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The Exeter Times, 1879-4-10, Page 3WPItII, 10,1S"l TIE2IM S WIT AND HUMOR. Licensed,, A. scratch race—hilae. The report of the Provincial Score - Stew 11(teeaeity--tile rudder,tary on the working of the Tavern and The song of the bet+— Nep-truie, Shop Licenses Acte, has just issued, and we snake the following extracts from it ill reference to tills county t— Ting-all•Il%1)g is a Cilulese belie. Domestic oaouibale—,lsaolt-biters.. A smashing busier ss--IIai1 Ntolies. 1.[en of sound principals--1lusicians. .A. highly colored tale—The Peacock's. Something you can't oraok with a rammer-.A whip, A. button is a e'na11 event which is alwriy8 corning cff. It takes a gond deal of grief to kill a woman after she has just got a mew setalekiu &Roque. The song of British reinforcements on their way to South A.friea is "We wilt Kaffir murder now I" .A. western editor, in his financial ar- ticle, says; Motley is cluse, but nut close enough to reach. A. small boy and a gun are harmless when a)..sarb, but they make a terrific combination. Bnoksltin gloves aro dear, beaauee the deer is the brtek's kiu. There are two a's to Rptall separate, but the wrong way is epellud with the more e's. ,Strange, but they duu't reap the ice harvest with icicles. A. boy who was spanked said the sensation was thrilliu; to au extreme. "I don't like this w.inter•," said ono pickpocket to another, "everybody has Ills hands in his pockets." To produce a telling effect communi- cate a secret to is Wolnan. Little darkies in Florida are called .alligator blaoltberrioa. It is beauty's privilee to kill time, and tune's privilege to kill beauty. The man who patronizes a second- hand clouting store is never trubled ^wird fits. Surly to bed and early to ryes mak- eth the centre bride "cry out her eyes." If it takes oue hug to make a ham, how many hogs will it take to make a hammer ? When is a fellow's eye like a barrel? when it is bunged up. Tavern licenses Shop licenses issued in issued iu 1870-77 1877-78 18711 II tt ron,eaat.. , S0.......:.80 1 Inrou,south 41 48 9 Llatou,west 41. ..... ...445.....,,,9 Amount that teas paid tomunicipal- ities after dednetiug expenses, in 1870 7, not includingexcess of Statutory fees ;—I1uroo, east, $000.58 Huron solidi, $1,428.44 ; Huron west, 1,018,- l 7, Tines collected Fines cO11c etch in 1876.77 in t877-78 Huron, bast.... $528.00....4225.00 Huron, South, .,.580.00 22J.00 Huron, west 270.00... 498.00 The following were committed to jail for drunkenness Guying the respective years. viz. -1871, 81; 1875, 50 ; 1870, 21 ; 1877, 29 ; 1878, 22. These figures are the committals to jail, end do not inetude the persons who weie released ou peytneut of fines. Census Returns. A blue book just distributed gives Vie oeususee of Canada from 1608 to 1875, and contains much interesting infor- mation. Sotne of the religious statis- tics are worth reading, The contents of this volae constants 1.,e oomptemeut to the ceususes of British North Aineri ca. It is divided into two parts. The first gives the totals of the censuses of 1851, 1861 and 1871 in their propor- tionate relations to population and ter- ritory ; the second gives the general statement of the muvements of popula- tion, or vital siati.oies, from the earli est settlement of Europeans in Canada. A. table showing the results of iuveati- gation regarding human longevity in Uana(1a fleece the volume. The popu- lation of the several cities in the differ- ent years will be ofiuturest,as showing their growth : 1531 1601 1971 Montreal............,57,715 00,523 107,025 Quebec .. 1'3,0,2........ 59,989 59,099 Toronto ' 0,775 436'1..... 5(3.073 Otto.wa 7,7(3 14009.., "1,541 Loudon ,..: 5,033 11,515, 15,826 A paste -pot doseu't denote time, yetThe total populatiou of the province., it is known by its tick, I is compared as follows :— Tiley say that Edison is quite a ho 2norist, and can telephone a story. Sixteen different Connecticut men claim to have invented the buck -saw. aS:aty-lemu fact. Indastry always finds something to do. Su does a mosquito. .A. boy "out rtt the elbows" was asked the cause, and replied, "I laughed in my sleeves till I burst them." "Alcohol will clean silver." Yes, al- cohol well stuck to, will clean all the silver you have—alit of your pocket. A prisoner when asked what trade he wanted to learn, ala i : "11 there is 10 ltl like to be a sailor." objection 1 wort Tho difference between a man and a Ilousein winter, is that oue is colder When he is stripped and the other is 'mariner. -A man in Jersey lately froze the bot - 'tom of his feet, and as he held them to the stove lie remarked, "Two solea 9vi 1Libut a single thaw.out." It takes the fellow who has been kicked off the front door stoop by .the a irate parent of his girl to tell the story ,of the missile toe. 11Y'e are told that in Paris arythiug lost may be recovered. Is that the reason why so malty go there whohave lost their reputatiou Beiajamin Franklin's autograph sold ger thirty cents:+Lit a recent sale. We 'don't suppose curs would bring more than thirty-five 'cents. The radoration of gIlden calve; bas gone out of fashion, and the average wrtlf•worshipera now raves about those .encased in pink silk. It is a;great shock to a man's nervous eystein to have a suspender button fly o8 just as he is making a profound bow to a lady ou the street. "'You ought to husband your coal Imre," said the charity woman. "I always does. =I maim him sift ashes and pick the cinders," Music may lr(tve charms to soothe the : avage ; bat,a trouble -barreled shot gun does the business a good deal ,quicker and at half the expense. .A. reporter of is California. free fight says : "The colonel was shot once 111 rule left elide, once in the right shoulder x'and once iiu the drinking saloon adja- 4r 0e n t. A. young woman who was married in 'Westfield, Massachusetts, n few weeks ';ago applied for a -divorce ou the ground 'that her husband has thick lips. This its varying the plea somewhat. bleu ;have often sued for a divorce because 'their wives have had toe 03(0011 "lip" :ttn(1 insisted upon giving 'it large por, itiou of it to their husbands ; but for men to have too touch ltp'for bi&wife pt011 41ris •is va day of war vhill 3651 1901 1671 Ontario ...952,001 1,11913,091 1,1300,515 (dashed 801,_51.....,...1,111,13i80.....,1,11,1,511 Nova Scotia 178,85) 252.047 685,511 Nott' Brunswick "75,851 330,851..... 1187,81J Furniture an, , Undertaking. S. T'A1BBAII1N has on hand at Henson as IMO. and as handsome a stock of FURNITURE as ea» be found in; any establishment ill Aaron, all of which IK0 i$ PREPARED TO SELL CHEAP ! UNDERTAKING IN ALL ITS BRANCHES! Having procured a handsome hoarse, he is prepared to attend to UNDlalt'1'A1{ING, On the Most Reasonable,. Terms. Iu (ionneotion with the Undertaking Business, he uses the Auti.Srptie Fluid, preserves the body and destroys all offensive odors, aud,proveuts contagion arising from fleas. bodies, A can respectfully solicited. 2,012,919 3,153,501 8,185,76i The statistics of the principal religi- ous denominations are 1551 1871 llaptists 198,940 290,119 Uatunlics................. Church of i ngland..,- 105,500 451,711 M,thodists 411,031 757,:,11 Presbyterians... 172,493 515,005 IitleilieSS au the Intel eulouial walt in freight continues goad, last weey there being 859 cars of freight inwards and 209 cars outward. While making an excavation in Win- nipeg recently, the workmen discovered three toads firmly imbedded in the fro- zen earth, three feet below the surface. They were alive and well, and how they came there i:l a matter of conjecture, as it is not kuotin whether the earth has ever beau worked at this spot. s 'w&X. .:,I '... 1878) IEPA.r=:.:. (1878 -(1 TT_ -IE OLD RELIABLE 1-IOTTSE At all times, and particularly at a period when. Trade is universally depressed and money seared. It is in the interest of every buyer to puroliase where he can get the article he wants at the lowest rate. In calling your attention to my present stook, Ido so with every coned, ewe; it being more carefully assorted and selected than that of any previous season. foseline s :r -men Syrup eau now he pur. ohased right at hi,rue it is the most succe,sfnl preparation over introduced to our people. It works like a charm m all oases of Consump- tion, Pneumonia, Hemorrhages, Asthma, se- vere Conglis,.Uronp and all other Throat and hung Diseases, No person has ever used this medicine without getting immediate relief, yet there are a great many poor, suffering, skepti- cal persons going about our streets with a sil- spicious cough, and the voice of consumption coming from their lungs, that will not try it. If you die,it is your own fanit. aSyou cm go to your druggist and get a $ample Bottle for 10 cents and try it ; three doses will relieve any ease. Regular size only 75 cents. Messrs. Milburn.,Bentley II; Pearson, GEssmlc I1:N,—Some twelv8 year ago I knock- ed off the cap of my knee, and since that time have often suffered with a swelling in the knee joint, caused from twisting the leg. I have used all hinds of liniments, as well as medical attendance; but on the last two occasions liave used Hagyard's Yellow 0i1. '.Fite result has been lmarvellons; instead of lying up for a week or ten days, as usual, all the swelling has disappeared in three days. I most hearti- ly recommend the Yellow oil. Make what. nse you like of this, and state 1t conies unasked ior. Your truly, FRED 1`IILLs, For sale by lir. 0. Lutz, Exeter. 0 In the Dry Goods Every clepartlnont is replete with the inost seasonable and fashionable fabrics, niarlted't a prices which should fen viand the attention of the very closest buyers...: ,,THE ORI) 1i&D OLOTHING still has NIt. W, IVES at itphead In Millinery Undertheme..agementof Miss iitcGloghlon,we ean suit the most fastidious. Our stook of Groceries, Boots and Shoes, Canadian, English and American Shelf and Heavy Hardware ono of the largest and best assorted m the OonntY. Intending purchasers will consult their best interests by examining my stock before going elsewhere. ;JAMES PICNARD VIc'rortrA. Iirl'ui'1lesett1Tus extends its 141010- ence into every part of the h'etti:tu organism,. commencing from the foundation, correcting diseased action, and restoring vital powers, creating a healthy formation and purification of the blood, driving oat disease, and leaving nature to perform its allotted part. It is the, fittest nervine remedy known, and the great,st brain and blood food in the world. For sale by Mr. 0, Lutz, Exeter. Yenr.ow oln, — This name is familiar throughout the entire Dominion, and there are few families who have not found it at one Limo or another an angel of mercy in the household. 'It is the most repels,. and hest, liuimentt in this country, and no one who has once used it will bo without it. Mr. Fred Hills, of Toronto, the gonial civil engineer,, gives, unsolicited. the annexed certificate :--- • TonoN'r0, Ontario, duly 19, 1878. GODERICH FOUNDRY Founders, Engineers and Machinists. MANUFACTURERS OF ENGINES AND BOILERS, FLOURING, GRIST AND SAW MILLS STAVE AND HEADING bI N.CHINE1iY i iiid11iug Purifiers of improved kinds. Aericu1ura Implements COOKING, PARLOR AND BOX STOVES Potash Kettles, School seats, &c. Iron and Bras Ca,s tine s to order' For sale cheap—Second hand Boilers and Lngires Stave Shingle, and Heading Machinery. Repairs on Boilers, Eugiues, brills, &c., promptly attended to; and GODERICH FOUNDRY' and MAITUFACT,TRIITLT co. GODERICH. Ont. McC LFLL.%1NL) BROTHERS, DREWS BLOCK, TPLE NATIONAL P LILY Having triumphed at the polls, ISAAC ARRING LEG -4th Ii. CADDY, 13ARBISTERr 6 ATTORNEY .At Law, Solicitor, .t o. 095oe, Funsou's, Bloek Exeter. I l AIIDINt# IIARDING, & WHITE. Barisbors, Attorneys, Solicitors, Oona- siouers, B. it..3te. 1344(013.-1113',:xox's BLocts, Water treet, 6t.. tin ry's. 1tlnN C4.iiAltnrNG, E. .W.11Artnnse. H.A,L.WHITII Is prepared to give all his customers the barofits th'tt will accrue from its adoption, and lime on hand a largo stock of WMoDtA.RMID, B,A., it1tl1tISTER,N(ITARY, CONVEYANCER • LUCA1,ONT. 1t�%J ESSIt. S. JONES & MOSCRII' A7R Barristers, A.ttoi'oeys-at-law, Solioitora. Olie,cery, Couveyaneers, Owninies)oners iu3lIt. 9',, N ote,ries Public, St, 3iarv's C. S. JONES. W,o.MOSCIIIP, O8 P1 orf—Hutton's B1oek,Waterst. St bfars,'a Ff1EDIC4L . GO�VEN. OFFICE — Street, Exeter, up.stuirs, opposite Centr1MMAINal Hotel. Side entrance, on the south—street lead. igu to B. C. Church. 1.s0rders left at urine's shoe store will receive promt)tatteution. 40-1y. DB. HUTOirINSON, Member of 3J the College of physicians 4nd Surgeons of Ontario, &o., &o., Wain Street, Exeter. It. HIND)MAN.—CORONER FOR the County of Huron. Office,nextdoor to flr.I. Carling'sstore, Exeter. W. BROWNING M. D., C. 111. cif s T. 8, G aduato VictoriaUnivorsity Oele and residenoS. Don. :dor Laboratory, Exeter. IR C. i�IOORE • K. D. C. M. .1.1..f• Graduate of McGill University, Montreal Office and residence,Exeter, Ont, OCioe 1 ours-- Rto 10 a. m and 7to10n. m ll. J. A. ROLLINS, M. C. P. S. 0., Victoria 5+,, Crediton, Ont. Office hours from 9 to 10 a. ut.; 2 to 5 p. m. { LUTZ, m.1)., 't ) • Uifee at his residence, Exeter. �)II. IRVING, RADUATI'; UNI- VFIB,SITY Trinity college Simi ,l,orCollege ltuvsiciant and surseonr Ont., rfticeliirkton. HOTELS. CENTRAL :HOTEL, CREDITO1 ) —Wm, baker proprietor. This Hotel has boon newly furnished and fitted up in first flax& style. Large and convenient Show Rums for (,on:mercial Travellers; best of liquors and cigars l at the Bar. Attentive Heatlers always on hand. fit 21-3m. WILLIAM 13113131(3. } Dry' Goods, Groceries, Wines am l/ Liquors, Crockery, Etc., At his Store, Main Street, Exeter, which will be sold at Which will be sold at prides unheard of under Free Trade.l The farmers of the surrounding; country will find it to their ad- vantage to sell their produce without paying market fees, on the Exeter rarket,`,vhich is second to none in the west, and then call at the store of the subscriber and Secure Immense r argaipe . atriltry 1P nll.elotlls' Broad-('lotl there to; be had 1n Overdo �, , ,Doe skins Silks, Wiviceys, Deluines, and everything lioededin. theDry Goods line. The Grocery Department very Cor rias. An inspection invited No trouble to t low geouti ISAAC C l.RLIN G . RINCE Or WALES IIOTEL, OLIN ems% e SWOTS having purchased the above hotel, and fitted it throughout, now of. Pers Brat -ease accommodation to travelers, Good liquor and cigars at the bar. Good stabling and attentive hostler on hand. Every attention paid to guests. COW ..ataseznzazzionat.ain....soaneo ST. M 'S LIItIEWORES, our drawn kilns-beingnow lnfuli operation and turuingout daily a targe quautit3 of LIME that for all purposes cannot be surpassed in the Domin• ion. Partiesfrom a d.istauce ean always boy* spile d either at the kilns or deliyerd by teams at low est remunerative rates. Ordersfrom n distance promptly attendedto. WHITSON & SCLATFR. (1 rocerfes (ton/ectionary smoking Tobacco 25 Cents per 16 OHOICE TBOACCOS AND CIGARS always inatoek. i SPORTSMEN'S DEPOT. School Books, Stationary, Magazines WI1II ALL THE LATEST news J.B.—Sewing 343acl,it.. Needles ofo very 6in3, A. BOYD. (Successors to R. V. PIEISOP1;11f, D.) Dn.11. V.1121101, having acquired a world-wide reputation in the treatment of Chronic Diseases, resultItur in a professional business fI r exceeding his individual agility to Conduct, some years ago Induced several medical gentlemen to associate them- selves with him, as the Faculty of the Worhi's Dis- yellowy, the Consulting Department, of which has since been merged with the INVALIi)6 ItOTELs rated muter the Ihas mmol,tn l strle'of World's Dispen- sary Medical Association, with the following officers: Hon. R. V. PIIVICE Pres. T.1). rumen V. Pres. 1N0. E. rumen, SCC. LEsTEn 13. SMITH, Tress. AIME PurrstorAN8 AND SVRGEOSs of mall - Were and skill have been chosen as the Facility. OH Dom DISEASES of all forms cmnewltnln the province of our Art'at11 specialties. =NO DISEASES.—This division of practice is very ably unwaged by a gi[entrenlan of mature Jrrdgtr- met.t and skill. Bronchial, Throat. and Lung 3)1s - eases treated whit Plc mostsueeesstttl results. DISEASES 010 WOMEN.—Es noisily ammo, facili- ties of a superior order for the care of all Moen chronic diseases peculiar to females. NERVOUS IHt3IiASES.—Ptaal VMS, Nervous Debil- ity, Epilepsy (t'lts), Ohurea ($0711. y's Dance), Neel ralgia and Other nervous aitc.ctlous, receive the attention of an expert in this 4peelSR a NOT NECESSAIex TO SEE PATIENTS. -By our original system of dl tguosis we can treat many chronic diseases ns suceessfully without ,ts wlih t (ersoual Coneuttatton. For particulars see " t'cople it Common SChse Medical Advisor),.(1 W5 prises, sits post-paid for 81.65) or "Invalids and ;uouris ' l vide Book ' (100 pages, 10 04018 post -pard). olin61CAL OASES.--Anintrlt the operations which we are called upon most frequently to perform, are those for �Nasttt Polypus, Euruli,`t) 'Tumors,-Fletufa in Ano, Piles, Millis (Ituptprt), klytlrneele mreevv of the Set'otunq, Varlfoiule,' U6u:r1),ysY Tri ,(110,0, luusors, Calculi (Steno to 11,5 1llt ti ,err etur , Mc., etc. We also Mat 80008 sfoll1, Pr 1 nt W 1110111,' 08 ,41 - 08 without surgical ]Yltlet O perstien Spinal Curvatatyurd bilir4Cto(tva11uy.0.rsd..(8atitti-pi' etsf+ entitled, A8118 .vadcr Lt. ofWTtj1 t EtlftA0.8100i