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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1884-10-23, Page 9allawarsewassettwisersessenewore Tho Honeymoon. Delighted Young husband—"What a treasure you are, my love. 1 thought you were so bound up in inane "aha painting and embroidery • and , ditch things that you would not think of giv ing attention to such unpoejiee th}nge as meals, br' here you have one of this most delicious plum puddings I have ever eaten." Blushing Bride --"Oh, I do not forget that you always liked nice things to. eat," "But getting me such a delicacy must have 'taken you considerable tithe." "Well. it did; but that was because neither Bridget nor I knew how to get it open." "Get what open, love?" "Why. the can the pudding came in." Pkilectelf•hia 4'all. ;kip and TnOlc. The train was rattling on, rickety Glick, rickety click, ""1 was in such a hurry to catch the train I didn't wait to buy a ticket,," said the New York banter, offering • a11pre goats at2Scent* abettl.. money, A Guadalajara, ;Mexico paper coins "Yes." replied the conductor. •ab- plains that it is not practicable to es. titraete(Iiy, as hepunched theneittran's teblish the telephone in that elty, be. ticket. "I notice that a good many asnna society la so ecandilou$ly low NOW York bankers aro ip a hurry to and lewd that there is nota telephone ewe the trains nowadays.;" "Well. sir. you needn't be insolent; here is the money to flay my fare." ""I know, but I cant take it, sir." "Ah, I see; the company doesn't let you conductors take money. 'Fraid you'll nasal it. I ace.." "lie. air; there :is no cempany rule against my taking it," !"Then why don't you take itP" "I'nt afraid I'd be arrested for re- ceiving stolen property." The banker looked out of the win- dow at the shady groves. cool, pellucid to ears, she read for an encore piece a Young lads, do not despair. Dr. E. C. Boston Caltnre.. The peculiar ons of the Hub has has often been. commented upon, but it has seldom reeeived any better illustra- tion than is given lathe following anec- dote of an incident which occurred many years ago between a, would-be passenger to Roston and the clerk of one of the sound steamers: "Capting, what is the fare to Bus- ting?" "In the cabiug, with the wowing?" "Yes, Oaptiug;" "Eleving shilling." Heaving; can't you make it seving?x, In several of his wbrks Tbackeray portrays his aristocratic characters speaking without sounding the final g in words ending in Soo. but it has been left to the Bostonese to tack this letter onto everyword ending in on. in, itin, etc. In ngland• the common or nn- educated people pronounce the ing with ale iutonattan, as tlainkin1G for Waking; and the Bostonese will find to their horror that their Anglomania errs on the plebeian rather than the aristocratic side. Prominest wreoag the greatest medical die, eovertes, by the many cures it has affected, McGregor's Speedy Cure lead the van. Sub- jeeted to the , . inuteat oh 1 . ' alysie, it i line been r;c.y' to jnrieus less age Every i , ni Minks io the rioas aiitpia'. for : .. . baa.laeessootnpounde(i, and its efftbilcy e'bee g established by testimonials hourly receiyed. We are therefore cont dent that we ;lave a prep�eration'whtch we can offer to the public with the assurance thot it will be fovnd not only a relief but an ulsolute cure for Dyapep. sia, Liyer t ompla'nt. Indigestion, Constipat- ion and l.rapure Blood. Free trial bottles at J. Ti. Browning's Drug Store. 4 ROT AND CO,?f11eOETTO TEBSUFI'EBIN43 gown"psi louseboldl'aantees"het noequal torrelievingpain,bothiuterealaud external It curespaiu in the Side, back or bewels,sore throat Rbenmatiam, Tootbacho,Lamhrge lindens' kind. ofapaiuorache. "It will 'tont surely quicken the blood and heal, as its acting nower Is wonder. tui. "'Brown's Household Panueose being aek- eowledged se the great Pails Rallever,aud of dots, blethestreugtbofany other Ellett orLinlnteut lathe world,shcetidbeinevery family bAndy for use when wertted;'aa It really i,a the beatremedy in the world for Cramps in the Storaaaoh,sand Pains and Aches et au kinds, " end le for sale by Tratd e A ar<. olappligg- taxation itligawntatesdesceforb rutilyiegthe ONE SINGLE APP1 CATI014T is warranted to Beautify the Pace and give to the Fadedor Sallow Coni - plosion as Rerreette health > iwtaara 44 Yauthial .A,ppearance. It Conceals wrinkles. klea, Crows Feet, end the Evidenco,of ,Age, leaving the Skis Soft, Smooth. and albite, 1'itiCE-00 cents. Sent to any address,. Postage fftamps taken. ,Address all letters to CREME 6' OR. Drawer 2,678, Termite P.O. C•yOnr drn_ggist. ;for it. Wholesale by , I whole: Pale tarnggists. apparatus where itt answer to a serletle question words are not wired which are disgraceful and obscene. Miming Ben's hale; Uefs;A, Georgia Cayvan is an actress with elocutionary ability. and she had been hired to recite on this occasion. Al- though she was from Boston. and must havonown that }Sutler's head--fam- lliar in those parts --was bare from top 1111000 Forfeit. Having the ttttnoatconfidence in ]t faupaari- erfty ovsr all others, and after tbou:rends of testa of the meet complicatedand t;evereat cases we could find, we feat jnotifeed ire otfering to forfeit One Thensand Dollars for any ease of coughs, cold!, sore throat, infineuzs,hoarse- zees; bronchitis, ooneurnption iu its early stages, whooping .couch, and ell diaeatvea of, the throat and muga, except tsthafa,for which we only claim relief, that we can't euro with West's hough Syrup, when taken (recording to direetioua. Sample bottles 2,4 and 5ff cents, large bottles one dollar. Genuine wrappers by mail bine. field p all druggists.01111(. or soneei Watch by marl on reacipt.af pr'oo. JOHN C. WEST 5 & CO., 81 rt 83 Kitts SI. East, Tcrooto,Ont. TIMES until 1st J'an',' 86 0 cts. Bili dth'k Oures Di..„tness, Loss of Appetite, Indigestion, Biliousness, BLOOD.Dyspepsia, Jaundice, Affections c, the Liver and Iia:«nc it Pimples, 1 krtches, humors, at Ft Rhetam, Scrofula.' ,Erysipelas„ anti all diseases arising from Impure .Blood, BITTERS Deranged ,Stomach, orirregular Isetion 4f the Rowels.. TO THE PUBLIC streams, while the train went rattling funny story about a i'nn's baldness. , West'la. Nerve and Braun Treatment will cure PP, rickety click, rickety click, as Butler sat directly behind her, like an Hysteria and all norrous troctblos. Sold at iUn*tretion of the anecdote. On his a, t5f, BrowuOic'e, Drug Store. 5 ( a For Sale Cheap for Cash —AT -- A MARTINET FISHERMANR ri ht were President Arthur and Gens, endo' and Han and on his loft were several Doctors of Divinity, a Mayor, d liii ayor, an some po t o ane, intent on dignified demeanor for they were in front row of a Masse full of notable& But all reserve broke and Ben bad to join in y the hitarit . dote of who was ill some "I am sorry I was so heedless, air, sort the BiI Magruder.' Nye of the army. Magni- said the twines, on meeting the ex - der looked at everything from a quir-t Governor behind the scenes. "Truly, 1 sisal point of view. Ito was an Irish- meant no offense, and wouldn't have man --a brilliant man --but so possess.. doom it for the world." ed with tho sense of humor that ho was b "Wouldn't have demo what?"' said thoroughly illogical. He used to dress he. in the most eccentric manner, and was ""Why—that---is--recited a --I mean always carrying out strange theories 1 would not have called attention to which he evolved from his inner oon- your baldness if 1 had thought." sciousness. When quite a young of Icer ""And aro you. sincerely anxious to he whiled away the tedium of itis gar- atone for that offense?" risen lite by studying law under Judge ""Indeed, and indeed, I'll do any - Gaston, A distinguished jurist of the thing for forgiveness." day. He was quite proud of this fact, "hen kiss the bald head thatyou'vo and was wont often to allude to it. dishonored," and be bowed it down One day Magruder became possessed gallantly in front of hog. with the idea that fishermen did not Georgia blushed, but did not falter. know how to catch haddock. He was She daintily deposited a vary small and stationed in Maine, and he determined smackless kiss in the middle of the to drill then to do it in a military broad expanse and ran away. i fashion. Hancock, Mr. More wrote to a idyl asking bear to sherry # "No o Store at praa4tit " A Military liaz,ar as an Inducement to Izeak Walton's erratic Sport. htm. Sha declined, and closed her note with : 0bald litaiii: a Though aurae/cue nausea may operate to tabihcnt Apropos of suicide being a crime. tarn tbo hair gray, all that is needed to re - says a writer in tbo San Francisco - store the natural color Is Beira Vegetable Si- Argonaut, I am reminded of an aneo- eiliea Hair Renewer. For more then twenty hears its sales bars been enormcue, but we ave yet to learn of its first failure. ea "Dithiplino is the thing, thir." In Ethics of Journalism. addition to his other eotiliaritics Ma- gruder lisped badly.p "Men should catch fish like soldiers. By heaven, thir this is true." No one was unwise enough to dispute it, and so Magruder wont to work to perfect his plans. Such is the force of earnest persuasion that he succeeded in convincinn quite a body of fishermen to go in with itim. At 4:30 in tho morn- ing Magruder made the round of his tents, for, in true soldier style, he had put theta all in tents. To his horror he found his men asleep. "By heavens, thir," said he to the man in the first tent, "why aro you not orae The fisherman only turned lazily in his cot. •'Get up, I tell you," said Magruder, angrily; "get up." 'The fisherman, unused to the sweets of discipline, only cursed. aloud. Here was a dilemma. "By heavens, thir," said Magruder, as he afterward told the story on himself, "I had to do some- thing to preserve discipline. So I told him that if he didn't get up I'd. cut his throat." It seems, however, that the man paid not the Slightest attention to what he considered an impotent threat. But, unfortunatelyfor him, Magru- der was quite logical in his absurdities. Besides, ho reasoned thus: "I have said I would cut his throat, and by heaven I must do it!" So thinking he stole up to the man, took a razor and drew it acrossthe cuticle, intending merely to •draw blood. But the man. moved, so that the gash was quite con- siderable. The sacrificial victim roared, and a man in an adjoining tent came to the 'rescue. • Magruder, turned angrily to the newcomer and said: "Tie this man up;to that tree." He did not dare to;hesitate.:. He saw the blood flowing freely from his com- panion's throat. Ile .saw Magruder• with a razor in his hand. So the mad was duly,tied up. "Now, this; will you get up in the morning and ge oitt fishing when I tell you?" The man, now terrified and weak from loss of blood, yielded, and proms. ised anything. - "Take him down," said Magruder, sternly. The • order was executed. "Now sign this paper." And with this he tore a leaf out of ,his note -book, on which he had written a confession that the luckless fisherman had cut his own throat in the intention of committing sucide. "Now, thir, if you dare say anything about what has occurred this morning I shall produce this, paper. The at- tempt to commit suicide is a crime. By heaven! I know. I havestudied law under Judge Gaston." Mr. McLaughlin, of Philadelphia, said to Gath: "I think the national couvention at Chicago was better re- ported throughout the American press than any convention we have over had. Tho newspaper profession has acquired mare self-respect. That is the first thing to be looked to abort the press. A man came in here yesterday and wanted me to take $10 worth of tick- ets for his benefit, the door -keeper of a theater. Said 1: 'I don't quite see why I should contribute $10 to you.' Ho replied that he had been very kind to the 'boys.' 'Now.' said I to the door- keeper, if you will turn every one of our 'boys' oft when they want to o in free, I will engage to give you $ 5 at your next benefit, and i will give that. to each of the theaters in this city.' Along in the night if the news is a lit- tle dull it is the habit of these news- paper men to sally out and look first at this theater and then take in an act of that, and half the time we cannot Iay our hands on them if something happens. Newspaper employes ought to be well-dressed men," said Mr. Mc- Laughlin, "and above accepting these favors. We want every man around us to feel that he is a gentleman, and that his privileges in communicating with the public are of a very excep- tional kind, and ought to give him high responsibility as a citizen." Said I: "Your Philadelphia papers are better than they formerly were?" "Yes," said he, "and it has been discovered that the success of a new paper does not supersede another successful one. The people read in proportion to the variety of the talent you set before them. If you make three good news- papers where , only one was good, a ,large portion of the people. take all three. Merely political stipendiaries have no longer any 'standing in our journalism. ' One of the best editors we ever had tliought it was an honor to go to 'Washington and be a secretary of the senate ' or. . something of that kind. With unexampled opportunities to bo the foremost citizen of his own state, he considered that those little offices dignified him. A different feel- ing has come over the press. All the conditions of journalism have changed. The .time was when a man wrote an editorial article by referring to what happened in the first year of the Chris- tian era. Now the blue pencil wipes out all that unnecessary verbiage." "How mucli does the Philadelphia Ledger inake?" I asked. "Over $400,- 000 a year. We have four or five morn- ing papers here which are in a very substantial condition. The afternoon press is not so prosperous. The Tele- grapli makes a respectable sum of money, ` and its older contemporary makes a living for its owners." s • THE ONLY VEGETABLE CURE FQR 1.035 of Appetite, (:„goction, Sour Stommc5, habitual Costiveness, Sick Headache and Biliousness, P:lee, ,3C, prr bottle. sand W all Druggist& ,011,41 MANHOOD How Lost, How Restosea. Ii1t,oCJ1MM\VnLL'Slleye �CELBB1iATED ESAAY entherm dtcalandpiornuutontcure (without me- dlcino)of NervousDebility,stental and physical Incapacity impediments to Marriage, etc., re. suiting from excesses. Price, in sealed oncelope, only 6 cents, or two nostare stamps. The celebrated author of this admirablcessay elearlydemonstrates,from thirty years' success- ful practice, that alarmingconsegaences maybe radically cured withouttho dangerous useef in tonna medicines or the use of the knife ; Point - out amodo of euro at once simple certain and et-, foctual,by means of which every stt$erer,tuomat ter what his condition nifty bo.may curohimsoif ch 3aply,privately and radically. larThi lecture shouidbe in the handsor every youth andevery man in tb a land. Address THE CULVI4;RWELL MEDIC AL -Co 41 ANN T.,NEW VORH Poet office Box 450 REMOVAL ! REMOVAL THE GENERAL QUESTION Agitating the Public mind at present is where can they get the best Bread, but this matter can be settled to the entire satisfaction of the people of Exeter and surrounding country, by calling on JOHN BELL, the old established and reliable bakery, where they will find just what they want. A Superior quality of Bread always on Hand Also a first-class stook of BUHOOITH, BUNS, CAKES & CONFIZOTIONANT, which will be sold cheap. While opponents have started busi- ness, and sold out, andleft the place, Mr. Bell has been found at his post, - during the past eight years, ready to attend to the wants of the Public. CROOEP IB9. Owing to increasing business, •Mr. Bell ha found it necessary to remove to more com; modious premises, and has added largely •: to Ins stock of Groceries, and will keep on hand Sugars, Teas, Coffee, Syrup, and everything usually found in a first-class Grocery Store, All kinds of Farm _Produce talo en in excliange>for•Qoods, RiAminicann;'1an STAND :--Southcott's dock, your doors North Post Ofiace., JOHN BELL, proprietor Old Sol.— "Here, Mother Earth, these Eclipses and Spots have about used me up. Regulate your movements hereafter 'by this, and don't depend on me A 13IG OFFER ELGIN, WALTHAM, HAMPDEN, and ROCKI+'ORD WATCHES, KEY & STEM-WINDERS, ALL THE LATEST IMPROVEMENTS AT GREATLY REDUCED PRICES The above Watcnes aro all Good and Reliable Time -keepers, end are warranted in every respect to be equal to any watch in the market. We specially invite intending purchasers to inspect our stook. by so doing they can save money, as we guarantee our prices 10 per ;cent. below the Grange. Very Large Assortment of. Clocks to be sold at Close Prices. JEWELRY—.&full and complete stock of the choicest and latest designs. NECKLACES & LOCKETS—A very fine assortment and at all prices. A large stock of WEDDING RINGS always ori hand and made to order. • Our Silver-plated Ware and Spoons we are selling off at Wholesale Prices—going to make a clean sweep of it. SPECTACLES to suit all sights. It is very important that spectacle wearers should be properly suited. We fit all our spectacles by the Optometer which is the only way of being properly fitted to snit the sight. So come along and secure the bargains Come One, Come All. Will be happy to see you Clocks, Watches, and Jewelry Cleaned and Repaired in the best manner and' at reasonable prices. THOS. FITTON, Watchmaker & deweller,