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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1884-5-8, Page 3J 4 • WIT AND !MOLL Georgia's "diamond, belt" will nes 3e worn by a pugilist. The wrestling season does not end uur 41 the fall. Slang never heard from the lips of a uride--"Don't givnwaway" Rattlig wishes to know what is a full-dres.5" rehearsal by the ballet? "It is little bits ov things that fret and worry us," says Josh Billings; "we kiin lodge an elephant, but k full a Elephants nie taken on subscription by editors in India, the cord -wood hav- ing given out. The papers say that Gebhardt looks tike a footman. Then Langtry must be $ Lily of the valet. "Sir," wrote a tradesmanto a debtor, "if you will favor me with the Aetount Of my bill, you will oblige .me; if not, I must oblige you." One of the sweetest pictures f do- mestie economy is a poet blacking a white steeking so that it; Won't show through the &Awes et is boot. The Anteriattes arrested in England tor manuketuring ilymantite were only teyieS; to get even with, that country for La»gtry and °sear Wilde to route here. The man whAi never SAW A railroad train died again recently in WiVitedeld, N. .aged WO years, Ignoranee of rafter traveling appears to be lanaluo, ave to on life.—Loel riazt-a, It doem't take a northern invalltl very long to (Yet well'in Florida. When the TAO its &mance eI tell you, pard." said Old Jimmy gannen, ', guide, "the West has lost its romance. Only a little while agpo, it seems to me, where once there was nothing but the whoop of the Indians and the song of the six-shooter, now there are railroads and elaurehes and connuercial mei and high schools and three-card-moute men and lecturers and daily newspapers and every little White A ;IA1111111 death, Why, within two months, if the blasted papers tell the truth, several men have died in Wvom- ing of disease. I tell you, it looks as though us Old-timers would have to move away, When we wait for linger - ng disease to snuff US 011t1 it5 tiwe to light out for the frontier." Bxordse Rua Air. it correspondent writes to the London Spectator: "I believe that you hit the nail on the head when you wrote that 'to sit fur an hour laily in ther open air N the best restorative for persons who must lead sedentary fives,' 1 shonidgo further, and say, let them do sorue of their work in the open air, or at leastby an open wiudew. Wo cannot live in the open air, as so many people do all. the %Wooer iu countries that enjoy a drier climate; but in Eugland it is pees Bible to work On 1110St days for aurae hours out of doors. Brea in Whiter one can often read and write in a shel- tered nook on tbo lieeth side of a house during the middle of the day, provided one t wra ed h th kn C. ct. S. IT rider ta koi* P4 a rci 11'14. Jr ri 1111 AATOVEJD SA Y TO Y these via tutend purchasing t olt So from the tuarinfiettarer- The dealer who buys te sell again nattat necessarily have a profit. We claim to givethe purchasers the benefft, whiOla cannot fail to meet the views of the Grangers- Our espouses i least/son Snout of cite nalatanieetnrersoongenneut weeen ealleheener M tu etur er s Emblems o ail the Different WOULD 71 call apecialatttentie so our ninlestakipgdeptat .1E6*mb/eh 14 wort on plott5hikuover,04wbav stide(100yero uow deeigna. .41 bat '11-t- best collipo 0481Fetitsnrc ndsAnd every linen requislis at 00 ESEIE es. i lair* Our new gearke reActlitaed lo,y cotnneteni ludget to ?at scoond to nor e An the tiro vinees ,ocieties. J* 1011 -WV 11111)MAKBR AHD Funerals furniehuti cOoducte.1 at the yery UM, •est rates idyiStock of Undertaking gootlans large. cotoplete And we itaSCiated, UK any person acquiring anYthinit In this line will fndit t* theiradvantage to give mo a, Gall and examine fct theinselvei. pu itu AS 0 eta first wecr.1:'s hotel bill is' pressnted he and nnrs mid covered. weortog otoueh EMQ011•1.00.11Q11•1111 GABINET-MAIEB. 1 tire rens Ved a Arge stock Walnut and Rosewood Caskets.; al** ealna 04TM 4011OriP- tri.04.. celeAplete SW* o Itobts* and Tvitrintinge &bitty tatt bend. I tErt.e3t atylea 01 Chain im-r and Parlor Suits All kJ oda of Purniture at the loweat TOtee. • TIM BEST 1-110AIRSE TUE cOUIVRY Remember the Ogee—Nearly opposite Kernp's Tobacco Stork,. Sfabestreet. Exeter. ,7011V 4zuvccrw. • geeerally says: "I gips.; I'lli well enough hat to protect the e • i rOttiNG PILES- SYIIPTWISANDOILftE to start for home this efteriloon." much 334.1thi, 13:11.543t, oven tlegain from 41111 apiirteins are moisture, like perapir- s VS Mlle! , Mien, intem.o itching inereasutl. by screteetes; Blue Horse, a "good Intlion," writes to or London beleoriless in the quieter Tift7i4lerigetli7usslr'Xle:rPeflZulwharnoilitnuelitihta;te%grat tha: rho Great Father at Washingtou to send parte of the town, it It were more habit- • him a glass tiye end .q n.. Eitie llorao ual to use them. will be taken for 5 dude if lie doesn't "Arty one who tries a mori)iug read- feted. If allowed to euutinue very serious re- mind how he acts. lug or writing in the open lair will feel sultantay felieve "SWAYNE'S OINTMENT.. Eueheretl. Jaelt (admiringly): "Yon no exhaustion. compared with what the is a pleasant, sure cure. Also for Totter, would have pro- fell, balk -Rheum, Scald Head, Erysipelaa. • are a trump, 5lhei '.‘larian." Miss M.: atm work indoore do you eat' me welt :t ;tante as (Wesel; aud, mereover, he will feel the Berbers' Itch. illotelica, all Rl.CrUat Skin that?" Jack (trimuldientl9: "Ileeause wialt fur exercise, as well as the power Be Ilex, by noel, 50 Cele 3 for 51,24, of your taking treks." to take it, mid will peep up and down Addrete.Dil.SWAYNE45: SON, Phile„ VL At a revere donetien party Melee:tele his balcony., if he cannot get further. 13414 I.YDitIggida, ACE MOT111411,. or received a time quantity of belt- (XV sr.= ,00.utt.mptu,ousli of llOVI.R eooked bread, luta he ..:aes uow t• '•'t rem, out tue nail= mance re TO u at etnt any Moro tiotigI che* pereous„whe know that, though Are yett distnittd at night and awoken or your e"tUttli. 4,a 14121iCfl" in Ids. the wall: out, N refreshing, the return reitby agieltchild aufferlue and eritts with A st.34,1r It.ft t. both, tourney wane exhaustion, and wisely pain of cutting teeth? If so, send at ones and Accept an alternative, which enables) gat'bottle et SIRS WINSGOW'S SOOTUINO illp.r,-Slittes MIL of Ib.' hotel wintIOW dry. the towriliaper anneuneed. that the hotel them to stop before over -fatigue is in- ATRUI"' Italian.' is itwaleulable. It will re- lied ereettel new awnings of an unique vul."•'`1)* 41. small "rnserraturY iS "17 11°14 1" 1I"Tlitth'Iudrenrir4r1"4114"7' U°' helpful where a balcony is unettainahle. Pone IRKn ituaothers, there fano Mists ke itheUt Teatime the private parts are voiretimes af- or 'le grand ale too much for the con It Was "darling Getirs,,e" when a atitution. In either caee, all that le bridal couple left Oinalia; it 'was"dear ' wautoa make a comfortable. open.* George" at Chieago; at Di etroit t NN tIS "George," mitt wheu they rocked Niagara Falls it was "Say your An old Judge told a ,yomig lawyer be would do well to pick some of tie. Path - ere •from the wines of his and stick them into the tail of bus jeer& Went The, N'ew Orleans PiozyPene has dis- covered that "the dude has two wadi,. but no wateh." The dude is not such a fool as he looks. for he knows that the weight of a watch, would make him bow-legged, 'Meat," said the Texas UM of his neighbor, "why, there isn't a drop of the milk of human kindness in that man's body. He's got a dog that's an elegant match for Jeulc's bull -pup, and he won't let 'orn Tho pleasures incident to life In Arts study is a folding gardeu-eltair, which throws up the knees se as to form a desk; and a low stool, for ink -stand, hooks, etc. Care should be taken to close the windows into the room behind, or draught is inevitable. What are call- ed 'Freuch windows' are the most 0011-. venient, as befog meet easily opened from without." A Golly Mistake. Sometime ago Mr. W. D. McAdoo, proprietor of the MeAdoo house. in Greenboro, wanteda. plate of gleea, in size 22x32 inches, and wrote to a New York house to send it to him, and to draw on him at sight for the pay, li"ow, it might have been all right, but Mr. McAdoo wrote "feet" instead of "inch- es." The New York firm, on receiving this extraordinary ortler—the glass wanted being described as fine French - tens are shown in the experience of plate—concluded that Were must be the young woman of Tucson who. when disrobing for slumber, discovered a huge scorpion so securely fastened in her corset strings that it bould sot In- jure hoe. -Among the astonishing, performances' of persons deprived of sight that of the Matt who ascended Mont Blanc is worthy of mention. England has a blind Postmaster General who manages emu mistake, and telegraphed to Mr. McAdoo in substance about as follows: "Heven't you made a mistake? In all of our thirty years' experience we have never received an order of this sort." Mr. McAdoo, confident that he was oorrcct, telegraphed that he "wanted what he ordered," and for them to send it along. The firm, not yet satisfied, the department with unprecedentedauo- wrote hixn a letter stating that they eess. would not be able to fill the order unless thy were to import the glass, and to More than 100 per eent. of the school children of Pittsburg are afflicted with this Mr. McAdoo replied: "Go ahead and import." In the course of time myopia, or near-sightedness. Faultily .was constructed school buildines?s line print Mr: MeAdooatonished at receiving in text books, pal© ink,greasy slat* • a bill of lading for a piece of Frerich- g plate glass, one luck thick, thirty-two feet long and twenty-two feet wide, shippedou steamer from Franco to Nor- folk. The immense piece of glass, care- fully boxed, was carried across the ocean on the steamer's deck, and was laid. on the wharf et Norfolk, where it now re- mains. Tiate is ho possible way of transporting it over land by rail, as it would not pass through the cuts along the railrod, nor could- it go through the covered bridges. No doubt if Mr. Me. Adoo could get it to Greenboro he would find some use for it, but how to get it there is the question. In the meantime the plate of glass is lying on the wharf at Norfolk, waiting his orders. It cost him $3,100.—Baleigh, (N. (.1.) Hews. and poor blackboards are some of the causes. In other cities the percentage is equally great. Edward Gould has completed fifty years of service as Cashier of what is now the National Traders' Bank of Port- land, Me. He was first elected Cashier on March 9, 1833, when the institution was called the Manufacturer's and Traders' Bank. Mr. Gould is 78 years old, and in excellent health. This is good for a waif: Said a fond mother at the table of it fashionable Chicago hotel, the other day, "Do you know my little son, that the word menu is French for bill of fare?" "0, yes, mamma," was the assuring. reply. "me- nu it!" The mother fainted right there. he was afraid the boy woeld grow up to be a earaerauh editor. An Irishman whose soberest -moments are when he first awakens at morning, attempted to lean against the shadow of a post the other night and fell on the side- walk. Getting up with difficulty, and seeing a policeman approaching, he thrust his head into a neighboring store and exclaimed: "A nice way to trait a gintlemin. "Ill have the whole av ye arrested for kaping a disorderly house. If you want to find a good logician, go to your tailor. The ether day one of these fractions of the hunian family was overheard to remark: "I never ask a gentleman for money." "But sup- pose he doesn't pay you?" "Well, if he doesn't pee me within it reasonable time, I conch:Z.1e lie is 'not' a gentleman --and then I tusk . A newly -married couple from "Way - back' were in the city yesterday, and, of course, found au oyster saloon the first thine. "How do you want them, The Gas trust of Philadelphia fur- nishes the city with free gas, and to private consumers makes a reduction of 10 cents per 1,000 cubic feet from last year's fates. By this . action taxpayers are saved $194,000 annually, while the aggregate saving to private consumers will be something. like $144.000. • .teeite e ,. • • . men do be- fore he can go to ten( asked a teacher in Sunday -school. A good. boy wohld have known the proper answer. at once and replied that i.uttn must be rt least decently. he .t, a condition which would exclude ii• Ay every office- holder in this country since the Declare - ion of Independence, mit a little boy, who was too literal to be satisfactory, answered: "He must die, sir." When two Icelanders meet on the. Street, instead of shaking hands they get down on ail -fours and. rub noses to- gether. ' The other day an Icelander traveling through this country stopped on the half -shell?" the. waiter asked the for a few hours at Pittsburg. His first groom. "Nah-sir-ee! thar's no half -shell exclathation was: "The men here must business with this weddin' trip; gire be very affectionate. Their noses show 'em to us on the whole shell."—.o- that they are rubbed hard fifty times ter Past7Ptspateh. day." • It. It cures dysentery and diarrhoea. regulatea the stomach and. bonds. tures g 4 110 softens the kiting, reduces inflammation, and 1, gives tone ant energy to the whole system,' Das. WINSLOW'S St/nil-4'0 tap Felt C1111.0. AUX Tasrivao fit plessant to the taste, and is the prrscription Of one of the oldest end liftet female nurses and kyriciiini orae United States, and ig forsale by all druggists through- out the world. Frico 'Tuts a bottle. AR)1CA and OIL LINIMENT CURES ALL Pains and Aches AND 1$ THE MOST PERFECT razy tII11E n the VIVID! 501.0 SY ALL 0EAtIRS. FAME, 25 AND 50 COTS PER BOTTLE TS aroNN k CO., of the, SCIENTIFIC AltERICAN,cou. Unuo to set St.ticlVirs for 14..tents, Caveats, Trade Marks. rityriglite. fur the United Statea, Canada. Enpiand, ranee. Germany, etc. Band Book about Patents sent free. Thirty4aven yearsexperience. Patents obtuf ned throtuat MUNN k CO. are nOtleed In tbo SCIENTIFICASIERICA21,_the larscs_t best. and most widely' circulated .Selentine paler. s0.20 a year. Weekly. Splendid engravings and Interesting In- fo...won. Specimen copy of the Scientific Amer. Scan sent fret:. Address1.111141.1 A CO.. Scuttautul aststuc.a.it Office. XI Broadway. New lark. VIII be mailed eneff to all applicants and to etutomers of last a-nE% year without ordering ic. it contains illustrations, prices, descriptions and directions for planting all Vegetable and Plower Seeds, Plants, etc. Invaluable to alt. D. M. FERRY & Health & Happiness for all. WILL CURE OR RELIEVE Biliousness, Headache, Dys- pepsia, Indigestion, Dizziness, Jaundice, Dropsy, Fluttering of the Heart, And every species of disease arising from Impure Blood, &c. &c.. PR UFA RED DY TIER Climax Chemical Company MONTREAL. ' t•TBA P(11?K PACKING HOUSE daring euntineneve beizinesiter the Tall and Winter Trade weesereautews6&mniellegglent Wo a re p rewired to pat -Chase en) quantl ty of Pork .4 ubj est to thefellowiugreettlations We will take off twit pouudt per hundred if &ben threepoun ;I soft. S eel erteex twenty -Ave cents. If any 01 the 1, agog gate are left ia,25 eutsoxtrRwlU bedcductcd. No proK will be bought at an,y price it warm. Wewant all Hogs cutting right threigh breast to head. and Ramsopened out to tail. G & J. PETTY - THE ONLY VEGETABLE CURE' POR • 31Ze2153Fni312'191.41... Loss of Appetite, Indi,sestion, Sour Stontr.!1, Habitual Costiveness, Sick Headache and Biliousness. Pike, 25. per bottle. Sold by alt Druggists. SCROFULA and all scrofulous diseases, Bores, Erysipelas, Eczema, Blotches, Ringworm, Tumors, Can townie,. Boils, and Eruptions of the Skln, are the direct result of an impure state of the blood. To ewe these diseases the blood must bo puri- fied, and restored to a healthyand natural condi- tion. Aran's SAILBS.P.SUILL.t. has for over forty years been recognized by eminent medical au- thorities as the most powerful blood purifier in existence. It frees the system from all foul hu- mors, enriches and strengthens the blood, removes all traces of mercurial treatment, and proves it- self a complete master of all scrofulous diseases.. A Recent Cure of Scrofulous Sores. " Some months ago I was troubled with scrofu- lous sores (ulcers) on my legs. Tho limbs were badly swollen and inflamed, and tho sores dis- charged largo quantities of offensive matter. Every remedy I tried failed, until I used AYER'S SAuSeParaLLA, of which I have now taken three bottles, with the result that tbo sores are healed, and my general baalth greatly improved. I feel very grateful for the good your medicine has done me. Yours respectfull3r, 24fits. Ax O'Burs:c." 148 Sullivan St, New York, June 24,1882. Or All persons interested are invited to tali on Mrs. O'Brian; also upon the Rev. Z. p. Wilds of 78 East 54th Street, New York City, vvho will take pleasure in testifying to the wonderful efficacy of Ayer'e Sarsaparil- la, not only in the cure of this lady. but is his own case and many others within his knowledge. The well-known writer on the Boston Herald, B. W. BALL, of Rochester, Ir.H.,writes, Juno 7, 1882: "Having suffered severely for some years with Eczema, and having failed to lind relief from other remedies, I have made use, during the past three months, of AYER'S SARSAPARILLA, Wliieli bas effected a colreplete cure. I consider it a magi: cent remedy for all blood diseases." • Ayr's Sarsaparilla stimulates and regulates the action of the di- gestive and assimilative organs, renews and strengthens the vital forces, and speedily cures Rheumatism, Neuraigia, Rheumatic Gout, Catarrh, General Debility, and all diseases arising from an impoverished or corrupted condi- tion of the blood, and a weakened vitality. It is incomparably the cheapest blood moil on account of its concentrated strong( h, a :01 gre:, t power over disease. PREPARED DT Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Mass. told by all Druggists; price al, six bottles for is. WILL CUBE CR RE.1,1EVE CILIOUSNESO, OIZZINE84 AIPEPS1,4, DROMY, t'XGE8TION, FLOTTERINO JAUNDICE. OF THE HEAR;r, EDYSIPELA4 ACIDITY OF $ALT RHEUM, THE 8TOMACH, HEARTBURN, DRYNESS READAVIE, QF THE OKA t,nd every speclea of disease arising_froV .440Prtierect L'VaR, KION0Y8. STOS.W#S, soweee etooti, qr. MILBURR & P"lotlilsorr' 011.-t,t).0 Year .4 401iENSTON'S SARSAPARILLA MYER tOXPLAIIT, And for Purifying the 11100d. It hes been fn f or %years, and has proved to be the beet preparation in the market for SICK DA »t11El. FAIN IN TlIZ SIDS Oft BACK, _LIVER CO:4- FDIPLFel FM9:, DYSPEPSIA, 111.1;i. and all 1ttseao,-e that arise t :AA iliscrylered Liver (4-4 an Indere 111,4411. Tito sands Gf evar ThcerC 4, 1111.4t 1ft- 341:4 iitcae yip* 1.4•1 It te4A4.4:.11t nd it to Wm:4W .114, tia•s—affila, 'iVinteegft.en. ar4U elLee *8••totit Herbs. It 4 a strictly y. 7.,1•11.4, ar..11.4..;•- noLl.urt the ruo‘t c, ii=taut: n gegnlaItistt,ulrgricf tltuage heecort 4ultzliskincs aPe to: rol,:ticlia,a1:441orl1f;s4s..r3ra4:111;"444reLrfall'...rctlz.Z.s.– ..,PINE M:III t.ineet eao•In a r.f TG4 r` 'P.. 1 •O •"4, :rtr,t1,*-1: -I. YEL C PREEMAX'S WORM POWDER. Are pleasant to tithe. Contain tboir own Pargative. Is a safe, sure, and etteetwa Esicroyer or worms in Children or Adults, "I' I I HOOSEHOESEVini`ip t 1 < v tc,[ - PRO virmvcr.,.? oo ST BE AU T I FUL EXAMINE yr. NSUMPTION I taro a poidtis e remedy for the above dledase; Or 115 tnousaads creases of the went kind and 01 1,. standing have been cured. In deed. so strseg Is (still Is its °Mese', that I will send TWO BOTTLES Pam together with a YA LITARLE TREATISE on this Ai I tre4S0, to any suirerer. Oirtr Express 5.01 P. 0. alit op.. rat. r. A. SLOCUM, 1St Pearl St., New ruoc. 14 WHO IS 1JHAOQUAIN TEO WITH THE GEOGRAPHY OF THIS 0001:. --• • ....... • ---••• • II • VI Vivi• QV LAQMSCIAPPLO • STIQ QM., I Qr.\ • n ;Top- wyopor-74.,-- 1)31 ::71,1%11,14Pfl- L.12— Eflain,RnPLITAN1 Bybecent;sipo 1. n1103(0 tt East and the West by tho shortest route, and car- ries passengers. without change of oars, between Chicago and Kansas City, Connell Bluffe,Leaven- worth, Atchison, Mitmeapolis and St. Paul. It connects in Union Depots with all the principal lines of road between the Atlant(0 and the Paotflo Ocean.. US equipment ia unrivaled and magnifi- cent, being composed of Moat Comfortable and Beautiful Day Coaches, Magnifieent Horton Re- clining Chair Cars, Pulltnsun Prettiest Palace Bleeping Care, and the Beat Lino of Dining Cars in the World. Three Trains between Chicago and Missouri River Points. Two Trains between Chi- cago and Minneapolis 00.1 81. Paul, via the Famous "ALBERT LEA ROUTE." A New and Direct tine, via Seneca and Kanka- kee, has recently br ou opened between Richmond, Norfolk,Newport Howe, Chattanooga, Atlanta, Au- gusta, Nashville, Louisville, Lexington, Cincinnati, Indianapolis and L,trayette. and Omaha. Minneap- olis and. St. Paul and intermediate points. Aa TrlilnIhrough Passengers Tr avel on Fast Express Tickets for sale at all_prineipal Ticket Offices in the United States and Canada. Baggage checked through and rates of fare 0, ways as low as competitors that offer less adven- t=detailed information, get the Maps and Fall- en of the CREAT ROCK ISLAND ROUTE, At yournAmr. eareetTicket Offiee. or address R.o Vice.Pres. & Deal WO., 5. lifireallaviOt.ilaiNI, a% 5. se. CHICACO-