HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1884-7-17, Page 6Cures Dir tness, Loss of Appetite, Indigestion, Biliousness,
.Dyspepsia, Jaundice, ,Affectionsof the Liver and .tt'zdaeys,
Firples, Rlotcftca, .Roils, ,humors, Salt Rheum, Scrofula,
Rryszpelas, and all diseases arising from Impure Blood,
Peranged Stomach, or irregular action of the Rowels. 1
NEW YEAR RESOLUTION&.
Ata Repent Meeting of the Lime
Kiln Club.
About forty of the eldest members 2
tegathered in the supper -room to have $
DETROIT FREE PRESS RUMOR.
IT ENDS THAT WAY.
"Thirty dollars—fifteen dollars for a
prince bonneki" nu sled Jones as he•
ool end from Ole bill lb bis wife„ "Mrs.
.Tones, it's an outrage -.a gross impost-
ion."
ittle talk among; tlieniselves. The re.
Rult was as follttly>:
Giv eadam Jones resolved not to bairn
it house taor rob a postafl'iae during the
year 1884.
Waydown Bebee resolved not to com-
mit murder during the new year unless
the provocation was 100 per cent.
greater than during the old,
Pickles South agreed. to stop swear -
In and chewing plug tobacco.
Nelson Slabs resolved to begin a
bank book and sago at least $20,000
during the year.
Trustee Pullback. had tr. et1 scheming
for several year;; to get to the Levis, -
Lure. He would now pledge his sol
elm. word to quit that biieiness and pay
more attention to white -washing
Whalebone Ilowkcr had been in the
habit of turning three or four asylums
weekly. If otherswere willing to sac-
rifice he would not bring up the rear.
Jud a Cadaver had intended to way-
lay an kill at least half a dozen Alder-
men during the year 1884, but if the
rest of the club were going to live on
taffy he would follow suit.
Samuel Shin thought he could leave
off swearing. drinking, smoking, chew-
ing. gambling, stealing and
wife -beating. It ..night take him a few
woke to get accustomed to the new
situation. but he would do his best,
Prof, S:yhack. had cheated and lied.
and deceived ;di his life. Ho didn'tttevl
any particular reason for change just
now, but if others were willing to fore-
go pleiestu.es and comforts be would'
not be mean enoughto hang b that
Rev. Penotock was so truly good
he didn't pee how he was to be any bat,
ter. 84 was about to pit down when
Bill atteution was called to the fact thee
he Was never known to return a bor-
rowed spade or shovel. He agreed to
be more careful in that respect in the
future, and dropped hack with at align
that was heard thirty•five feet away .
Judge Condo had intended to blow
up the City bail, burn two ferry boats
andstart a panto In a theatre, but if
the crown waa on the road to goody.
poi be would not stand in the way.
He always wens with the majority, no
lailatter what 9eif-sacritiee Wail re.
ud.
4ire
Burdock Cautelope had firmly re-
solved that the next time his wife
pitched him against !shot stove because
be couldn't afford her a fur -lined cir-
cular he would rise up and kis. his
eleven children od-bye and leave the
house forever. kle had beard the re-
solves of the various members, and bad
concluded to put up with his troubles
for another year.
Prof. Babylon Highbolt hadmadc all
preparations to lick two certain bar'
begs, run away from his mother-in-law
and sue two neighbors for throwing
bottles at his back door. H. woul
agree right hero to drop all his plans
and continuo a life of misery. --Detroit
Fray Press.
"Yes, but that's tho price."
"I'd better have married a milliner
instead of a society lady."
"Yes. that's what all my friends seeut
to think!" she douturely replied.
Ile got red itt the face and growled
and loci, ed the foot stool across the
were, but by and lay looked up and said:
"And by the way, darling, 'you'd bet-
ter get one of those t1O hats, whieh be-
come you so, too. I Rept you to look.
pretty, no matter what the cost."
Hit Te)411c St3AZ.
"Do you keep coffee here?" he asked
as he entered a Woodward avenue
grocery.
""Yes sm.•
"Do you roast it your'elf?"
"We do."
"Is the adulterating all done an your
premises?"
"It is. We have a clean, airy adulter
anon room, free from ash -heaps, old
hats, broken bottles and oyster cans,
and the haft who nixes in the beans,
peas, ground cocoanut shell and parch-
ed corn, use* nothiu but the best hair
oil and toilet veep. now much will you
bavo?"
"Two pounds." was lite bland reply,
MA he walked off' apparently well
Ismsomossooss.
NARIS GREEN,
GREEN
DOMIN JON L41EORAT() R Y
EXETER,
J. "G .3 OW1NTZNC, Prop.
health, is 'W'ealWk.
Dai.E C.WE,T'a NERVE AIM nags Tamer -
new; a guaranteed spoeHle for RTeteria. Dia -
aloes*, Convulsions, Fitz, 1Zarreus l stlrealsia,
IIeadaebe,IQerynu.Prostrattoncauio4 the
use at aldehol or uabaoeo, \akettliaoas.bM.atel
Poprosslou.Softeningofthebraiaradtidltina( in
I saaitx And 1eadf10 misery, kasay sea
oath, ;ma are 01 so. Barreuaesa, -
of Powerin oithoi sem,Involuntary Lossosau4
KC MOW.
"How's trader he asked of a dealer
on httchigan avenue.
"Radler dull just now!" WAS the re-
PIY. Do you want apncthing for a draw
d.
"" mg'tgi?into
wring dull tiwetaF
I might it."
"Give me fifty cents end IT give yoq
the „greatest draw on the books. '
"ill go twenty-five."
The money was handed over, and the
grocer was presented with a ten -cent
corkscrew.
DOUBT/VI..
A asiiaeors•griader was ringing his bell.
"to grind." on Brash street, when ar,
young man called to him and asked:
"Say, can you sharpen eversththgl"
"Tea, saferryyttings."
"Can you shatieea my wits?"
"Your nits! Vilely, I ghees you bit
to go and get a new handle uad back -
ring put in first! I must haf *ome-
ns to hang on pr1"
+ • ►
•
A Satisfyini£ Dinner for &Tangent&
I found on Mulbery street the well-
known cheap Chinese restaurant, kept
by the solemn, jovial Oriental whose
name is Fun Mone. "Chinese dinner,
fi cents." was the sign outside. "I'll
eat if it kills me," thought I; and I
went in. "One dinner," Isaid. "Yip '
--ails light," F. M. answered. I sur.
reptitionsly smolt of the butter. It
seemed ggood. I tasted it. It was
good. lie brought a generous plate of
roast beef, hot and reeking. "Good
enough," I thought; and tackled it.
age brought on a dish of beans—000d
beans. a brought coffee—prime kava.
He brought broiled. potatoes "Beau-
tiful" I thought. I slyly whistled is
my napkin. I dispatched them. He
brought me a small piece of pie and
cheese—I hadn't expected that, really.
I immediately entertained them.
"S -e -v -e -n cents," I kept saying to
myself. "Why need people go Ilna
gry�e,
"How watcher I asked, gracefully
falling into the Chinese language.
"Forty-eight cents."
"Forty eight cents! Great Scott! You
said 7 cents."
That'lc for Chinaman. No goodee
Mellen' hungly. No muchee for 7
cents."—New York Letter in the Detroit
Post and 2b i&une.
. s.
Words or Music?
The music makes the sone.. The
-t ,.t.t"
monitmen; go up kr sue mats
who writes the music. The words will
take care of themselves. The words of
Verdi's operas are trash; the music is
immortal.—New Orleans Picayune.
The music only makes one-half the
song. If it were otherwise the warbling
of a canary would fill the heart as full
as "Home, Sweet Home." There must
be ideas as well as harmonies. When
there are both it is a marriage such as
•
Tennyson describes, of
Perfect music unto noble words.
—Philadelphia Record.
BIUK DIDN'T GIVE,
"Madam," be began as he lifted his
bat at the front door, "I am solieitin'
for home cbnl;ities. Wo bare hundred
of poor, raggeed and vicious children
like those at your gate, and our object
"Sir! those are my own children!"
she interrupted, and the way that front
door slammed his toes jarred every hair
on bis scalp -lock.
Brows Iuthe Sunshine, Golden is the Shade,
Red. Bair is coming into fashion in
England. In other words the demand
for more color in dress is now supple-
mented by a fashion of a good deal of
color in tit tresses of beautiful women.
Poets sentimentalize over the auburn
locks of fair maidens. but physiologists
are cruel enough to point out the fact
that the mastetvliia ed races have dark
hair, and that red and auburn tresses are
a sign of descent from savage ancestry.
Cold weather and exposure results in a
bleaching oft file complexion and the
hair; but when Igen andwomen are well
elad and well warmed, the secretions of
the body are so affected as to darken.
the flair and beard. When the time ar-
rives, should it ever come, for mankind
to live ander cover, and never be ex-
posed to the rude blasts of winter, then
will dark hair be universal. In English
society it is said that red haired girls
are asserting themselves, and are no
longer content with the blue garments
and adornments which have been their
heritage for so many generations. They
now affect warm golden browns, orange -
tinted yellows, ruddy cream colors, ter-
ra-cotta, and tate whole range of such
tints as are found in primroses, butter-
nuts, chestnut -browns and dull gold,
color. One charming red-haired woman
in English society wears a gold hand on
her hair, and dresses in gold -colored
velvet. So costumed, or in a dress of!
chocolate, relieved with amber, or of a
tawny red and gold, she is a striking
picture on the trottoire.—Dcznorest's
Montnly for March.
mato did not begin to learn the Greek
language until he was 84 years of age.
The excuse for his beginning on it then
was that he had entered his second
childhood.
In spite of all the talks and jokes only
one patron in twenty-two beats his tail-
or, while no tailor gets a good fit on
more than two men 1r. five. It's about
an even thing.
It takes a giraffe about twenty days
to recover from the sea sickness of an
ocean voyage. That is, ten to get the
feeling all the way down, and ten more
to brine it all UD.
"Dear me," said a good lady on Fifth
avenue, the other evening, "how thin
craze for china is growing! Here's'a
New York club that is paying $3,00C
inr, a r"itrher."—,Pitt3oi.,v 1m/fa/X.
Solid Milk
To make condensed milk, the milk is
subjected to a heat of some 230 degrees,
which, it is said, scalds it. By a new
process the heat is only about 130 de-
grees, and the product is called evapor-
ated milk. When the time of exposure
to that moderato heat is sufficiently
prolonged all the watery part of the
milk is driven off and the remnant is a
tough, solid mass, creamy white in
color, and much resembling a dried
chunk of white flour dough. That is
granulated by artificial means; a little
fine white sugar is added to make it
keep, and then it looks like corn meal,
and- is caIled,, granulated milk. The
evaporated milk is only about half as
near solid as the condensed milk, but it
is very rich and so little affected by the
process through which it has passed
that when water is added the most deli-
cate taste cannot deflect the difference
between it and pure natural milk; cream
rises on it and butter can be made from
it. The granulated is made to keep in
all climates for any desired length of
time.
. I.
A Frenchman claims that he has in-
vented
nvented a system by which he can cause
three and two to make six. This inven-
tion is not original with him, however.
It was first discovered by the American
(government while negotiating with the
Ind len..
Spoymatorrlu ca.causedby oeer.exurtiork otIbe
brain, eelt•ebuse and ovor itululsanes. One
acb
and mncnt# i trooaatrneut �.9a donor �a box, or
sixboxeetor Ave "lollara; sant byntailprspai4
onioceipsotprice. We asmatesaixboxesto
cure dry pate. With cad; older reeet904 for
SIX boons, aceompnuio4 with Are dollars, wy
ivillsend the purchaser our written guarantes
to refund the;noneyt! tits treatrncnt does not,
offset ease. nuarauteealt�sao, Duly by J.W.
IiiiOW:NI.NO. Bole ARen1for Esddter,Onteria
GEN TRAL
DRUGSTORE
A full stock
of all kinds of
Dye -stuffs alley=package
Dyes, constantly on
hand. Winan's
Condition
Powd-
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the best
in the mark-
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$uI dOth
BLOOD
BITTERS
BISSETT BROS.
HEADQUARTERS
Hardware,
Spades,
Hoes,
Forks,
Scythes,
Barb wire and steel strip fencings,
itSpolgol Unto tot *luny imps
CHEAP 8'Z'
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U1MtE ASD 1tkRD
GENERAL DEALERS
Family rocip-
es carefullySTA.,PZ�i —
prepared at
the Central Drug Store Exeter
C. V Z.
SCROFULA
and all scrofulous diseases, Sores, Erysipelas,
Eczema,Blotches, Ringworm, Tumors, Car.
bundles, Boils, and Eruptions of the Skin,
are the direct result of an impure state o? the
blood. '
To cure these diseases the blood must be puri-
fied, and restored to a healthyand natural condi-
tion. AYER'S SARSAPARILtJ. has for over forty
years been recognized by eminent medical au-
thorities as the most powerful blood purifier in
existence. It frees the system from all foul hu-
mors, enriches and strengthens the blood, removes
all traces of mercurial treatment, and proves it-
flO f a complete master of all scrofulous diseases.
A Recent Cure of Scrofulous Sores.
"Some months ago I was troubled with scrofu-
lous sores (ulcers) on my legs. Tho limbs were
badly swollen and inflamed; and the -sores dis-
charged large quantities of offensive matter.
Every remedy I tried failed, until I used AYEn's
Sai sAPARILLA, O1 which I have note taken three
bottles, with the result that the sores are healed
and my general health greatly improved. I feel
very grateful for the good your medicine has done
me. Yours respectfully, Mats. AILS O'nn1As: .
148 Sullivan St.,New York, June 24, 1882.
a[" All persons interested are invited to
tall on Itiro. O'Brian; also upon the Rev. Z.
P. Wilds of 78 Rest 54th Street, New York
City, who will take pleasure in testifying to
tho wonderful efficacy of Ayer's Sarsaparil-
la, not only in the cure of this lady, but in
has own case and many others within his
knowledge.
The well-known writer on the Boston Herald, B.
W. BALL,, of Rochester, A:IL,writes, June 7, 1882:
" Having suffered severely for some years with
Eczema, and having failed to find relief from other
remedies, I have made use, during the past three
months, of AYER'S SARSAPARILLA, which hpa'
effected a complete cure. I consider it a magnifi-
cent remedy for all blood diseases."
Ayer's Sarsaparilla
stimulates and regulates the action of the di-
gestive and assimilative organs, renews and
strengthens the vital forces, and speedily cures
Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Rheumatic Gout,
Catarrh,- General Debility, and all diseases
arising from an impoverished or corrupted condi-
tion of the blood, and a weakenedvitality.
Jt is incomparably the cheapest blood medicine,
on account of its concentrated strength, mud great
power over disease.
PREPARED DY
Dr. J. C. Ayer it Co., .Lowell, Mass.
fold by all Druggists; price 81; six bottles for 38.
- =FANCY
DRY - GOODS
=--MASDE-
- CLCYTH2NC+
Hats, Caps, Boots & Shoes
GENTS' FURNISHINGS,
1111011 IN MUTES
0$1002=$0
OC:) Salto
=ASS \ ASI*
GARDEN and FIELD SEEDS,
ETC., ETC.,
Full Lines in all Dep rtments.
Do not fail to examine our stock before purchasing else-
where, as you will find prices correct and Goods fiirst class..
Inspection Invited.
SAMWELL & PICKARD.