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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1884-7-17, Page 6Cures Dir tness, Loss of Appetite, Indigestion, Biliousness, .Dyspepsia, Jaundice, ,Affectionsof the Liver and .tt'zdaeys, Firples, Rlotcftca, .Roils, ,humors, Salt Rheum, Scrofula, Rryszpelas, and all diseases arising from Impure Blood, Peranged Stomach, or irregular action of the Rowels. 1 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION&. Ata Repent Meeting of the Lime Kiln Club. About forty of the eldest members 2 tegathered in the supper -room to have $ DETROIT FREE PRESS RUMOR. IT ENDS THAT WAY. "Thirty dollars—fifteen dollars for a prince bonneki" nu sled Jones as he• ool end from Ole bill lb bis wife„ "Mrs. .Tones, it's an outrage -.a gross impost- ion." ittle talk among; tlieniselves. The re. Rult was as follttly>: Giv eadam Jones resolved not to bairn it house taor rob a postafl'iae during the year 1884. Waydown Bebee resolved not to com- mit murder during the new year unless the provocation was 100 per cent. greater than during the old, Pickles South agreed. to stop swear - In and chewing plug tobacco. Nelson Slabs resolved to begin a bank book and sago at least $20,000 during the year. Trustee Pullback. had tr. et1 scheming for several year;; to get to the Levis, - Lure. He would now pledge his sol elm. word to quit that biieiness and pay more attention to white -washing Whalebone Ilowkcr had been in the habit of turning three or four asylums weekly. If otherswere willing to sac- rifice he would not bring up the rear. Jud a Cadaver had intended to way- lay an kill at least half a dozen Alder- men during the year 1884, but if the rest of the club were going to live on taffy he would follow suit. Samuel Shin thought he could leave off swearing. drinking, smoking, chew- ing. gambling, stealing and wife -beating. It ..night take him a few woke to get accustomed to the new situation. but he would do his best, Prof, S:yhack. had cheated and lied. and deceived ;di his life. Ho didn'tttevl any particular reason for change just now, but if others were willing to fore- go pleiestu.es and comforts be would' not be mean enoughto hang b that Rev. Penotock was so truly good he didn't pee how he was to be any bat, ter. 84 was about to pit down when Bill atteution was called to the fact thee he Was never known to return a bor- rowed spade or shovel. He agreed to be more careful in that respect in the future, and dropped hack with at align that was heard thirty•five feet away . Judge Condo had intended to blow up the City bail, burn two ferry boats andstart a panto In a theatre, but if the crown waa on the road to goody. poi be would not stand in the way. He always wens with the majority, no lailatter what 9eif-sacritiee Wail re. ud. 4ire Burdock Cautelope had firmly re- solved that the next time his wife pitched him against !shot stove because be couldn't afford her a fur -lined cir- cular he would rise up and kis. his eleven children od-bye and leave the house forever. kle had beard the re- solves of the various members, and bad concluded to put up with his troubles for another year. Prof. Babylon Highbolt hadmadc all preparations to lick two certain bar' begs, run away from his mother-in-law and sue two neighbors for throwing bottles at his back door. H. woul agree right hero to drop all his plans and continuo a life of misery. --Detroit Fray Press. "Yes, but that's tho price." "I'd better have married a milliner instead of a society lady." "Yes. that's what all my friends seeut to think!" she douturely replied. Ile got red itt the face and growled and loci, ed the foot stool across the were, but by and lay looked up and said: "And by the way, darling, 'you'd bet- ter get one of those t1O hats, whieh be- come you so, too. I Rept you to look. pretty, no matter what the cost." Hit Te)411c St3AZ. "Do you keep coffee here?" he asked as he entered a Woodward avenue grocery. ""Yes sm.• "Do you roast it your'elf?" "We do." "Is the adulterating all done an your premises?" "It is. We have a clean, airy adulter anon room, free from ash -heaps, old hats, broken bottles and oyster cans, and the haft who nixes in the beans, peas, ground cocoanut shell and parch- ed corn, use* nothiu but the best hair oil and toilet veep. now much will you bavo?" "Two pounds." was lite bland reply, MA he walked off' apparently well Ismsomossooss. NARIS GREEN, GREEN DOMIN JON L41EORAT() R Y EXETER, J. "G .3 OW1NTZNC, Prop. health, is 'W'ealWk. Dai.E C.WE,T'a NERVE AIM nags Tamer - new; a guaranteed spoeHle for RTeteria. Dia - aloes*, Convulsions, Fitz, 1Zarreus l stlrealsia, IIeadaebe,IQerynu.Prostrattoncauio4 the use at aldehol or uabaoeo, \akettliaoas.bM.atel Poprosslou.Softeningofthebraiaradtidltina( in I saaitx And 1eadf10 misery, kasay sea oath, ;ma are 01 so. Barreuaesa, - of Powerin oithoi sem,Involuntary Lossosau4 KC MOW. "How's trader he asked of a dealer on httchigan avenue. "Radler dull just now!" WAS the re- PIY. Do you want apncthing for a draw d. "" mg'tgi?into wring dull tiwetaF I might it." "Give me fifty cents end IT give yoq the „greatest draw on the books. ' "ill go twenty-five." The money was handed over, and the grocer was presented with a ten -cent corkscrew. DOUBT/VI.. A asiiaeors•griader was ringing his bell. "to grind." on Brash street, when ar, young man called to him and asked: "Say, can you sharpen eversththgl" "Tea, saferryyttings." "Can you shatieea my wits?" "Your nits! Vilely, I ghees you bit to go and get a new handle uad back - ring put in first! I must haf *ome- ns to hang on pr1" + • ► • A Satisfyini£ Dinner for &Tangent& I found on Mulbery street the well- known cheap Chinese restaurant, kept by the solemn, jovial Oriental whose name is Fun Mone. "Chinese dinner, fi cents." was the sign outside. "I'll eat if it kills me," thought I; and I went in. "One dinner," Isaid. "Yip ' --ails light," F. M. answered. I sur. reptitionsly smolt of the butter. It seemed ggood. I tasted it. It was good. lie brought a generous plate of roast beef, hot and reeking. "Good enough," I thought; and tackled it. age brought on a dish of beans—000d beans. a brought coffee—prime kava. He brought broiled. potatoes "Beau- tiful" I thought. I slyly whistled is my napkin. I dispatched them. He brought me a small piece of pie and cheese—I hadn't expected that, really. I immediately entertained them. "S -e -v -e -n cents," I kept saying to myself. "Why need people go Ilna gry�e, "How watcher I asked, gracefully falling into the Chinese language. "Forty-eight cents." "Forty eight cents! Great Scott! You said 7 cents." That'lc for Chinaman. No goodee Mellen' hungly. No muchee for 7 cents."—New York Letter in the Detroit Post and 2b i&une. . s. Words or Music? The music makes the sone.. The -t ,.t.t" monitmen; go up kr sue mats who writes the music. The words will take care of themselves. The words of Verdi's operas are trash; the music is immortal.—New Orleans Picayune. The music only makes one-half the song. If it were otherwise the warbling of a canary would fill the heart as full as "Home, Sweet Home." There must be ideas as well as harmonies. When there are both it is a marriage such as • Tennyson describes, of Perfect music unto noble words. —Philadelphia Record. BIUK DIDN'T GIVE, "Madam," be began as he lifted his bat at the front door, "I am solieitin' for home cbnl;ities. Wo bare hundred of poor, raggeed and vicious children like those at your gate, and our object "Sir! those are my own children!" she interrupted, and the way that front door slammed his toes jarred every hair on bis scalp -lock. Brows Iuthe Sunshine, Golden is the Shade, Red. Bair is coming into fashion in England. In other words the demand for more color in dress is now supple- mented by a fashion of a good deal of color in tit tresses of beautiful women. Poets sentimentalize over the auburn locks of fair maidens. but physiologists are cruel enough to point out the fact that the mastetvliia ed races have dark hair, and that red and auburn tresses are a sign of descent from savage ancestry. Cold weather and exposure results in a bleaching oft file complexion and the hair; but when Igen andwomen are well elad and well warmed, the secretions of the body are so affected as to darken. the flair and beard. When the time ar- rives, should it ever come, for mankind to live ander cover, and never be ex- posed to the rude blasts of winter, then will dark hair be universal. In English society it is said that red haired girls are asserting themselves, and are no longer content with the blue garments and adornments which have been their heritage for so many generations. They now affect warm golden browns, orange - tinted yellows, ruddy cream colors, ter- ra-cotta, and tate whole range of such tints as are found in primroses, butter- nuts, chestnut -browns and dull gold, color. One charming red-haired woman in English society wears a gold hand on her hair, and dresses in gold -colored velvet. So costumed, or in a dress of! chocolate, relieved with amber, or of a tawny red and gold, she is a striking picture on the trottoire.—Dcznorest's Montnly for March. mato did not begin to learn the Greek language until he was 84 years of age. The excuse for his beginning on it then was that he had entered his second childhood. In spite of all the talks and jokes only one patron in twenty-two beats his tail- or, while no tailor gets a good fit on more than two men 1r. five. It's about an even thing. It takes a giraffe about twenty days to recover from the sea sickness of an ocean voyage. That is, ten to get the feeling all the way down, and ten more to brine it all UD. "Dear me," said a good lady on Fifth avenue, the other evening, "how thin craze for china is growing! Here's'a New York club that is paying $3,00C inr, a r"itrher."—,Pitt3oi.,v 1m/fa/X. Solid Milk To make condensed milk, the milk is subjected to a heat of some 230 degrees, which, it is said, scalds it. By a new process the heat is only about 130 de- grees, and the product is called evapor- ated milk. When the time of exposure to that moderato heat is sufficiently prolonged all the watery part of the milk is driven off and the remnant is a tough, solid mass, creamy white in color, and much resembling a dried chunk of white flour dough. That is granulated by artificial means; a little fine white sugar is added to make it keep, and then it looks like corn meal, and- is caIled,, granulated milk. The evaporated milk is only about half as near solid as the condensed milk, but it is very rich and so little affected by the process through which it has passed that when water is added the most deli- cate taste cannot deflect the difference between it and pure natural milk; cream rises on it and butter can be made from it. The granulated is made to keep in all climates for any desired length of time. . I. A Frenchman claims that he has in- vented nvented a system by which he can cause three and two to make six. This inven- tion is not original with him, however. It was first discovered by the American (government while negotiating with the Ind len.. Spoymatorrlu ca.causedby oeer.exurtiork otIbe brain, eelt•ebuse and ovor itululsanes. One acb and mncnt# i trooaatrneut �.9a donor �a box, or sixboxeetor Ave "lollara; sant byntailprspai4 onioceipsotprice. We asmatesaixboxesto cure dry pate. With cad; older reeet904 for SIX boons, aceompnuio4 with Are dollars, wy ivillsend the purchaser our written guarantes to refund the;noneyt! tits treatrncnt does not, offset ease. nuarauteealt�sao, Duly by J.W. IiiiOW:NI.NO. Bole ARen1for Esddter,Onteria GEN TRAL DRUGSTORE A full stock of all kinds of Dye -stuffs alley=package Dyes, constantly on hand. Winan's Condition Powd- ers the best in the mark- et and always fresh. $uI dOth BLOOD BITTERS BISSETT BROS. HEADQUARTERS Hardware, Spades, Hoes, Forks, Scythes, Barb wire and steel strip fencings, itSpolgol Unto tot *luny imps CHEAP 8'Z' BISSETT BROS. U1MtE ASD 1tkRD GENERAL DEALERS Family rocip- es carefullySTA.,PZ�i — prepared at the Central Drug Store Exeter C. V Z. SCROFULA and all scrofulous diseases, Sores, Erysipelas, Eczema,Blotches, Ringworm, Tumors, Car. bundles, Boils, and Eruptions of the Skin, are the direct result of an impure state o? the blood. ' To cure these diseases the blood must be puri- fied, and restored to a healthyand natural condi- tion. AYER'S SARSAPARILtJ. has for over forty years been recognized by eminent medical au- thorities as the most powerful blood purifier in existence. It frees the system from all foul hu- mors, enriches and strengthens the blood, removes all traces of mercurial treatment, and proves it- flO f a complete master of all scrofulous diseases. A Recent Cure of Scrofulous Sores. "Some months ago I was troubled with scrofu- lous sores (ulcers) on my legs. Tho limbs were badly swollen and inflamed; and the -sores dis- charged large quantities of offensive matter. Every remedy I tried failed, until I used AYEn's Sai sAPARILLA, O1 which I have note taken three bottles, with the result that the sores are healed and my general health greatly improved. I feel very grateful for the good your medicine has done me. Yours respectfully, Mats. AILS O'nn1As: . 148 Sullivan St.,New York, June 24, 1882. a[" All persons interested are invited to tall on Itiro. O'Brian; also upon the Rev. Z. P. Wilds of 78 Rest 54th Street, New York City, who will take pleasure in testifying to tho wonderful efficacy of Ayer's Sarsaparil- la, not only in the cure of this lady, but in has own case and many others within his knowledge. The well-known writer on the Boston Herald, B. W. BALL,, of Rochester, A:IL,writes, June 7, 1882: " Having suffered severely for some years with Eczema, and having failed to find relief from other remedies, I have made use, during the past three months, of AYER'S SARSAPARILLA, which hpa' effected a complete cure. I consider it a magnifi- cent remedy for all blood diseases." Ayer's Sarsaparilla stimulates and regulates the action of the di- gestive and assimilative organs, renews and strengthens the vital forces, and speedily cures Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Rheumatic Gout, Catarrh,- General Debility, and all diseases arising from an impoverished or corrupted condi- tion of the blood, and a weakenedvitality. Jt is incomparably the cheapest blood medicine, on account of its concentrated strength, mud great power over disease. PREPARED DY Dr. J. C. Ayer it Co., .Lowell, Mass. fold by all Druggists; price 81; six bottles for 38. - =FANCY DRY - GOODS =--MASDE- - CLCYTH2NC+ Hats, Caps, Boots & Shoes GENTS' FURNISHINGS, 1111011 IN MUTES 0$1002=$0 OC:) Salto =ASS \ ASI* GARDEN and FIELD SEEDS, ETC., ETC., Full Lines in all Dep rtments. Do not fail to examine our stock before purchasing else- where, as you will find prices correct and Goods fiirst class.. Inspection Invited. SAMWELL & PICKARD.