HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1884-10-2, Page 3A
J
Male and 'Female Oranks,
The man who apologies. What a
bore. .'.oinks an tapoinge :Settles all ac-
Itiith' his fences: ' Carelessly
a friend's tender toot.: •.polo-
gize;i and steps of them agsitr Walks
Along erowdodstlecta swinging bis cane
against petippli'ea o epnlcrrtzfti; right
and left. Turns to apologize to a man
bellied and runs into s Woman in front.
luxe apofogioing. ' Tltitik- he is very
polite.. Never stops to consider that it
he were the necessity for apology would
be rote ved,, Would that he might bow
himself • off the government pier or
choke on his tiresome "Beg pardon,
sir,"
The women who 'apelo,i . Fisting
for conipliinettts. IDresseal::in ber new-
est and best gown she aapologh'..s for her
appearance, At taebie'e;apologiae>s for her
poorblseuita .( for s tnehudv strong
enough to reply, "Well, -I halo. oaten
better," just to see her sly in :a raageand
den it. She ivlll3tce a eon; time, Heave
en• toes not +v is li for her,
rThe aims Who cannot Wait. Makes
everybody nervous. In the barbershop
walks up and downin a fidgety -rammer i
if he has to wait for to lnonient for al
barber After his shaved statute at i
the door half en hour wondering where
he will go to kill time. At the bridge
loses his paatienee and bloke OM at(Iv,
er` bully. Finally gets :eros,. and waits
ten urtntrtes to all a. friend how he dis-
likes to wait two. Attherailway erase-
ing says it is just- his infernal luck to
have to wait for :i lade ; train to id;t;s.•--
Sometiiues runs to get across ahead of
the train, and, being ;moss, stops to see
the train go by, Some time lie may net
relit quite fast enough to get 1eur ;s.
Great is hope.
The man who looks back to swear at
a truckmsn who nearly runs into his
buggy. T'rue;knean drives right along,
about his business. Man keeps swear.
log and looking back at him. 1i4ll not
a tire ermine please come down street
in front and kuoek hial Qver a block of
two?
Woman who primps. Disgustingly
neat. Everything In its place—except
the woman. She has a dust rag inher
hand, and is in everybody's wear. Makes
you get up and let her dust the chair'.
you have sat on for an hour. Leeks
completely tiieoura; ed at your !lusty
boots. Never opens doors} or shutters.
lest sunshine get in and fade the carpet.
Keeps windows hermetically sealed to
shut out dust, Life, though short, is,
alas, too long In certain ensu;.
Matt who wraps 0.0 bill outside a roll
ofOnes. �-.- -- --- - -�-- �.
Harmless, though.
Man who talks to himself on the street
Not always eratzy;, not always. elan -
is plentifully supplied with him.=-
aoinetimes lie talks because his mind is
so engrossed in business he forgets
where he is. Sometimes he trills' to
reeke people believe he has a mince and
that it is engrossed. He would like to
be deemed a molt absorbed man. If
the lake would only absorb him.
The woman who washes ott Monday.
Cannot think of doing her washing *le
any atherdat: Postpones her husband's
funeral until Tnesday because 'Monday
is washday. Must have breakfast at 8
getis "s nutr the way • e
to dl, u., e f early and
1
bive tate day to the mistier order. May-
e this woman will fall in a washtub
some Mauelay morning before anybody
is up to help' her out, While there's life
there's soap. •
The man who cannot tell a lie. How
stupid. Can't tell a lie to entertain a
friend. Sticky to the truth, no matter
how stale ;and uninteresting It inav be.
Doesn't knew that the right to be de-
ceived is the most precious of all human
rights,` Thinks it Is sinful to violate
truth and make people happy. Must
tell a sick teen he is dying, even if it
kills him. May he never hear any-
thing but the truth: The curse is cone
piete.
The man who uses a book-mark.—
Thinks
ookmark.—
Thinks he has read up to it. Does not
know that if he had read and not mere•
ly skimmed, he would need no mark to
find where•he left off. Does not know
what reading means. _Chicago Herald.
Good Advice Promptly Taken,
"Young man," said a president of ode
of the western roads to a candidate for
employment. "Young man, I can do
nothing for you beyond giving you
little advice, Do as I did, andatter make
yourself a self-made man,"
"But how did you do it P" inquired
the job -hunter.
"I started out in life as a switchman
on this very road. I was poor but am-
bitious. In order to get my first start
I married a girl, got `ter life insured,
started her'oft on her wedding tour alone,
derailed the train, "collected the insur-
ance, mulcted the company in $10,000,
and ' bought a: passenger brae eman's
place."
"That was ingeuion ," commented
the applicant.
"Then I married ane her Iranian. in,
sured her life, and ane tight when the
T
train stopped to cool a of
box, ), didn't
flak the f eight cominw•:along behind. I
n
collected • ilio rn ran o
su ce u her,of an-
,
x>
other ten thou.,and )u a
chsedac
on
ductor's sit. *From that the rise was
easy,and now I ownthe road: 1 d. Doa'
s]
did. Relyon . ourself and .
askno man
for assistace.
t
night
t
i
e
"Much obliged," replied the; youth
carelessly: ,• ' 1',11'p'r off' by your advice.
1 know where Icanget a job on a news-
paper, and 1 'don't know how, I can
make a better start than by publishing
your experience `; Good morning i
But the selfzmade man called' him
baik, and now the youth is treasurer of
the whole concern.—Drake's Traveler'':
Magazine.
WIT AND HUMOR.
_'Rtroaj's E u ty Salta.,
•' Edgewee d," Sat it is Celled, is.ten-
nntless. While its owner roams in Eu-
rope. She left here a. little over a'month
ago, with her children, for A five years'
tqur abroad. The grottirds aro kept in
tolerable order, by the •faithful servant
interesting'telll &
A man named W. Labelle baa been arrested
ort a charge of stealing shores worth $Iii from
a farmer at St. hose, Que,, and to cover the
theft 6et'fir to
the *tablets s And bares, which ol(
were destroyed. The property destroyed wrra I
worth $5,000.
In whole charge:they were left by her. t Bueklen'SAFntcaSalve. I
$.ut tee great house, with its rich fur- The. Best salve in the world for Cuts. Bzais-
nishingsa stands precisely as she left
and the broad acres of tae tttagni0cent
estate lie uncultivated, R is a charge-
toiled°. southern nm9,nsten set in the
es, Sores, ulcers, Salt Rheum, Fever :ores,
Tetter, Chapped hands, Ctailblains,0orns,aw l
all Skin Eruptions, and positively cures Piles.
or no nay required, It is guaranteed to give
Magnificent forest vvhlelt enriches the perfect elatisfaebou, or mono} 'refunded.';
P� °�' t b
rice -a gens per oC. For sale by all drag-
hills north of the city'. Vann the broad Stats. •
Yer'andaha Which gr=aee the fraitrt of this 504 itis i'terd.
bending the visitor looks through an mitis
of ening; in the v �, down • a t1 case o. _. ve3rsaatnp astir" -. yspepao; blckirearl..
tY of Washington, with the white- Helie, f'ndtgeetion, tionsttpatioeu or Costiveness
dome of the capitol gleaming flit the we cermet eurewit - Weer* Ve^•
o _tit „etublo Y,ivier
sunshine or the ° mellow moonlight, its fills, *sten the iisectiotzsare strckiyeotxrldlteci
the ease may be, all making as beautiful with. They ere purely Vegetalaiee, and :evert
picture, fail togive satisfaetien. anger coated. Large
"Idow is it," was asked of this friend boxes, containing 30 i'i1l6, 25 cents. For sale
of the fair proprietress. " that this tine by all Druggists. Beware of counterfeits sisd
estate was left idle?" "That," was the Unitatioiis. The Genuine ranufastured only
reply, "is what fro one knows. Cer.: by JOHN O. WEST ,2 00., "The Pill mak--
tautly Mrs, Chase is not so well otr:ti- M "" 81 do 83 •Einb�Street EactToronto, Ont,
°anehdly as to be table to throwaway Fre° trial package sent by' m fit-prelaalred ou
such g place. She is however,.:a very receipt of a thre:c cent stains,
peculiar Woman, and if site can't get I MMMARKAlirt RESTORATION.
what site wants she is not likely to let it Mr'. lig O'Brien,S7$. Exehtnege St:e'er, Bnf
go at all. Sista has peau offered i a .. falx, wiaa bnppeseal to the dying with consume,
P S 4m t RAn up Id the # will Par tlie above
reward fair any
mouth for the:house • nod she won% ton and abandoned by her ph sleian. She
take it. Shhefalba 0200`4 mouth, and suffered terribly said as reduced in flesh to
utaless she gets MAL Pram to lot It r pati}rducl: g oo4 BUIe rs, andtu w¢epjo� art r.
stand idle, (., neer, well, it is abont en feet heal a w .,� 1
th an wog ttg one it an fort '-
ii par with i st 01 1 I
p t tl n q her six, Slier fail! gladly rumor enquiring sa;lTex-
Now, here Is on estate worth $80,000— ere an receipt of U. S. I't,atage stamp.
she has leen offered that for itis -and Caner .piney attempted to escape from
vet she b ill not hake any use of it. "13" battery ret Kingston an Satnrduy, but was
Withy, she wouldn't allow h tilled when defeated in the attempt, He was found in
piain clothes, arrested and catut•tpartaaleit.
she lived here„ Ste kept two or three
men employed keeping it inorder, but
wouldn't allow the ground tilled.
"But," suggested the correspondent,
"it has been stated that eoa rens has
relieved the estate from taxation."
"Teat," continued the gentleman re-
ferred to. "is like many other thiuga
that have beep said abeut this family,
It Is only partly true. Congress did
relieve it from certain taxes but those
were back. tales altogether. Tete place,
you know. beloisged to her father. Ile
bought it long before the war. After
I& death it was- found that there were
some $20,_000 taxes due and unpaid on
it. Well,: Kate was pretty shrewd. She
knew her power. and hew to make use
of It to advantage. She proposed to
the other heirs that she would take tete
estate just as it stood, providing for the
tame herself, giving up to them, I sup-
pose. certain of the other property.
.Choy armed to that. The property
was transferred to her, In her own
natutero tt after awhile Suttle bill made
its appearance incongress remitting
the taxes then due. That, however,
clow not atl'e'.ct it new."
'rho old servant now in charge tells
many; storiu; l.lustrating the peculitari-
ties of his mistress: She wouldn't let
hint plant cabbage anywhere near the
.. ..
house, because site could 3luell
Liter, spring she engaged a. man at a
very high price and stst'lu*n to Mowing
up the fields. She saaitl site was going
to make the lanai cf some use to her.
.But, bless you, ho hadn't got it plowed
before she called him in one day and
told. Intos
r allwork of it that she
was going to Europe, to be absent live
a e•:u..-- Weaslungton Letter,iti Baltimore
Jmer ican.
When a tall .wOrmin thrashes her short.
husband, with a shovel she stoops ts.
conquer.'
A. trade paper called the Corset, is
talked of. It will; no d ., r„ • "come to
stay."
Making a Oast.
Now let us try to ,asst the line. To
do this, as a weremutier of preliminary
practice, tie a small weight, say a little
,block of wood. an inehlonganil as thick
as your little finger, to the free end of
your line, which has beeu Brawn out
through the tiering some eights or nine
Frank Bedard. a reailent of Malone, 1 N. Y..
committed gimlets by taking laueianur at the
Windsor Rotel. Cora,>,vait, Thursday night.
Are you troubled 'with Salt Bimini. Roe&
Banda, or 014 Sores of any kind that Cannot
be healed ?liven though it be 01 years sten.
ding Aie0regor & Parke', Varbolic Geste ml'
cure it. Beyand the shadow of a doubt it is
the best heeling compound ever kuowu. ]bila.
Festering, Frost Mites, linrrta or atm Seri*
Trouble. are alike cured by it. field at :3
yenta by 3. W. Browning, Druggist. 4
SAWED FROM THE SCALPEL,
A Torantei lady, Mrs. Berkensbasv. ton
traded a disease of alae Ease Mut mill watt
advised to stdtrnit to at etwgical opetatiou by
the heat physician attending; all ether treat.
meaty having failed, when Haagyard'a Yellow
Oil was tried and ttpeedily eff• clyd acme. It
is the nufalling remedy for accidents and eat•
crgenciea. Sand is for internet .and external use.
ON THIRTY DAYS' TRIAL.
'len VOLTAIC !genus (:o,, Marshall. dich.,i it
isend 1ln.Dre'sGf:Tauu.t.ran Browne -Vermin
BELTS d\a Bnsurntet APPLIANCES on trialler
bitty: drays to men (young or ohs) who are af-
flicted with nervous debility, dost vitality
And kindred troubles, guaranteeing,
quietly and complete restoration of health and
rnanlyvigor, Addresn as above. N. 11.—No
risk ix incurred. as thirty days' trial isallowed,
amiwen ru.$ eurrssurs.—Why do so many
people we see around us,seem to prefer to ant
by i 1• • n n -
be blade miPcrnblo net ratio eo
Sid
e and,
6
etipatkn), tlizeiuesei, lora of nppstite, coming
up of the loop, yellow skiu. when for 7d cents.
wo Wiill sell them Shiloh's Vitalizer, gnaraute
ed t• cure them. Sold by 3. W. drowning,
Exeter. i; o w,
DANGER IN THE AIR„
The ieeent strange planetary movements
and electrieet lalreuotuttta bare developed the
fret that the earth is Massing through n dang
aratts peritrd when atmospheric influence will
seriously effect Inman health, Fortify the
weakenedsystem with that grand tonic regu.
lntor, Bnnloek Blood Bitters, and avoid um.
!Arial blood poisons.
Twelve business failures are reported in the
Dominion during the past week.
Scrofula, said all forma of scrofulous disease,
are rapidly puiged out by the rise of ^cr's
Sarsaparilla.
A FACT.
Tbete nre oils white and oils black,
feet. Now, standing firmly erect in an Put up in bottles short and tall,
easy position, take the rod in the right
hand, grasping, it by the handle just
a ve the reel; with the thuiub and fore
fii' er of the left hand take Holt hold of
But Hagyard's Yellow 011, for pain,
Is the very best oil of all.
It cures Bhettmatism, neuralgia, deafness,
sprains, bruises, contracted cords, sore throat,
the lift of wood at the line's end. You ' frost bites, burns and all soreness of the flesh.
are now ready for a cast. The red is It is for external and iwteanal use.
nearly vertical and the line is drawn
taut.
man named. Wood/min bad .both
taut. - By a notion gradually increas-
ing in rapidity, wave the rod 'backward
over the left shoulder. at the sante time
loosing the bit of wood and allowing the
line to swing straight out behind you.
Then, before the wood can touch rhe
ground in your rear, wavo the reel, by a
graduallyy quickening motion and with
feet cut off by a freight train at Napanee on
Friday.
If your bair is turniug gray, don't use the
poisonous dyes which burn out its life and
produce many diseases of the aoalp. Ayer's
Hair rgor is positively harmless, and will re-
store the natural color of the hair, stimulate
its growth, and bring back its youthful gloss
ane beauty.
a slight curve to the right, forward so . Allardyce's planing mill, Hamilton, was
as to whip the line to the full length burned lrst Friday night,
that is tlnwoilind, straight out before Wife—What,s the mattter now, John 2
you, allowing the block, which at pros- Husband—Oh. that aenealg,a and tooth-
ent is your' icy, to settle lightlys en the ache near killsmei -
ground- Now, to cast agniu, wind off, . Wile --Why dont you go to J. W. Bro,vn-
's Dru Store and et a bottle' f Fluid
y turning the reel, a foot more of hue, Lightning? You lcnow it cures all such
and then, by a gentle sweep of the rodthings as Toothache, Neuralgia, Headache.
upward and backward, Cling the line Lumbago: Euraohe, Sore Throat, etc. Tt giyes
full length straight behind you, and be- instant relief. 4
fore it can fall to the ground throw it HOW TO CURE A CLD,
forward again as in the first cast. Try Take some gentle opening medicine, bathe
this over and over, until von get so that the feet in warm N ater, adding a spoonful of
you can,iiing out twelve feet of line ev- mustard ; remain indoors ;' equalize the circn-
ery time and make your bit of wood go lation with 'warm bath nud friction ; drink
to just the spot you nian at. warm ginger tea, and take Bag3•ard's Pectoral.
This;adeoniplished, von ere ready to Balsam, the most perfect and the 'safest cough
begin liriac'trpe on water with coil; You' - cure that can be proom•ed.
must 'noty ` rig yout'cast, ' a5: anglers.: A OELESXIATPD CASE.
1 S''
that�you n,u5t loop .11 f aha 7a u
iso c feet of r s f W. Ed a f
say;The remarkable •lii,b e c
r al 1 A
., 1 d
heavy "sill gut;" called a stretcher,: on Franlcville, wdo pullet tel from disease of the
d allhoe of • liver un 1 kidneys so badly that
the end of yoijr line, to which stretchedc �3' yp
re -
two, flies must be attached by short covery. 1a as abandoned. He remained ten and
thirteen u' nt• ac ion of the bowels.
pieces of like material, one at the end days rthe ti
ofBlond of the' str•etche>; R; and the outer two :or. Ji cur bottles Burdock B10 1 Bfifers restored
three feet; frim* the oit. The shot t lrr,qIli:. mnf yeahealth,
before. ll,ch be hadnot knoecn
fortwenty
by winchthe fi is ',attached : to the
stietchtris calld a Snell or snood.
From I//Wow/0Pills 'Nrnrrousness and wilut of
„ _ , •sleaett� for Black
Energy.-AViteu first tlre.r:eves feel rrustruug.
Fishing
in ,St. Aricliolrts. and listlessness''tiitpplauts energy, the time
has owns to -take some swill alterative as Hol-
loway's•Pills to: restrain a disorder front dee-
veleping, itself into. a disease. These exeeileut
'Pills correct all irregularities and weaknesses.
They act so kindly, yet so energetically. on the
funetibusof 'die estion and 'assimilation, that
the: whole body is revived: the blood rendered
richer and palter,: while th•e muscles' become
firmer and stronger, and the navel's and ab-
sorbent system, are Invigorated. These Pills
are suitable dor all classes (Ina ages; ' Theyhave a most marvellous effect on persons who
are' out of condition , •,they soon rectify what-
ever is in, fault;; restoio strength to the body,
and coufideuce to the mind.
goltib aootit tile streets of
Laramie claaip ing,to be.John the Bap;
tist. He has dight hair and chin whisk-
ers, is stout built,. and looks like ai' farm-
er. We desire (says:Bill-Nyey to warn
those of our readers' who may be in -
Mined to trust him that he'is not what
be purports to be. We have taken great
pains to look tab" matter up and furl as
a result''Of our research .that ;trihn the
Baptist is dead.
L IV.A1-4UAB3LE
. Neat-
+F Mult Lobo
hg fi
- e a'',
far
TO EVER I _a_DY
a
cant' j,r. -r •: -- --ila'/%
Agri
6
a��
eats seevrionce of ace. Neopi
4atettocathewonttubbtrnlyred.aud i•-\: -isong ndaleantifilt}*aft and white. Ie- •._
seem r "' MAY D W" is not a PAisat or
trend, at ilP tho,poree of the skin, aidd ,ice r
that Jima. n pus to the skin buts new null
great *Mel> vv,. a i'v,at.tLlel ono,,. laatesusos i %;,
the cheek glows with taealth. tete reek, env, F •'. $ `
taudtianals rival timidly in whiteness. Ilse
possible totont ill the beauty itconfere an _ _ .. -
Artretcial c saz-a er. It care's Greasy 3' :, . a .- •;:
Freckles. Wrf es. Pia aples. Stick
crow's (I,.�e�ek�.,. liit, ' F v"e' a Gratbgs. /vw,,r ' ,
. TOSS. 1lin 2'ad.,nlraa Vl..'4r�. r, Sorj or Chau J^` / .-•' 3� '
pestrripe..Dethere 1isfa,rTettcr.eke, It frees "
Meierperm oil glemis,end tubes frontsthesuoar-
iom,Recta of prevdereand tioareene washes,
Ay its nae sal rpleerts and rancheros ars pre..
vented; It healt:Itea the elven, anti wilt more ib
soft, emote aala;l.wbilo; Imputing.* deiisious
softness;.prudnetee a perfectly* bealtby,aature
al,rand yeathhil akplienrellee. The beet, fees
" Iatioe that the world ever prodctced. We wilt
;f end'" A WWII rlOTrL " to any 9-1.;rwaat flit re.
eell"t orM'ricH. 1, Witetiroxateraata, L..emir, e'lti
paper,
.tddrees Mt totters to tete t, ,.
afxr DEW kOERCZ a
71 •Teuiag-atreet. Tiiroi:te,Ont,
Varier mite Reception it aa,'at for l+ta;lles.
suillirsilnINIMIRININIMMIIIIIIIIM
B 1
HEADQUARTERS
POI
Hardware,
Spades,
Hoes,
Po oksg,
Scythes,
Barb wire and steel strip fencings
$70(444% Unitt St XSUggy *CIA
CHEAP AIT
I3ISSETT BR0S1
_ ... _ ___ RENOWNED RTIMEDIE.S,
IInn
ASS �'It�.S�DfNT 'h�T
- THE PiLLS
Purify t'he Bleed, correct all Disorders of the
Linn, STOMACH. KIDNEYS, AN DOW ELS.
They invigorate and restore to health Debilitate*? Constitutions, and are invteluablo in al
Complaints incidental to Females of all ages. For children rana the aged they ere nrieeles
THE OINTMENT
Is an infallible remedy for Bad Legs, Bud Breasts, Old Wounds, Sores and Electra. It ie
famous for Gout and Rheumatism.
FOE DISORDERS OP THE CHEST 15• Ilan .so Herne.
For Sore Throats, Bronchitis, Coughs, Colds, Glandelar Swellings. and, all skin disease
items no rival ; and for contracted and stiff joints it acts like a ehan•w.
The Pills. and Ointment are sold at Tnottas Hor'Low.Y's Establishment,
78 NEW OXFORD -STREET Late (533, OXFORD -STREET), LONDON ;
also by nearly every respectable Vendor of Medicine, in Boxes and Pots,at la. lid., 2s. 9d.,
4s. 84., lis., 22n, anis 33s. each. The 28.94. size co.,taains three times the quantity of the
is lid, size ; the 48. 6d. size six ; the lis. size sixteen ; the 22s size tbuty-three ; and the
33s size fifty-two times the quantity of the smallest Boxes and Pots.
Full printed directions are affixed to each Box and 'Pot, and on be luta in any language
1 Purchasers should look to the Label on the Pots and Boxes. If the address is not
583 Oxford Street. London, they are spurious..
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and.
Cabinetrnaker.
ONE' DOOR NORTH 1VIOLSON'S BANK