HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1884-5-8, Page 6SPOOPENDYKE. Making Him $appy.
A dumpy, disconsolate -looking small
He is Aficted with. a Sore root, boy was leaning against the wall at the
corner of Woodward avenue and Con -
"My dear." whimpered Mr. Spoop.. gross street, when along eat= a tall,
eltdvke, bobbling into his wife's room raw-boned stranger with about four
and throwing himself into a chair with
a desolate expression of despair ou his
visage, "My bear, there is something
the matter with my foot. and 1 can't
drinks in pini, and said:.
"Thu -bobby. do you feel bad?"
"Hain't you got nom -motley for
wake out what the trouble i.." Citrissletnas?"
"1 know!" exal:i'saned Airs. Spoopen- "No."
dyke, hovering over hint with alTection- "ties' like fate!1'na traveling ou my
,
ata interest and solicitude. "1 think last fifteen cents et:tenting, and it'll be
rlteuruatlsm." all gone 'forenoon. Going to lehang up
"NTo, it ain't rketuuatiam. either!" your stocking?"
growled Mr. Spoopendyke. "It is ,'either 'iti I, I haven't got any -
and
worse than rheumatism,and if it goes to my heart it clay kill body to lore me an' put toys in ray
trier stocking. Say, do ,you want a fizzle toy
""Mayi,e it's a stone bruise," sums- mule in your stocking?"
ted Mrs Sete i•oudvke, not realizing "Yes."
that a great :teal ttif the sentiment and "So do T, but I won't get one. Tuff to
most of the diner are taken out of a I eor tuffestkin' a' tats Say, bear
malady when it i, deli titei ascertain- "What"
ed what the iti.tlady ie. "All you "There ain't no hog about me. I'm
want is some liniment anti \4,t will be the bizzest hearted titan in the world.
all right by es -morrow."
"Ticar s a!! ,you know about it,"
grunted Mr. Spot,perelyke, who was
not to be put et -with sa imtall a elisas-
terse a stone bruise. "I tell you, that
1 have gut sodae trtl tble withmy foot
s.at tlireater s my life, and you stand
ae+und there like a cork iu a bottle,
and talk about it as though I hadn't
hrot one leg into nit coffin as far as my
ip, here I am Welting at death's
loor with a game foot, and all the in -
."rest ;you have in the matter is to shoot
a vast uu ount of intelligence about
stone bruises. I tell You, it's some.
thing that :sin"t to lie trifled with, ' floral suiting.
Now, what are tuft going to do about Tho+ier;e.st vessels employed in the
"Are you sure it isn't a eons?" haz- cboutf f urteea the
anti employ ilotis a d z 1111
are of
anted 'Mrs, poonendyke, timidly. hands, Thty have to work night and
"'Sometimes corns hurt woreethan an - :day. the men relieving each othereveryelse; but I never heard of peop,e six hours, They fish front March to 0e-
t,ying of theta." tober, anal their food consists Wetly o
"" a, it isn't .t corn!" how led Mt macaroni and biscuits l aehb+oat. i akes
Spoopendyke. [curs in+; his foot and glare front giAl to 900 pounds, acetlydiug to its
,ng ttt hie wife w,a mingled cspres- size, The coral is usually found attache
sign of raga and pain. •vii' Ilat d'ye ell to reek, never in matt[, nor is muddy
think thi3 foot i.. anyway; au agricul- water. The coral rock is formed of
tural dietriet? When die' you ever hear different apeeies ut auadr..porc3. some,
of a corn that readied from the heel to times it is also found attached to shell,
the knee? lti blela of your friends ever and other marine objects. It spreads
had a corn that hurt clear to the earl"
and Mr. Spoopendyke touched his foot ' ing t hei ht of about[ ea foot and thick -
carefully to the Soar and, eyed his wife nes3 of :about au inch.
narrowly to see if she noticed the ex The [mode of fishing coral is very
pression of agony an his fare, primitive and aright let itnprt,ved with
"If it acts that way it utast he a bun-
iour exclaimed Airs. Spoopendyke baage, A green+,, boutf ft of fwo
eet
triumphantly. "All you have of to bars of wood or iron, - e:i fifteen fees
pgot is length, placed aero-� ranch either, is
do is take your boot oft and put your weighted inthe middle withatlarge stone.
slippers on. This frame is hung with tangles of hemp
hat's it," yelled Mr. Spoopea- and stet,, one of -which Is attached to
dyke, hauling of Ids shoo and bring it each of the four extremities of the cross
across the room. "Wilea a mea fa dy- bar frame. This is Bien let down by
Jrnof faflamenatory rheumatism, it's means of a this k rope onto the coral
only a bunion! You've gat it! A pain bed and is dragged backwards and for -
that starts at the toe, runs to the back wards till the coral branches are tangled
of the neck and ties la a hart, knot over in it. The rope is then attached to a
the spine is a bunion! Show me the windlass, and the frame is thus brought
bunion!" he continued, sticking his leg heavily to the surfrtee. Precious coral
out straight and pointing his finger at varies is color from a deep red to a pale
the offending foot. "Take this digit is ink. It is also aornetlttles marbled
your lily white hand and place it ten- Mack and white; and there is even black
derly on the dod Basted bunion before and white coral. Red coral was once the
I die and forget what killed mc! Pick most esteemed; now a delicate pink is
it out of the surrounding anatomy: he the most valued. The finest pink coral
yelled, wriggling his foot and bouncing is worth from $400 to $G00 per ounce,
np and down in his chair in a delirium whilst ordinary red coral may be hail fot
of rage. "Pluck the bunion from its 1310 per ounce.= -Busted Trern::eript.
mountain fastness on the hoof of Spoop-
endyke and hold it up to the gaze of - -
the same!" ., How to DevelopCourage.
"Does it hurt—? commenced Mre. >
9poopend ke, soothingly. When Coppinger, who lately married
".Iiurt!' roared Air. Spoopendyke, Mr. Blaine's daughter, was stationed at
springingess from his chair and dancing Camp Verde, Arizona, as the Ca�pptain of
around the room like a ilea. '4 one of the companies of the Twenty-
couawr, it don't. It tickles! Hurt! It's third Infantry. in 1872, the writer hap -
s picnic! Say, m5 dear," and his voice pened to be the witness of an incident
wee low and tender. ""Say, my dear, that illustrates the character and djspo-
A band of recruits
instead of going into the cotmtry thissition
summer we'll lay in a stock of bunions day, one dethe n filled with fear and
and wear 'em around for our health terror of the officer under whom they
and recreation! Hurt!" be shrieked, were to serve for the ensuing five years.
breaking out in a new spot."•Hurt • It Report and rumorhad pictured Coppin-
feels like a band of music! That's ger to them as being a pirate captain.
what it is, a bunion! It took you to and Persecutor of the rank and file.
hit it! When I get time to fit you up Coppinger, attired in a suit of clothes
with a full beard and a bottle of wins- that might have distinguished a teams-
icy I'm going to start a dispensary with teams-
ter,
entered. storeI would like
, you! If you'd only improve your mind,
untilyou reached the standard of intel- recruit reit this 1 Capt. Coppinger,' said and
recrtift. "I underataud he's a hard
ligence of a moderate donkey you'd man." Everybody present expected
only need a stolen corpse anti a bad Copping= to annihilate the new comer,
smellto be a first-class medical col- but he id not. Onthe contrary, he en-
ter/el" gaged him in a pleasant conversation,
""Say, dear,' observed Mrs. Spoop- m which Capt. Coppinger was abused
endyke, who had been carefully explor- in a manner that caused thelisteners to
ing her husband's boot; "Say, dear, I fear that the private would be punished
think L have out what the troub- for his temerity. Finally, when the vo-
le is. It isn't
t a bunion after all. Here's cabulary was exhausted, Coppinger in -
a peg sticking out hero about a quarter .produced himself to the astonished sol -
of an inch. you will have that taken dier. "'I hope you will think better of
out I don't believe you will suffer any what you have said," remarked the
more." Captain, as he turned to leave. "Well,
Mr. Spoopendyke jammed his hat see here," replied the recruit, "I sup..
over his eyes, shoved his feet into his pose this means guard house and ball
slippers, grabbed the obnoxious boot and chain for me, but if I . have to die
and started for the door with a wither- for it, I must insist that according to all
ing look at bis wife as he went out. reports, you are a d—d ant.Cop-
"I don't care," murmured' Mrs. purger looked the fellow" in the eye
Spoopendyke, as the front door slam minute. "I like your courage," he said,
med vindictively; "I don't care. If he when at length he broke the silence.
has it taken out, he has to admit that I
was right, and if he doesn't it will hurt
him till he. dies. I don't know which
will be the worse for him, but he will
haveto do one or the other." And with
this crowning triumph still in her mind
Mrs. Spoopendyke began to scare the
flies out of the room with a sheet, won-
dering why a fly who has been half
smashed against one window frame
will insist' on coming in at the other
window to be smashed over as'ain.
I'll make yon happy if I have to sleep
in the middle of the road. Here, take
that, and this, and this --yes, take it
along and be happy."
And he handed out a pint bottle half
full of gin, a plug: of tobacco and a
dillae songbook, and as the bewildered
boy stoort'holding them iu Ws hands the
donor continued:
"Thar all—thane all but aeueber-deck
and a pistol, and 1'I1 keep them to make
some other boy remember Chrissletuaa.
Run along, Rouny—run home and be 41
happy!"- —
�a�ae
SEEDS
SEED.S
SEE )S,,,;
THE EXET.
.... SEED STORE,
DQ =N ON r i1,e4TORT
Fresh Field, Flower and (ardeu, Seeds,
We call til.tp attention of Farmers and Gardeners to the above, and invite inspection:.
J. Prop,
i*kIOTOUi 4U:lRli1M . T1IE
They cause at ten a. u* .---ti&ee baby, his
grandmother. his p t a. and mamma, and two
anuric,. They wanted to hare his picture
Aker). 1 he obliging artist tut everything
u readiness, trought out the little velvet -lin-
ed high chair, in which babies are usually
photographed, and Mee, the trouble began.
The baby's rape wrath[ to take oft its
sattiane, becanso it bad sueh pretty fat ems,
but tts matume r:as again that it might take
cold. Theo one saint". • thought it would bo
so sweet to take off his tial., stostkingr; and sit
rim in a big arm.eitair, but I:i • ;piker auntie
thought that such a performance :e...uid tpe
very innee,lest, indeed, unit a cnutre::•ceaeli
imminent.
Finaliy it eels ugieed that they slleald take
the artist's advise and etrnp hint tip in the
high chair. Arte r inch ringing t f bolls the
bate} was hetuevd to ltlol; with favor on tfte
new state c.f affairs.
The rtrtr-t prepared to take tae negative,
but lust at the critical moment, the infant
doub!r.d hiwst if vert.. s the strap and =eream.
ed lustily. Ills papa jingled the belie anew,
tbe artist t the ruuste•boa going„ tbo
ntamina drew him ent of his chair. find Iiis
auntie called hiai a "pules utzy ittle tint;."
Peace bt°iva, rt ,tcrel, auo;Iu t Negative was
taken. this time rills tolerable success. But
one *nude olid oat. Iil.O the 4 al•tees►u,i et the
face. and the lt. a:.u:t tl uht that it eel unit i.
do justice to Ids t;r, s. The next time he
• stuck Loth lists lieu Itc useeth and reee tee'
eye; and the next his grundzaa, bail
been watching [igen inttittly. r: t fin: til} for.
ward anti lx'Faa alutkiu;; bin and cupping
haw ou the back.
It was twelve o'clock, autt the thermt"ua
eterstood at ninety •eight degri es iu tiie shade
and that artist ground his tenth anti Coaled
to Ace how far it wall from the window to the
eidemalk.
Three or four euorc"uteatisfaetery.ttteenpta
were made, and at le -t alit l::.by, win: Lad
been taken out of the chair ; i• Wally times
Arad was nut prt"petly .test::: slipped dune
on the floor with it ti1'nnp.
An employe of the telegraph company
at Manila had a narrow escape recently
having taken sugar of lead in a mistake
for ammonia. He telegifaplied to Hong
Kong for doctor, who' eame to the: of-
fice and sent him asiyiee by cable.y'hieb
resulted in his recovery. • The distance
is about 555 miles. Probably this is the
first time that a doctor has prescribed
for a patient 500 miles away:
A grand hubbub followed ; everybody
scr4amed.: tiro thrid auntie: Iainte:d nut l the 1
papa his ,.hila the t4 niitese f behind
fear-
Why Incfug for his life, i;c, rctetl hitustelf behind a
FAR�E�S SVD IIIIRINEI
ATTENTSSON_
Why you should use the Combined Milk Bucket and Stool
1st. --Ilett use of this Bucket wilt effectually protest the milk grow convect with *ay
foreign substance whatever. and from the oder of the stable,
2:ei.--SSheuld a vicious cowlark oTer tbe bucket, no milk ir+loot or injured.
ard.--Iu CUP of spattering,oi• misdirected streams. no lose will oeear.
dtlt.--It avolda the soiling of clothing.
Mth.—It is convenient for milking. and does away with the"old•raabiorteetl•''toot.
Gtb,—It enhances th value of dairy butter,
tion
7tl.e---It is mutually acceptable to the milkwau and hieI"atrons, sal it guarautees >;stiafat:-
SM.—Butter and cheese made from milk drawn in this Bucket, puseeases keeptug cloak.
ties, far in advance of that containing all the germs that fall into au unprotected pail,
Ode—Both the creamery and the cbr'cre factory cana:lord to rcmuuerate tttu.e patrons
who use this Bucket, and will iu time,ho compelled to dechuethe milk of those who da not,
RISS TT BROS.
screen in the corner, where he waited until
be was sure that no bones were broken, and
then be came forth, easing that he had been
suddenly called downstairs to see a wan,
Ho was so much relieved ou being told
that they would not try a,-aiu that day thatmintsbe forgot to live up to his rules and demand I
"pay when the ucgstivo is taken."
As they started down the stairs the betati of
the family interned him that they would s
call again iu it few days, and ho has hired a
small boy to sit at the foot of tbe steps and W i
bring bim word at thew approach, so that ho ii a
may have tams, to lock tiro door mid hang out
a notice --"Gone to the t,'entenuial."
You will have no such trouble as this if
you go to W. T. JOHNS' Exeter (north), as .
ho takes children in less than one a:eonti.
"Come up to my quarters with me. I
have some old bourbon there that will
develope it." The recruit was soon af-
terwards commissioned as a corporal.
Whenever a lady marties a member
of the imperial family of Russia, she
has to renounce her religion, if it is not
of the Greek Church, and accept that
of her husband.
A nurse. in an insane asylum says:
"We outlive quickly :t11..fear of . our
patients. For we know by a peculiarity
in the eye of each one when a clanger•
nus outbreak is at hand; and finally,
we reach so callous a stage that the
sane people outside seem for the nonce
lunatics,while the maniacs seem sane."
A •fashion item states that "The Bos-
ton young man is beginning to wear ey.e Iglasses and knee breeches.'"Well, the
one necessitates the other. The average
Bostonoun manneeds the eye glasses
i in order to se his legs. --Peck.
Watches. Stetnwlmien OA A WSiteMotatirnnen'
Wta$L IurtationgeblIc. SolISCoItt12Clov;pe.t
ane beater%neer RMcnlatire euryon,. Yal,t,b1,
esiairsuerre . Thomwoa h Ca. iy:rauavat.l.Y
AYER'S PILLS.
A large proporttoa of the diseases which cause
human suffering result from derangement of the
stomach, bowels, and liver. Arm's CATHARTIC
PILLS act directly upon these organs, and are
especially designed to cure the diseases caused
by their derangement, including Constipation,
Indigestion, Dyspepsia, Headache, Dysen-
tery, -and a host of ether ailments, for all of
which they are a safe, slue, prompt, and pleasant.
remedy. The extensive use of these PILLS by
eminent physicians in regular practice, shows
unmistakably tbo estimation in which they are
held by the medical profession.
Those Picas are compounded of vegetable sub-
stances only, and aro absolutely free from calomel
or any other injurious ingredient.
A Sufferer front Headache writes :
"AYER'S PILLS are invaluable to me, and aro
my constant companion. 1 • have been a severe
sufferer from Headache, and your PILLS aro the
only thing I could look to for relief. One dose
will quickly move my bowels and free my head
from pain. They are the moat effective and the
easiest physic I have ever found. Itis a pleasure
to me to speak in their praise, and I always do so
when occasion offers.
W. L. PACE of W. L. Page & Bro."
Franklin St., Richmond, Va., June 3, 1882.
"I have used AYER's PILLS in numberless in-
stances
sstances as recommended by you and have never
'known them to fail to accomplish the desired re-
sult. We constantly keep them on hand at our
home, and prize them as a pleasant safe and
reliable family medicine. FOR DYSPEPSIA
the are invaluable. J. T. HAYES."
1lfexia, Texas, June 17, 1882.
The REV. FRANCIS B. HARLOWE, writingfrom
Atlanta, Ga., says: ""For some years past have
been subject to constipation, from which, in
spite of the use of medicines of various kinds,
I suffered in.reasing inconvenience, until some
months ago I began taking AYER'S PILLS. They
have entirely corrected the costive habit, and
have vastly improved my general health."
AYER's CATHARTIC PILLS correct irregulari-
ties of the .bowels, stimulate the appetite and
digestion, and by their prompt and thorough
action give tone and vigor to the whole physical
economy.
. PREPARED BY
Dr. J. C. Ayer &C�., Lowell, Mass.
Sold by all Druggists.
YOUNG, Alt experience the wonderful benefl-
tial effects of
OLDANDD
WDLE- .Ayer'S Sarsaparilla.,
AGED,: Chndren wlih Sore fatal:
yes Sore Ears,
or asy scrofulous :or syphilitic 'taint,
may be made healthy and strong by its use.
Sold by all Druggists ; ;1, six bottles for 35.
IMPROVED
ATTENTION
SLIDING GATE.
A DRIVE
AND FIELD GATE
admired by ayery fax
mer. Desired by all Irk*
use Wei.
ElgbIy spo-
low of by sit
who on it.
Its chie merits ars
CONVENIENCE,
OURAl1IUTY,
SIMPLICiTY
AND CHEAPNESS.
w in Num
7111/".) ANEnommign • Mimosa
-It takes up no room on the road or sidewalk. It opens down the fence. It looks open
and when closed, looks sunt. A child six years old can open and close it from a wagon
or horseback, or afoot, I1 is not liable to get out of order,
So simple in construction that any farmer can make it, It can be made of lumber, iron
ar wire -netting. All who see it admire it. Can bo opened with one finger from Wagons,
Buggies, &o, It backs out of the way down the fence, taking up no room, Has no lever-
age on posts. Can bo opened and (dosed 30 times a minute. Makes a secure lock with-
out a latch or pin. A downward pull opens or closes a gate of any length or weight, as
the bandies have a doable notion and always up out of the way. The cost above the or-
dinary gate is from to !}8. I can furnish GATE Inns, no.hinges to buy.
Price of FARM RIGHTS from $5 to $10.
Call and see the Gate at Centralia and Exeter, and secure a
Farm Right.
TO AGENTS I
I' own the Bight of this Patent for HURON COUNTY, and as I am otherwise
gaged and cannot canvas each Township in the County, I will sell 'township .Rights
at prices that will enable the purchaser to wake money at the business.
From $1.0 to $20 per DAV can be M Eft L
By a good canvasser in selling out a Tpwnship Richt in Farm Rights. Can you mase
more at anything else with a Small Capital Invested. I.moan to sell so
you can make MONEY,
A Rare Chance—Speculation.
The selling qualities of this gate cannot be'gnestioned, The Inventor has sold
----OVER $60,000 WORTH ALREADY.--7--
Secure
LREADY. ,Secure a Township Bight, and make money easily and rapidly. If you do not, some
ouo will, and you will 1)se the chance.
Call and see me, or writo fol terms,
�. Q, BOSXZR, Centralia.
For County Rights in Canada write for termaeto
C. W. JONES, London.