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The Exeter Times, 1886-8-19, Page 6
AND LOS WON OS: cgA.PrEtI Til. M er a Cottage The drowsy quietof . • iiiwee ix disturbed by the arrival of the ;fly, its oo. oupant, faint and pale, still lying back against the anahione. A middle-aged wo• men, in the neat white imp of a Frenoh servant, who was looking from the window, threw aspen the door and carne hastily aorosa. the veranda to the gate, exolaiming in Frenoh-- has ha enact ?' " Ah, madame, what pp. You are ill—you are epu"see. I knew what it would be when I let you go out alone. Why did I let you go ?" " Haub, Cecile 1' returned her mistress. "Bid the man wait, and come with me, Coolie," she exolaineed, gutting the good woman's lamentations short, and closing the door of the room ae soon ae they had both entered, " something has happened, " Oh, Heaven"—oatohing the old womenie halide in both here as ehe .spoke—" some- thing terrible has happened, Cecil l I have seen—him 1" " Sainte in Heaven 1 ejaoulated the wo- man, starting baok. " Where ? Oh, my dear mistreaa, where ?" " A have seen him at the church—at the altar—with a fair golden•halred girl, And he was married to her this morning. De you hear, C aotle ? He wee married to her 1" "Married 1" The woman stared, with dropped j ew and distended eyes, at her mistreaa as the words Dame brokenly from her white lips. " Married 1" she repeated, In a breathless, awestruck tone. " Yee, Cecile—quick 1 There's ne time to lose. Give me my desk—my keys. Put en year bonnet. Oh, quick—hasten 1" mho exclaimed in a tone of agony, as she turned to the travelling -clock on the mantel.' piece. " It Is ten minutes past one, and the train leaves at half pest, the man said," a' What train 1 What man?" 3 have no time to toll you. Make your- melf ready ; Dome baok to me," She wrote rapidly for a few minutes ; then ahe folded her letter, and was ready as the old servant entered the room. " Come," she commanded, leading the way to the door. "' But yon are i11, my angel—the old pain. " Yes, it is there "—her mistress breath - cd heavily as she hastened en. " But I •oannet stay. If I have only strength enough 1 To the railway etatien," she said 'te the man ae ehe re-entered the carriage ; and drive at your gniokeat 1" She sat panting, rigid ; the old servant looked anxiouely into her face, touching her cold hands, and uttering little broken ex• olamatione of dismay and anxiety, as they jolted through the streets of the town and up the long hill to the station. Had it ever been eo long 1 Would the tired etumbling horse ever mount it The station came into eight at last. A carriage, with white herses bedecked with wedding -favours, !toed at the door. The lady Bank back. " I osnnot," she gasped ; " I have no more strength. Take the letter, Cecile— give it to him ; bring him here to me I I— I— Oh, Heaven, if I had only—Ge— go 1" ehe commanded, pushing the maid from her. " Why de yen stay ? There is the bell. In another moment it will be toe late. Oh, go 1" Was it not indeed already tee Iate 1 The woman sped swiftly en her errand, jostling porters and paaaengers as she ran up the platform. A footman, with a white favor at hie but- ton -hole, steed bowing at the epen doer ofd first class carriage, marked conspicuously— "Reserved." Cecile dashed up to it. Oaly a lady was there—golden-haired, fair, and pale. Cecile looked round hurriedly—Ce- cile had her own ideas as to the most effioa- oloue manner of exeouting her commission. The footman bowed for the last time and walked away. Ceolle and the lady were alone. " Yon—yon are the bride 1" the Frenoh- woman demanded in her broken English. "Mr. Danvers —" " Yee." She epeke Iletlesely, with enly a little weary surprise. " Oh, read this, madame 1" She held the written paper epen before the eyee of the young girl. " head, madame, and come with me. Quick "—as the seoend bell wounded—" read, foe the sake ei le bon .Dieu 1" The startled bride took the paper from the hand of the agitated woman, and glanc- ed hurriedly at its contents. " This carriage le reserved. I mast trouble yen to find another place," spoke a voice behind Cecile. A atreng hand put her hastily aside without looking at her, j net as the guard, running tip, closed the carriage deer with a bang and an imperative— " Take your seats. Time's up." In fact the train was already in metion— the bridegroom had narrowly missed lesing his place, Cecile could see him bending across to the golden -haired lady as the en• gine steamed faster and faster en its way out of Iter reach. So her mission had fail- ed 2 She etood staring atter the train as it glid- ed swiftly out of sight ; then she walked baok slowly off the platform, beating her hands and muttering her prayers in French es she went. The porters nudged each other and grin- ned ae she passed. " The foreign woman was " crazy," they concluded. Bat she never heeded them ; she was too full of her trouble. Her mistress was watching for her with her hands premed spinet her side, and her breath coming heavily from between her parted lipe. Coolie shook her head sorrow- fully as ehe came towards the carriage, She has seen it—the letter. I gave it to her. And then he oame up and pushed me away without looking at me—if be had only looked at me !—and the train went on. I could do no more. It was net my fault." - " You gave It not to him ? Yon spoke net with him?' " Hew could I ? He was net there. It was only the lady, alone." " They are gone ?" the lady gasped. , " Yes, gone, Oh, how oan I tell where ? 1 bad no time, But, oh, my beautifulone, you are ill again 1" oho cried, as her mle- tress's head fell heavily against her arm. "I knew that it would be so—that it would kill her. Close the carriage "—to the driver— " and take us home—such home as we hawse, in this cold, without -heart country, where the men are so wicked menders that it le marvel the bon Dieu lets them live, even in their fogs and misery," The last words were muttered in Frenoh as ehe pillowed on her breast her.mistromee head and bathed her cold forehead with the oontente of a bottle which ahe drew frons her pocket. The long afternoon heurepassed away dlewly whilst the lady lay gasping upon ber ptlows, her ages fixed wietfuliy on ene 'clock which Coolie had placed a .n thetable before her, „ He does net Dome, she whispered, when the shadows :lengthened and the inn* ehino Changed from gold to. orlmsen.. , " He eheald be here How, ,Soon he willbe tow late. Collo turned to the window with a groan. If her arrow bad reached ite mark he might: be here now at any moment, And hie oon- ing would bring batik life to the fading We abs could net bear to look et. But the houre stole away, and the wattiug•women'e tart hope died a lingering, reluotant death, "It has killed her l" she said to herself, wrin Jngiher hands in her deepalr. Yea, spoke her mietreee, as if reading; the unspoken exolamation, "J4 has killed me. If it had only been sooner 1- Why did we speak, Cecile ? It was soaroely worth. while, But it hie done no harm. She will. not believe—why should ehe, She levee him, Shehas tern the paper and thrown it away, and he knows nothing, and mho le smiling into hie faoe now, et this moment, and—and I am content. It will be over soon, and it le well eo. I have lived too long, Cecile—just one day too long." Only Ceofle'e mobs simmered as ehe leaned her forehead against the window -sash. Then a breeze stole up and whispered amonget.the olematim•bleems and nutted the leaves of the Virginian oreeper, while the warm glowing day wax dying in crimson glory, Decile, my friend—mylaet, best friend," said the straggling volae, " you will tyke me baok to the grave ander the magnolia - tree, I could net rest away from it. That le all mine—my own. And. I have left thee all -it is little for the love and the fidelity. And you will be silent, Cecile, and bury my poor life with mo for emir, Promise me this, my. friend." " Ir he never to know ? Is she--" " Na, never, Cecile 1 Would you have i wo lives ruined, twe hearts broken? That would be ornel---cruel 1" She had raised herself, and was speaking rapidly in her excitement. " Let her be happy—the young innocent bride ; and perhaps in his happiness he may remember—he may re- pent." He, the scelerat —the wretoh—the Heaven • forgotten 1" the woman buret forth, lifting her hand with a fierce imprecation, fired by her hot Southern blood. " Hush, Cecile 1 Do net nurse him. I oannet bear it. I—Ceolle—I—love him. I die joyfully, for my death will bring'him happiness. Obey me, my friend. Take me home and lay me beside that grave ; and write my name with that name, No date, Cecile ; only my name—nothing mere. I can do this for him—the last --the last 1" Her faoe lighted np. She put eat her hand and drew Coolie to her, " Promise me. Lay your hand on my heart, your lips en my lips. Yon love me, Ceolle. Yeu will not refuse me ? You will do this ? You will be client ?" Then Cecile, weeping, promised. The stars came out ; a silver planet mir- rored Iteelf in the rippling water ; the hum and eohe of busy human life died away into a restful stillness, soothed but not broken by the soft whisper of the ebbing tide, Only a solitary lounger paoed slowly up and down the quiet stretch of beaoh, or stood watohing the silver gleaming of the receding el, Perhaps her indifference only etlmalat' IIQ ed hie 'admiration the more; lndil%re. ,.a hi was a new experience to m,, and difii oultles goo a asst to'purpult. 1 was m Mrs Da a aina a dowager with viz ,,.... daughters, living on a handsome allowance whioh would cease at her death, leaving hos younger children, very scantily provid- ed fer. Manifestly the first duty of e mother la snob oironmetaemes was to marry ser daughter!;; and Eve a two elder sisters were' already in their third season. To have slimed the foolish dreams of au inex• performed girl to stand between her and a mast advantageous settlement in life would have been a piece of onlpable folly of which Mm Delamaine was inaapeble. She was strong-minded .and resolute ; her children had been trained to Implicit obedience to her will. And the end vim that E te, re- luotant, but overpowered, yielded to a daily and hourly pressure which gradually ground ber down and wore out hor powers of re- sistant'," Sine told Percival Danvers, when she am oopted him, that she did not leve him—told him witha forlorn hepe that he would re• linqulih his pretensions. Hs answered that he was oontent. So long as she gave him a heart on whioh no other name was written' he would trust to hie own love to win hers. He said it so very prettily, he manifested es mnoh delicate and thoughtful devotion, he laid himself and all his oovet- ed Advantages oo humbly at her feet, that the young girl was touched and half subdu- ed. With infinite tact he humoured the sentiment in her character and ministered to her girlish romance. Ha did not lead her with jawels-a lavish vulgar display of wealth wntoh might have startled her with. the suspicion chat she was to be Bold for that wealth. Hie gifts were the flowers she loved beet, photographs of the pictures ehe W011 enthueiaetio ever, trifles of taste, game ef art—all that showed the moat gratifying appreolation of her ideals, the most subtly flattering knowledge of her tisanes. waveS. Suddenly a cry rang sharply through the silence—a woman's eoream, as she dashed the deur wide open and ran out en to the gravel path. " A dooter, a doctor 1 For the love of Heaven bring a dooter 1" The solitary lounger leaped the low fence and dashed eared the lawn and fiower•bede without waiting to choose his steps, throw- ing hie cigar Into the bushes as he oame. I will go," he said te the women, Whioh doctor shall I call ?' " Which ? Ah, how oan I tell ? The first—the quickest 1" Lennard Hope—for it was he—sped away on his errand. He was young, he was swift, and he had geed look. He was baok again in less than ten minutes, the dooter with him. There were lights then moving from window to window, behind the clustering leaves. There was the babble of exoited voices. Marine Cottage had wakened from its drowsy spell into frightened active life. Leonard Hope waited outside for the doc- tor's return. It was net long delayed. "Dead 1" he said shortly, as he joined Leonard. " Heart-disease—long standing —nothing to be done. Young woman too." " A foreigner, was she not ?" " Yes—well, I hardly knew, The serv- ant is foreign ; and she loeke—Bat the name"—he enrolled a paper in hie hand, and stopped under a lamppost to read it— " the name le Marie Delorme Danvers Came here for her health, the woman said Is this your road 7 Yea ? Good night then," " Good night." Two days later, Leonard Hope read the announcement in the Times, " On the 21st inst., at the pariah church of St, Etheiminda, St. Sebaetian's.by-the- Sea, Percival Danvers, Esq,, to Eve, third daughter of the late Everard Delamaine, Eq.. of Beantort Manor, Esatshire." " Carious coincidence 1" Lennard said to himself, as he glanced lower down through the obituary notices, where, however, be found nothing. " It's an odd thing that, If one hears a name by chance, it is sire te crop up again 'half a dozen times directly afterwards 1" The world—although anions—smiled and congratulated ; her'home•oirole hurried eagerly into the discussion of wedding fin- ery and bridal arrangements ; and Eve was borne onwards with the current, on and on, as if by a strong overmastering fate, until she suddenly awake to find her destiny fixed and the wedding -day close at hand. She drew baok affrighted from that terrible Ru- bicon, so formideble and no solemn even to a happy and assured love. She could not, would net, dared net barter away all the wonderful, beautiful possibilities of the fu- ture her young heart believed in for this 1 Then Mrs. Delamaine came down upon her and crashed her with n relentless '" Too late." The family reprobation overwhelm- ed her ; her trembling tearful opposition was swept aside ; the powerful home-onr- rent flowed on and bare her with it. She was net strong enough to reaiat further ; she Bank into a condition of listless aoquiee- canoe, which her anxious mother explained to her ewn and Mr. Denvera'e eattafao- tion. He was tee willing to take his bride on any terms to be critical ; he only redoubled hie devotion, if that were possible. He was an Inoomparable fiance / " No girl had ever such a perfectly de- lightful lover," the Delamaine declared— " mo devoted, se thoroughly in leve, se un- exoeptionable in every way. The girl whe could not be happy with enah a chance did net deserve happtnees 1 And Eve, everpewered and helpless in her youth and her inexperience, ceased to struggle, let them say and do as they liked, and went to the altar in the stunned hope. lose mood to whioh they had brought her. She was roused—tee late in truth now— by a shook which changed her all at ones tram a timid dependent girl into a oourage- ens energetic woman. " Is thio true ?'' were her first words to Percival Danvere. "Ie this true?"—and she held the epen paper towards him. He gave one surprised questioning look Into her transformed faoe, then his eyes fell upon the written page, and the oelour left even his lips. His dark complexion took such a livid deadly hne that Eve, even in her newly -gained boldneae, drew back affright- ed. " Where did this come from ?' he began soddenly, savagely. " No, it is not true," he corrected haetily. " Ere, It is some silly jset; don't yes see? A practical joke -not in the beet taste, certainly—but—ha, ha 1" He tried to laugh, " It has euooeed ed admirably, upon my werd 1 Walter er young Dtagies, er beth, are probably the perpetrators. We will never lot them know what success they had. The young imps would exult over our soared faces." Ere crumpled the paper in hie strong fingers as he epeke, and thrust it into lib pocket. There was something ghastly in his laugh, s tmething ornei and vengeful In his grip of the little note he professed to held so lightly. An intense newly -roused loathing filled the girl's soul ae she marked all this. He seemed to stand revealed in a new and terrible light. He leaned forward and tried to take her hand " It is not 'Walter's handwriting, or Douglas's," she maid slowly, drawing book and keeping her hands tightly looked out in the other beyond his reaoh. " Ne, hardly." he laughed more natural- ly now. " They would scarcely play their Wok se clumsily. Some woman has been a confederate—your mother's French maid, very likely. It is very well done—very 1" he continued, " And it has been an excit- ing little episode jot at starting 1" Still she did net smile or ohange. " Why, Eve—why, my darling," he re- monstrated oareaeingly, were you really taken in ? 'Did you doubt, even for a mo• ment ? Dearest, de yen ask me to put my word seriously against this very tranepar- ent melodramatic Bert of trick ? Must I tell you again gravely that it is not true ? Surely net ? I will tell you what we will do. We will send baok a telegram from the next station—if we stay long enough— congratulating the young menials on their bright Idea, Let us con000t it at onoe.". He drew out his pocketbook and pencil ; the color had cnmebaok to his faoe, save for a strange gray shade about his eyes, which made him leek ten years older. Eve could not forget, That madden frightful pallorbad spoken. to her with a terrible convincing force, more powerful to her woman's quick instinot han all the reas- suring words he could utter now. She drew away shnddoringly from his hand as he at- tempted onoe more to take hers in his own, She closed her eyes and leaned baok against the cushions, " I am tired—I' am faint," she murmur- ed, " Let me be quiet—let me root." She spoke with a kind of weary petulance which reassured him. At all ©yenta ib was more natural than her ether moods, he thought. She lay baok, with her eyes shaded by her hand. He watched her fur- tively ae he wrote hie message ; then be aliened the morning's Times and read, or pretended to read, looking up at her from time to time am the minutes palmed. A lonsilent hourgglided away ; and the swift oir evs still rushed on. prShe did not stir or look up, and the watching eyes dark- ened with an anxious cloud—perhaps an angry one. These bridal mode and whims' were beyond his management as well as hie. wakened his " an li h tro d to d e oomx n p hails temper, It was because it would not have beeu geed manners for a three•hour•old bridegroom to twirl or storm.. The whistle mounded at last; they were nearing ei large juuotiou atation, Mr, Dan• vera gemmed and threw down hie paper, " Here we are et E reeham,' he annouup od oheerlully, May I bring you a glees of wine ? I fenny we shall atop long enough for that,•• She uncovered her faoe and answered him Thanks—no," " It would be good for you, I shell bring it and you must drink it," ho said, with "a little aseumptien of martial author- by, am he jumped out. The carriage was a double one, divided by a door in the middle, the inner oompart• went being empty and the door set open for air on this warm day, Mr, Danvers return- ed in about throe initiates, followed by a porter bearing a tray with a glom of sherry and some blsoulta. Only a sunshade end a pale of light gray gloves were on the seat whloh had been E re s, and the door leading into the inner division was abut. Mr. Dan• von turned the handle, but the door .wan fastened. He shrugged hie eheulders, drank the sherry, di/missed the porter, and nettled' himself to his paper again, The train went on, but the door still remained oleeed. Mr. Danvers, a little milky, read en, The situation was absurd ; and oven a bridegroo n In the elevation of his first trans• pert does not like to be .made rienonlone, Station after station flashed by ; the lead- ing artiolea were spelled out, even the ad• vertisement sheet was exhausted. Mr. Dan- vers started up at last and again tried the door. " Eve," he called, " Eve, has not the joke lasted long enough ?" The Delamainee' were unpleasantly addlotod to prsotloal jokes evidently. '" Eve 1" No answer. Had she fallen asleep ? He knocked louder ; still no reply. Then he looked out of the window and whittled. The little conjugal pleasantry was grow- ing tiresome. Of course it was only a pleasantry, he told himself. Why should it be anything else 7 He watohed the trees. and hedges flying by ;' he wan horribly bored ; and, underlying all, there was a great dread, like a mastiff "kept at bay and ready to spring upon him when he would let It. But he would not let it -he reourred to hie minor vexations. This commence- ment of his married life was—well, hardly up to his expectations. The smoke of the great city was visible now ; the journey was nearly at an end. He announced the tact through the closed barrier. " Eve, we are almost there—in London, Open the door." Still there was no sign, Would she carry en the jest up to the last moment, -Yes, and beyond it. The train stopped." Mr. Danvers hammered. ' at tho door. Sill there was silence. Was she ill. Of oearae. Why had he not thought ef it before ? A porter oame at his eall. "Waat is it, air ? Can't epen the doer 1' OE course she must be Ill—probably in a fainting fit, What else oeuld aoconnt for her strange oonduot ? "111 run round, sir, and open it en the other aide." A minute—which seemed like ten—and the man threw open the door. Mr. Dan- vers pushed him hastily aside and stepped in, The carriage wee empty. (To nE OONTINIIED.) CHAPTER IV. When Percival Danvers swung himself hastily into his place opposite to hie newly - made wife, she was atttin' with flushed oheeke and flashing eyes,.- so transformed frem the pale Hatless woman he had left seated there a minute or two before that he locked ever at her in amazement.' Indeed he was pleaded. He found this an agree- able .change from the cold statue -like mood she had exhibited for some weeks past. He did not admire statues, bat he admired Ere Delamaine; and he had set himeelf'to win her, and had succeeded -in a way -thanks to his own strong will and a powerfal,ally whom he had scoured early. Cynthia had read the story pretty accurately. Eve was young and weak, and the oombination was strong and subtle, When Parolval Danvers appeared In a set of London sooiety with the prestige of having lately succeeded to a large fortune, he became at onoe marked as the match of the season, There might be something ob- eonre and indefinite about its origin; but the fortune wag safe and mire enough, the wise ones guaranteed ;'and nobody cared to inquire more deeply. MM ethers of marriage- able daughters mode much of the men whose gold ft oohed so temptingly before their eyes, Tile daughters themselves were charmed with his handsome faoe and fide figure ; and he had only to "throw the handkerchief" where he ohose. But he was coy at first ; he allowed himself to be oourt• itd for a season or two, Then Eve Dala- mafne came oat, and Percival Danver's oholoe was made, a She washedat all dazzled by kis l prfer- nee - herounl heart, ae yet untouched, y g had its own dreams and aspirations. She had formed her own Ideal. and, as It hap• paned, it was not after Mr.- Denver's mod - Lome Famous Names. SUMDIER. 011II"r;8, o aslant Cicero Itmightyam wlth o Cic an d inat "Ciosronaum ile" but the ors,. her lover leaned over the aide of the boat as 1 soholara and tenses have been written for The pretty ;Heiden fell overboard, and a an ga , tor's time reaohes its. tallest, blossom r when modern E';rope, follgwlug the. Italians,: colla e guide a cicerone," Gaaeartonne ef the proa o d tnames of all antiquity, bats as a u name Its highest glorification is reached In the present day when it serves as the title of the ,Emperors of Germany, Audtria and R,iasia, and se the (Mental designation of our Queen and Empress of India, .The name of the old Raman patriot Oinoinnatus know boat known as the name of the bite whioh is the 'meat pork emporiums of the United States " The ourse of Cromwell on you 1" in the mouths of ignorant Munster Peasants keeps alive In remote hamlets a name which now lingers OS a mere phrase with its apeakera. The story goes tint the Dake of Welling- ton once '" chaffed ".' Lord Brougham as a man who at one time bade fair to go. down to posterity as a famous reformer of the laws and enlfghteament of the people, but who, after all would owe hie renown to the name' of the vehicle whioh had been ohristened after him. Lord Brougham re-. torted by saying to the Duke that his name, whioh promised to descend, to after times as the hero of a hundred battles and the liber- ntor of Esrope, was to survive as the desig- nation of a kind of boots. Sir R,bert Pastes name la similarly embalmed 113" bobby " and" peeler." Not afew names, immolated with the progream of geographical discovery are destined to immortality in the current epeeoh of the world, while the instruoted;. classes alone appreotate the historical refer- ence in eaoh case. The great Amerloan oon' tinent in this way has known Ito name from Amerigo Veepnooi ; the names Magellan, Hoorn and Cook will live in pplaoe•namee when the record of their disooveries is known only to profound antignertes; and Baffin, Davis and Hudson, and many others, will in all probability prove verbally eternal. Alexsndeo the Great is beet remembered through the towns founded in his name, and Oonetantinople and Adrianople who the names of emperors well-known only to the learned. Pennsylvania seonrely enshrines the name of William Penn, Maryland is a perpetual monument to Qaeen Mary ; and Virginiaentembs Raleigh's oempilments to the " Maiden Qaeen," her sister. Maohiavelliem and Chauvinism, are rapid- ly acquiring a meaning colored by no per- sonal referenoe ; and peculiar view' in'the- elogy and philosophy hove elevated partiou- lar names to the rank of household words, and caused them to be spoken of by hun- dreds who have neither interest in nor knew - ledge of their biographies. Eraetue, Irving, S wedenb erg, Glass, not to say Calvin and Luther, may be reckoned in euoh a oategory. Plato, Pyrrha and Malthus owe their fami- liar fame more to one special for which a name had to be coined from their ewn than to the general weight,,ef their intellectual significance. The name of St. Philibert is beet known, both to the religious and Irre- ligloue, as the name of the nuts which are supposed to be ripe en the 22ad day' of Au• gust, the day moored to him. Highland sus- ceptibilities may be tender, but scarcely any ene will deny that the name of the clan Maoadam—presumably the oldest of even Highland familles—has most imperial signi- fioanoe from one of its members' improve - meats in roadmaking; as also that of the clan Maointosh, from the waterproofs " of that ilk." Seeking Medical Relief. It was formerly the habit et Irisheae- ants to go the rounds of the houses ofp the gentry when afflicted with any disorder which did net yield to their own rough -and• ready treatment. A retired army enrgeon, having fixed hie residence in the south of Ireland, was often visited by the neighboring peasants, anxious to avail themselves of his good- neture and protessional !kill. The acoeuntx they gave of their complaints were gro- tesquely graphic, One applicant for relief described himself ae having " a great bilin' in his treat, and his heart was as if ye had It in yer hand, and were squeezln' It," Said another patient : "Savin' yer she roan to tho surface? and maid'"" give me your bond," " ,I'lecee ask papa," she sold, an she sank for the second time. Cole ;: " Say, old follow, what you got your winter overcoat en today for I Boggy; " Well, I've got the chills, and my wile thought it a good time to 'bake the motile gut," Schulze.: " And how do you ' like the. Parrot 1 sent you 1" Meller ; "It was a bit tough." S, ; '" What 1 Have yeti eaten it, then 1 Why, the creature; oonld talk 14 M. " Well, why didn't it eayso, then." Lightning struck the reeldenoe of W, H, Tears, lust week, • and demollehed it entire,; ly. Those who have tears to shed will please send the shed to Mr. Tears, until he mon build a new house. A Frenchman thinks the English language is very tough. '" Dere is ' look out.' ' he says ""' which is to put out your head and nee, and ' look out whioh is to haul in your head and not for to see -just con- trairie." At a flower show two yowl ladles were disoucsing their re fondnepa for nertioular flow Drinks that Refresh Bat do not Intoxioate• There are a great many pleasant het - weather drinks, that oon be 'prepared at home whioh rival the tipples to be had at a bar -room or soda fountain. A delioiouely cool drink is mode by planing a tablespoon- ful of cranked ice In a tumbler with the juice of one lenan, or a half a lemon and one limb, one tablespoonful of sugar; stir until well mixed ani pour upen this a bot- tle of plain soda that has been kept en foe. Do not indulge in this while ever heated. Soda nectar, if mixed with more, ie by no means, to be deeplaed. Put a tablespoonful of crushed Ica in a glass with the jaioe of ene lemon and three lumps of sugar that have been grated ever the rind; fill up with ice -water, and when mixed stir in a vary scant teaspoonful of oarbonate of node. Honore presence, me ehtemaoh has gone Drink while the liquor is in an effernasotng to the wesht of me ribs." state. A third was " thronbled wid oonthrary It is a popu'ar but not well 1sanded be - spite tangled round his heart,"—In other words, with an aooumulatton ef phlegm' Sometimes the connection between the db. order and the demanded remedy was not obvious. " Please, merm," said a ragged gasman, applying to a lady, " me mither a lying down, and I want come tay and sugar." " Please your Honer," whined a bare- footed woman, " I'm in great disthrese. I fell down yesterday, and brak fire of ms ries under "me right breast, an' -far the blessing ef God, could ye spare me a thrills 7" One liberal gentleman was constantly' vleited by girls who begged for a " dhrop of castor oil," to ease some internal malady. When, however, one damsel asked him to put some scent in the castor oil, he inferred that she was intending to apply it to her hair. ' A Soandinavian National Union has been organized at Winnipeg. ' and talkative ens for their rte iny " Oh l I do love helieteopoa," said ode. '" They are so fragrant. They amell just like vanilla Joe cream 1" The words selected for an examination, with their definitions, were " aqueduct, a conductor," and " effervesce, to work." Ono of the sentermaa handed in was i " My father is an aqueduct, and has to eflerveace very hard," Beidegroom from the country, after read - ling the sign, " Ice oream, $1,00 a gal," ; " Dollar a gal 1 Lawa, if they oharge ea mnoh fur a teller, ez they do fur a gal, Sue, we'd better lot toe cream elide, an' etiok ter lem'nade." "' Was Sue Fitzperoy at the social last night ?" asked the high achoel girl's mother. " Yee," replied Mildred, " and she took the initiative ore leaving." " That's just like that girl ; she'll take everything ehe can get her hands on." Huaband to Young Wife—I couldn't help being se late last night, dear. You mustn't chide me, love. We should not quarrel, for you know you and I are one. now: Young Wife—We are one, are wo ? Well, if we are I must have been 2uller'n a goose last night without knowing it. A story to told of a Sootoh wife, shortly after the nuptial knot had been tied, mildly expostulating with her husband fer indulg- ing in two tumblers of whiskey -toddy just before going to bed. " My dear Agnes, a glass e' whisky -toddy makee another man o' me." " Bat, my dear William, you take two." " Ay, Agnea, that gauge to the ither man." " Wender what I'd better name him," said Johnny, thoughtfully, ae he watched the new dapple Dolt drinking eagerly in the brook. " I'll tell you," said his comrade Willie, eagerly, "" Call blm Preserved Fruit." " Why Preserved Fruit ?" " Be- cause," replied Willie, " he's euoh a dry dapple." lief that temperanoe drinks mixed with egg are unpalatable. Try a lemonade flip made as fellows : Beat the freshest of eggs with two teaspeoeful ef white rumor fer ten minutes, using patience, a good egg -whip, and a ahellow bowl ; pour on this, beating the while, three-fourths of a glass of un- sweetened lemonade ; put a little cracked, toe in another glass and tees book and forth several times, Cider flip is also very good. Beat the egg as above, using less sugar ; pour on it a bottle of cold, sweet older ; grate a little nutmeg en tep and you have a nutritious and tasteful beverage. A little bey playing in an old leg house at Rlohwoods, Me., lest a marble through the fioer and crawled under the house to get it. He found there a tin pall full of gold and silver coin. The amount proved to be $1,000. It was the property of an old gentleman of the place, who had hidden it there in .1864 and 'afterward, not finding it readily thought it had been stolen.' COMPETITION. Lord YAAS, MUT TIIERE IS NO ROMANCE OR ANTIQUITY OR ANYTHING OVER rn A . WHY, ON MY i10 000 S ESTATE Ix SOOTLAND, THERE IS 'A HOUSE' THAT IIAS IOAUNTED VOR OVER FOUR EUNDR0D YEARS.1W SIR"'Gi1EGORY'S DUn'E—NOTtIrto BEEN.. MICR THAT OvExt HOAR ! „". `"W „ >+cn `°,;:i 4'i On, YES! TIIOkE IS xke-,ON'1`ASidO_PABLIAb5ENT BUtrennoa! " Well, John," said the judge to a pig- tailed Celestial, " what can I do for yen Y" " Want to getee name changed." " What's your name now ?" " Sine_Sln . No geode. Tao muohee aldelman. l changed to Walble Twioec." " To Warble Twice ?" " Yep. Alle samee Sing Sing." Mre. Stitlpeor : " And so you really- said te.merrow for Europe, Mrs. Newlyrloh ?" Mrs, Ncwlyrioh : ' Yee, everything is ready." Mrs. Slillpeer : " Has your hus- band obtained Metter of credit yet ? Mrs. Newlyrich : " Oh 1 we shan't ask for oredit. John expects to pay oash down for everything." " Daee your husband write hie ewn ster- eo] or does he keep an amanuensis 1" " He does all his writing himself.`" " I should think he would find Mee noh easier to have an amanuensis, and he le well able to afford one." " That's true, but he is of se genial and kindly a dispeeitlon that he could never dictate to anyone." He (in the waltz) —You told me you would send an answer to my proposal by letter. She (blushingly)—And I did. He—Then I have not received it. Ah I do not trifle with me, sweetest Angelina. She—I have ne wish to trifle with you. I sent my answer, It Is strange you have not received it. I sent it yesterday noon by a messenger bay. He—By a messenger -boy ? Oh, then, I'll get it te-merrow. Thanks for the explanation. You have relieved my mind greatly. " Mr. S,ihmidt," said a German gentle- man, i eaterday, as he entered a Berlin merchant's effioe. • " Mr. Schmidt, 1 haf der eohmall pox," " My Goodness 1 Mr. Schneider 1" was the hurried reply, " don't come here," and the clerks rapidly disap- peered in various directions. " Vot's ,dere madder mit you fellows, anyhow Y" pursued Sohnelder. " I leaf der eohmall pox full of batter and in mine wagon, vet der Mrs. Sohmidt ortered last week alreaty." A foolish exohange say " A hairpin is a weman's best friend." Thiele really absurd. Dees a hairpin ever come home very late, sit around the bedroom and look foolish while aha blows it up to her heart's oontent ? Dees a hairpin ever buy new bonnets, premise her in July a new sealekin next January, and next January stave it off with a premise of a eoteon at the seashore next July?. The man who wrote the item either is employed by some hairpin manufacturer or else he Is a cynical bachelor. At the Temple Place tonsorial trimmer's, Spicer had just settled hinted' in the chair for a summer short cut, when the artist in attendance threw over him a calico apron, on which were pictured innumerable little greyhounds, "That is very appropriate," acid Seth. " Vy do you call ze little dogs appropriate, Mr, Spizere ?" asked the hair outter, as he tuoked the'apron into hie victim's nook until his eyes buig "r Be- came," gasped Spleen, " gray, nde are geed to catch the bare.". Saab a silence tell oh upon the room that the milliner next door locked in to see if anybody had dyed. " Mamie,' said a grammar oohed girl to a member of tiro graduating olase, " have you finished yonr essay ?" " Er—no," re- plied Mamie, "but I have oommeuoed it, ane I wish the awful thing was in Halifax," "What is the subject ?" "'The curse of Stang,," "Graoioua! Isn't that a diffitult eubjeot to write?" ' " Difficult 1 Well I should giggle, I'll have to hump myaelf,to get it finished in time for the (iammenoe• went, aid I've a good notion to let it slide. I might shut nee the Professor's optic by pleading illneee, but I'm not that ort of a hairpin, But tomo,' waltz ,up 'into my room and look at my stunning graduating harneee. It'll paralyze you 1" William Bronson, constable of Hunting- ton, Conn., thinks it lucky to wear a ahirt for eaoh year that he has been in office. As he has been in officio seven years, he is now sweltering under seven shSame of his g Wilda nzeighb.orsthink he is lucky in having seven shute, ti I t y a 11 11 B ai SC SS T eI to TIC g11 00 fa 1n, to alb Al mt fat an 'f kat cox am Se; iml tw( rnl" the the ear out MIs tb ,b 0 cion of fe Fro: sum lag: wine were not knei Sh awal elllb The SHIM Dolor tint 1 She i again black Sh neigh coati( faoe ; etafni Sht awful Theo quite site to lookbi armed did LI( the he to be faahio: dread' Aliiso, found ed, rat "w 'Ward rt lot her t The