HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1880-9-16, Page 6Vat Trl\.f+;S
HUMOROUS. bread the outer morning, when she
The empty gen never .ticks. (crushed him with the reply, 'Dot you
want to make a perfect glutton of your -
An upper fiat—Au ari'stoeratie hood- self 7 Why, you had two crackers and
le, a cup of water only two days ago!'
pa The boy stood iu the melon patch
When all but him had fled,
And visions of a royal feast
\Vont daueing through his head.
slut the farmer and the bulldog came
and then, Oh I where was he ?
Go ask the duotorman who patched
Hie sore au-at-o•mee !
Where is the than who is going 4
days without a drink?
A naught -that mints one --an iero.
neat,
It is bettor to be a righter of wrongs.
than a writer about wrongs.
A shooer thing—a woman ehash)g a
hen.
Hiuts on camping out—Let some-
body else do it.
A young man may be doing dirty on
a tented field ant' du nothing but drive
a ei:'eus waggon.
The best church belles are those who
make no noise during the service.
A woman who Dian four sons, all
sailors, compares herself with a year,
because she has four seasoner
"Frozen lsinduess" is the latest de-
vice for iuyeigliug you iuto an ice cream
baleen.,
The tree keepsi'ts trunk in good
order during the winter, seethed it shall
be ready to leave early in the spring.
Church choirs are put at the back
ends of the churches' to accommodate
the,tineid worshipers• whot cannot faee
the music
The Boston Globe says that a pro.
miring youug horse in south Boston
bas been named Dr. Tanner, in hopes
that it will nx ke him fast..
A Maseaehu'setts minister closed hie
sermon and preached to the children;
with "Boys, rove your country,. your
God and your girls"
A. Cincinnati dyer recently went in-
sane from political excitement. We
suppose the more he red the madder
he got.
A correspondent wants to know how
long snakes live. het as short ores
do, unless they are in your boots,. &nd
these can't last more than a few weeks.
Walk through eotne of the diety
eoums of the great metropolis and you
ea* realize the force of the words, '1:°he
man who euters here Leaves soap be-
hind,'
Stories first heard at a m'other's knee
are seldom forgotton.—Ruskin: But
rules of conducts, enforced at the earns
place leave a far mare vividimpression.
'I have a love -letter,.' said the servant
girl to her mistress, 'Will ye rade it
to me ? And here is earn° cotton wad
ye stuff iu yer ears whorle ye rade it ?'
'That prisoner has a very smooth.
conteuanee,'said the judge to the sheriff.
'Yes,' responded the sheriff, 'he was
ironed just before he was brought in.'
In the hour of gloom the thought
that ail men have to die is very com-
fortiug to the man who keeps fuueral.
hacks for hire.
A preacher at a Sunday -school ex
carrion described heaven as an eternity
of picnics —and several young men
ruehubere of his congregation who had
lugged baskets nearly a ton each, and
climbed high trees to put up swings,
have loft the church.
Oue of our religious ooutemporaries
remarks, 'The editor of this paper
writes alt hie editorials on Lis back.'
We write ours on paper. It comes
handier for us and mush more conveni-
ent fur the priuters.
Tho last piece of rustic laziness en-
countered by out-of-town correspond-
ents is that of the man who, being ask-
ed what ailed his eye, answered, Toth -
in' ; I shut it eoz I can see well enough
with one. Sometimes I shat one,
somotimes)the other.'
In one of the Roundout (N, Y.)
churches, on a recent Sunday, the sup-
ply, a minister from New York, after
listening to the fine singing c f the
anthem, said, 'Now that the choir have
had their little fun, we will cotnuhenee
the worship of God by eingiug the 011t1,
-hyutu.'
Believers in metemlryscliosis I.heve
had their faith refreslhed by the recent
birth of a child, who, upon cowling in-
to the world, traded seitrahtng scrutiree
ofa I
lit su rro aidi ngrf, and stoking back
i::whirs nurse's arms, ntelainiece: 'Thank
heaven, at last I have got tnyself bora
into a family that is oowfertably fixed!'
'Pelmet't9rHuecene nt fasting is eausieg
a great cleat of suffering in Borne places,
h '`,s'ewdYork rage t-year•otd boy, whose
I'rents kine great admirers of Dr. Tan-
tiet, salted his tii,tLor IQ/ ti piece of
DESTROYING WEEDS.
To carry on an intelligent war against
noxious weeds, it is necessary to know
somewhat of their method of propaga-
tion. White daisies, iron weed and
other pests which spread from both
root and seed, ought to be dug out of
the ground previous to the maturity of
their blossoms, iu order to destroy the
seed crop for that year as well as the
germ which produces the stem and
blossoms the next. This is accomplish-
ed with greatest ease directly after a
rain, when the ground is soft. When
enemies of this character have multi-
plied themselves to suoh an extent as
to render (lisging out iml'ractible, the
only remedy left is to plow up the in-
fested ground before the seed matllreR.
Brtrdooks whielh spring ap quickly
after bring mown above groun,t will
soon succumb provided the cutting is
done
it few inches below the surface.
Elders and briars that thrice perRistent-
,ly in neglected pl'aoes are in ",tune des-
troyed by m'owing .'own twice a year,
during May and August, ]'lowing up
the roots and llat'rowiirg crit the roots
is an effective merle, especially when
the ground is planted' evith' some swell
orop•Fla corn.
That moat troublesome of plants the
Canadian thistle, can be oongnered by'
choking and smothering it with some
3rop which overtone it and deprive; Tis
leaves of suflioientl'ieht and air. R`ve
has been sown on thistle -infested fields
with good r'sn1ts, especially when it
was followed with clover or timothy.
The mowing the thistles receive when
the grass ie elt't flautist In' feebling their
growth. Mat, and August are the bent
months in which to mow weeds that
die from the leas of foliage.
There is much to be said both for
rend against summer following tor the
destruction of weeds. A fallow certain -
1v' redness the paste, But sO long 1t
stock feeds on weeds the land wilt
egaii fee seeded with them when ma=
nure is applied. Therefore the time
never arrives when the f arm is• free
fenm noxious growth's of one kind or
another whittle Call for more or less
fighting against them. The warfare,
as has been Intimated, must vary in
kind with the nature and growth of the
weeds and be increasing: With con-
staut cniture,gen'erou5 fertilization and
the employment of Olean seed, it is
hardly rossible fi)r any weed, however
tenacious for life,; to gain possession of
one's fields.
A CURIOUS CUSTOMER.
A HlA�i tVtr0 'WANTED TO ENGAGE BOARD
POR TWENTY YEARS.
The other day shortly after the ar-
rival of a train, a man entered an hotel
in this city and asked the clerk, who
stood busying himself with a patent
blotter, the terms on which he could
engage board.
'Owing to the location of yonr room,
sir. Big demand for our roums. Feud
well.'
'1 dant care so mach about the
satin' part.' replied the elan. 'I am
forty odd years old, and have beau
eatiu' about all my life. Its getting
to be an old thing to toe. Well, say,
give me a respectable room—how much
will you charge ?,
'Just yourself, sir ?'
'Well, iu a manner.'
'Two ity-flve dollars per month, in
ossa you are al.►ue.'
!You see, it's this way :—Aly wife
will be with me, but as times are pretty
tight, I concluded to arrange it this
way ; I'll take breakfast, my wile take
dinner, and we'll throw up—wet or dry
—for eunper. By that way we eau
both gat board Err one prile. 1 reckon
I am a li• tie the best manager ever you
seed."
"Fifty dollars for the two."
'I don't understand that sort of
ritinnetic. Both together we'd only
eat the meals allowed fur one person.
It
don't hart a bed any more for two
to steer, on it than for one. I've got a
bed out in the couutry was presented
to my wife when we were married, and
I'll bo dinged if it 'ain't Piet about as
good as new. It's one of these old-
faalhioned beds, with high, yeller frosts,
with knobs on the top as big as young
pumpkins. I'1! furnish the room with
this bed and one Winer, My wife can
sit oil the floor. I've lived in the
country all my life, and have' made a
little money lank year, 1. ounoftuded to
come to town and splurge a little.
Thar's a woman down the country has
ell the time been !stickier' agiu my
wife, and toget away titith her we have
concluded to board ab a hotel.'
'Fifty dollars per month is oar low-
est tate.'
'flow much by the, year I am going
into this huffiness right.'
'Six linndred dullars.'
'This is a wholesale busineee with
mo. Hew much for ten years ?'
'Sir thousand dollars.'
'That's getting down to it. How
much for twenty years , ,ease..,.------- _...—--re
'Twelve thousand dollars.'
'All richt. 111turk me down for a
sneak right now and check it off for
twenty years !'
'See that card?' said the olerk point-
ing to the hotel maxim of persons with-
out baggage are regnired to pay' in ad-
vance,'
'Oh, I've got the baggage,' and the
man lifted up the carpet bag.
'\,Vonat won't ougo.' p, .A i REDUCED P IZ ] C E S,
'Won't you take titin as security .
Sr.Rt'i'ElefilEit 13, f gS Y
C , cG S, Gil)I1.);Y.1
LT11d.�.ertalL(r 4 coal 14.11 Ll'il itu'i' .,\ Lt'bn•1"lt.l: 'L(.tu1'('I 4
'WOULD SAY TO 7 1 W 0 It I, I1
tilos(! who Intend '. -:-•r--..- y
y - w - '° enllape clulltbtout[tu
antrchnsli:g to ,to so from
lav, " ., " ,u our nutlet:WON; ((spurt,
the manufacturer, 'filo nont,whlcli Isinert• a,rut-
Realer who buys to soli -:&:!'",:-.:',,•:,,,,..
_}+lt+Lrt:ntttvtu,tu.hs toa},ttin must neeessariiv x't••, rdtledsvu't t „•�}�It1 tt.atlell;;.,11nvu a proilt. 1Ve ,eluent ",?,,, i+: ^h,,..,.�3 ,>i.,y� l�lot' into 'i'lau hcr�l, uo(Ilat.,,.
to give the nurehasurs bite re_ !� ,eask,'t•s aht•outl".aud rusty
beuefit,whicit eanuottail - t.littoral raguisitt at tho
to meet the views Of tho L a ' 1 �,� loweAt pricer . Our new
Grangers, Our moonset; c. , ]{clines Is pronounced l,,}•
are loss than tbose of ci> tit c ruipnOwl, lnd!rer, to i'.
e/liesecond to liar e to Cl e
We uau seitoh
untnu'at't#nrerreollat, n . \ `•�i
q nit
uunur, .. _ produces
mb1er s of all 'tile, t ifo Wn,t Soolet es,
THE CANADA 0011IPANY'S
aidty f:
in order to meet the present del•ressinu,the Canada (`t mistily offer for sole or lesao, ou er r t.tIt: =
1U certain gases
'No, get out of here 1'
'But I want to board here twenty
yearn:.'
"Go on away.'
'1'11 leave your snide hotel, sir. but
first let me show you ' Ile lifted up
his carpet bale, opened it and and 'dhe•
played $50,000,000 iu goveru went
bonds.
'You can stay sir.'
'No, I believe not. It takes too
much money to put up at this hotel.
Gess I'll go round and put up at a
wagon yard..'
Ever since Cvmn gave Abel a clip
with a club people have lost looney by
not observing the laws' of politeuess.
I'IOW PROOF READING
SOUNDS.
Some writer has produced a pbehi
entitled 'Sounds from the. Sanctum.'
It reads just too pretty, and give ripe to
the. thought that the author' never
visited the sanctum when bttr'iuesx was
i I full blast? Lf he had called about
the right time;for instance; he would
have seeu two' saints, one pouring' over
a
proutslipe the other holding' the
copy. and the sound's wealdt have beim
sotnethiug litre• this e
Proof Reader—'As flowers without
the su•nahine fare •'•-comma' -so—cam'
ma—without you—uommt ---do 1—full
slop—breathe a dark and dismal mare
Copy Holder—"1'hundef f not mare
Proof Reader—'I breathe a dark`
end dismal air--comma--ns. flowers--'
oornm'a—'
Copy Holder—'Shont the cnmma.'
Proof Reeder—"Tis done. As flow-
ers—without the sunshine' fore—semi-
colon—confound slug seven, he never
justifies his litre+=No joy in• fife—oom•
ma --no wormy--'
Copy Holder—' Warmth.'
]'roof Reader—'No warmth I share
—ormma—and health and vigourous
flies"—
Copy ,Holder --‘Blazes! Health and
vigour fly—'
Proof leader --'Health and vigour
fly—full stop.'
That is about the sound of it when
poetry is on deck.
A SIR. Davidson, of Nova Bootie, is
now iu St. Tnomas, endeavorin a to es-
tablish a plate glass factory. Ile will
not accept any tonus from the city,
but offers to put in the largest amount
of capital of any one of the cotnpany
to be formed. This will be en im-
portant industry for the conotry as
well as the town of St. Thomas, as
there is only one such establishment in
Amerina, which is in Pittsburg, Pa.
Mr. Davidson states that the sand iu
the regiuu of St. Themes is the best
he hes found in the country, and seems
very anxiety to proceed with toe open-
ing of the factory.—Toe above is clip-
ped from the Lendou Advertiser of
Sept. 4. The Tizar man never the
less finds fault with the N. P., and
says that it is ruining the country, but
under the administration of his politi-
es) friends, ho never was able to report
the starring of any new, or the revival
of any old industry, strange that he is
so blinded to facts.
.02111.1111
Important to Consumptives
A gentleman having been so fortunate as to
sure his son efOoilauttll)tion in its worst stage4,
after being given up to die by the n.ost cele-
brated physicians, desires to make known the
cure r(. n•1ti uh proves successful in every case)
(
Y H(. )
to those atlticted with Asthma, Bronchitis,
Coughs, Colds, Consumption, and the Aiiica-
tions of tho Throat red Loup, and will sand
tl)e Beelpe, free of elntrge to all who desire it,
if they will forward their address to DANIEL
ADEli 94 Liberty St,, Now York. 6m.
1)r. Fowler's Extract of Wild Straw.
berry curds canker of the stomach and
bowels, dyseutery, oholroa murbus,and
all SIlulnhur oolhlpiaiutas
\11 thea. T.. t1' rc•olt[lnod or bl,noiaietl by the" letko Burwell I)+•ahrwe Works," iu the Towu;.itil,
of nosauquet, yteplien Irbil 11AWRY ray, futn r O.w-:ttus 0 l.aul.twnt, Ilutou luU Middlesex respee.
ivuh '.
Lists of Lands may be obtained, and glair of the Lots tu'ty be rut u, nu top1oatton to Hen Toh:,
clttuau, Exeter, or. George W. llotwsll, or Ett, "11 idw.all liras •,"'tyi.1It t• Station, O. T. Railway.
or to 11r. J alai L01181(10, of grand head. For Lists, l'eices, i'w•ut- nr otitur lurorultetiou, ult til y ie thu
Uom.nissiou sera, •111,11 flan, Company, Toronto. U. 0' d.1.1,'Pi 1i.•tt, 11UL 'ATT, Coumit•alot•rs.
(auntbt Uempuuy's Uifcos,1lay 20, 1880. San
THE VT
—e
My Old the
Y.
NOTHING LIKE IT EVER STENT..
PEOPLE (YA 1NT1 Off' RE:ALTZE
Until they call and' make an. examination' what', Real Bar,
g=ains are offered'. Everything at the Lowest figure is the in-
ducement we (,lfer in
STAPLE AND FANCY DRY GOODS
Foots and' 'hoes,: Hats- and' Caps,.
Ladies' & Gents' Furnishing Goods,:
elothin ,;,, Crockery C lassw ire,• g3,rdware, Groceries;'
\Vines and Liquors.
R' CA IN f
Main. Street,. EX'ete
JUST RECE1VL1) AT THE.
EXE o Ci: .
s<
.A.ND L_[QUUR• STORE•,,
LAAGE Szibcilc- OB'
t t.:011EN, JAPAN,
YOUNG HY1 'ON
aud•BLA:dXi.' TE .s;•
LAll3Ii�S, CURRAtttNPS:
PRUNES I71i+f E D' APPLE'S�
CANED FRUIT;
SARDINES.
LOB'STER'S,
SALir0N,'
J BITTER SAUCE AND PICKLES, BRANDIES: GINS, WINES ANT)' SYRUPS, It 1E DIAL'.
SCOTCH, IftIs1I AND'OOJI.IION WHISKIES, TOBACCOS AND OItrA1tS,' •
Wholesale` and Retail,
C . A., MACE:
Main St'reet,Exet'ee:•
SAW ELL
PIOKARD
Ate daily opening out large gnauti-
ties of
Fresh, Seasonable
DRY GOODS,
Dgob ani Shots,
,ts and Caps,
e c., ()(,y., &e,
Ct r. Jp ¢• ii a
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A splendid range of
CASHMERES
BlackLustks:.
Pompadour PIC I.4^T.4,
WIN CEYS,
TWE F,D ,
orit Wtiit&t
SHIRTS; DRAWERS,,
&C.)
—AT—.
SAID/YELL. & PICKARD'S;