HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1884-3-27, Page 6H1tltiorous.
The, mantle of chanty that is
thrown over the poor is eery stili.
It scarcely keeps out the colli. •
Yes, G a.•hiug D meet, we believe a
had small brother can be influenced
by prayer, if the pr ye- le: backed up
by the liberal see of a horsewhip.
T a deacon caught by hismime.
ter corning out of a saleoon there is
ntbine so coneohng as tt eign, "Hot
Beef Tea," ou the galloon window.
Whet: at metal declares that he does
riot want au officd, and keeps on de
cliuiug when tic real inentioe Mita
been iu. de, pelt him Clown as a aaaidi•
(late..
wader why my head coulee
oat of the water first instead of say
feet ?" said Jee,ee to Thowas, while
both wore hardline. "Welt, the light
est alweye comes rip first," said
'remises.
"How carnes that Coat sleeve with.
such a big hole in it ?" iudiguanity
asked a l`o`ather of her ten -year-
old boy. ' :sil,ma," he replie'l, ''the
fact ire 1 laughed in my sleeve till I
busted, it."
"Herr Meyer, I euppoee you. wirier.
stood that every carte WAS to bring
something to the picnic. What have
you broight ?" Herr Meyer—"My
two bays, as yon see."
A Moundsville,. Week Virginia, girl
halt eloped with a tramp. elaybe she
WW1 e. haughty young thing and want.
ea a hueba ud who didn't .have to, or
at !Part wonitln't, work aud spoil his
hands,
"When 1 have a cold in toy head,''
said a gentlemen, apologetically. "I
aril. nlweys stupid," "I have never
seen liini when he hadn't juat such a
t;uld," whispered a third Intrty inan
uutlertoue,
Headlines in the Hartford Piet :
"Inhuman use f an axe. An intoN,-
ieated than lays open the head of bis
s.m.in-late." 1't dates strike one that
the Pest is right ; it was inhuman,
Tkta w'atneu were married to ental
other in Virginia recently. It may
be all right at the present, but after a
while—Walk of it—tile children will
each have two iuothsrs and no fetal -
err,
Ir. Beecher says "a quarrel in ala
church is a holiday in Bell." IIs
they h'lven't been working down
stairs mares than three days •a mouth,
for a year or two past, then. Oh, no,
of course—a quarrel in the choir
doesn't count.
"Yes," sail the Veraloht young
star, "I'ln reckleas to -day and so'e
hill, and we are just going to paint
the day red '.•, and then he and Bill
went and (?rauk three glasses aprece
of Cider, bought two live Cent cigars,
and put iu the afternoon plavin4
ebeeiia'rs at the gro3ery.
Yea, sic," :ratio the eritniuttl law-
yer, ",that feliocv is tttlnrateful. I
cleared Idea of slat charge of murder
when store's no d,nubt tae ought to
have been .hanged for it atu.l wharf
he caller to settle and 1 prese;.ted my
bill he lo:rlcetl pite!ras and asked why
Ididn't Int them haug him."
"What is it :ntices your host
burnt :x" asked a young lady, cumuli.
ly, of a fireman at n. firetnen'e ball.
" ity —wlhy, I don't know," blush-
ingly 8tatnme;eti the young man,ca:st.
Mg at :illy, backward glance at his
heel, "unless it is because I Haven't
got anybody to darn 'em up for alt'."
"I want you to snake my pants to
sat as neat as these," said a b3wleg-
ged customer to a Winoonsin street
tailor, at tile same time pointing to a
late fashion. plate, "Certainly," re-
plied the tailor "but I'll . have b
curve them considerably as you seem
to have been born especially for horse-
back riding." And -the customer is
wondering what the tailor was driv-
ing at.
It is all well enough to advise a
young man to overcome all obstacles
by "taking the bull by the horns";
but when the youth is in the middle
of the field and the bull is coming to-
ward him with its head down and its
tail lashing the air the young man
prefers to take the fence. It would
be decidedly 'unwholesome to take the
bull by the horns under those circum-
stances.
The Ways of Iowa Girls.—When a
Marcus girlwants her fellow to go
home she takes down her back hair.
Le Mars girls take off their' shoes.
Sanborn girls say, "It's time for my
dearest Charles to unclasp his encir-
cling arms aud hie away to his pat-
ernal domioile." Correotionville girls
are mere practical and less demon-
strative ; they simply say, "Sonny,
time's up ; gin•„
An Indiatla` editor was at home sick
with typhoid fever and his wife and
little daughter were dowo at the same
time with diphtheria and scarletina
This was• tough, but the office boy
tried to be funuy and made it worse
by publishing a note in the editor'
paper that "Typhoid fever, diphther
1a, tscanlettna are the results of hu
man iguor111We, Stupidity, lazing
and filth rather than vieitatlons of
Ged." That office itov will wish that i
he had never been born wheel the
editor sufficiently recovers to nee his
foot.
The Deaeo s Dog.
A story is told of the pt'esouee of
niiud of allow.Haampshire :Weenie who:
was very fond of dogs. Ere tad oue
valuable setter that lin had trained
himself, and that linderetood hisevery,
word and etightest gesture with an al.
iltost human intelligence, Oue even-
ing at a prayer meeting the good [eau
was offering au earnest exortatioia and
the ueople sat with bowed heads, giv-
ing him earnest attention. The aud-
tepee faced the stand where sat the
pastor; the doors opened ou either
aide. All at once, one of the doors,
which 11ud been left ajar, was pushed
, open and the handsome head of the
deacon's favorite setter wars throat.
The head was followed by the body,
and the dog in tot.' had just started
with a ioyfut bound toward ire master -
The deacon generally knew what was
going QR about him, whether he was
praying ar aho:'ting, alai tlto first
movement of the intruder Attracted
his attention. Quick as a flash the
deacon, rnisuag his hand with a warn-
ing gesture; "Thou bast given ns our
charge; help us to keep it," At the
emphasized word, ac well known to
tris oautne ear, the haudsutno brute
t stopped, as. If shot, ou the very thres-
hold of the door, with his iotelligetet
eye fixed ou his master In the same
unmoved tone, with a slight wave of
the el:touded hand; " we would not
return back to thee with our duty on
earth uufnlfllled." Again the perfect
tr cuing of the de.nou's pet was made
evident, for without a whimper, he
turned tte uoiaelelsly as ht; 11 ad enter
:ed, and remained quietly outside until
his master appeared.
Altair). of sats.
;The most ludicrous cat thewtaictl
story oouies from the St. Charles the.
ater, New Orleaus, in its palmy clays.
when fat old Ben de Bar WAS manager.
He was annoyed by eats passing a
,cro-. s the stage daring the performan.
ee. The place° was infested with rata,
and three large toles were kept busy
all the eeasou looking after them.)
L'+Qt'flll as they were, it wsa neeetwery
that they be suppressed. They had
Heti allowed so slue(( License that
hardly had a night passed but they
would, with arclleu backs aud txl(.'a's-
ured tread, move across the stage and
taro the deepeet tragedy into the ver-
ieet farce. De Bar ordered that they
be beuished to the flies durlltg the per
forst:the', nut sliouldbe brcught down
only for entsoses of buaiuoes. The
Stage tt:irlwtatsr made as kind of tette
wen: fur theta by throwing an old di-
lapidated adeno cross what, in the
atrical parlance, is known as the grid
iton: that is, the frame which hills
the ;;:eat: ill iso-ittaln. Here the c-tts
roamed at plea•nre, and neemed pleas-
ure, anti aeeaued pleased with their
new quarters. They' multiplied rapid-
ly, and were nightly visited by eats
from the neighborhood, to whoul they
kept open Mon e One night there
was an unusually large assemblage,
and, their weight being greater than
could be supported by the rotteu scene
that fowled the platforrn for their
promenading, tits 'fattens-1'matel, and
in the midst of the most pathetic scene
in Pau:hon, down they came, bolter-
ske.ter, pell-mell. It fairly rained cats.
The astoniahmeut of the audieuee,
wbieb was ignorant of the earn of
the mishap may well be imagined, as
well as the uproarious anerriulent
that greeted such a parformil;tics.
Several of the actors were severely
scratched, and there was a run OD the
property mai for flesh -colored o,llrt.
plaster.
s« -
Stories of clever Attttnals.
The most faithful mail meseeuger
of Sullivan county, N. Y., is a dog
belonging to the station age.tt at
Winterton. When near the time for
the arrival of the train the dog takes
his place on the depot platform, aud
upon receiving the bag carries it to
ti i poet office. •
A Portland man put a large spider
on a floating chip iu a pond. After
walking all about the sides of the ebip
tee spider began to cast a web for the
shore. He threw it as far *s nossibie
in the air and with the wind. It
caught on some blades of grass. Then
turning himself about the spider be.
gan.to haul the chip toward chore.
A. horse in Sayreville, Pa., has to
haul45 loads of clay and 1 load of coal
dust every day. He receivsa no or-
ders, yet never !ails to go exactly the
right number of times to tae clay pit,
and then•to the coal heap on the pier.
. He has his own idea how much each
load ought to be, aud rears and kicks
if too much is put ou his cart.
s For fifteen years a horse belonging
- to Col. Mott, of Wesbury has been
• driven at a certain' hour to town for
tl the family mail. Recently the ani•
trial .teae ()echoed. entitled to a test, I
but at the usual ti a lie broke front
tate stable and was soon at the poen.
office. The animal has ever eiuce
appeal.; ed daily at th•t regular hour at
the post office, Sendeye excepted.
A. dog beltaugiug to a Grundy cone-
ty ferulla,�r helps his master to cheat,
\hen he is hauling grain end the
team is :nivel) on the ee'ilos, tho dog
walks under the wa.eon and lies down
As be'wci;lis40poundK and the is
only 82 Is:tuails .o a bullet. of oats,
he counts wo',derfnl. When the far
trier come'• back to have his wagon
weighed the dog forget,. to be there.
SOL G
Flt ET..
A great many farneere are cram-
ptaioing that their cows havesore
feet. "root tut' they call it. Ttzt
ditteatse is canned by flint ; wet ntau
lire, mull, lee cola water. snow, and
eontat': wetness of fear, especially
between the Millet of the hoof. Tile
skin becomes irritated and iufl i mad
and soon brenlfa out in blisters which
break and run toietia. r, 1 have aeon
caws winch were kept in a close base.
went amble n itttnnt litter, and. in
manure a fo,'t'irnp-because the on nor
ooubl not pull htmee't together suffl
eiently more than oaa.oa week to clear)
it {,tit --c e,y batt( with ibis disease, so
that that hoofs had outnc teff, When
this disease gots No bad as tide,
through the herd ,,filet 'te fo :t.rt in
sheep, which is t't t x sittlila:, becomes
tnalignnnt nod cutatai;i eta from the
poisonous virus intuition]. It is very
easy to prevent it. I n'' ran suggest
just now that prevention is the easiest
cure. '
A. 11 TO MOTHERS.
aro you disturio.d at night and broken of your
restby ttstekchild suffering suet eryius with
paiu of cutting teeth: If so, send at once awl
gets bottle or 311IS WIN T.O\ 't+ SOOTHING
STE1VIr• Its vale•, 1' inealeulablo. It will re.
Iteve the poor little s^ts'er t r it9tnreiatel; . Ire*
!loud upon itinotlter', thole Is so nuts- tieabout
it. Iteures dysentery and t}iaxrhoea,regulates
rile stomach and- bOWdls, ewes wind colic.
Aaften8 the gator:, reduce; infiaemau'ation, and
gIves tone au.1..atr;o• t., the whole system.
.tins, wissLow o FooTili.:o Starr ron COMP.
am; Tr1."rurtia it ldeasaut to the taste. and is
the prescription of one of the oldest and best
female tomes end rhys•totnt si iv. the rutted
States and i' for 41•• rig all orae alias 1 through-
out the w„rl+l, Price zs . cert, a MAW.
RIR PAPER Inay nt found P.
ttlo at tit a. P.
I1OWELfi .V` Go's
Newspaper Advertle'ng Bureau 110 t'spruae
tlstntt,wntcxoaetvc'r-NE YORK.
tlsingJ• coaatlatetaaxlray
be mase tOl' It in
ARNICA and OIL
LINIMENT
CURES ALL
Pains and Aches,
AND IS THE MOST PERFECT
FAMILY MEDIDIr1E in the 11/011Lt g
SOLD BY ALL DEALERS.
PRICE, 25 AND 53 CTS PZII 13T.T.Z.
1
EWS
aterr Pectoral,
nt.ht'r et'nepluint? are ,O insidious in thiirat•
1! ,r. eting the tlrrunt and lungs: none
wall by the majority of sufferers. The
i.:.:.•} e.'ngh ur cold, resulting perhaps from a
g dtr rueourccious exposure, is often but the
..:metng of a fatal sickness. A:YER'S CHERRY
r:' rmiAt. has well proven its eflicaey ina forty
:yrs' fight with throat and lung diseases, and
be taken in all eases without delay.
A Terrible Cough Cured.
In 15E71 took a severe cold, which affected my
lucks. I had a terrible cough, and passed night
atter night without sleep, The doctors gave hie
ua'_ I tried AVER'S CHERRY PECTORAL, which
relieved niy lungs, induced sleep, and afforded are
the rest necessary for the recovery of my strength.
I ay the continued. use of the PEcronan a perma-
nent cure was effected. I am now 62 years old,
hale aud hearty, and nut satisfied your Ctlainrx
Pm:To rAL saved fine. I1oa &oE rAIRnROTH1:'it."
Rockingham, Vt., July 16, 1882.
Croup. —A Mother's Tribute.
"%1'hile in the country last winter my little
boy, three years old, was taken ill with croup; it
seemed as if he would die from strangulation.
One of the family suggested the use of Ai rat's
CHERRY PECTORAL, a bottle of which was al-
ways kept in the house. This was tried in smail
and frequent doses, and to our- delight in less than
half an hour the little patient wasbreathing eas-
ily. The doctor said that tate ()HER r 1'Ecroet.tL
had saved my darling's life. Can you wonder at
our gratitude? Sincerely yours, • r
MES.•BsnsA GEDNRr."
189 West 128th St., New York, May 16, 1852.
" I have used AYER' S CHERRY PECTORA I. in my
family for several years, and -do not hesitate to
pronounce It the mosteft'ectual remedy forcouglis
and colds we have ever tried. A. J. C1t.NIs."
Lake Crystal, Minn., DIarcl113, 1882.
"1 suffered for eight years from Bronchitis, and
after trying many remedies with no success, 1 was
cured by the use of AYER's CHERRY PECTORA L.
JOSEPH WALDEN."
Byhalia, Miss., April 5, 1882.
.;"I cannot say -enough in praise of Avr:R's
QAERItY PECTORAL, believing. es 1 do that but
for its use 1` should long sineo have died from
lung troubles. L. baaonos."
Palestine, Texas, April 22, 1882. e
No case of an affection of the throat or lungs
exists which cannot be greatly relieved by the use
of A•YER'S CHERRY PECTORAL, Stili it will alu•ayS
cutewhen the disease is not already beyond the.
control of medicine.
PREPARED nY
Dr. J. C. Ayer & Co., Lowell, Moss
Sold by all Druggists.
0. & S. GIDI,I+N,
tTade Maker( , alit( 176 L rn.iture- nufh etux el s
WOULD S.A.2 TQ
Y those Nth tuttegt
purchasing to dr so ire*
the tnauufaeturer. The
dealer who buys to sell
again must necessarily
have a profit. We claim
to givethe purchasers rho
benefkt, wdlieh cannatfa1il
to meet the views of the
(Grangers. Our expenses
arelosst:,hattthose ofoile
manuTaetitrereeonsequent
we can eolloheaper.
Emblems of all the
Differed
rH WOUL-D
call speoialatttentio
to our' undertaking depart
etent,wliich is more cent
pletethanever,ae we haver
added
lateoTh several
eeOlnns
duekets siarcuds,audevery
iunorel requisite at the
towest prices Our new
Kearse is prouottneedby
competent judges to be
second to pore in the
provinces
Soci®tie
UNDERTAKER- AND
Fuuerals turuiehed',
conducted at the 'very low
est rates^
My Stock of 1lndortaking
goodsis cargo. complete
and we assorted,aud any
.persou:equiring auvthing
t thisline will andlt to
theiradvantageto give m4
a caB and examine tet
theinseives,
BITROLANIVTIZT
CABLE -MAKER.
Tut; BEST 11,
Remember the place -Nearly epposatr ken
I have just reap red a
aro stook %Yaluut and
Rosewood Caskets; elm
1'otllns of every desertp
tion. A coxttploto stook
of Robes and Triumriuge
alae' *allays.
'Cite latest styles of
Chamber and Parlor Suits
All kinds of kurniture at
ti:o lo::estratca..
U THE COUNTY_
's Tobacco
/ More,, ALLaiu�ssttreecct, Exeter.. �+p�
4,}4 H+4�t WRi14. IT.
exCe Tiro,
Table.
Kirktou.Woodltant,Riu.•1te1reaaud I.tiulviltc
South,eostaud west,iucludiaag l oudon.11aaniltee Tort ut ' neetre,d
, A
oba,tYuito.1States, l uglisisand foroignmails s .. ... .., ,..
lloutb, eao,tand west...
l Attaiyr, tt enosn.
i8.iraa.ui 5COpm.
uit•t
9.30 a. w. Q.CO a. to
,
r,;r, p.m. i•;ttp,al"
t Orth auf t'aet iueludiugGedcrieh, t5 ingbata, Eines`hut• and aliroiutottorth, t
strat old,'lorouto, atoi trcal.etud Pitsttru Rtutc . .. •, fir.(( a.m ;8.:'+1 n. ut
Xorth ,:, 0.;410.1o.',
axi p.1o.'5.N1 it. in.
6.7Atp.et. ,..til p. ate.
t
...
;i.iO EY ORD CDS
locoed toe festa o.ai ked from ata. amass tarder011ice in tllellnataiatiaai of eanx,d0.0re't Itrit:ai
Irelaxcd.Drat Isla India, New foun7lund,f:( rmalsy.Auetria.Italy, Anstratin n n4 the 17nire'i Stat
PQSTOellen HAVINt±filletNK.
s
Deposits w ill be received at this office (rote i,51,to ia3; ;L llega'sitors obtaining the 1'osties%tcr-
General'fiR cc.alperutiat•it.ncandeposit$10KI. Asper•itsouleat:lugs Haub account received fric.
9.tn.to•ip.nt.
(telco hours t. out 7.110 a. ln. to 7 p.111.
i.etters intended torregistration luutit be posted lc: taiiaott.S1M tare the eloging of oath wait.
II—Itis particulary requested that the sotltler.i of matter will kindly add the names of tit
Comities to ttte adt1n sees.
l):JOHNS, l'w.tuln iter.
FARMERS' ATTENTION
LENT:2%) fit4a;PRI ED
A DRIVE
Ai1D FIE:
Ati �i:etl 1�y everyELD' FGATaslC
."r rata. 'Desired by all who
use Gated,
tJ
SLIDING CATE.
Highly spo-
ken of by all
vaso See It.
Its chief merits are
CONVENIENCE,
DURABILITY
SIMPLICITY.
AND CHEAPNESS.
It takes up no room ou therm]. or sidewalk. It opens clown the fence. It leeks open
and when closed, locks shut. A child six yearn old can open and close it from a wagon
or horseback, or n foot. It is not Iiablo to get out of order.
a
So simple in construction that any farmer can make it, It eau be made of lumber, iron
ar wire -netting- All who see it admire it. Can be opened with oue finger from Wagons,
Buggies, &c. It backs out of the way clown the fence, taking up no room, Has no, lever-
age on posts. Can be opened and closed 30 times a minute. Makes a secure lock with-
out a latch or pin. A downward pull opens or closes a gate of any length or weight, as
the handles have a double action aud always up out of the way. The cost above the or-
dinary gate is from 5,1 to $8. I can furnish Gann Inose, no hinges to buy.
Price of FARM RIGHTS from $5 to $113.
Call:and:see the Gate at Centralia and. Exeter, and secure a
Farm Right.
TO AGENTS !
} I own the Right of this Patent for HURON COUNTY, and as I am otherwise
gaged aud cannot canvas each Township in the County, I will sell Township Rights
at prices that will enable the purchaser tii make money at the business.
From $1.0 to $20 per DAT calx. be MAME
•
By a good canvasser in selling out a Township Right in Farm Rights. Can you matte
more at anything else with a Sntalll Capital lnvestetl. I mean to sell so
you eau maks MONEY.
A Rare Chance -Speculation.
The selling qualities of this gate cannot be questioned, Tho Inventor has sold
-----OVER $60,000 WORTH ALREADY.
Secure a Township Right, and make money easily and rapidly. If you do not, . some
one will, and yoti will IDse the chance.
Calf and see me, or write for terms,
E1,, Q, BOEXER, Centralia
For County Rights in Canada write for terms' to
l0, W. JON,