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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Times, 1879-8-7, Page 2'Your rife going to the country ?' ask. t1 i.i recn tta ne n1et 13rotvn tel 1Vovd• THE FOOTMAN AND !.UE CON- VIOT, The Eingstou • Whit says a good A: t'ti avonao yesterday. story 1.3 tola at the expense of one tri nese not. 1 oiter& 1 her $50 to the Governer Uont-r"ti's footmen, talose ready, bat-t•ho declares right up auti in.ufft ittbly snobbish servttuta who put t;t an tl.tet., kIE won't go.' on suoll airs !aero in direct ()mitt net to you, worked tho ill -health the example set them by the A1algnih lc,, t9 to ?' tun], i',.ince Is. triad to ; slut she lets gain- \i'hon the two distinguished guests s t January, ttti<t:t:u pounds since 1,61, J.6u t 31 :11x1 nor: r 1,,ohed ht ttcr,than now. Cu"•u't Fon i t Ike her 1.rlieve her r t 't'e-• ,:le ivlttxii g ? flhttt getters:11y f.url, pretty welt.' . L(.1.3.11.t ttt, it. She alt cps like abrick, joker despite the s':ber surr.)UIP.tinks, anll,er nerves warts XIV stronger,' Huta so I1c� raid that he was arrested for !And she doesn't want to see her steeling; a sawmill, reuleuibo:it:g an old i other?' juke al that glass.. "lIet mother id. deals.' The servs u t seemcd astonished, 'lli ,fi.tivn good ?' "Aw, weatly, i'ttw that ?" ,Ileaditl, She eats everything,from t "Yes," said the pt'iwner, `:but they a radish to limburger cllceie, and I can't tail: change 1:t' dint to her.' Green felt to lnusiug, and ;by and by cn11'iu'1• d :— were inspecting the � tlltitcutiat•y one of the servants addressed .a ecinviet "Ayr, my niau,whut are you in Beath The priaaner• WAS sontowIia of a did not tuind that so nlucll. It was because I went back to steal the darn that they went for lite." {{ The tipnkoy 6161i1 it WAS very extra - Mr. Brown, you have been a good I ordiiltU'y, mad left au tigittttl:d and as- h Dell ts-hDell to me.' tei11.:11cd man, VVt,,l, I male so.' - 'Yes, you have stood by me like a Ir WAS A Ills.—Any Person pass - brother, aid now I'll do you et favor, lug ttluti{f Ii)Ward Street, just before My wife left fur nor mother's yesterday, noun;, ,.,.eider day, woniti of the hslave sen him to11 gone ten weeks I trioti every 3' t be yard, a pillow under his head, his tiotlg,�e I colts,.! ,.!sial,. of, but she ryas hound to stay home. At hist I hit it. ftiet au t6 1)01!011, and a magazine in lis She has freekles. hands. He looked the picture of coin - 'Ah ! Egad ! So has mine.' tort and contentment ; nod the MIAMI 'NotlutrtT but the country sir in June !ming along with 1 ullback dresses on, • will start freckles.' 'Trite—true. Peels 'em right off in feoni fatty to eight.weeks, leaving the iitatecl out 011 i110 still summer stir, and cuntpletien as lair a babe's, and with. Leeched a loudly cord in the Howard nut injury to the most dt;licate eye street lotto's heart. The echoes souud- browe.'edto him like the funeral whispers-- You see—'like the whispers of the night wines. Mr. Green' I see it all. I shall sighing through the rand old wilder - never forget your kindness. In less +' K graud a week my freckled wife ' Hess. will be in Berrien County, and you ' 011, solemn bell !" he said ",Oh, and I will stay nut till two o'ulocl: iu sad, solemn—!" the morning, and then go to my house and sleep .in the best bed with our poote on ! Mr. Green Lor' b'ess you— shake ! Any time you want a favor you may rout nae up at midnight and command !—Datroit Free Press WANTED TO 141 RA R` THE PRESI- DENT. A Washington dispateli to the Ohi- He got up like a man in a hurry. He cage .News tells this story . .A. tall, strong, healthy -looking young woman with a straw hat jammed over her eyes and with a long linen duster over her dress called at the White House Monday afternoon and said she wanted to see the President, She sent in her name as Emeliue Noble, The President ad- mitted liar, and when ehe saw him she said: "When me?" Tho President saw at once that he had a crazy woman on his bands and replied : "Why I have a wife already." " But," said Misn Noble, "1 under- stood you were not living 'with her now. I wrote you three or four letters offering to Lntrry yon, and as you did not answer, sileuce gives consent, and here I am." The President said he had to go down to see Mrs. Hayes, and as he got out of the way of the tall,strapping young womau ho called two police of. 3iicere, who took charge of her. Up - nu taking her to the station she was found to have $250 in her pocket,while her appearance snowed that she belong- ed to people of comfortable means. She was sent to the Government In• sane Hospital, where it is was found that her people resided at Freemont, Iud. They telegraphed to have her sent on to them and they woul d pay all ex- penses. When sus was taken to the asylum another woman,Mary Elizabeth Ooburn, of Montgomery county, Md., bad just been brnaflat in. She also was insane and afflicted with .a marry- ing arrying mania, bat the case was a little dif- ferent with her. She was ready to marry anybody in the whole world. She also was sent home. MR. SPURGEON RINGS IN A JOKE. sighed and wished they were men. The great city hall bell struck the • Hour of noon. The deep -toned echoes THAT IMV1ES suture ad. Udera S. 1+AIIII3a1IBM has on hand at Henault as Large its handsome a stock of-VeRN.tTIIRE as eau be .1 in any estakllitlintuilt in flu: on, all of which he !S.,. PREPAED TO SELL CHEAP ! UM'DERT4KINO IN ALL ITS BR/INCHES Having proc irtcl a handxon e hearse, he is prepared t' attend to LTN.LiF,..11'.1:4RINt.T, Tcralas, On il,it. Most R8880,1010 � 1 T ,tort kin'• RusiucFs be n.eshe Anti foe tic l'lttict,.Avhlch . In connection Iv1h. the L r x gt preserve,. the respectfully solicited. "ti'r,1,'r t,1f>i�l _... :tet . ....._ _... _??. r t1ihi,I.4 tt IA. Al l.11?i' liti'1'itit'I'itA.111 i C a 7 +"t.l'i�i '�"."' �!; d w'.:? Till 110xta and t'160'1'IIII;l'artt Tithe pleasure to b form tbt i mib .tunt� of f;xetl ,gala surrounding ccantll gait tm•y have ju.t epo„led out al, It.ee!,.lady:c ttne+tttof " teas, i:ntltilc,,7 t,thetttrstaxvI ttteaez,.t ins,.n,.c;lat.1.tesm•s:'t taut ill °e ut nt r 1 t,l u't > I) . t!u y can shit th.r TTHE .t11.a tt Y1:.i.1;.lA to , q - bo: ty and dastroys t 11 CI%onsive v'iors; ax prevents 0oldtagi.tn arise+g from rionii'bodics• A. call I g o`.�`"„b' ' .` .� s,l', w° „ „l' . P1anin r;' Mi ll So oh f. That was all he said about the bell. A. bumble bee settled dowu on dile to look for engar, and as lie turned partly over, he gave the bee a rub. It is o bad thing to rub any kind of a bee. He feels insulted and frets annoyed at things which a moll turtle or a dove would pass by without tt thought. The echoes of the bell wore just dying away when the Howard•street man got nil. are you going to marry didn't meander—he went like a rocket. Something seemed to ail him. He made a line fur the house, went up the st8ps at a bound, and, as his wile asked him the rause of his haste, he replied,- "Thunder—oop 1 hoop !" "Is this house ou fire?" she asked, as he tore around the parlor and up- set Things. "!louse be—oop ! Lordy 1" he an- swered, as he made a circle of the room and dashed into the 11011. The dog xusbed after him, the 'wife rushed after the dog, and the man bounded out of the bone. "Are you crazy, Robert ?" shrieked the wile, as she beheld him pounding his lege with his new silk hat. Two or three boys ran in from the street, a strange dog came in and got up a fight, and all things conspired to make a lively time. "l•Ie's got the colic!" yelled one of the boys. ,.Or the tremors 1" shunted another. "See that hat !" called the third. "Boys, go out of Here," whispered the panting mall, after ho had stopped using his hat. They went out, and as he limped iota the house, his teurfnl wife asked, --- "Now, then, will you tell me what has happeued ?" "No, I won't 1" he shorted, and he didn't. She fell into hysterics at the thought that he had usnd his brain too much, and had suddenly became craz- ed ; and he went down to the drug store and applied arnica to the spot, and informer{ the clerk that 11,997 of The the largest kind of bumble bees settled right down on him in a body. Fortune telling has its admirers, and yet there are those who fail to see its beauties, and one of these "victims" tells how. . Mr. Spurgeon recently told this anecdote as he gave out an anthem : A high churchman and a Scotoh Presbyterian minister had been at the same allurch. The former asked the latter it ho did not like the "introits." He replied, "I don't know what an introit is." Said the Churchman, "Rub did yon not enjoy the anthem ?" He replied , "No, I did not enjoy it at all." "1 ata very sorry," said the church. mair' "heeanso.it was used in the early Uhnroh, in fact, it was originally sung by David." "Alt," said the ' Seotohtnan, "then that explains the Scripttn•e. I can un- derstand. now, if David sung at ,that time, why Saul threw his javelin at hi tri ." This was fon() WO by a Ionil peel of 1n.nt htcr, when Mr. Spnrgeon said. 'l.dI'S 1,:in;tho an!h^tit. E —t ,.1 i 1 FTE E T NI E S Cheap • DO -Olt AND • ALL KINDS O1" TURNING -Done I)one to order. Remember thcplace 11 vex. a EC ow ard Eros HEN BA.�I.Lr ! PORK PACKING HOU8E Having commenced business for the Fall andWinterTrade We are prepared to purohase any quantity of Pork, subject to the following regulations: We will take off two pounds per hundred if dry, and three pound if soft. Shoulder stuck, twenty-five ceuts. If any of the bung gut is left in, 25 cents extra will be deducted.. V) por will be bought at an price if warm. S A7LTS .ACarES —.AND... Pork Cuttings on hand at reasonable rates. •- We want all Hogs Cutting aright through (roast to Head, and Firms opened out to tail. G t j. PETTY, Washburn & N ae r Mfg. to iia t:m11r•, -e ,ir., r. ontrent?, 3'. Q. Sole Manufactures in Cala la of PATENT STEEL BARB FENCING THE BEST AND CHEAPEST FENCE for Railroads, Farmers, and All kinds or printing done neatly cheaply and with dispatch. Stock Raisers.. Order you work where you can get it done the cheapest. ,e p or EEL Thorne 'Hedge. No otherrusts, singsu cheap or put up so quickly, Never rusts, staled, ctectys,shrinks , nor warps. Unaffecteei ov fire, wind or flood. A. complete barrier to the most unruly stock, Impassable by mttn 01 best. 42,000 MILES Or BARB I•'ENCE ERECTED LN TIi& U`iLTE1 STATES 111 LAST TREE =Amis. Ask Yourself these Questions - Are you a despondent sufferer from Sick Headache, Habitual Costiveness. Plapitation of the Heart? Have you Dizziness of the Head ? Is your Nervrns System depressed? Does your Biood circulate badly? Have yoa'a Cough ? Low Spirits? Coming up of the foot after eating ? 66e., &e. All of these and much more are the direct results ori Dyspepsia, Liver Complaint and Indigestion, GREEN'S A.aeus'r. FLowrn is now acknowledged by all Druggist, to be a positive cure.. 2,400,000 bottles were given away in the United Status through Drug- gistato the people es a trial. Two doses will satisfy any person of its wonderful quality hi miring alt forms of Indigestion. Sample bottles 10. gents. Regular size, 75 Bente. ,Sold positive by all first-class Druggists.' Ri M0I"A..L'. 11A•U' would remind his numerone ar Customers that he has removed to the &io13formorlyoecupied bytfr. Rood, whore bo will be found ever ro't iy to atte..d to all bunineas in the BOOT •'nil SLOE) Lino, O. RAU, Crediton, Colored Work a Specialty TIMES OFFICE has excellent facilities for turning olit CARIDS, . 'BILL f 111A -DS, P1e/'' S „ ' R S, OIROT1 L f .f.,11 'IJI&,i For the Gardner, tbo Stock Rai er, the Vine- yard Piopriotor,J3ART3 FEN CRR is toe only per- fect fence. SEND MR Iua.'0a RAT)D CA'rALOOBS. fig Active parties to 8.02 as (3onerslAgonts for rho sale of our npeoialtten. 1 psi. ness respectabo. t3ooda$ie1Y rapidly. We pay sitar sale, ,.try and expenses, ora lib- eral commission ib-eralcommission on saixs. Prom' 100 to $200 a month can be •mado by live mon. Rare (Mance for makingmoney, References ra sulrod. Address TRIUMPH M'F'G C0.,116, Mo.rnes t1 ', OstrcAoo, ILL. ,.Chicago Medical College Twenty-first annual Session degins September pl LaborGraded ory stabiis ed, Anatomic 1k2aterial actually ab.indant, Seats numbered, and secur- ed in orher of applioation, Professors fees $7:1, Practitioners`courso through April ; fen $$0, For announcement or p rtioulars, address PROF. J 11 BoLLIsTdr.R:71 Randolph St, Chi. cago, •}} ��qq IiOfficial Reports frac.-- en 90 days investmeo. of '1 An 6�.6LIo� AW Proportional returns every week on Stec) options of 520, St0,:100, -' $500. -Address T. POTTER WRIGHT& 00., Bankore, 35 Wali 8t N.V. SENDTo F• C•f. RICH of Ge•, Portland, ��++ddVV �D Maine, for rho boat O envy bnsiuess in the world. Expensive outfit fres. 717a moa hh,aud ovpon sus gnu ranteed to eget try 4 outfit free. SEAW & CO, An gliata, Itfalno. 777 A MBAR and expenses to agents l Outfit free. Address P. 0. Vioke). Augusta, Maine. AAvertisemerlt of week 110 inserted ars � week tf1,5;0 newspapers no fur :1:10 Bond 10 cents fo 100 page pamphlet. 0.. 1 1 "O WELL & co: N..Y. ST. AI l;.SiY'S IiII%ItSVOItli.S. tiurttrawnkiln s beingitow in full opera.tinu dna, turningcutdailyft largo qwin tit) of Es t,fatforall purposes oanuot be surpassed in the Domin. 1011. eartiesfrom adtate:neeeanalwayeberr*piled either atthe kilns or fltfliyerdbyteame at low set remunerative rates,' 0rderefrom s distune° ttrattt+ptly attended to. WH>TSt'1 • .& 8O1JATE11 •rt M.A..,a,. ,,at'�.