Loading...
The Exeter Times, 1887-12-1, Page 2esesse. sere!, es, e e IIIITTIE'S FATHER V.--(CJeefeneuen.) " fa don't leave off, reether, Do tell me. new Ion g did yen have him ?" " Six weeks then—and afterwards One fortnight at Dieppe.. He was not free. He bad an o Id uncle, General Egremont, who wits sick and hot tempered, and he was -obliged t o keep everything seoret from, him, and there fore from everybody else, And eo I was to live at Dieppe, while he went out to take c are of his uncle, and you !snow -- you kno "Yes , 1 know, dear mother. Bee I am euro he was easing somebody else, and it was sou oble death 1 And I know how Aunt Ursa c ame to Dieppe, and how I—your own lit tle Erenchwornan—came to take care of you. And haven't we been jolly without any of these fine relations that never looked after y au all this time 1 Besides, you know he is v ery likely to be on a lonely coral ;Leland., and will come home yet. I often think he is." "My dear child, 1 here been happier than I d eserved," said Alice Egrernont, dry. int; her eyes. "Bet oh I Nettie. I hope you will be e wiser woman than your mother." "Come, don't go on M that way 1 Why, rve such advantages 1 l've Miss Mary, and Aunt Creel, and Mr. Spyers, and Mr. Dut- ten, and you, you poor little thing, had nobody 1 One good thing is, we shalt get die water -soldier. Mr. Dutten needn't 'come'for he's like a, cat, and. won't soil his 'boats, but Gerard is dyiug to get another took at the old ruin. He can't make up his mind about the cross on one of the stone- ooffin lids, so h011 get it out of the pond for us. I wonder when we can go. To -night is choir practice, and to -morrow is cutting- -out day. Mies Headworth was /20t sorry that the sociabilities of the friends did not Uwe her alone -With her niece all that even- -beg, or the next day, when there was a . grand cutting -out for the working party,— . sat operation always performed in the holt- .,days, Miss Headworth had of late years .been excused from it, and it gave her the opportunity she wanted of a consultation with Mr..Dutton. ' He was her prime ad- viser in everything, from her investments (such as they were) to the ementricitiee of her timepieces; and as the cuckoo -clock had Seat night cuckooed all the hours round in .succession, no one thought it wonderful that este should send a twisted note entreating •/aim to call as early as he could in the after - axiom. Of course Nuttie's chatter .had pro- ..silahnerl the extraordinary visitors, and it -.needed not the old lady's dash under Con an atrocious altar' to bringhim to her litele eliawing-room es soon as he could quit his .deek. Perhaps he hastenedhis work with a hope in his hears which he durst not ex - Trees, but the agitation on the usually Timid face forbade him to entertain it for an thstaut, and he only said. "So our expedi- aen has led to unforeseen consequences, ii8s Headworth." And then she answered under her breath, as if afraid of being over- heard : "Mr. Datton, my poor chilkt does not know it yet, but the man is alive!" Mr. Dutton compressed his lips. It was t he greater shook, for he had actually made beeniries at the Yacht Club, but the officials t2ere either had not been made aware of the reappearance of the two Egremonts, or they did not thiak it worth while to look ibayend the record which declared that all —liandethad perished, and the4connectien of the uncle and nephew with the Yacht 'Club hadi not been renewed. Presently he said, "Then her was a right instinct. There is reason to be thankfel." Miss Headworth was too full Of her own` anxieties to heed his causes for thankfulness. She told what she had heard from Lady, Irjekaldy and from Mark Egremont, and asked' counsel Whether it could be Alice'a duty to return to the man who had -deserted her, or even to accept anything from him. °There was an impetuous and in- efigrant spirit at the bottom of the old lady's heart, in spite of the subdued life she had led for so many years, and she hardly brooked the measured considerate manner d'n which Captain Egremont made the first move. At present no one was acting but youngMark, and, as Mr. Dutton observed, it was not a =atter in which a man was very likely to submit to a nephew's dicta- tion. There was certainly no need for Mrs. Egremont to force her presence on him. Bat Mr. Dutton did think that for her own .setze and her child's there ought to be full recognition of their rights, rind that this ,should be proved by their maintenance. 4' I imagine that Ursula may probably be a considerable heiress, and her rights must not be sacrificed." "Poor little girl I Will it be for her .happiness? I doubt it greatly I" "01 that I suppose we have no right to ;judge," said Mr. Dutton, somewhat tremul- ously. "Justice is what we have to look to, and to allow Nuttie to be passed .overwould be permitting a slur to be cast on her and her mother." "I see that," said Miss Headworth, with an effort. "1 suppose I am after all a sel- ash, faithless old woinan, and it is not in sey hands after all. But I mustprepaie nay poor Alice for what may be coming." "If any terms are offered to her, she had better put the matter into the lawyer's amide. Debson would be a, safe man to =deal with." Miss Headworth was amazed that he— who had helped her in many a little ques- tion bordering on law—shonld not proffer his aid now in this greatest stress. He was a resolute, self-controlled man' and. she asever guessed Pt the feeling thatmade him udge himself to be no fitting champion for Alice Egremont against her husband. Ever eince, ten years ago, he had learned that giis beautiful neighbour did not regard her - toll sM certainly a vgdow as to venture to seven her heart to any other love, he had lived patientlyon, content to serve her as a trustworthy friend, and never betraying the secret hope so long cherished and now en- tirely crushed. Re was relieved to escape from the inter- view, and thepoor old lady remained a lit. 1e more certain as to her duty perhaps, but •with a certainty that only made her more unhappy, and she was so restless and nerv- us that, in the middle of the evening's reading of Archbishop Trench's Lectures on History, Alice suddenly broke off in the ' very middle of a sentence and exclaimed, " Aunt Creel 1 you are keeping something from me." Miss Headword' made a faint attempt by saying something about presently, and glancing with her epee to nadieate that it was to be reserved till after Nuttie'e' bed- time, but the young lady comprehended the Cigna and exciaiined, "Never mind me, Atint Ursel,—I know all about mother ; she told me last night." "It is 1" broke in Mrs. Egremont, Who bed been vvatchibt her aunt's face. "Yon have heard of Oh, my fathet ! You really have 1" cried Nettie. "Then he really was on the deeert ieland all this time I Wan quite sure .0.c it, Hoefr delightfel l She jumped up aud looked at the door, as if she expeoted to eee him. appear that inete. nte olad skins like Hobintion Crowe, hist her lanot's nervoes agitation found vent in "a sharp reproof : " Nottie, hold your tongue, and' don't be sueh e foolish child, er I shall send you out of the room this inetant 1" But aunt 2" gesped Alice, unable to bear the suepenee. " Yes, my poor dear child, Capteio Egre- mont with the General got off with some of the crew ixi e boat when the Ninon was He spent a good ninny years abroad with the old man, but he has now inherited the family' place, and is living these." Miss Reo,clworth felt as it ehe had fired a cannon and looked to see the effect. " Ali if we could have stayed at Dieppe!" said Dirs. Egremont. "But we did write beck to say where we could be heard of," - "That waa of no nee. Mark found no traces of us when, he went thither," "Did he send Mark?" " No. My dear Alice, I must not conceal helm you that this is all Mr. Mark Egee- s doing. Re seems to have been help- ing his uncle with his papers when he came on the evideucte of your marriage, and, remembering you as he does, he forced the confession of it from the captain, and of hie own accord set ferth to discover what had beoome of you and to see justice done te,QU." Dear little Mark I" said she; "he al- ways wa,a such an affeotienete little boy," "And now, my dear, you must consider hew you will receive any advances on his part." "Oh, Aunt Ursel, don't 1 1 can't talk now. Please let me go to bed. Nettie, dear, you need not come yet." The desire for solitude, in which to realize what she had heard, was overpowering, and she fled away in the summer twilight, leav- ing Nuttie with wide open eyes,looking after her vanished hero and desert island "My poor Alice I" sighed the old lady. "Aunt Ursel exclaimed Nuttie, "was —I mean—is ray father a good or a bad man?" "My dear, should a daughter ask 811011 a question ?"' "Aunt Ursel, I can't help it. I think I ought to know all about it," said Nuttie gravely, putting away her chilclishnesa and sitting down by her aunt. "1 did riot think so much of it when mother told me they eloped, because, though I know it was very wrong, people do do odd things sometimes when they are very much in love (she said it in a superior patronising tone that would have amused Miss Headworth very much at any other time); and it has not spoilt mother for being the dearest, sweetest, best thing in the world, and, besides, they h Id neither of them any fathers or mothers to disobey. But, thee, when I found he was so dld, and that he kept it a secret, and must have told stories only for the sake of money (uttered with extreme contempt,) I didn't like it. And if he left her as Theseus left Ariadne, or Sir Lancelot left Elaine, I— I don't think it is nice. Do you think he only pretended to be lost in the Ninon to get -rid of her, or that he could not find "The Ninon was really reported lost with all on board," said Miss Headworth. "That was ascertained. He was saved by a Chelan ship, and seems to have been a good while making his way back to Europe. I had taken care that our address should be known at Dieppe, but it is quite possible that he may not have applied to the right people or that -they may notilia,ve preserved my:letter, so thee; we, cannottfeel mare that he was to bla,mesa "If he had been worth anything at all, he would have moved heaven and earth to find her 1" cried Nuttie; "and you said yourself it was all that Mark's doing 1" " He seems to 'be a very upright and generous rang man, that Mr. Mark Egre- mont," said Miss Headworth, a whole ro- mance as to Nuttie's future destiny sweep- ing senas her mind in an instant, with a I mental dispensation to first cousins in such a case. "I think you will find him a • staunch companion ever against his own interests. Perceptions came across Nuttie. "Oh, then I am a sort of lost heiress, like people in a story! I see 1 But, Aunt Ursel, *hat do you Munk will happen ?" "My dear child, I cannot guess in the least. Perhaps the Egremont property will not concern you, and only go to male heirs. That would be the best thing, since in any case you must be sufficiently provided for. Your father must do that." "But about mother ?" "A proper provision must be insisted on for her,'' said Miss Headworth. It is no use, however, to speculate on the future. We cannot guess how Mr. Mark Egre- mont's communication will be received, or whether any wish will be expressed for your mother's rejoining yonr father. In such a case the terms must be distinctly under- stood, and I have full trust both in Mr. Mark and in Lady Kirkaldy as her cham- pions to see that justice is done to you both." "I'm sure he doesn't deserve that mother should go to him." "Nor do I expect that he widl wish it, or that it would be proper; but he is bound to give her a handsome maintenance, and I think most probably you will be asked to stay with your uncle and cousins," said Miss Headworth, figuring to herself a kind of Newstead Abbey or some such scene of oonsta,nt orgies at Bridgefteld Egremont. "1 shall accept nothing from the family that does not include mother," said Nuttie. "Dear child, I foresee many trials, but you must be her protector." "That I will,' said Nuttie; and in the gallant purpose she went to bed, to find her mother either asleep or feigning slumber with tears on her cheek. her ?" CHAPTER VL THE WATER -SOLDIER. "Presumptuous maid, with looks intent, Again she stretched, again she bent, Nor knew the gulf between."--GMAy. It all seemed like a dream to Ursula, per- haps likewise to her mother, when they rose to the routine of daily life with the ordin- ary interests of the day before them. There was a latent unwillingness in Mrs. Egre- rnont's mind to discuss the subject with either aunt or daughter ; and when the post brought no letter, Umiak, after a mo- ment's sense of flatness, was relieved, and returned to her eager desire to hurry after the water -soldier, It was feasible that very afternoon. Mary Nugent came in with the intelligence, "Axid can Gerard come? or hall We only look at it," Yes, Gerard can come, and so will Mr. Dutton," amid Mary, who, etanding about half -way between Mit. Egremont and her daughter, did not think herself quite a suffi- cient chaperon. " He will look en like a hen at her duck - Hugs," said Nuttie. "It is cruel to take him, poor man 1" ." Meantime, "'lag°, do you like se hout of Marie Stuart 9" "Oh, thatk you!" But she whispered, Aube Ursel, may I tell her ?" 1 "Ask your mother, my dear." Leave Willi given, half reluctioatly/ and with a prohibition against mentioning the subject to any one else, but both mother and fume had confidence in Mary Nugeat's wie, dom and discretion, so tho two friends mat on the wall together, and Ursula poured out her heart. Poor little girl ! she waagreatly discomfited at the venIshing of her neble vision of the heroic eelf-deeoted fether,. wad ready on the other hand to believe him a villain, like Bertram Hisingham, or " the Pirate," being possessed by this idee, on ac- count of his ik-est Indian voyages. At any rate, she was determined not to be accepted or acknowledged without her mother, and was already rehearcieg letters of refusel Miss Mary listened and wondered, feeling sometimes as if tide were Els much is romance as the little yacht goiug down with the burning ship; end shen came back the re- collection that there was a reel fact that Nuttie had ei fa,ther, and that it was en- tirely ncertain what part he might take, or what the girl might be called on to do. Cenudertng anxiously these bearings; of the question, she scarcely heard what she was Irequired to aseent to, in one of Nuttie's eager, "Don't you think so ?" " 14 dear Wattle," she said, rousing her- self, "what I do think is that it will all probably .turn out exactly contrariwise to OOP inuigmations, so I believe it would be wisest to build up as few fancies as possible, but only to. pray that you may have a right judgment In all things, and have strength to do what is right, whatever you may see that to be," "And of course that will be to nick by motion" "There canbe little doubt of that, but the how? No, dear, do not let us devise all sorts of hours when we have nothing to go upon. That would be of no use, and only perplex you when the time comes. It would be much better to "do the nexte thinge," and read our Marie Stuart," Nuttie pouted a little, but submitted, though she now an then broke into a trans. letion with "You know mother will never stand up for herself," or "Thy think I shall be asked to stay with the Egremonts, but I must work up for the exam."' However, the school habit of concentrat- ing her attention prevailed, and the study quieted Nuttie's excitement. The expedition took place as arranged. There was a train whioh stopped so that the party could. ge down by it, and the distance was IlOt too great -for walking back. , Ma. Dutton met them on the platform, well armed with bis neat silk umbrella, and his black poodle, Monsieur, trotting solemn- ly after,him. Gerard Godfrey bore mater- ials for an exact transcript of the Abbot's monumental cross, his head being full of church architecture, while Nuttie carried a long green tin case, or vasculum as she chose to call it, with her three vowels, U 4 E, and the stars of the Little Bear conspicuous- ly paintei on it in white. "You did not venture on that the other day," said. Mr. Dutton. "How much of the park do you mean to carry away in ix?" "Let me take it," said Gerard politely. "No, thank you. You'd leave it behind/ while you were pottering over the mould- ings." "Y�u are much more likely to leave it behind yourself." "What—with my soldier, my Stratiotes; in it ? I think I see Myself." " Give it to me," said Gerard. "01 course I can't see you carrying a great thing like that." ' " Can't you, indeed ?" - is tea "Gently, gently, my dear," said Miss Mary, as the young people. seemed very near a skirmish, and the train was sweeping up. Then there was another small scuffle, for Nuttie had set her heart on the third class; but Mr. Dutton had taken second- class tickets, and was about to hand them into a carriage whence there had just emerged a very supercilious black -mous- tached valet, who was pulling out a leather - covered dressing -case, while Gerard was con- soling Nuttie by telling her that Monsieur never deigned to go third class. "It is a, smoking carriage," said Hiss Nugent, on the step. " Pah ! how it smells," as she jumped back. "Beautiful backy—a perfect nosegay," said Gerard. " Trust that fellow for having the best." "His mater's, no doubt," suggested Mr. Dutton. "You'd better go in it, to enjoy his re- version," said Nuttie. "And where's my escort, then ?" "Oh, I'm sure we don't want you." "Nuttie, my dear," expostulated Miss Nugent, dragging her into the met carriage. "You may enjoy the fragrance still,'' said Nuttie when seated. " Do you see— there's the man's master; he has stood him up against that post, with his cigar, to wait while he gets out the luggage. I daresay you can get a whiff if you lean out far enough," "1 evil that figure is a study !" said Gerard. "What What is it that he is so like ?" "Oh 1 I know," said Nutvie. "It is Lord Frederick Verisopht, and the bad gentlefolks in the pictures to the old num- bers of Dickens that you have got, Miss Mary. Now, isn't he? Look! only Lord Frederick wasn't fat." Nuttie was in a state of excitement that made her . peculiarly unmanageable, and Miss Nugent was very grateful to Mr. Dut- ton for his sharp though general admoni- tion against staring, while, under pretext of disposIng of the umbrella and the vasculum, he stood up, eci as to block the window till they wore starting. - Oro nu CONTINUED.) . Too Late. Mr. George Kennett, the Siberian trav- eller and writer, has been blacklisted by the Russian Government and will not be permitted to re-enter the Czar's dominions. "1 expected, of course," says Mr, Kennan, "to be put on the Russianblacklist. I am only thankful that I suceeded in crossing the frontier with all my material and papers coming this way, The outside of the Rus- sian frontier line is a. good enough side for me at preeent. I became satisfied before got half through Siberia that I should never be permitted to go there again, and that after the publication of my papers no other foreigner would be allowed to make inves- tigations there, and I lost no possible op- portunity to secure accuracy and thorough - nese. I brought back morethan fifty pounds of notes, papers and original documents, many of the latter from secret Government archives, besides 500 or 600 foolecep pages of manuscript prepared for me by political earlier; itt all parts of Siberia, and covering the meet noteworthy episodes in their lives. I visited every cenvict mine in Siberia, and every convict prison except one, and I be- lieve I know the exile system better than most officers of the exile achninisttation, and far better than any outsider. I can regard the blacklisting, theeefore, with a certalit degree of complacency. The stable door ie looked, but the horse has been stolen—and I've geot him." A good man may serve the ptiblie andI himself in any stati ' PLEADING ViTITH A SAVAGE KING. Efforts of the 'English to Stop the Terrible Anon* Raids. Maey yeas- e ago a large number of ad. venturesome &due left their own country and travelled hundreds, of miles earth, until they reaohed the region of Lake Nyasse. There they settled and muitiplied, frowe of them making their homes among the high- lands west of the big lake, and others tra- velling around the north end of the lake and settling on the northeaat aide of it. They still wear on their heads the ring that de- notes a Zulu warrior and they speak the Zulu langeage in a correpted toms, They are the best fighters of the N,yassa region and have long been the terror of all the other tribes living around the lake. They travel with great celerity, and sometimes go a hundred miles or more ou Wave and cettle stealing raids. Large regions have been al most wholly depopulated by these terrible raids, and the rernnauts of several once prosperous tribes are now living on moun- tain tops eking out a most miserable exist- ence, and never free from the fear that their enemies will seek them out, even in the fastnesses to which they have retreated. Ever since Livingston first visited the Nyasa& region we have heard of these terri- ble Angolni west of the lake. Every year the missioearies at Blantyre, south of Lake Nyassa, have sent home reports of Angoni raids in the fertile distriete around them. Several missionaeies have visited them, and two years ago Mr. Montagu Kerr, formerly a Wall street broker, apent some time in their chief town and vsrote,an enter- taining deecripton of these remarkable peo- ple. It has long been evident that unless their raids were slopped the work of depop- ulation would go on until thousands of square miles were swept clear of iehabitatets. The pitiful reports' sent to England by the missionaries Induced the British Govern- ment recently to send Mr. Hawes, the Eng- lish-Consnl in the Nyasa territory, to the King of the .Angoni, to see if he could not be persuaded to give up his terrible raids. The King was notified that the rep&senta- tive of a great Queen was coming to see him, and he reoloved Consul Hawefewith much. display Of good will and with all the honors he could render. He told Mr. Hawes that he wished to live on good terms with the English, and he said tbat as far as Angoni were concerned he would guaran- tee the safety of all the missionary sta- tions. He was not quite so ready to promise to discontinue lais incursions among the tribes south and east of the great lake, but after many discussions of blie, matter he final- ly promised that his warriors should net cross the Shire River, through which the waters of Nyamsa pour into the Zp,mbesi. It remains to be seen whether his promise is worth anything. If he keeps his word, a very large district' in one of the fairest parte of Africa that was once the home of a large and comparatively peaceful population will in future be spared the terrible Angoni raids. It is in this region that the African Lakes Company has opened some coffee plantations, and quite a number of white men are there engaged in missionary and commercial pursuits Mr. Hawes says that the Anent yield the most implicit obedience to the commands pf their King, and he was impressed by the great consideration the King and all his offi- cers received from their people. Two Bad Men. Mr. Frith, R. A., in his recently-publishe ed autobiography, has an interesting re- miniscence of the Princess of Wales. When painting her portrait, he describes. himself as reduced to despair through diseovering that the illustrious young lady did not knove that the keeping her face in one position was necessary to enable an artist to catch a resemblance of it. "That first sitting caul ever forget? I did not date to complain till after two or three more fruitless at- tempts. With downright failure staring me in the face, I opened my heart to tin Prince of Wales. ,'You should scold her, said the Prince— e Just at this time tlis Princess was sitting for her bust to the cele- brated sculptor Gibson, R, A., in a. room at Marlborough House. I was sent for by the Prince, and, before I was admitted to an interview, I was shown into the sculp tor's studio, and found him waiting for a sitting from the Princess. The bust was already he an advanced stage. I did not think it was very like, and, in reply to Gibson, said so. Well, you see," said Gibson, the Princess is a delighful lady; but she can't sit a bit." Just at this mo- ment I was summoned to the Prince,' whom I found with the Princess ; and I saw, or thought I saw, a sort of pretty smiling pout, eloquent of reproof and of half -anger with me. The Prince had something to show ine--photographs, I think—and then he led. the way to Gibson, the Princess a,nd I fol- lowing. No sooner did we find ourselves in the sculptor's presence than—after some re- marks upon the bust—the Prince said, How do you find the Princess sit, Mr. Gibson ?" 'Now,' thought I, 'if ever man was in an awkward fix, you are, Mr. Gibson; for, after what you said to me a few minutes ago, you cannot, in my pre- sence, compliment the beautiful model on her sitting.' The Prince looked at Gibson, and Gibson looked in dead silence at the Prince, and then at the Princess; he then looked again at the Prince, smiled, and shook his head. There, you see—you sit properly neither to Mr. Gibson nor to Mr. Frith." I do—I dol' said the lady. " You are two bad men!' " After this how- ever all smiled, and everything went well. lie Wasn't Odor mina. Mrs. Jonsing--" Wy, Sam, yo look tired. VV -at yo work so hard for ?" "We got to aril a libin." Mrs. .T.—" Wy don't you be a loafer ?" Sam--"Whars de bred and butter comin' from ?" Mrs. J.—" Wy, honey, go into politics and get a office." Sam—" Wet, me, American bawn, mix wid dose low white tresh,—dose Canuckers, dose Sootchers, and dose Irishers 1 You in - Ault me." Mr. Jones Makes a Proposal. Mr. Jones (in a voice slightly husky)— " Miss Smith, before I say good night I want to ask you—that is, I would—er.--er —do you think you could--er—" Miss Smith (faintly)—" Pray go on, Mr. Jones." Mr. Jones—" Could you, do you think— er—bring me a glees of ice water ?" One Thing Besides Pie. Guest—What yougot for dessert, evaiter? Waiter.—Dar's pie, sah. Guest --Nothing after pie? Waiter—No, sah ; nuffin' but feein' waitah. A Plausible Suggestion. Sharp -visaged Female (to grocer's boy)— "I've waited here so long, young man, that forgit what I cum for." GrOcet's Boy (meekly euggestive)---"Vraps it's winege,r, Munn" THE LIME -KILN CLUB. "If I war' to lib my life over agia I should Beek to be a philoaoplier," said Brother Gardner, as the thermometer marked ninety- eight degreee in Paradise Hall. "1 free apent a good sheer of de las' sixty y'ars fightin' philoeophy, en' feel dat it has bean de wese fur nio. If I had de chance to be- gin all ober agin I !should do differently. "As a baby, 1 should reason (int de mo' I slept de faster I would grow, an' de faster growed de sooner I'd got beyand babyhood. " Ae a child, I should reason dat bumps, thumps, falls au' heart-aehes war' cs pert isn' parool of my lot, an' de rim' I lied of 'ein de tuffer I would grow, "As a youth, I'd tole e bit of calk an figger isp dat Id git about so many lielsin's a week—hey about so many fights wid de boys--Vaen about so much rascality—be disappointed about so often. "As a youog man, I'd figger dat de world was heah bele' I was hesrd of ; diet I'd be stepped on about twice a week ; dat I couldn't reform nobody nor nuIliin'; dat de mo' anaiorte I wes to upeot thiege de mo' shoe -leather ,I'cl wear out ; dat de churches could be left to de preachers, an' de guv'. 'flout to de pollytishune. "As an ole man I'd feel dat what is re.' all right, I'd take my blizzards in de win- ter—my roastin' in de summer—births, deatha, joys, sorrows, fears, hopes an' all oat as sunthin' slat Mid to corne in dis life an' be put up wid to de best of our ability. You may figger an' figger, but I'm Millie you dat de man who kin find a vrallet in de road to -day ---lose his mule by death to-mor- rer--diskiber dat his wife has eloped de day arter an' tubi up at de reg'lar Friday eavenin' prayer meetin' in good shape am gwine to take a big sheer of disi world's comforts an' git to Realm jiat as soon as de rest of us. Let us now,pumeed wid de reg - 'tar order of bizness," ' • NOT ENOOITWEED. ' The Secretary announced a communica- tion from the Hon. Gigback Tayler, a resi- dent of one of the suburbs of Montgomery, Ala., known as "Vesuvius," stating his readiness to journey to Detroit and appear before the club and deliver his leoture on : "Is the world Growing Badder --She Is." He didn't want to maze any money out of the club, and would, therefore, come if all his expenses were paid and he was present- ed with a pair of two -shilling suspenders when he left for home. Pickles Smith, who had his Wheelbarrow stolen the other day, and, consequently, be- lieves in thsebadness of the world, moved that the terms of the speaker be aocepted, but the President waved him aside and said : "We kin not incouraige de Hon. gem'lan to put in an appearance. In de lust place de price am too high.; in de next,place, if de world am growin' badder we can't help it, an' his lecktuto won't make is any better. 'deed, I can't accept his conolushun at all. Now au' den some one inay break mto my hen -coop, pizenany dog or stick me wid a lead nickle, but de world in gineral can't be held to blame fur it. I believe we ar' growl& better—mu& better." A VAIN ATITAL. Some time since the branch club at Hali- fax bounced a member named Limited John- son for having declared his belief that the world was fiat. He was oven every oppor- tunity to retract and change his opinions, but he positively refused to do so. When Ms name was erased from the books he made a,n appeal to ihb ho'nfie" club to be reinstated. This appeal was referred to the Committee on Astronomy for investiga- tion and report, and the ,Chairman now reported.: "When a pusson stands in de middle of a cottbn field an' squints dis way an' dat way it 'pears to him dat de world am flet. We dban' blame Brudder Johnson for be- lievin' his eyes, but we blame him fur not believin' in geography. Geography says de world am rowed. All the white folks say so. All de intelligent cull'ud people say so. It's sartin den dat de world am round. •A member of a lodge clat believes otherwise wouldn't stop dar. He'd soon assert dat de world wobbled instead of turned, an' dat de moon was hung up der' on purpose to uaake onions grow at night. He'd keep de lodge stirred up and dverybody mad, art' de result kin easily be predicted. De offishul appeal of Limited Johnson to be reinstaten atn, claifo' denied, an' de aokshun of de Halifax branch in droppin' him from de rolls is sus- tained by a large majority." On motion of Trustee Pullback the report was accepted and adopted. LESS PUMMELING—MORE WORE - A communication from the Rev. Moses Green, of Franklin, Ky., was then announo ed. The Rev. Green stated that he was a preacher in search of a flock, and wanted to know what the chances were in the North. The ranks were not only overcrowded in the South, but the recompense in dollars and cents was so small that colored preach- ers had the hardest kind of work to live and maintain their dignity. "1 reckon dot's a fackt," eaid Brother Gardner as he scanned the communication. " De Seekretary will answer him kindly but firmly. Let hi -a be informed dat der' am no vacancies in de . No'th/ an' lot him under- stand dot it am our advice dat he orter preach les an' work mo'. If ebery cull'd man in de South who feels dab he orter preach could . make a libin' dat way dor' worldn't be 'nuff folks left to chop out de cotton an' hoe de co'n. Dar's too much preachin' and too many preachers down dar'. A reasonable amount of religion am a good thing to hev, an' none of us should neglect it, but between two services on Sunday, two prayer.meetin's a week„ de Saturday holiday an' gwine to de depot in de mawnin' an' to de postoffis at night, de cull'd brftdder south of de Ohio Riber has 'got about all he kin attend to. It mought not be a bad thing fur hitn to drop some of his religun, an' fur seberal thousand preachers to pick up de hoe ate go to work." PROORESSING SATISVACTORILY. Whalebone Howiter then secured the floor to make an inquiry. He wanted to know if tue fishery dispute with Canada had yet been settled. He hadn't had a good night's sleep since the talk of war, and his wife had quit buying fish with a Canadian look around the gills for fear they had been poisoned by the enemy. " De Cluer am happy to state in reply," said the President, " dat de matter am un- der advisement an' 7progressin' in a eatis- factory manter. Dar won't be any fott between dis lientry an' Canada an' de time am not fur distant when de Yitificee an' do Canuek will once mo' gib on de seine log an' spit on deir bait in unison. Let tis go home.". Miss Clara Noon who teaches school at Sabina, Ohio, caeght a pupil in a falsehood, and, to punish him for lying, scrubbed out hie mouth with soap and water. The boy's parents objected to this form of punishment and preferred charges. Tho trustees, after a bitter trial, upheld the young school - mann. SC1E1TIPIC SCRAPS. The amouut of force exerted by heat and cold in expeesion and contraction of -metal is equal to that whioh would be required to Ptretell or comproes it to tile same elttellt by mechanical ineause Applying certain measurements to a ' sOttreely visible film of +silver, Herr Wiener arrives at the conclusion that no less than 125,000,000 molecules of silver Must be laid in a line to ineasure an inch. An article called flexible g,less is now made by 'fealties; rApor of proper thieknesa in copal vareish' thus =Meg it transper- eat, polishieg itwhen dry,.:And rubbine 11 with ()arnica) otone, A layer of polublo grass is theu applied and rubbed with salt: The surface thus produced is said to be as per- fect as that of ordinary glaiis, An English observer r000mmends the lo- comotive as a cheap hygrometer for farmers, and others living near railroads, When the escapittg steam remains long suspended tho air is near its point of saturation with moire ture, but wheu the steeinquickly disappear, as if ewellowed up, the weather is dry and there is little prospect of rain. Some curious results produced by explod- ing marked blocks of gun cotton on flat plates of wrought iron have been described. by Mr. C. E. Monroe, The gun, ootton blocks were placed with the lettered side down, and the letters etempecl in relief ap- peared in relief on the iron after explosion, While, on the other hend, the letters de- pressed, in the gun cotton were also de- pressed on the iron plate. „ In addition to supplying crops with the i necessary mosture, ram has a dzstinot man- . . tidal value. At Rothamsted, thewell-known farm. of Sir John B. Lewes, it has been shown that, with an annual rainfall of little less than thirty-two inches, each acre cf land receives every year in the rain water over fourteen pounds pure chlorine, seven- teen pounds of sulphuric acid, and between two and three pounds of ammonia, In one of his teatimes before the Royal Institute London, Professor Lodge illus- trated the lately -discovered fact that smoke and dust are removed by electricity by ex- hibiting a couple of glass jars filled with smoke and dust, and which were instantly rendered clear by discharging through them a current of electricity. He makes the in- teresting suggestion whether a similar dis- charge of electricity, en a large scale, over London would be as effective. Lime Instead of Cremation. Cremation seems to make but slow pro- gress, and comes, indeed,so violently into conflict with popular prejudices and beliefs that there is little chance of its gaining a footing in this country for the next fifty or hundred years. Meanwhile our cemeteries . are overflowing, and some improved method of disposing of the dead is an imperative ne- cessity. Shall I be shockinganybody if I suggest that in all cemeteries quicklime should be used, and.that strong oak coffins should be discarded in favor of light vele work receptacles? , The idea is suggest° y a curious piece of information conimunica d to me by an official of Newgate, where, as is well known, all murderers are buried in quicklime. When Lipslu was hanged the other day a grave was dug for him, as until, within the prison *idle; and, space there being limited, the spot selected foe the 'pur- peewee that wifere Wainvnikht wen -triad— - ten or twelve yearis ago. On the earth being dug into, only a faint streak of lime was found to mark -the place where the body of the notorious murderer of Harriet Lane was laid. Flash, bones, clothing, everyth g ad disappeared, and the soil was rnore as sweet as if it had. done nothing but ow 'macrame' and daisies. And, be it remem- bered, the disappearance of the body was, no douht, as complete at the end of three months as et the and of ten years. Of Dish himself there is now probably only a streak of lime left. What reasonable objec- tion could there be to the adoption of quick- lime as a purifier of our cemeteries Its only effect would be to hasten the dissolu- tion which we all know to be inevitable. The Value of Advertisements. Farmers and others who take papers eornetimes find fault with the publishers be- cause of the space taken up with advertise- ments. Are their objections well founded? And would the objectors meet the requir- ments if the publications they subscribe for discarded all advertising? Should this be done, the agricultural and other papers could not befurnished to subscribers for less than two or three times the present cost to them. Those who object to advertisements fozget that the advertisers are paying a part of the cost of publishing the paper. Then there is another feature to consider. Beside the actual cash value the subscriber gets from the advertiser in the lessened cost of the paper to hinn the aclvertisin g umns are by no mes,ns devoid of direct value to him as such. The writer can testify somewhat of this value, &rev° well remember with what pleasure and profit we looked over those columns in our more youthful days, and there learned of new farm tools and machines, and through them of new and improved methods of fadming. Often have we thcrught that by this, in a certain sense, course of object teaching we learned more than by reading the other department of the papers, We see, then, that besides the cash value of the advertising columns to each subscriber they have also an educa- tional value. Then as a moans of reference for those things which the readers are constantly wanting, the advertising columns have no „if mean value. How often does it lisping( that a person wants something not to be eV-- - tsined of the local dealers ; and by looking over the local advertisements of his papers; likely to contain such, he finde offered what ihiettevicatuttosilbsieen.ds for it and gets it with but "1 say, Harry, did you ask Hicke for that money yet ? ' "Yes," "What (lid he say ?" " Nothing. He just kicked me don stairs, and that's the last I heard. of it." Old Lady--" I'm sorry to hear a little boy' use such shocking language. Do you know what becomes of little boys who swear ?" Dey gits ter be hose ear deivere," "Bob, you say that you believe meet dim - eases are contagious. How long have you entertained, such notione ?" "Ever since I sat alongside of n blue-eyed girl and eaught the palpitation of the heart.' Sho—" Why do you look so unhappy, George? Don't you know we are one now?" Ile—" Yes, I've heard thatibefore, but when it comers to paying the weekly board bill thelandlord don't teem to think so." A noviee who attended n race said he didn't see why the runners should be so particular about a qutteter of a second at the end of it, when they kept the public waiting half ah hour for the beginning.