse. eer;sigendiveretioa, or over-exertioa. tArrest s guaranteed to Oteretalsga ea °there Lak yo w Druggist for is. Groat Eleartlidi PresarfoRon, take se substitute. One peektege 114. Mc 85, by mall. Write for Pamphlet. Address Eureka Okesnieal Oo., Detroit, teh. For sale by J. W. Browning, C. Luta, Exeter, and all druggists. Why She Was Still a Widow. A widow who had come from the East and established herself in a Western town was visited by a friend from the old home. "Well, bow do you like it out here, any way ?" Not very well." "People too rough for you ?" "They are not only rough—they are pe- culiar; and, in fact, the men are greatly overrated. " lo what way ?" "Well, I'll make a plain statement and let you draw your own conclusions. I had read in the newspapers that women were in demand out here, and I naturally expected some little attention." " Didn't you receive it ?" "Wait until I got through with my state- ment, please. 1 bough e me a light-colored wig, got it new set of teeth, had my glass eye reglazed, and plunged into the mad whirl of society. That was six months ago, and I am still a widow." " Pretty bad, I -must admit ; but didn't you get any proposals ?" "Why didn't you take him ?" "Influenced too much by appearances, doubtless. Perhaps I chid wrong in rejeeting him, hue I was girlish in my notions. He had only one low was earnest blind, was un- doubtedly addicted to the use of liquor, was in debt, swore considerably, chewed navy tobacco and was a great liar." Bushing Trade. "Yon mud push matters a little, Jam,esat, said the druggist to the new boy. By calling a customer's attention to this article and that article, you can often area sales." "Yes, sir," responded the new boy and then he hastened to wait upon an elclecly female who -wanted a Stamp. " Anythin' elsi e, mum ?' nquired the am- bitious boy politely; "hair dyo, cosmetic, face powder, rheumatic drops, belladonna, mole destroyer—" The elderly female licked the stamp vi- ciously, arid bit the door open as the weht out. The number of languages and dialects tipoken in the world amounts te 3064. The inhabitants of the globe profess more than 1000 diffeteet religions. The number a mu, , about citzal t,o the women. The average of human life es about 33 years, An Anglican curate performed the mar- riage oorelnony kr a child eleven years old in leensingeon, England, reeently.