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Home My WebLink AboutThe Exeter Times, 1885-10-15, Page 8Euthanasia. maim r, axso. The day will come when I shall walk no more, mortal gniee, beneath sou sea ti sky, Ner longer view. with ,rhaekled sense, the shore Oti we dira elite Time' onvaled *mord no. Dear friends, with faces voicing the unrest, Sad, love -born team for =tome day ono eaAed; Warm hands, win feld my e >When:Is on my breast, and tender words, may -hap, for in be said. The window -cabs will lose their transient Thirafingered Death win drop the meal= down; There bler-flashed cheeks will strangely facle te white. And amaranth the marble brow still crown. Thia throbbing heart will (loam day easter* beat, Its erimaon tide the baAs no more Ida wars he vital pars, on. viewless plutons fleet, Will speed. ire diet toward he primal Immo. They who f r Loa of me might grieve that day, I would their hearta could and a beiding balm ; And may some loviogkindred spirit say. "Be braved laia's sturas and found etereal °alto." An Awful Adventure. in the Teeth of a Tornado -t Thrilling Experience. We were riding toward the northeast, having been to a reach. lying toward the Vega Peso, though. a number of udiegi this elle olt it. Teat feeling which the birds had awak- enea lied proved very trauelent, My sister maidenly aske4 in A tem of intereat, unting- Why few, U we lied uoticed the amid in the muthweet, lied was it miatemary for Coloradieekim to exhibit molt freaka I` Vpou thee weIneon ua about, and eslltl, with A ,,, ry, pulled up her home, we also stop d our ponies and gazed. Speak - for el -y.401,1 only feldthen 4 keen inter- est, without Alarm, at the eigiot before me. Until 1 looked et my couisen face I did not thirik of fear. A greet wity cif it appeered to me, 1 WAS told sifterward it must have been ebout tett mil n distant when we firm saw it, wits geloudalesolutely black. For the linst time 1 knew what tbe phrase "inky blaelineash meant, 'Neither before nor siuce have 1 ever seen a cloud of that colour. It wee roughly cortinehaped, the point toward the earth But even its shape and colour were not the most terrible things about it The man Was ' boiling," No other word applies to the incessant rapid ohliegea lu ite texture, which all the tine preserved its blaokums, end through it there were cotenant dmhea of lightning. Bat webeard no thun- der then, 1 aliall never terget the whiteriese that came to Nann face, 'Without know- ing that I saw them, 1 yet remembered ttf. terward that her fingers clutehed peinfully about the bridle an1 that she reeled. alight. ly in her addle "Let me think," elle said in it low voice. I did not speak, but me aster, who did not see:guns face, sidd in a commonplace voice i "le not that rather a belligerent !peen men of a cloud ? ' P Nan did not apperently hear her ; she sat silent for perhaps half -a -minute, then she turned to tut and mid quickly: "I hope yoa can ride feat. We can't get home; what good if we could! There is a narrow gulch about a mile and a helf from here, lta the only place I know." She turned her horao sharply to tbe right and told him fiercely to go. We followed, ridingasIhadneverriddenbeifore. Thehorses oaught fire from na and raced on in that wild way they have, which it not like the, man. ner of horses in the Hint. In spite of the fear whioh novr posaesaed ue all, there wm a caftan glorioutekeling in that ride After we had turnwe ooald look cff at our right at the d, vrhich was refilling on 'nth terrible ickness, and which I now fancied was paean' g ne, and us alone. Suddenly there woo it thunderous sound toward the west, and looking thee way I sew a vast herd of °Attie sweeping on, &dark surging mass, with tossing home glancing white in the sunahine, for the sun was t . hin• ing brieliantiy at this time. It wag a stain - pada I meter knew whether they were frightened by cloud or had been urged on by the unexplained impulse that mime times comes to them to flee madly over the plain's. At another time this siglat would have been of stirring interest; now I did net care to watch the flight of the cattle. I was too intent on our own nee against the cloud. The lightning was playing through the black vapor incessantly. Mere clouds, having the appearance of comraon "thun- der heads," rose and dispersed themselves over the sky, and at last 'bemired the sun- light. It was a relief to me when the sun ceased to shine, for the scene seemed leas abnormally terriflo. Within a few rods of the opening of the gulch I heard a roar, as a oncoming wind. Nan cried out again to her horse, the ani- mals lurched forward yet faster, and in a moment we were all entering the ravine. It wee extremely uneven ground, and cover- ed by broken Blimp atones. My sister and I were watching an;Nshe slipped off the saddle and hurriedly motioned to us to do the same. The instant we were dismounted the horses scrambled rapidly forward fur- ther into the gulon, and we did the same, „ Nan now in the rear, and !driving us along That night I found my shoes cut, and a gash In my foot, but I did not feel the wound when I received It. While we were thus hurrying to get to the deepest shelter athe gully, the roar above us was awful, and was increasing every moment. It reverberated strangely through the ravine. We could not have heard a word had we spoken, We all stopped simultaneously and looked at each other. They were two very white faces that I saw, with strained frightened eyes. Nan made a movement with her head that we were not to go on; and we crouched down against the rocky sides of the earth. The next instant Emma leaned heavily upon me, and silentlypointed up- ward tow - the chasm's opening, were we had ent • The black eloud was just ., goingn t our point of vision; it had dilat- ed to t ce its former size, but etill retained its cylinder shape. If it could be possible it was more dense then ever, and boiling in its blackness. Balls of fire sped back and forth in the air; or my sight was under a hallucination to that effect. All the phe- noraelia seemed to have their Center in that cone a black cloud e . The., strengest, the most awf al thehg cd all that fearful experi- ence wee Nvhat I saw now., Behind that blaek cloud, whethet following it 'or drivihg it I know not, canoe a tall cloud of intensest, Most dazzling white—a pillar of glory, grow- ing ehery instant more like a pillar of fire, andleoon appearing to control the lacy shape. The roarinfttioise was now at its height. In a moment the two mysterious shapes had passed from our central:Med line of via - ion; they marched on. destroying as they went. The crash of timber along a stream not far off, the cannonading of the thunder, which had now opened Ito forces'and above all the overwhelming roar of the wind, made us ehrink and cower closer together. A fiercer blast mused us to throw ourselves flit on the atony ground grasping at each other's hands. So ignorant weal that I be- lieved at the time that we were in the full power of the tornade instead of being shel- tered by the walls °Alm gulch. Afterward 1 knew that we could hardly have saved ear lives had we not been able 10 reach thise ravine, One I felt a touch on my head, from which iny hat had long since gone. I found that it wag oue of the horsea. They 1141. Au come baok from their Arse run up the gulch to be neer US ; the three steed Let/ellen close by, when we had a chance to look. As I re- oalL in a dream, ao 1 recall the moi - dents of the time while we remained in tbat refuge. Ortee, in a glare of the light- ning, and while my eyes *ere open and my head raised, 1 ems several objects flying over the top of the gelch. 'limy were sheep, and their dead, Wailed boilie,s were found, asif they heel /seen linag herd againet the ground, after the atoria. Oaoe somethine came down aloe by me hitting my . band where 1 had dug my lingers Imomuielously down into the mirth. It waaa mull prairie dog, and it lay still in death, near me, Many prairie hens the next day were found dead, with almost all their feathers stripped oft by the wind. 'While the terror lasted there was hardly a hal in theferocity of it. I thought we had hen hours hiding there when at laat the rain boson to come down heavily, and a moment after the wind sen eibly aiminiehed, to a hard gale. We were directly snaked thoroughly. but I think none of us cared for than Tee hurling maim of the istorm was still deafeunig but we felt thst the worst was over, for ea at least. That demon cone of cloud wee flying further on ita road of destruction, but it nal left TWO Wele, Twenty. yeara ago, Auua C — left aohool determined te be a "belle,"to bring crowds of lovers about her, and to make at lest a brilliant match. Since she was A child *he had knowbut this single purpme. All of her echool-training had been directed to the One end. She had studied Enelish literature that she :eight talk intelliecutly ef poetry and novele ; xnusne thee elle might attract by her singing; drawieg, lest she !night fell In with artiste. She danced with exquielte grace, and dreased in charming taste. Na- ture bad given her a pretty xem which she colated every monolog artiaticady. When the a:rived at her home in a gay Inland town, and " came out," tbe favorite of society W4I a young widower who Was fond of sport. Arum talked of nothing but Schee, trout•iliess, and doge, and began to yr:kettle piatol alamting untie r b la inetruction. The next roarriegmble man she met wee &clergyman. nee dimmed Ritmiliem and churelework ineemently, and buried her- self in theologieal bookie OSO or two m- eaty men from New York appearlion, ehe ba - creme A mere liattettly of built:Lou. She kapt p this popsy yaw alter year. She was al- ways encirelee by autumn, Attentive ed. ' mirere h luveriebly turned mina after A while to marry another wornau. She is pursuing the same policy still, an old paint. eA wreek of A woman, her heart full of bit- terams and dii aepointment. Her sister, woo Let echoed at the aatne time, WAS a genuine, cordial little girl, who loved Inc heartily, and threw herself into the work or play of the hour with all her heart. She Was aplain girl, with no ahowy n000mellehmente, and benee Was always neglected in a ball room. Like any other woman, the would have liked to be admired aud loved. But sbe had a certain maiden pride ethic& forbade her to lay nets to at- tract men. "It is their place to seek me," she mid, quietly, to her sister. Much to the surprise of both, she was aought in marriage again and egaia, and at last was won as a wife by a man who has mede her life full and happy. Her reserve, the difficulty of whining her, had been the one charm which her sister leaked. Every girl who roads it eau point the moral of tide story for herself. fae hare tha follows the hounds, like every other oreature whioh violetes nature, suffera for Ir. 1-10ITSEI-IOLD. ' Domestic Iteceipte. coorcris'a YOB, VIE Mex, Tee Mien Pence, —With one well -beaten egg, twat a teaspoouful or ao of sugar. Stir in &small glans of new milli and a cup of very hot tea. Sweeten to the taste. GItAan Juice —Fqueeze two weeds of Catawba grapes lea come° cloth, after pick- ing them front the *toms. Aid three table- spoonfuls of loaf sugar, anti when this is eolved, add one cup of °old water. Surroeud it with lee until very cold, Menne; Benne —Cut up a pound of lean mutant into email Fecal and ad4 a quart of cold water. Let it almoner for three houra, skim aud add a phich of Wt. Strain, mei and, rotative the fat U there is any. Mae PUIVIN0.—Talse two talempoonfula of clean rie,e or sego end mak le warm water for two how*, then drain. Stir it ill a pilot of milk, e.dci a little sugar and. bake or boil ter an hour. LESIOX JELLY.—Dissolve an ounce of isle - gime in a pint of water, add a pound of loaf sugar, and the julee and rind of two lemone. Boil for ten minute* and strain it into a amulet. Etio Cenem.—Beiat the yolks of four Agga. three tablespoonfuls' of sugar and tbe rind (grated lightly ) and juice of a, email /moon, or orange. Add a teaspoonful of powdered auger to the whites of the eggs end beat un- IU Stitt Piece the beaten yolku in a vemel in a rot of Lolling water and cook gently, etirring all the time. When it thickete,air In the whites until thoroughly mixed, then cool. Serve in small gleams. PANAla,--lay in A bowl two Boston or graham crackera eplit ; sprinkle an &pinch of salt, aud oover with boiling water. Set the bowl in a 'saucepan of boilleg water, and let it atiani thirty reinutee, till the oreckera look clear. Slide into c bet milieu without break,' leg, and eat with cream and auger. Ssrve el- waye very hot, CORK Ala. Garen—hale three table. spoonfuls of corn meal with a little cold water and etir it into a quart of boiling water with a teaspoonful of salt. Boit one hzur, *train and serve, „tweet: Wheine—Rtagit two 'our ;pinta and. pour over theme quart of hollieg water. Cover mod /et it Maud for half an hour. A pint of welled dried Ar leig may be used In. steed of the routed app VIZ 1,11i-ICI.Cal - De lust annual installment of charity :haulers has arrove,'said Brother Gardner Wayclown Beloee ceased his mournful ough and Pickles Saab and Whalebone Elowlier ended tin& diaoussion on religion. "Reab am a ieroalar static' dat werry large eiannimob:iro, op svf hailtad000nota wollilonoeuedoy hciellopdt.iiros awte Kinuor Club will appropriate. "11 am de same ole ding clong.bell which has rung in de eare of de world since de ear one. De peer her bie witi us fur de hke' 6.94Q haea, ale charity bee bin appeal ed. to ebery y'er to help 'on. Am de von', as a class, any better off to day den dey war' de start? De me we give de mo' we am axed to give, urine it hoz mime down to de Opt dat de elate who am to work— who practice emnomy—who l'arn how to manage—who am determined to git ahead, her 4 perpetual clog neatened to 'ent in de Shape of de obligee*. "Who am de shit less mac? Let tie ana- lyze him. As a boy he fincla it me pleasant tc fish, hunt an' loaf clan secure an' ()claim - ahem or l'arn a trade. As a man deco habita st,icle by him. Ile wotke as a last reaort. He riots up deolaim dat de world °wee him libinh an he makes de world 'support him. Ile am poo', linprincipled an' vicious, Ile marries de mum sort of bia-el an' perpeta. etas:it. "De charity of a city like Detroit pours n.00,000 per Near bete de lop of idlenees an' mime. It afore a premium OA leaferism, 11 provento item Neeeseity item drivhd men au" boys to lioneet labor. Few men got Abend widout ettict emu - °my keerful management. De rich deem' oupport all nem mamma an tobacco etoree an' cheap tneateta, Gee axe all. depend upou de shlfgena pole Mark B Ch0WA An' oleo an' dritate beer and gime to de drone. Ile trowel away de money he eheuld seend fur wood an' clothes an' rout. Economy em word he Wee only when winter coulee en' his job ara goue. Den he tuna about an' appeala to de heerfel, eaven' an' industrioua man, who bee denied himself all luxuries, to whack up ivid him. It Mil almply bltak raoviailr. induatry. It am an encouregement t "All die I may hev toia you brae, but IOU it agaiu (let you may not forgit it. De pee men who kin prove to me det he has la- bored wheel work WAS to be hsel—nat his shilliege An' iiiekela ben gone fur food an' clothing—dat he went %int bunted of beg, kin depend upen Inc fur et: a week ell winter. .Any Miler pewee who Pace main de name al Eitellen Uinta, ch srity am a fraud who deserves a etene an pleas of bread." To prevent ilenirone froua smirching, wipe _Nor af.wavS them cu a cloth wet with kerosene, Prof Gumlotil Smith aroaeto aqueatlonot *tarter and paint mey be removed from Privileg°' Th° °the"ay wbte 121411 "' wiudow glom ith hot, thee? vinegar. ferred h121 MI a 44"4"1" and " mo and he had been severely censured by severed Water weakens digestion end enoourages mernbere of the club for not reeenting the the absorption of fray and menharine met- inuzlt. Ile would like a (lecithin by the tore. To bike pies to a fine brown dip a clean Pr464`tivendoar brudder," mid the President as white cloth in freeh cream, end brush light- be looked down upon him, "11 it dem Nada ly over the top cruet before putting into the white men heapa of good to refer to coll'cl ovau, The Phantom Headlight. Hank Van Buakirk is ono of the bravest and beat engineers that ever set foot in a locomotive's cab. He is noted for nerve, and the daring speed to which he sometimes urges his tiery steed has mede him a aort of a hero among the boys of the C. & A. road, over which he has pulled trains for many years and. has been phenomenally succeesful in avoiding serious accidents. Hank has a world of warm friends, but they are mostly railroad chums, and. we all know how they delight in joking each other when they get the age or rubber upon some luckless brother employe. When Hank first began servioefor the C. & A. he had no silver in his locks and no gold in his handsome pearly ivories. But for a peculiar circumstance that happened early in hie career he might still be young and happy. He was pulling the "Deaver Express" from Roodhouse to Bloomington at that time, they say, with Conductor Lat- ham on deok. Suddenly the sbrilavoiced whistle called a halt and the train slackened its speed as the air brakes pinched the grind- ing wheels. In a moment the long line of passenger coaches canoe to a stand -still. For- tunately the train Wa9 only a few rods from a switch, and it was but the work of a min- ute to side-track, to allow the approaching engine to pass. The passengers hurriedly dressed and secreted their valuables, think- ing that the James brothers were about to make them an early and informal call. The train men all got down with their lanterns to see what the trouble might be. They sat down on the track to await the arrivalof the strange engine and conjecture as to its pos- sible mission. Some said it was an extra wild train, but no one couldunderstand why it should encroach upon their time, as they were not late and had not been informed of any such extra. After they had smoked and guessed about the approaching intruder and swapped lies for about a half hour it began to dawn upon the boys all was not right. The headlight of the approaching engine had veered to the right a degree or so and was considerably higher than it was when first seen. The truth seemed to strike them all at once—it was the silvery moon—and not a headlight. But there it stood right in their way. Hank hung his head and stole quietly into his cab. The whistle sounded dolefully as Hank gave it a feeble pull. When the switch was cleared the throttle was pulled wide open, and no engine ever flew over the rattling rails as this one did. The train was lest upon the track than in the air. It was the best time ever made on that road until the screeching and rumbling and hissing monster shot into Jacksonville like a cata- pult. For a long time the boys celled Hank "Sil- very Moon," "Flying Dutchman," and other similar pseudonyms. A Frenchman claim to have disciovered a method of preserving the body of the dead by a process .of electro -plating, whereby statues of prominent ptople, "true to life ' can be secured at comparetively coal. Just think how pretty a room would look with the dear departed all standing about in full niokle, silver and gold. namporant re - leaver', mother•in•laws and such, could be done in copper -plate, which is comparative- ly inexpensive. Everybody hould live on the sunny side of their bowies as much as pmeible, and allow the suuti genial rays to penetrate the rooms. Do not eat fruit *ins or seethe The akin of au apple is as bad for your child as a bit of your kid glove would'ebe ; that of a grape more indigestible than sole leather, For mildew st•aine, mix together soft amp, leiondrY atareh and half ea much, Bete Ana the Aloe of a lemon. Apply to the mildewed spots, and epread the garment an the gram, To make linen beautifully white, prepare the water for Washing by putting boto every ten pilot% of water e. large handful of pow- dered borax. Or, boil with the clothes one teaspoonful of apirits of turpentine. To beautify the nab, hold them for fif- teen minutes in warm water, Then, while flexible, ant carefully. Polish them with a piece of chamois skin dipped in a mixture of oil and very finely powdered pumice stone. It is said that by the following simple method utmost instant relief of earache is a forded I Put five drops of chloroform on a little cotton or wool in the bowl of a clay pipe; then blow the vapor through the *tem into the aching ear. Bags of hot sand are much better than bottles of hot water to place in the beds of invalids who require artificial heat. The sand retains heat longer than water, and sand -bags are more comfortable "bed -fen lows" than bottles. At the French Academy of 'Medicine Dr. Combe has made a valuable communication reepeoting the destructive effects of the per- sistent use of morphia on the teeth. Be has noticed that the victims have not a sound tooth left after a year's addiction to this habit. Ten grains of iodine dissolved in an ounce of turpentine forms a solution eminently successful in the treatment of ringworm of the scalp, after the parts have been thorough- ly washed and cleaned. It is a painless ap- plication, and may be employed at any age and to any part, mon a S'0301111' and mokee 1 dunno why vre ehould kick. It doen' apile our soomplexim zor meke our her kink any de wuss," "1 can't agrm wid de President," an- notuned the Rev. Peratock as he bobbed rip. "De white man who inaults Inc had bolter look out I' .- " &udder Penetoek, sot down 1 Dar' were coons an* makes long 'and afore you war' bo'n, an' some of 'em knowed fully aa mach as you do I De man no matter what hit eon on who feta his back up ebery time anybody shoots off bis mouth will lend up In de fool aaylum afore he dies. Da cher sustains Brudder Smith in preservie a grin on his face when celled a 'make' ands. " =commenter,. The Hon. Anxiety Smith dealred to call upthe case of Jock Loney, Lie D., a 'bus driver at Ann Arbor. Applieetion for mem- barship was made some alx menthe ago'but the committee reported unfavorably. Par- ties in Ann Arbor had informed them that Me Loney had purchased a. li quid to straight en his hair, and intended to be ofIndisin de- soent. The committee decided that a men who would go back on his race would not enjoy himself in the Lime -Kiln Club. Bro- ther Smith now desired to atate that he had run the story to the ground, and that it wits a bane canard, Mr. Loney, far from want- ing at aight hair, was using aloes and alum water to make it kink the closer. He was a big-hearted, industrious, honest man, and it was hoped that the club would revise the aotion of the committee. After considerable discussion the applicant was made a mem- ber under a suspension of the rules, A 'SEW CLUB. The Secretary announced a communication from Friday Alexander Webster, of Ypsil- anti, Mich, asking permission to organize a branch club in that city. As charter mem- bers he named James Embers, the Hon. Ed. Howson, Judge Henry Gaines, Alexander the Great, Fatty Hawes, Edward Low and Bob Butler. None of these parties have lifted a pullet or carried off a watermelon during the last fifteen years, and all are be- lievers in Bea:alerts latest theory. The matter was referred to the Committee on Judiciary, with leave to visit Ypsilanti on a freight train, if positively necessary, and the meeting adjourned. There is said to be nothing better for a cut than powdered resin. Pound it until fine and put in an empty, clean pepperbox, with perforated top, then it can be easily sifted on the cut; put a soft cloth around the injured member and wet it with cold water once in a while. It will prevent inflammation and soreness. In a fit the feet should be placed in warm water with mustard added, and the lege briskly rubbed, all bandages removed from the neck and a cool apartment procured if possible. In many cases of bleeding at the lungs, when other remedies fail, Dr. Rush found two teaspoonfuls of salt completely stayed the blood. To destroy ants: Drop some quicklime on the mouth of their nest, and wash it in with boiling water; or dissolve some camphor in alcohol, then mix with water, and pour into their haunts; or tobacco water, which has been proven satisfactory, They are averse to strong scents. Camphor will prevent their infesting a cupboard, or a sponge satu- rated with creosote. To prevent their climb- ing up trees, place a ring of tar about the trunk of the tree, or a circle of rag moisten.' ed occasionally with creosote, A dish familiarly known as "pepper:pot," much sought for by the epicure, is made thus: Boil six pounds of tripe for one hour, then take it from the water in which it has boiled and put it into fresh water with a knuckle of veal. La these boil for two hours, then pat in some potatoes, onions, carrots, a little parsley, some celery salt or stalks of celery, and any other herb or vege• table your taste demands; plenty of salt is discharge of their duty," continued the phil- essential, and considerable btach pepper. janthropiat. "Yam," yawned the policeman. When the tripe is tender, cut It into small ,,You're not afraid of death, then ?" "Cer- tainly not; our minister says death is only a deep, and I ain't afraid of sleep," Stanley, the explorer, says that on several occasions he bought his life of wild tribes for a pound of two -shilling powder. Home without a mother is a piece vvhere the ration is etiloatituted for a Na 5 slipper. DIEM An Oooaha man advertises 1a a buggy bora, What strange tasters some people have. There are two sides to every question, but a brelhestied man will always bet that he is right.' The coachman'aoccueation ia more agree. able them thet of the hornier, but the letter s more stable. A Weetern poet, it is !aid, thinks more of hte wife thee be dem of his po ins, So aces every mei thee ever read his poems. "Johnny, if Ton want to become a big man you ntust eat more atroog food." doluniy— "An right ; paim the butter." The wealth of our language is ahown by Ilia feet thee "Iniug it up" and. "elm& it down" melee preiboely the name thing. Fifty wigs were included in the wardrobe of the princess of Wales. It bas been the canoe who bee needed them, however. An obittiery notice in a paper mutating this interesting postscript : "He ha* be- queathed his widow e25,000." It's many year'ago Awe the poet wrote that "beauty draws US With a Single hair " 11 geneeally tikes a a45 switch to do 11 now. A philompher luta married an ihnor. ant girl used to eell her "brown eugare be cause, he said, she was sweet, but =refined. The sting of the bee le only one thirty-mo- oediof an nch long; it seems to be only ian ag nation that makte It aeon as long at a hue- beedle, roma reoently committed micide beAlnie his wife went te a ball arrayed in a Mother Ilubberel drone Some Mert are too particu- ar to A paper :mem "the lovers were cononded by the copse," etc, They are riever happy Lo tae Nutmeg atete wiliest they are having Attie at the pollee. • An editor opignmunietically deduct the petition a the great masa of the papulation when he seem "1 am a capitalist et begirt, but A workingmen from. necetaity." At beet one old Oxcart clown bee bad the daring to try his bentl at a uew joke. Dau Rice has set un a Claim to the while ielaul Du which stsuide the city of Gelveeton, Texas. "I don't think my religion will be any ab' etacle to our =Imo," he urged; "I ate a opiritualist." "I am afraid it aho re - piled. 'tIapa lei a prohibitionist, e ma know "How de eon like title kleci ef 'duet' dire. Tel -nose I" "Not very well. hint Shod.- dy." "But they are worn a great deed mow," 'Yoe, 1 notieed they were secortd.hmod." Firet, tramp—"Ibilloa, Mil. I iten you've jaet been over to Hawleyn farm, eleisond tramp—"Yee." 44ixed estieee eld mate. I bet Feu didn't got A bite." "Yes 1 did. Ha keeps a "Bromley, who is that !newt man on the jury'? Ile lust uuw nodded to you' "1 can't remelt him, VII Int, however, that hen a p•o- fessioual juror." "Wluit makes you tbink so ?" "Became he bode peeving any attention to the evidence." Griaby "I trust you will favor tut ilia evening, Mr. Beirneine 1" Mr, Batman' : "Well—er—no—hardly I They don't earn for serious pianoferteeplaying in tine house, you know, I hope you will give us 'Iles (lot 'Inn On,' lir. Grisby," Mr. Grisby "Well—I—or—think not—scarcely I You see, in thie house they don't appreciate seri- oua octnio dosing I" Bowleg a noise at' night Jones deacende with a lignted candle and discovers a burg. lar eitexping with a fall amok "Hello 1" he cries, "come back, you!' "Eli, what !" re- turns the burglar" "ab, yea, the silver can- dleetiok I .Permitme." Ile takers it from the hand of the astonished Jones and puts it into his bag. "Ten tbousand thanks. Have I forgotten anything else!' Mrs. De Boggs: "Did eon take Johnny 10 aohool, Jeremiehl ' Mr. De Bogni : "I did. An excellent school it ia, Matilda. The scholars are modele of department, the cur- rieulum is firet-olaas month° profemor a mac of ability. At leftist that is the way he atruok me," Johnny (with a groan):"You ought to have staid about an hour and aeen how ho struck me." At a franchise demonstration at Galaslitici?, Sootland, a man was observed in the proces- sion staggering along with a huge bonner on which was inscribed "Down with the l'eersr On being asked why he was so much opposed to the peers who had never harmed him, he replied: "fdinna ken what ye're eayiug ; but I wish peers was doan to the same price as aiples." "Look hero I wish you would explain how this got into one a your cigars," said a man, rushing into a tobacao store and holding up a little strip of calico. The manufacturer eyed it with disgust and exclaimed: "It's those new girls again. They don't seem to know the diffeeence between a Mother Had - bard and a wrapper I" Fiber and Fabric said the calico marks can be boomed and a great improvement be effected in an industry in which thousands of people are employed. It suggests that hus- bands, fathers and brothers should bring all their persuasive influence to bear to induce wives, daughters and slaters to purchase their dresses from some of the great variety of prints which adorn the store windows and with which our markets are glutted. The milltreasurers, printers and cotton and cloth brokers, superintendentsand clerks should be the first to lead in this matter, and the fash- ion thus set by their female relatives would undoubtedly lead to a vast sale of prints of every design and color, not only among the upper and middle classes of moiety, but among the great mods of the operatives. The munber of women employed in the cot- ton mills of the United States is . 84,359. Supposing these women bought ten yards of print cloth each, it would lessen the stook on hand to the extent of 843,590 yards, The whole number of operatives employed in these mills, men, women and children, is 172,544; if all these operatives bought ten yards of print each it would decrease the stock in the market 1,725,440 yards. We feel impelled to allude to this matter, owing to the stagnant and unprofitable condition of the print cloth market and the almost en. tire absence of prints as wearing apparel. "Yours is a very dangerous occupation," said the philatithropist to the policeman. "Officers are sometimes killed while in the bits and put it back tato the kettle. After removing the vegetables make a nice .gravy. Dumplings may be served with this if you pima The beat way to cook them is to steam them and then drop them into the boiling gravy just before serving. They are certain to be thoroughly cooked and be light 11 stemmed for threantuaters of an hour. IME DAYS LLND MOENTUS. Where the Names Come reem and ivhy %hey "Were aiven The Elielish langeage is a mixture of SeXon and Norinan -Unmet', coming to ue throughsettlers uoof the En h uogiltioe nStates.aeetn theea de r1 aa the fifth century after the birth of our, Savieur, afierce, people, called the Saxonia completely overran and conquered the ieland of Great Biitain, and their laniguage, relig, iota and cutouts very aeon took the place of those of the Britains they had aubdued. These Saxons were pagans, and worshipped tins sun, the moon, and a great many other ' idols, whicidthey called gods. As they wish ed to irmalcate 4 belief in their fele° religion they named the days of tne week after aorae 0 the more prominent subjects of their wor- thip, and to this day these names have been retatined, though in &Slightly modied forte. Aa they devoted the trot day of the week especially to the worship of the aun, they called the daySun derv, or Sunday as we have it. Their idol, iutended to personate the sun'had the bust cif a Man, and held wite out atretched arms a Ogre, wheel before hie breast. The whole aspect was very dorm, and the figure was planed on a lofty pedeetal, ire as eu be seen at A great dire tan. efemoral day, being set spert for the worsbip of the Moon, they called elevons dog or Moon -day, now Monday. The idol by which they repreeented the moon Was in the form of a Woman, With very long earn, She was olothed in a abort dreaa end hood Ana held *Niemen in her bend. They had alto an MA nomad Tame, who wao At drat worehipped as the father of tbe Teutortio race, but later as the on of the .EartA. Ile was repreeented as a venerate sage, with raid countenance, and. wite cloth- ed in the ekin of SWIM animal, and held amptre in hie right hand, To title god the Saxons dedicated the third day, calling it Taibco deog, whioll we have gradually aoft- ened down to 'rueeday. The naille Of the feUrth day Was ll'Odfa'S deee, whence we derive our eVedueaday. NVoderi or Odin was the supreme god of the Norsemen, or mini of the North, of whom the! Saxons were apart, and their mythology le chiefly made up of the wonderful feats of this favorite idol. Hie image was of fierce warlike impede and his beld a huge sword le his right hand, which Was upiifted ea if ready to etrike down his tom Wodenn eldeet son was Thr, %Ito, next te hia patentee was esitemied at the greatest nI gede, both by the esteem and Daum, In appearanee ha is the moat distinguithed ot all their Welt, and he in zepresented asat. cm* a throne, with a royal *centre In his hand, and, his head adorned with e golden mown, in whieh are eat twelve brigbtly gleamieg stars, The fifth day wee devoted to his warehip, and theme *ellen Thor' dew, or Tnureetty.s Friday, or ne see\ do oq, derive* its name from Frio, the mite at Woden and the mo - their ef Thor. She, like her huaband and son, was 4 fevorite with all tbe Norsemen, and the airfare:it claret vied with each other In melting the most gently 'meridiem to her. She was repreeented with a sword in her right hand, and A bow in her left—the drat for °omitted, second for defence. The eazons defile:awl the seventh, or blot day of the week, te Seater or Saterne, oall- it $cater's dealt, or Saturday, as we now ex - prom it. Tine idol wes shown with a lean tam end figura. his head umovered, and hie garment girt *bout the wait, thus !synth°. being the binding together of the seven days; while the wheel le one hand, mud the pail of fruits and 11 'were in the other, are aupposed to represent, the former the pasa- age of time, and the latter remelts of the week's labor. Toe nitrate of our months we derive from the lton,ana, who conquered Great Britain very soon after the commencement of the Cbristen ere. Jannitry is named from J(010, a two-faced Roman idol, to indicate that itpoints toward tee old, amen juat finished, and the now ono jutt began. Fob- ruary wan named by Romulus, from /Aeries, the Mother of Mars, and March from Afars, the god of war himself. .April receives its name from .tipuo.e, to open, Demean then the earth opens her bone= pour forth her long hidden tremor. es, May was so called from Maio, the mother of Mercury, and June from Juno, the wife of Jupiter, all favorite deities a the Romans. J uly was named by Mark Antony, in honor of the celebrated Roman Emperor Julius Catear, the first of his nation who attempted the conquest of Great Britain. August, which means grand or great, received its name in compliment of another Roman emperor, called Octe.vius Au- guatus. September was named from Sepiem the seventh; October from Oct.% the eight; Novemberfrom.Novent, the anthand Decem- ber from Decem, the tenth month of the Ro- man year, As a matter of convenience the names have been retained, though itupprop- • riate according to our numbering of the months. Keeping His Balms. There is a story, told among the T artars which has a moral for the civilized men of the present day, It is to teis effect : Rolm, cousin of the Greet Mogul, was condemned to death for participation in rebellion. The most skilful swordsman in the empire was provided for the execution, and the Great Mogul and hie court were present as spectators. The thin keen blade flashed in the sun- light and descended upon the bare neck of Hobo, who stood upright to receive the stroke. The executioner's work was so deftly done that though the head was severed, not a vital organ was disturbed. Robe remain. ed standing. "What, Robe, art thou not beheaded 7" exclaimed the Great MoguL "My lord, I am," replied Robo, "but as long as 1 keep my balance right, my head will not fall off." The Great Mogul was plaeated, a band- age was put on Robe's nook, and he recov- ered. He afterwards became &loyal subject and was made Cashier of the Empire, be- cause. as the Great Mogul remarked,— " He knows that if he keeps his balance right, his head will not come off." ——-- The recent races between the English yatch Genesta and thaYankee yid& Puei tan have set all the country talking "cutter" and "sloop." Both races were won by the Puritan, and our cousins are jatilant, not so much that they keep the America's cup, but because they take the victory to mean the supriority of the eloop over1the s'cutter.' But we think the races have not demonstrat- ed any such superiority. In the first trial, with D. light wind, the Puritan won easily. In the second race, with a good atiffbreeze, the Genesta lead until within a few mike of the end of the mune, when the wind sud- denly veered to another point of the compass and rapidly fell. The Puritan then gradual- ly overhauled the cutter, winning by about a minute and a half. The races have proved nothing except that cutter yachts, with their deep draught and excellent sea -going qualitio, are the only ones suitable for English waters, where there is nearly always a Wong windand a heavy sem III 40 The Vianderer of the Seas. The Hydrographic Office has asked the U. S. Treasury Department for permission to send a vessel in search of an abandoned schooner which is drifting in Maury's Lane and is a source of peril to all steamships crossing the Atlantic Ocean between New York and Liverpool. This vessel is the Twenty-one Friends,' a schooner belonging in Somer's Point, N. J., which sprang sleek and was abandoned off Fortress Monroe last spring. She was loaded with lumber, and the cargo kept the wreck afloat. From time to time the derelict vessel has been re- ported, so that the Hydrographic Office has been able to keep track of her wanderings. She drifted into the Gulf Stream, and, once there, slowly followed that current to the north and eaet. She now Hee directly in the route'eof ateamers, about 600 miles from the Irish coast. The Hydrographio Office want to send a boat out no find the ;wreck and blow her up, but the Treasury Department does not think it has the authority to under take the work, There are quite a number of these derelict wrecks floating around in the Atlantic, and they are more dangerous than icebergs, for they give no intimation of their approach, and cannot be seen or heard at night. The chartof the Hydrographio Office show other wrecks of the same Bort, but none in such a _dangerous position. Lady (who does not quite know the rules o the road)—"Let me see, John—to whioh side of the road do I keep ?" John—"To th' left, mum. Lady (feeling she is now clear on the subject)—"Oh, yes, now I re- member; and 1 keep to the right coming back," It is not permitted a Mexican to ride in the same carriage with a woman to whom he is betrothed. Tnis is probably became there is always more or less danger of people in a carriage falling out. When a senorita has 'wood a beau she takes no tisk% An Irishman, fresh from the country wanted to crime over from Dublin to Holy- head. "What is the fare ?" he inquired. Answer: Seven thillings," "What ie the fare for a pig ?" he inquired again, Answer: "Three shillinge." "Then book me for a pig."