HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1884-8-28, Page 3WIT All tt HUMOR.
An exebange says that -Earl Dullferie
has been jiresetite:i with iht insignia of
the Order .of Bath-," which is a very
neat way of stating that lx:s lordship
has
lbee i a)tclThtr•h� putout. with a bat of seep.this hospitality is the result of falcula.
ion. When a man is going. to visit his
U• R,sr.
.l f!\t
env enitic�l l tt
t 1� the i
An 1
r
r* i sstraight h))e i
neR i he never )t.a a
t . 11to tho
t 114
distance between a church an 1 the house, but walks :donee'the road, and
nearest saloon at a mile. We're afraid stops as if by chance at the window mid
this leaves mighty fete spots in Ken- bogies a, con+en ttiou•' theta, if the nuts -
WOW, where it's legs! to build a ter or mistress wishesto see him, they
church, invite hint in. The conversation begins
A Brooklyn colored than who was by inquiries after every member of the
having 3n affidavit prepared for him to
swear to, was a•sked by clic notary; how
be spelled his name, -Nebbtre mind
the spelling," said the tlttsky affiant,
less put it clown."
Sib3ria11 Hospitality,
Even hospitality, that trite Sclavonic
eirtuc, has not beeome teelitnatized in
this inhospitable region. Tee j)eas: nts
like to visit and treat each other, espec-
ially on high -clays and holidays; but
family by name, the samovar is pre-
pared, and whilst it is beating the
guests discuss the crops, the potty saltn
dal of the p1alace. etc. When the samo-
var is ready; they drink tea, out of sau-
It is now asserted that the plumbers eers, now aud deem taking a.bite of a
are an oppressed and much -maligned -piece of sugar. In this way they con -
class, and are forged to band together sulne about three cups, and then turn
for self-protection. We shall presently the cup upside dealt. placing on the
be discovering. that the hotel elerk is a bottom the remains of the wear they
timid and unobtrusive individual. have been nilabling at.' The beet and
Pittsburg Uivo(& hostess now IItese the visitor to leave:
more tea; but that is 'Merely a matter
of forth, as custom forbids any mare
being taken.
As soon ae tea i over, the guest rises
tU go, andthen the fullenwing dialogue.
invariably takes pl'aee:
"Why etre you in such a hurry?" says
the hostess.
"I like. company well ellouede-` said
Mrs, Planetung,: "but I'm not going„ to
put myself out too • mneh.e? 1 believe
in looking out for one's e,nufot't first."
"That is to say," renlnrked Fogg,
"that you follow the custom of the
shop sign end put the etunpany last."
./losfoo Tninseripe,
Thrtttign the volume 4f the New ""Ti1ne to tfo 'Moine,'" ttiiswerS the
York ,11(ul we bear of n lirooklynstates, gstesr. .,
mall Who.t)r'lerDii eie:Il'lnttce russc, "Stay a little louger."
to eat you; eon
"liavu given us Plen•
blew the froth otT the tap of it,
thea, lehtm asked to (explain Why ht ty U eat anti drink.
Isere ebut little
did so, said he thought it was It new `'\ othoo lve
kind of been. , was quite en4ngh; we
w
Same people. will never reeenive asci. bad pleats.
me etlnversatlou,which alwaysvier in the right tray, The Cincinnati takes place and is almost mechanically
Enquirer says: "A noted physician reheated, beim; ended, the guest ap-
advises that the strawberry never be .•)e oacbes the bolt and, takinohis hands,
eaten except *half an hour before break. says, "1 thank you for the vodka, the
fast.' The strawberry is nice, but not tea, the enkes, ,he sugar, etc."
quite nice enough to take to bed with It is indispensable when thanking the
us." host the neutletilan who catches 1118 host to enumerate everything the guest
ball,"raid bushel; an y doeca he wearr ba consumed during his visit. At the
a mask?" And Anabarl looked upon ende shislh el is tuleometto seogue the e hioe,wbiebhumbl,
her cousin \ed's tate With b* OIU t after a time, he does, and things s o on
pride, when be prumt y answerew exaetl\ the sante way. Care must
"That is to protecthis fare, Bel; an be taken that the viands provide'l are
uoiy mutt; wouldn't harmonize with a
nteo pitcitor. you know,,,
Nearly two hundred skulks were re-
cently dug up frons a trench in an old
mound near Redfield. Dakota, They
had double teeth all around the lower
of -equal quantity and quality; If at any
time a wan eats or r d -. more that(
the host, when his guest. on a former
acasiun. dict. quarrels. uphrtidiu s, or
sareaStie r/enlarks are the result.
"1 gave them tea and sugar,and titer
jaw and the average teal'ity Letitia hold lave the nothing but teat" or; ""I gave.four pound's of brains. Thee luu•.l them ,cake. and Diad laughing but bread
have been chief's r•f the brand that our in retyrn."-'=-1 iferarU Ii-vrld,
dude .factory --pardon, the otlense, we ` -_� -•� • ---------
mean our university -proposes to turn A Coward Chien a &anai= Habuke.
out -Texas yllai is . A tragedy was preveuteil at Cape
"Have yen ever triad the faith cure?" May recently by the presence of John -
asked a long-haired, sallow -faced son, a pr1tft".sional swimmer, who is
stranger, addressing a gentleman who hired to stay in a boat outside the dap.
sat behind. him its a Brooklyn street ger line, through bathing hours, and
car. "I have," fru, the answer. "Do watch the basses. A iii ori'rfully-built
you believe in it?" -1 do." "':bitty 1 ask nate whose name. unfortunately. could
then, of what you were eured " "Ver- not be learned, wee Nu Mug. to eompa-
tainll'. 1 Was euretl of ntr• fuitll."--- ny with a young woman. whom he was
L'rotiklyu Eagle. teaching tat float, Il„ u a. a goo.' swtn-
Manager of the Parthenon:, "And met'. and. proi,;tblL tt i.'nout tete n'liu:r
what ;experienee have you 'h'ati, my, it, took her tetu:.i.l,"rabl\' (tett of her
lord?" "Oh ---1 played Romeo at the depth. Suddenly she learned this and
jollity last Thursday moraine.. 1 was beettnie alarmed. kicking_ and streanm-
ea lett before the curtain seven tithes."
Manager: "Then 1 think your lord-
ship
ordship may study the first servant in our'
next piece. Ile eomes iu in the last
act, you know., and says 'dinner
ready.' "
Somebadv who knows says that.
Clara I•,lniee Kellogg, the prima donna, -
fug violently. The nitro could easily
have saved Ler. but he turned, and
with a dozen strong strokes, swam in
himself, leaving her helpless. She
trust have drowned had not Johnson
rowed quickly to the spot and jumped
in after her. Diving, he brought her
to the surface, and ihcn. without troub-
never had auy ilea of marrying Mr. 1e, to the shore.
Is
of - "The rnntlernati who ere hat tchilom escort was waiting,
was
pleased Miss Kellogg g most some years abotand ittto supporttting Iis lll+ r half -fainting rm nd 2 form
ago,` he says, " i. now the brilliant'
editor of a 1)rolltineut Western paper, to thebttll , house, but anutwho
who is till uiuiutt tied." This state- had seen. the whole occurrence from the
ment Is true with the (exception of the bier arrived in time to prevent this.
last sentence. W * have been married
several years--11,.evil Free Press,
xtonding his left arm rather suddenly
Ire touched the felicity behind the ear
with Itis knuckles with sufficient force
---~-�r• �" -- to send him flying a dozen feet away,
faini:tzra Should Sp 'ak Sarllmns, Not Read when he. fell in the water half stunned.
Them. Then the last tomer, amid enthusiastic
cheers from a hundred wituesses, took
the girl himself to the bathing house.-,
New Yor1:.11eralcl.
The lnan:tgers of esu)rt•hes cannot too
50011 hew :tit ny the (.kilt.:, made an. open
platform, put :t little at one side the
smallest of desks, and hid the minister,
if Ito has anything to say, to stand out
like a inau autl saw it. There is no
other way to speak eftceti.vely to audi- cents, sail! an antis darks to a man
ences which no longer take the sermon with whim he had settled for some
for granted but want a voice. of livigg wort; a short time before
power.aud instruction brought home to. • "How del you make out that i owe
living interest. No doubt therearesome you fifteen cents?" inquired the man.
"Dns was a trade dollish yer guy me
fur•my work, sale an' site ain't worf
mor'n eighty-five cents."
"Slit won't give it away," said the
man cautiously, and shaking his head,
"don't leas anybody know it. There's a.
Almost a Monarohy, -
"Say, boss, yer's owin' me fifteen
readers of good sermons who could not
change for the better; but of the rule
there) eau be no doubt that life andpoty-
er aro lost by roading, and that proper
training and preparation. to speak with-
out the bondage of notes can alone make
the best type of preacher, It is s method kits in thf..country against taking trade
which requires better training and more dollars for pay, and if the authorities
thorough preparation than the other, hear about it they will put you in the
and for un trained and unleaeued preach- calaboose."
ors it has pitfalls of sorry failure. But
for the scholar skilled to speak, there
is no method at all equal tole - The
thoroughly living prophetic word comes
only through spettkin'n from the heart;
only the ut.art must `have- material of
true learning and well considered con -
elation. -Edward C. Towne.
Seven years ago last January a couple
near Bennington, Vt., quarreled as to
who should light the fire iu the parlor,.
and from that day;to this none hes been
made in that room. A. word to the wise
is sufficient. The wise man of the house
will take a, •pint front th(e proceeding
thus stated. •
An old lady in the Conn tvy had a, dandy
from the city to cline with hor on a cer-
tain occasion.. For dessert there hap-
pened to be an onormotts applecpie. "La,
ma'am!",said be, how do you.;manaae
to handle such a lee? "Easy enou;h,�'
was the reply; "we make the crest in
in a wheelbarrow, wheel it under the
apple -tree, and then shake the fruit
down intra It
"Am dat a fan' boss? Well, for de
Lewd's sake, cis conu.try nen gittin to
be almost a monarchy of do laws am
dat stringent. All rigett, boss, doan't
think for a, mina it I'I!guv it away." --
Texas Siftings.
The Viceregal carriage, with its cav-
alry escort the officer riding by the.
door with las drawn stword and thecae
of the detectives following, is a familiar
sight ,in Dublin. Police protection,
however. short's lately signs of being on.
the wane.
A French paper gives some informa•
tion about the submarine cables of the
world. Nearly all the lines :under the sea
have been .made by English :workmen,
bought with Euglish money, ancl laid
down byEnglish engineers. The capital
of the ,three companies reaching from
London to the countries of the East rep-
resents more than 31,000 mites of snlimn.
rine cables. Tire E'eglish companies own
13,000 miles, againsi10,000 miles owned
by others of the c ables between Europe
and 'America. 'Net more than. a tenth of
the 12,000 miles of cable connecting En -
rope and Brazil with the West India Is-
lands is owned 'hiit,ii1e tf• (tett briiaiti.
.
C: tc, .S . GI llI.EY,
•
tj1L(i 1'tfil ety.; aili(I I1''tr.z nitnre,
r QUL1) S- 1-'1"0
Shore .vh t:ittnd
purchtts ::k
to 4. so luau,
the hl.tuufactu,..i The
le L
dealer who buys tt
i,•1,
again luust tot:a,sarilt
have a profit. We #thetee
to girethe onteehasi,rs the
benefit. which on tail
to meet the view,. of the
Grangers. Our aanouses t..
are less titantbosc of oleo
InanUlaeturericonseg••<.nt t
sveunu seltahoaner k+ , , -
•
%1aMilli ctu e9 44 I
LD�
y call one..;i! tentic I
ooul•Ian dortra� ag-delo,rt
ulent,which is more vain;
plat ethe nover,as rte have
.t ed v now
designs
az Inc cies'
iia a Ins
of ]gte The host cofRlua
caskets shrcuds,and every
'ulueral requisite at theJ
ton est prict a Our new
Hearse is Prouounaed by
oompetenI Judge: to be
second to nary en the
aro vine Hs
Emblems
e•.
l.:
of all the Different
Soc eties, I
"31TR, .&!-siirari-
URJIERAKER RR
Funerals ,urtaisleeal
oouelucteti at the very lot:
est rates•
ktv'Stoek of ten ltn'ta:.itr;
geodsis tango, 'complete
and the cissorre•1, and any
perion':eQuiring an$thite:.
iu this line will fln.lit to
theirRt1' ei:t3p,et-• ^,it'o hie
call and ex.:mine fa.
themselves,.
CABINET-MAKER.
I have just rens Ted, et
arge stock Walnut and 1
Rosewood Caskets; also
Pardus of every descrip-
tion. A eamplete stock
of Robes and Trimmings
alwny on hand.
rhe latest styles of
Chamber and Psrto - suits
All kinds of Furniture et
tie lowestratea.
'I; Atli ittis'i` tett::LlltSi; 111 TUE I?B l\'t '
Remember the pl:l'C N,'tie t� >i 1...,sitt, Krinp'aTobacr4 Store, :Main•street, Exeter,
7O13T ,AWN
Exeter Post Office Time Table.
HAILS
Strktou,li oodilato, Win helsea and Etitaville
Souttl,east anti %TR:,luclnding Loudon. IT and Rau,
uba,Vatted States. English And foreign *units ...
South, eastantl west ...
North end ea,,t•iuelu,lieeoederiels, lt'ikaghaut. E:ne
aireteoui,•Carolito, \toutrcal,atot (•astern States.
1 Artallit; oLose.
... 8.15 arm a5G0 pm
Toronto Montreal, Manit
.2.30 e.. n1. 0.00 a. to
•
«•(G MM �.2U.ii d0It. t3 )
aatlineand all potntsuostlt,i 1
•... ... IC.00a.tu i$.$G a. nt
i
bTertlt
.ao p.tu.S,M1 p. ut
tree O.top•tn. thee p.m.
1t0 ET (minus
a
famed and meld on a n.l from any 1f ausvurdcr011lce in the Dominion of tea oeula,,Qi-entlfsitaiuraud q'
Gelated,nrItishIndia,Newfouudlautl./ermau.'.Anstria. Ita1}',Snstrtaliaand the United. States.' t
P0tTO1'tISE SA VINGSDANH.
lieposits oil! be received at this Wilco teeth :+1 to epee. Depositors obtaining tiro Fosttuaater- i HAMILTON, CANADA..
DA..
tteral"t special , •
Gee1, rmbe,.
SEN Ll
E ASID
t . •^'• k: mos as the successful
r.:.. rof Lw
• r. 1.1%,681 Eliterprise3
<�rtit
vr.tt while e a r^teary Fe= t-en1
..a, SJ''. ai• :odt'ayti
,tsc..t. uaa t„:::t-
thlt t ` ,,.:tee
. • t. .1 hi..
�Y t
tr tits
$thee the'i :gr. L1il,4::P Los recommended
Ali•.x's t aitS.tP4RI1.14 its matey sauitar
case:,, and l,e itns never yet heard of its fail-
ure to effect a tad1cal one.
Swale yr ac.: sgo one of air. I s:Lax:es farm
'laborers bruise his leg. Owing to the bad
state et his blood, an ugly scrofulous swelling
or lump appeared en the injured limb. Icor-
riLle it -ring of the skein, wttb bnrect'g and
dotting pains through the lump, lunate life
almost intolerable. The leg became -ener-
ntensit• es'nrge'at and running ulcers termed,.
disci's ging great quantities of e.trnntely,
offensive matter. 10 treatment 1(118 of any
avail ul.t;l the man, Ur fir. I. t.Axit's'thee-
ttou, was BUT/lata Lri:h AVt.a'S SAttikrA-
Ott fres
v. hid: ayta .'-1 the pain and irritation,
beilcd the sorra, moneyed the aaclthkg, affil
stun getely rester ret the Meta to use.
1r. Lnns.iw has personally used
Ayer's Sarsaparilla
for It's 'umntl at, w'ttt en: '•t ; alltt,
aft r t r..e.t , .:.:a, c
1;:a1 : t
e;: 114I la, t .. t. .. ..re,
Gent, 5.I 4.: 0' , . . .1
Iiheu I,, 1 •,,c':, . ... ,..1 the
various f..r,n,. of t. - .* "
We Lave c L:.t...,...:; .. :
silts„t., , e:..:.v° ....,rr• ata. :ci
t0 thtt C.::...:...... j etc- xe hot a;') et
AVE:: a S.t;:sti'.titit.I..t to :.,t.0 1.411 1 `,
at17 tiiils r at Lis lusuouota Cavan 1.i tel,
LenP l::ass:e,orat thei,e:attlpr a:,.a.1 l , to',
n l: =tit Strects,::ew York.
Mr. L t. iii:. s extensive kno1icdge 01 the
goad dear t } t`.ls unequalled er4ttteatarer
blood t"'ions enables idea teGise lnptitrexs
much wiet,tbie iuf;erutatlou,
loft 'A'8'f n fl
Dr. J.C.Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass.
gold by alt Dru;,gtsts; r°1, si:c bottles for 45.
WI.$LEYAN
LADIES' COLLEGE,
touan 000. cdeposit 51Deposittou Satlflank account reeeivedfronr, The oldest the largest Ladies' Coilege
9.nt.toIY1,lags theDonuutou, Rah overitt(iemanates. }eon'
Office hours f.ons i.3n'1t.tn. to7 p.m. r ty 5gentleman and1S ladies. The building
, cost $110,002, and has over 150 rooms. Music
LetWMintlntilmtfore,egistrat neemcd Iso posted la minutesbetore the closing of each man. her;?rbi iren the PiiacfpKj lkeu,au sey)tew•
N 1:= It is p:lrlirnl:l) r re ine.ted that Ilio'nu:lers of matter will kindly add the names of tit A..I►L'Itlg1;, I1, D.,1;I,
Comities to the midi egeee,
P:JOHNS, Postmaster.
ITCHING PILES $Y II"j'o:'4 ,' AND Cr tiF,
The t•yull•tonl., are ie ittar,', 111:e. perspir-
ation, intense i" .Mini. increase,' by t^atelitug;
very dietu.ssin j nttrular at night; wenn at
rf piel-t\ll)in Were elaw1tn;{ to and about the
reetILU, the privates parts aro sometimes af-
fected. If allowed to e+,ntinnn vary serions re -
stets tnay fol'oty. ..SW .1 N l '$1)IXT,1th.N•lr"
is a pleasant, sure sure. Also for '.Getter,
Iell, balk-Ithentu, Se.tid Head. I:ty'sipelas,
Ilarbers' Itch, Iilntches, all scaly -crust Skin
Diseases, Boy by nail, ail Cts.; 3 for $1,25.
A,ta wrie, DR. SWAYNI: tt: SON, Phila., Pa. •
Sold by Druggists.
AI)VIC 1: TO MOTHERS.
Aro von tlistU lima at night **unbroken of your
rest by usickrllild suffering awl crying with
pain of gutting teeth 1 If so, send at once and
got a bottle of tint:; WINSLOW'S SthOTIIING
sYitUr• Itavatll'" i- iueaaculable. it will re-
lieve the poor little sufferer luunediately. De-
pend upon it:nether•I, there is no misti Ito about
it. It cures dysentery 41,1.ita 1 rh nen, regulates
the stomach uh,1 ben, -Is. votes wii,d ,•otic
softens tie ;,uwea, reeiu,•c•; inflanml:atiott, and
gives tone anienergy to the whole system.
.&fns. WIN4LP.w'» SuoTILi No S7ILL'P ria t'IiILD.
nnx TNIimnl'to it; pleasant to the tare, and is
the prescription of ruse of the oldest aud best
female noises and pity"iehtns in tlto T'nited
States. and 1- ior..41t,by nil,tru„sists through-
out the world. Price 25 •eu1v r bottle.
twerse:toammilpet.r4-4crsersf,grre.rfavirimeoicrot i
ARMTIC and OIL
LINIMENT
CURES ALL
Paris and c e '
AND IS THE MOST PERFECT
FAMILY MNICINE in the'WQILD
SOLD BY ALL DEALERS.
PRICE, 25 AND 53 CeNTS P=R C TT:.C.
•
�- i4:
•4111 a)
04- .1 - •• •11..1411. 111;1 ,
11, ; :1 1 4,4T.1., 1 .k:.
'�., , ' 1„k i... , • . y' a,'.' 0
1111^,e�1.,. )j
g Ig' • • •
SULPHUR
IRON
'BITTERS,
Health & Happiness for all.
WILL CURE OR RELIEVE
Biliousness, Headache, Dys-
pepsia, indigestion, Dizziness,
jaundice, Dropsy, Fluttering
or the Heart,
Ane every specks of di,tase arising from
Impure Blood, &c..&c.
tern'.',RIO 111' Tint
Climax Chen cal Company,
MOI'ITRE!.L.
33.E NSALL
PORK PACKINGHOUSE
lltpiii
t`�tt�1!i'l�l
eee.. I •r..
Having commenced busiliesttor tlae
Fall and Winter Trade
We itreprepatea topnrollaseanYquantity of
Pork ;subject to the followii gr•egulations
We will takeoff two ponudsper hundred if
dry, and throe pound soft. Shoulder tacit
twenty-five gents. If any of tliel nay guts
are left iz,25 rqutsextrawill be deducted.'
No proK will be bought at any price
it warm.
We *ant all ktogs..Uiittin gright .tl'il)tt;;h
breast to.IleG A, and Hams opened out to tail
G.& J. PETTY-`
PRE1.7,111AN'S
WORM POWDERS.
Aro pleasant to take Contain their own
Purgative. Is n safe, surd, and effectual
chew er of worms in Children orddult&
TO FARMERS I
GREAT REDUCTION IN PRICES.
NOAH FRIED,
--OP THE
Dashwood Flouring Mill
Wishes to return thanks to his numerous
customers, for the past liberal patronage'
given him, and sines making im-
provements, which is a large
sat 'mg on feel, will do
--CII.3OP.PING—
tlnt.il furthbr notice, at the following
--rates :— -
OATS, SIX CENTS PER BAG,
And for all' other grains (Peas excepted),
SEVEN. CENTS PER L.AG.
TUESDAY, THURSDAY CO ' SA -T URDA Y,
etre my eguiar grinding days
TERMS - Strictly Cash.
I1. T3 i'lptu d: I+eed'sald at a close 'mar-
gin. Don't forget to give usa Call
Dashwood, Feb'y 70, '84