HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1885-7-23, Page 8Beating a Restaurant.. at the seaside. He doubled himself
Interesting Items.
over a railing—feet touched ground
Free 1?ress on one side, head the other. I was I Hall's Vegetable Sicilian Hair Renewer nes-
restoring gray hair to its youthful
A well known practical joker was g p color, usre, And 4it$iity ,Dr; A. ZI. flayrrs,
seMed in, his oftloe on Griswold street break the eolie iu two. and. tackle outs. State Assayer of vesachnee' ta, endorses it,
t,bs other day when a stranger came belt at a .time. Up comes a bOlt y. —. and all who give it $ fair trial unite in gratefrl
in and asked for a auaalll enm of says he: 'Them your clothes? Rake testimony to its fusty virtues.
at la some fawn `em home ; ml3alu'1 bang your ward- Tho eyes of a bee contain X,000 mirrors.
money to help him S b t d ,' Thfs accounts far
The tail man. again gazed on the these pnngent,useots,
fit mat, with a eigb. Then he put UNKNOWN.
';gay, there's a fellow an the reatau a d&aI of himself ons of the window, 11'032181ghev rtuadof iritrbolio Acid for healing,
rant business who bullion" lttlrteelf "leaning with hie elbow* at the battoty many mod a of appplviu2 if the p b
1
the reflections a yuan hi.
in Illitlots, The sum Wall handed ro a ono here o ry ciukges lustier a brief interview with one of
over witheltt hseitatiou and the gen-,
Osman then remarked :
*huller, than chain laghtmag, lie o to opening..
war bragging to me only this morn-- 'That I decidedly object to,' cried
ing that no one could beat him out She let man. hotly. 'Here you are,
of s meal. U8
np eft veutllation and giving
fl'And you want mei to try it rus about halt a camel in the carriage„
'Yes. If you beat bin* out of a l and he colutnenoed to pound away at
dinner I'it givo yon halt a dollar.' the halfeatnel,s Lied legs. The other
4Well, 1 durum, I've aliule had halt otuie in with a ►igh and said :
pretty good luck with the choke I wish I could please you.'
racket. 'But you can't,' said the fat man
rac
'kat. a bila( testily, 'and you can't help it.
'Get a piece of beef in my wind• 1You,re a nuisauoe in a crowd, io a
pipe and rash out doors for relief. I theater,in *church, in foot, every --
don't get the relief until I'tn about where, Aad yet you're only show,
four blocks sway, you know. I beat you know: no weight, solidity or enb-
them in Bnffelo. Cleveland and, Tole. .ta'itiality. Look as mel It's ne
do that way,' short, tough people that 40 the work
'Say, teat's the *bring to work, and 1 of the world. Yon ve no weight,
ca try him: on If yon succeed rnr, no welghi.r
u're a balf ahead ; if you doter Tll 'He gays I,ve no weight 1' nem.
A y fee the tneal' &cured the tall Inca Wearily, end he
;111a:belt; went dawn to the reatau• dropped like a waterspout iota the fab
man's lap.
Those was a piercing 'he'll, a.
sounded and smothered roar. and it
only needed one glance et the tat,
hapele.a.lookiug aagllfttattu9e in the
ant and called for dinner, while the
joker posted himself to tee the rash.
None name, however. In about half
au bons the beat slouched cut of the
lio is uncertain bow best to use it, To zee
that want, McGregor et Parke's Carbolic Cer-
ate is prepared, and may be used with confi,
demo. Do not be misled. Takeo only Mc-
Gregor es Parke's Carbolic Cerate. Sold at Dr.
Browning's drug store. 4
Ayer's Sarsaparilla is the most effective
blood purifier ever devised It is reoommend-
ed by the best physicians.
"By ehimney 1 Ish dot so ?" exclaimed
the German who heard the story of Santa
clans for the first time.
Mr. 'Robert Hooper, of Kinloss, county of
Bruoe, in letter, says: "I have been troubled
with Dyspepsia and Liver Complaints for a
number of years, and am glad to say t0 the
public as well as my friends that MoGregor's
Speedy Cure brought me around, and I am
now all right, thanks to McGregor's Speedy
Cure. Hundreds of like testimonials are fte-
queetly rewired, and are daily proving that
OA is " remedy, curpgtruly
Slug-
gtah Liner, Biiioua Headache and Costiveness,
where all else fails. Sold at Dr. Browning's
Drug Store Trial bottles given tree. 4
Hucklten'a Arnica Satre,
Don't Fail to Call!
AT THE
People's Popular Hardwire 1
And inspect stook and get prices on trio following lines
NAILS, GLASS, WHITE LEAD, PAINTS, OILS, AND
BUILDING HARDWARE OF ALL BINDS, SHOVELS, SPADES dm.
We are away down, on the following
W. d. Searle Co's. Carriage Varnishes ; Peneben's Pre-
pared Paints ; Bird Cages ; Buggy Tops ; Stoves, and Tin-
ware of all kinds, ;Barb Wire, Steel Strip, and Buckthorn
Fencing, American and Canadian Coal Oil.
HAVE T.ROUGRING A SPECIALTY.
ALL WORK GUARANTEED. •
The Celebrated RAYMOND Sewing Machine always on
hand; also Needles to fit Am MAKE of Machine.
P. S. Highest price in Cash or Trade for Hides and Sheep
ISkins. Yours truly,
mrssz "fI't"r DROS.
The Beat Salve in the world for Cuts, Bruia-
ea, Sores. Ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever Sores,
Tatter, Chapped limb, OMIblaina,Corns, and
all Skin Eruption!, and positively cures Piles,
or no pay required. It is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction, or money refunded'
Owe with a dejected a.e, and as soonaocuex to assure me that iia a ncr Price 2e cents per box. For vale by all drug,'
as be could explain, he sand : Ristl,
had toutid also long man curried
'The bast of us together don't cod deal of weight with flim when There is no remedy known to medical acs.
know beans. g 8 once that can excel Dr. Fowlers Extract ofd
he eat down suddenly.—Detrott Fret Wild Strawberry as a cure for Cholera Morbus
'Didn't you Choke ?' press. Diarrktcea, Dysentery, or any form of Summer
'Qf course I did ---the biggest bind Complaint afflicting children or adults.
of a Choke, but what did the fellow do In the tennis match between Oxford an
but grab me, knock my lungs loose Cambridge, T.D. Longworth (Cambridge) lea
Sir E. Gray (Oxford) by three sets to one.
by pounding sue on the back. and
during my strongest paroxysm, pio''k
sty pocket of twelve shillings and
jam My month full of horseradish 1
1 wouldn't have been ua.d this way
for rio twenty five dollsrs aitd a
chrome,"
The Young Idea.
Pape 'Ethel, yon tnuen't sat 'I
won't to papa. l'if'e naughty,
RENOWNED REMEDIES.
'HOLLOWAY'S PILLS&OINTMENT
THE PILLS
Purify the Blcod, correct all Disordera of the
LIVER, STOk1ACH. KIDNEYS, ANI) DOWELS,
Ethel—'Well, but papa, what obeli Fluid Lightning does not take its day cs an l 1�hey i<trigorate and restore to health Debilitated (entiGtitntiona, and are invaluable in all
hour to rouloro Neuralgia lieadrklie Tooth- 4outplsiuts Incidental to Females f 11 , F
I sa when T mean I won't ?'-- (Life.
es o a ages. or &H&c a anti the aged Oman pnoelaes
c h , Iantnbaiw or ltheniaahstit, but wall as it -� � E OINTMENT
an e
'1 hat are the last teeth that come?' instantly, and without carrying your head :u a
asked a Lynn teacher of her class in poultice torn day or using greasy liniments.
haiolo . Try a 25 oent bottle from the Dominion Lab -
p y gy.
"False teeth, Mum," replied a bay oratosyON THIRTY DAYS' TRIAL.4
What Hay Happen as soon as who Aad just walked up as the back TIM VOLTAIC BELT Co,, Maraball, ]Molt„crit
seal. --;Lynn Union. send Da.Dyit'aCaraaaATED Ei;�ltcrao.VoLTAr9
the Bottom Drops Out off 4Wha' kind of pill. do you want, BELTS AND o ELECTRIC APPLIANCES on Walter
.Buckwheat.
little boy 2' *Ikea the druggist. 'Plain thirty days to men (young; or alai who are at-
;
Or sugar-coated ?'
A' d with sus debility, oat vitality
g ote wi nerv y,
l
Weekly Maverick. 'Mister , I went rho kind that"e and kindred troubles, guaranteeiug
What's the matter, Uccle Zeke '?' speedy and complete restoration othealtlt and.
'Matter enough, Jim, One o' them i whitewashed,-- Rbiladel phi! Call,, maulyvigor, Address as above. N, D. No
board o' trade"fellers hoz been a 1r in' i kir, our baby„ should bo accosted risk fs incurred, AS thirty days trial isallawed.
+ y for sleeping,' stud a boy to its moth- Shareholders in the Munster Bank have
ter get me iuto a epeckelation.' petitioned the Court for a compulsory rind
'What kind 011 a speculation ?' i er",wh Rlaai makes yon say iliac ? ing up of the institution.
'Waal, ye sec be'e got a corner ou 0. , AN INVISIBLE FOE,
The baby ie not guilty of any crime,
buckwheat that's about to break fiat,; said his mother.
The pofeououa germs of disease aro lurking
and he wants a lot of ua old farmers ,
to go in with lista and gel up a cern Oh yes, it is ; it a guilty of kidnap -
[Pretzel's Weekly.
er on tin.' Little -Annie was found one morn.
'How can you get anything out of
that kind of a epeoulation 2' ing bne]Iy crocheting. 'Annie. dear,
''Weal, he says that as soon as the it is Sunday,' said her malnma. 'Did
bottom drops out of buckwheat every-
body will go to satin' it.'
'Well ?'
'And they'll want their breeches
lined with nutmeg graters to scratch
theinaelvos.'
*( Yes, go on.'
'Waal, I told him that the farmers
would have their britches lined with
barb wire filet, or some feller that's
interested in keepin' prides down will
throw a curry comb in with every
sack of buckwheat. I've had a few
baud o' trade deals myself, Ji.n.'
e •. as 1
A. Mian of no Weight.
There were seven of U3 in the com-
partment of an English railway carri-
age when the train started from the
station. In one oorner sat a man,
long legged, tall, and lean. At the
next station three more travelers en-
tered. These filled the compartment.
Opposite the tall man, a short fat
MEM took his seat.
'Wish to goodness you'd move your
knees,' said the fat man, pelnlanly.
'Certainly,' said the tall man, as he
proceeded to stink his feet under the
seat opposite.
'Stop ! stop !' yelled the fat man.
'Didn't you see nie put my bandbox
there? no you want to emaah it?'
'I didn't see you put it there,' said
the other quietly.
'Well, you ought to then,' grum-
bled the fat man. 'Long, awkward
giants that can't see ought not to bra=
vel. Hate giants, at least, half giant;
regular old-fashioned giants, teu feet
high and five feet wide, were all right,
but they didn't want to travel by
train.'
The tall man looked at the epeakor
mildly and sighed.
At the next station no one got out,
but just as the train started one of
the railway officials opened the oar-
riage door and pushed a lady into the
compartment. The tall man immedi-
ately stood up and gave the lady his
seat.
'Just what I thought,' said the fat
man. 'Now yon can't stand upright.
People like you ought to ba made in- oelpher.
to two men. What's the use of giants, 'And ze rain is Dod'e sweat drops,'
—weak -hearted, knockkneed. Bah !shouted Tommy, in great glee. 'Ain't said one gentleman to another on our -street
Ever See a giant with the colic? it Jim ? An' Dod is oraottin hick• the other day. 'Now, takeniy advice," re-
' plied his friend, "go to your druggist and get
Ho! hot Pantomines ain't in it. I rum nuts for ze little angels like pa .a bottle of Dr. Fowler's Extract of Wild
saw one once with the colic.Qianl dose for us e'en we's flood.'- Tile Strawberry. I never have known it to fail in
colic, I 'epose, outsize one.`Twee Hatchet. curing any kind of Summer Complaints."
in the air we breathe and in the water we
drink. The system should, be kept carefully
purified and all the organs toned to proper ac-
tion. This can best be done Lvtbe regulating,
Is an infallible remedy for Bad Legs, Bad Breasts, Old Wouuds, Sores and Ulcers. It is
famous for Gout and Rheumatism.
FOR DISORDERS or TIsn CuzST IT iiV1 NO EQUAL.
For Sore Throats, Bronchitis; Coughs, (;olds,01audr1er Swellings. and all skin diaeasa
it has no rival ; and for contracted and stiff joints it actalike a charm.
The Pills and Ointment are said at Tnouas Hof AowAy's Bstablialuneat,
8 NEW OXFORD) -STREET tate (fids, OKFO1iD-STREET), LONDON ;
also by nearly every respectable Vendor of Meeliciue, in Boxes Buil Rota, at le. 141.. 25. 9d„
4s. Oil., IIs„'22s., and 38s. each. The 28. lid. size coutaius three times the quautity of the
Is 1#d, size ; the de. Gd. size six ; the 11a, size sixteen ; the 228 size thirty-three ; and tba
338 size fifty—two times the quantity of the smallest Boxes and Pots.
Full printed directions at affixed to each Box and Pot, and eau be has in any language
t Purchasers should look to the Label on the Pots and Bogies. If the address is not
533 Oxford Street, London, they. are spurious.
purifying and touin pincer of Burdock Blood
Bitters.
The liabilities of the suspended Munster
you forget 2' ' Bank ore .R4,319,000, incntding ,3,060,000 of
'Oh, no, mamma,' she replied : 'I deposits ; assets, 23,350,000
knew it was Sunday, but I am play- A GOOD FILTER.ing that I am a little Jew'.— [Chios- Pure water is indispensable to health, the
least impurity should be removed by a good
go Interior. filter. Pure Blood is also indispensable; stere
can be no perfect health without it. The
Liver filters the blood. Regulate the Laver
with Burdock Blood Bitters and snake pure
blood.
THE BEST YET.
There is uo preparation before the people to-
day that commands their confidence more, or
meets with a better sale than does Dr. Fowl-
er's Extract of Wild Strawberry—the infallible
remedy for all forms of Summar Complaints.
'How many Of you have been bap- BEST AND COMFORT TO THE SIMPERING
"Brown's HonseholdPanacea” has no equal
sized ?' asked the Sunday school torrolievingpain,both internaiand external It
teacher. curespain in the Side, back orbowels,soretbroat
Several of the children put up their Rheumatism, Touthaehe,Lumbngosudanykind
hands. of a pain or ache. "It will moat surely quicken
'Is there any one ales who has the blood audheal, aaits acting Dower iswonder-
been baptized ?' asked the minister, ful.''Brown's Household Panacea' being ack-
A young artist who was displaying
hie latest work, a picture of a lion,
heroic size, to a lady, said to the lat-
ter's little boy :
'Don't be afraid, little boy, that
lion won't hurt you. He is not alive.'
'Ob, I'm not afraid,' replied the
little boy ; ho don't took as if he was
alive.'— [New York Mercury.
A little girl shyly raised her baud.
'I haven't been baptized,' said she,
'tut I've been vaccinated.'— [Somer-
ville Journal.
Little girl from Chicago—'Oar fa-
mily is a more aristocratic family than
yours.'
Little girl from Boaton—'No, it
isn't. My mother can boast of her
forefathers for the last two centuries.'
Little girl from Chicago—' 011,
that's nothing. My mother can
boast of her four hnebaada in the last
two years.'— [Philadelphia Oall.
'Oh, yes,' exclaimed a South, Side
little girl, visiting her Bunt, near
Lincoln Park, 'we've got wire strains
in our windows, too.'
'Screens, yon mean, don't you,
Emma ?'
'No, I mean strains. I guess I
knew what I'm tensing about.'
'Weil, what are your strains used
for ?'
'To strain the air, of course.'—
Chicago Herald .
Little Tommy and Jimmy Stead),
boy were temporarily attracted from
thoir play recently by a violent thun-
dor storm.
'Jim,' enquired Tommy, the young-
ster, 'Does Dod make all ze thunder.
nms wif his areal big hammer ?'
'0l coarse, answered Jimmy, with
all the confidence of pa grown up bit -
nowledged as the great Pain Reliever,and of don
blethestrengtb of any other Elixir or Liniment
inthe worid,shouldbe in every family Bandy for
nse when wanted,"as itreally is the best remedy
.
in the world for Cramps in the Stomach, and
Pains and Aches of all kinds," and is for sale by
all Druggists at21 cents a bottle.
A WANT Of ACTIVITY,
Much of the ill condition of chronic invalids
is due to want of activity in a sluggish liver.
Burdock Blood Bitters arouse a healthy action
of the liver to secrete pure bile, and thus
make pure blood which giyes perfect health.
A WISE CONCLUSION.
If you have vainly tried many' remedies for
rheumatism, it will be a wise conclusion to
try .Hagyard's Yellow 01I. It eures all pain-
ful diseases when other medicines fail
A FREQUENT ANNOYANCE.
Many people suffer from distressing sick
headaches and bilious attacks of frequent oc-
currence which a bottle or two of Burdock
Blood Bitters wonld entirely remove. It re-
gulates the Stomach, Liver, Bowels and Blood
to a healthy action.
Holloway's Pills.— Weakening weather.—
The sultry summer days strain the nerves of
the feeble and decrepit, and disease may even-
tuate unless some restorative, such as :these
purifying Pills, be found to correct the dis-
ordering tendency. Holloway's medicine gives
potency to the nervous system, which is the
source of all vital movements, and presides
our every action which maintains the growth
and well-being of the body. No oue can ever
estimate the necessity of keeping the nerves
well strung, or the ease with which these Pills
accomplish that end. They are the most no- in the
failing antidotes to indigestion, irregular cir• & Pickard'e, where he is prepared to make
eulation, palpitation, sick headache, and cos-
WILLIAM!” DREW
IBJ r y- ''"'yi;ll�glk;.i,�,VU i
Undertaker
and
Cabinet-maker.
EXETER, ONTARIO
ONE DOOR NORTH MOLSON'S BANK.
TENNENT & TENNENT, Veteri-
nary Surgeons, Graduates of the Ontario
Veterinary College, Toren•
to, have op ened an office
for the trea tment o f a 11
Domestic Animals, on
Irleinstreet Exeter. Calfs
from a die--. --4 -r•"'tante promptly
attended to:- Medicine for Horses Cattleeke
always on hand:
411.141440011.
Wishes to announce to the inhabitants of
Exeter and vicinity, that he has opened out a
00 Ocsh
Op
korner Store North of Barnwell
tiveness, and have therefore attained the all kinds o: ordered work.
largest sale and highest;reputation. "
HE ACTED WISELY.
"I am so weak I can hardly move, all run
down with a Chronic Summer Complaint,"
Sewed work a speciality.
Repairing promptly attended to.
GEO. MANSON,
Late Manager C. Eacrett's Boot and Shoe
Establishment.
May 14th 84.
NORTIIERN
PCIF1
R. R. LANDS
In Minnesota. North Dakota. Mon-
tana, Idaho, Washington and Oregon.
From Lake Superior to Puget Sound,
At prices ranging chiefly from 12 to 16 per acre,
on 5 to 10 years time. Ti,is Is the Best Country
Mr securing Good Homes now open for settlement.
FREE
Land acres under the Government
and Timber Culture taws. NOTE
-10.818,43a 'Acres OR MORE THAN
VIALS of all tSe Public Lands disposed of in lead,
were in the Northern Pacific country.' Books and
Maps sent FEES describingthe Northern
heeFREE Government Lands d ddress toSar
B
LAMBORN, Land Com'r, N. P.R. lt., St. Paul, Minn.
Burdock
BooJD
BITTERS
tr