HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1880-4-29, Page 6G
GETTING Tu THE REAR.
The following related by an officer
of the Stonewall Brigade, zne.y interest
'some of our soldier friends tee
While Jackson's cod's lvati ea ntious-
ly moving to the rear and flak of the
Ueion army M Chaucelloreville, the
Confederate cavalry in advance bedtime
engaged with the enemy, S ton n.
wouuded and bleeding trooper *as seen
'enlarging from the Woods in front. Af-
ter looking around he moved in the
direction from which the infantry were
marching as if seeltiug the rear, or as
the average gray -jacket would say, be
r'ar. Soon after rapid firing explain-
ed that the bale -jackets had closed in.
behind jackson, and it was not long
be'o'e the poor cavalryman was seen
e iniiug back again. When opr ;site
the"Stone)vall;" another cavalryman
from the front also arrived. No. 1 et
O'le"f' recognised him, ted said ''Ii;tilo,
13i11 -w' nnd•'d ?'
"Yes," sail. No. 2, "but not bad.
• Let's to the Car."
At wbiicll No, 1 exclaimed t This
the tlarntlsst f elft I've bin in yit, It
han't got no ta'r."
JOSH BILLINGS.
I1E Irl\ E4 a+':•I''; VERT SAGAt iOUS ADVICE TO
''Q 'U I:" fizNGT:.I:3..
Deea Miss ; —This id lti important epuek
into your lift. The fust thing to maple
a gaud quire is to gi;egle a little.
Put up you: hair in e lrl papers ovary
Friday nite sole to have it in good
shape S'tnday zooming. If your dates•
dy is rich you can bay some store hare.
If he is very rieb bay solus more, b'lild
it up high upon your heal; Hien tet a
high priced hounet that rens TT very
high, at the high part of it, end gir. tIp
milliner to plant some hi;, h grown arli
libels onto the Liehest hart of it. Tali.e
will help you sing high, as snl)raue ie
the highest cart :
When the tune is giQ nut, tlnll't ray
Atte"nelinn to it., and theu giggle. Gig
gle a good dt el,
'Whisper to tho girl nest you tine
Em Jones, which sets on the 2 til 'awe!
Low the front on the left-hand side haps
her bonnet with the sante color exec'
she had hist year, and then pat op your
bo•ek to your face and giggle.
Object tc every tune unless there i
a solow in to for the soprano, 0.'tf�ard
11um a good: deeJ before' you bogie] to
sing,
\,rhen yota ging, a. salcw shalce the
artifishels off germ. b')nni'r,, and when
you come to• tt high tone brnoe yourself'
back a little, twist yonr head.• to one
side and open your 'month the eitlest
on that side,sent the eye on the same
side j:1st a triuh•le,.aaa:lrthe'u: put in for
deer life.
When the prettelsee gets under lied
way with his pr"aehine.wvite a note on-
to the bla'ik leaf into. the fourth part
of 3':aur note book, That's. what: the
blank leaf was made for. Git some-
body to pass the note to somebody alga,.
and yon watch them. while til:-ya realb
it, and th"u giggle,.
If 11:tvbod;y t .lbs or 11tffdtia the con,'
gregatshun and the pteaeher takes notis
of is, that':( a Ted ehants for you to
I*izele, ant you ought to giggle a great
(1:,e1. Tni' p re: tchot' darseut say any.
thilttr t't yen beketue you. are in the
(lair.. If you :end hon' before yotn w,lnt
it1 rt the q•tirt', givs him the. mlttez?--•
you ought to, have eemebodkit. better
n.00'.
Don't forget to giggle.
A. CONDUCTOR W110 BACI{JD
IDOMg.
•
Before the train 1rft .Bay City" yes-
terday morning for Detroit, a .womatr
0011' ly .i <' feet tail, and hiving acom-
ph'xiofl Mtn ii freell turned brick,. en•
tered the depot followed by a.; dog al.
most as big as ayearlitli, eatlf. tiaaviue
purchased 'a. ticket, the, woman stool
lyeeitlh the t•'ain until the conductor
calors clang. when she led off tvith;
"You 1inve been l)ointed out'. to tua
as. the boss of this train."
"Y s'm," Wa,s hie modest reply..
"Well, I'm going to, ,Detroit for 'the•
old man."
"Al t ;his dog is miller,• nl'nwg with
trate.: lJt''gras where 1 go,, evei;y, day.
T S tE TIME
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the year."
"Yes, he OAS.. go .dawn in 'the bag.
gage ear,"
"Not any he can't ! That`s what Y
t"tpprd you fi.r. This 'ore dog is going
long in this Fere oar and nowhere el-
Bo."
rules of the road------- "
"Roles le hanged 1 niy old man eau
be banged ar:luud by everybody, and
he never demands his rights; but Lu-
einfill. hain't Thotuas-r-not by a jug
full 1"
"';1Ittdatn, lot 'file
J"1 don't want no clawing off !" she
interrupted, as elle peeled a pair of
bleek mittens off her big reds hands,
-"I'In going, and what I want to know
is whether you want to rliQo a row 11)'
rhe oars or have it right now and right
here ?•'
The conductor 1,oked the dog over
and was about to shake his head, when
the WO man bele ante -log her bound.
and quietly reinarkel :
''1 'pose, biting as I am a woman, it
is not more titan fair for he dog to sail
in with me. 0 we hero I,ttouitltzs !"
"•.ifadnane," replied the conductor, as
he felt a cold shiver go up his legs,
.stake your dog a'ql go abtaard,
„Honest It.jun ?"
"Yes."
"No raw after the cars start ?"
11
"No,"
"Then that settTee that, soil
much obliged, tboneh you slid )(Meer
hatlig flit' at first. Leonidas fuller we
:mil behave yonrself. !"
THREE \\011ENIN ';OU vr.
There wag a jury trial ill Justice sill
ley the other day in which nearly a
d+'zeu people livitag i❑ the western so,
cls: tie wore mixed up as plain titre, de
f''1.114108 11.'),1 tvittlosa•ea, It )tppeere that
sl'a. 131ae.k borrowed a wesh'tub of
Airs. Brown, and white in possession of
the borrower a 0.'w knocked the but -
nen out. Atter a.»eighb'trhood •gnitr-
rel, snit was brnnght to recover the
antitrust. Mr-. Brown thereupon lout
in as nit offset dist she had nursed the
plaintiff for three Jaye and received uo
10,y.
" Nur.e for !" echoed the defendant,
"ehc eat, c1i.1 nothing;' whi:H she was
tite!e but 11nv (loa0 custard pie and
tatt'e fib .u' the neighbors."
•'t.,ust:tt tl pie 1 and who lent you the
s11i'atlop'a'l eggs and lard to make it ?'
h. l 1. el lite 011101'.
1 t i, i1 :ler put his• font down and.
pat eh. it np a temporary. truce, land he
vIttintit; to,.k the etau.d..to testify ahunt
le'1tiIi'ti the t rib ttnd what it was worth.
She estubll 1r-211 the value at 75o, end
alar+ t,:3 d-ieu.litot belled, over load ex.
°lei:nen :
"7eveitiy five cents 1 Why both ears
and the top hoop %rev.' riff 1 LI, wasthe
only tub ,:11[1 bas had •itiee h -n• mar rage,
anti that tt'1t.s rl,t.nt toH y,„,„;a•,,{•'."
"Andve had t') lt•ll, 1t to v n r very
r1".uet•day all that time 1" retort. d.. the.
plain t i ff.
His Heiner aecu:'e'i silence in tlhe.,
court, aril the d[401:dt1nt took the stated
tall said that 1,•1' se'rvic'es its nnl'se were
'worth at bast $2.
"What ailed the plaintiff.?t' asp eel
the lawyer.
"Weil, I d oe't 1: -now as I" ar;bt to
say that her. Intebltu.i struck her
with--"'
"Don't n't yon dart to say tlia,t 1" inter
ruptt'd the pl:luatil,, "yeti knew that I
fall down lh cellar nt".:•est. If toyehni;•
band hit m0 on • the heal with a pleat.
platter, as yo us dict,
r"Lubjoet 1" excla•itn.d both lawyers
its thorns.
"So d'o the 1•' adderl'botll ''en1:11es iu
a breath.
Hi, Honor porwiie,T the. (leek until
everything 'attiet3, t'.tld thou a witness
was put on the stand to testify til:tt
she saw the tub when it was lent and
aagain when it had been damaged. Site
tl#aad.scareely got stared. the de•
remises, whose witnetis•e?tae was, galled
out
"You are not sweariug is ;